Cupid: Dating Myths - Dating On Target #1

all right all right it's good to be with you guys then like starting a little series with some Beyonce what so this is cupid and the reason we're calling it Cupid because we're covering dating myths and so cupid is it's a roman mythology you know Cupid was Venus's son and anyone he would shoot with the magical arrows would fall in love with the first person they see and so as I thought about kind of where we're gonna go tonight this weekend I renewed my CHL if you don't know what that means it's Wow okay Laura make note CHL illustrations more are those okay I'm scared all of a sudden so that stands so those in the dark concealed handgun license hopefully that's what you guys were cheering about not some other CHL so yeah went renewed that's something my community group did about a year ago or I guess it was more than a year ago anyways it just expired and so we had to go back and renew it and so we met up and I was reminded of this story we were kind of talking back the the first time that we did it and so if you don't know you're shooting at a target that the target looks like this you have to go and do a field trial and so this is this was mine and it's so kind of it that's not impressed they've got everybody's look like that and you're not shooting that far off you're kind of you're kind of this close you know and they're like okay you know fire five rounds like boom boom boom boom one two three yeah anyways and then you know fire two more boom and then you you go and you know load it up again and then fire some more rounds and kind of at the end you fired 50 rounds and you get graded you know they have to pass and everybody's kind of target look like this but there was this girl there that was helping the helping the the kind of the coach the teacher of the class the instructor and she was a professional shooter okay and they had told us that and we kind of heard about her all day long people were telling stories about how great she was and ain't so kind of towards the end of the that time I was like man all of us we're like hey we want to see her go you know can can she go and and there in the guy the instructor was like yeah sure hey you up for it and she's like yeah and so they put the target there on these electronic things they put the target way back and so she's like this way like this far even farther back than this from the target okay and and so she kind of takes aim and they're like you ready and you know she's like yeah and she starts shooting at it boom boom and while she's shooting she's walking like this boom boom and then kind of sidestepping boom boom boom and just rapid firing these rounds and walking towards the target and I'm watching and I'm looking at the target and I'm thinking oh no she's missing every time and so I'm in my mind I'm thinking what I'm gonna stem like well hey you know that's really hard you were moving you know and it's harder than it looks didn't it sweetie you know you think Heather these things and and I'm like you know what AM what am I gonna say like we're all sitting there like this is embarrassing and so they kind of and we were you can see the target plain as day there's no holes in it right and we're like oh no and so they bring the target she's like okay bring the target back I'm like you don't have to do that I can see there's no holes in it you know and they bring it back and I don't know if you can see from where you're at but there's a little target up here you know there's a little one up here I didn't know it's that's just how they score it and evidently evidently she was shooting at that one I had yeah I had no idea we're like whoa why so they brought it up there Ellie you're good look at you you've done that before huh sweetie I'll just tease I'm just kidding yeah and so here was the problem is the problem right we were watching this we're looking at the wrong target we're looking at the wrong target and as I thought about you guys you're considering someone you're in the season alive for you you're starting to think about someone you might spend the rest of your life with and you guys know my heart's burning for you like I love young adults I trusted Christ as a young adult man I just I made so many mistakes in my life that I bad decisions not mistakes but bad decisions and in my the cry of my heart I think is to despair you as much as I can I think all the time I like what would I have listened to what would I have listened to like what would have got my attention because I think is you guys are looking for someone or considering someone that you might spend the rest of your life with I think so many of us are looking at the wrong target we got the wrong target in mind and there's an the reason that's so important is because you know this is something that is going to affect the destiny the destination of the rest of your life and you know everyone here knows people who've done it well and people who haven't done it so well and I just think I think if we can just reset if I can get you to believe me not so much me but the wisest man ever lived not so much the wisest man ever lived but the one who created all things if I can get you to trust it I think that we can redirect our sights to the right target and everyone can leave here tonight with just a little bit better of a trajectory as we consider what might be next and so we're covering myths every week and I think this first myth is just the idea of love at first sight the dating myth of love at first sight and you're like whoa no you don't even heard my parents story or my cousin story my Uncle Bob story no let just just hear me out but but I want to show you tonight just this idea of what happens because love at first sight what is that it's trusting in a moment our feelings and following our hormones instead of logic and moreover logic actually God's Word what God says the one who created all things who was crazy about you who wants what's best for you what he says about this and so tonight my hope is I'm gonna take a real logical approach at this if you're here and you're married I'm stoked you're here I need your help because you're gonna be the one with the perspective that can say hey right no trust me right there's we just know there's some things like I remember there's just some things I would not listen to as a single person but yeah that's cute you know yeah but you're married you don't get it you know and so I need your help if you're here and and you thinking hey you know what I might be called to a life of singleness if that's you great I'm glad you're here listen and learn from the Scriptures so that you can minister to those around you but if you're here and you're single over the next four weeks we're gonna open the word of the creator of the heavens and the earth and we're gonna read about what some really wise people have written and all I'm gonna ask of you is that you would trust it and if you will it will help you the remainder of your days not only that but I think you'll love God more and have a greater understanding of how God loves you so right now so so here's the problem as I see it the way that this deal dating originally started so a guy would pursue a woman for a reason so I want to show you how we got so far off because right now we are so far off and you would you see the lens of dating through the world that you were born in which is very different today than it was even a century ago make a very very different even two decades ago and so this is how we got here originally a man would pursue a woman for one reason you know what that reason was not love but a family he would pursue a woman so that he was a means to a family to pursue a relationship with her they would get married and they would a family this is God's first commandment of Manas Genesis 1 be fruitful and multiply fill the earth this is the first thing God asked man to do ok and so a man would pursue a woman for the sake of a family and so in 1896 the word dating is introduced and dating is actually in 1896 introduced as a euphemism for prostitution okay it literally means exchanging things or money for sex and so if you went on a date with a girl that meant that you you sought out a prostitute that's where the word comes from in in the first century I'm sorry in the turn of the 20th century so in the beginning of the 1900s if a girl was caught alone with a guy through that event she would earn a reputation okay people would think that she was either loose or working true story okay so then we go into the 1900s and now you have the intrud the introduction of media which is a major influence now and so over 1 million ladies subscribe to Ladies Home Journal and that begins to influence the way women dress the way they saw themselves and the definition of beauty in the 1930s the date outside the home was born with the invention of the automobile here's what this means prior to the 1930s a man if you wanted to pursue a woman you would start with her father and you would ask if you can come into the home and then you would date her in the living room that's where the dates happened prior to the 1930s now with the invention of the automobile this idea of this euphemism of prostitution it really takes off because what happens is wealthy guys have cars and so wealthy guys can go on dates and so there's understanding the more money you make the nicer you dress and the nicer car that you have the more beautiful girl that you can get okay an idea that has been you know magnified today and there was a understanding that the greater the date you could expect some sexual favor in return true story this is the history of dating and then in the 1940s this was like full blown out there was just an understanding of in exchange if you went on a date and basically what I just said in the 1960s the dating lifestyle of society led way the greatest social decay of morality in the history of singleness in the Western world anybody know what it was the sexual revolution you and I still stand under the consequences of the sexual revolution this radically altered the sexual landscape of our nation and now sex is seen as an experience and so what happened now is people began to date for an experience this should sound really familiar to you because people don't date for a family anymore they date for an experience manic highs manic lows an adrenaline rush or some sexual pleasure in the 1970s playboy is placed out in plain sight in convenience stores abortion is legalized and now this is allowing for reproduction to be removed entirely from sex we talked about seeking pleasure without the consequences in a message the problem of pleasure that's what's going on now in the 1970s in the 1980s the Internet is introduced and pornography is made available to everyone and again sex begins to change which in turns begins to change dating and now in the 2000s everyone has a mobile device a smartphone in their pocket pornography is no longer two-dimensional images its videos of the act and this perversion is magnified and beauty is changed what is beautiful is now different it has evolved with the turn of every decade Beauty has changed do you understand you understand what I'm saying like this is the simple truth I'm hitting you is a very logical truth you've been told what is beautiful you didn't decide on your own you don't know what is beautiful you've been told what is beautiful and so now the reason that we date is is for an experience girls often date for emotional acceptance to feel that someone wants them guys often date so that they can you know feel that adrenaline rush even if there's no sex or any kind of physical thing involved just feel that adrenaline rush around a girl and so we date not for a family before an experience and so I'm just telling you this if we could change this target what we put our sights on we'd be better off and so the way that we combat myths is with wisdom the way that you can batch lies is with truth and so we're going to turn to the book of wisdom this is the book written by the wisest man who ever to live the wisest man in the history of the world and so these were proverbs that he wrote down but also proverbs that other people wrote other kings wrote that he kept for himself this particular proverb was written by King Lemuel and specifically King Lemuel is reflecting on wisdom that he learned from his mother so this is wisdom from a woman we're gonna be in Proverbs 31 ladies I know that many of you have a love/hate relationship with proverbs 31 okay I get it some of you are like if a pastor ever recites proverbs 31 to me ever again I'm going to throw up and others if you're like oh look it tells me exactly this is great and so I know there's all kinds of mixed emotions but I'm just telling you it's God's Word and so we're gonna look at one verse we're gonna camp on one verse tonight it's this proverbs one thirty thirty one thirty you got to do tonight is believe this verse that's it believe it's true charm is deceptive beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised if everybody in here believe this verse every you'd save yourself a lot of time and heartache frankly you'd save me a lot of time in heartache if everyone in here just believed this verse and so let's start my first point is charm is inaccurate I say inaccurate because we're aiming for the right target charm is going to take you off target charm is inaccurate and so if something is an accurate you can't trust it the scripture says charm is deceitful what does that mean deceitful means to be misled by false appearance okay so it looks good it looks appealing but it's deceitful it intentionally deceives okay I can remember I was I was brand new married that was in my first year of marriage green as all get-out I was a Christian I did believe that Christ died for my sins and God raised him from the dead but I was a brand-new baby Christian and I still had a lot of old habits on me okay my wife goes out of town and I go to dinner with a friend and so he and I are sitting there at dinner and these two girls approached us two very very beautiful girls something that I was not accustomed to beautiful girls approaching me there I am and they say hey and I talked to one and she says can I buy you a drink so Witsel is aggressive okay can you buy me and so to which I say married to which she says I don't care and I'd love to tell you right now what I did isn't like jumped up from the table and ran to my car and burned out of the parking lot but I didn't I didn't my heart was flattered I was like calm still very green still very immature ISM oh you don't care still got some old habits and I believe is that reflecting that moment one thing saved me and it was something that somebody had told me and they said hey that woman she wants to destroy you she doesn't care about you man she's just looking to feel loved she needs someone to help her feel loved and so she wants your wife to hate you your parents to hate you your friends to hate you your wife's parents to hate you your brother-in-law also your best friend to hate you because you would have one moment of fleeting pleasure do not be deceived by her charm and that message rang true in my head and I thought for a moment I thought oh you just need to feel wanted and I remember oh you want to destroy me and that memory I believe saved me from that moment proverbs 6 says it like this verse 21 for these commands are a lamp this teaching is a light and the corrections of discipline are the way of life keeping you from the immoral woman from the smooth tongue of the wayward wife do not trust in your heart after her beauty I'm sorry do not lust in your heart after her beauty or let her captivate you with her eyes and so I'm telling you ladies the charming guy can't be trusted either you do not trust charm right they want to destroy your marriage before your marriage ever happened so I don't care if he's calling you and leaving boys to men on your voicemail and seeing an usher to you and reciting Romeo and Juliet and he wrote a poem to you okay you don't trust charm right you don't trust charm that's not what you trust you don't trust your feelings your emotions or your hormones okay charm is deceptive it is fleeting and it is the selfish pursuit of an experience so when someone comes up to you and remembers it's no longer about the family so when they come up to you and they're charming just say I respond with this thing yes you put it how many kids you want to have that will usually solve the problem right there okay that's free man that's free let's talk about dating websites for a minute okay I won't be here long but evidently he's hot topic a lot of people say hey will you talk about this so let's talk about it for me Matt I don't know I mean there's that there's not a there's not a - out naughty harmony you know in the scripture all right so what I do here's what I would tell you be wise make sure your community is aware those around you and aware and here's what I would tell you this is a game where you want to remove the the disadvantages okay as quickly as you can any kind of disadvantages between you and where you're going you and remove those disadvantages and I'll just tell you that everyone is cooler on the internet right and so everyone is cooler in their profile than they are in real life and technology puts advantages between you and so let me say this to you guys stop asking girls out by text amen yeah I got that I got that article sent to me like 16 times this week so I read the article we're good and guys were good like just don't do that anymore okay cuz that's that's lame we're good we're gonna move past it that has nothing to do with my talk that's free - okay my second point tonight love at first sight is a mist remember we're talking about this target and so love at first sight like I saw her and I loved her I saw him and I loved him he had this six-pack that's not gonna be very long okay love at first sight is a miss the scripture says beauty is fleeting that's all its it listens oh yes that beauty is fleeting by the way that's true historically biologically scientifically beauty is fleeting you're tracking with me what am I saying we're all getting uglier no no no I see I just get paid to speak truth like it's just true guys everybody thinks they're here though I'm gonna be the hot 50 year old no you're not not one of you statistically not one oh you don't understand what workout no you're not you're not gonna workout you're gonna hurt your joints in the gym and you're not able to work out anymore that's what's gonna happen it happens over and over no no I'm gonna get plastic surgery okay listen head that works out maybe for a little yell about ten years on that okay it's fleeting it's going away it's diminishing okay and so what if you who are you what what does this say about the guy who walks through the porch who sees the girl goes up to her and the the hot girl right goes up to her and ask her for her number who what does that say about you it says you're a sixth grader okay your sixth grader it says that I know that what you have is vanishing I'm not looking for a long time I'm looking for a good time what about you I'm not looking for a long I don't know anything about your character I don't know if you love Jesus I don't know who you are where you come from but I know you look good and so I was wondering if I could have your number okay I used to do that in the sixth grade walking through the mall just being authentic here so if you invest if you invest in fleeting things like anybody some of you are in the financial world if you invest in things that are that are fleeting it's diminishing returns you're losing money from day one but if you invest in godly character it pays dividends the rest of your life the rest of your life it's just good investment that's just good investing okay and Soviet ladies this is what I would tell you you want looks that last and what I mean I'm not talking about Botox or facelift or boob jobs I'm talking about looks that last looks from him that last a guy who looks at your character he's going to look at you like you're beautiful the rest of your life when you're beauty fades and it will fade he's still gonna look at you like you're beautiful you want looks that last so don't attract them with Botox and a boob job and a facelift and a butt that looks good in those jeans okay because those things are gonna go away and when they do he's gonna go away and you don't have to trust me so that's a there's there's like a part of me going in tonight then I'm just like man they're just not gonna believe me and I said I actually prayed through that I said yeah they're not gonna believe me you said no they're gonna believe you maybe just not tonight so that's the piece I have in this message every single one of you are gonna know it's true one day every one of you are gonna know it's true and so ladies you get a guy with your good looks you're gonna lose him when those looks fade and the problem with that is is I think a lot of you ladies when you hear me say that you you think you should you don't think oh yeah he's right you think no I'll just stay looking good good luck with that first Peter 3:3 says your beauty should not come from outward adornment period you track with me so you need your beauty should not come from outward of dermis just in the scriptures black white it's not even complicated like I don't need to exegete the Greek on that your beauty should not come from outward adornment you leave here like my butt look good in these jeans no it shouldn't come from outward adornment but from something inside and I know you're tired of waiting on those guys and you see the girls getting ahead I get it you're tired of always being the bridesmaid never the bride I get it I don't really get it but see that I said earlier you've been told what is beautiful and it's just true because like in researching this message like it's evolved like there was a day you know even when Song of Solomon was written when like super fair-skinned what was what was most attractive like like the fair your skin no matter what your ethnicity was the fair your skin the more attractive in slightly plump and I don't know how else to say that but that's that's what was attractive okay and so like in that day in Solomon's day if you'd have told him there's to be a Palm Beach Tan on the corner they would apply what that's great why would somebody pay to get out there you know is that was that was that was just the day right it's evolved you've been told you've been duped media has told you what is beautiful and so as it is evolving do you let me remember the the anorexic look of the 80s in the early 90s and now where it's headed and I want you to hear why where it's headed I think the more of what is going to be the epitome of beauty is now kind of the porn star okay the huge kind of unnatural curves if you will if you're tracking with me there that's what's going to be the epitome of beauty why because men are telling you what's beautiful why because you're letting them okay because as they say hey this is what we like you say okay this is what we'll give you and you said with jpg that's because I'm tired of waiting and they're winning and trust God okay if I didn't know anything else about God I know one thing I know that we can trust him you can be with him a lot longer than you hear and you could pursue him I love him and find satisfaction in him which I know can be difficult in seasons but I'm just telling you he's just telling you a relationship built on beauty won't last what how do I know this we can pursue this with logic like God said it but I can answer I can respond with logic because who are the most beautiful sexiest wealthiest people alive where could we look for that Hollywood who also has the highest divorce rate let me just read a few Ryan Phillippe a risk reese witherspoon Brad Pitt Jennifer Aniston Tom Cruise Katie Holmes Chris Robinson Kate Hudson seal and Heidi Klum Oscar and Tamika Foster Kris Humphries and Kim Kardashian Charlie Sheen Denise Richards Guy Ritchie and Madonna Marc Anthony and Jennifer Lopez it's a really long list ashton Cukor Demi Moore Kuchar and Demi Moore Katy Perry Russel Brandt Peter Wentz Ashlee Simpson Jessica Simpson David Arquette Courtney Cox Tony Parker Eva Longoria I can go on and on it's a really long list I'll stop right there you track with me how does that work they're the sexiest wealthiest most beautiful people on the planet how's it working out for them like if it was about that we would turn to them and say look how how great their marriages are that's that's what I want right so sometimes people are beautiful because they're at the center of their world I sometimes he's got everything kind of stacked up right cuz he's worked really hard for that the reason he's worked really hard for that is because he likes the way it looks in the mirror he's at the center of it sometimes she has everything stacked up just right right she's at the center of her world I'd be really cautious about that okay and then sometimes some we pursue that because we want the experience let me ask you a question just throw out there it's sex better with a beautiful person don't shout out your answer yeah my guess is the room would be divided you you can just think on it I'll tell you I here's what I tell you this is the truth and lean on marriage is better with a faithful person marriage is better with a committed person with a person of character all day long some of some of you are so addicted to the experience that you've got some really bad habits and so you watch the soap opera and you say I want that like I like the drama it's it's really crazy but I met enough I met with enough of you to know this like your life in a way that some kind of subconscious or way you can't help you are addicted to drama so you have us what's called a savior complex and you see him and you know that he gets in fights and he's no good but some reason you wish your heart was it you're attracted to that and in some people maybe he even gets in fights with you maybe he gets physical you and you're attracted to that and I'm just saying hey something's broken something's off and I'm not calling you out I'm saying hey we're here to help you all I need you to do is get the courage and say hey I missed something off of me man I'm not tired I'm attracted these guys know good for me will you help me and we will and some of you guys like you go after the drama queens okay most of you know you run from the drama queens but some of you you're like I like that she's crazy that's what I like demonym says it like this one of my favorite theologians I can't tell you what it is I can only tell you what it feels like and right now there's a steel knife in my windpipe I can't breathe but I still fight while I can fight as long as the wrong feels right it's like I'm in flight high off of love drunk off of my hate it's like I'm huffing paint and I love it the more I suffer i suffocate and right before I'm about to drown she resuscitates me she really hates me and I love it some of you heard that song you like yeah that's true but this is this is what the scripture says this is what the wisest man ever to live this is what he wrote it's gonna be of all I'm gonna go in order okay starting with proverbs 19 verse 13 a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping proverbs 21 verse 9 better to live on the corner of a roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife proverbs 20:1 19 better to live in a desert this is straight from the word okay better to live in a desert then with a quarrelsome wife and an ill-tempered wife proverbs 25 verse 24 better to live on the corner of the roof than share a house with a quarrelsome wife it's in there twice proverbs 27 15 a quarrelsome wife is like a constant dripping on a rainy day and then we get to this proverb where we're at today as proverbs 31 it's called a wife of noble character and it says this a wife of noble character who can find she is worth far more than rubies and so when I'm calling you to what God's Word is calling you to with someone who loves you very much is calling you to men women aim at godly character aim at godly character put your crosshairs put your sights on godly character and so what does noble means it's not a word we used a lot it means having or showing qualities of high moral character such as courage generosity or honor okay these are what you look for last Thursday I picked my little girl up from school Presley she's in kindergarten she's five and she's telling me about her friend Avery and she's like daddy Avery taught me this and Avery taught me that and do you know what infinity daddy Avery told me what infinity means and you know this that and I was like well oh cool you know how long have you been friends with her and there's no Avery's a boy oh man okay it sound like y'all talked a lot is is Avery your boyfriend no Presley do you have a boyfriend yes I can't breathe what's his name I don't know his name it's funny when you're five you don't you don't know that that names are important in relationships but what I'm saying tonight is I think when we're 25 we still don't know what's important in relationships well we're 35 we still don't know what's important in relationships like gods we're just says plain to me black and white it's just like it's plain as day right charm is deceitful beauty is fleeting but a woman who fears the Lord that's what you want find you a woman who fears the Lord what does it mean to fear the Lord it means the obey his commands that's what it means to obey his commands it means to follow his command let me tell you like this ladies a guy the reason that he'll put his hand up your shirt or down your pants it's for one reason he's not scared of God that's it's the only reason you track with me the reason he said hey can I come in and you're saying no he's like come on listen it's because he doesn't fear God okay and ladies its back on you too if you say and if you're inviting that in like it's it's only one reason so god I'm not scared of you I don't need to obey your word you don't know what's best for me all all it means to fear God is to trust that he knows what's best for you that he sets you here and he's given you rules that leads to life but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised guys don't believe this one of the reasons that guys don't believe this ladies okay and there's I'm not I don't mean to come on hard at the ladies I mean guys are yell at you all night but ladies one of the reasons that guys don't believe this is because you don't believe this like you can nod right now you really huh yeah yeah and then you're like man I wish I had her body so you don't believe it man I wish I looked like her comparison the thief of all joy I'm stating in comparison is the thief of all joy you lookin at man I wish I had her hair wish I had her eyes I wish I had her chest I wish I had those legs you don't believe in no you ever that man I wish I feared God like she does you know I wish that I wish I knew the word like she'd I wish I was committed like she is so let me just clarify some things and we'll wrap up history doesn't disqualify you okay so I don't care if you've had 127 sexual partners had abortions I that doesn't disqualify you Christ makes you know we know that and so history doesn't disqualify you but your reputation does okay and reputation is not today right reputation is a season and so you want to walk faithfully for a season okay I'm talking to you guys too like I don't give you man maybe you maybe you've been a player a cheetah you're not disqualified but it's time to surrender everything to set the crosshairs on Jesus say Jesus I want to follow you I believe you died for my sins I believe you covered them there behind me that doesn't that's not who I am anymore my identity is now and you and I'm gonna walk as a new creation Paul writes I'm gonna walk in a new life I'm your son I'm your daughter and so some of you you hear this and you want a day but you don't need today you need to take a season and you need to pursue Jesus and as I say that you you're saying your heart might be saying to that I hope he's not talking about me and I know he is so like let me just say this again some of you you don't you don't need to date right you need to go out and kind of mark in your Microsoft Outlook calendar like six months or a year and say hey I got I'm gonna take this time and I'm just gonna pursue you and I trust in your timing you know that you'll ignite that in me or allow me to do that again through the context of community and the wisdom from others okay but some of you if if you are ready this is what I want you to do is a real simple application it's a fun application I think you're gonna like it okay it's this simple guys if you're here and you're like man I love Jesus I'm ready today this is what I want you to do okay just simple I want you to think of the most godly woman you know this simple think of her who is she the most godly woman you know now this is assuming you're not in a relationship I know some of you are and so if you're in a relationship you can kind of audit your relationship based on these values and so if you're here and you're not in a relationship you think you're the most godly person you know okay most godly person you know guys I'm talking to you now I want you to ask her out that's it I'm not not ask her to marry you just ask her to coffee and you can ask her for this perfect I mean I want to know kind of what you know how did you get godly like what makes you godly and how do you trust God and just get to know her and ladies this is for you now if you're here and you're not in a relationship if a godly guy asked you out okay if a godly guy asked you out and you know he's godly I want you to say okay yeah we're going we can doing coffee one time we can do I will get to know you better right and so what I'm saying like guys are like well I want I want a tall girl a short girl blonde girl brunette girl blue eyes right once you throw that out the window for a minute and set it on godliness okay godly character if a godly guy asked you out I just want you give him a shot it's one day okay now if he's not godly okay let me say this first if you don't know if he's godly like you say well I don't how do I know he's at the porch that does not mean he's godly okay and so if if you don't know you say this you say you know what this tall goofy guy told me that if you're godly that's we'll say yes and so I don't know if you're godly so I just need some time to kind of figure that out that's it it's that simple you look him in the eyes you say hey you know what I don't know you well enough to redo that and so I just need some time to kind of check your references if you will he'll love that okay all right now if he's not godly what do you do then you you said you make up an excuse a well I can't because I got to go change my sock drawer no you don't okay you don't do that now listen this is important ladies cuz because a lot of you have missed this so I'm gonna give you some good sound wisdom here if you don't think he's godly you tell him that Oh what another you want me to be truthful you look him in the eyes and you say no and you say here's why I've seen some things in your character inconsistent with that of Jesus and so I I'm not interested I can say that you couldn't be honest that's what you're saying I can't I can't be honest that's crazy ladies you can be honest I think we've taken this word submissive some being like I can't be truthful I want to empower you to be truthful okay you can be truthful that's it that's the application tonight every I mom I'm serious this week every guy here like next week y'all should be on a date everyone here should be on a date at the porch okay if you're here you're ready to date you asked you think of the godliest girl you know and you ask her out and you said JP I want both I want beautiful and guy like you say like these maybe it looks like they feel like well well I mean I need to be attracted to her to spend some time with her now you don't need to spend some time with her to find out if you're attracted to her remember them like I'll tell you some of the healthiest marriages I know their stories like man we we were serving together and I wouldn't understand him at all but now it's like this crazy healthy marriage sometimes guy just does something okay let me say like this we just we just invite you into the preclude a household okay so so we'll go last night so my wife she's sick okay he's kind of been going around this this flu-like thing and and so my wife is sick my three-year-old is sick okay and so like I mean stopped up like just no energy running a fever okay we got a we got a four month old at home okay and then we got a five year old at home and still my five year old right like like she has to she's in kindergarten she has a homework assignment she has to write a book write a book literally she has to write a five-page ABC book on animals do all the animals Illustrated and everything and so I'm sitting there do I'm sitting there trying to help her do this Monica is like hey can you pick up Weston westerns crime I pick up Western I'm like hey you know I'm doing that beatbox thing that sometimes I'll post on Facebook I'm doing that and he just projectile vomits all over me okay like the nasty sticky white stuff hits me right here and runs down my shirt MiG and I'm grossed out by that by the way okay so like I'm not the cool dad Oh take him take him take him and so Finley's crying because she's sick and Monica's not feeling well and Presley needs help and now Weston's crying this is all happening last night okay and then we go to bed let me tell you something Weston's teething so he's not four times last night four different times and when he wasn't up my sick three-year-old she's up and so they were trading off its like they communicated hey I'll get up and then when I go back when they go back to sleep and you start crying okay and so then she's right okay Finley okay and then a Western okay you're okay now Finley okay so we're doing that let me tell you something I don't need a trophy wife I need someone to go to war with me you tracking with that I need someone to step into battle with me like that's that's cool and all you know hey that was that was fun you know you look good in a bikini but now it's time to go to war okay I just got bothered it on you know and I'm just telling you it's logic that is where you're headed okay and it's funny because the family we no longer value that I'm telling you in America people are getting married exponentially less than they ever have and they're having less kids so much so they're saying in America won't sustain itself because people aren't having children why because we're selfish and self-absorbed more so than we ever did we're pursuing pleasure the more more than we ever have and listen to this one this was the most interesting we're the most depressed we've ever been do you get that it's logic we've shifted off of God's values it's that simple we say man I want it I want to be about me and it ends tragically see some of you guys some of you guys know guys pursuing God the girls like man what's he doing she's not that hot what's he doing with her you think he's missing the target you don't know man he's drilling it he's hitting that little character to the up and to the left just killing it okay let me pray yeah I think they're wrestling with this right now you love them more than I do even and so father in your Holy Spirit and your power would you take that what is true and would you stir it in their hearts and not let them shake it like some of them they know that they're dating someone no good for them and so what you give them the courage to have that conversation tonight say hey man we're done here some of them have made compromises if they need to ask each other's forgiveness and I pray that you let them do that confess it in the context of community and move on to higher ground some of them know that they've been pursuing the wrong things and I just prayed that that in your power you would help them reset the sights reset the scope aim at the right target and father for all of us I pray that we would push through Christ more than a spouse even my married friends even you know us help us to pursue you more than our spouse that you would be ultimate father I thank you that we are all going to be well married one day your perfect bridegroom your perfect son help us to hope in that that's just what you guys need to hear as some of you I know that you forgive in every stupid thing you've done every wicked thing you've done if you've trusted Jesus died for it that's what it takes I know there's some wack theology out there saying some other things but it but it's this simple he died for all your sins or he died for none of your sins he purchased your way to God and if you trust in that then you're a new creation and the crazy thing about new creations is they do new things and so said instead of being tempted to pursue yourself and person tempted to pursue those things that have brought death to your life pursue new things pursue the abundant life Christ came to brings John 10:10 it's from the scripture okay and so I just want you to leave here remember the application don't forget it move the crosshairs to the right thing godly character okay godly character remember you guys can ask questions on Twitter and we'll try to address them in the next four weeks we'll do our best to I love you guys going peace to love and serve the Lord

Channel: The Porch

Views: 19,063

Rating: 4.8333335 out of 5

Keywords: jonathan pokluda, watermark, Community, church, theporch, dating, dating sermon, Wisdom, Advice

Id: PQB-jccL87c

Length: 45min 47sec (2747 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 25 2013