- Doctor: We had to remove your colon. Me: Why? Oh! (dramatic music) There's been a lot of
scares in the news media. So I thought, we'd have
a little time to relax with Medical Memes Episode 11. Be-woop. This is the weirdest karaoke
place I've ever seen. (laughs)
Oh my God. For those of you who don't
know this is a colonoscopy. Oh my God! Why is the patients body see through. Hello doctor, my wife
has just gone into labor. Is this her first child? No, this is her husband. (laughs) That was good. Me: Whacks elbow against hard object. My entire nervous system. Oh man that hurts, oof, oof. I've been using this as a water bottle for about a month now. I kind of love the judging
eyes it gets me at the gym. (laughs)
That's really funny. Just make sure if you're ever
using a plastic water bottle or a Hershey's bottle, you wash
it out very well each time. And even then I wouldn't recommend it. Just get a BPA free,
plastic reusable bottle. I know it's funny, but don't do it. Once, do it once and then don't do it. Relax David it's just a
small surgery, don't panic. My name is not David. I know I am David. (laughing)
Oh, ho, can you imagine. That's like the worst
thing you want to hear in an operating room, God
forbid you're hearing. But if you hear, it's Oops. Your eyes radiate like the sun. Jonathan, I need medical help. What, I don't get it? Is it a jaundice joke? He wanted to support her, ended
up with basic life support. Oh, that happens really often. When I was delivering
babies during residency, I would make eye contact with the father, and check in from time to
time, just to make sure, they're not passing out, because there's a
condition called vasovagal. All of a sudden your blood pressure drops because you get really nervous, and you go (whoop). And we don't want to have a
second patient in the room, so we try to get them a seat, have them catch their breath, relax. Doctor Mike after a patient
tells him they eat apples. Good, apples is a great
fruit, it's very good. (laughing)
This is actually very cute, because if you eat a doctor a day. Did I just say if you eat
a doctor a day. (laughs) If you eat an apple a day,
it keeps the doctor away. Doctor: Do you smoke? Dad: Yeah. Doctor: Cigarettes, marijuana? Dad: Mostly brisket and pork. Dad jokes in the hospital. I have patients like this. And while most of the time it's funny and I get a good laugh. Sometimes it's stressful, you're like Oh, my God, that was joke number eight, and I've entered the wrong thing into this electronic health
record, it's really stressful. When your anti-vaxx mom install antivirus on your tablet but not on you. Ah, that's so sad. Who puts antivirus on their tablets? I've seen on Facebook, what a concept. I'm not anti-vaxx, but I
understand why some parents do not want those chemicals
in their children's bodies. I think instead of chemical shots, the doctors should give a
small piece of the virus, so the body can build natural immunity. That's what vaccines are. You literally defined what a vaccine is. Corona virus: exists Me: realizing my shirt was made in China. Oh, come on. All right, this is not turning into a Coronavirus meme review, I'm cutting it off right now, that was the last Coronavirus meme. One of my favorite games
to play is, is my headache from dehydration, caffeine withdrawal, lack of proper nutrition,
my ponytail, stress, lack of sleep, not wearing
my glasses or brain tumor. Honestly, that is what
doctors do, every single day when a patient come in that
says they have a headache. We have to ask really good questions, to sort of narrow down our diagnosis, then do a physical exam, narrow
down our diagnosis further, pick which ones are most life threatening and need to be ruled out, imminently, rule those out and then go
down that list which ones are most probable by
either doing blood tests or imaging tests if needed. Or sometimes just giving
reassurance to our patients that if they drink more
water, they'll be okay. Not giving shots to babies, ant-vaxx moms, responsible bartenders. I get it, that's funny. Get it, because bartenders were like D, and the baby's doesn't have enough years of life to get alcohol. Body: raises temperature
to fight illnesses Human: takes medicine to
reduce body temperature Body. It's so true though, the
purpose of a fever is to fight off the infection. The infection can not adequately survive in high temperatures,
that's why you get a fever. Also, the inflammatory cells of your body that actually fight off the infection perform better at higher temperatures. Unless your feeling absolutely horribly, a lot of times there's no reason to take medicines for your fever. Like the fever is a good thing. That's how we survive, and thrive. You jive. Millennials, quit whining
I paid off a $150,000 in student loans and own a
$400,000 home, because I save. It's not that I hard. I make coffee at home,
bus instead of Uber, shop sales, had parents pay off my loans and buy me a house because
I'm daddy's special boy and got Hulu with ads. (laughs) You know what's funny, I don't think it's millennials that are whining. I think it's Gen Z, and I think millennials
are taking the rap for it. But look, if you work
hard, you dedicate yourself to a field that has value,
and your passionate about it, and you're good at it, you're gonna be financially
well off in one way or another. But just make sure that it's
something that your good at, that it actually can make
money, because like look, I love drinking water, but I
know it's not gonna make money so I don't make this my career. Whoops. - [Camera Man] Did you mean to do that? - No. (bell dings) Sir, I'm afraid your DNA is backwards. A-N-D? This has depth, he said and? But he also said A-N-D? (laughs) Netflix, official trailer, energy healing, psychic medium, psychedelic,
Pee-woop intensifies. Don't be surprised if your
gonna see me do a review very very soon of Goop. I'm just kind of waiting
to see if like it truly becomes super popular and then step in. Because I don't want to lend it anymore popularity than it already has. I've already seen some
snippets on the promos. Pee-woop is coming for you Goop. Doctor Mike is uploading a video. Me at 000 about to turn
off my phone to sleep. Please sleep, I want
you to watch my content, but watch it when you
wake up in the morning with fresh eyes, so you have enough sleep. When you get less than six hours of sleep, like five hours, the amount
of natural killer cells drops and that's your immune system right there, keeps you healthy. And not just from viruses
and bacteria and stuff. From cancers. Get enough sleep, but watch
my videos when you wake up. Patient: I'm not excited
about getting shots. Me: How would you feel
about warts on your penis. Patient: I'll take the shots. Me: Cool. Pro top: Never had a boy
decline HPV vaccination when offered that alternative. See that's 100% true, HPV shot,
vaccine does prevent warts. It also prevents cancer, cancer. And for those of you who
don't know, HPV stands for Human Papillomavirus,
a few subtypes of that virus actually lead to development of cervical cancer in woman. That's why we started giving the vaccine. But then we also saw the
benefits of giving it to boys, since boys transmit the virus to girls, as well as preventing the
virus from affecting the boys. Think about that win,
win, win, win situation. (air whooshing) Who submitted this plant. Are you tryna get my
blood pressure elevated and have hypertensionally,
essentially hypertension. Don't do it, put this plant away. Me watching my neighbor attempting to cure their asthma with essential oils. If you're having an asthma
attack, use your inhaler. Or a nebulizer if you have one. Nebulizer kind of sounds
like a Star Wars gadget, but it's really not. The baby Yoda is so cute. Oh, look at this Pee-woop. Yo, this is the ugliest
cartoon of me, I've ever seen. But I love it, I love it. I would get this tattooed on me. Why do I like it so much. The left eye, going one way and the right being bigger in another way. And my tongue out, I
never stick my tongue out. Bear looks adorable. I love it. As a doctor, I never make a joke about an un-vaccinated baby,
but let me give it a shot. Dermatologists at a soccer match. (laughing) They're hiding away from the sun. By the way, if you didn't know, the best way to protect
yourself from the sun isn't sun block, it's
staying out of the sun. Shade, covering yourself with clothing, and then sunblock, you dig. This is Bear's bone. Me: WTF dummy, put it back. It's not bears bone, it's Bears bone. I know it sounds the same. If people had been scaring you
about the Coronavirus lately, check out my video covering
the subject, right here, with the main topic,
being Alert Not Anxious. (upbeat music)
Can anyone explain to me what the tree thing was?
This is great, I'm going through some [high pitched sped up peewoop] right now and needed a laugh, it's like getting a hug, thank you ♥️
Ah yes Jesus uploaded a video
Look he used the meme I posted!
5:27 you're also not very good at it