Do All Virgins Think the Same? | Spectrum

especially when like older male virgins get ridiculed like why aren't you like you know having girlfriend or something why aren't you getting married soon or oh oh you're an insult then right [Music] oral sex counts as losing your virginity three two one go i mean i believe that we call it oral sex for a reason because you get the same benefits from somebody's mouth as you would from vaginal intercourse so it is sex i think i agree with that because it's like growing up that's that's what sex is it's right it's the full like the whole thing but that makes sense because you're getting to the same end goal so i'm gonna go here well hearing you all say that it makes me rethink kind of i've just always assumed it's just penetration yeah that's what i truly thought too yeah i mean for me like losing my virginity means like receiving it through my back end if you all know what i'm saying but that's just like my own personal definition of like what virginia to me is i am afraid of having sex three two one go scary you said i'm afraid right yeah okay all right i'm definitely not afraid i i'm actually kind of wait wait you guys are afraid of sex uh i know my path i i i will get married i will have sex with my wife and it's going to be great i have no fear about that whatsoever feel like exposing yourself at your lost form to another human being who i love who you love yeah okay that's that's true who loves me but you're not like at all like even nervous no not at all i mean i mean i'm talking right now so i don't know how i'll be in the room but like if it's a person who i love and we've dated and we know each other and we know how we work communication is key no i would be very comfortable just in general i just feel like i'm going to be extremely awkward so yeah i'm a little scared but i'm not really scared of losing it to the wrong person because no matter what i intend for it to be just this monogamous one-time thing but i am scared of that person perhaps not being the one that i'm supposed to be with forever for the rest of my life i think like a lot of the pressure does come from like porn because it paints a picture in your mind that like like 90 of the time can't be fulfilled or satisfied so if i'm gonna be having sex right she expects like an iphone pro 12 max and all i have is a 12 mini you know like that's that's what some guys think right and like and you feel like you can't live up to those standards because for the most part you probably can't fake i heard you whisper i don't care and i felt the same way like i just i think that the right person wouldn't care maybe we just have too much time to think about these things and we put too much pressure on ourselves for whatever reason to look a certain way or act a certain way and you're going to figure that out when the time is right so why worry why spend your time worrying about that right now so maybe i'm a little bit less scared i'm saving myself for marriage three two one go saving myself for marriage was something i was taught growing up it was something very indoctrinated to my mind so you know at a young age i made that decision i don't want to give that part of me to somebody else that's not going to take that journey with me i think the energy exchange between me and my future wife would just be so powerful that when we do get married i'm just waiting for that moment and i know that in the future years after that moment it'll just be great sex after great sex after great sex just because i've waited for that moment and it's something special to me so um i haven't been in a relationship and i'm not sure how i would act in a relationship so that's why i'm on the just degree line because i would love to save myself for marriage that's what i am aiming for at this point but i also haven't dated anybody or been in any relationship so i don't know how i'm gonna act i don't know if that's gonna be my first love or what type of pressure is going to be on me so that's why i'm not on strongly agree because i'm still a human and i don't know have many men like ask you out on dates or like tried to date you yes but i usually run away because i'm scared like what causes you to run away like what's like um i think my mentality when i was young of just being afraid of men in general just because um getting pregnant where i'm from wasn't abnormal at a young age so i just never wanted that to happen to me just like her i have like zero relationship experience except no one asked me to go out with them another compelling thing for me on saving my virginity marriage is that you know i had an unfortunate occasion on being sexually mishandled by a girl when i was young i didn't know back then it was considered you know not good until later on and it made me very protective maybe very selective um i used to have that mentality of wanting to wait till marriage that was something when i was younger i just for some reason that's what i wanted to do i didn't grow up in a religious home where that was something that was expected at all was just a decision i wanted to make but i think for me it started to evolve into when i feel comfortable when i feel it's someone that i want to have that experience with but i don't i didn't want it to be this like check box that i needed to have filled before i decided to make that decision i enjoy watching porn three two one go okay so porn does release a lot of dopamine so we technically all do enjoy it but it's the after the fact you realize like how how horrible that was you're watching two people have sex through a phone screen in the bathroom it's it's kind of disgusting i'm on like over a thousand days no fap i haven't watched porn over a thousand days so i was exposed to it at like 10 years old it's not natural it's not healthy at all i try not to watch it but when i do watch it i do enjoy it so i have to be honest here but i really have been trying to do more nofap you know but i'm just not to a thousand days or anything like that i mean i believe watching porn is like a private experience i mean you all don't like go out and say hey girl hey y'all i watch porn and stuff i mean i see watching parties like an outlet of like my sexual frustration like it helps me like maintain my virginity because i haven't had sex myself and experienced that it's been almost a tool for me to kind of learn and understand how sex works because i didn't ever have a sex ed class or health or anything like that there are different types of porn rights some are like more romantic and natural i feel like and some are a little bit crazy there's beauty to some that is natural and how it actually would be i don't think it's all bad so do you believe that what you see in the porno videos is actually how people have sex in real life no not in not in most i think about having sex a lot three two one go [Music] for a while i kind of low-key thought something was wrong with me because i never thought about it at all it's not something that ever popped up i always knew i was a little different because i just never thought about it or wanted to think about it i feel the same way actually i thought something was wrong too and then one of my friends was like well maybe you're asexual and yes i thought i told it and i was like is this me yeah and i kind of took offense to it it made me feel like something's wrong with me you know i do think about it a lot um but i thought about it a lot more when i wasn't abstaining from like porn and masturbation i instead of just thinking about it and just either you know going to place it out but by just masturbating obviously or going to find a partner to do it with instead i just sit down crisscross and i literally just meditate and then i focus on channeling that sexual desire that we're all born with and i channel into something that actually would benefit me like making youtube videos working out for me i constantly think more about finding the right partner for me finding the right guy in my relationship i went through like really bad fallouts with like other people i just don't want to feel like i'm just nothing i just want to feel like i'm someone to someone's life outside my family our culture focuses on women's virginity more than men's three two one go i have no idea you me were you again no no i just i just i don't know i feel like men are more praised when they're a virgin i feel like people put more attention on them whenever they are a virgin it's a bigger deal i know growing up we the people who i was taught by put a lot of pressure to keep yourself pure or to you know cover yourself as a woman for the sake of men either we're seen as more promiscuous if we uh do it or we're seen as more prude if we don't yeah i would i would counter that by saying for a guy you're seen as like what's wrong with you like if you're still a virgin whereas if you aren't a virgin it's like okay finally you're you're you're you're on our team now you're normal now so we we almost kind of get like shame like who's that guy you know yeah i'll take a step for you bro i think it's that it's true so women get shamed for sleeping around but men get shamed for not exactly that's messed up you know especially when like older male virgins get ridiculed like why aren't you like you know having girlfriend or something why aren't you getting married soon or oh oh you're or you're an insult then right it's just a different dynamic when it comes to you know being ridiculed as a female virgin compared to like a male version being a virgin is tied to my religion three two one go it is my decision but it is very much tied to my catholicism and what we're taught about the sacred just the holiness of the body and the soul and the value that your virginity is not even just you know from a strictly biological sense but the fact that you're willing to wait and you're willing to put off something that the world is trying to push on you isn't it being a virgin tied to every religion technically they all say like no premarital sex well if you're not religious though then maybe individually it's not tied to your beliefs yes i'm not i'm not religious i don't go to church as much as i should but it's my decision it's not a religion for me the way i see it is is god put us here for reasons and most people don't follow those reasons but the few who do they are rewarded um for for following the path so i almost kind of see it as almost kind of like a superpower that god is like hey man you're on my side you're doing my work you're walking my path could work like i mean it's just like it's gonna be what i mean like sex does create new life right so if if you're abstaining from from that you're not just giving it to just about anybody that is a superpower because it's it's staying within your own self and if you can learn how to control it and channel that sexual energy through different by other means you can put more work into your school into your job passion hobby instead of just having it stay a sex sexual energy right and well and and you know just relying on that answer as it's my religion you know staying faithful to what you believe in anything not just sex is it can be very difficult because we are human you know so human nature yeah just because we have the excuse or reasoning of religion doesn't make it any easier for us we're walking together i'm still saying goodbye but i'm walking the same direction [Music] you

Channel: Jubilee

Views: 2,698,514

Keywords: jubilee, jubilee media, jubilee project, middle ground, spectrum, odd man out, versus 1, embrace empathy, live deeper, love language, blind devotion, do all virgins think the same, virgins, virginity, abstinence, saving yourself for marriage, should you wait to have sex

Id: QMlI778Jhsg

Length: 12min 44sec (764 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 18 2020