Conan - Dec 2, 2013 Comic Jay Larson "helps" a blind person.

tonight's a comedian who can be heard on the crab feast podcast and who will be hosting the best bars in America this thursday at 9pm on esquire network-- please welcome back to the show that's very funny Jay Larson [Music] [Applause] [Music] you guys think you know yourself I thought I knew myself thought I knew who I was thought I was a nice guy who liked to make cranberry meatballs have his back scratch and like candles during the day turns out I'm not and I'll think any of us truly know who we are until we're confronted with a life-changing situation when i was living in new york city i was walking down the sidewalk one day when old blind gentleman was walking towards me had a fedora had the cane a big heavy coat and he stops about 15 feet for me and he goes is anybody there is anybody there and I did what I think any of us would do I froze immediately I pros like I knew he couldn't see me but I imagined his hearing was amazing journey like if I shuffled a little bit like I heard just shuffle and I needed a moment to decide if I wanted to be there okay because this was going to be a big deal this wasn't going to be you know what time it is this was going to be a situation and I never seen it before and my first thought my first honest thought my first real thought run run right now yes you'll feel guilty for a couple blocks but at least he'll get to your destination on time you know he'll still be blind you know I can't change that my second thought was a comedic thought I'm like you know what you should do you should tip toe up to them and then whisper in his ear and then that's fun for the whole family didn't do that third thought actual action I go yeah I'm here man and he goes can you walk me home yeah just a sweet old blind guy needs somebody walk them home I thought to myself Jay someday you might need someone to walk you home we're all gonna need someone to walk us home we're all gonna need help and selfishly I was hoping maybe you'd feel my face you mean I've kind of ways one that from blind person that's high praise you know reject I'll let me see what you look like and I'm like oh what do you think he's like nice eyebrows nice eyebrows we don't know what they're looking for the baby I feel his you know let go let me see what you look like he'd be like what you can see in it look at my eyes are closed my eyes but he's a tough nut to crack he's not a nice guy and I wanted to make him happy you don't mean so I told him a story nothing told him a joke nothing finally go I'm a professional comedian man I've been on television he goes oh yeah what program I go Conan wasn't impressed but you know what it was my fault because I had expectations and you know what they say about expectations they make an ass out of you and me and then how care how well you think you know yourself you would never be prepared what happened to the next intersection light change I went to cross the street he wanted to cross this way because every day he had the same routine in the always crosses this way and then went that way but I have eyesight and the lights had changed and I had a schedule to keep and I try to explain to him let's cross this way and he started yelling at me in public you know it's like when a blind person is yelling at you in public it looks like abuse ok so I said okay not a big deal nice flying keeps flying and I turned them to go this way blind people don't like it when you turn them they're not a garden though ok they're not a garden gnome and as I turned them the old man turned and he kicked me in the shin we tie something the pain that shot up my leg burst through my chest and exploded up the top of my head maybe have a rational thought I thought to myself I'm like just throw them into traffic just throw them into traffic and I was like now I really don't want homicide on my hand on a to z so I was like you know what you can do you can just spin them around a couple times get a disoriented let them figure out for himself ok and I was like you know what Jay you're a boy scout yeah you got kicked out of the wii blows that's not the point you look good turned a leaf so I walked them home all the way to the doorstep by the time I got there I was done with this guy go all right man we're here do you need me to help you inside and he goes no that's okay i got it i go all right man i got to get going and he goes well hold on a second let me give you a couple bucks I go now so came in I gotta go when he goes nah nah nah let me give you a couple bucks and I realized he wanted to pay for a service you know I mean he didn't to be a pity case so I was like okay I'll take a couple bucks pulls out his wallet he had a fat leather old guy wallet flips it over he sucks summing up the cash they have every build moxley know what it is and he had three bills a single a single and a hundred that's all he had and he pulled out the two singles and he turned to me and very gently I put my hand on his arm I said sir I don't mean to offend you but you're handing me a hundred and one dollars right now and for the first time in our interaction he smiled and he said it's nice to know there are some honest people in the world and he put back a single and he pulled out the hungry and he reached out to me and he said you're a good person and I took the money from I said no you're a good person and people say there's a price for everything you guys and apparently the price to give an old blind man some happiness and can renewed faith in the world 101 box [Applause]

Channel: TheManWith OneRedShoe

Views: 30,301

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Id: v16nblI-5pU

Length: 5min 43sec (343 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 03 2017