Your Favourite Moments! | Marathon | The Graham Norton Show

Community you really were a blue coat weren't you I wasn't blue yeah at the place you showed which was next door to heesham nuclear power station the thing is I've got settler because I was I worked at a really good one in Yarmouth Great Yarmouth got sacked which is another story and then uh it was sacked and then and was sent to we'll move on to that in a minute sent to this one sent to that one as a sort of punishment it was like uh you're going to Morecambe to do six months because you have just you've just done something what had you done instead of cheeky in the 70s but now is illegal it was actually an incident where it was my first attempt to stand up comedy and uh what happened was I I'd always wanted to do stand-up comedy I didn't have the guts to do it I got very drunk I had a go at doing it as a blue coat my mate said to me just copy all the other comedians at pontins and steal their jokes and basically talk to the front row so you're supposed to say where you're from they say Scotland you say who paid for your holiday where you're from Wales you're making noise like a sheep rubbish jokes right but I said that's terrible he said don't worry you're just padding what you're doing is you're looking for comedy gold which is where you're from they say Kent and you say what did you call me right now at Poltergeist is this used to take the roof off right so I tried it but I was very drunk so I go on stage and I say where are you from this bloke says Scotland I can't remember the joke hello from the guy says Wales I'd black out and I go hi and then I say anyone in from Kent bloke shouts out me laughs and I said okay [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] [Music] Fifty Shades Darker but actually this isn't darker it's more romantic I would say yeah I think that's probably true yeah um uh yes but there's probably more sex in it which I make noises American accented noises through it um no there's actually a question though do they let you do that I mean like when you're when you're doing the scenes does the director say more vocalization um they're like no that's not that's not good no one comes like that man [Laughter] there's some scenes where they will play music maybe a bit of if it's a wide shot and it's not like so it's the closest we get to sort of kind of sort of just sort of going for it in one piece um and they'll play music or something and my temptation is always just to try to make Dakota laugh so sometimes I'll do things like when there's a moment where I'm meant to you know orgasm I'll be like [Laughter] [Laughter] and was it nice to be this one because last time it was you and sort of everyone else was was a woman a director and everything but this time it's a it's a man directing that make a difference no not really to be honest I mean I think whoever is uh tasked with directing those kind of scenes I mean you know these guys know the sex scenes are awkward anyway and it just needs a very this is why I love him because he includes me and yeah you know these guys know sex scenes are just really hard it's like no babe [Laughter] what you did so many films at some point no no no no I'm back in The Hobbit no yeah a couple of people under that habit but no no no no no no what is that was that your decision no this is based on your life I mean this is things yeah Loosely Graham filled with things like isn't the washing machine that happened to you what the the washing you were very hungover oh yeah tell Jody Foster that story all their stories are really cool though Grail when I was teaching this is what this show is based on I I went home one weekend and I was in my 30s I was probably 33 years of age I went home to see my mother and then I went back and while I was at home my mother did my washing for me because I was only 33. and I went back on the on the Sunday night I got really drunk uh and then I I went for a curry and then the next day I went into school I'm gonna I went into school and it was a school in Slough and it was quite a rough school but they had a really brilliant hearing impaired department so they were hearing impaired kids who uh you know struggled they were they were really looked after in the school anyway I was really hungover I went there and about break time I felt really uncomfortable I thought something's not right you know so I went to the toilet and I pulled my trousers down and some of my mother's knickers had got I got mixed up in the washing and I was wearing my mother's and I went oh God no oh I remember going are you loser this is such a low point you [ __ ] loser and then the curry and the boot the curry and the booze kicked in from the night before so I I did like a fecal Jackson collar foreign I started going oh God not this not this as well oh Jesus so I cleaned myself up and I pulled my mother's pants back and I went back into the um classroom and I saw one of the hearing impaired kids just looking at me like this and that's when I remembered that my I had a microphone directly here we go [Applause] so maybe Man Down isn't that far-fetched John for you obviously lovely that Emily wants to be in the absolutely but as a director is it then weird giving your life partner notes it was weird because I was very nervous about it to be honest I think we both were before we started shooting she said are you nervous and I said I'm terrified and she said oh good me too um I think it's one of those things where people think because we're both in the same business we have the same experiences but I've actually never been on set with her seen how she worked I'd heard she was a diva and I just can't get Emily out of her trailer stuff like that it's like oh and um no but I think what it was is and it sounds really sappy but it's true I think it's the greatest collaboration I've ever had in my career I I've never seen her work and when you are actually in the room and she does what she does it honestly it changes the air in the room everyone is just completely and totally stunned by what she does oh yeah this is what I have to learn early on in our oh that relationship was it British people are notoriously terrible at taking compliments would you agree just like um you weren't cool at all there was none of that actually I don't know your work you are a proper fan of it I was full stalker status yeah I was just like hey you want to go on a date with me how many times have you seen Devil Wears Prada I mean not 75 give or take 72. yeah no it's one of those things that back in the day us elderly people used to channel and um no one does that anymore like I said so cruel oh it's just one of those movies that whatever whenever you're going through the channels you just stop and you I mean look has anyone seen the film hey probably [Applause] um there's a sort of Montage sequence where Annie Hathaway's got numerous fabulous outfits that they go through and John one day I came home and he was watching it and and he was watching the Montage bit and he goes that's my favorite outfit couldn't get Annie and so I was like Snoop Dogg's new album bush a very sexy bit of PR of course that uh the mighty Pharrell he co-wrote co-write all the songs he produced the whole album produced the whole album yes sir wow now is it true that Pharrell he was the one encouraging you to be a bit more family friendly a bit more mainstream yeah yeah hey made me change certain words I had a song called so many hoes he made it so many Pros they toned it down it was just prostitutes no they're professionals oh I see silly me the ladies in the video still look quite like hoes okay professional they're in a video and then Pharrell is it true that he I mean I'm sure he enjoyed working with you but he did have some difficulties working with you as well yeah when we were um working on a particular song called California roll um Stevie Wonder it came up to the studio and Pharrell had called a second hand contact from being in the studio with me and he kind of froze he didn't know how to produce anymore he was stuck he was like he might have to explain what the yes so at Pharrell was it an environment created by Snoop Pharrell was no longer the same Pharrell yes he was he was now someone else he was not he was not the greatest producer in the world the guy in the room so it was Stevie Wonder trying to talk to him Stevie Wonder was in the mic both and you know Stevie can't see so Stevie was waiting on some direction and Pharrell wasn't giving me no directions so Tina was just in there just this is weird and don't answer this question if you don't want to remember but I have I don't know why you brought this up but I did hear you discuss you had an extraordinary disagreement with your wife about yourself do you know what I'm talking about by myself you mean yes yeah oh yeah listen you know this story listen with interest one night as you do we were talking about stuff I just have no mentioned and of course being circumcised I said they were chatting they're married they're married they're allowed she said she said you're not circumcised I said what do you mean you've only known me if you I I all my life I remember my mother telling me why because it was fashionable at the time she said you're not circumcised I said that's ridiculous I should know if I'm circumcised end of conversation but the next day I happened to be seeing my doctor are you okay I was seeing my doctor about my annual physical of course so uh well he was down there I said excuse me oh by the way of um my wife and I had a little disagreement um I I am circumcised am I because she says I'm not and he goes not [Applause] it's not possible so he looked down again and he said hey I'm Jewish I know the difference what is that that is a bizarre [Laughter] you're gonna have to change your Facebook status no more beef stew well there's more beef stew because when uh you were starting off in wrestling you had a Persona that am I right well sort of half man half machine was that the idea correct yes this was Prototype it was awful so you you want to try to find a Persona or here's some more inside baseball for a gimmick where is it describes you as a character so like when you walk out people notice you and they kind of you can describe your character but these are not gimmicks these this is real whoa whoa I mean if they work yes but you kind of it's It's a trial and error process with a lot of errors and uh and my first try was uh the Prototype which was half man and half machine and 100 crap but given that you're not half a machine how did you demonstrate you were a machine well I I used this ability to talk rather monotone and would say things authoritative and just when I said I would kick your ass at the fairgrounds on Sunday I would rewind it and say it again for you Roy didn't they say I would kick your ass at the fairgrounds that didn't work you no no it didn't that's a good one everybody but but it worked on one I have one you found a huge success as John Cena imagine that I figure I need to come up with some sort of name yeah look every wrestler has a name yes and people think that like hey man how'd you make up the name John Cena I was like no dude I would have made up like dick hammerbush or something cool like that camera or something I don't know [Applause] from there no one's letting you go out with I would but uh they actually think that John Cena is a gimmick name but no that's actually through all the the presentation that is WWE I'm stuck with you wrestling fan Jimmy I used to love wrestling uh when we were much younger about the same time as Transformers back in the day we had big daddy yeah the giant haystack [Applause] no I used to love it I thought it was just fantastic by the way I'm John Cena that is awesome names the ultimate drooler or like nothing and dresses like to have uh signature moves and things yeah and one of yours is the you can't see me but that's correct is that true that came out of your family somehow yeah I was dared to do it so I was actually making the music for my own theme song that you just so heard and finally serenaded me to thank you very much uh and we played it for my brother and the first time he heard it this was uh the the 50 cents crew had a really popular song called in the club and he heard it the first time and instead of dancing like he was our litmus test to see what songs were good what songs are bad he did this and I'm like dude what are you doing he's like no everybody does this man everybody does this and I guess this is from 50 cents video and he's like you won't do it on TV what the hell do I Gotta Lose am I going to fire me of course I'll do it on TV but instead of doing this I did this and now for 15 years because of a dare I've been doing this and I'll do you one better people actually think I'm invisible there will be people to look at this couch and be like why is there nobody next to McConaughey and John Cena would be there but we can't see him so you never know you remember Hacksaw Jim Douglas King Kong bunny care Von eriks and carry the cloth I got kicked out of first time I'm talking Texas wrestling I get kicked out of her Coliseum in Shreveport for pelting scandar Akbar the bag of tomatoes skandar Akbar was a man dressed as a Sheik that used to throw fire yes and he managed King Kong Bundy who was like 484 pounds and remember there's missing Lanes from Parts unknowns that are the green face spit green mystery they sound really good good stuff yeah entertaining it is so much fun and I'm John Cena [Music] hello hi what's your name uh James James lovely James and what do you do I'm a civil servant a civil servant lovely in London here uh yes in London are you from the London area uh no I live in London but I'm originally from um Suffolk oh oh yeah it's a Suffolk massive yeah is he mentioned in the song probably yeah what what school did you go to um so I went to brandiston oh sweet yeah I went to Primary School yeah oh okay did we know each other yeah did we [Applause] think James hello yeah James yes me that's the one what the [ __ ] do you know it's my best mate growing up and now you're talking to me on a monitor specs and he's like oh my God no can we not flip him and just get him out of here do you have a story or do you well yeah I did but please let it be about Edge we'll flip you and then Okay cool so um yeah this is so randomly it's really weird um yeah when we were younger Ed used to come around to my house and yeah like you're saying we used to be quite good mates um and I remember one time um one time he was coming around for tea um and I forgotten to tell mum who's a vegetarian um at that point anyway and um so mum cooked I think the sausage and mashed for tea um and Ed said you know after the meal these are the best sausages I've ever tasted you know where did you get them from and Mum had to lie because she had no clue um and so yeah 16 years later I'm really sorry first time I ever had me and also the first time I ever watched The Simpsons episode was around your house as well okay well done we're going to flip you now and then uh we could be reunited backstage [Applause] surprise surprise me [Applause] um have a seat have a seat dude yeah one of the things you can do is you can conjure up uh people's fears yes okay yes so you you're afraid of quite basic things I'm afraid of like most things like anything high risk I'm terrified of but those are rational things okay irrational is big spiders because but they actually um I become paralyzed when I when I have a spider in my room really yeah I like wish I were tougher than that but I'm not okay now walk or flow were you serious when you told us what your fear is I mean it is it's a good fear it's I think it's a founded fear I think it's a founded fear it is tell us what it is um I have a phobia being chased around with poop on a stick [Laughter] I'd say we've all got that fear there's another one that goes not a lot for that it started when I was a kid it was just weird parenting for some reason kids thought it was funny to stick a stick in dog poop and Chase each other around with it but that scared the crap out of me because of the cleanliness problem of it no spreading terms [Laughter] granted though yours is brilliantly specific and I think without knowing it I think we probably all share it we may I don't know I I didn't have the the fear when I was younger because we've all we all go through this but it's when a little child and I'm the oldest of seven kids and I got a lot of little Rugrats running around and these little roaches start losing their teeth and they get a little Wiggly and they like to show me like this little dagger flipping in and out of their mouth and like look up does everybody want to pull this thing out I'm like get out of here you're freaking me out but don't you think that is really freaky it's like her thumb it just really kind of grosses me out the cutest little thing on the planet starts to do like the creepiest thing in the planet and I'm like get out of here it's like here tie the string to my thing to the doorknob get out of here creep animals that's now little ones running around flipping their little fake teeth falling out look we all have this you know when you you have the dreams your teeth pull out I don't know what it means anybody what it means we get bigger ones no you had a bad dreams am I the only the only one that's bad I haven't just had that dream too yeah not me what does that mean I think I don't know share of money I think I think that's what they do who has fear of money maybe I'm just afraid of my teeth [ __ ] falling out [Applause] sorry what are you afraid of well I was gonna go with flying but I think I'll go with um girls over 12. [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] [Laughter] [Applause] I don't know what came over here the last minute of my life I wouldn't have predicted that how was it Mark Ruffalo you're not going to believe what he said to me he was bang on the money perceptive man it was the Dora poem don't try and justify it do you know what I've always hated the hulky [ __ ] don't make him angry yeah you would like me when I'm angry buffalo I my son said that to me the other day when he was mad at me what that you wouldn't like him even I always hated the Hulk I think he's [ __ ] you just told him that he was afraid of girls over 12. for him that would be okay hi what's your name my name's Sebastian Sebastian and where are you from I'm from Newcastle Newcastle okay do you live there or here uh I live in Newcastle yeah okay all right off you go with the story Sebastian well many moons ago um uh I actually went to school in Newcastle um and there was a disco coming up that was a really popular girl at school um usual sort of scenario all the you know all the guys after it um I sort of like waited to the last moment last couple of days um and asked a girl one of this popular girl question if you'd like to go with me and she said yes this was literally I think the day before the Disco um lo and behold the turns out that she was actually gonna go with somebody else um and that other person was actually Charlie Sebastian lippiat come on [Applause] come to two people Rachel Gould they're very same yes you know who it is wow you know at the time and did you end up marrying Rachel Gould uh no not yet no okay it's still time it all happened to have a sword with you do you you you could you could have Revenge if you want to do you want to there you go if we thought we'd seen you play Everything But first which mostly [ __ ] yeah my first witch but I hear you went through a phase you got offered a lot of witches when I was 40 when I turned 40 I was offered three which is in one year and it was sending me a signal I felt about Hollywood and how they felt about people turning 40. so I felt uh bad and I and it made me sort of I had like a little my back up you know and so no I didn't want to play them so A lot's changed in the last five years for you good oh yeah [Applause] [Laughter] that scene in episode one The Doctors thing yeah did that really happen yeah my mum will kill me for telling this because it was my uh uh our family doctors and I he'd been our family my doctor since I was a child and but I went to as an adult because I was there was something wrong with my bum why when you said bum you looked at me directly in the eyes I'm sorry there was something but there was something wrong with my bun and I was a I said there's this thing wrong with my bum and he went okay and I went so what'd you say he goes well it'll probably be all right I would really like it I'd like you to just if you could make me feel better about if I feel better that it will be all right and he went it it'll probably clear itself up and I said yeah but is there any way I could be sure when he went ah you want me to put my finger up there don't you magically the other I think maybe maybe there's a reason but what is the reason that you film it in the school you used to teach in I think it's therapy probably I'm in the actual classroom where I talk because I was just to keep the theme going a real teacher for a long time yeah I talked for yeah but six years in the school that we filming in the classroom that I'm going Madden and I that's that's real that was my classroom yeah but you did it for did you ever enjoy it was there ever a moment when you thought I like this I don't know okay well I met some very nice people there and it was like you were nominated for Teacher of the Year weren't you yes I was great yeah you know yes I've told this story many times but to teacher of the year is a very prestigious award that's taken very seriously and rightly by the hard-working teaching community and my head teacher called me in and he was wetting himself laughing he couldn't stop laughing for the first 10 minutes and he went I went what why have you called me here he goes you've been numb eliminated and I went oh okay and it was by a very sweet girl called Gemma I've humiliated many times and it's a six-page document that people have to fill in for the reasons why you should be nominated for Teacher of the Year it was blank from one sentence that she'd written on it which was the reasons why you think he should be teacher of the year and she's written he's a well good laugh and he don't make us do no work thank you your character's name is Dr smolder bravestone yes and so all the characters have strengths so one of your strengths is the smolder an actual smolder yes it just takes over uh and I have no control of it and did you know you could smolder like did you kind of think yeah when you were doing you read it you got to go oh yeah I'll do my smolder you know I take you is that it no it didn't come yet oh okay okay that literally is where it came from that what you're saying and this is why he looked at me because it's so frustrating just go ahead tell the story about your stupid smoke it's one of those things that you know as we're developing the script and thinking well what could be a fun thing well what of a fun thing one of the fun things was he he has this ability to smolder and it just takes over him he has no control of it uh and uh and it's just one of those things Graham that God delivered I signed for it and then just do it and everyone everyone loves it and everyone loves it except one individual everyone loves I'm gonna tell you what it is okay now we we are we are very close we're very close as friends and you know in this position he's a producer on a film so sometimes I just bit my tongue so this idea came up from a producer like mentality oh you know what would be great for this character if he's smoldered and I was like what you know if he did a thing and I was like well that got to do with that being like in the game he's like it's a thing and he's like and then he's brought him back he was like my mom used to do it to me when I was and that's why we listen to him everything got tied back to Hawaii that's how he did it Greg could we see a smaller can we see oh I'd be happy to Great sit back for a second yeah yeah all right here we go can we have a little music maybe something that's a little ominous okay here we go wow yes okay okay here we go you can do it to me get ready here we go [Music] [Laughter] [Music] [Music] beautiful very good thank you thank you so much that sustains smoldering it's very impressive [Applause] is pregnant having a baby Rebels Pebble it's a little wrong that's good yeah it's a little rock that's why you are who you are Heaven obviously you're like not just a stand-up you're like a stand-up Superstar you sell out Arenas all over the world the best of our time [Applause] but what's nice to know is it wasn't always like that I don't know like what was it what did you perform it you performed at a seafood festival I mean which which [ __ ] show you want to know about I had a crab fest what is that in the beginning of the stand of Comedy you're not you're not performing in in luxury you know venues wherever they feel that they can build the stage and make money is where you're going so there was a crab fest comedian Talent I was like all right well you know I'm available I don't know if you guys have ever tried to tell a joke about people cracking crabs it's not the best environment literally the frustration that comes from not being able to open a crabs funny at the same time the stuff that you hear I remember hearing a woman an older lady who was like she was cracking cracks because this is how you crack crack [Music] I tell a joke and the joke doesn't work and I remember this lady just going oh no [Laughter] the disappointment from her voice she said baby it was like oh no baby as if I have made a mistake with my choice of life like I'm not doing it wrong I I mean you know look the the the the hardship that I went through has helped helped build me into the person I am today where I can take so much but I've been through it all I was I was hitting the face with a buffalo wing I performed don't perform around food let me go to my shows now there's no food uh it was it was a it was actually a male strip club that they shut down for comedy for the first half so it was like it was a bunch of it was ladies in there and you know it's just supposed to be us performing for these women that were riled up first thing I got on stage when they introduced me and this lady was like pull it out I said hey [Applause] that's not me I'm not here to entertain these jokes I know who's got kids I started trying to merge into kid material and there's one dude from the back I just remember this dude from the back he was like that's enough and he's just threw a buffalo wing at me right here buffalo sauce is hot sauce I assumed that it was a woman with a deep voice so I was like who threw it who threw it because at the end of the day I'm a man I'm a man first don't disrespect me he stood up and he was like I did it and I I contemplated just taking my clothes off I was like [Applause] yeah well I I collect um stuff from movies uh that some of the movies I've done but really mainly Star Trek memorabilia because I love Star Trek nerd no I've never been in a Star Trek but I love the Original Series so I have like I have the Gorn head from the original series from the episode Arena what the Gorn is the Gorn from Star Trek we're going to give you the golden head oh wow okay do you have any of the boulders do any of the boulders I don't have any of the light Boulders no but I have Spock's ears from yeah [Applause] yeah very good but on bridesmaids you did do a lot of kind of proper bonding on bridesmaids didn't you didn't you like Party nights and stuff we we did a pre um my co-writer Annie and I had the idea to get all the girls together plus the script supervisor wardrobe just all like the women on the film to buy 40. there were a lot of people 40 women yeah me is research we went to a gentleman's entertainment yeah parlor strip club well guys yeah okay so we got in a we got a party bus es a lot of booze weird poles which I was like did it have the Disco lights in the Box oh yeah oh fabulous yeah and then we went to we went to a strip club um and um there was like a backdraft yeah it wasn't that it would all come out in like fireman stuff and then it was like right like everything had the same theme and everything involved it seemed like every number had a duster everybody had a long trench coat a lot of equipment do you remember the uh The Matrix one yeah there was somebody was playing Neo wonderfully there was a lot of long trenches and guys in suits and everybody had these very cheap glasses on but I couldn't figure out the one guy had a huge huge thick rope around his waist and I was like I have not seen The Matrix in a while I couldn't figure out we're all like what's the Rope about I don't remember a rope in The Matrix and they're like dude these synchronized dancing and it's like all this encloses coming off we're like put it off [Laughter] I'm still like I don't get what the Rope is about and then the big move comes where you know the bullets come and he does like the back bend clearly this professional dancer could not do a back bend so the big move was like all of a sudden it's like oh and somebody off stage is clearly holding the road thank you [Applause] held this guy up because he was like okay that was my that was yes that was like a stand that moment a lot of things and now Saturday Night Live also was a big bonding thing now because Christian do you know Leslie and Cake we met I think we met when I posted oh no we and we did a movie together um and we worked together after that okay yeah okay but now you guys are still in Sacramento life most people I'm sure no but it's a it's a big comedy sketch show in in America but how long we worked together for how many years now it's been two after one right it's been three maybe three it's been three um after the first year Leslie and my name is Kate McKinnon and she uh I know that but uh she she came up to me and she said um after a year of knowing me um you all right Kate Middleton thank you and were you joking uh no I was not I was like my kid I was like well who's Middleton then she was like a princess [ __ ] [Applause] I like Kate Middleton oh her hair is awesome okay he did some you did some great characters on Saturday Night Live you're Justin Bieber Justin Bieber is spookily accurate [Applause] thank you you've done it in front of him haven't you I have not you haven't have not breached um I met him before because he hosted SNL once and then uh that was before I started doing the impression of him but I was so struck by how this was before he got really beefy for those Calvin kleinance and now he looks like you know a big Beefcake but um he was really he was very delicately very tender beautiful just such a beautiful face and such a big big hat such big clothes and just the most beautiful and I I am a huge fan of his and I love it now you have a special way of a special way of preparing the face haven't you yes um yes you you want to look as though you've done something wrong but like laughs [Music] very good so now how old are you now I'm 77 and I don't know don't don't know [Music] I think they implore because they know they're going to live longer than me in New York they perks it needs to be a new apartment on the market soon I hate when people say like oh there's 77 years young I met Vanessa Vanessa Felts and she said to me is Joan she's 77 years young and I want to say and here's Vanessa and she's 350 pounds thin [Applause] it sucks and you have to face it and you have these I've been on this show with some of these older women that still try to look good no names Goldie Hawn [Applause] she's my friend and she says to me would you believe I got a grown-up daughter and you go yes I love your skirt your nipples are showing I mean there goes the goldie horn booking age sucks have you got a face but is it because America is really so youth obsessed I mean how and in the film you show you know kind of that it is hard for a woman of your age to get the job it's beyond difficult the only jobs really left now for women unless they get friendly with people to do films but the only jobs that are really commercials I just thank God my I made my yearly not this year on a product called girly which is for dry vagina and it's um well anyone knows the Heartbreak of dry vagina thank you [Applause] I was perfect for it like cattle's following me home oh wow three Jewish men are trying to rent my uterus instead of going to Miami but and this thank God for these commercials there's one called an uh Zestra is that come here yet women's Viagra has that happened yet it's women's Viagra and they have this big discussion with me should they make it in pill form this is honest to God truth it was in the newspapers pill form or cream because they didn't know which would do better and they find a side of these idiots will do it in cream because if it's in pill form in a bar a man can drop it in a woman's drink and she won't know it but if you're in a barn a guy goes so where are you from too [Applause] should we do another thing uh we loved you as the genie in Aladdin well that was fun so we thought we might have our very own genie on the show tonight so uh is there anyone in the audience who fancies a go at being a genie too okay try try you uh what what what's your name Ewan sorry what yeah his name is urine nice to have you here thank you no worries great area frightening I know don't piss off Ewing okay don't think of a magic word right something you know it's just you magic word and that camera three is going to do a kind of Zoom crash on you so so when I say go you and you'll just do your magic word okay so you and go hi Graham [Applause] wow how grandma would feel like we're in the middle of a Telethon right now Ewan has learned to say hi Graham thanks to your dollars please help we'll learn another phrase by the end of the show is should we should we try another boy oh actually you're wearing blue already that's why you yeah okay so into that camera your magic world what's your name Nick good Nick okay number three and go Alakazam wow it was almost it was almost too good it was a bit like you're you're very good at that yeah Alakazam time to dance now I'm gonna dance with you and and good night um [Applause] [Applause] there you go so I'm just gonna get my genie to help me okay hang on oh yes because I forgot all about poor creatures [Applause] good Nick good oh there he is ready I need I need a lovely funky DJ console please [Applause] good work good work Nick okay I'll tell you what Nick you you can come back into the studio come back to the studio you can help us in this thing okay there you go well done [Applause] yeah right I must be floating anymore thank you okay we go over here for the DJ bro right here we go here we go it's it's the Robin and Graham Road Show hello loads of gloves okay you're over there now well done so there's a mic there now Nick I've got some music Nick put a shout out right now Nick beer now for the blue people they're gonna keep it real get ready for an Alakazam [Applause] so it's the Robin and Graham Road Show can you do a jingle a live jingle for us welcome to the Robin and Graham radio show very good shout out from Nick okay good evening Robin welcome back once again we got some shout outs I got one going on right now to Stephen Buck he wants to shout out to Jess who's your best friend and he says stop texting him he's not interested [Applause] Michelle Smith Michelle Smith wants to shout out to Esther best friend that bloke you pulled don't worry about trying to remember his name you can do so much better yeah [Applause] there he is it Marlon if anyone gonna say we'd like to shout out to his friend Gregoire don't worry girls love that you have got a third nipple [Applause] [Music] you don't have to [Applause] go wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait wait yeah yes first of all I'm not a circus freak [Applause] secondly I will get my third nipple out on the condition that Robin Williams comes and touches it oh [ __ ] here we go there we go this better be a real nipple [Applause] ready oh boy please let it be a nipple [Applause] ready ready here we go okay oh [ __ ] I did wow beautiful wow [Applause] you've got another one play with my third nipple girl you've never had fun till you go third once you've got the third nipple things get crazy the two nipples going but when the third goes [Music] I'm certain nipple goes and then my fourth penis jumps out ladies and Gentlemen please thank my guest tonight they're Fantastic Mr Robin Williams hey man everybody thank you now Sir Patrick Stewart and you don't really use this so much do you uh what should I sorry should I have been calling you no I shouldn't am I supposed to no okay but but no do you I take my lead from Sir Ian I whom we've both shared some time with yes and uh he is he is so phlegmatic about all of that and and I just you know it's a great honor but it's not something that I need to press when you bump into another sir when you're out and about do you then do you do you call each other well yes sir you must work roll in sir circles okay circles [Applause] so how do you become a sir um well Patrick how well you know it's a case of um I got mine on the Queen's birthday honors but you have reminded me that I did have a sir encounter only a few weeks ago in Los Angeles a rather fancy in fact extremely fancy restaurant tell me what it is because they'll know um it was the uh the the the Tower bar I'm not damn [Applause] it keep going you keep going keep going okay now the towel bar is a spot I got a feeling this isn't gonna work out four of us were seated at a table about 15 minutes later into the restaurant walks Sir Paul McCartney wow good now Paul and I have a very slender relationship but it's lasted decades I first encountered him in 1964. no when his girlfriend Jane Asher then told him that I loved Aston Martins I was driving a battered old Ford but Aston Martin's were my dream car she told him this and one night yeah we knew he was seeing the show there was a knock on my door and I said yeah come in I'm there in my underwear you know like as usual in my pants I'm ready for you come in and the door open and standing there was Paul McCartney who I had never met before and this was 1964. and uh he said James says that you like Aston Martin's here drive this wow and he tossed a bunch of keys that was pretty cool and it was an ass it was his name anyway do you want to hear the rest let's keep going keep going we're in we're in the fanciest restaurant in L.A we're now in the tower bars we are he sees me and comes over and uh I stand up and say hi and we have a big hug in the restaurant and I'm very much aware that there's all the tables are full on this kind of thing and we talked for five or six minutes and he goes and sits down five minutes go by and into the restaurant walks a Ringo Starr I swear to you I'm not making this when were they together they were they were oh they were at the same table they were the same yes um well uh we uh at the tower I am expecting so many free meals we finish early and I get up to go and Paul stands up to say goodbye and we have a hug and this we have a hug he says into my ear do you know Ringo I've never met him but I'm he said oh boy Ringo come on come over here hang on a minute he said sir Ringo Sir Patrick Sir Paul hey we've got the Knights of the Round Table [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: The Graham Norton Show

Views: 5,301,396

Keywords: Best celebrity interviews, Celebrity revelations, Classic moments, Comedy central, Comedy sketches, Entertainment industry, Exciting TV, Favourite moments, Funny moments, Hilarious anecdotes, Late night show, Laughter-filled, Light-hearted banter, Must-watch, Pop culture discussions, Rising stars, TV comedy, TV humor, Talk show magic, The Graham Norton Show, Unforgettable moments

Id: 6MgRTFX_7UU

Length: 58min 30sec (3510 seconds)

Published: Sat Aug 12 2023