Difficult & Toxic Women

hi i'm coach cory wayne and this is my video coaching newsletter and the topic of today's newsletter is going to be difficult and toxic women well i've got an email here this is from a guy he says he's been through my audiobook the how to be a three percent man audiobook he's been through it twice and so he wrote in saying hey how do i save things going sideways with my dream woman so obviously he's pretty new not obviously hasn't read the book 10 to 15 times like he should how to be a three percent man and if you're new relatively new maybe this is the first video of mine you've seen you can read my book how to be a three percent man as well as my second book mastering yourself by going to my website that's understandingrelationships.com and that's relationships with an s and if you just subscribe to the email newsletter you'll get a link and you can start reading right now and if you want to get a hardcover paperback obviously you can get them on amazon.com and also you can get the audiobook so obviously this guy's making some mistakes here but because we all tend to project our fantasy of what we want on to the other person especially somebody's new to my work and is trying to learn the fundamentals and trying to apply these things and get good with it we oftentimes look past a lot of red flags that are there because we really like the person because let's face it you every day of our lives we're not meeting a new best friend every day of our lives we're not meeting the ultimate woman i mean it if you're watching this and you're like most human beings it's not very often that you find guys that you want to hang out with and you really enjoy hanging out with and you have similar goals and similar values it's the same thing with women i mean you want a woman obviously you find really attractive who finds you attractive who you have similar goals similar values with and you genuinely enjoy hanging out with her and the thing is is like when you're single you want to meet somebody and when you meet somebody that seems really good at first and you're really attractive you start having good sex and things are going well you get into la la land and your your emotions start to override your judgment and it's only when things go sideways it's only when you get burned it's only when you you get your heart broken that you start to go maybe the approach i've been taking is not really the right approach and that's often when things go sideways is when people first come to my work and so this is a good email because obviously the guy yeah he's making mistakes but he's got a woman here that's exhibiting a lot of toxic and manipulative qualities that really he shouldn't be putting her so much on a pedestal so not only was she started displaying red flags he started doing things that were wrong and just made things worse and so you know the goal here by going through this email is to help point out some things that you want to be aware of so you can spot these kind of behaviors before you're several months down the road and you're all goo gaga and thinking this is the ultimate woman when in reality you should have just hooked up with her once or twice and moved on and i know it's hard because again we're not going to connect and jive with every single woman that we meet that's cute and attractive and has a nice body that's just reality anything worth having in life it's like it seems to come after a long time of trial and error and lots of things don't work out same thing with career you might have to go through several jobs you might have to try several different careers before you find something you really truly love and enjoy and the longer you live and the longer you're around for you're gonna recognize that that's gonna evolve over time that's a lot of a lot of the stuff that i talk about in my second book mastering yourself as i go i i go through my my path and my own career and all the ups and downs and the turns and the unexpected things that came along and passions and hobbies that eventually turned into businesses and successful careers for me because the only thing that's constant in life is change life is change growth is optional so i got a quote that i wrote in this talk when they were gonna go through this dude's email and the quote says human beings make buying decisions and romantic decisions based upon emotion and they use logic and reason to justify their choices quality people are easy going easy to be with easy to get along with easy to communicate with and flexible it's really super important that you find somebody who is flexible and that's one thing i noticed about this guy's email is this woman is not very flexible she obviously sounds like she's got a few daddy issues and she's kind of pissed off at men and she's used to punishing people when she doesn't get her way and it's next to impossible to have a healthy relationship with somebody that exhibits those qualities and it's not your job to fix somebody or mold them into what you want i mean part of having an abundance mentality is saying yeah she's great or she's got a lot of qualities that i like but i can [ __ ] do better with enough time enough repetition and taking care of myself eventually i'll come across somebody better sometimes in life you just gotta cut people loose not only when it comes to romantic life but also employers and friends and sometimes you with family members if you got toxic family members as tony robbins says love your family but choose your peers you want people to add value to your life low quality people are demanding difficult manipulative inflexible passive aggressive and are perpetually focused on sandbagging your happiness and success good people build you up while toxic people tear you down and this is really super important and what you're gonna you know so as i'm going through the email i want you to be on the lookout for this if you have a low opinion of yourself then you'll attract toxic people who justify your beliefs if you have a high opinion of yourself then you simply won't tolerate toxic or abusive people and will actually repel them instead the best thing you can do for yourself and your self-esteem is to focus on getting to a blissful and happy place first then you will attract people into your life who match and mirror your positive perception versus being unhappy and trying to attract people who make you happy you can attract happy people who add value to your life without being happy first the most important relationship you will ever have in life is the relationship that you have with yourself you got to get to a place where you love and you value and you appreciate yourself you take care of yourself you work out you eat healthy and you want to be the best you for you and attracting a good quality woman attracting good quality friends attracting good quality jobs is a side benefit and side effect of being an awesome human being because let's face it the world is full of people who totally [ __ ] suck and remember the rules no drama allowed oh by the way these mugs if you haven't seen these before you can get these at teespring t-e-e-s-p-r-i-n-g.com or you can google corey wayne or google teespring.com coach corey wayne if you're so inclined there's uh let's see we got three percent club let's see what else come on man those are on there got shirts t-shirts got nice little baseball caps here pretty cool what do you think what i like about these are really really well made again those are available at teespring as well coach corey wayne so let's go through his email he says hi coach i read your book three times and i listened to your audiobook two times so he's about five times in but keep in mind he's like probably hasn't applied what he's learned with a lot of women yet and so this is his first one and obviously he really likes this girl because he took time to write this detailed email he says i am still working on it well 10 to 15 times dude because the other thing that three percent man is going to really help you do it's really super important that you learn the fundamentals and why i say read it 10 to 15 times because it teaches you a new way to think it teaches you a new mindset a way to look at things and what's great about applying what's in the book is it brings out the best and the best right away and it brings out the worst and the worst right away so you can get rid of them and he just missed the signs of this woman just not really a great great prospect he says i met this girl on bumble and we dated five times in a month she had a really high level of traction until our last date two and a half weeks ago we slept together on the second date and as i talk about my book the average woman is going to sleep with you by the second or third date usually that's provided you're following everything the book and she's obviously really into you because if you want it to be easy and effortless think about it you want a woman's like [ __ ] yeah i'd love to go out with you i'd love to have a daily that'd be great oh let's definitely get together think about it when you call your best friend to get there he's like yeah let's do it man that'd be great and then you meet a girl you really like and she's like i don't know i gotta check my schedule it's uh just it's difficult things are so crazy right now things are crazy in my life so busy but she's really saying i really don't want to go out with you please don't make me go out with you why would you want to spend time with somebody that's like that so he says we exchanged texts three to four times the day following our last date during this date she first said that she was going to share something with me and be vulnerable she can very easily let go of people in her life what do you think that means she can very easily let go of people in her life that's a threat that's a subtle threat i'll cut you [ __ ] loose [ __ ] if you don't treat me the way i don't be treated if you don't you don't act the way i expect you to act you're [ __ ] out of here probably really hot probably has lots of dudes in her life at this point and she's basically saying you better get in line remember no drama allowed a little later she said that she understood that i was busy but that she wasn't happy seeing each other only once a week and not hearing from me in between so she's getting really upset about that and she's asked about it multiple times as i've talked about many times over the years in videos then maybe once a week you text her out of the blue or you send her an email or you call her unexpectedly or you shoot her an email hey hope you're having a great day just want to let you know i was thinking about you and i can't wait to see you friday night talk to you later something simple like that if she's really asked for it and also when she says she's not happy seeing each other once because the other thing is as i talk about in the book is as the weeks go by especially after you start sleeping together most women normal happy healthy flexible women that have good relationships with mom and good relationships with their dad and they love their dad they consider dad to be their rock they're gonna have an easygoing flexible attitude they're happy they don't take [ __ ] personally their smile and they joke around a lot they just don't take themselves their life too seriously they don't get butt hurt over every little joke or potential sl perceived slight women that don't have a good relationship with their father or their father wasn't involved in their life and there's no grandfather or uncle there's no male influence they could learn healthy interaction with men and she's not going to trust men and therefore she's going to presuppose that you're doing something to [ __ ] her over or you're eventually going to [ __ ] her over because you're just like all other guys when you hear a woman say all guys are the same all men have pee brains when you hear [ __ ] like that the hairs on the back of your neck should be [ __ ] standing up because that is danger will robinson danger eject eject eject gotta pay attention to these things just because she's hot and good in bed doesn't mean she's a good girlfriend he says to which i rep you know this is so she's go let's go back a little bit she says she understood that i was busy but that she wasn't happy seeing each other only once a week and not hearing from me in between to which i replied that i was just busy and that i will start making an effort to reach out to her more so when she brings that up she's like you know what well let's get together i'll make it up to you and then you set a date on the spot because basically she's communicating she'd like to see you more but the way she goes about it she goes about in a mean-spirited manipulative way which you'll see here in a second she texted me two days later just talking about a video and i tried setting up a date she offered sunday or monday and i told her to bring a bottle of wine and come to my place so we can cook dinner on sunday she refused and said it was my turn to go to her side of town so the idea is if she's got a better idea or something more fun to do or exciting awesome i like women that actually suggest fun things to do that's really cool but she just refused and says nope it's your turn to come here does that sound like a flexible woman to you does that sound like something that's easy to get along with and it's just happy to spend time with you or does that sound like a chick that's already [ __ ] pissed off at you and is trying to punish you passive aggressively i thought it was a test so i replied in a funny way saying that all she has to do is to bring your sexy self to my place so we can cook dinner and have a nice time remember you want some with a good attitude that's going to joke and laugh and she'll she'll come over anyways what did she actually do she negatively responded and said we might have to cancel overall oh you're not gonna do what i want [ __ ] you i'd say do you think she had a good relationship with her dad do you think she loves her dad knows how to talk to men trusts men sounds like a chick that's kind of jaded and pissed off at men to me and she's going to put you in her place she negatively responded we might have to cancel overall to which i replied that if she can't make it we'll have to do it some other time to which she replied let's just make it some other time sounds pretty excited to get together doesn't she i don't think so [ __ ] that [ __ ] he says she used to text me at least once every two days but five days have gone by and i hadn't heard from her remember the whole purpose is to bring out the best and the best right away and the worst and the worst so we're a few weeks in they're already sleeping together and now she's just cancelling dates to say all right [ __ ] you won't do what i want up yours you don't get any [ __ ] this week difficult inflexible passive aggressive [ __ ] off behavior remember so when you tell a woman something you got to stick to it and so when i mean she just canceled a date just because she's pissed off you roughed up her ego and she punished you by not letting you see her when the reality is you are going to give her the greatest gift you can give anybody which is the gift of your time which is spending time with her and she's like ah [ __ ] off you can't see me then right there for me if this was me and she pulled that crap i would have never called her again i would have never made any effort because if you tell a woman to get in touch when her schedule frees up and she wants to see you because it's an attitude adjustment in other words we're negotiating here i want to get together and see you and she's like oh [ __ ] it i'm canceling a date because you won't come to me why would i want to go to go to that maybe the date after that i'll go to her side of town but i want to see one that's flexible flexibility is also submissiveness and she don't sound very flexible and she certainly don't sound very submissive so five days go by did he and this is where he starts to go off the rails he's not really following the book because he's not an abundance mentality because he's thirsty he really likes this girl and he just completely ignored what should have been a major red flag and potentially totally disqualifying behavior because if you tell her hey well all right well just get in touch when you want to get together then or just get in touch when your schedule frees up because you want an attitude adjustment you're like she's too difficult she's fussy she canceled a date it's like i was gonna take her out i'm gonna make dinner and she's basically blowing me off he's like i'd rather go spend my time with somebody else and so he does the opposite he's not congruent with his words so he says i called her trying to set up a date she replied she was busy and would get back to me but her voice seemed sad so i called her back in the evening asking her if everything is all right never [ __ ] call a woman and ask her is everything okay that communicates you're a [ __ ] beta male and you don't understand women and you have no idea what's going on five days go by you hadn't heard from her she canceled a date you try to set another one and she's like nope again she's this is what she learned in her family all right [ __ ] you're gonna get it imagine being married a woman likes us to having kids and you didn't take out the garbage when you were supposed to you didn't get the tires replaced on her car like she had asked a few weeks before you ain't gonna be getting no [ __ ] for months no bueno she replied she just had an mri and some medical tests that's all let's get together and talk about i want to hear about it i call her the following day to see if everything was all right to which she said yes i then told her to get in touch when her schedule is open because i'd like to take her out she said she would you got to give women the opportunity to do what they say they're going to do again because you're also wanting to see is she choosing me is she making an effort to get together is she easy to get together with or is she a [ __ ] pain in the ass and so far all i see is her being a pain in the ass and punishing you because you roughed up her [ __ ] ego i called her four days later to ask her out but she said she'll call me back remember you he just told her for the second time when her schedule's open to get in touch and he wasn't congruent with that so now he's displaying more beta male behavior call her four days later ask her out but she said she'll call me back she called me back the next day but her voice sounded angry oh she's angry i asked her out and she said she was free on thursday but i said i had a big presentation on friday so we better if we went on on friday or saturday or sunday so i could focus on her she green to sunday seems like everything's going good now right sunday afternoon she sent me this message hey hope you're having a great weekend i wanted to reach out to let you know what has been on my mind i've been enjoying getting to know you but i don't feel right about continuing to move forward i'm going to follow my thoughts and cancel today's plans i appreciate i appreciate the effort and the time we have spent together i wish you all the best his problem is he never was congruent with his words and he started acting like a [ __ ] beta male and over pursuing and then she's just basically blowing him off and making him feel like it was all his fault when the reality is she had his [ __ ] [ __ ] attitude and he continues to make mistakes he says i call her asking her what's going on and what was on her mind and again she said she felt we were not moving forward there's no friendship or romanticism we only see each other during the evenings and go for dinner and then hang out at my place and we do the same dates always well obviously and i talk about that in three in my book three percent man because you should should do different things you want to be mysterious and unpredictable but notice how she's trying to blame everything on you like it's all your fault and you did all the [ __ ] up and she's just the most perfect awesome woman in the world you just totally screwed it up with her and that's that's just [ __ ] behavior that's narcissistic type of behavior we only see each other during remember he's tried several occasions to make dates with her and she's cancelled twice and blown them off like he's dirt and then she has the she's gaslighting his ass by saying that we only see each other during the evenings then we go to dinner and hang at my place same dates always she feels like i don't feel the need to get in touch now keep in mind see see how dishonest that is she feels like i don't feel the need to get in touch even though he's called her three or four times and she hasn't reached out to him at all he's doing all the pursuing at this point and yet she says you're not getting in touch enough totally gaslighting his ass [ __ ] her dude i i said that based on my previous relationships now he's going into logic and reason i said that based on my previous relationships i started giving more space in my relationships that she was the first girl that actually wants the opposite and then i would be willing to work on our relationships like dude you went on five dates you don't have a relationship you hooked up a couple times part of the problem you don't know the material and you haven't you don't have any other women in your life that you're practicing on i said i appreciate her sharing her thoughts and making things more clear we agreed to talk again during the week what should i do or say i really like this girl and i admit i haven't been 100 myself and tried to sometimes act more busy than i am dude you shouldn't do anything she has to earn you as well bro and she ain't doing [ __ ] to earn your ass she's doing everything she can to make it feel like the relationship didn't go anywhere because it's all your fault when in reality she's the [ __ ] that canceled your day at the last minute for no reason twice and then she has the gall to tell you you didn't contact her enough when you had contacted her three or four times over the course of a couple weeks and each time oh i'm busy i just don't have time passive aggressive narcissistic gaslighting [ __ ] behavior so this is what our family's like they manipulate each other they punish each other when they don't get their way and on top of that they're gonna make you feel like it was all your fault i mean yeah i pointed out the things were you [ __ ] up but she's just a [ __ ] turd blossom my friend it's just the way it is i also try to not always be available to create more attraction and i have to admit i became a little complacent at the third date because she had a high level of attraction well the reality is dude she she weeded herself out you brought out the worst and the worst she's a low quality prospect no bueno she [ __ ] up what i would do from this point forward is nothing if she reaches out invite her to your place to make dinner together hang out have fun hook up if she won't come to your place then just say all right well just i you should go check out seven principles to get an ex back which is an article i did several years ago and follow those principles because you're that's the situation that you're in at this point you want to see somebody that's flexible and you're willing to give her another chance to earn another opportunity with you but she's got to demonstrate flexibility and a good attitude by being excited to come over and spend time with you not breaking your balls and making you feel like [ __ ] so she can stroke her ego and then just toss you aside because you roughed up her ego so if if she comes over the next three dates in a row and you hang out you have fun and you hook up great then you can take her out and you can pick her up but you got to let her do all the calling texting and pursuing from this point at least for the next three dates and at this point with her attitude and the way things have gone i would say it's just you know you're done you're done with this she had her chance and she [ __ ] it up and it is what it is man it's like the part of the problem is is that you projected your high level of attraction on to her and demonstrated some weakness and you didn't have any other options and i mean at the end of the day you're gonna [ __ ] up when you're learning and that's okay so don't beat yourself up over this girl it's just simply ain't [ __ ] worth it she's a low quality prospect and you should look this and say these things are actually working where you went wrong is you started ignoring the red flags and then when she started demonstrating the bad behavior you're like you just [ __ ] tossed my book right out the [ __ ] window and went went into over pursuit mode which caused her attraction to drop even more and on top of that for all your troubles she makes you feel like it was all your fault when the reality is you're the guy calling her trying to set dates and she's the one jerking you around she's the one canceling dates for no other reason then she's pissed off at you and she's going to teach you a lesson you don't date women like this these are the kind of women you [ __ ] a few times and then you blow off and you keep on moving because they're just not worth your time now it's totally possible that her attitude changes when you haven't talked in a few weeks and she reaches out but again she's got to come to you for the next three dates in a row and if she's willing to do that and you hang out and you have fun and you hook up all three dates in a row at your place making dinner together if she starts complaining that you don't do anything else just say hey you know quite frankly i'm giving you another shot here i didn't i we made two dates and you canceled them for no other reason then you were pissed off at me and you're trying to punish me and that's manipulative it's gaslighting me that's passive aggressive behavior and i don't appreciate that and that [ __ ] don't work for me i like you we have good sexual chemistry we have fun together but i'm just not down with that you gotta be nice to me i like nice girls i want a girl that i can take home to mom not a girl i gotta hide from um i wanna bring home a girl my mom's gonna go that chick's a [ __ ] [ __ ] what do you do with her [ __ ] kick her to the curb i want to take a girl home and my arm go oh i love her when are you gonna put a ring on that finger that's what i want to see that's the kind of girl you want and she's displayed zero zero things zero qualities that communicate that she's a good catch definitely something to think about but dude you're making progress you hooked up with a hot girl you learn a few lessons the hard way obviously just keep moving forward but again you've got to have flexibility you got to have a woman with a good attitude all the things i talked about in the beginning of the video so i mean the reality is if you take a step back and look at it from a 50 000 foot level it's like you just kind of saved yourself a whole hell of a lot of trouble and you found out right away that she's just even though she might be hot she ain't a good quality prospect and you should be moving on and don't beat yourself up because quite frankly she ain't [ __ ] worth it so if you've got a situation that you're in whether it's personal or professional and you'd like to get my help you can go to my website click the products tab top your screen on any page of my website understandingrelationships.com and you can book a coaching session with yours truly and until then remember no drama allowed again teespring.com if you're interested in these mugs got several other kinds just go coach corey wayne teespring.com and you will find them and until then i will talk to you soon [Music]

Channel: Coach Corey Wayne

Views: 262,704

Rating: 4.8287482 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: FzSTYZNQuTc

Length: 30min 44sec (1844 seconds)

Published: Mon Mar 25 2019