>>> AND IN MY OPINION, THAT'S
HOW WE MAKE THE FIRE GO AWAY. >> OH, WOW, THANK YOU WOW.
TO CONTINUE OUR CAREER DAY PRESENTATIONS, WE'LL TURN IT
OVER TO MALIKAY'S FATHER. >> I HEAR HE'S SUPER OLD.
IS THAT TRUE? >> I DONT KNOW.
HE'S A DAD. DADS ARE OLD.
>> I DON'T KNOW, HE'S A DAD. DADS ARE OLD.
>> GREETINGS, CHILDREN. I'M MORDECAI'S FATHER.
HELLO, BOY. YOU LOOK WELL.
LOOK AT YOUR FATHER, BOY. LOOK UPON YOUR FATHER WITH
PRIDE. >> I'M LOOKING AT YOU, GEEZ.
>> ALL RIGHT. MR. PARNASSUS, WHY DON'T YOU
TELL US ABOUT WHAT YOU DO FOR A LIVING?
>> CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW, CHILDREN?
SO, MY OCCUPATION IS OF MUCH IMPORTANCE.
FOR 82 YEARS, I HAVE BEEN AN OIL MAN.
A "BARREN," SOME HAVE CALLED ME. NOW WHAT DOES AN OIL BARREN DO?
AND THE ANSWER? CRUSH YOUR ENEMIES.
GRIND THEIR BONES INTO DIRT. MAKE THEM REGRET THEY WERE EVER
BORN. >> OH, SICK!
>> WOW, RIGHT INTO THE DIRT. SO, IF THE KIDS WANT TO PURSUE A
CAREER IN OIL, WHAT KINDA TRAITS WOULD SERVE THEM WELL?
>> WELL, OIL IS NOT FOR THE WEAK.
IT IS THE EARTH'S MILK, AND ONLY THE STRONG MAY SUCKLE AT
MOTHER'S TEAT. DO YOU HEAR ME, BOY?
ONLY THE STRONG. LOOK AT YOUR FATHER.
LOOK AT ME. >> LOOK AT HIM, MORDECAI.
>> DAD, THIS IS EMBARRASSING. >> ONE MAN CAME CLOSE TO
BREAKING ME. H.R. PICKENS.
HE DID NOT SUCCEED. FOR I CRUSHED HIM INTO THE
GROUND. >> WHO IS H.R. PICKENS?
>> EXACTLY. >> HEY, SAMANTHA, LET'S STOP IT,
OKAY? YES.
WELL, MR. PARNASSUS, THE OIL BUSINESS, IT MUST BE PRETTY
LUCRATIVE, RIGHT? >> OIL HAS LITTLE TO DO WITH
PROFIT, MA'AM. OIL IS ABOUT DOMINATION OF THE
SPIRIT. ALLOW ME TO DEMONSTRATE.
CHILDREN, POINT TO THE WEAKEST IN YOUR CLASS, AND WE SHALL RUIN
THEIR SPIRIT, AS I'VE RUINED THE SPIRIT OF H.R. PICKENS SO LONG
AGO. WORD.
>> YOU ARE WEAK LIKE H.R. PICKENS.
>> FEEL THIS, BOY. UNDERSTAND THE PAIN.
YOU THINK I WAS ALWAYS THE PICTURE OF STRENGTH I AM NOW?
>> NO, DAD, YOU COULDN'T GET OUT OF BED FOR A WEEK 'CAUSE THE
MATTRESS WAS TOO SOFT. >> MIND OVER FLESH, BOY.
I WAS BORN SEVEN MONTHS TOO EARLY.
INCUBATION TECHNOLOGY WAS STILL IN IT'S INFANCY.
SO, THEY PLACED ME INTO A CAST IRON POT INSIDE A PIZZA OVEN
UNTIL I WAS RIPE ENOUGH TO WALK. MY BONES NEVER HARDENED, BUT MY
SPIRIT DID. BE STRONG, AND CRUSH YOUR
ENEMIES. >> WELL, THIS HAS BEEN
OUTSTANDING, MR. PARNASSUS, BUT UNFORTUNATELY WE ARE STARTING TO
RUN OUT OF TIME. OH, BOO.
SO, DOES ANYONE ELSE HAVE ANY QUESTIONS FOR MORDECAI'S DAD?
>> YEAH, YEAH. I GET THAT YOU'RE AN OIL BARREN,
BUT WHAT DO YOU ACTUALLY DO? >> SO, PERHAPS I WAS NOT CLEAR.
LUCKILY, I BROUGHT A VISUAL AID WHICH WILL ILLUMINATE THE INS
AND OUTS OF THE OIL INDUSTRY. ♪♪♪
>> OH. >> THIS DEAD BIRD REPRESENTS
THOSE WHO WILL WISH YOU ILL. ONCE PROUD, FLYING HIGH ABOVE
THE EARTH IN BLOODY DEFIANCE OF HER 50 GIFTS AND NOW YOU WILL
THROW HER DOWN, NOCED AND DEFEATED.
>> OWW. >> LOOK.
I MARRIED YOUR GRANDDAUGHTER, FILLED HER BELLY WITH MY
FESTERING SEED AND SIRED A BOY. HE IS MY FATEFUL REVENGE, H.R.
>> DAD, COME ON. >> I WANT TO BE YOU WHEN I GROW
UP. >> AND SO, YOU SHALL.
NOW, CHILDREN. I WAS ASKED TO BRING A HEALTHY
SNACK, SO JOIN ME IN THE HALL FOR SWINE LIVERS AND CAPRI SUNS.
>> ALL RIGHT, KIDS. GO OUT AND EAT THOSE PIG GUTS.
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪♪♪
