- Patient: I can't get
an erection, doctor. Doctor: Bring me your wife. Patient brings wife. Don't worry you're in perfect health, your wife didn't give
me an erection (laughs) either, oh my god. (cheerful music) Today we're going to be covering one of your favorite
topics: medical memes. And this time we're going
to have some videos also. Huge shout out to Pewdiepie
for making meme review a thing. (high pitched noise) Doctor: you know how
they say time is money? Yeah, you're broke. Oh that's brutal! - [Steve Carell] Oh my
god! Okay, it's happening! Everybody stay calm, what's the procedure? Stay (bleep) calm! - That meme is so mis-titled. It's when a resident goes
to run their first code. What's the algorithm?
What's the algorithm? I wasn't hurt that badly. The doctor said my bleeding was internal. That's where the blood is supposed to be. The blood should be
internal but it shouldn't be just free floating
about inside your cavities. Not a good sign Andy. ♪ I'm a mother lover. ♪ Doctor: You need to
take one of these pills everyday for the rest of your life. Him: But there's only three pills doctor. Exactly. (Gasps) Does that mean he's going to die? It looks like your wife
has been hit by a truck. I know but she has a great personality. - [Baby] Help. (laughing) - When it's finals week and
you emerge from your cave for the last exam. That's actually really true. I remember staying up
like the entire weekend studying and then having
to go and take my test and I just came out and
like the light hits you and you haven't seen the
light of day in three days. Doc, I've got a problem. Every morning at eight sharp, I poop. How is that a problem? I wake up at nine. Yo, these memes are so unpredictable, like I did not think he
was going to say that. Doctor: You're going
to feel a small pinch. Me: Ouch. All right I'm done pinching you, tell me why you're here. 19th century doctor: What you want? Just (bleep) me up fam. 19th century doctor: Say no more. Oh my God, the stuff that
people used to do back in the day, it's just
like, "oh the patient has an infection let him bleed!" Suffering from anxiety, just
give her some of this heroin. She'll calm down. Human body: I can grow a
fully formed human baby in like nine months. I'm talking brain, functioning
respiratory system, eyeballs, everything. Me: Cool, cool. How
long will it take for my twisted ankle to feel better? Seven years and it will never be the same. That's actually so good. Flight attendant: Help! Is
there a doctor on board? Weird aunt: *holding a
bottle of lavender essential oils* I have something
even better. (laughing) I was just on my trip in Costa Rica, and I had a sore throat. I was at breakfast, and I
was trying to order some green tea with honey
because you know that's my magic sauce. There was someone else
at the table with us, and she whipped out some
essential oils and she's like, "Would you like some
voodoo for your throat?" And I was like, no how can a
smell make your throat better? Just think about it, smell
doesn't even get inside your tissues. Rihanna is such a powerhouse. Mitochondrihanna! Mitochondria is the
powerhouse of the cell. You guys wrote it like
five thousand times. I said mitochondria is the
energy center of the cell. Energy center is the
powerhouse of the cell. I'm sorry, I'm an immigrant
and I don't remember exactly what I learned when I was in
sixth grade biology class. My B. But yeah, Rihanna is a powerhouse. Doctor: *handing me my
new born baby* I'm sorry but your wife didn't make it. Me: *handing baby back
to him* bring me the one my wife made. That's so evil. This isn't medical humor,
this is medical evil. Visit reason: persistent cough, EMS post-op left shoulder, unable to eat diarrhea. The importance of a comma is understated. Have a seat Kermit. What I'm about to tell you
might come as a big shock. Oh! This is a really good cartoon actually. That's really good. The only thing it looks
like there's three fingers in the hand, but besides
that, it's awesome. Well, apparently this
dog listens to what I say when I say, "Chest compressions,
chest compressions, "chest compressions." And I'm gonna get a T-shirt
made, swag for all you guys, that has my logo with
chest compressions, chest compressions, chest compressions. Doctor: We pulled the plug. He was in a vegan state
with no hope to recover. Woman: Don't you mean a vegetative state? No, in that case we'd let him live. (laughing) This sign is not appropriate
for the hospital. (laughing) Fall again! I just got it! Oh god. What's with the pumpkin spice latte thing? What's people's obsession on that? I don't get it. It doesn't taste that good. Oh my god, I'm gonna
get the vegan community, the sensual community, all the pumpkin spice latte community. This is gonna be my most
disliked video ever. I'm sorry, pumpkin spice latte people. I love it. It's delicious. Doctor: I have to inform you,
there's only a 50 percent chance of surviving this procedure. Kid: Let's do it twice then. Does he not know then he has
even more of a chance to die? When you're presenting
a case to the professor and the patient starts
changing the history. This is so good! This little monkey thing,
this is me all the time. You walk into a patient's room, you take a thorough
history, ask every question. And you come in and you tell
your preceptor, "Patient X is "a 36 year old female
with blah, blah, blah. "Went to this school, blah, blah, blah." And then you walk back into the room, and the patient's like, "Mmm,
my back pain hasn't been "there for years. Maybe a
couple of days, maybe months, "blah, blah, blah." And all of a sudden,
your preceptor's like, "Did you even talk to this person?" And you're like, "I swear I
did" like the little monkey. Nurse: This jockey was
trampled by a horse. Where did it happen, and
what's his condition? Stable. I got it. Doctor: Are you getting enough sleep? Me-- Honestly, if I didn't just
come back from vacation, I would just show you my
face and you'll say like, "Aw, yeah, that guy
doesn't get enough sleep." I remember one time I
flew spirit and there was a medical emergency and
the flight attendants asked if there was a doctor on
board and this old man woke up from his nap and
said, "Ain't no doctors "flying spirit." This is so true. I used to fly to spirit to Miami when I was a medical student all the time 'cause I had no money and I was broke. I feel like the flight attendants
are not there to help you. They're there to charge you more money and just be cashiers for spirit. Oh, you need help with your luggage? That's 38 dollars. Oh, you wanna bring in an
extra pack of gum on the plane? Extra 5 dollars. You can't fly spirit unless you're trying to save a buck or two. Then yeah, fly that yellow plane. (sirens wailing) (sobbing) That's exactly how you-- You just have this big
sigh of relief just 'cause, oh my god, when you have
a rough night, you need a little bit of help. And especially if the
day shift comes early. Meme videos are one of
my favorites to film. But if you wanna keep
laughing and learn about your underwear, click here. Stay happy and healthy. (clicking)
