Connection Not Perfection - (Oct 13, 2018)

[Music] as I said last week please don't take this the wrong way but I hope you did your homework sometimes I don't I don't hear it much late lately years ago I would hear you know why don't we have a midweek service and my answer is always most of the people don't study the one service we have why would I put more information out if you're not studying what we put out you know it's there's a lot that goes out on a Saturday a lot there's no way anybody's brain is capable scientifically of taking it in it's impossible and if you just do a little test and if you go home during the week and watch it again just one time and you take out a piece of paper and a pen and write down all the points that you see that you just didn't see when you were sitting on Saturday you'll be flabbergasted it's not like one or two it might be you know 20 or 30 and then if you study that and then God will show you something that he didn't show me there's plenty of information to help disciple you and Lord more than enough you have for a whole week to study so I had asked if you would please try to read John 15 1 through 11 during the week yet I want you to understand that they are there are no two theologies doctrinal theologies in this room that are identical there's a lot of things that we can agree on obviously there's a lot of things we can agree on but then there's some things in the scripture that are hard they're not so easily identified and some of us not some of us all of us have preconceived notions some of you been in the faith so long but you're you're confident about your doctrine and because you're so confident it can't be changed and I'm not looking to change your doctrine the Holy Spirit's looking to change all our doctrine if our doctrine is off but if you are convinced that that you're not you know what I give an illustration I remember when Bruce Lee became very popular when he first came from China and he studied under under the best the it man and when he went to LA and he started to play in movies he became very popular all the greats wanted to study with him Steve McQueen and Elvis Presley they all came in begged him to teach him and Bruce Lee would always interview people and he would say tell me about yourself and they'd always say well I have a third degree black belt in Shotokan and I have a second degree black belt in Taekwondo and I've studied and he would shake his head and he would show them the door and they would be so surprised and they'd say why and he said I can't I can't fill you up your your full your cup is full unless you empty your cup and so there are gonna be many differences of opinion I probably am nuts to try to tackle this because I called up two friends of mine I only have two friends in ministry but they're both very seasoned both very respected and they have a hundred years of ministry between the two of them they're not a flash in the pan and I said so what's the official Church stance on this and they said there is none and I said what's preached and they said you know certain things we just stay away from it's not that I'm controversial it's not that I'm like well I'll dig into it I I don't want to dig into anything I'm just doing what I'm told or at least I think I'm doing what I'm told so let's take a look at the verses without further ado John 15 1 through 11 it says quote this is Yeshua speaking I am the real vine and my father is the gardener every branch which is part of me but fails to bear fruit he cuts off and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it may bear more fruits right now because of the word which I have spoken to you you are pruned stay united with me as I will with you for just as the branch can't put forth fruit by itself apart from the vine so you can't bear fruit apart from me I am the vine and you are the branches those who stay united with me and I with them are the ones who bear much fruit because apart from me you can't do a thing unless a person remains United with me he is thrown away like a branch and dries up such branches are gathered and thrown into the fire where they are burned up if you remain United with me and my words with you then ask whatever you want and it will happen for you this is how my father is glorified in your bearing much fruit this is how you will prove to be my Talmud Dean just as my father has loved me I too have loved you so stay in my love if you keep my commands you will stay in my love just as I have kept my father's commands and stay in his love I have said this to you so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete now obviously context there's things in the Bible when when you go from chapter to chapter a year passes I mean most people think that it's maybe moments but some some places it's a year three months and right after John 13 when Yeshua is having the Passover Seder of course he would have a Passover Seder with his disciples right after that comes 14 15 16 17 in less than a day less than 12 hours you're getting a jehan amount of scripture or words from your shoe his mouth in a very short time span because come John 18 he's gonna be taken away and murdered and he has to be murdered on Passover as the Passover lamb so it has to happen that day she have to realize this is his last will and testament basically he's giving final marching orders to his disciples this John's Gospel is is is a very important gospel because it speaks about Yeshua being with the father being one it doesn't speak about so much his miracles or his teachings it speaks about who he is John focuses on who you schewe is and here is a very important section of Scripture now there are people that will take scripture out of context there are there are some people who will talk about losing salvation most of these people are I hate to say but there legalists for the most part and they don't feel worthy but let me tell you most believers true strong strong dedicated believe it's biography let me read your biography you feel that at any time maybe toward the end when God meets with you when you sit down at the judgment seat of Messiah he can say to you you really didn't cut the mustard you really didn't do as much as you said and you really didn't hold up to your end of the bargain so I'm so it's not gonna work out and none of us would defend that would we a lot of people feel this way there are many scriptures that support eternal security there are some a few grab on them that will support sounds like losing salvation so you can't look at this section in and of itself you have to thread it you have to thread it with John 10 and revelation 2 and other sections of Scripture a Deuteronomy 31 you can't do that it is it is the faux pas of hermeneutics it is it is the problem of all problems the nobody likes to be taken out of context do you you don't ever want to be taken out of context the devil is the master the met did God really say he is the master at leading you to look at scripture not in its context anytime you grab a scripture out of its context it becomes pretext text out of context is pretext and it becomes an untruth so I'm going to go through this without without threading the needle so much and there's going to be a lot of difference of opinion because it's very controversial one of the things I want to explain to you is that at this point in Yeshua's life and ministry and his disciples life they were very very anxious he had explained to them at the Passover that all of a sudden he's leaving things were great really they were with this incredible rabbi they didn't really know who he was they didn't really understand that he had to die and resurrect they didn't understand that you're living 2,000 years on the other side of it 2,000 years and they were like any of us man that teachers going away where are you going we don't know the way what's happening they are anxious and they're nervous and rightfully so how do I know look look just look for a minute at John 14:1 just one verse away from this why does he say don't let yourselves be disturbed trust in God trust in me you don't tell somebody not to be disturbed unless they're if you weren't crying would it be ridiculous me as they stopped crying I'm not crying you follow he's saying don't be anxious don't be fearful and don't be troubled because obviously they were after the Passover meal they're like what's what's going on I don't really understand what's happening here what do you mean somebody's gonna betray him why would one of us betray him why is he gonna be handed over what's he's done nothing wrong he's just a rabbi we're enjoying this why is he leaving insecure very insecure and right again rightfully so so Yeshua uses an allegory what's an allegory it's a spiritual lesson using rich figurative language it's it's an expanded metaphor and he uses an allegory to calm them that's what John 15 is about to calm them to instruct them and to strengthen them how many times do we as children of God need to be calm need to calm down need to be strengthened and need to be instructed sure and it's guys it's okay for too long people in the body have put on this spiritual air that they were so strong and at home they cried out to God cry out to God here let's let's let's put us all on the same playing field we're all together in this stop competing stop one-upping each other stop no this scripts you know what this means stop arguing I witnessed the three Hasidic Jewish women on a beach in Long there was nobody there I was sitting there just meditating in a chair obviously it's October nobody's gonna be on the beach and these three women come on with head wraps and they're dancing and they had more joy than I've ever seen in a Christian they were reading Scripture and jumping up and down with their fish old women praying and smut and I was like I got it I got it they got to be messianic right Lord he goes go go over and find out they're Orthodox I'm thinking what's what are you so joyous about Hashem we get to do mitzvahs we call ourselves the Mitzvah Club all we do is go around and bless and bless and give and take care of and they weren't even boasting they would just all decrepit poor women and you know we spoke for a long time about Messiah and showing them in the scriptures they never argued they didn't receive it but they weren't argumentative they weren't being difficult they were still smiling torille I was like what are you trying to show me here Lord and I'm like how could three women who don't know Messiah be more joyous than people who do and how come they weren't being so argumentative you know you'll you'll know the level of your love by the way you conduct yourself with people that don't agree with you what are they God was showing me something I know he was three old Orthodox Jewish women just don't show up on a beach in October now in this allegory there are three main characters you've got the gardener sometimes some of you versions will say the vine dresser you have the gardener you have the vine any of the branches the garden of course is none other than the Lord God himself everything comes from him and he gives everything necessary we cannot say you didn't give the proper nutrients no the blame is never on him although we tend to blame him often if the branch is in bearing fruit it's on the branch the problem is with the branch the vine of course is Yeshua and we the disciples are the branches now I've heard some people say the branches of denominations I just I please please don't be offended accept this from me as the gospel they were never ever supposed to be denominations and if you belong to a non-denominational Church it's a denominational Church you can't call yourself something now you might say but rabbi you're Messianic Jewish first of all I've never called myself that that's what you call me I call myself a believer in the God of Abraham Isaac and Jacob through the prophesied Messiah the king of Israel Yeshua and I'm filled with God's Spirit now am i a Jew who believes in Messiah yes well this is a messianic synagogue it's a prophetic movement it's not a denomination of Christianity it's a prophetic movement to restore the richness of the faith from the first century and be a bridge between the Jew and the Gentile I know people call us at denomination but we're not it's a prophetic movement that was resurrected in 1967 by the Lord God himself nobody can lay claim to it with that being said there is one Lord there is one Messiah there is one faith and there is one branch there is not a Jewish branch there is none a Gentile branch there is not a black branch there is not a white branch there is not a female branch nor a male branch there was not a rich branch nor a polar branch there was not an educated branch nor an uneducated branch there's not a City branch nor a country branch is not a north branch nor a South branch and let me say this and with all due respect shame on you when you take pride in your locale I was back in New York I don't belong in New York and I don't belong in Macon I belong in the kingdom how dare how dare I lay claim to a residency to a place where my Lord was an alien I'm a citizen of heaven now going back to John 15:1 throw 11 now that we've laid a foundation of what was happening we'll be able to better understand that I believe John 15:1 as we break it down which we always do Yeshua says I am the real vine and my father is the gardener before we go into the definition what do we know about vines we know that there were all over Israel there's only a few fruits that grow on a vine one is a watermelon they weren't watermelons in Israel 2,000 years ago the other is a cantaloupe that weren't cantaloupes and the other is a Kiwi and it's not native to Israel the only thing that was native to Israel is grapes so they knew exactly what he was referring to he used terminology that they would know and they were even vines etched inherited Solomon's Temple grape vines it's it was an illustration that all the Jewish people understood and this was his audience also if you look back in Isaiah 5 verses 1 through 6 you'll notice that God calls Israel his vine he says you were a vine to me right but there was a problem with that that vine it it wasn't effective that vine was disobedient like us that vine was rebellious like us and that vine was idolatrous like us and it was supposed to prove to produce fruit but Isaiah prophesied on behalf of the one said you were defective so here your shoe is saying Israel because he's speaking Israel God wanted you to be the vine but you were defective I'm the real deal if you don't connect with the fact that the whole Bible is written by Jews to Jews in a Jewish place and you try to understand it with a Gentile mindset will you get the message that Jesus is Lord yes will you get the message that you're supposed to do good things yes but man you will never understand the depth of God's love for you let's look at this word real some of your verse and say true so the word in the Greek why Greek because the New Testament was written in the Greek language so we have to look up words in the Greek lexicon it means true genuine and authentic as opposed to imperfect defective and frail ok the true vine is the Messiah and as New Covenant believers why did you say New Covenant why didn't you say New Testament you're not a New Testament well you are a New Testament believer but don't you believe in the Old Testament don't you believe in the creation story a rabbi this is semantics oh no it's not oh it is the furthest thing from semantics and opinion you are a new covenant believer you are under the new covenant according to the Bible according to Jeremiah you are a new covenant believe but never should you call yourself a New Testament believer you are not under the Mosaic Covenant in the sense of you're under the new covenant and the ways of God are written on your heart and those writings on your heart are energized by the Spirit of God the power of God to help you walk out what the Old Testament never provided the power to do you a new covenant believer and as a new covenant believer our identification listen up has to be with Yeshua not with Israel and not with the church [Applause] if my father is the gardener and he connects me as a branch I'm not connected through Israel Israel as the vine was defective and I'm not connected through the church because the church is defective I'm connected through the true vine the real Vanya shoe AHA Messiah now do identify with Israel yes to identify with the church yes but my first and foremost identification is with Yeshua God uses the vine to supply the branches with all their necessary nutrients in order for the branches to bear fruit which is the objective now in Christianity I asked my two friends there are certain terms that have a negative connotation for instance if I played word association with the Christian past I said Pharisee they'd say bad Yeshua said unless your righteousness surpasses that of the Pharisees many of the Pharisees walked in much righteousness they were separated once they were off sometimes they had a little issue with pride but they were very very serious about walking in righteousness if I said law to a Christian bed know the law of God is holy just and good and if I said works you ever noticed worked so bad if I said works to the average Christian they'd be like works a bed if you're talking about a faith based on works/righteousness it's bad but if you have a faith with no works its death in the world of believers it's always either-or why are you letting good compete with good why do you have to take these extreme sides it's all truth it's all grace it's both it's all faith it's all works it's both we need a faith that works if there are no works there is no evidence that you have faith there is no evidence will know them by their fruits a tree is known by its fruits remember somebody very famous said that if you have no fruit what do you have besides the profession now some people are trying to bear fruit to prove that they're worthy some people are trying to bear fruit in their insecurities some people are trying to bear fruit to boast a story there's all kinds of different things that go on in a believers mind and heart and it's way too complex for me to even begin to understand you have to understand yourself you have to ask God I always ask God what is my motivation Lord I was asking because I don't know the motivations of my own heart if I don't know the motivations of my heart do you think you know the motivations of yours and Betty yet if I don't know the motivations of my heart are you crazy thinking you know my motivations don't you understand it is impossible for a human being to know the motivations of another human beings heart but God who knows all things knows the motivation so I say to God why am i doing what I'm doing Lord my motives pure or not if they're not tell me with the impurities I don't want to have impure motives you know there was a time when all my models are pure and then you get busy and it becomes a machine and you've got to slow down and take a step back and go am I still if I have to do that don't you think you have to do search me oh god no my heart nothing is hidden from you so we have the garden to God we have the real vine Yeshua and we are all on the same playing field as branches got through one verse you can't fly through God's Word you can fly through just about anybody's word except for God's you've got a slowdown this is the Lord talking these are words out of the mouth of Messiah you've got to slow down and make sure you know how they say you're supposed to chew your food 35 chews nobody does that some of you don't even get one chew out of it you just goes down hole you gotta chew this this is soul food soul food needs to be broken down in order for it to be absorbed otherwise you won't get the nutrients necessary for your soul to prosper most people don't get nutrients from food just because they don't shoe it and break it down that's why God gave you teeth to break it down so it could be assimilated and absorbed this has to be assimilated to be absorbed verse 2 of John 15 it says every branch which is part of me but fails to bear fruit he cuts off some versions they takes away and every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it may bear more fruit do you have any idea how much debate there is in the body of Messiah over the unfruitful branches who are they you will have an opinion right right you do you do some say they're false professors not not PhD professors professing declaring what you believe they've never been born-again their professors but not possess us there's many people who will sit in the house of worship there might be some here today that have never been born again they've never had a born-again experience they've never met the Lord they've never truly repented of their sins and changed their mindset they've never been filled with the Holy Spirit so some say they're they've never been born again others say that these are people who are born again but they lose their salvation due to unfruitful Ness I'm just curious how many people believe they're not people that have never been born again it's a double negative what are you an English teacher Dave okay okay how many people believe they've these are people who have never been born again and how many people believe that they're people who are have been born again but they lose their salvation how many people don't know what the heck they believe Wow it's like four hundred people in six hands went up for both categories okay well let's let's listen come on you know I'm not formal you know I hate this I'm Way more anointed one-on-one I'm Way more anointed in Walmart a Waffle House on a beach in Long Island I just am I'm much better one-on-one because I totally have to be dependent on the Holy Spirit there could be no preparation this is not my cup of tea so let's just breathe let's breathe it's not a test and let's just work this thing out together okay that sound right is that fair the vine branch relationship speaks of complete dependence and the need for constant connection in order to bear fruit this is what he's speaking about he's saying I'm leaving we want you to be fruitful but in order for that to happen you're gonna have to stay connected otherwise it it will not happen you're gonna have to be dependent on the connection now there are many people that learn that learn doctrine it's easy you read books you go to websites you sit on Wikipedia and you have doctrine let me tell you what you cannot get on the internet you can't get passion you can't get desperation and you can't get intimacy in other words in the business world when I was in the business world we can teach you a product line you want to learn about mortgage-backed securities we could teach you everything you want to know about mortgage-backed securities but we can't teach you things innate passion salesmanship initiative we can't teach you that that you can't learn from a school so I had a guy downtown Salomon Brothers you know multi mega millionaire he would only hire Marines listen I'm being honest with you he could teach them the product line but he knows they will work you follow we can learn doctrine but his doctrine gonna get you to evangelize more his doctrine gonna get you to feed the poor the widow and the orphans this doctrine gonna make you more desperate I'm not saying doctrines been I'm doctrinal but I'm saying those other inherent qualities man that that's what causes the explosion and believers life the branch depends on the vine more than sheep depend on a shepherd if his sheep walks away from the ship and he might find his own pasture but the branch can do nothing without divine this cuts off is very telling let's let's look at the word it's a word in Greek that means to raise up and carry or to remove now to raise up and carry some people some theologians take a positive spin grape vines that are laying down on the ground they're not getting the proper Sun so to raise up some people say well those that that he doesn't cut off he raises them up so they can get more sunlight and they could become fruitful of this take the stance now he's removing them which is more of a negative spin this is what we do know we are called to be fruitful and to be more and more like you sure now hold on to that because we're gonna get more you know there's a lot more to come but just at least hold on to that so far all I know is you she was saying I'm leaving you'd need me and I want you to be fruitful okay and I Got News for you if he was here he'd say the same thing nothing's changed okay let's look at the next verse 15 3 it says right now right I mean when he was speaking because of the word which I have spoken to you you are pruned look at this word pruned he says they already are cleansed once you're born again you are cleansed it's a one time cleansing but we have to be cleansed over and over and over born again salvation is one time cleansing spiritual cleansing and being sanctified is a process that happens daily you follow one bath many washings can you understand that one bath you go in the tank one time but you got to be washed because we get dirty we get dirties by some of our decisions sometimes we get dirty by the world so far so good let's try to understand this the cleansing agent when Bernadette does a wash uses detergent so we need a cleansing agent the cleansing agent that purifies and cleanses the believer is the Word of God if you're not reading the Word of God there's no way you're going to be purified it has a cleansing effect on our life it's I don't know I don't know what to say you hear me took about the Word of God it's I don't want to say it's magical because that's a word that some believers have a hard time with but it's amazing it's amazing it's spiritual detergent and the vine dresser God is looking for maximum fruitfulness from us maximum fruitfulness you want those clothes to come out as clean as they can right you want your whites to be white and your colors to be colorful so you're trying to find the best detergent you have you can get your hands on dead wood is worse than fruitlessness because dead wood harbors disease and decay and can affect the other branches adversely that's why Paul sin Corinthians you guys are bragging about this guy sleeping with his mother-in-law put him out of the camp let's Satan have his full way maybe he can repent and come back to the fold everybody everybody can repent look at what King David did but if King David didn't repent his branch would have been tossed in the fire you follow anybody can repent right repent is open for anybody isn't it open for you is it open for me but think about David and think about how the world mocked him think about the King the next day when all his constituents in Israel know new with Bathsheba you took a righteous husband and put him on the front line and had him assassinated you took a contract out on this general who would he gave his life for you you took his life and impregnated his wife think about how he was scorned and mocked think about his witness think about how long it took him to restore his character we don't think about those things huh they called ramifications of our actions it's better to be pruned to grow than to be cut up to be burned they had already gone through some pruning processes why because you Shu was teaching them all along when Yeshua speaks you're gonna be pruned there's no way around it when the Holy Spirit anoint somebody you're going to be pruned if you don't want to be pruned this is the wrong place to be if you want to just have a rally assistant rah-rah-sis-boom-bah stay the way you are come as you are and leave as you came this is not a good place to be this place will rock you it will rock you but the people that go through the most suffering and the most pruning end up being more like Yeshua than the people who don't when I went to visit a really boutique vineyard up in the Golan and a friend of mine want to introduce me to this guy because this guy used to be with the Mossad and I noticed that this guy was winning awards for his wine not a wine drinker but I saw all the awards and he was very humble guy and I said man you know your wines a tremendous all these awards just looked down yes and then the Lord quickened me and said system so I looked at him I said you know the most important thing for a grapevine is water you got a water the soil fit to get the nutrients from the root in order to bear good fruit I said you have no irrigation system because yes by design I said why said it forces the roots to dig and dig and dig till they find water and they are strong and the more they dig and the more they suffer the more they produced the best grapes and the best grapes produce the best wine and I was like I get it you have to succumb to the way God does things you cannot let the world influence you in any way his ways are not ours and as high as the heavens off from the earth or his ways from ours and we have to try to understand how he does things and embrace how he does it otherwise it's gonna be a constant fight and you're always gonna hedge your bets with the world and you're never gonna be free never John 15 for it says stay united with me some of your versions will say abide in me if at any time you feel like you're falling asleep just throw some water on your head stay united with me is spoken a hundred and eighteen times in the New Testament a hundred and eighteen times sixty seven times in the Gospel of John alone you know the Bible is not big I know some of you think it's big because have you looked at the religious books of some of the different religions thousand said look look the Talmud is sixty two hundred pages and that's not even that much compared to some other religions I'm here to say if your shoe ax mentions abided me sixty seven times in one gospel I have a feeling it's important it means to continue in a daily daily personal relationship with Yeshua through trust through prayer and through reading and obeying the word it's being continually conscious of our union with him thinking about that all the time it speaks about the will and making decisions that Yeshua himself would make look the bracelet is nice and if WWJD makes you you notice where are they nobody wears them anymore then when everybody had one I bet the guy who thought about that bracelet was real happy he's somewhere in the Bahamas having a drink right now I guarantee it whatever it's a joke lighten up Francis my point is bracelets won't make you make that decision never in a million years will an amulet make you do that there has to be a heart change it has to be internal but he says you with me look at this you with me and I with you we where do we know about this beautiful mutual relationship remember Song of Solomon many people interpret this this is Solomon talking to one of his wives which one had a thousand can't be that God's not a polygamist he preaches monogamy so that can't be it oh it's it's Jesus's relationship with the church that can't be it because the church was a mystery until the New Testament it's the relationship God has with Israel in the Song of Solomon and he says I am My Beloved's and my beloved is mine that's unbelievable language that's like saying hey I belong to you and you belong to me do we understand I belong to you but you belong to me and nobody's come in between that John 15:5 says I am the vine and you are the branches those who stay united its present progressive terminology and I with them are the ones who bear much fruit because apart from me you can't do a thing it does not mean nothing at all people say well that means we can't do nothing people in the world have have built massive empires I don't know if you've noticed some non-believers have built massive empires multi mega billionaires it doesn't it doesn't say that you can accomplish things apart from Messiah but it means nothing of eternal value the disciple can't do any true good for God or his kingdom if they don't consciously connect and abide in Yeshua 15 6 another verse that has caused much debate and much difference of opinion and so hold on to what I said earlier unless a person remains United with me he is thrown away like a branch and dries up such branches are gathered and thrown into the fire where they are burned up that doesn't sound good does it no it doesn't sound good because in reality it's not good now many people have a difference of opinion on this but fire usually is used throughout the Scriptures symbolic of divine judgment I can only say what fire is used by I'm not taking a hard stance but but hold on to that for a second has this person never be born again the subject matter in this whole section is not salvation it has nothing to do with salvation Yeshua is talking to his disciples and encouraging them to stay connected to him so they could accomplish their objective which is to be fruitful and then so many of you go can I lose myself I should I just that's all you want that's all you want from God just to know I'm gonna go to heaven Yeshua said I've come to bring abundant life now I've called you to be fruitful and all you want us to know that and when I die and when I'm gone when I die and they lay me to rest I'm gonna go to the place that's best what about now you're so busy going to heaven you're missing the fact that you should bring heaven down the subject matter is abiding and fruit-bearing not salvation you're letting the enemy take you off on a tangent no but he's talking about once saved always saved a losing salvation or Eater nobody's even talking about that we're talking about your she was saying and by than me and bear fruit the debate about eternal security and losing one's salvation will go on to your shoe it comes back but I'm here to tell you I'm a father of four they can never lose their dad do you understand for you to tell people that they can lose their salvation you're telling them that God's gonna go back on his word he's told Israel I will never leave you don't forsake you did they get expelled to Babylon did they get expelled to the nation's is he bringing them back he's a god of his word don't say that about him he says I'll never leave no forsake that's what he says to you as a born-again believer what kind of security would you have if I adopt you and say look this is the list of what you can do this is the list of what you can't do if you go off I'm sending you packing how could you remain in his love and if you believe that you can't remain in his love so you have no anointing and power to tell people about his love think about it I walked in it for twenty years I was the king of truth and I always thought God was gonna send me packing I always thought I wasn't never good enough so I witnessed everybody and everything I didn't have a lit up to go by every restaurant weren't super it was like well we're gonna do it we're not gonna talk and every time I took them out brings in a witness he's gonna lose his kids they're in the parking lot they're on a swing by themselves and this is what I did cuz I didn't want to go packing I wanted to prove myself I wanted to prove that I was worthy God you didn't die for nothing you didn't waste your blood on me watch and I was shackled and I believe this at least one or two people here that are shackled and the Lord wants to deliver you from those chains at the end of the day we come to the conclusion that it is impossible to abide in him and remain unfruitful you hear what I'm saying it is impossible it is impossible to abide in the Lord and remain unfruitful there are no true disciples that don't abide true disciples born-again disciples abide they might lose fellowship but not relationship first Johnny says my little children I want you why is he calling you a child why but I'm your father I'm not your father I'm your father I'm not your father who would say that to their kids what kind of maniac diabolical maniac would say that to his kids now they might have to go up to their room they might have to go up to their room because we've lost some fellowship but guess what I'm dying for them to say they're sorry because you know why I missed them way more than they missed me does anybody know what I'm flippin talking about God misses you more than you'll ever miss him you think he's fine without you you think he's just up there and saying hey man I'm getting the glory of the four living creatures of 24 elders that bowing down costly I'm good you lost you mad at me who cares he's weeping the story is not the prodigal son it's the prodigal father he's wasting himself on you and he's dying for you to come home fifteen seven a crazy out of context scripture it says if you remain United with me and my words with you then asked whatever you want the faith-based people and the Word of Faith Movement have just murdered this you really think you can ask God whatever you want he's gonna give it to you ask my kids how many things I've given them of what they want I can tell you just about nothing nothing thank God they don't they know you know from the first one after the first one Jeremy told him you're not gonna get anything you want so they knew up front we told them in the womb you know some people play like Tchaikovsky because they say the kids getting smarter in the womb we said you're gonna get nothing of what you want you're gonna get nothing of what you want you're gonna in nothing but you'll get what you need you're gonna get love you're gonna get tutelage you're gonna have a roof over your head you're gonna have an education that's what you're gonna get you want anything else it's real easy get yourself a Jo B and some of you need to get a job badly in this sanctuary what I'm thirsty I'm coming down for some water don't make a big deal out of it prayer is a natural out gushing of a soul in communion with Yeshua when you're in communion with Yeshua your prayers will be right and righteous the closer we get to the Lord the more his thinking becomes our thinking and the more his ways become always and our prayers change we don't ever pray for ourselves the only prayer we pray for ourselves is help me to get closer to you Lord God knows what you need before you ask if I get to pray for everybody else you don't think he's gonna take care of my needs think about it verse 8 it says this is how my father is glorified in your bearing much fruit I want to bring glory to God bear some fruit this is Atiya shew his mouth ah I will glorify me new keep yelling glory I'm curious glory glory glory glory what what are you what are you saying you can only glorify God by bearing fruit that's what your shoe has said you can't have a difference of opinion from Yahshua this is how my father is glorified in your very much fruit this is how you will prove there a test that we take all the time to prove things litmus test about now authenticate something you want to be authenticated as a disciple then you gotta show some fruit on your branches there's no way around the guy no way is amazing so straightforward and simple isn't it I mean man the father is glorified through fruitfulness fruit can be what when you when you do works of righteousness evangelize help the poor the widow and the needy show godly character kindness and patience and these other things that's all fruit it's all in the category of fruit the branch that bears much fruit brings honor to the one who cares for the fine if you bear fruit you're telling the vine dresser you do a good job that's how you glorify God if you're a Christian that just goes to church and Bible study and you bear no fruit how are you bringing any glory to God you think you're upsetting the enemy he loves you he's praising you in all you pray sessions a disciple who bears much fruit brings much honor to God spiritually speaking we're almost home verse nine just as my father has loved me I too of loved use to stay in my love guys this is gonna get really crazy in the next two verses so just hang on to this you're gonna leave blessed I promise you're gonna leave blessed I promise the love that the father has to Yeshua is the same love Yeshua has for us what the love that the father has for yoshua is the identical love that Yeshua has for us guys this should make us bow and worship I'm just here to say if you didn't feel like bowing maybe you got your mind on business huh he didn't say I love you the way a mother loves their baby that's intense love right he didn't say I love you the way a husband loves his wife he didn't say I love you the way a soldier loves his buddy he said I love you the way the Father loves me what and then he says stay in my love we have to continue to realize this love and to enjoy it in our lives rabbi why are you so emphatic about it because I made many mistakes I worked so much I worked myself to death you might wonder why doesn't he come visit me at the hospital 3:00 in the morning why don't you visit me in the hospital 3:00 in the morning I'm not gonna kill myself uh-huh you need to get with God you need to have a relationship with him the Lord is my shepherd not past the day of the Lord is my shepherd yeshua is filled with power with wisdom with holiness but he says stay in my love not stay in my power not stay in my wisdom stay my love how real easy 15 10 answers it beautifully it says if you keep my commands it's irrefutable you talk about eternal security and all the southern nonsense but I'm telling you this is how to stay in his love by obeying his commands there's no other way and if you stay in his love by obeying his commands you'll bear fruit period simple you obeying his commands to stay in his love you stay connected you're bearing fruit that it's impossible you will stay in my love just as I have kept he's saying I stayed in my father's love by keeping his command and we're supposed to be like Oh Yeshua like father like son like son like disciples same deal he came not just to die for our sins but to give us an example of perfect sonship he gave us an example of the perfect disciple not just dying for our sins which is enough but he was showing us who we're supposed to be like and he said I have kept my father's commands and I remain in his love I'm convinced of his love the only real way to be happy is to trust and obey the Lord Yeshua was convinced that his father loved him and he was a convinced because of his father's loves that everything his father said was ways of pleasantness and ways of prosperity and ways of peace he was so convinced of his father's love he even was willing to go to the cross did he know he was gonna resurrect no he went trusting what he went trusting he went trusting I trust you I don't want to do it but I defer to your will father I'll obey you even on to death I will go I won't much like a soldier and I will go because I still believe you love me can you imagine mocked flogged having your skin ripped beaten punched spit on nailed and still thinking you love me some of us we go through a little problem a little issue God where are you look at what he did still convinced you love me and I know you love them so Father forgive them they just don't know what they're doing forgive them you want to talk about crazy crazy crazy love crazy crazy crazy love last verse 15 11 it says I have said this to you so that my joy may be in you and your joy may be complete some use the earlier verses to teach that a believer may perish Yeshua's purpose here is that our joy be made full not our doubts he's not teaching this to his disciples to create doubt he's saying I want your joy to be full how many people came and he would fall joy Yeshua found his deepest joy by staying and unbroken fellowship with his father he wants us to have that joy as well Yeshua taught that real joy comes by taking God into one's life as much as possible here we are talking about losing our salvation well well can I still have it and still have the world so we had your bets we don't love God enough to hate our sin and we don't love the world enough to go full in so we hinge like when I first went to Israel wood burned on our honeymoon I was convinced it was going to be lousy so I put a week of the Greek Isles on the tail end that was hedging but we do that spiritually guy we do that we say the world has no hold on his bull both and we walk this way and we hold on to the world but loosely because we're a Christian and we hold on to God sort it tightly because we want to make sure we're in and we say how much of this can I still get and still make sure I get that trust me from the bottom of my heart it doesn't work it causes a lot of pain it's like the single guy that he wants him wife he wants a wife he wants somebody to love and somebody to be loved by and he wants to have children because he wants to be a dad he still wants to be single so he's not fully single but he's not fully married so he's got this wife and kids but he still wants to have a singleness look choose I tell young Peter all time you want to be single nobody's forced me to be married be single but if you're married to say goodbye to your singleness figure it out what do you want do you want if God came down right now so what do you want what do you want well I want you but let me show you a phenomenal quote by a theologian MD a Carson it says no one is more miserable than the Christian who for a time hedges in his obedience he does not love sin enough to enjoy its pleasures and does not love Christ enough to relish holiness he perceives that his rebellion is iniquitous that's wicked he perceives his rebellion is wicked but obedience seems distasteful he's not fully in he does not really feel at home any longer in the world he knows the world is in this place but his memory of his past associations and the tantalizing lyrics of his old music prevent him from singing with the saints he's a man most to be pitied and he cannot forever remain ambivalent meaning wavering Yeshua said to them my joy my joy he was talking about his joy we don't see a shoe of joyous do we because we only see the last part of his life you don't think he play kick-the-can you don't think at the wedding he grabbed the bride and spun around what do you think he sat in the corner and was miserable like some of us think he didn't enjoy life Steve's father don't want to enjoy life if he wasn't joyous why did he tell them who live with them for three years my joy and why didn't they flinch if I was around somebody who was never joyous right for three years and they said to me while they were ready to go my joy I've looked at my friend go the heck is he talking about know what I mean like a poor person you would a poor person and they'd go my money I leave you know what you got no money why didn't they flinch obviously he had joy obviously had a lot more joy than we realize and he didn't say he didn't say might joy concerning me he didn't say joy derived from me he didn't say might joy over you he said my joy his own holy happiness and exaltation because let me tell you why he was joyous because of his extreme connection with the Father wasn't because he had a fancy house cuz he didn't wasn't cause he had fancy threads because he didn't wasn't because he had a really cool-looking camel because he didn't but what he did have the world could never provide and that's what caused his joy God made human beings as he made other creatures to be happy and they are capable of happiness they are in their right element when they're happy but the joy I am talking about is not the pleasure of a life of ease it's not like well I'm so happy because my life is easy everything's in order have my pension have my house paid for everything is good I'm not talking about that that's never that joy is fleeting it's insecure joy because the minute our system or our plan gets rocked what happens I'll tell you what happens we go into a tailspin and our guardian angel needs a guardian angel I'm talking about the exhilaration you hear the word I'm talking about the exhilaration of being right with God and consciously walking in his love and care no matter what I say you might not buy it and you might not understand it do you know why you don't understand it pal because you've never experienced it you can't understand something you haven't experienced but if you have that exhilaration that exhilaration of hearing God say I love you kid I know you're not perfect doesn't matter you're perfect to me I love you a kid keep up the good work good job kid good job there ain't nothing like it world can't do that for you money comes money goes and guess what there's no luggage track on a hearse some of you got more money than you know what to do with and you're gonna leave it to your kids will you please adopt me I promise not to rifle through it as quickly as they do I'll actually use it for God's kingdom I think this may free you for years I was trying to live my life for God and every minute of the day it got to the point where if I watched a silly movie I felt like it was an hour and a half a waste of time I could have been evangelizing I could have been doing something and it almost became like a shackle to me but I was okay with it because that's all I knew and then I realized there's a huge difference between telling your kid live your life for God you hammy son live your life for God and sane to him son let the Lord live his life true why did it take me 25 years guys don't let it take you 25 and if you've been doing it for 25 don't do it for another 25 I realized that God actually does want me to be happy and that there's certain times he made things I remember just I remember sitting with my kids at the park with my books and looking for any money I could possibly share with and they're like playing by themselves and finally I said to God I looked at him he goes go play with them go play with them man oh man I had to apologize to Jeremy but he knows all of them you know as soon as we got to New York I got in last Saturday burn that was already there with Lily I mean max flew in and I was exhausted from this and I took a late flight and it was 10:30 at night you know and I can't even see straight and I get in a car and I get to the hotel in Manhattan and I get upstairs and Jeremy called he says dad dad I'm watching the the Conor McGregor fight with a couple of buddies in this sports bar come I want you to come to head and I said Jeremy I'm beat I heard the Holy Spirit say are you crazy if you want a chance to evangelize you wouldn't even think about being tired what 24 year old is dying to see his dad he closed me the silverback you know that angry gorilla that controls everybody and all his friends know me is the silverback so he's like Ryan's here you know and and then he said dad they shut down it was a three level ball they shut down the bar ten o'clock but I told the guy that my dad's coming and the bouncer said wow your dad's coming well let him in and he came outside and he hugged me he kissed me well I could say as God is good [Applause] so the Lord will let you live he'll let you spend time with your family he'll let you go places he'll let you watch a silly movie as long as it's not you know you know what I mean don't watch those facts somebody need to desperately stop now but when he tells you to do something don't hesitate let him live his life through you you can be a ventriloquist dummy you can do what you want as long as it's not immoral but then if he cuts in on your dance he won't abuse you I was abusing myself the enemy was abusing me he could the enemy couldn't pull me into sin so you know what he did he pushed me into work till I couldn't see straight till I read things in the Bible like he who chooses to be a congregation leader chooses a good thing and I was like this isn't a good thing and I start to go what's going on this is what the Bible says but it's not happening at all I was being confused by the enemy and railroaded by the enemy I'm here to tell you you can live your life as long as it's not immoral or illicit but when the Lord says I need to go talk to that person don't you pray about it just blatantly do it I've had so much fun lately it is amazing it is amazing what God can do with a surrendered life that abides in him you don't have to be all that smart you don't have to be all that programmed you don't have to go to a seminary it is amazing trust me what God can do with somebody that just says I'm all-in I'm all-in I'm all yours whatever the heck you want I'll do it amazing and he uses nobodies he uses nobodies because nobody's that bear fruit brings so much glory to the gardener I want to encourage you today to not look to do big things better a little action with the Lord then the greatest of intention without just be attentive to his voice and don't question it don't wonder is this of you God go with it let me let me show you what I mean look at look at never miss al for a minute now just just bear with me I know this might be a little Please Please when I I had an obscure meeting with somebody in the midst of praying to help children in Israel and this obscure meeting was with a rabbi long story short at the meeting when he had mentioned never met Helen I go what's that and he told me about it and I'm weeping because I'm just praying that morning please God I want to help Jewish children in Israel I just do and then he says they're never gonna talk to you why look the Orthodox community and the Messianic community I like the Hatfields and the McCoys man it's bad real bad they just have such a distaste and disdain for Messianic Jews they say about us we are performing a spiritual holocaust think how terrible that is unlike a spiritual Hitler taking their children and and making them become Christians let me cut to the chase um I sit on the board of directors of Nathan Hale now what is the chances I'm sorry maybe you don't understand me ma'am I'm not bragging on me I had nothing to do with it do you understand I just did what I was told God is amazing if you don't understand the amazement of taking a messianic rabbi and tossing them on the board of directors of an ultra-orthodox children's village then your wood is so wet there's nothing I could do for you and now through a little nothing congregation we've sent over a million dollars to them how does that happen and and let me just let me hold on because we're not doing so good here let me address the people that watch thank you thank you for never stepping foot in here never getting any delight that these people get sitting in your homes all by yourself never drinking the coffee never having your kids go to Shabbat school never having any fellowship and being so flippin obedient to help us in our cause thank you [Applause] while you stroll through the pictures I just spoke to hava this is a letter I just got from her yesterday rabbi Greg this is we're renovating their Crisis Center these are kids that are taken out to 3:00 in the morning from massive abuse and instead of going to a state facility they go to never mihail where they are loved and cared for and they are healed through the power of God's love Thank You rabbi Greg the new year has begun and Nev mal is still getting phone calls every day to take in children this week four new little ones are coming to the Children's emergency center last week six new little ones joined never met hail their lives are shattered one of the older girls that never inhale who has been here with us since she's seven is now 14 explained how she felt when she arrived at the emergency center so many years ago at 2:00 a.m. in the middle of night Haven it wasn't only because I was taken away from my family yes I missed them but I was relieved no more abuse no child should have to go through what I did but people don't realize that I was also taken away from my friends at school the boys and the girls that I was with since age three my world fell apart but so much love and care and prayers were bestowed upon me I felt important people wonderful angels took care of me I guess Haven it's because children really do matter to God rabbi Greg words from a child you and never know how a true partners because you care and you love and believe psalms has a beautiful verse only a few words it says believe in God and do good faith and works guys simple but moving and that is what you do every day Rabbi Greg when you change a child's life you change the world we are so lucky to have you we love you Haven and the children amen by the way just so you know you don't have to send any money here send it directly to them you want to go visit just use my name you can visit you want to stay check with me I'll call you could stay for free can't get a better deal than that can hear and you'll never see another place like it next on the block we have Samuel I just pulled up I called him this morning and of course he wasn't home he was out doing gospel meeting says he works harder and more than anybody you've ever met in your life anybody you've ever met in your life this is him just going this is the villages man that's their house just made out of dirt with roofs and this is him just going and sharing the gospel Samuel I met on a fluke email who sends an email and says I need your help samuel crouppen and i mean if you got an email from somebody from india that said i need your help would you correspond you lie in full you would delete it so quick why don't you pray ask God God said send him 100 Bibles in his language Samuel this is Gregg Hirschberg the Lord told me something tell me what you need Bernadette will attest soul anybody that was here at the time I've showed him the emails he says I need a hundred Bibles in Telugu boom next thing I know God says go I go now we have two hundred fella Samuel is a big deal look look at the neck this is the new dining room for the kids we already built them a synagogue in the school in an orphanage but let me see the next one they're dedicating congregations guys this is in this is in rural rural radical fundamental Hinduism it's it's worse the the the control the demonic control on these people it's worse than Islam who would have thought a guy in the little obscure village who writes an email next thing you know he's opening up congregations all over Southeast Asia [Applause] this is not a world walk that we're a little messianic congregation in a know-nothing town look at this for my Hindus man you know you know what the person I don't even want to tell you but let me just say the persecution they go through when they give their life to the Lord most people wouldn't be able to deal with next we have Kenya I just spoke to Steven this this I get a letter from somebody and he was a fake but I didn't see it I said Lord do you want me to go to Kenya yes I want you to go I get there I got a wall gembo something doesn't seem right I mean I'm in a village up a mountain all red dirt all mud huts I'm living in this village I'm like oh I feel like an idiot this guy's not right the Holy Spirit's discerning but then I'm like what happened to me why did I come why did I here so I didn't hear right he goes wait and then all of a sudden Steven shows up and this guy Vincent tries to get rid of him Vincent says to me he's not coming with us Stevens not travelers you understand and I said I heard the Holy Spirit said do you understand he doesn't go I don't go so Steven travel with us from Nairobi to again Bo and every day I could see the light in Stevens eyes and I said Lord helped me I'm a little confused you're not the author of confusion you sent me to Kenya I'm with Vincent Misuari something's not right you want me to be with this guy Steven what's going on give me a sign I need a sign he says when you get to his village in Nakuru his family are gonna run and scream and jump in his arms and you'll see his love we got to knock arou running and screaming his wife jumped in his arms that was what 2009 or something like that now look at what he has he's a big deal he's the freaking Joel Osteen of Nakuru these are all our orphans who used to be naked plus their parents died of AIDS now they have a school and some of them are going on to college this is Beth Yeshua messianic congregation in Macon Georgia it doesn't happen your Big Shot churches don't do this they send somebody off to Sumerian Honduras $65,000 in a car and at the end of the year you go what you accomplished ask them well I got a vacation in Honduras they stream they have beautiful congregations now this is unbelievable what's going on from obscurity I had no vision for any of this none no vision none none my vision was could I last in Macon for a year listen you laughs in all seriousness I had somebody that had like thirty five churches meet me he's he's passed away his name is Gary Qibla it's 35 churches in the in the Bible Belt and he met me in Florida and he had dinner with me and he said look there's some people in the Messianic movement did a very concern for you you're going to the buckle of the Bible Belt and and and I'm not sure with your attitude if you're gonna last he said tell me about yourself so 20 minutes I shared and Gary kibbutz looks at me and goes I can't help you let's just have dinner I was just looking to see if I can last a year people told me you're not gonna make it when we got here they told me you're not gonna make it people ellipticity you're not gonna make it I said I'm not trying to make it and make it I'm trying to make it in the kingdom all I know is God told me to come that's all I know all from all from obscurity look look at the next show me show me listen I went to Australia you might not know why I went there was a pastor former Southern Baptist pastor which became a non-denominational pastor he heard about me he met me and said I understand you're trying to build a building I have friends in Australia that can build a building in three days he built his building and Locust Grove in three days they have architects there they're very it's it's 24 hours it's 72 24 hour days 72 hours I went there with all blueprints to meet them I was going there to preach I was just gonna meet this guy this pastor who has a crew who and they were willing to come here like a hundred people the next thing I know I get there in the morning and he says hey mate would you like to preach the other service I said I don't know let me check the Lord says gopher I preach and then it turns into I'm preaching every night for 10 days then he asked me to come back when I come back there's some guy with a guitar on stage I'd be like I go right up to him as soon as I walked in the church it was Arnie and I said you don't know me he goes oh yes I do and I said the Lord wants me who knew that this obscure guitarist would open up a congregation in Australia on the Congregation Beth yushua and it's it's growing there in a Jewish Center in Perth a Jewish Center the Jewish Community Center in Perth and they're helping Holocaust survivors and they're helping women who are pregnant who don't have any husbands of funds guys this is Macon Georgia Beth Yeshua this doesn't happen I had no vision you had no vision nobody had a vision God had a vision all you have to do is surrender and say just do what you want tell me what you want it's so easy it's not that hard we make it so hard and then Forrester Foundation an ultra he's watching hey Belle he's watching I mean this is a guy who's hooked up with all the rabbi's in South Florida he's a Jews Jew he calls the office because he's sitting on the board and never found they're sitting there and somebody goes um Rabbi Greg is really one of our biggest supporters and he's like rabbi Greg who's that woman story sure cool he's a messianic rabbi so I heard about the meeting and he's trying to get in touch with me I blew him off he'll tell you I blew him off because you know why I just thought he was gonna sit out and go look I appreciate what you've done I really do but because of your faith we're gonna have to cut our losses here and I just didn't want to stop helping the kids I just didn't want to be kicked out so I blew him off blow well finally he drives up from Boca Raton because I'm gonna be in Central Florida Orlando and he shows up the guy shows up oh my god so I'm gonna get kicked out to my face now with best friends we're in a ministry together the two of us cooperate in this it's our ministry and by the way if you want to help the kids with wheelchairs you don't have to send to Beth yushua send directly to the foster foundation you don't have to worry what is Betsy she were using it first of all every nickel every penny we get for ministry is goats goes to ministry not the lights not for shabbat school not for salaries not a flip and cent but if you don't trust us because usually you can't trust yourself send it directly to the source it's no problem look what we're doing there's our next venture kids they can't communicate because of respiratory look what we got through Apple iPads sixty five hundred dollars on the wheelchairs so finally they communicate with their parents and their caregivers you know the freedom in that for a kid that can't talk crazy and if it wasn't far-reaching enough while I was in New York this is crazy look at this I go on a boat to the Statue of Liberty now you know the deal it's the torch of enlightenment seven crowns or for the seven seas but I'm trying to one second I'm trying to focus in on the on the book like what is she holding what tablet what book is she holding so I get a little closer in the boat and I still can't totally see so I asked the guy can you get a little closer and look what I find out she's holding from the projects I mean just when you think the ministry can't go any further is that legal yes it's legal to read my book you know 40% of all Americans can trace a family member through Ellis Island it's unbelievable from 1894 to about 1952 40 almost half of America could trace a relative into Ellis Island the reason why I did that the reason why I did something funny is not just to get a laugh because I want to talk about one last ministry that were involved in and that's aw our congregation not really a ministry but our congregation in Pulaski prison we don't talk about it enough because you know we always talk about Israel in Kenya and India and I don't give it enough talk as sometimes it slips my mind but it didn't slip my prayers it's really amazing what the ladies are doing there for people I want to read you a letter that I got it's a 20 page letter but I did obviously cut it down and I have approval from the young lady to read it so I this is you know very typical of these girls they've gone through how just hellacious lives awful awful awful awful and they just can't see God in any of it so I want to end with this um letter my first Bible was a gift from my grandmother I was nine years old it was red leather with my full name embossed in gold lettering across the bottom right corner of the front cover that's raised letters I remember thinking it was the most beautiful book I'd ever seen I like taking it to church with me every Sunday I grew up in church my understanding of it all was that we had two options for eternity and at 9 years old it was a no-brainer I said the words I was supposed to say and was baptized in the church I grew up in I memorized scripture said my prayers sang in the choir and took my red Bible to church with me each week God was still a mystery to me when something good happened we thanked him when something bad happened we asked them for help and when we didn't understand we trusted it was part of his bigger plan something that made no sense at all was happening to me on a regular basis I was being sexually abused by a close family member that secret the first guilt and shame I carried in my mind I was full of sin and God hated sin I started leaving I started leaving my red Bible on my bedside table unopened still thinking it was the most beautiful book I'd ever seen as the years went on my life sunk deeper and deeper into darkness being unable to repair the destruction I've caused adds to the inability to forgive yourself living with the guilt of what I've done is the biggest threat to my sobriety the need for understanding and forgiveness along with all the regret of the things I wish I could change works endlessly to break me down my 10-year marriage came to an end weeks after the birth of my third daughter I became promiscuous allowing men to abuse and use me in ways that inflicted pain that I wasn't capable of doing myself which each dysfunctional relationship my drug abuse escalated and my self-esteem self-image and self-worth grew smaller I was taking 500 milligrams of depakote 300 milligrams of effects or and 90 milligrams of Valium every day the massive amount of medication made this part of my life a blur I was 32 years old with three children divorced three times and sinking into the quicksand on November 30th 2016 me and husband number four was arrested for trafficking methamphetamine being locked inside a six-by-eight cell for 19 hours a day does something to the mind I had a lot of time to think and that's just what I did I drove myself crazy plotting against everyone I blamed for my situation then I progressed to replaying every mistake in bad decision I could have changed with that came the familiar guilt and shame with my mind never quiet my spirit remained unsettled I was hopeless trapped in the darkness it is where the voices speaks stronger than any other influence they tell you that everyone is better off without you forgiveness doesn't exist for the things you've done that you never deserve love you're useless you're weak you're selfish you're stupid you're undeserving these truths I held about myself even asking Jesus to forgive me to being a Pulaski state I started attending a messianic Bible study the first time I was welcomed like they had been waiting on me for a long time I instantly knew God had put me among this beautiful group one Sunday the rabbi came he didn't have a message prepared he was just talking from his heart he looked at me and said quote God loves you now I I don't say things like that but God told me to Satan I thought this is really cheesy but if you tell me to say it I'll say it so I stopped what I was saying I looked at I said God loves you he loves you he loves you all of a sudden I grasp the enormity of what that means I have struggled with knowing how to end this story because I will continue to be a work-in-progress I ain s God to show me who I am and I walked to this vision I am nine years old again I have long blonde hair and big blue eyes in my hand I hold my little red Bible I am dressed in what looks like armor of a Roman soldier I am standing in the desert wilderness in the distance I see demons all around me I can hear their familiar whispers only now they hold no power they grow silent when I fixed my attention upon him it is not me but the spirit within me the instant doubt threatens to silence me or shame me and attempts to oppress me I feel the magnificence surround me he appears to me as a massive lion I rest my right hand on his shoulders he carries me tempering my steps to his own in his Mane as a crown he renews my strength his eyes look upon me with fierce love and understanding he is the Lion of Judah as we near the mountains my enemies stand to attack the rumble in his chest sends a warning the raw that follows his mighty and deafening and shakes the very beneath me I lift my voice to heaven and Thanksgiving and as I as I sing louder and louder he roars louder and louder this is why we're here this is why we do what we do save souls deliver them and give them hope and life again so I end by saying faith without works is dead but it is impossible for a true believer to abide in the vine and not produce fruit let's stand together may the Lord bless you and keep you may the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you and middle of lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace in the name of the Prince of all peace Yahshua no face Moreira your air and open overlooker visionnaire ha yes sir I don't know boy porno villa ha the assembly hall [Music] I love you guys box alone

Channel: Getzel

Views: 11,686

Rating: 4.9625001 out of 5

Keywords: Hershberg, Getzel, Connection, Perfection, 10/13/18, missions, Neve Michael, Forster Foundation, miracle

Id: f_jw-wj5EO4

Length: 100min 53sec (6053 seconds)

Published: Wed Oct 17 2018