Dear Lovejoy Podcast | Mark 'Billy' Billingham

Billy welcome to my kitchen thank you for coming in today with all my guests I buy them a present I understand you're a really good beer drinker but I bought your red wine expensive red wine can you drink I can drink red wine yes anything we won't go on is good for me do you right how is how is your drinking culture cuz I imagine in the in the forces it's quite I suppose Jason Fox about this which I his name will probably come up quite a lot during this podcast but he said obviously when you're on tour you can't drink when you come off tour you make up for it yeah I mean your military life is all about binging and then one big thing we did it was brings drinking we sort of eat it hard and any opportunity we do again we take advantage of of course does that create problems afterwards because we're hearing a lot now with the forces about all the problems post actually being in the army or that the what if its forces and force you're in it's it's it's when you leave that's why the problem start isn't that does that create problems as well yeah it does I mean you don't realize how so well you protected and looked after in the army obviously do a pretty wild adverse job but then once you leave we all become a little bit lost you know you used to sort of traveling as a thousand miles an hour and then also and you step out into civilian just a civvy Street and things are a lot slower and well you know different and you take for granted what you had around you you know knowing where the doctors were know where the the dentists were no one you got your food and all of a sudden me took me ages just to understand how I had to register to go to the dentist or I could just walk in and do as I want the military so it takes a lot of adjusting and people find it hard and he creates a lot of [Music] sort of unrest in family life because he had not used to really live in a family life he spent so much time away and the old absence makes the heart grow fonder Sasuke she does but also now you're now living with somebody that you don't know as well as you thought you did so he creates a lot of strain and guys turn to to drink Everly I know after and again I guess mixed in now he's not just the live styluses sort of what you've been doing operation in what you've seen obviously since the radio today and they were discussing the fact that's some of the soldiers and people have been fighting you're now being brought to trial for certain things and uh and a guy phoned up and said we don't know as people in the military exactly your point nice it he said he sort of left on the Friday on the Monday he realized he was civilian I had no idea of how to how how to just be normal because you've been so institutionalized in this in you know and in the forces and he said it's really hard but I think it's getting better now though isn't it yeah I mean there's this sort of program in place now two prior to leave in the military that this will review they're trying put you for a bit of a program of making you understand things like I've just spoke about you know yeah you have to now register on the council you have to do this you have to do that but it's when I left I didn't get told anything you know a little stepped out but there again that a little bit about my transition of the military to Syria life was slightly different but for people of my generation when I did step out was no you didn't get any guidance at all or any sort of medical direction no so they never really looked at what and in the the cracks are starting to appear as soon as people get out how I was one of my last questions to you is gonna be about relationships because it just seems to me it must be so hard to obviously you just talked about relationship is post coming out but whilst you're actually in the forces how hard is it to have a relationship it's it's you become very selfish you you know because of the nature of stuff that you're doing the time you spend away you almost become a single mom and and act that way in many many ways you know you just sort of tried to put your family and everything behind you while you're doing what you're doing and try not to think about it because he just compounds the issues that you've already got in front of you which some of them they're pretty vegan yeah dangerous of course but so he kind of block you block your family out for most of your tours that you go away to a degree and it must be hard for any partner for someone especially if you in Special Forces where you're told I imagine to keep everything secret pretty much and it must be quite hard for your partner to know that there's another life that you're you know that your husband or your boyfriend or something is leading away from you and you can't really talk about it because there's stuff going on you don't really want to bring home with you yeah it is it's really difficult and sort of stuff that we did Special Forces wise you know our communications were absolutely tight I mean it's got better now I believe we couldn't you know you'd probably get allowed to make a phone call once a month or you could probably write a letter but you know it took so long to get home you're probably back by the time they've got it however I think now the the communication is a little bit better but yeah for the partners it really is yeah they're the ones who deserve a freaking medal we do you know we're away and you know you don't dangerous tones only ain't all guns and roses it's it's freaking hard yeah yes you know you never know and the scary thing of the back of your mind is there's a potential good potential you not might not come back and you've always got that angle above you you know for the partners they really you know they watch the news every night and they're going for it they really go for it but jason said one of the hardest things about being a Jason Fox when he was almost saying actually the fact that you can now speak to each other all the time because you know it used to be you say a letter and we tweet later now you can actually receive really bad news and then you have to go and you know you're gonna be involved in fighting in contact with ten minutes later it's like it could be about there's bad sides to it as well yeah absolutely there is I don't know if that's it depends what you're doing operationally if it's a really sensitive operation and I'm pretty sure it's a blanket on no communication laughs yeah for security reasons and for you know the mental issues that you could create within sort of gang there you know so I'm pretty however in general like when you're like a six-month tour of Baghdad or whatever it might be there are times when it's not full-on fighting it's no fallens or day yeah and you've gotta have that social element to to your life so they do allow now the use of Skype and phone so you can see each other and sometimes that can be a hard thing yeah exactly like you call along to find that there's issues at all you can help but carry that around with you again you're back to your room thinking right we're gonna go and do a mission on but the wife's it's always özil and whatever but he I'm a single dad right and so sometimes when I speak to my kids via Skype or something I kind of it makes me miss them more but they're only the other side of London they're not the other side of the world or you know like a couple of oceans away you know so so as you say it's great that you can see them but also I think it could have some mental implications as well it really does yeah the old cliche you know no one loses good news yeah sometimes it really is I remember one time but you weren't an operation I was out in the jungle in Brunei communicator really bad when she's in the jungle and then one night and he was going dark I get this call come over the radio from a girl who don't speak the best English anyway to tell me that my daughter's been in a car crash oh no and that's what he could tell me so I'm now you can imagine what's going far terrible so then we try we can't get the helicopter in because he's the the won't fly at night in the jungle lot so I spent like the next 12 hours waiting for daylight in absolute panic not knowing where but she's dead weather bad it was I mean he turned out by the grace of God it wasn't as bad as it could have been thank God but I mean yes so is that one of the worst 12 hours of your life yeah I think so yeah because you can just imagine you know yeah so yeah so you're out on tour at the moment yeah an audience with you traveling around the country is it nice the fact that people are so interested in the military yeah it's it's it's overwhelming I really it's really grown on me as well how many people it's quite funny because I talk I talk about my life basically and you know I tell the truth of all the things I've done right and done wrong and why for that did it etc etc but I'm just fascinated by the crowd he is everything from a 9 year old to an 85 year old and they all come up to me at the enemy saying well it was the most inspiring talk of a run on and I asked what's so inspiring about it like you know in these the answers are varied but to have such a diverse or group of people telling you the same thing it's amazing and a lot of it is about the military stuff than what they've come to hear but I tell him stuff that they obviously knew nothing about and then he switches a focus so when I come out at the end to talk to people you know it's all about what they came to his military stories but then they Wow I didn't realize you did so much for charity and you did this and about your childhood and so it's been really really interesting you literally though putting your life at risk I think that's what's so inspiring for the good of the country and and I think that's why we're so interested about it and special especially when the special forces who really do go to the end of the degree to put their selves at risk for other people I mean it's kind of a you know it's a strange occupation how did you get involved in it do you mind giving us a brief history of how you did it yeah I mean I was right from the start I was a naughty kid are going to introduce to the cadets and for whatever reason it was I gravitated towards discipline although I was a bad kid and I knew how to manipulate the system and I did but I knew from the age of 11 this is where my destiny is I need to be in the military and I continued we were my sort of naughtiness and you know and out of trouble all the way up to getting into the military and it just I just loved it and I always talked about my decision of why I went to the parachute regiment as opposed to the Marines was a marine cadet and it made natural transition to go to the Marines had already worked it don't limp stand that you know and then it was just before the Falklands i sat and spoke to all these guys have been torn back and one guy had been shot twice and he was a paratrooper and I just listened to his story it's not because I want to be shot I just thought that's I'm kind of that rogue type person within the military that really suits me and that's the reason I chose the parachute regiment and it really suited me I love the danger I love our total crisis manager I was fortunate enough to my career really I hit the military at this stage where we're really on a war footing all the way along from the time we are joined to when I left and it suited me there's two times a soldier there's the batroom soldier and there's that feel I am definitely the field soldier what is about Krim soldier mean he's a person who likes to sit down and plan and look nice in uniform and that sort of stuff and organized I'm not that person at all I'm the break glass in times of danger and off you go and I really am that that's how I sort of my career went he was always crisis management and things happening on the span of them what do you mean you enjoyed the danger there what what what happens to you all what are you enjoying I just love a challenge or just really yeah I love the challenge of can I do this yeah the other obviously the the fire you to do is probably gonna lose your life I mean I don't look it I'm not reckless right yeah very honest I'm miss risk mitigation is so I'm pretty good at yeah but if the odds are probably 5149 I'm going for it Wow which is a bit you know there's no there's something in my heart tells me I can do this so did you thoroughly enjoy your time in the forces oh my god yeah are you like a retired footballer now do you just look back and think I wish I could be out there again I'll tell you they'll be very honest with what the first year I really craved it I missed it I father I couldn't settle down you know the not just the camera really sees a camera it's not it's a challenge the unknown and what comes next what there's nothing really out on city street like you can compare to it and the you know kicking in doors and you know sort out naughty people and doing great things which is what the regiment does I just really craved it then I think over a period have been her hopefully I saw it settle down a little bit you know I realized actually I've done my thing I shouldn't ask for something more because I don't know what the result will be you know I've walked out of situations where I probably should never have walked out of I might not be so lucky if I wanted to go back and do it again so I really do now see if I can go out an amazing time and I cherish it and I look back at it and I learn a lot of lessons from it and I do you know I admire the young kids that are now filling my boots and wish him all the best because can you ever replace the buzz which there is a buzz I assume there's an absolutely oh yeah I don't think so not to the level that you get with the argument you know in any sack that concoction of fear excitement and the unknown you know you'd never get in that level to be honest have you suffered PTSD since coming out I've never had PTSD and I never believed in it you know because I looked around and I was eating a PTSD pts there you know and I would look to it I find that I mean I've probably been through ninety percent more than these people that seem to be having it and I didn't understand it why but and then one one night I was out of a friend who I sort of considered being a mirror image of me great you know lived the life to the full you know love love the danger love the lifestyle and he'd been in a very bad accident in a plane crash basically behind enemy lines and I was out of him one night and he just broke down outside this club and grabbed and I didn't know how to handle it he was crying for them outside he was I just didn't know where and I sat with him until early hours of the morning listening to him and he's inside the crash how he was these kids what he kept seeing he couldn't sleep and then I realized it really is there and it is there and I then realized you know there's a lot more people suffering I mean I've had my dark moments don't get me wrong yeah but he's never really affected me to sort of have to change my lifestyle or have to you know seek help to be honest I think the darkest moments are really I was a my mom and dad dying within three weeks of each other and then just the that kind of hurt me for a few months and then a friend of my committing suicide and having to stand then read the eulogy affected me but not long-term the other thing with PTSD is unfortunately you know there are people out there that really need it I've got it and need help this just so I believe so many people just jump on the bandwagon you know if somebody doesn't get the internet for three days awesome I got freaking PTSD and he died Lutz away from the people that really need the L and need the support and it's a shame yeah I think we're starting to understand mental health a bit better though now aren't we and yeah I think it's been a it's you know it's been it's been tough and it's especially tough for anyone working in your industry or the police force or anything because they're told to come on you know what you were signing up for story you know snip off a lemon all that but you don't know how you're gonna feel when you come out do you and you know as you say you it's not affecting you for some other people it affects so and the thing I will say berries you signed up to yeah and there's children involved course at which we which you know it's hard but that that is the the when as soon as you're engaging with the enemy there will be children there's women in children's families people that don't want to be there who unfortunately you know collateral damages you want to call it where you want to call it's unfair it's real you know but it happens whether going back to that I mean as soon as you say children or animals people go wolf maybe the soldiers do that whatever reason it affects you more and it does and maybe rightly so but so imagine what doctors go for it yeah to tell kids I got cancer or tell her parents so the thing about PTSD is not just military it's it's out there oh sorry god we just so yeah so I mean I do recognize it now but we're all different our children your kryptonite you think as a soldier the bit where you're out there which which can because you obviously got get in a zone when you're out there in amongst it and then that the children thing must be hard myself I surrender Smee changes everything the diamond dynamic of everything if you're about to you know you get your intelligence you're going against some pretty badass people which is generally what we're doing and then also you get onto target intelligence ain't quite got it right or they've missed and this kids or women if you like it just froze the whole thing into chaos and it does I mean everybody I don't care who you are you just become a different beast when there's kids involved you really you changes everything now help me out because I got myself into trouble when I talked to Jason Fox because I stupidly called him SAS at one stage silly me rather than Special Forces and he's SBS I thought when yeah you might as well explain me how it works cuz I thought you'll work together but do you are you I thought you you went into the forces and then when you got chosen for the Special Forces you entered it up all working together is that not what happened no we do we eat but we have different rules so you've got the SAS and SBS and it's only really over the last 15 years or so is while I was a directive stuff on this insulation now we all started doing the same session there's two special unit Special Forces units in the British Army ICS SBS a special air service week of a wretched cover everything air land you know mountains and all over the water under the water over the mountains over the desert and you know we cover an improvement coming from the air SBS is boat service it's they predominantly specialized purely on the water and below the water so that was their sort of so we had for instance if we had an incident that was out at sea would generally calling the SBS to lead on it although we had our own sort troops that are both supported they're a little bit more specialists however over the years they've now become very much the same as the SAS in terms of they now do mounting work there no air air air troops type stuff desert stuff I will always say to not to the degree that we do in the SAS so that's the differences we do work together it's a big operation I mean the SAS generally pick up most of the stuff but they'll always take an element of the SBS with them so we do do the same stuff and people say so what's the difference between the SES and the SBS SES under SBS under the water SES we walk over the war my next question was are you rivals yeah we are rivals would it's always great Banting's it's almost like parachute regiment Marines you know we're always at each of us role but when then when it comes to the crunch we're all yeah alga mated and go together same as the SBS you know we are the same thing do the SBS get a bit annoyed that the general collective term for Special Forces is SAS because you know more about the Assessor need to do the SBS don't you yeah I mean that's because we were more active and we have been for many many years we're more actively involved we are that's that's a fact and if the very own so they'll tell you that right yeah I mean now it's it's you know the more and more we're more and more involved together but for many many years most of the big operations and it was done by the SS whose trainings harder it's the same it's exactly the same they do the same selection now so which again was SES selection so you train didn't you used to used to be a trainer yeah I was a DS directive star phone was so direct if star for the parachute regiment to start with which was an amazing time to see you know young raw material young recruits coming into into the DEP on and turning out you know a polished experienced soldier at the end of it was amazing and then when I was on the SES wants to join the SS I was also an SDS so I was the window to what we were looking forward to coming to the regiment which was again was amazing alright okay so we'll get back onto that because that's that that's the best bit but you've obviously done SAS who dares wins the TV show and how Wayne Bridge won the celebrity why not just for talking to you about how good was he be very honest he was awesome from the word go he liked all of them had some sort of mental issues that were older them back you know which we've we sort of pressed on to get into his head and sort of gays emotions out but he it was always positive to be honest he was it was super fit he was a mate he was a front-runner from the go where I but what we liked about Wayne as well was it was very much a team player he was never all about him he was always there to help around to anybody else but he what he was a very strong character and that's the thing about your I love watching your shows um but the thing about we're all carrying so much in our heads aren't we and it really as soon as you start putting people under stress physical stress like you do you guys it sunny comes out doesn't it and then when you bring them in with their bad actor with their hoods on they open do they all open up to you quickly yeah I'm amazed to be honest good because you know we've all got let's call it skeletons and we've all got something we don't want to talk about and it does amaze me that some of the stuff that comes out you know you think but what I will say about it is you know it's a real strength show of courage by these people to do that and I think they've wanted to get it off the chest for so long yeah and they really want somebody to force it out of them and that's what we do yeah because we what we're looking for is we're not looking for some super here we're looking for the true character really want to know what you peel back the layers and find out what you're really about and you can tell when somebody's in somebody's Enya writing something you don't want to bring out you see on the show and eventually it comes out and I am surprised sometimes what stuff does come out so we never know what's gonna come out we're not we're know nothing about these people generally what they're doing on the on the show is tough right yeah I mean even for you guys there's some of the stuff they're doing I mean you you obviously all can all do it because you've all been there but but it's it's tough it looks tough but it you know tell us it really is isn't it the stuff they're putting herself through yeah I mean sa selection in itself it's the the toughest thing I've ever done in my life mentally and physically what these guys are doing all right it's condensed into nine ten days yeah yeah when but it's full-on right and it really is you know I mean it's not it's not stuff as they say yes and actually no obviously yeah far from it but it really is tough they are they have the thing is they are is one of the hardest things for them is the unknown they never know when they're gonna be allowed to sleep when they're gonna be rushed across the mountains or you have no idea what's coming so they're always sort of trying to preempt what's going to come which again affects their mind affects their rest they're getting tireder and tireder every day and yeah we really punish him we push them to the limits the women have been put in the last series they were great how are now the British Army has said that the women can be in the Special Forces as well recently how long is it going to be before they're in I think it's gonna be a long long time off I'll be very honest however there are some really tough women out there I mean what we've seen on the show they've been amazing yeah absolutely amazing reality of the long-term and then sort of life in the squadron's right now I can't really see happening to be honest it may happen why do I start well I I mean it's just just that lifestyle and that there's stuff we have to go the uncomfortableness and the the male men are different but chemically we're all different you know we're all build different and women there's certain things women can do better than men can do that certain things men can do better than women can do living in saber squadron he's just it's a friendís he's tough you know you could could you imagine being having a woman and human nature you've got a woman there we do but we become protective of her but on why but we do it just happens you can try yeah you imagine you know a lot of stuff we do is behind enemy lines there's a good chance at some stage you were gonna get killed or captured a very good chance you imagine having your patrol the woman in the patrol and the woman gets captured the rest of the patrol gets away and we're all men but it would just he just wouldn't definitely psychological but the psychological wonders weren't all about yes physically every physically yeah there's some friggin stream yeah very strong and that women are mentally for strength Australia what I would say to you is I've worked with women in the SES for certain tasks and they are friggin amazing better than men so what I'm saying sometimes women are definite and we couldn't do what they do they are brilliant really and they don't get the credit for what they're done they don't even get talked about so I think there's a role for them maybe not in a saber squadron maybe yeah of women that couldn't operate in certain theaters they're definitely role there for them we've already doing it we're already doing it yeah you know it's Jason also made the point when he came back I asked in the sort of question is that the women at home as well your partner's your wives and stuff I maybe wouldn't like it either it's throat another not it's not necessary that way but it might just throw another you know another issue another issue into into already a company its life because it's suddenly you're dug into a hole for four days with one with a woman you know and it happens all the time I mean you know I remember the first time that you know they're gonna let rennes you know the females on two shops and mavey yeah you know ever reason well we know what's gonna happen here there's gonna be relationships form there's gonna be this and initially for six-month are obviously that they're being watched very closely to make sure after your period time you've got to settle down and get on with your I can't stop baby babies here and of course it happens then it goes up and then also relationships are formed you know smashing up families back home and all sorts of problems I guess over a period of time you know it could happen if they maybe I don't know I suppose it all settles eventually I remember the first time I heard about women boxing I was like wow this is Matt and then now I'm so used to it I think people get used to stuff doesn't earn it and an event she will get used to yeah yeah it's just a new concept at the moment it's a total new concept you know I'm all for you know equality women should definitely do selection go for it if they get get through fantastic it's just you'll probably get one in there so one woman amongst you know 99% guys that's that's difficult it's gonna be really difficult you're never gonna get the numbers I don't believe passing a seer selection like like the guys would you know 50 percent revision if you did fantastic but I couldn't see it alright let's talk about SS selection and you cuz you were obviously you've been through and you're responsible for putting people through it how soon do you realize somebody's can actually go through it how quick can you spot it RT well it's it you can tell pretty early the SAS selection is phase one is that what we call the olds it's a month of going over the mountains with a house on your back and you start about 200 a guys we don't the truth was we don't even look at anybody at that stage all right we just make sure you know we man the checkpoints I know what they're doing get on with it there's no point we know that 75% will be gone all right before the end of it so it's pointless we don't how hard is that that he's on yes it's hard yeah but having said that I mean I was fortunate enough I just come from the depot's I came from a training job where I was going out with young recruits in ten miles a day with a house on my back anyway yeah so I was pretty fit but I did pick up an injury towards the end and that will made it even more difficult it's hard because the the distances get longer the weight gets heavier and you've also got a responsibility you know by about the second week you're on your own you're navigating as well so it's not just a case of head down follow somebody you're not following anybody you following your compass so you've got a concentrate you got to keep your mind active and you've got to get from A to B in in a time and at that times if you're in one second over that time you was that kind of yeah you get to you get you get a red a red card basically and you get two chances I have two red cards you're off and how many times you're allowed to go back through the course you're like twice twice unless you've had an injury if you've been injured then you're invited back so you gets the the fact that you've been on there you can come back and do it again and to be fair if you got injured in the jungle normally what the the regiment does okay just come back for the jungle phase you've already proved yourself over the else you know so and to be honest when you do the earl's the amount the first phase there's a massive element of luck because if you get injured you ain't gonna get through it so going back to your question you know when it can you really identify people who probably got a good chance yeah when they get to the jungle that's when you really start to look okay so they do the hills first and also that's weather dependent I suppose as well to make it harder I mean if it starts raining and snowing and stuff if you do in the summer you got the disadvantage of you know taking on a lot more water and dehydration because it's horrendous still gets dark at night so he was still gonna navigate through the dark in the winter which like I did is around us you got the fast frog fire fast frost the miss the the rain it's horrible but for me I actually like that cuz he gave me the motivation to go even faster to keep warm alright but then you've got the disadvantage of is ability as long as you can navigate which I could so it was an advantage to me I enjoyed it okay so there's advantage and disadvantage to both times of the season of doing it and then you've got the jungle he's saying well this horrendous what he's doing in the jungle you basically learn survival how to soldier in the jungle navigation is probably the artists finger you'll ever do in the jungle there are no reference points everything is green everything is brown it's you literally from the minute you got the helicopter you count every single pace you take for the next six weeks you want to you don't know and if you get lost you know you could spend days weeks trying to find out where you are you could literally walk 20 meters turn around and everything looks different and go back at all in the wrong direction what directions more dangerous to a soldier nature or other humans when you're in their forces I would say is it probably 50/50 it's a 50/50 fray you know if you if it against humans that are trying to kill you though itself is dangerous yeah but nature I mean what you thought about this the other day we remember around Zimbabwe and weird guys stamp all to death by elephants oh yeah well that's just happened this week happen again this week I just saw it yeah but this happens you know and then again bitten by some horrendous sort of creature snail or whatever it might be and we have people injured and died and and all the other stuff that you have to deal with nature nature can be pretty lethal so you taught that all about which snakes are all right which spiders are all right yeah okay so in the jungle how long you in the jungle for for you for the trainee you're in there for five weeks it doesn't sound a lot but it yeah that's day in day out what do you what you carry in that jungle on day one you bring out with you all right even your poop when you don't on patrols you're pooping in banks and that got a nutburger nose when you leave nothing behind and it's hard and you literally you go into the jungle and you take week by week after the second week it's day by day after the third week is hour by hour it literally is and I remember at the end of it looking I think there was seven of us finished we started about 280 nothing and then went to the jungle we were about 45 by the final exercise I think there's about seven of us left all right and you're looking like a Belsen victim your stomach shrinks you you know you stink a piss because you sweat water in the ammonia into your clothes you literally you know it's it's really really uncomfortable but you just get on it's hard to get calories on board so hard to get calories on wall yeah it's hard well you food you're carrying we were you living off rations all the time anyway so you live it on one particular diet which is full of proteins and stuff you don't you don't have an appetite to eat right are you allowed to eat other stuff like in the jungle yeah animals and stuff you can yeah anything a donger Tom to catch it well if yeah if you catch anything there's certain plants you could talk about right you need and you do you take what you can you do your stomach strings and you lose a lot of weight was there ever a chance you were gonna give up no I don't think so I just I'll be very honest with towards the end I didn't care if I passed or failed I just wanted to get to the end of it there's no way I weren't gonna get to the end of unless they turn around to me get on the and threw me off it or I got injured or whatever so what's what's hardest the the the when you get to that sort of stage is it then physical or mental which one is again was it a mental so you've gone you know your body's just kind in auto pilot you just go wait yeah you know you've gone from sprinting to slogging along because everybody's doing the same let's see is it your job as the instructor to or the the yeah instructor for us is it your job to try and Paul even more pressure on these guys constantly to try and break them because you you've won the best I'll tell you this is the difference between this is the hardest thing about selection we have a policy of no encouragement no discouragement all right and what that means you think about it I mean the the most people in the military and like I did with the parachute you've always got somebody screaming shouting yet to get you to motivate you to get you moved here in times when you're really on your chinstrap and hanging out you know something's there to motivate you and it's do it car scream shout in the SAS you don't get another you get told okay this is what you're gonna do today this is where you're gonna go so you never really have an idea of how you're doing and now you know the people have sort of judging you it's all in your mind and that's the artist thing these self motivation right when you're exhaust here it you know it's so easy to go actually I can't be asking yeah and that's what that honestly the 90% that people fall by the way so because they cannot they've got the option to say it and they do it's exactly and don't get me wrong I felt it was self off you do the helicopter can think coming in and thinking I can just call it a day I've got my credibility I've got to the jungle no one's gonna judge me I could just get on there the cops are gone having a hot shower don't spend a week and honestly and really is keeping yourself cuz the DSS won't shelter you it's not like you see on this yokes right there's no screaming showing none the only time the screams show is when you're on the live ranges firing just to get that momentum going and build a bit of realism but there's no screaming to say keep going keep doing they don't they'll tell you what you're doing what the ones to do and if you turn or ain't doing it okay no problem you can wait over there get on the helicopter you're done that's it and these people and it's quite funny because we've all got this thing in your head where you how far you can go and we don't know how far that is all I kept saying to myself where I was gonna give up I felt like it and you sat in the jungle school and everybody's you can see every is thinking the same god this is hard this is a rendus and as soon as the first person puts his hand up it's like the floodgates have opened all the rest of them that have been doubting it their arms go up and then in one day no one's moved for about a week and you're also I'm gonna go and open somebody gives up and then also seven eight nine ten just go on a little been thinking it and likewise but there's just something else devil and the angel and your shoulder going devil's going on when you're in the jungle you are you not always moving then yeah you are no I yeah start off in the base camp where because you're learning you know you'll use like a call at the schoolhouse the jungle school asks where you coming each morning you know you get told or something that day and then you come there for lectures and stuff so the first couple weeks you learning how to navigate how to survive how to soldier how to attack able to defend how to do reconnaissance etc and then after the second week either now navigating through the jungle you're doing all these skills that you've been taught and being tested on yes and after the jungle once you've got through the jungle as that you're in you then go into interrogation Oh God is absolutely horrifying that's why we find you so inspiring you put yourself through hell for this job you know honestly it's you know you you do you have all these experts come and teach you proper survival you know what yeah we can live I know you can make a rope out of grass you know Ray Mears is all these people who've always and they get these experts come and talk to you about being in captivity and and then and then you get put on the run you basically get stripped naked put into this world war two clove in like an hour work violinist and set off on the run and there's dogs after there's Ella cops after you've got and you're navigating on a sketch map you know and people have to get you and if you get caught you're on the run for seven days you know you're on the run for seven days you've got no food you gonna live off the land so you starve in as well and then you know you've got a sort of evade capture if you get caught at all on any phase of this you're going into that interrogation for twelve hours you get rug to lot worse than you see on the TV there and then you're back on the run so you kick Oh every day so by the time you get to the final capture where you're now gonna get 36 solid of that put into stress positions being dragged around and humiliated and questioned and you got to stick to this story you know you probably you're totally exhausted I mean I was fortunate to get captured until the very end thank God and then you lose thirty six hours solid and it was the most a tremendous thing I've done in my life and I remember saying to myself I don't Karen or if we have to do this ever again I'm getting out what happens they just put you is it just putting under stress and stuff they actually interrogation but where the screaming and shouting are and asking pulling in tirana yeah I like that that was a break it's just you try you just try you know standing just stand up straight where your arms in the air right up straight and all that for five minutes you just try that Jesus Christ when you're absolutely you know you've had no food you've been on the run you've had no sleep and and then you kind of knees bent leading against off against which it's absolutely horrendous you know I Drive have a good kick and when you're doing that because you obviously had to do it how hard is it to do that you you know I suppose that if you're not doing it you cannot get in the right people yeah yeah again it's it's it's it's about do you want this do I want you cannot go and do sa selection are farted Lee if you go there thinking maybe I want I'm not really sure you won't do it you either want it you don't want it when you get aligned there or scalling then those rendus positions and he backs breaking you know you didn't absolute turmoil you just gotta keep saying self it's a passage in time it's a passage in time I will get there I want this and you have no idea what the time is so after interrogation it are you then in no so you then get fluent arrogation and it's a pass or fail it's as simple as yeah you know so let's just say you get through those phases you do well he's about it's roughly about a month where you get taught counterterrorism drills alright you know where you're doing the really all the black kid going through winders yeah shoot it over each of a shoulder is it and there's always a chance you could file that because you become you're not able to assimilate the information and react to it quick enough right stage you become a liability and dangerous and they'll go actually you really not cut out for it so unfortunately you although you've got that very far you're not cut out for this sort of and and this stage this is there's nothing really special forces about what you're doing it this is just a a a selection process to see if you can fit in that SF wall it gets even more error and dangerous once you get to the scorners you're really doing for real you know and this is real don't get me wrong so that phase now at the end of so at the end of interrogation is it's still yeah watched and the potentially I've seen people fail it yeah and then and then and then you're through it so that's no six months down the line Wow when you get through you must have a celebration then with you don't I mean you feel you know you like you pass out in the arm you have a big big parade and well done this is amazing yeah literally sit sat down and okay welcome to the regiment Neji Barry you're gone 2d scorn you go into so on so you're doing this and then you're in and by the way you're not allowed to tell anyone yeah yeah you're in it yeah is that right yeah it's say no it's your sworn to secrecy I know it's weird you spend all your army career trying to games the regimen the rest you live denying it which is bizarre you know what is the SAS the other military the British forces what do they think about the fact that it's become so you lot of all become celebrities really recently are they do they like it no they don't I mean it's even when I remember you know broads of zero books coming yeah no no it's the big wall Hodgins on everybody's been doing that's outrageous how could you do this how could you do that I've never read it I don't like to read any military books because I know you know it always seems to me that it's always buffed up a little bit you know the scenarios that are real just run the bits and pieces of so awful well that was a row akin but you kind of overall ii would izing stuff yeah so i jumped on the bandwagon as well and it is kind of look down I think it's been looked at better now and people are starting to accept it because really different well now social media everybody's accountable and you can find out anything about anybody so you're better off actually without telling secrets and and methods of operation which we should never ever do put over people's lives in danger that I know there's anything wrong with talking about some of that's already been in domain and actually I think it kind of gives credibility to it as long as you did not a walter mitty talking and telling lies I think it's it's it's not a bad thing mmm and I'm saying that because I'm doing it now and it was really hard to make that transition of going putting your head above the parapet and saying no I am SAS but the thing for me was when I left the military I went into a very high profile job anyway I was already my head read above the parapet you know I was in every magazine and all this and people who had bodyguards to the start yeah Tom Cruise yes Tom Cruise Angelina Jolie Russel Crowe you know all these people many many more but that was my job you know that used to job I chose and so I was in every magazine I never actually openly spoken admitted you know was SES but you could speculation if you're looking all these magazines was Andy's new bodyguard he's SAS or he's mi5 or for his Delta is this so people kind of knew roughly right I'm lost in the background and where the trans issues of me actually actively sales but yes I was SS and I'll tell you the truth whether this happened again was when I was doing the bodyguard circuit it's quite weird because every set everywhere seemed to ago I met all these people that were all in the SAS and not one of them could spell it I was like this this is bizarre all these people lived in these life that life that I've actually lived and now I'm trying to justify to my client while I should get why I should get the job and I'm not really telling I'm SAS yeah but all these people she's ridiculous and it was I mean I met ten bodyguards around the world that all SAS and not one of them would even in the army right this is it's always meeting lots and lots of these people so I thought my name is out there my heads above the parapet so I you know without not making it super public but when I was like looking for work and working with clients yeah I was in the SS and that felt really weird because some people are looking well you couldn't be an SS cuz you wouldn't say it so I was in a no-win situation you had all those bodyguards but found now weren't there a lot of that they've never done anything before oh no I mean yeah there was but that was living in that circuit of what I was doing you know but the training of the SAS it work to be a bodyguard is it the same is it the same skills I mean it's yeah in many many ways yeah it's because you know you're in I think about body gardens people's possession is six foot six V shaped big muscles and control people around well I achieve it's none of that you know and a lot of these bodyguards who are body guys believe that and they're not good at what they do standing there look what is here what do you need it's about your mind it's about understanding the threat understanding what I'm actually trying to do I'm trying to protect somebody motive thing I'm trying to protect is their image is that why is that why you took down Penelope Cruz that time you got tell that story was a physical quickly tell that story exist yeah I mean I working with Tom Cruise and I never met Tom before met him at the airport I'll give him a brief of what I wanted and like all everyone I work with they were very respectful your security if you say no or say yes this happens understanding I said to him I made physically up to grab you I have made got it no problem when I met him I I did the reconnaissance at the hotel where were stands about 200 people already there and geez I'm gonna handle this so I got all over the paparazzi girls goes hey he's a deal you know he's coming they wish they did I said well I'll take him to an overall tell unless you do what I ask you they went but what do you mean by that says well you leave us a big space to walk down to the foyer so we can get in don't create problems for us and I'll stop him you can get your photographs you went yeah okay deal I didn't know how else to deal with this so I pick him up brief him up on what was going on since there's 200 people the hotel already please don't get the car till I tell you we're not to tell you to get a car stun to my left hand side stay close to me if I have to grab you at any time I have to got it no problem well I get to the hotel this time there's 400 people at least it's doubled under my and so I'll get out the car I'm like and I have to spot the people I spoke to earlier and I said I warned you what the deal is I'm gonna take him somewhere else now and he was almost on command they all stood left and right the door like the partner the waves I've never seen anything like it and Tom looks at me and I look around for what has just happened so I'll get him out the car and we've not even chatted about all I know about him at this stage was he's coming over to spend a weekend he didn't tell me why he said I'm only here for a weekend he was filming the Last Samurai and then I've got to fly back to New Zealand I went okay great this is what we're gonna do you go I said I've got a number of meetings I've got this I've got that great that's all I knew we didn't have time to get the full details of who's meeting what he's doing yeah and so we get to the door wait get to the hotel and 400 people now but they all moved out the way so we started walking down the the empty line towards the door the rotating door which I was breaking up difficult to dealing with anyway and literally stopped about two meters from it turn around they don't get the photographs jobs are good and we're happy they're up he's evening some led bee's knees because he's all up and I'm just about a walking with him now into the door and for the corner of my eye just saw something blue the car blue coming right at me very close to me no chance to turn round so I grabbed Tom and I went to grab him around the shoulder grab me on the head and I'll grab this thing around the head and we let go through the doors to get him to the rotating doors and for the other side and as I've gone in front of me these two heads Tom looks at me this thing looks at me and it goes Billy meet Penelope in the elevator we're just laughing at least an arm say big denim hat finger I had no idea do you end up becoming friends with these people you were able to do that or is that crossing a line no you do you do become friends but you you know on a professional basis you've got to keep a distance right you have to know virtually everything about you know everything from the chlorine size to their sort of worries to their medical record you do and how much you could have been in the background that's where I found some of that some of the the showbiz yeah bodyguards a nobs cuz they're in the foreground yeah this is nobody went wrong for me go on because I was spending so much time with Brandon Angie right and if he read all the stories I had 12 at 12:19 I didn't it was me right basically in every now and again addict small teams around me you couldn't trust me because I'm not better than so I was getting seen with him so often everybody knew it was like for instance when Tom got to New York he was in every magazine he was on a heavy radio show on every TV so when they went to bed and I went off to do more reconnaissance I'll turn up at a place people go oh that's him he's the body so the new he kind of blew the cover I was I'm I was getting too close in terms of spending too much time of him instead of being at a distance you're absolutely right you know only to be in the background not in the foreground and it was that's what was happening so the image side of it was getting blown right I still was doing yeah the physical side of our newer you know how to deal with stuff it was just it became very difficult as he said so I'm too close to you know I need to step back bring somebody else in and I can do the planning from a distance and then big events so what people know him there I can be there but the everyday living the life I was living there life I was literally living in their house and I say to him Brad I need to move out even put an RV in the gutting like I had no private life either put the RV in the garden I'll just live in there and kind of debate that for me then I moved out to the hotel and they didn't like it they felt a little bit vulnerable so it was really difficult but yeah you've got to I spend a bit of time well not I've spent time I've got a couple few occasions I've been around the princes and their Security's very much you don't see them they're very much so and then every now and then someone will get a camera out and come too close to the princes and you just get these people and they're really polite which is nice they just say hey no photos thanks like that and they just and they just do it politely like that and it seems to work it's not like there's no arrogance - all right better and they just said don't really leave the princess alone and take pictures and it's kind of it seems to work that way it would be good going backstage back there about you know people perceive a bodyguard six-foot 6ky hanging out look at his cries you guys take him out then I've gone yeah don't know these people yeah yeah when we do did a lot of the military sort of bodyguard stuff and the in the commercial that's exactly how we operate yeah they'd have people in the crowds people selling programs who is a news for me okay and the Billy you know down there's a little bit of a not too sure about it so I'll go OK with my client I'm changing direction we're going all this way it wouldn't even question why they know I had him covered and that's I don't say it's all about the mind it's all about knowledge he's not about big arms and rolling around the floor if I'm rolling around the floor with somebody yeah I'm not protected Aslan how much is it how much is a life worth if you're a bodyguard obviously you're you you're signing up to put your life in front of theirs yeah the old would you take a bullet for someone no if I'm taking a bullet for someone I'm doing something wrong I'll try and avoid that Polly by knowing the knowledge of there's somebody out there with a bullet and you should be able to sort that out you can look into a crown for an example I do this at a time as you come down the crowd you can see every smiling happy smiling they're happy they're clients there as an example soon as you see if somebody stood in the crowd with a sour face and I don't care who you are when you're gonna do something untoward if I'm gonna have a fight with you and I'm not a bad fire I probably could maybe win this I'll still be on edge I'll still be on edge my my actions with without without me realizing it I'm getting ready to to come at you yeah I'm getting a little bit twitchy now I can stand back go a person there's acting like 70,000 people there are 70 people yeah happy look there's that guy there he's a he's now looking around you do actions you don't know you're gonna do and that's what you're looking for there's a security guard all right what about when you're going into speed back in the forces and I know you're going to do things where you've sort of rescued hostages and things like that but again you're putting your life at risk yeah for other lives it's not you going up again you're actually going yeah into a dangerous place that's that life's worth a lot to to us yeah is that why we're getting them out why how does you equate that as a soldier yeah I mean it because well you're there to achieve a mission the mission is to rescue the hostage that's our role that's what we that's where I'm getting paid to do now don't get me wrong you you look at the whole thing of this is about hostages usually have armed guards around them yeah you know exactly and they did yeah and we've still got to get them out we still got to do it it's got to be done and of course you know you're kind of in the answer the gods you've done as much risk mitigation as you can you put us much in place to secure your your safety and then you've got a girlfriend there's always an element of it's a pet there's a good chance I might not come out and I've had that on many occasions and to this day you know I stand there I go how the hell did I I don't know it's tough though because you're valuing that life that other person's life to be bothered to do is no other option I all sane life as an option and there are options and generally in a situation like that there is still options but they're not particularly good options you've got a goal with Ringo okay how can I make this to the best of my advantage tell folks it's different it's different right there's the enemy we're gonna go and kill the enemy too there's a life I've got to get out from the enemy it's a completely different mindset isn't it yeah and that's where you look you always go the option that you're for is the element of surprise right up in the upper end where it's a split second or wherever it's wherever it is that's what you've got to find out and work with and there's an element of locker there's an element of skills an element of you know like I said planning and mitigation you just you just have to go for it and how about talking about what you don't have to get away with all right talk about value of life you the one story I read about you words when you you actually gave yourself up as bait for a sniper I are a sniper is that right in Ireland Northern Ireland that is a horrific thing to put yourself in position to how do you equate that in your head well again it's all about trust now yeah I've got a bunch of camera camera aides around you who we've got a plan we know what we're gonna do and you say to yourself I know I did on colitis is this important enough I know madam I'll say yes it is awfully we get this right because this person's already killed 13 people innocent people it needs to be stopped before he's killing anybody else and I had the trust him and the people around me to I was a target to be able to react on the plan that we are to ensure that it wasn't me getting killed and again like everything else on that on the day that this happened was like it always does you know that the key in any of this is communications whether it's visual communications which we didn't really have verbal communications and technical communications and as he does soon as I stepped into the danger zone communications went down no yeah so I'm now going on instinct do what I call a ground and call this a day or do I go for this and hope for the best and it wasn't again being stupid about the decision I just knew in my heart this has got to be done and I felt secure enough that this is gonna happen and he did so yeah were you scared no I wasn't and that's not trying to be rule big and brave no I wasn't I wasn't scared I was a.m. I know what the word is kind of frustrated and angry our parents if apprehensive yeah that's what was I would just get this blog let's get this sword he's gotta be stopped we've got to do this so yeah are you enjoying your life at the moment loving it just got married again all my kids is you know coming together and I've got a new life going ahead of me which is totally reversed to what I've always had you know my head's above the parapet I'm now doing this TV and talking very much in the public eye but I'll tell you what I really love about it is it's given me a platform a platform to people actually listen to me now more than I ever did before you know because of the social media you know they follow my my fitness to follow my sort of ideas and the ways of trying to make things better so yeah um enjoying it why is your fitness regime well I tried to do something every day it's my fitness thing is my relaxation a each morning I get up I always want to get up on train each morning if I can do that it sets me up for the day I don't mind getting pissed that night didn't want to do off I feel like I've justified it if I don't train each day I feel frustrated a feel doing yeah yeah yeah I saw I have real problems like I keep on picking up injuries and when I'm not training or doing any form of exercise or my mind goes it's terrible so you really get down you know it's not like some mad you know run a marathon every morning I don't run anymore a jog but I enjoy it you know and I love training in nature not particularly big fan of the gym although I will use the gym if I have to and it's great I like being out in the fresh air jogging running using the fancy sort of step ups pull ups wherever it is I really enjoy it and it's great I don't know I'll train couple times a day forget the opportunity how do you know fifty three fifty four hundred yeah and now what about eating are you that you careful with your diet you're all right I try to be my missus she's brilliant she's writing to the health Elfi eating having enough vegetables for throat and always trying to start with drinking that's fact challenging her life trying to stop me drinking I enjoy a drink the problem at the moment is on this tour while we're talking around it it's always fast food junk and finishing lay and not sleeping probably just have to ride that wave you know I guess very much the military's hard life it's it's been living with binge fitness what I got a chance to Train if I've got a week so I go mingle I won't come out the gym you know I'm not trained I'm out there doing it and then also don't want do anything for two weeks elite alpha then also mean crap I'm not sleeping it's just yeah it's just that lifestyle you have to roll with if you're a young man or young woman listening to this now would you recommend a career in the forces in the military I still would it's definitely different now I think you know the safety precautions if you like it just sometimes a bit ridiculous the elephant safety can't do this anymore you can't be realistic about what you're trying to do it's harder I think it's hard to know and not all accountable yeah more rules in favor okay and this should be you know we should you know you're in a situation where you're making decisions are it's a split second no one I'll ever understand it unless you act you there does that affect morale on many people in there that you now have to be accountable even though they're putting themselves under that you know yeah at the situation where they could die we've always been accountable and you know rightly so and what people don't realize he's you know you mess up in the military you get punished probably three times get put punished by you unit you know whether that's thrown in jail for seven days or physically punished and whatever it is you think if done by the military police you know so you get again you get fined you get this you can point to Colchester and then you get done by the civilian police and we are all accountable and you should be we're not above the law that's sure it's just when you look at the situation now the sole Jeffster it's just it's just I think is disgusting that the government are not taking care of our guys you know we're not above the law and they're not really look the government pop people in us in these positions you know and the government should be accountable to you know more like what's going on now to deal with the families I mean it's awful that people lost loved ones from whatever the situation is but to use people as a scapegoat and that's what's going on sweets become a culture of scapegoat reason it's disgusting yeah if you're if you're a young man or a young woman and you were and you were getting into trouble at the moment like you were yeah but the rascal character when you were growing up is the discipline good in the military yes it is it really is it's everybody but did it help you it really did yeah yeah it did he kind of controlled me for a while yeah and and then he I mean I've always had respect anyway but he teaches you more respect yeah you really go back to old-fashioned values being in the military you know down to if you were on a bus and your son the Prince if it was an old lady get you get up and you know you don't see that anymore but the militia people do that you know the respect their elders their respect what people have done for us they respect the people that have allowed us to have the life that we have today and not just that not just in a military perspective in general life the one for polite the one we're coming to this interview but the one thing that always amuses me about when I interview Jason was he when he was started working in the civvie company and he realized people were lying in the company and he says it in his Berkeley said they said it was blowing his mind that people were lying because in the forces you can't afford to have you especially if you in the Special Forces you can't afford to have the person next to you tell a lie because you could be dead he's like these people are lying and he's like it welcome to the real world everything everyone's a bit of a knob hit you know I mean but did you find that at all when he came out he kind of realized you know there's there's a lot of bluffing goes on there's a lot of yeah and people spinning sort of I don't know buzz words to sound more convincing than the real you know I remember turning up at a meeting one time I was it I was out in I was in Iraq I've been in Iraq and I was I ended up in Kenya a long story so I end up at say a conference yeah which I was told initially oh she said a small meeting I walk into this small meeting which actually was a massive conference where all the oil and gas companies going back into Iraq and I just listened to people you know in very high positions just talking absolute I was like that's crap that's rubbish yeah and then I just I then got asked to do presentation which I was not prepared for it was all about security right I bluffed him away to a degree right talking about security pre deployment to Iraq in Iran pause no I'd lived and breathed it anyway so I knew it yeah I wasn't prepared for it and I just saw wrong with cops down and rolled it out and everybody so easily convinced mmm but then I realize all these people around the table we're all doing exactly the same this weird like I say the consequences in the military is generally life or death in severe civvy Street he's probably economically you know you know lose a lot money you may lose a task you may lose a job you may lose your job it's not you know you can't afford to be in the military and stuff we're doing you are the eyes and ears and you know and if you're you are paying with somebody else's life I could talk to you all day but we've come to the end to the interview we've got a few questions we ask all our guests let me run through them with you what one piece of advice you'd like to give our listeners that has been invaluable to your life to take negativity and it's not to be cliche and about to take negativity and not let it knock you backwards you know even with people Authority telling you something that is you can't do this just believe in yourself and go for it just just and set yourself a goal of getting to where you want to be and even if you don't get to that goal at least go for it and you'll definitely in a better position than you were when you started so believe in yourself and don't let negative people or you know things knock you back one of the best things I had was when I ended up on TV a good friend of mine Chris years later came up when I got apologized to you and he goes I said why he goes cuz I was the one who was going you're such a knob saying you're gonna be on TV look at Lovejoy what a knobby it is and he said you've done it and I said watch you every way this one I was on soccer I said what's your every weight with my son and we go guy he's great isn't he like that and I get and he said I have to admit I would just slugged you off so much I thought I was brave of him to come up and say that's it's honest of him and it's good it isn't actually wrong with that you know but when people you kind of look up to and you know the CEO of the if the comment saying well you're not going to go any further you're not going to get promoted and then because he's easy to go well if he's saying that it yeah I'm not going anywhere yeah but you just go alright what's it like being famous this is an interesting question for you because obviously you became celebrity and a couple of different ways one for being a bodyguard one for being on the in the SS two things I find really weird somebody saying you're famous and you're a celebrity and I asked you at the petrol station earlier I was filling up on this guy because oh you're that famous guy and all famous well-known he's probably what I like you now well-known you know a little bit glamorous for me I don't think is it nice that we want to know about your life it it's not our two worries nice is the amount of positive sort of reaction I get to it yeah you know people respect you know and there has to say the biggie get the more pillar but I love a knock at you for whatever reason yeah I haven't seen a lot of that to be honest but it is nice it's good and I enjoy and you know I'll try and do the well I think as I keep saying wearing all of you because you're doing something that we wouldn't do I can't imagine putting my life at risk I'd be too scared so that's why we're all we're all in or of what you do what's the biggest mistake you've made biggest mistake I made like anybody in life I mean Laura mistakes if probably talking myself out of going to the regiment at an earlier age I really I really regret it that I always fought it was a bit too young and not really ready for it clicked in your head then one day thought I've got to go in here and do this I kind of I got to the point where I was about to leave from one job to another job within the regiment regiment or do I really want to start this all over again or is this my time now to go and prove someone to reason or one of the SES is one all my mates had gone there it's but two I wanted to prove I could do it and I left in I when I was young with 20 to 23 year old for could I do this and I kept talking myself out of it that negative two people got are you too young and I said what I'm talking about now and I did maybe they're right and I wasn't then when I got to the regiment I got to the position of where I wanted to be I realized we need younger people here hmm you need a common younger to have a full of career right you know calm now I was 42 still going through walls and kicking doors and a little bit tired like you know well I could have been doing that five years before what what when you were the kid though young can you first go into the military what was the thing that made you want to go in in the first place I mean if you have bit of a tearaway why do the military yeah why do you think I want to go in there I think I don't know it was just something inside me said this is for you this is what you you gonna do I was loving I was not putting a uniform on I was love learning new things and challenges I knew it was coming and danger I guess the challenge of going to war going into conflicts you know Northern Ireland was massive at the time and having a conversation with my dad he was like really trying to talk me out of it I went no I want to go I want to prove myself and I do I knew I wanted to do that I knew the military's gonna allow me to travel and do that any life hacks this is a weird question I don't really understand this question right things like little tips to do to do to help you do things like a packing tip or anything else or well maybe I'm I go off at a tangent in a bit wrong but it's like people talk about training and I always say 70% of trainees is mental right and I always swear by whenever I'm training no water no food no music train 40 minutes and the reason being is when your mind is gone you know when it when we're gonna stop your body starts to work harder you burn off the fat quick and I might be wrong like it's work for me I like it's almost a Rocky Balboa scenario of raw material get on with it and I'm on lower no there's no water no food no music you want I wanted to feel the pain and your mind feel the pain when your body feels the pain it works on its fact it really alright and and and you feel like you've really achieved someone at the end of it if I'm listening to Guns and Roses on I've done 10 miles I'm not really realizing I don't it which is great you've still done it yeah when your mind is chun-yan I can I've gotta go I'm just forever I've gotta go you really and I'm looking at the heel in front of me yeah I've gotta really go dig out boy yeah I reckon that's why I like swimming cuz you can't I mean I suppose you can now but you don't you don't tend to wear things in the water where you can listen to me I'm sure those inventions now they can do but I don't I just swim and count as the lengths go on and on just feel everything cuz you can't do anything else I gotta tell you I've got twin daughters were 17 a couple of years ago one of them said we'd take me for a run I went yeah all right so let's go for a run as chunky a bit fitter they were playing county netball and stuff like a so they were we were gonna go for a run round the block and yeah we were gonna go fight a two-mile run or something like that and she went how do I carry my water like you're you can go to Mars without drinking water they're brainwash children into believing that turn up for school everywhere you go you gotta have water your body's fine the kids will get internet on the way around can you recommend a book mark Llewellyn's book that you've just got them yeah not trying to say this cuz he's model it's the underdog it's good yeah stuff we know yeah but you just forget about and it really he sends it to me and marks as mad as a fish I was a bit right and I said Mark I don't read books I'll be honest I'll send it in audio to me and I went to walk the dog and a fall I would listen to a half a chapter while I'm walking the dog and I said the dog by the time I got home I had to carry it okay was just kidding by the way a mark turned up with Billy and oh that's why we've got the book he said oh no here take my book he's gone off an out to somewhere so yeah so I'm gonna read that and then hopefully should I get him on the podcast as he could yzma eaters offer you be brilliant okay he's mad he's typically I would say nine Stein are I just there's the maddest of things but he's a very very smart guy I mean that is obviously it's it's just stuff that we know but we need to be reminded of sometimes achieving your dreams against the odds I'll get em on and we'll have a chat okay and the final question for you is what is the meaning of life and what is the meaning of life I guess is to to do the best to make the world a better place to do the right thing I suppose you've got to have that sort of mentality if you're in the forces because you know you're in the military because you are putting your life at risk for us you've got to think you're doing the right thing you not think you're on the wrong side can you no not at all you really haven't you got to realize it's not a rehearsal you've got to make the bill make the bill that the plate the world a better place than it was when you were there give something back enjoy what you've got you know cancel the invitation to a pity party every day and get on with life and enjoy it and you know do the best and enjoy it you still on tour all over the country you go on all the way through to are we doing you're doing every now and then you do September and yeah we take a bit of a break break after this month and then we've got a few in September if you're in November I think in October and then we've we've now started booking up for next year so we're gonna roll on for probably another year if you go to mark Billy Billingham uncom all the dates are there and the ability to put the tickets so go there and you can see where all the dates are they seem to be all over the country still so you'll be able to get to one close to you won't you you're still doing the bank yeah thank you so much for coming on this podcast really really enjoyed your company thanks like this really thank you cheers mate

Channel: Tim Lovejoy

Views: 112,040

Rating: 4.8406219 out of 5

Keywords: iMovie, Mark Billy Billingham, tim lovejoy, lovejoy, Dear Lovejoy podcast, Dear Lovejoy, podcast, Sas, sbs, special forces

Id: R0iDzCi792M

Length: 74min 45sec (4485 seconds)

Published: Sat May 11 2019