Mark 'Billy' Billingham MBE | SAS Star On How To Unlock Your True Potential (FULL PODCAST)

okay let's crack on and let's do it cool man well welcome to the show it's a pleasure thanks for inviting me on no worries man so we're today we're gonna talk about your career some life lessons and obviously the book okay now the main mantra I picked that from the Bach is always a little further yes does that mean to you and on more occasions as it really helps you in your life okay let me take you right back to where he first began when I first heard it and didn't realize was when I was 9 years old and I was a little bit of a rogue kid that got himself in a lot of trouble anyway on one particular incident an old guy I'll say an old guy about 70 75 who I tried to steal his heart which is mentioned in the book chase me caught me and rather than give me a good idea said listen come to my gym I want to there's something about you so that's what I did I went to his gym Believe It or Not 9 years old turned up at this downtown pub at 6 o'clock at night in the pitch black and in the winter because something said to me I need to go so I'll win and the old guy took me into his what was a gym which was actually a pod back room of a pub and he took time with me to teach me boxing and ieaves the first time I dirty yes it took Tom Horne so I'll explain what boxing was about and he said look it's not a sport brutally brutality it's poor man's game of chess it's about thinking it's about anticipating the next move be one step ahead always gone that little bit further and that's where the first time I really heard it and he was it used to always say always go I want to become adult and gold that little bit further you can do it believe it or not he can do it and he taught me all these lessons so that was the first time really I'd ever early and many many many years later and through my military career I try and join the SES and I see the prayer of the SES is always a little firm part of that prayer is always a little firmer so I've always kept that and I've always felt whenever I'm being challenged at the point where food player this time to give up that mantra comes into my head always a little further and it gives me that energy that drive and focus to go further than a four I could do it and I do it all the time even now when I'm out training I always go I push myself a little bit more and I still use that mantra to me it means everything and it really does ell me Oh am I right in thinking that your dog is called Alf because of a saying or it is because I love the name of as well Alf Alfie Alfred it's old-fashioned and I love it and it's a very British name I believe yeah and he's a British bulldog so he's called elf and he will always go that Leonce will make sure that perfect and you might you mentioned that story of stealing the man's hat which was one of my favorite stories in the book actually and you know you said you were ready to take take a hide in and he said there was something about you what what do you think it was what was that something he saw in you when you squared up to him I think I'll tell you what I think he was an old local guy who probably had a pretty rough upbringing himself and and I'm saying this because this is how I am now he probably saw although everybody the sort of older generation at time saw the younger generation like me as a pain in the ass and a problem to society which we look at kids today and say similar things he's probably had a pretty rough upbringing and maybe somewhere down the line each had somebody who actually took some time in him and what actually happened he chased me like I say and he caught me and I was fast at a time this guy was running it in an old you know trenchcoat type thing big old chrome be jaqen still caught me and he wasn't he even out of breath and I naturally went into a boxing stance I'd never boxed him alive I'd only ever seen boxing on TV with my old man sat there watching Muhammad Ali back in the day so I didn't know how to box had no idea but I went into this boxing stance and was like springing around on my toes and from there he just said look I think there's something about you and he I think he just wanted to give me an opportunity you probably didn't realize I didn't know what I was really doing I was just for I was trying to make an in the wrong direction and he's just one of these people with a big heart I guess and a big soul and he said look come to this gym and he literally said to me remember it's like it was yesterday keep the Hat he says keep the Hat but I didn't I threw it at him as he grabbed it was my opportunity to run and I ran but I just kept thinking about what I'm gonna go when I went and it was just when I was bizarre a small man's ever having said that I mean I'd have not done it it would my life may have been very very different because he really taught me a lot of things about discipline and respect and not just about boxing you know and yeah so it was a crazy opportunity but he you know I actually talked under my Shores at all people could you imagine today your nine-year-old son going out at six o'clock in the night without a phone on his own in the snow to meet an old man at the back of the pub that was gonna give her Heidi can you imagine that happening either wouldn't have another no of course you wouldn't I mean obviously times have changed but that's what it was and that really did put me and I've always remembered it's kind of lessons learned that's thick in my mind and the the book itself we had children too far ahead when I was writing the book and we could talk about why and how later on but the old man at the front at the star who I attacked I believe I've now become that old man at the end I'm now one of these people who wants to give back and wants to sort of take the time with the people our people don't want to work with mainly youth teenagers mainly who you know we will just see as a pain in the ass and a dreg to society so yeah when you were that that young boy then and you know you attended the boxing gym yeah fit fitness aside what what did it do for you them because did ice or fitness and discipline did it save you from social traps they deceive you know was there a turning point in your life today I'd lead you down a different path so to speak I just think he gave me some sort of respect for four people and it gave me a discipline because I was already even at nine years old I was getting little gang fights and thinking that was a thing to do to try and be this little odd man I was kind of making it established myself as somebody and without the you know using too much intelligence which I didn't have at the time I thought the physical side of it was I'm gonna make my name I'm gonna be able to have a name as a hard little boy sort of thing so that's what I for buddy he taught me all about what it really meant what box was all about what's what physical fitness was about using it to channel your energy and use it in a in a positive way so that's what it was all about he and I kind of grass those lessons pretty early so he wasn't just the physical it was a mental as well and you know it helped me quite a lot just to realize again out of channel channel might when I want to add anger issues which I probably did as a kid a train and I've trained harder and you know I'd take it out of the punch bag or do an extra friggin circuit of heart and lungs sort of training whatever it was so there's all sort of lessons that came from all that and still do today you know I'm one of these people who I can't have them a semi miserable day if I get up and I haven't trained I feel like that training in the morning no matter how hard it is is my release and my sauce my sauce set balance for the day it's all calms me down makes me think straight and really helps and I feel psychologically I feel as long as I feel fit on the outside I feel fit on the inside and the reason I do still train quite a bit as much as I can now yeah what while we're on that subject and I will come back to you Youth is you mentioned training in the morning is that you know is that one of the most important habits you have what what are the sort of your morning routine slash habits that you try and build into every day at the moment I think I try to do as much positivity as I can every day and Yellowbird this a lot now you know get up in the morning first we do make the bed make the bed start it and make it not just fro a quilt or make it and start and finish something and that's what we tend to do less of today you know you go to you try to attend different things and you if you look you achieve one start one finish one then start another finishing around and I don't do that every day I'd be lyin if I did but that's what I tried to do and that comes from a military regime as well of 27 plus years you know get up saw you kids out starting we bed so you club you know whatever you doing and have a structure for the day and then I tend to get on what I try to do is get up I make the bed go downstairs I'll put my sports kit on and I'll go out and train I don't have a drink of water I don't listen to any music I don't have any food I just train and against and this works for me it doesn't work for anybody else before these super PT Luna so tell me whatever it works for me okay a toll it's a psychological thing where I feel if I haven't had infantry I haven't drank anything all and burning off is the fat and the waste from the day before and that works for me and that's starting again it from a very very young age at the boxing club I went to after the nine year old kid stage where I got point to a proper boxing club that's how we trained it was like the old rocky days there was no music there's no messing around a shout in tuition playing games it was all training you weren't alone any water so he'd finished training you weren't alone any music and it worked and he worked for us he because she kept concentrating in the mental study you know your mind kind of made your body work harder that's how it felt he still feels like today so that's my routine I get up no food no water no music I train it might be for two minutes it might be an hour depends how I feel on that day and I doll again I'll go without mantra and I do and my wife will tell you I say to myself I'm gonna road walk and run and I end up running and sprinting and pushing myself even further and that's what I do and there come I'll come back you know spend a little time with with the messages and the dog and we'll talk about we're gonna do for the day we start doing our tasks we have a board we write out what we want to do we start achieving stuff each day whether that's applying at answering emails writing part of a bark doing our work doing our charity work working with the wife to weaver business out at Haiti and it's a full day and you know any kind of trying that's it you just work for that day and with a the routine of trying to making making sure that I've actually recently because of the situation we're in been training two or three times a day that slipped a little bit over the last week in art because without ovary stuff to be dealing with but but that's generally the routine start with Fitness do you choose wherever that may be and on a normal day we're always we travel a lot you know we have a charity our charities are in Haiti and and my wife's business out an ad so she may be out there I'll go out and work with her or I'll be filming or doing something you know and meetings in London etc so it's very different at the moment but yeah generally start with fitness and let the downfall it's interesting because we've interviewed your TV colleagues in Jay and Ollie and all he said a similar thing when it comes to his morning routine he used the phrase people are trying to change the world before they make me bed and is that you know is it a case of you know people always have these big picture things is there a case of you like you said just doing the little things together small wins first and then you'll build on that momentum it's exactly that me and then we don't be an old cliche and the recipe you can't build a house without the foundations mmm a build a foundation start with the basic stuff and it's a routine stuff and then build up build up build and work towards call it your goal if you want which is a bigger picture thing yes stuff that's gonna take it a long time for instance write in the book another book you know so through the Dale I sort of do all the stuff that I really need to do that is necessary around me so I can sit and concentrate on the main thing which may be that or maybe whatever it is you know whatever that task is you know drawing up a plan for a securities it's you know project or whatever it is so yeah but you've definitely the foundations building blocks and work your way up you can't just go straight to the top and because you get frustrated things and then all the stuff below you is not supporting you so that's on your mind and then he's diluting your sort of you sort of focus if you like yeah going but psycho yeah it is it's very very true you've just got to debate and it's repetitive making bed every day's repetitive the deaths in the SAS let me tell you I mean we it's it's an extension of your right arm as a weapon you know you have to be under percent you know efficient with that weapon and we will if we haven't usually for a week we'll go back to basics look you know stripping and assembling it cleaning it because we do because you have to you know we're never too good to to forget the basics so we always got this the same as most of the day now is about technology ok and and satellites and GPS and all the rest of it whenever we go to the jungle we go back to map and compass and pacing every single time you know and that is it so go jump in ahead so I jump back again so much back to foundations do what's necessary and then aim to into the into the zone that you don't really know a lot of where you're gonna put some time and effort into on on this subject and slightly jumping back as well to your youth when when you first joined the cadets as a kid what was it you were looking for out of the cadets what were you looking for at that time in your life and and ultimately what did you gain from just that experience then ok again a great question I know now it's easy to answer and I think I probably knew then but I kind of probably couldn't have answered it Straley was whilst I was at school I I didn't see I didn't understand what I was being taught I didn't understand why it was so necessary to understand where a comma goes or a full-stop goes or a sentence starts and begins I didn't understand why I needed to learn multiplication and then you know which I struggled with he weren't making a lot of sense to me because I was thinking where does this fit into my life I'd always had an interest in the military and at the age of 11 I joined the cadets og Riley said and while I was learning in the cadets was I was learning first day and I could see the practicalities in it I would just stop somebody's arm bleeding how to fix you know a broken leg I'll just save somebody's life how to give them after what this makes sense I could be using this every single day how to use a weapon out a stripper weapon learning how to read a map you know learning how to communicate with with certain systems that all made sense to me is all practical so that that was my sort of so I kind of dropped my schooling which I was wrong to do you know but that's where I I thought was the right thing and actually worked out for me without a shadow of a doubt where but when I joined the military I had to sort of go backwards and spend time doing my education catching up on the stuff that I did at the time before was not necessary so that was the reasons I kind of gravitated more to the cadet sanity to the school and because I fought what I was doing in the cadets really makes sense to me and he did and still does today and I've used those skills obviously a lot so and even today I mean I wrote a book you know and I will say to people it's amazing I wrote a book I've never even wrote a email but there you go as in it it's it's safe to say that you know you you experience them your doubt does early on and I think one of the quotes you say in the book I've got you and you remember here in the words I don't think you'll ever go anywhere well that's up to you and you also mentioned you thought maybe your dad was doubting you when you first made their career choice did this level of doubt and people underestimate in you did that drive you at all that I build in their ambition yes it did absolutely did you know no one likes no one likes to be told maybe the truth I guess that you ain't good enough or you can't do it and I'll be very honest with you and Elliott people say that well if you put your mind to and you really concentrate you can do anything that's that's you can't you cannot but what you certainly can do is do better and and and as long as you you have to drive and the enthusiasm and the focus you will be in a better place from where you're very started at you know I've been my dad my dad kind of doubted me well I didn't realize this till later on because he wanted me to prove to him could do it and he was kind of he knew the aggressive side of things wouldn't work with me it was the kind of the passive more you know firing that bout a thing across much my bells saying that while you ain't gonna make e you can't do it was the kick up the ass I needed to go you know what I'm gonna do this to prove it to me and to prove it to you so that that's what how I saw it how I read it and actually in my dad's case he was definitely right the right way and my school teacher mr. nunu's who I'm quoting there in the book he did he was the agency careers go and he he said to me you're going nowhere you you know basically you're nobody I just for I'm gonna assure you and I always remember it you know and when I was going through the odds hardships of going through training in the back of my mind when I was really far down if I can do this don't swings bounced into my head I ain't letting myself down to let my dad down I ain't gonna let him myself myself down to prove to him that it was right and he give me that extra little bit of focus and drive to go forward along with my mantra of always going a little bit and those psychological source components really did help me 100% without a shadow a doubt yeah and another another quote that interested me in the book is you mentioned when you were a cadet you were listening to the falkland stories and you were jealous and you said the quote I've got yours I wanted to be challenged I wanted to be in a situation where I had to make big decisions why did this idea of being challenged so hard why he was that so appealing to you again to prove that I was somebody to prove I was worth to people so people could you know turn to make a while you know what a quality sort of person but to be able to in that time of diversity and difficulty he's one of I wanted to be a leader I guess I wanted to prove that I am somebody and I know I'm doing it I mean even today though and and back then in the times of conflict and war that I've been through with the regimen stuff I've made those decisions and nobody knows no matter what experience whether it's a right or wrong world you'll know it's the right one by coming out the other end of it and achieving the results which thank God I did but so I've always wanted that challenge I always wanted can't kind of do it you know first time I ever went into any conference I was am I gonna be good enough am I gonna sort cower down or am I gonna stand tall and lead and go forward and I did and he was I do love those challenges so that was the reason for it just for self proof and to have people around me to believe in me and trust in me you know when you eventually were in those situations so you mentioned on you and your first stop I think you said it was in Belize a friend of yours or died and you said in the book this is my reality now what did that do to your mentality and was there any shift in mentality when you realize the severity and the reality overall yeah it's it's very easy to become complacent you know so I went through training as a young paratrooper and all my instructors who are looked up to were amazing people legends they'd all been to warded on and I'd heard all the stories enough from them from me in dollar a year generated a good story about something indirectly if he's telling itself probably but so I met real great people and I was fortunate enough to go straight through Deb for the first time the training and also to come out the other end as the champion crew so I kind of felt I'm a bit of Jack the light again I kind of got a little bit complacent for I know it all now I've done it all be taught by the best I am the best I'd never really cooked beans in conflict I've never really seen anything before I've seen dead people before you know you know people don't encounter a road traffic accident that sort of stuff that's part of growing up but I never really seen the the swirls of conflict or war and then somebody being killed directly or indirectly so when these things didn't happen in Belize and bearing in mind this guy that were talking about Benny god bless him was the first person we'd met from after training a person have been in battalion which we knew we were different it's different when shield in battalion and he was a real nice guy it really took time was sort of menses of life who took time with us as new guys explains without organ app and what to look out for what to be aware of and what a sort of doom and save for the first part of your career and just to keep it on the right track lovely lovely guy so I met him then disappeared went on this trip to Belize and it wasn't an operational tour as such it's if we had stuff going on we're carrying live rounds and there was incidents happening on the border so it wasn't a place where were classed as a conflict like today but he was it was real and I got out there I'd already been out there two or three months I've been on patrols in the jungle now I was getting confident I was getting a little bit cocky if I'm honest starting to fit in with the guys so again I got complacent before I knew it all and then out of the blue this incident happened you know watch the ellika I heard the noises and wonder was all about what's the helicopter come inland and as soon as I saw the body come off I recognized it it was a real grounding he just really kind of put me on my ass and said now you need to realize this is though this is the the job you're in this is a game URI that could be you one thing goes wrong you get too complacent a lot to say Benny got complacent he was an unfortunate you know situation but you know so he was it was a grounding and it reset me again it recalibrated me back to every days of school that year to learn listen learn and and you know use those lessons that you have learnt going forward and that's what he did to me so he was if there's a positive thing to come out of that that was it but probably not just me for a lot of younger people as well that were there at a time and when you personally were in vulnerable or high pressure of you know dangerous situations I imagine and I asked Jay the same the same question and so examples where you may be in a firefight or you may be under extreme pressure how do you maintain that level of focus and skill set when the instinct of a human being is the panic is it a case of you know relying on the skill set you built and just going on autopilot it's a kind if there's a bit that I'll be honest nothing every soldier will tell you the same number oh you are when you've got a situation in front of you you're out it's how you control which most nice percent 99% of them are because you don't know what's gonna you don't know you know what you're really gonna cook it you know you're in danger you know the people around you're in danger you know it's not a great place to be you've got to make decisions it's there's a there's an element of fear there even with us you know you might look stony-faced and the greatly and then getting stuck into but in the back of my mind I can I could get this wrong and I don't know if I am but I've got to make a decision and he kind of why I do what I have done he's just our kids our focus and mentality is unless you take a deep breath clear my head forget about the noisiest forget about the panic around me look what I see in front of me look what I need to do and start to make decisions what I believe are right and lonely not the right when you get to the other end of it most of the time they are right well I've been very fortunate they were right but so that's what I do sort of steady your mind steady breathing and just go forward think about what you've got to do and look keep looking at what you've got and look at options I don't want if this happens now how am I gonna do this we're gonna do that I'm gonna keep them safe I'm gonna keep me safe and he said it's happening very very fast now happens automatically now that comes with lessons learned in the past that you know the lessons from the old man what he said to me the scene Benny getting killed Barbara whatever he misses an element of everything it all kicks in at that time and you use her and you know you just sort of keep focused keep clarity and try to make good decisions and that's all you do you know steady breathing steady yourselves don't get caught up in a panic take a breath think and then you know adapt and do what you need to do it's about staying calm yourself breathing calm down you can't change you you're there do something about it don't go into panic guess I'll sit I mean I hope that answer it answers it for you but yet it's calm yourself down get Gary grip of your breathing get a grip of you your state of mind keep focused and then look with clarity and start making decisions start doing things you made the decision to go through SAS selection and you describe this as a different level you described as the Champions League yeah at this time obviously you you you know you already decorated you are your success as far as most people are concerned what was the motivation to take it that giant step further was it was there again the same thing if you won in a challenge yourself was it to prove yourself what what was it it was a bit of everything again yeah I wanted a chart I wanted to know could I be in the Champions League could I be run alongside you David Beckham's were in the military world I wanted to know if I could I always felt occurred but you don't know until you do it it's easy to sit back and say I was going to be this I was gonna do that I'm not willing people I want to know if I can so that was in my mind I wanted to do it I also I knew that the regiment from what I did know and from people that I did know it's a different league it's you work at a different level you work at strategic levels your small numbers and don't get me wrong the power regiment is phenomenal and they're awesome soldiers and solid you know the Marines and all the wrestling all the military you've all got your jobs to do the regimen is different you learn like so--you you work at strategic level you work on a difference sort of level of communication and intelligence and everything is real it's it's it's for you know not to say it's not really but it's this is this is massive decision changing stuff that you're involved in and I wanted to be part of that again I want it to be couldn't I be the person to make these decisions could I be the one that is actually I'm a massive influence on not just our country on the world you know in some of these places that you end up you you end up changing policies for the better for governments you end up you know saving lots and lots and lots of lives directly or in Dinah right indirectly and I knew that's what I wanted to be part of or what it'll be part of this sort of legacy this this you know unbelievable sort of where I knew where again there was many many people try but many many people fail very very few people actually get to that point I just wanted to know if I could be one of them people and yeah so all that mixture of just spots for grabs the reasons why I went for it and wanted to do it not just the challenge and if I'm right in thinking a lot of that took place not far from you the Brecon Beacons and you you went through stages like the endurance you mentioned the fan dance just for the people listening who might not be aware of SAS or action and was like where did it take you mentally did it take you to the darkest corners of your mind at the time it really did yeah I mean I think you had to break through all the doubts and all those barriers you know and he was it was down it was it really makes you realize it's down to you now this is where one of the biggest ingredients for SAS selection is self motivation it's not like any other course where you know you'll have some big instructor behind it screaming shouting pushing so that's where there's the reality the difference between the show that you watch a so dares wins and reality in the real selection there's no screaming shouting no one showed to you no one dragged her along none of it there's none of that it's all down to you going through those final barriers that you don't think you can do because no one else is going to tell you to do they'll just tell you get from A to B carrying a house on your back at this speed do it and you can if you don't want to do you don't do it so that's where I really felt you know I could you still there yeah look sorry my batteries just I feel bad she was about to die that's where I really felt that you know mainly it was a different level it was an absolute different challenge bully and again it was down to me and I had the option to say nah that's enough just walk away and I cannot I felt like I could all my head oppai but I just don't know I need to sort of push himself again a little bit further and go a little bit more so what else I can do so that was the difference that's what it's all about you know and you talk about selection as the isolation what a lot of people don't know is the ill that we call it the ills phase which is the Brecon Beacons that's you know a month plus of work where you end up it's a very small team to start and then your individual you're on your own from all of it and it's long durations he's heavy weights it's times and it's hard it's physically physically hard and mentally but that that really is there are as part of selections when you the next phase don't got the jungle and people don't realize that I mean you lose 70 percent of you people on the mountains anyway you don't really as the d s look at people until the deals are finished because what you'll end up with then is the real art core bunch of people who want to be there definitely want to be there and they're fit enough of course and this is when you start to really put on the pressure of the mental side of it you know working in the jungle and operating you carrying just as much weight it's exactly like doing that the thales phase the the Brecon Beacons Facebook hundra canopy is like doing it in sauna and being smashed in the face over too many steaks and bushes and stuff so yeah that's what selection is all about that's where the real physical physicals are is all the way through but the main part physical is the mountain side of it and then the the main really the sort of mental side of it is thereafter through the jungle and through the rest of the trainer or the people what did you discover about willpower during during that phase did you discover you know is there a finite resource that we have unlimited willpower do we kid ourselves about how much we have I don't even realize how much we have until you go and break those barriers until you you push it you know or your heart and lungs might be pounding and you sucking in air from you know from England if you're in Wales it's it's hard but you just as long as you as long as you mentally your mind doesn't give up you'll you know you'll go up to fruit berries you just didn't think you could do it the work you know that willpower comes with just trying just just push it in a little bit further without trying to kill yourself of course you know we've all we've got more willpower than you you realize it's just whether you're willing to chair whether you want to it really is you've got to go out there comfort zone nothing comes easy becomes easy Pauline worth having you know and you can look at people you know like like people look at the guys who come on the show and you get athlete's jeez they're the fittest in the world and oldest and have gone after two days because it's not one discipline it's a multitude of discipline then the main one is the willpower the one in it and the will to just at least go for it try it you know so that's the difference I think how important is self assurance to to all of us in in every area me not just in you know that's not we're not talking just or military or whatever everything everyone's goals how important is self assurance and the example I'll give you in the book is you mentioned when you're a bodyguard Clint Eastwood and you were in the biggest bodyguard around but you stood out to him because of your mind demands how do you knew you had that full back on and you were you were you were assured you knew that that was there and you were confident so how important is self assurance if it's very important it's really really and self assurance comes from experience knowledge and honesty you know you can't and I'll give another example of this if you've got you know you've got a knowledge of let's say first aid and awfully most people out and you come across somebody who's been in a bad accident may be shot I've more tend to run people in that situation that are injured and in pain aware that going to panic and if you're in panic and somebody is trying to help you he's very confident and very sort of calm it naturally helps that person that's injured and it's true you know I've seen people that have been in a real bad situation may have been blown up or shot and you know I'm almost in my head I'm thinking Jesus this guy's gonna die I'm not gonna tell him that and I saw you know I'm helping I'm gonna I'll stop when you stop whining you know okay your legs it you know I mean I come across as being very very sort of confidence which is the same sort of thing as self insurance you know having that confidence based on knowledge and you've just got to be able to portray that in the right measures without bullshitting you know don't don't waffle and try to be someone that you're not be very honest for yourself and and and confident with it and then and that gives you great self assurance and and it's obviously a very very key for sort of factor we've all Gauri's just about using based on knowledge and honesty now your this is a bit I liked in the book you're the only man to keep the Queen waiting four years for your fear MBE is that how focused and all-in you were on a career like yours where you just couldn't afford that distraction you couldn't afford to take you know that time off and take yourself up with our headspace at the time it was a bit of both it was a bit of I mean it was a lot of that I was focused I was very busy at the time and but what I was doing at the time was very important to me and I fought anyway well you know it's a mace a medal medals don't mean a great deal to me I'll be very honest and I was just like well I can go whenever I'm ready you know we should have been rude really but I look back and say you know keeping the Queen Wayne but I mean she was pretty cool about it she let me know that I kept awaiting and so did the lady in waiting of course but yeah so he was because I was very busy at the time very focused and for this it's not a priority for me to go and spend time down in London with my majesty you know and it wasn't to be derogatory a lot looking back and he's a little bit you know we're trying to be all big I'm too busy I was busy I really was busy and that was the reasons lying you know and then time slips by and I'd forget like I say I'm not it doesn't I'm not one of these who I need to be daiquiri I want this and I've got this and I've got down you know I just I'll actually forgot about it for a while for most of the year forgot about and so I got that letter again alright okay and then just unfortunate at the time they receive the letter again the time that you want to be there I was doing other things I was busy I was busy so what we've mentioned a few like willpower and self-assurance and and other things but what um military skills or mental traits or assets did you or have you been able to transfer to other areas of your life outside of the military I mean quite a few really the military teaches a lot about discipline and respect to key components in it no matter what walk of life you're in you know so understanding also you know the military it teaches you good sort of time discipline and how to sort of complete a task complete things get things done don't just say going to do it get out there and do it so when I transfer it out of being in the military obviously one of the key skills I had was security understanding surveillance situation awareness kind of sixth sense of knowing when things ain't right and you know you kind of get the Ackles on the back you know and we all kind of get it but most people just ignore it but in the military you get it quite a line you know okay this use there's a reason for this we need to stop rethink reach Eagles just check a few things so all those skills are transferred after the military and I use a lot especially going into security when I went you know as a head of security of celebrity people doesn't matter who the word but as taking care of people I realized all the skills that I'd learned in the military was still there to be needed they just have to be toned down a bit you know not everyone's gonna jump from behind a rock or a tree with an ak-47 try and kill you it's now the other problem is know somebody with a camera trying to take a picture of your private life that you don't want to or you know making sure that the client was comfortable of where they were going and what they were doing and on time so you used all those skills that you learned through the military you just told it all down to a lot less aggressive sort of man and use them that way you know just learning knowing from all my clients from the medical side of it I knew all their blood groups I knew all their allergies I knew all their issues and so I could react and be one step ahead of the curve and that was all stuff that you learn for the military you know and then when I'll go out a civil industry everything seemed to be very AXA Daisy column very on on Sakura you know yeah I'll be there tomorrow and then no one turns up whereas if somebody in the military general says oh you've told me be there tomorrow's be there so there's all these friends and all these skill sets that I learned all the basic stuff which I was able to use and to great effect just at the tone everything down I've been you know you've you've certainly tried your hand at a few different things and you know I wonder if that's because you have that thing inside you to challenge yourself in uncomfortable areas and and one of the adventures you've gone into is business the example you give in the book is is Sabre what lessons have you learned in business you know coming into it as as new to that field I mean one of the sort of things that I've struggled with initially both sorghum Hedren was sort of terminology you know lost leaders and you know depreciation only sort of words which actually very simple things it's just the way they in the business world they saw saying do things it's all common sense it's just about knowing what I have learned about it you know a lot of people kind of not there's not one expert that's one one certain thing I've learned through business although you might be the CEO of the company doesn't mean you have all the answers to be a good business person you have to rely on a team you have to give the people within your team the respect and the tools to do the job and allow them to do without micromanaging you know so I learn a lot about all that sort of not to micromanage not to sort of pretend that you've got the answers to everything to use their skillsets everyone mostly as opposed and and use all those sort of assets and sort of key sort of components to to your benefit you know for the same sort of focused your thing about what I learn about business was you know it's pretty sort of cutthroat it's all about profits and mod profit margins and you know it's the bottom line and it takes a little bit about getting usually it's not just for the love of the job it's about making money and being once to have step ahead of you so I come you your opponents that you sort of all your challenges and it can it can be a bit daunting at times in a bit sort of like so a bit cut pro it's not fair business is not fair that's for sure is again is challenging yourself in in those uncomfortable areas something you like to do because you am the example you give in you've tried your hand at acting in the gunmen alongside Sean Penn it Rachelle but all these guys that are just you know they're the most decorated of actors and you you are in your first role it's that something you like did you like the challenge of that did you like the fact this scared you made you feel uncomfortable I did yeah I know I like diversity I like someone know you know or could even spell actor and then also know that I was in a freaking film like you say and it was fun I enjoyed it I didn't feel undoped ain't comfortable with it all the time you know one of the great things about that though the easy things for me so I'm no actor I just played that part you know but I mean I didn't do any acting classes I didn't it there any acting school and nothing like that I just I bought the realism to the program I mean Sean wanted other films Sean wanted knew me from working before together you knew what my background was he'd see me work and he knew I was professional and what I did and they wanted to add that professional side a bit which was the knowledge I already had so it's about me fitting into what that using the skills I had and looking the part doing the part or adding my sort of knowledge and you know I didn't have to be a great act you know yeah I enjoyed it was fun it was just me having a camera stuck in your face was a bit weird you know you almost start to become play up to it a little bit that was awkward it that took a little bit getting used to and they're a little bit uncomfortable and also to get like two minutes of film he could have took six hours that was kind of frustrating awful you know not my world at all although it was great fun I did enjoy it and I probably never say never want to do it again prob possibly yeah but yeah he's just different it was just he was just different than he was just took a little bit again used its some the sort of spheres you've been in they act in for example um or you know bodyguards are the stars they can you know they have their rewards they can be quite rewarding positions but maybe you didn't find that meaning that you found in other jobs you know some people would be happy to you know kick on from a role like down and pursue that career and without being you know wholehearted gone behind it some people would be happy to you know hang out with Brad and Angelina's they body garden and Coast like that but when you decided you know to step out with us fear and and do more meaningful work with charities and things was was that important to at the time finding meaning and purpose and more you do yeah it was I mean it was you know I did the security there's a string to my bow I did these or planning in the acting start sign of it another string to my ball and it's easy to kind of probably the wrong word to use reach your ceiling and then just stay there in that comfort zone I don't like that he ain't joy doing it was good fun bright yeah and absolutely nothing maybe a flashback to write from the star like said the old man was a guy you probably had a rough upbringing had a rough time was given an opportunity and wanted to give back there's always a great feeling about giving back you know it's like winning the lottery seems somebody that's less fortunately knew put a smile on their face from you Alpana me it's just it's it's priceless and you know I absolutely adored it and my more I feel lives and breathes it and you know getting into the charity work I've always been involved in charity but I really started I didn't really understand me and a lot people don't what it really means and how to do it and how to do it right until you have to do it do it and do it properly and I went out to Haiti to well-filled and Oscar is why I went and and donates in hospital and awful that's it that's it that's my bit done but it's not that's only the beginning of it you know you went out went out then really realize what it really means so it's about sustainability it's about dignity so about giving people not just a small sliver of water shut up given the full opportunity you know don't just give him a month's work because that's meaningless to it know it to end it's useless to anybody it's actually more damaging them than good it's about giving them an opportunity to be able to stand on their own three three with longevity given people you know dignified living wage or whatever it is you give them but giving them the full benefit of something that you might have all been able to do for them so yeah you you know you mentioned that the Haiti earthquake involvement as you've done work with a handy poaching is helping people important to you what you call them and why is it so important to you yes it is because you know I grew up that I'll tell you why because a saying that I use a lot is no matter how bad things get there's always somebody worse off and it's true you know it's not a nice thing to say but it's freakin true you know like people wind you damn whining about being in isolation oh come on you know you've got food you got electricity you've got water you've got this people you know in places got no food on everything and make the next day the next week got nothing you know and I I came from a pretty poor background you know I didn't have a lawyer had all my shoes out of steel she was at it whatever but and I just fought it's I remember what I went through but there's people going through five hundred times worse than me and having been having the experience of the regiment and the military of traveling around the world and seen this we might with my own eyes and see how people suffer the normal people suffer just for it's it's not right you know when we have so many billionaires in the world today why the pocket we've got people kids we know food it doesn't make sense why does anybody need to be billionaire what does anybody need on an island when there's kids that can't get education there's old people freezing to death you know in a winter it's just wrong and I just feel it's a great feeling to be able to go and if you can help one child one old person one person doesn't matter what religion culture you know if you can help one person it's just we should be doing it you should you know we've really this world now is it's all about again me me me and and everybody having having the way way too much too many clothes too many electrical things so - there's no need for it when there's people with nothing and I mean like I say troubled and seeing it and still seeing it it's it's just you know it's it's what I want to do and I know a lot of people do it anyway and want to do it we should be doing it we should be helping people less privileged than us on the in the spirit of giving back and helping people your vaak here that the hard way one of the things I liked about it I've read a lot of books by a lot of you know personalities and it's really easy to write the book and just tell your life story but what I liked about your book is you've tried to build in lessons and you've tried to make it relatable to to other people's lives not just military life's you've tried to you know there's a lot of lessons anyone can take from the book it was now one of the motivations when it comes to it - right in the hard way yeah it was it was about me with the Stars it was nothing about that it was about lessons learned that's what life is really about it's about okay what did I get wrong and what you know did I get right and let and I know what I do my talk to people about a massive percent of that audience got that child that he's talking about he's very similar to mine and it gives them the inspirations and make a well if he can do it I can do and that's what I'm saying I can do it you can do you just got a you know believe in yourself and push yourself a little bit and just go for it I've got the courage the balls the conviction to go for it and don't get me wrong you know a lot of things that I've tried to get to I didn't get there but by trying opens up all these different avenues I never once again in anything to do with TV but these have anews opened up because I was trying to get somewhere else and you know everybody should be able to be able to do this it's not about look how good I am it's about the lessons learned and passing on that knowledge to people like yourself people like you know who do read you go well you know what I can relate to that and take something from it and I think a lot of people do and especially I do the talk so I'll go a little bit more in-depth on certain things and ya can relate to that and that's what it's all about and that's what the book is about it's about this you can you know I've been very lucky don't get me wrong and I've been very fortunate to have this support around me we've you know the people around me and I've worked on as well and you know it's an absolute privilege to be able to put down on paper and say look there isn't you can do the same sort of thing and Nick you can't so I have I have two questions left view one of them being with the book now and um you know impact in so many people's lives through the book and it brings up the question of mentors to me I mean mentors don't have to be people you know personally they can just be people who lock up to and learn from it and you undoubtably will be a mentor that to so many people who have read the book and can follow the journey are there any mentors that you lock up to you know try to I take lessons from all sorts of people it doesn't have to be famous people you know you know I learn from from my wife I learned how to be understand charity from because she had the knowledge I I took lessons from um you know I kind of back and what I just said there Clint Eastwood one of the nicest people's ever met I ever met you know people knowing Christie's Clintons because they lacked it I look beyond that and I met him and I just the way he was just like I'm talking about they're one of the nicest people and we just treated everybody the same he treated people oh he wanted to be treated and he meant it when sponsored people and he took time with people he wasn't just passing the time of day it was great so yeah I'll then let people on that from certain politicians you know come out some good stuff some bad stuff so yeah I've got a lot of mentors still say they appreciate every day's a school day is there's always you can learn from a lot of people from this rush you know with the other if you watch my show on now the celebrity version so many celebrities on there not just some of the candidates as well you know I've learnt a lot from them from what they've said what they have seen what they're doing and yeah so a class you know I guess everybody's a mentor to a dig to a degree it's just about cherry-picking what's relevant to you what's beneficial to you that you can use to be beneficial for us we've talked a lot about you know life lessons mentors mantras to pass on to people if you were given an opportunity to just pass on one message to every person in the world something you'd want them to learn what would your message to them be treat people the way you want to be treated and never look down on anybody you know you don't know what they're going through you don't know what day the VAD you don't know why they're acting the way so just be patient think understand before you start making criticisms and decisions so don't look down on anybody and treat everybody like the way you want to be treated fantastic where can our listeners by the book and follow you and connect with you on social media you can follow me on Instagram Facebook and the book you can get on Amazon or on my webpage you want it's signed personally with a message that sort of stuff yes so any one of those connections they're perfect mark thank you so much for time it's been I really enjoyed this conversation I hope you have - I have blows yeah it's been great me thanks a lot for sharing your thank you buddy take care

Channel: Freedom Pact

Views: 9,815

Rating: 4.9064326 out of 5

Keywords: sas who dares wins, billy billingham, mark billingham, billy, ant middleton, ollie ollerton, jay morton, jason fox, podcast, sad, who dares wins, channel 4

Id: PQ7sVdbsB8c

Length: 55min 1sec (3301 seconds)

Published: Sun May 17 2020