Dev Patel Explains Dirty Jokes To Dame Judi Dench | Heartwarming Moments | The Graham Norton Show

hello hi what's your name uh James James lovely James and what do you do uh I'm a civil servant a civil servant lovely in London here uh yes in London and are you from the London area uh no I live in London but I'm originally from um suffk oh oh yeah it's a suffk massive is he mentioned in the song probably yeah what what school did you go to um so I went to brandeston oh sweet yeah I went to Prim Primary School yeah okay so we did we know each other yeah did we I'm not wearing my glasses I'm not wearing my glasses what you say James hello yeah James yes me that's the one what the [ __ ] do you do he my best mate growing up you kiding my best growing up and now you're talking to him on a Monas I'm not I'm not wearing my specs and he's like oh my God can we not flip him and just get him out here do you have a story or well yeah I did but it's up please let it be about Ed it is about Ed okay tell tell your story then we'll flip you and then with you okay tell you tell the story tell the story Okay cool so um yeah as Ed was saying this is so Random mate this I know it's really weird um yeah when we were younger Ed used to come around to my house and yeah like you're saying we used to be quite good mates um and I remember one time um one time he was coming around for tea um and I forgotten to tell mom who was a vegetarian um at that point anyway and um so mom cooked I think sausage and mash for tea um and Ed said you know after the meal these are the best hostages I've ever tasted you know where did you get them from and Mom had to lie cuz she had no clue um and so yeah 16 years later I'm really sorry first time I ever had meet and also the first time I ever watched The Simpsons episode was around your house yeah that's right okay well done you we're going to flip you now and then we can be reunited backstage okay put on the okay okay okay there he goes bring him up bring him up he wants to meet him this I feel like Sila black on surprise surprise there he is come on will you just will you just he randomly know you know have a seat have a seat have a seat [Applause] D I thought we'd seen you play Everything But first which mostly [ __ ] but yes my first witch but you I hear you went through a phase you got offered a lot of witches when I was 40 when I turned 40 I was offered three witches in one year and it was sending me a signal I felt about Hollywood and how they felt about people turning 40 so I felt uh bad and I and it made me sort of I had a like a little my back up you know and so no I didn't want to play them so A lot's changed in the last 5 years for you oh good Mar good you right ni smell I did have a sir encounter only a few weeks ago in Los Angeles a rather fancy in fact extremely fancy restaurant well tell them what it is cuz they'll know um it was the uh the the the Tower bar uh sun tower see no no guys are cool no no say say say it again go the Tower bar oh man the tower bar damn I can't even get in there keep going you keep going keep going okay well now the tow bar is a spot I I got a feeling this isn't going to work out um so we had four of us were seated at a table about 15 minutes later into the restaurant walks Sir Paul McCartney wow good now Paul and I have a very slender relationship but it's lasted decades I I first encountered him in 1964 no when his girlfriend Jane Asher then told him that I loved Aston Martins I was driving a bat at Old Ford but Aston Martins were my dream car she told him this and one night we knew he was seeing the show there was a knock on my door and I said yeah come in I'm there in my underwear you know like as usual well as you greet people normally I hang around like that just in the H come in I'm in my pants I'm ready for you come in and the door opened standing there was Paul McCartney who I had never met before and this was 1964 and uh he said Jane says that you like ason Martins here drive this wow and he tossed a bunch of keys over and it wasn't a it was his amazing anyway do you want to hear the restaurant let's keep going keep going we're in we're in the fanciest restaurant in La we're now in the tower bar to bar bar W go on it's it's a legend I am feeling less and less good about keep going keep going you're in there so Paul McCartney's come in you've known him 60s and uh uh he sees me and comes over and uh I stand up and say hi and we have a big hug in the restaurant and I'm very much aware that there's all the tables are full and this kind of thing and we talk for five or 6 minutes and he goes and sits down 5 minutes go by and into the restaurant walks sir Ringo Star I swear to you I'm I'm not making this they together they were they were oh they were at the same table they were at the same T um well uh we we at the tower man I am expecting so many free meals and um we finish early and I get up to go and Paul stands up to say goodbye and we have a hug and as we have a hug he says into my ear do you know Ringo I said yeah of course I've never met him but I'm he said oh boy Ringo come on come over here hang on a minute he said sir Ringo Sir Patrick Sir Paul hey we've got the Knights of the Roundtable you got that you I think a lot of actors when they get roles like this they have to say oh yeah no it's a thrill but for you it this is genuine because you post these incredibly sweet pictures uh this is you as a young boy I mean you are playing with yourself so that is so sweet and then this one this is amazing you were I think back in your house and you found this yeah and so that was genuinely yours that was my first ever Spider-Man costume yeah which my lovely mom who's here tonight kept for me and now were you one of those kids who like wor to funerals and weddings and things I was I slept in that thing that thing still stinks today no washes that can make that thing wearable all right am I right in thinking that the Spider-Man outfit is as it as we knew it is gone now no well yes yes it is basically spoiler essentially in this film have a new suit which Tony Stark gave me it's an upgrade and uh it's too Fantastical to exist in real life so essentially there it is that's the first time I've seen it wow it looks great are you glad you came tonight so much looks nice got is that metal I don't know Gram okay I don't know so essentially I have to wear essentially pajamas I wear these pajamas with balls on them that light up and it's super cool it's not and uh you know I'm on set with the Avengers who are wearing costumes that you know cost hundreds of thousands of dollars made by the best seamstresses you can imagine and I'm there in a suit made by Marks and Spencers you know it's just it's Mar Spencers is an English of the highest quality all absolutely Autograph Collection hello seriously this I find unbelievable that Jason when you were filming with Jennifer you did not spot her jewelry in this scene you didn't I know who here knows what that is Oly Ms is it a CO green no I'm actually mean I honestly yeah is it really that's what that is co no one here knew that right so multi no one here knew that did anyone know that that's a good answer did anyone during the day yes they did well n everyone else kept saying that's a really nice necklace that's gorgeous and sedus of course walks right up to me and he goes is that a [ __ ] ring and I said really well you've just given me some insight into your sweet personal life yeah Ollie knew what it was too a so embarrassed right now oh poor OE yeah I know why'd you do this to me every time I'm sorry I guess no one told you like is going to be this way we we've been here since 5:00 rehearsal has this been you guys have been rehearsed that's adorable that was really good do that again so I guess no one told you life is going to going to be this way I'm going to get the next one I will get the next one we do this we get it so so actually so here's the game now I'm not going to say it again but if anyone else wants to feed it into conversation don't let me down you did really good so far don't spoil it what is the line again oh uh no one ever told you life's going to be I look at look at me I'm trying to remember it I told you told life was going to be this way you guys are good to the point where it may become annoying I can do this all night I'm going to wear Dame Judy Dench out on that on does Matthew know that he plays a special part in your life uh no probably not please I play a special part in your life yeah can't wait to hear this tell us well I mean I my wife and I sleep with you almost every night yes yes yes and every night there's a an app called C and I have insomnia and he has the most beautiful voice and I turn it on and I just hear well hello everybody it's me Matthew MCC I'm going to tell you a bed time story and I just do this oh honestly God truth about it is my wife was from Argentina she always goes like you have the man talking again the man is talking in the bed again M it's great though I love this it cost me 80 bucks well it was well worth it have you no no we've got a little because I just thought it was you reading but you are actually putting people to bed this is this is Matthew mcon on the app tonight I hope to send you off to Peaceful dreams with that very thing in mind so let your eyes close and your breath fall soft and slow as we begin our story which just might rekindle that sense of wonder oh wake up wake up I am decisive but I can change my mind beautiful things go actually I'm wrong you know I'm wrong it is a lot of the times shockingly well you know this thing about trans now always people always say you mustn't talk about trans well [ __ ] that I'm going to talk about it I was very keen on grammar and so when people started talking about pronouns and that they wanted them and not he she I thought what the [ __ ] what they talking about it it's clear it's grammar it's the structure of language but I met a wonderful actress in Australia Zoe toist you know I mean she's brilliant actress and she's trans and I she had a discussion with me about it and she said what does it matter to you if you can make somebody Happy by calling them they instead of he or she why why not do it and I thought that's right it doesn't matter about grammar if you can make someone happy and give them a sense of themselves then do it absolutely and so I'm now somebody who uses they and all the rest of it what whatever they want me to say yes I'll say it because you know those Mis connection columns in the thing and you we love reading them but you assume nothing ever comes of those misconnection columns Coleman dingo until you're me and you're in Berkeley California in 2005 and you're minding your business going into a Walgreens which is like a boots here so I'm going in there because it's a Sunday night I'm just I'm I live in New York I'm just going there uh in Berkeley to get a mask for the night you know facial mask so I'm walking in and I see someone walking out has beautiful hair down to here lip piercing beautiful beautiful I see this guy and we look at each other I'm like oh my God and I'm on the phone and I come outside and we look at each other and he's talking to this young woman and she seems to be angry about something so it's a lot of like you know and he keeps looking at me and she's all and I'm like what's going on and so I'm like let me get off the phone let me I'm going to get off the phone I get off the phone they they walk off down the street but he keeps looking back but he and I wave but he just keeps going and then I'm just dumbfounded and I end up in a blockbuster you know across the street you know and I don't even don't even know what I'm doing but I decided to look at my watch and it was 8:03 and I came back outside and I thought is he here and I thought well maybe I'll come back next Sunday and he'll be here I'm That Kind of hopeless romantic so anyway cut to three days later I'm trying to buy a used computer and I was uh I was just scanning Craigslist they have Craigslist over here right yeah I was scanning Craigslist right so I thought maybe I'll Place One of Those misconnections ads I wonder if they work because I would read them on the subway I go to page two of them as I'm reading and I see saw you outside of Walgreens Berkeley he placed an ad for Me 2 hours before come on bro I jumped up I was like are you kidding me that's me he described me with my fa Hawk it was 2005 and I was like get out of here so we met up three days later we had our first date I was trying to be a good boy and go home he said can you stay over I said sure but let's just cuddle we cuddled I thought he was sleep 4:00 in the morning I couldn't sleep and I said I think I love you and you're about to changed my life and we've been together for almost 19 years are you the most that amazing yeah I know I know right what is that oh my God you are like the most magical creature on the planet that is it is amazing and it really happened how amazing it really happened but also that I mean I think I'm somebody who just believes that magic happened yeah I really do believe that and so I feel like oh if I want this thing it'll happen very good very good see oh oh oh and I've I've been waiting for a moment to wear this tonight was the night we bought it today and you know they don't come in men's sizes they actually do they're available at any decent store in men now have you got obviously you're a fan of the One Direction I can see but has One Direction met Ian mckel and is I Mel One Direction before I thought he'd have a bigger beard but didn't you come close to meeting in New Zealand we were yeah we were on tour in um New Zealand and they were filming yes and you were meant to come and see us filming the day after your final concert so I thought I'd go and have a look at them see who they are very enjoyable thank you thank you it was a very small he's a wizard so I think he wins it was a very small show and it was just you no no fireworks or anything but and quite a small theater do you remember C back in the day anyway they didn't turn up the next day to visit us because why I don't know why what what had happened on your last night um I think we I don't know I don't think I mean maybe we're on the water tonight though so we're safe yeah your your plane might have been moved early or something yeah now Ian because I saw the pictures of of you all at the premere on Monday night oh yes and I mean it's been part of your life for n on for years now so it must was that an emotional night or the are the emotions happened already yeah well it's over you know not not we've not been working on the Hobbit for some time now but I it was very moving I mean you go and these kids have been sleeping out all night well you know about this but the the the the get in we did we're all homeless the these uh people were not born when we started making uh Lord of the Rings you know so it's it's a big part of their lives and that's that's very very sweet isn't it and able to see all six movies now and show them to their kids that's what's nice we've made Classics that's lovely and and also it will take nearly a day to watch it it can be done have you have you done it yeah I think I did it I was off school ill once I think I did them with my friend I think we watched them all we might have watched one or two three or you're amazing right answer so are you you said before yes of course I'm a huge fan okay okay okay if I if I if I had to force you Julie if I to force you Julie what would you say is your favorite 50 Cent record of all time okay well love the first album get rich yeah get rich die trying good absolutely loved Massacre yeah yeah we all did my favorite is IND the club oh yes yeah go short on a oh no no wait she knows it she know okay I've got to I've got to be he thought she didn't know yeah he didn't know did he so it's go shorty it's your birthday we're going to your birthday yeah very good you didn't know this K I didn't know you knew it I see all right I got you know shot nine times but it was one time so and I just didn't see the person coming or I would have avoided it at yes you you would you know this happened and and I was trying to write a song conceptually that that would define more of who I am so I wrote nine shots and just picked nine painful moments that I experienced in my life and used the the shot as a metaphor but the nine where were you shot where like in front of my grandmother's house but where where on your body that's I get in the doctor's office isn't it I got in most of them in the legs I got hit my hand and I got hit in the face so like a fragment portion of it is in my tongue so it kind of changed the way I speak a little bit like and you're wrapping as well what is it still in your tongue can you see it yeah it's great for oral sex is it right okay I didn't hear that to know make sure you keep that b in the let me just make a note of that uh yeah I'm a better man now but is it like a lum can you see it yeah let's have a feel 50 I wash my hands make old sex and then you going to put your finger in my mouth H oh no ST oh I better not add you go have a look have a look see if you can buy have a I need a napkin I need a napin anyone got a tissue a tissue a clean one oh look these ladies these ladies thank you very look they're in the look they're still look hermetically sealed thank you very much there they go love wow like how was you prepared did someone tell you to come with this how did that happen what's the odds of that you'd be sitting in the front row with this yeah who does this kind of stuff right it only happens on this program honestly oh I can feel it you got to give back now she's going to sell those on eBay there we go yeah eBay tonight yeah wait till tomorrow night after the show they'll be worth a lot yeah hey here's the thing H now are you familiar Lady Gaga with the East Enders no don't say yes daring if you're not you're not and I don't blame you I am and I actually am a very big fan of yours I just don't watch a lot of television no I don't watch any but you you are you are so fabulously dressed and I'm I'm I'm very honored to be seated next to you well you see I had to do it because I have a friend I'm staying with a couple of boys tonight yes and he he loves you no yeah no what did you ask me first I understood that she speaks my language yes so oh you have to avoid things sometimes don't you darling you have to be very good at getting around questions that you don't want to answer oh I understand question do shall I take your chair no you don't believe I'm 3 months and three years of 90 do you you're [Applause] not are you really wow I just want to drink from your cup I want to know I want to know what those jeans are sound I am quite healthy you're all right anyway these chaps you he I mean mad he really thinks you're something and the idea of you and me together was to him wonderful like all those mad people who do those things when you're doing your watch it you know what I and of course Reese you were part of the friends family literally family yes your sister yes yes I I got it was such a privilege I got to play her sister when I was a that's 23 years old yeah and what what's so odd is that you were saying in an interview somewhere that you hadn't acted in front of an audience before right and I never have since we did we broke it really we broke her like the Instagram she broke the Instagram and then she she also broke broke me broke her will to do live it was just terrifying it was terrifying having to say jokes and I would always look at Jen and go this I'm messing up and but didn't it get more like once you were out there for a bit didn't it start to become more fun no oh but this is all right is that these are friendly people this is different and I get to be myself and just watch you drink wine which is just delightful cheers by the way wine with ice is a very I like that well because it makes the sound of a cocktail it does why don't why don't you just then have a cocktail I like wine oh but with the sound of a cocktail I get it yeah hav we seen more of you two together it's a pairing it really is it's a match made in heaven oh now um Jackie Chan yes Jackie Chan uh yes I haven't done that once I'm very I'm sitting on my hands I'm going Jackie Chan I'm not doing that because is it true that everyone just goes Jackie Chan yeah I really hate that you know whenever I go you know in Europe and America especially the father with children look yeah why why nobody say robero what oh that's a Robert Dio wow dusting Hoffman Jack one day one day I hope people wow that's a Jackie Chen of course with the film comes your own little figure yeah yeah and I actually I actually have they've there you go they actually done one of you as well which is they so there say what now a yeah oh oh quite good it's quite good and I'm told that i i s of s I've been told you have like a a collection of versions of you that have been made and brought as gifts is that there are some other toys of me at home yeah right special room where I go to play with myself right yes the microphone and everything I know there was a lot of detail fully accessorized actually I'm nearly yeah it's it's done very well yeah good I'm glad I really I worked very hard on it so I'm glad you like it no I'm very very impressed actually have something for you also a gift for me the admin people really just wait there just two seconds okay did you bring Graham anything we brought this together who is that thank you so much wow that's amazing nice oh my God so good about be part of the game I look younger here though don't I look younger I look about 47 it's mostly the size of the feet that's a genius do I get to keep this absolutely okay show's over bye the 14 Valentine's Day Olivia Coleman what will you be doing on Valentine's Day who uh is this about the film yes the I'll be watching a film your film comes out on February the 14th no I know oh my God like pulling teeth wait wait cuz I thought you meant cuz the premier is before that so I went actually watch on that day I thought you meant what would I be doing and I was thinking I don't to only only a bit of Whimsy into say what I'll be sitting with millions of others in a cinema watching my new film Cuban Fury so sorry I see what you did now yeah yeah thank you no this is a Cuban Fury a new British comedy with yourself and Nick Frost and I'm not on the isn't that oh no that isn't you it could be you with the leg in the air yeah now I could safely say ladies and gentlemen without fear of contradiction it is the best british-based salsa romcom I have ever seen that can go in the poster yeah for sure no it's a really funny sweet film it is a lovely film now who are you um I can't actually remember the name of my character but I it was a while ago believe it but a she she was promoting a film she didn't know who she was playing in the film it was finished it was in the cinema it was a long time after we'd filmed you might have checked before you came on a chat show I love how honest she is about it I I have no idea I don't know a smile I don't know why they they also cu contractually no offense but we sort of asked to come and all right fine thank you I love you too wow she doesn't mean that I didn't mean that I didn't oh God she doesn't want to be here ladies and gentlemen true I love gram but I do wonder why they ask me to do it I don't help do I I I keep thinking she's never being one of my fils ever oh she's good hello gorgeous come and sit down dude hi look it's [Applause] you congratulations very good gous he done a great job [Applause] down you don't mind this is this oh oh oh Bill Murray stop that stop that stop [Applause] that I'm I'm not for Grace I I really am well you you appeared to be done on the one side and we thought we I can only apologize for L faith I'm so sorry sorry oh this is lovely so listen are you eating her shoe that's one h Sho give it to her with the Lippy I I just love that Lord grantham's a freak oh F before you get eaten H that single is out in Fe 23rd it is new album is on the it's March the 10th and called a perfect contradiction which I think these three gentlemen definitely fit in and it's all it's all kind of uptmor stuff it's Dancy stuff it's kind of upbeat it's disco and fun and it's like if it's all gone to [ __ ] then let's just have a dance yes yeah can you say gone to [ __ ] over here yes apparently we can well then let's then let's dance and and here's an all you haven't met the guys on the couch before have you no but you've got you've got to know them very quickly I would say but you have met George CL I have met George Clooney I I was at um I opened the bafs last year actually it's great all right and um he said that he noticed that I kept going to the toilet and I was like why haven't you been to the toilet like all night he hadn't been to the toilet and um he told me he had a colostomy bag I was just wondering whether on set he went to the toilet much or you notice he must have really trusted you you normally have to know him for like a decade before he he lets you in on that little yeah Hey listen we're going to we're going to go to the red chair just before we go to see who's there H who's up who's up hello hi hi for once you're quite glad you're at a distance aren't you so what's your name Rebecca this is Rebecca and where you from Rebecca New Zealand oh you surprise me time out can I just ask you really quickly so this is a situation where we're allowed to we if one of us pulls this lever she flips yeah okay as you just did this is this is literally like the milgrim experiment yeah it's like fantastic okay that was her I hope her story wasn't very good I'm imagining it wasn't wow so if you don't like her story you pulled this lever that was really real that was really real I always thought it was rehearsed you know or cut in in some way that was real you did that that just happened and she went you know that's I didn't do it he did I didn't do it did you grow up in a forest or something that's vodka that's vodka down in one [Applause] wow thank you I just need let's see what you got let's see come on come on you're such a rock and roll star there's one [Applause] more what a ladies and gentlemen her her rehab is taking quickly let's try let's try someone else in the red chair okay quick let's see if we can get a story hello nice lady hello what's your name Jessica Jessica can can you here Jessica paron no I'm not talking a she's so sweet and she's French she's adorable I don't think she's French she said didn't she say like paron no she said pardon she's POS a chair a chair put me in do you want to go do you want to go okay can you can you ever go in the chair okay go you go and do that again okay where's the chair it's follow that man there follow follow okay but but hurry we've got homes to go to by the way this is the best time I've ever had on a talk show oh bless you without that thank you very much that's true again all right the champagne yeah I think it's the champagne not the host okay uh who's up next hi hi hi I'm H I'm from West susex are you hi I just like to say that I think Matt Damon is really amazing in the fourth form hey well here's the thing thanks to the worldwide web anyone can now review a hotel right and uh so we've come and got these are actual online reviews of actual experiences people had in hotels so here's the first one I got to the hotel to check in and on my way to the elevator I slid right into a pile of diarrhea that was located near the elevator it got on my knees and my arm as well as my luggage the hotel sof door helped me in any shape or form and told me to watch where I was going and there was my fault how is it my fault there is poop on the floor in the first place my room was horrible and smell like poop as well I was disgusted never again now what I like about this is one of two people found that review helpful other person no that's not helpful he still gave it one star yeah I know I think having looked at these I think one's the minimum you can't do a no star uh what's up next uh please take notice at this view me and my husband and two kids went to these apartments for a week and I must say never again we arrived at 5:00 a.m. and were introduced by member of staff ismet I did took our passports we sat down and my daughter 13 saw two people on the sofa next to the bar making love whilst being videoed by the chef why is it they weren't doing a good job making love it's what they call making love yeah I like I like that service still got two stars and location was excellent uh next up do not stay in this absolute dump of Hotel I use the term Hotel very loosely I canot convey strongly enough how disgusting this place is bloodstained headboards that clearly been up since World War the first one root star windows that won't close no hot water broken Furniture dirty utensils broken light fittings an actual poo in the kettle now that's a holiday that's your I am so on [Applause] holiday there you go let's see the next one I wish we hadn't gone oh now this is a weird one I don't know whether it's an actual spelling mistake or whether it's autocorrect but it makes the review very confusing indeed I wish we hadn't gone the meal was ruined by midgets everywhere and we were sitting inside we even moved tables near the back wall we were either followed by them or or they were at that table till we woke up following and covered in bites and very itchy terrible that's the hotel in Disneyland though all over the place get off do we have another one this is this is oh this is well anyway we were given the keys to the wrong room and walked into the room to find a naked African gentleman washing his genitals in the sink de are you Whispering all of this to in going washing his genitals terrible oh my gosh when devel writes a book this is in it and then I said to D Judy d washing his [Music] genitals

Channel: The Graham Norton Show

Views: 210,368

Keywords: TV show highlights, The Graham Norton Show, best of Graham Norton, best of talk shows, candid discussions, celebrity banter, celebrity talk show, charming interactions, comedian host moments, comedy talk show moments, delightful humor, engaging banter, entertaining dialogues, fun celebrity discussions, heartwarming TV show moments, iconic TV moments, inspiring celebrities, lovable celebrities, star encounters on TV, talk show host, warmth and laughter in shows

Id: 1otHYspQUzU

Length: 38min 55sec (2335 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 08 2024