- To meme or not to meme? That is the question. And before we get started,
huge thank you to Audible for sponsoring this video. Pee-woop! Bone. Btwohundredandsix. (laughs) Oh. See, I'm getting quicker
catching up on these memes. By the way, you have
way more bones than that when you're born 'cause you're a baby, it's a cartilage, it
ossifies, turns into bone, they fuse and you get
206, I think from 312. Fact-check that. I just realized I do yoga every day. 13 is my favorite position. Actually, I'm totally making that up. I have never fallen asleep like 13. The people who fall asleep on their back with their arms by them sides scare me. Because who sleeps like this? (snores) Dr. Mike does an operation. Patient's credit card declines. Dr. Mike be like, "So you have chosen to die
of chest compressions." I only do chest compressions
when the heart declines. To beat. Saw that? That was a dad joke. When your boss asks for proof you're in the hospital. (laughs) So this patient is experiencing what's known as Apple-Nose syndrome. On his hand there, that
is actually not an IV, that's the charging port. This patient is suffering
from low battery, and unless you get them to a wall stat, we will not be able to defibrillate him. The head bone's connected
to the neck bone, facts. The neck bone's connected
to the neck bone, facts. The neck bone's connected to the neck... Are they gonna just name
all the cervical structures? There are seven cervical
vertebrae. (claps) And remember, you should always stop CPR after the second ouch from the patient. You should stop on the first ouch. CPR is meant to be done on patients whose hearts have stopped, patients who are no longer breathing, they're pulseless, and
they're unconscious. 'Cause conscious patients have a pulse. When you drink all of the milk. I don't know what... No, that's cancer. This is a... No, this is cancer, osteosarcoma. Who decided that skeletons are scary because honestly, I'd be more scared if the muscular system
suddenly walked into my room. Have you ever been to the bodies exhibit? There's like muscles all over the place. Have you seen the muscles of the face? No? I'll show you. To me, this is not so scary 'cause I know this guy
can't even get around 'cause he has no muscles. So if he floats, I know I can just push
him away, no problem. This jacked dude is scary. Look at this.
(ominous music) Regular back, will hurt
eventually, boring, stupid bones. Backstreet's back, all right. (Mike gibbering) He found it funny. A priest, a minister, and a
rabbit walk into a blood bank. The rabbit says, "I think
I might be a type O." Hmm. (laughs) Obviously, it's a rabbi and it is a typo, but you need a dash. See the importance of a dash? I can give you so many examples
of how important grammar is. Check out this comma. Apple garlic to freshly... Wait, what? Apple garlic to a freshly.
- Apply. - Oh, yeah. My God. Apply garlic to a freshly
opened cut or burn to immediately intensify the pain. Honestly, some of these life
hacks are pretty much this. Remember, taking the vegetables off your double bacon
cheeseburger decreases the amount of calories consumed. This is bad health advice. If you saw this on Twitter, run. Doc: "How many years old are you on a scale of one to eight?" Kid: "It stops at eight?" "It does for you." God, the darkness. And they always combine the dark meme with the cute picture of the family or the nice, sweet doctor just
wishing well to the child. Nurses get called out for playing cards. Anesthesiologists, crossword puzzles. Anesthesiologists do the weirdest stuff while the patient is under. Well, because sometimes the operations take 8 hours, 10 hours. And sometimes they do switch out, but other times they're doing
Sudoku, crossword puzzles. I'm like, "I see you, you're smart." "Does it look bad, doc?" "I don't know, you're probably fine." What is he playing? - [Sam] I think it's LEGO Star Wars. - LEGO Star Wars. And the patient is not
fully in the machine, so this is kind of fake. This would be more realistic
if this radiology technician or radiologists was playing Solitaire. 'Cause the computers are
so old in the hospitals that I don't think they could
even handle LEGO Star Wars. It would be Solitaire
or Bust or Minesweeper. Who plays Minesweeper? Let me know. Doctor: "You can drink one
glass of beer per day." I've seen this with all different types of beverages, no. You have to be really
careful when you're a doctor or a nurse or health professional asking patients questions like this. 'Cause sometimes you ask like,
"Oh, how much do you drink?" And they're, "Oh, one glass,"
and their glass is like this. Back to some memes in a second, but first, let's give a huge thank you to Audible for sponsoring this video. You know I'm a huge fan. I listen to Audible
every time I'm on the go, going to the hospital,
walking Bear, in the gym. It allows me to multitask, focus on whatever it is I'm
listening to on Audible. Right now I'm listening
to such a great audiobook by Rachel Louise Snyder
called "No Visible Bruises". It focuses on intimate partner violence and how much we don't know
about domestic violence. To me, it was an eye-opening read, something that I've actually learned and started asking my
patients more and more about, so I really recommend
you checking that out. All you really have to do is
go on audible.com/doctormike. Remember, doctor is spelled out. Or text the number 500-500
Doctor Mike spelled out. And by signing up, you're
gonna get a free 30-day trial. Each month you're gonna get
access to one free audiobook and access to the Audible Plus Catalog, which has guided meditations,
podcast, and so much more. The link is down below. Click it. Let's get back to some memes. Me brainstorming an
amazing build in Sims 4. Me actually starting to build it. Oh my God, on my Sims video, I didn't know you can
put a whole home down. And when Kelsey Impicciche saw this. Okay, here we go.
- It's like 3 small buildings. Why aren't the rooms connected? - She could have had an aneurysm. It would have ruptured how
disappointed she was with me. When the surgeon says oops. Honestly, the surgeon should say pee-woop 'cause if you're leaving full on scissors in someone's abdomen, you
got yourself a big problem. I mean, look, it's happened. We've left instruments
in patient's bowels, in patient's chest cavities. But the reality is, we've gotten so strict by doing a timeout with our procedures where everyone in the room is identified, the patient's identified, the site of the operation's identified. We then do a very clear
count of all the instruments, of all the sponges even that are out. By the way, if you still see that sponge from the "Grey's Anatomy" episode that Legal and I night
covered, I'm looking for it. All I'm saying is #MissingSponge. Where's the sponge? Take me somewhere expensive. (laughs) Most definitely expensive. But honestly, if someone tells you to take them somewhere
expensive, that's a red flag. If you ask someone to take
you somewhere expensive and they bring you to a
hospital, also a red flag. Don't know who's in the wrong. Me, has veiny arms. Hospital nurses. This is so true. I was just sitting the other
day during one of my shifts, and my CMA's like, "Mike,
you have such nice veins." And I was like, "Is she
saying I'm in shape? Is this a flirty comment?" Nope, she just wanted to draw some blood. Me to my gut bacteria
while taking antibiotics. "Some of you may die but that's a sacrifice
I am willing to make." So true. Look, an antibiotic
kills a lot of bacteria and you have bacteria on your skin, inside your gut, inside your eyeball. Maybe not inside your eyeball. I don't know, do you have
bacteria inside your eyeball? When you take antibiotics, it doesn't choose to only go in one place. It goes into your bloodstream, which then gets delivered to all different parts of your body. Which is good, but at the same time bad because it destroys some
of the good bacteria. You actually have good bacteria in your gut called probiotics. So when you destroy them,
sometimes bad bacteria flourish and you get really bad
diarrhea known as C. difficile. (crickets chirping) Bacteria, diarrhea. I don't know why that took so long. Just call it C. diff. Natural alternative to bug spray. Find this plant and rub it on entire body. Is that poison ivy? This is that time where I'm like, "Don't get your health advice from memes." This is the meme I was talking about. 'Cause if you do this, you will end up in my
office 48 hours later with a delayed onset autoimmune reaction with the most painful rash. And because the rash is
created by the oily substance that the plant releases called urushiol, when you scratch the little rash here and then you scratch your
face here, guess what? It's gonna happen here too, and it hurts. This is a delayed
hypersensitivity reaction that nobody wants. Trust me. Ouch. Doctor: "Your body has
ran out of magnesium." Me: "OMg." (laughs) These are good. People are getting witty. Okay, I'm gonna use this joke somewhere. Okay, now just sleep normally. (chuckles) Yeah, honestly, when you
go for a sleep study, I've never personally had
one, I've seen pictures, I've seen what my patients tell me, it's not very comfortable. I don't think I can
fall asleep comfortably with electrodes on my head, and maybe even like the CPAP if I need it. "Time to test your reflexes." Dodges the little knee hammer. "Finally, someone got it." Honestly, the only thing I need to dodge when I do my reflex testing
on my patients are their feet 'cause sometimes they try and keep me. Eating probiotic yogurt
while on antibiotics. Okay, now battle. Honestly, I tell my patients
either take probiotics, eat yogurt, kefir, sauerkraut, something with probiotics naturally in it. It's a smart move. And it's not now battle,
it's now replenish. when you have a pain in your leg, so you hit it and it goes away. Doktor. That shouldn't happen. I dunno what pain... Maybe if you were sitting and you were cutting off circulation, then you moved 'cause you hit your leg and then the circulation happens. Otherwise, that shouldn't be happening. Doctor: "Which knee hurts?" Me: "This knee." (laughs) I remember with the DASANI. I don't get it. Dasani? Das-a-ni, oh, that's a knee. I hope no one got a tattoo of Disney. It looks real. It looks inflamed. A surgeon, a plastic surgeon. (laughs) Ready? Oh, custom LEGO. Sleeping next to someone you love makes you fall asleep faster, reduces depression, helps you live longer. Someone, one, person, not pizza. Although, it is warm. What kind of prize do you give someone who hasn't moved a muscle in over a year? A trophy. (laughs) I get it, it's so good. For those of you who don't know, atrophy is what happens to your muscles when you don't use them. Because when you don't
use them, you lose them. Whoever came up with that, genius. Whoever came up with
this meme, bigger genius. Me finally gets eight hours of sleep. My neck: "Yeah, but you did it wrong." Honestly, this is me all the time. Maybe I've always had an
unknown childhood dream of mine to become a gymnast. Because when I am in my bed, I wake up in such positions that I can't imagine how I got into them. And my neck thanks to me the next morning by reminding me that I'm not a gymnast, and I'm getting older, and I'm inflexible, and I probably have spondylolysis. Couldn't even say that
'cause my neck hurts so much. Still single? Always. Aw. I wish DNA and RNA can get together, but then it would be like
a polyamorous relationship, and there'll probably be some cancerous mutation
thing going on, so... "Doc, it hurts when I do this." Darthritis. Aw, that's cute. These are the kinds of
feel-good memes I like. Is it osteo-darthritis? Is it rheumatoid darthritis? Is it psoriatic arthritis? I get too excited about these things. In Greek mythology, Chiron was not only
half man and half horse, he was also a doctor of
medicine, much like myself. That made him the Centaur
for Disease Control. (claps) Golf clap for that one. How doctors text each other. Honestly, when we had Palm
Treos back in the day, yeah, I just threw that out there, that is how we texted each other 'cause you could hand-write on
those with the little stylus. (pen scratching) "My dad recently got a 3D printer and made a stool sample for his doctor." New dad joke level unlocked. Genuine question here, who
named it a stool sample? The toilet bowl doesn't look like a stool. Where's the stool coming from? "Family Guy" or Nickelodeon? Which medical scene
reactions are you watching? As always, stay happy and healthy. Click on them. Click, click, click, click, click. (upbeat music)
SUS
That a great video I see u the way u make lovely smile that why it feel to watch ur all video vlogs. And so informative and explain to all u do video.. love you daddy docmike. Muahhh.
I loved the vid doc! Keep rocking