Do All Men Think the Same? | Spectrum

cheese nips you asked for it stick around to the end we love talking to you guys enjoy this episode of spectrum and I like the way of the old-school ways work they did work we just messed it up so that's important to you to be like the breadwinner I'm the caretaker of society [Music] [Music] my god this is a good question it's this a normal thing to be worried about like when you're growing up like you're like am i normal you know like I hate this when I was younger I was like wolves as long as it's not but like eventually I was like nah I'm fine I feel like this whole conversation is just like bringing to my awareness how impressionable and like how much of our lives and our masculinity is defined by when we're kids when everybody's like oh you gotta have a big dick you gotta have a big dick and all you see is like only time you see a dick is on porn and it's like 14 inches then it's like Owen Lang doesn't look like ya then of course you're gonna like start thinking about it versus a changed my mind because what he said was it made a lot of sense because I remember the first time I saw a porno and I saw a black guy his penis I was like I'm not like that as I got older I perfected my craft I've never had a man has nothing to do with the penis it's all about it's not the size of the boats the motion of the ocean you just love a woman you embrace each other and it's just I've never had a problem with a woman since then I think for younger guys this is the concern that I'm realizing is like maybe if these discussions were more open about size and whatever and that really over time it all becomes okay and it's fine maybe that would help a lot [Music] I like the way the old-school ways work they did work we just messed it up so that's important to you to like take that leadership role to the tradition to be like the breadwinner I'm the caretaker of society I don't even like seeing it this way once you give the woman the power then you just emasculated yourself I just I want to stick to what's made me happy and my grandparents my parents I'm just gonna stick with it cuz it works it's not perfect but it works be a man I think I don't know I think we're just getting in dangerous territory when we started talking about chivalry at the end day it's like yo baby if you want to pay for this like there is no hierarchy here like if you want to pay for this pay for this and maybe next time I'm like I just got a check so I'll pay for it wasn't this the first meal though you say the first time you want to get one chance to make a first impression what does it matter if it's a girl or a guy it's 2019 and your logic shouldn't be like no disrespect like oh because my grandpa did it and it worked for him then it works for me if she's not gonna date me that second time cuz I didn't pay for her I think I dodged a bullet [Music] be real be real at first when I saw it you know and talking to my friends a lot of family a lot of people in the south they're like these women should have spoke up a long time ago and then I had to like step aside and really process it for myself and be like you know what she didn't feel comfortable and it wasn't it and she wasn't in a society in a place where it was acceptable for her to say anything about it so now that they have the platform and the ability I'm like that's amazing speaker truth what do you tell a child who is accused of rape by a woman has his whole life destroyed and then people just go yeah there's always gonna be people that take advantage of it it's not gonna be perfect we're figuring it out as we go but I think it's done more good than it's done bad I think I think we get to acknowledge the bad though like I feel like worse that's why I'm doing like this thing is like for us to say like oh he did that to me and all of a sudden now we've like vindicated that guys like vilified like there is no chance of like him having a say in the conversation trying to politicians are not good like this mob mentality is bad I agree with that but I don't think that's exclusive to the me to movement but we're using it right now to say oh that person is bad oh [ __ ] that person there's no further conversations being happening if it's a movement to say yes okay this hierarchy we've created of men and women which is a result of the way men are expected to act that women are expected to act let's have those conversations and everything changes and I'll be over there all [ __ ] day [Music] you use a different word yeah yeah I think I just someone agreed that its blown out of proportion because I think what happened with social media is a group of people coin a term and now it's we're all painted by it like we are not in like a post I don't know like rape culture world you know like women are being catcalled every day and so like men are still I think seen or experienced as like a predatory presence to women so like that's why I just don't think it's like overblown I think it's just its new if we were good men there wouldn't be feminists they wouldn't be attacking us they wouldn't be hating us you have a lot of guys who don't want to commit to marriage you have a lot of guys who cat call so yes men have become toxic and once again I have to be I have to be consistent with all my beliefs and all my morals I'm very traditional I see what you're saying but the way you're framing it like this this word moral is kind of we don't know what that is anymore though that's the well it's like it sounds like you're saying like it's men's job to be like the moral compass of society mmm it is I think it's it's everybody's but man if men want to coin themselves as the leaders you have to hold up is a good and the best part of the problem though like that's what I think toxic masculinity or it's putting too much pressure on yourself I mean it's very obvious that we're grappling with like the history and the damage of like what a world completely run by men does to us that's why I think we're talking about toxic masculinity [Music] it's been like harped upon me for years that like showing my emotions were bad and like me trying not to be gay I'm like no like I don't want to show these emotions cuz I'm not gay I can't be gay like I'm not supposed to be gay like the church tells me my dad tells me my mom tells me everybody's telling me I'm not supposed to be gay so like just understanding that at 25 now 26 like I'm over here like okay like oh you're insecure okay that's what that feels like oh you're sad that's what that feels like I can now be aware of those things but to show them to other people right now is like really hard for me I do feel like I'm very verbally like about my emotions with my wife but I wouldn't agree completely because I'm not like that with anyone else I mean I just filled a college class and I was crying about it to my wife but no one else at school saw me cry you know I specifically texted my wife make sure the kids are asleep by the time I come home cuz I just knew I was gonna be like as soon as I stepped through that threshold to my house I was just gonna let go and I didn't want them to see that but like the next day I sat down and I had that conversation with them like hey I just wanna let you guys know you know your dad didn't pass this class and they're like are you okay and of course she's no crying in front of your kids Ben I remember like seeing my dad cry for the first time when his mom died and I remember like imprinting that in my mind as like wow you know like my dad can be upset and that was like a important thing to witness it's reality emotion yeah it's real I was raised by two parents that I never ever saw cry the effect that that had on me was by the time one of them passed away very suddenly I didn't really seem to be affected at all so I've actually had to do a lot of therapy on this thing about masculinity not being able to show your emotions is very bad it puts us backwards in society and and we need to be thinking about how to tap into our emotions in a healthy way together yeah we love having this type of dialog I'm grateful because as a girl I'd love to know what you guys are thinking you guys are mysteries to me honestly make sure you like subscribe and follow us on Instagram yes it's a grub we'll see you next time [Music]

Channel: Jubilee

Views: 6,775,421

Rating: 4.9111762 out of 5

Keywords: jubilee, jubilee media, jubilee project, live deeper, blind devotion, love language, middle ground, spectrum, jubilee spectrum, what do men think, do all men think the same, toxic masculinity, feminism, chivalry, what do men want, do all men agree, masculinity, masculine man, men emotions, men leadership, women leadership, gender roles, head of household, men provider, metoo, men stereotypes, male stereotypes

Id: w_5F4rWtemw

Length: 10min 19sec (619 seconds)

Published: Sun Apr 14 2019