Conan and Jordan in Japan - Day 2

it's done we'll be ready for the next meal well I think you're forgetting about the Asian conversation this is more than a meal physics and experience but food is but one component of this overall experience do you have meat here you have two men that are just there saying we keep saying we have two men well two of our men men I know I'm a man why do you keep saying that well again putting perspective on the situation are two men in a rich traditional cultural experience here we don't care about things like time I would like to see what we could have this you know take a little bit longer because this is a very special moment in both of our lives this is how we grow I want I wanted to watch the latest Mission Impossible movie w Japanese and that starts to watch the end of movie have you seen Tom Cruise dubbed in Japanese it's hilarious so how do we say maybe what we do is we start get through to get the rest to go would that be considered maybe we submit we come here the humility you're saying we are men yes who should straddle and submit yes you ready there yeah we are not in control we are this is happening to us okay we are not motivating these things all you need to do is sit here and let the magic path we understand you have this disposition that you want to take control because that's all you know that's the mode that your brain snaps into and even that take control you have no control your reign is irrelevant no one here cares who you are and we are here to enjoy an experience I'm sure that we here I'm sure someone didn't know we are there's nowhere where we are equals there is nowhere on this planet we're equals and I'm sure someone here somewhere in this neighborhood has YouTube you may know Conan O'Brien but you must understand your financial and career success do not apply here we are in a bubble we are 1000 meters prior to the moment that you've been born we are traveling in time and space to create this experience together I think we're just in a restaurant I really do think restaurant bring us I don't think we're a bubble I don't think we're travelling few times of space to observe controller inside of the 10 that that you're missing all the details of the reading this rule tells us so much about Japanese culture the minimalism the importance of every single object placement the sacred nature of the objects in front of you as you make your mildly funny jokes you're missing what's really important here you're missing the totsoni match you're missing the shows you George George you're missing the careful placement of every utensil these objects serve us I have a question you long sit you're an expert in Italy and Italian food and I'm getting the sense now that Japan is your other area of expertise first of all I'm a humble man okay and I'm not claiming to be an expert at any student of life and all the cultures of life i translating that is much as i am known for liking italian through that always said that the most similar cuisine in the world in my opinion to Italian food is Japanese food why because both involve the same core concept which is taken with the greatest ingredients on earth and presenting them various and whether it's a piece of sushi or a beautiful piece of law duty the Japanese minimalism multiplies not only from their culture in their art which their food as well I think I think it's real gonna be a lot longer I think we're gonna set a record to that key for the link one of these males you see your concerns with such earthly matters this time we are living above time you and I transcend space and time saying that in this moment we're in a restaurant you're in a restaurant ring Spyros it's fine I get it it's it gonna be a fine experience but stop saying we're transcending time and space you again try to exert control you konbanwa bow international language and then when this is done I promise you you can return to your life in terms of your control and your power I promise you that's coming everything you know you're feigning your wealth will come back but it doesn't exist here for these three dollars well can you live and breathe I'm Hank this meal so yes you honor me by thank this yeah yeah and you lie to me by saying my my money means nothing here I'm paying it maybe something to you how do we yeah let's continue to say that first line in this bowl what you call this dinner again well these aren't even on table no that's my dog Freeman item what do you call this dinner again well this is called ice ii there's a very traditional Japanese Yeah right you have to pulse she has not said anything to deserve thanks I understand they can just worry about a doctor but it is not applicable for every situation that is to say thank you I was thanking her for coming into the room right so what's wrong with that thank you as I ever wrong thank you being here all righty does every good thank you so what are you saying oh you could say kumbaya and what Iowa is well it's actually the same Iowa Iowa Ohio Iowa us alternative you insulting why well because Iowa is a state that is not relevant wait I thought you said that that was their word for though it's Ohio I'm swear to god I'm not trying to make a joke yes I said oh hi Ohio is what I wanted to say what's Ohio oh that would be hello in the morning and I said Iowa City like okay Iowa I thought honestly that was not me doing a joke or trying to be funny cuz their cameras here I said Iowa as I thought that was me saying but I honestly didn't do that and that was not me trying to make a mistake you were incorrect it is the state maybe and I was gonna talk to her about Iowa I understand that you mean that connection in your mind that's a great language to take a word figure out a word that you know that sounds like it and keep that in mind so I do applaud the other she is moments away from drowning herself in the QuakeCon rather than here one second more of this battle I suggested we were some shocking do they have a special time yes well I would like a cold sake you honor us to futures you honor us by choosing the poem and I apologize how this has we may have nice weather we say I'm sorry you can say I'm sorry very slow I'm sorry that I said Iowa I wasn't even trying to make a joke keep it simple I'm sorry I said Iowa instead of Ohio but now you're saying that even Ohio is wrong because that's for the mornings I selected evening you said nothing I don't know I don't usually Japanese but I've made an effort learn certain words and I appreciate you in the air tonight as well and maybe even together because remember we are students I am NOT a teacher I may seem in this position right now to use my body language but you and I together our students of this experience we're learning and that will bring even I closer together and this two men I don't want that stuff that two men thing really smell shake this will sell that no more two men permanent no stop it no more two men just stuck on it Jimmy stop as you know Japanese cuisine is be very healthy Japanese are very thin well Japan has the highest life expectancy and the lowest mortality rate and the United States by comparison depending on which scale you look at as maybe the 31st or the 43rd highest life expectancy and the difference on average is five years okay so in the u.s. at the life expectancy is approximately 79 years in Japan is 84 years and those are five good yourself you are 55 and we change that now the 55 thing we did some studies it was applying you started the Brian show 25 years ago statistically speaking in 24 years Japanese food Japanese food relative on average the Japanese do this five years longer my point is I might get healthier oh I'm sorry I'm allergic to pomposity there there is no shortage of towels well I chose my hands I took ones better than nothing I took one for the team what's you listen my point is I am concerned with your diet do you disagree well you are caught up in the micro instead of seeing them at work do you think I need to oh well we can speak freely to men that was again if you say that two men one more time out the glass you get through the glass into the water okay attention you speak English a little bit a little bit we are the guests and say yeah but I'm going to say she got that this week much English but I mean she did she did you're putting your pressure on her to laugh no I know that she isn't expected to understand is defining other languages yeah a toast maybe it's compact that's very good that's beautiful now sake is a rice wine yeah that make just made it rice well the origin is rice its fermented from the starch much like deer in fact as opposed to flavor the wine as we know it which is commended for sugar that's very good yeah we're gonna get our buzz on we're gonna enjoy this experience come on man yeah which for me involved getting my buzz oh yes maybe your priorities don't align with the priorities around priority right I just think it doesn't doesn't hurt to get your puzzle I'm saying you're projecting ahead let's enjoy this moment what happens in the future happens in the future no I'm not talked about that far in the future right my bus will be very very soon yeah I think your physical condition can be traced back to underlying mental obstacles that you may suffer and I don't think you know I work out a lot do you know that I do and right I think makes you feel better about your luck I work out a lot I could gain from title I could stand to lose a few pounds nice you work for me yes from you yes you're a man who turns this latest answer for the question into a Russian model I think this is very beautiful I'm glad to take the time to appreciate that everything in this room everything on this plate has a purpose nothing is extremely everything has meaning and in fact everything is you and I we are no no no you you are in this room and you have no function so I disagree with your thesis much of the experience influenced by Shinto police and the fact is that becoming the Shinto gods are everywhere they are in every aspect of this table 7 Mary 3 aspect is who and in fact they flow to us let's discuss what we think this is I'm not concerned what it is I am concerned arranged on the place everything is placed very carefully perhaps with tweezers this is not some raishin that just fell into place this is liver every moment by the way you're a pervert face you may play here smelling a lady's shoe classic I'm stuck just like a total creep sniffing you a creep Soho a creep off the off the port bow okay it smells good yes well I like to excite all the sentences and we should exploit this opportunity police I guess there is a sense there is a feel texture you should hold this in our mouths you should swirl it around our mouth it's weird man we are men we are metal should straddle submit and hold it in their mouth got to plan now look I'm not going to look at your that yeah yeah so let's go you tell me the shade over say let's just remember that every aspect of Japanese culture is influenced in some part by the Shinto beliefs that he thought the comi are everywhere in every object and they flow through us you're saying the Shinto is everywhere Shinto is everywhere in houses well I think your potion that we should look at your napkin and I want to look at my neck now these napkins are sacred objects these napkins are filled with a Shinto spirits and everything should be treated with respect but that's not possible you're saying basically in this belief system a used Kleenex is filled with the Shinto spirit they say that means you have to have you have to have a full-on funeral for every used object sure they must have a urinal cake is there's a Shinto God in the urinal cake the urinal cake has provided happiness by keeping their fresh smell you understand but don't like to pay the Shinto God who's a sign of the urinal cake good I mean like this Shinto understand it Shinto god it's assigned to a cherry blossom but when they're giving out assignments how does that Shinto God feel when he opens up his assignment it says you're a urinal cake at a bus station in Osaka that's not a happy Shinto the urinal cake serves you understanding these objects to serve us treat them with respect including the use now probably notice we didn't eat anything yet because him blah blah blah you know we would like to go slow our movement what do you notice about emergence and they're respectful and they're they're all necessary there's nothing extraneous as well and everything I do you've been taking the rap off the chopsticks I will put it into someplace I did extend it please understand a little line up at the side of training for the there we should take a moment and take a deep breath sometimes exactly quickly but I say take a moment since breathe knowledge of special this time is between the you and I and where we are and I hope that this is an experience that we will remember forever I need to be out of here in 20 minutes Mission Impossible dumping Japanese it's 15 minutes from here as my host I will honor you and let you take your first time or even guy shouldn't fight first well that's gonna be your decision you are a human being or free will listen what do we think this is what is intellectually I say shut off your mind and open your spirit okay we agreed that that's healed we are in the Tsukiji neighborhood Tokyo not as competing in those things for additional things to have finished so close to that legendary fish market there's truly she's a mrs. fresh fish doesn't mean he's still put an emphasis on the depression for the patient's back people always talk about sushi in how pressurized in fact really the sushi was not fresh at all fresh fish with the horse issue really good species fish obviously the process by the sushi chef marinated prepare accordingly any desires I hope this is not we hope you're getting multiple fish I do mental process touched by mankind very good this is very good I think you have underlying mental obstacles that contribute to your you came in Makiki diagnosing me you are not a doctor you have no training you're constantly diagnosed with mental obstacles are you talking about well you have told me that no not live longer but just uh be healthy I'm workout yes gorgeous do you have to go back just in the as impossible guys in 70s and this way I can taste see you can taste the scene can you taste the men of the seat one man who sees her I do BJ's the semen pretty good is that me - why just did has some enjoy reviewing Oh how you drink the soup when you can hold it like the ogres drums I never hear her coming she was silent with the wind well you play very wide out and boisterous but in fact this culture values minimal and you'll find that you are very loud and possibly annoying and and moon the serenity of this environment people here including beautiful she's beautiful I love what she's wearing respect the silence yes that's good soup a probiotic soup like miso intestinal flora really yeah that's funny because I find you hard to stomach [Laughter] you just walk into these I'm like a prizefighter your chin is just hanging out in the wind and I am slamming away who was there that must be rice rice by the time you can hear it if you don't like what something is you may decide not to eat it no that's not a change first and then if you're curious if you really like something you think you may want it again one day you can find out what it was that's stupid all I said was is that right in the ball you're saying could not be concerned with what is that's not all you said we said is that rice in the bowl you said in that he'll you said what is that so be concerned with what it is again not your spirit I know you're intelligent you don't have to improve that to me just understand that your intelligence is not what's in question I question your spirituality I question your emotions I said I asked is that rice it's either rice or it isn't runs you say is this another system a philosophical question is it rice or visit not rice you say that I am stoic yet I am overwhelmed with romance right now you sit there thinking you think you think this is a romantic moment oh I know this is a romantic what's up how are we having a romantic we not have a romantic moment because we're not we're not we are sitting on tatami we have showed you yours you have a beautiful koi pond outside do you hear the trickle of the water over your pointless ramblings Jesus I am overwhelmed with romance right now should I shut the doors you should shut your intelligence get me Stan you think with the head not with the heart you should come again sound like the win incredible yeah but how do vocal cords I had my diet you know hey don't worry I got mr. Roboto now mr. Roboto is a disguise for a Tennessee on character kill boy in fact it's the place in a dystopian future where rock music was outlawed you're a big fan of rush are you not well we're talking about yes you just you know a lot about rush don't you know about rush you're talking about sticks Oh stick I don't know what do you know sticks out those ridiculous well you know sticks Elam's reckons when I'm only serving to explain who the character of mr. about Celeste was his disguise you see Phil boy he's being persecuted because he was a former rock star and this was a dystopian future where rock music's outlet this is the time of rock opera 1983 I believe it was February 1988 I'll tell you something else religion I am release of FCB was very well master a.m. of course polygraph hologram with the parent company of Polydor which I happen to know from the Lisa TV Saturday night we've got to talk about this we've got to not talk about this you're on a horrible I know you can't control what's wrong to you you're now talking about a Styx album at later okay I'm out of time no there's never enough time to talk about states that way if you and I were trapped in an iceberg together for a thousand years it would not be time for you to go on about Styx 1980 something horrible well you brought it up I know your intelligence is not so limited to maybe double arigato mr. Roboto is online that people paint reference they don't reference it you love me I don't know or care what people do I certainly do I think you do if it makes you feel better to think that other people do as well let's stick with where we are and what we're doing yeah we just went on a whole rant about sticks but we are hearing a beautiful brown yeah and what section of Tokyo am secure you understand how a conversation closes we go off on tangents at Robert Frost said knowing how way leads on to way when one thread of conversation doesn't naturally that is some submitting to the clove of energy and that also has tuition so isn't anything Buddhism to submit with flow of energy mr. some of these dishes were Jesus she honors she knows what you want to see and she gives it to she's laughing for real she um you tell them I make funny I was not humoring me seems laughing I don't think you're funny but I doubt that she thinks you're funny what is funny about you if it's a lightful person and a lot of fun i'm comedian of some renown yeah not in this for me you don't have to assert your status and authority again you don't need to prove yourself to me I understand you think this is aren't you a little bit curious about what things are a lot of these cuisines were influenced by various periods in Japan's history going all the way back to the 9th century they're respecting different and blending different periods in Japan specific tofu everything just put here deliberately understand now I've seen your shoveling license come out like a tick of the truck but just understand that yeah well you still read to me I'm saying Japanese rice in particular should be safer every single claim job did you say last night last night even think it was shoveling there was a time where I witnessed last night had no place in this country or any other what did I do shoveling rice into your mouth like holders to a permit understanding not understanding of that rice is so carefully and specifically prepared in such an artistic way I had it very well when I grew up as you know one of six kids we we were very competitive about getting the food into our mouths as fast as we could yes there were six pork chops on the table you're probably the only very bleeps up to kneel always took to everyone how do I know that how did you know that I know about your mental problems I don't and you understand and I know how they apply to your current habits you think you're sophisticated you you spend money and get expensive Balaji wines are you talking about I think you've achieved success in life but you don't understand I see a shot I see a child and Brookline Massachusetts fighting for a pork chop to take it away from your bigger and stronger brothers who shovel he still takes like a pig at the trough do you understand when I look at you I said I painted the truck yeah you work for me one word for me and you're gone right you were gone and then it's no more traveling the world you know by the way why are you even here but why aren't you with you newborn child you know what why don't you with them so to clarify you are asserting your rank and power level is that correct nine minutes dirty it's usually when they feel in your core a business your butt with your rank and power your summary honor so to speak you are maintaining the upper hand and that must be deeply satisfying you are stronger you are taller I am in fact in a position of power or right now again I look at my body language and the tone of my voice and I'm sure this nice waitress well maybe she may not understand what we say assumes that I am the one in power why why do you think she should why do you think she did as I understand this culture and we resonant like a windowpane upon hearing a certain frequency vibrating back and forth she and I are resonating you think you're resonating with her yes I'm the one that makes her laugh every weather fly banging against the wind I'm the one that system I am doing great with her you play the jester you play the fool this is the role of comedy in history you are a court jester she sees you are wearing bells and bright colors right now she sees a guy who's wearing I am Sakamoto he has it already you haven't earned you that kimono it's you're a clown to her she likes me I'm the one she likes she likes you because you're a jester do you understand here's something to be I'm the one she will eventually marry if she wants to and if my wife's cooler she has no interest in romantic you're speaking for her God is a woman who might I'm interpreting body language also be a social circumstance you're in a rural environment you are planet and nothing but as he shirt which is tough to thank did you tuck in a t-shirt I didn't tuck it in your belly flat not what do you think in this era I am 6 488 us I don't know how you know yeah that's pretty good okay so I don't want to hear more about lapdog okay you don't talk about it that's you know letting you acknowledge so I need to get right so what about surgically removing and you see you're not addressing the underlying mental problems you see you're looking at the symptoms you're talking about the calories are the glass of beer versus the glass of vodka take those which are complex carbohydrate a starch by Civic index you're getting caught up and taking your calculator out to hire expensive nutritionist never address many times like home you know the underlying problem is those pork chops your brother's feeling those pork chops and maybe you shovel put your hand over your plate you shovel like a Neanderthal because you're worried about a rival tribe coming and stealing your your kill I never thought that says before they think you have a point would you pour me some [Music] I hear caught up in the here and now but I'd like you to take a moment instead I want you to say that I'm a fairly lean American male a relative to some Americans you are somewhat we know that's the best you can do that is an accurate statement and I honor you by giving you the truth I'll tell you something Japanese culture is all about honor and in fact saving face and giving things I'm going to even face I'm going to say that you're eating the problem you say this anytime you're met a big drop out what you're saying is you want to straddle it we're two men he wants to say it again with my face I want to give me face ya see that you are sending so many signals to me right then you want to have passionate sex with me that's what you're doing you want me to submit yeah keep it in my mouth these are all things you said you can't hide behind eating your little twizzle berry or dazzled se you know just say that on the healthiest in America I'm going to give you face I'm going to tell you that your mental problems have contributed to your success in a positive way so we are thankful that those mental problems are there because in the end it allows us to enjoy this beautiful skirt you're living off my mental problems and so is the whole staff as and a large part of the few people that's watchword so in a way because meals took my pork chops as child they doneall we O'Neill we did I am giving you face you know again that I thank you for by honor and I still do not however relational yes I honor you my friend hi Polly professionally and personally and this woman well spiritually I honor you by nourishing you with that self then I give you sake and I remind you that I employ you I still don't know what it is you do what is your job what do you do at work that is so super but what do you do day in and day out what do you do she knows what she does for a living I know what I do what do you do we are in butyl toilet never see new toilet you make yourself expensive espressos you walk around you planned trip you plan trips I honestly don't know what it is i toil so you control different I know it where's me presumably from the islands of al-qaeda now we are on the islands of function that's a pan of course it's a shot of volcanic archipelago which made over 7,000 Islands but really for of the islands our major when you're talking about from north to south I'd say the major ones are Hokkaido palm tree right kukuku and this addition mayor of rice there is some rice system is expertly made I would like you to savor each thing of rice and not shove it in your mouth I do eat yes I know and but how many calories are the glass of vodka compared to the glass because that's important never mind the fact that he eats three bowls of rice whereas most human beings would only need one forget about that how many calories do you see by switching from lines about oh yeah should be saving 40 yeah have the money that we get in the United States typically comes from Santa Barbara okay tastes like the sea that's time you not only would taste the sea you can taste the Japanese sea in this meal we could save Japan we can experience Japanese culture from the inside out from internal external externally we are aware of our surroundings internally and we eat this food and drink this sake we are bursting with culture and the sleep I think she understood the essence you are my only link to the outside world would you send for help I need to escape I'm sure she was not laughing meanest thing you've ever said to me let's watch koi eat your face just chew away we doing like that face enjoy myself watching ear face you're just I'm watching your face switching back and forth unable to concentrate to enjoy the experience because you're a smart man your brain is constantly buzzing back and forth up and down all kinds of angles and informations I see everything through your face why do you work for me if you find me to be so close what I'm telling you is I am trying to enjoy an experience with you and you are concerned that earthly matters like what I do with work just curious how will you work for me how many years 24 years 24 years yeah and I still don't know what it is that you do that's not just me know police are coming keep you've won been a fan of Japan I find that my own spirituality aligns with some of the spiritual impulse this year as well a respect for every object again these things serve us they serve a purpose in our lives coming under them this beautiful table I think that mentalism in this room really represents that they say something no I don't agree that every object there's money we're sit at Shinto was it oh [ __ ] oh God Shinto gods are also ancestors I'm saying here deceased ancestors are here these objects that whole know my ancestors are not here from Ireland in central Massachusetts they're not here they're not and it may become part of a new object they're like a potato in central Massachusetts they're not a beautiful marble bowl here they're not a jade stone here in Japan I know where my people are my people with every incarnated become used cars in central Massachusetts dodge darts balance Nissan Sentra as for my people it'll become a butterfly in Japan insurance the object surrounds us they serve us can we respect them understand new respect for anything in front of us we expect respect this experience where we are we show on they serve us and that lets us live a little stress live you see the reason why I go probably I said you would be dead in 24 years because that's what the u.s. statistics say but in fact you may go earlier because we're burdened with stress and the aforementioned unhealthy eating so really let's say you have two decades left you choose to spend that time cluttering your mind and your life and they're worrying about things that you can't control and I understand you've been around incompetent people who have to take control I've served you well so you may feel like every discourage you should exert control do you feel in control here are you starting to get the picture was I that you and I are students we are pupils right now us cope we are living and experiencing a different circumstance understand we are on the island of Honshu in the Pacific Ring of Fire they are punished rod about volcanic archipelago we are not in your normal everyday life we are outside of that life your travel to tiny space anytime just what you're stuck on today that's the record you stupid brain is flying is time to space and you've said it so many times head it means to nothing I don't know when is turning to be intervention why you think maybe your shirt picking at it yeah I don't why I'm picking at because you're brutal this song okay yeah you've exceeded your authority that makes you feel good right when wise will it work nothing that makes it feel good go ahead your blanket where's your woman do you like a specific will be like an old you do love you have lost your mind what's up whoopee what are you talking what are you talking about you feel your material it comforts you you're a man you're a tortured soul I see you QR here smile you are shoveling they're getting that pork chop in before the hill steals it from you you are feeling you're living you're saying direct shot you no rain to talk to you this right no right down to size you will more accurately participate in when I found this outcome what about this beautiful room and this beautiful meal has turned you into this verbally abusive there are people shooting this and no one's doing anything what is it a public use you've got cracked you've got loco in your kimono we are gone we are in your cabeza we are stop saying we are men and then we're traveling through time and space we have done both of those things do you want a loan show me let's drop the movie pretty you know you're playing with it while you're playing the finisher we come for vision comfort we need comfort right because this is not a comfortable environment right giving a domestic comfort well this would be a really nice environment people are here externally is a nice environment but what about NATO oven have rough nights my Mozart mm-hmm weird al' yankovic genius is always plagued by mental issues i we can talk about them and maybe we can help each other I think we should smell I think we should stick to your Bob we're here right we're in Japan yes let's take your advice not talk about your mental problems like it would be can try to have a real conversation I sold you clay Seki is not about the food oil is about the experience is about these two men that sit here and explore each other and ourselves we learn I learn about you anyone else for me guess anyone needles for you yes or me and I want to explore yourself I want to come out of this a better man than you Eamon we'll get to that my question for you is Jory yeah I think Americans didn't want to know in addition to Italy had a long obsession with Japan when did that begin for you like a lot of Americans my first exposure to Japanese culture is presentiment and in my case growing up when I did my fascination with Japanese culture began with the Karate Kid Part two now let me tell you for a moment it has nothing to do with Karate for the martial art that's to the very specific scene and that movie was shot and took place in Okinawa and well Daniel was staying in a real County with Daniel okay tackle some play by Ralph hamachi which is actually the Italian way to pronounce the Mafia a lot of that movie took place in a real cat which is a traditional in Japanese they go back to eighth century a room that looked very much like this one and there was a very tender scene where his love interest Kuniko who is in fact played by an Okinawan woman made him matcha tea and a traditional tea ceremony and I was fascinated because as I mentioned before all of her movements were precise and deliberate everything had its place it was a specific spatula and it's the situation sweetie and whispers and M shape and my fantasy since then has been to transport myself to fantasize as an adult about transporting myself to that situation and here we find their self and maybe we'll have some mock succeed at the end it may be our beautiful waitress will come and make us so Jordan let's recap yeah your entire fascination with Japan stems from the fact that you saw Karate Kid - yep and then it was filmed in where Okinawa Okinawa and you saw that and from that experience through your love and your expertise in Japan I don't claim to be an expert I am enamored with Japanese please stick to the facts am I correct yes what you just said is that you as a child watch Karate Kid - you saw that it was shot in Okinawa you fell in love with that Okinawa and your entire expertise Japanese culture such as it is is based on that experience yes I'm enamored with Japanese culture because I've experienced yes I'm a message here for you please press play and hold that out city of cameras and watch it [Laughter] it was Hawaii thank you Ralph Macchio [Laughter] all of this that you're doing is built on fraud you fraud I understand that you make fraud you love Hawaii to love Japan you love a movie set in Hawaii and it's Macchio not Macchio everything you have said during this long meal has just been discounted judge has just found you guilty and you've been sentenced to an eternity of an attitude and humiliation you are flailing in the winds like a used car a lot of balloon I understand the use of faith if you understand I became enamored with Japanese opening your second shot you said it was shot in Okinawa no it was shot in Hawaii yes and I also can't name the second gapper on the movie the point is the movie had a profound impact on my life yeah saying I care what kind of film stop was in the camera interesting you're looking at things a little bit too literally don't you think I don't think so I think you saw something on screen that you believe was Okinawa who's that you know but you know what it was and the gala it was it was a mini market it was a mini mart parking lot in Hawaii Ralph Macchio your hero just schooled you and you don't know follows to admit it you're sitting there in your guard your row of false words shrouded and lies half-truths your life as you've lived in it means we build start from the beginning create a new persona everything that you've created all this battle I'm at peace I'm a piece of my history I missed some I think your studies so here's how I read it I think you're stunned I think your childhood hero who just made fun of you and I think you are reeling but I think blood is leaking from your gut I think you are in shock I think right now you're in shock yes are you gonna try to talk yourself out of it your childhood hero just came out of my phone yeah and took the [ __ ] into your mouth yeah I admit you just ate Ralph Macchio's [ __ ] I'm gonna [ __ ] into your mouth he said it's money yeah and you were appreciate a nice little Geist because you appreciate things that's what just happened I appreciate things I didn't everything I am shocked that you had our Italian Booker reach out to his publicist and say hey we're shooting something in Japan and we have a staff member that really like the karate - can you read these lines you recorded him reading the lines for the phone you showed it to me and thought that this would have some profound disappointment for me he didn't have these inserts though that was a camera that was him yeah he didn't read mine yeah he said that you have the authority you have the connections I can get to Ralph Macchio okay yes nice to get set up my dad's fantastic you can't you can't are you you cannot you sat in the theater your connection to Ralph Macchio is completely misidentifying wearing the shooting that's your buddy Ralph you know I'm surprised I'm surprised you know news flash for you yeah you sat in the theater as a boy I Elias guy and grew up to mispronounce his name and not know where the [ __ ] he shot his you sir are fool I've you server wealth mafia shot macho macho macho really son its Macchio Maggio to come up I wanted to it's dynasnail oh yeah okay I can get to mafia I call the same publicist you do now they hate remember that baby did now we're gonna get come back yes well they have the authority guess what you do yeah first of all you can't do that for two reasons yeah listen to you right now you sound like an insane stalker I can get you we afford it to be with your eyes as white as a now saying I can get I can get sure I can get to him I can you're not back here no you're not gonna get close to him second I don't pronounce second of all said about my shield send out you want you second of all second of all for you to get close to macho you would have to actually make a phone call from work which would mean you'd be doing actual work and that is something that will never happen so no you will live any will die probably at a very old age because you're eating fish and sweet corn cob and you are going to leave this earth and you will never have met throughout life I can get to my yep keep saying that keep saying that the police are on your ass right now your stalker you're a creep a sociopath I think it's module Itemizer would be oh it's your skin this time we talk oh you're playing with your skin this time I'm running my fingers together because I've gone into the kill I don't realize you don't idea belly flab oh that's what you do oh that's what you do remember when I just forget when I come down to size when I completely humiliated you I am humiliated yeah you turn and start saying I have belly flab that's really mature that's big man I'm cramming the facts when you're taking you're presupposing but I feel any kind of humiliation this is factual he came through the phone why do you have a brightness that has a credit card II can't just put the credit card in your pocket or a wallet very smart way to go boys you lose it you lose both preserve all that's aesthetically displeasing that is benefits the ugly your flip color is that look at your organs you're the primary rally Macchio 5 min ago you are flailing Rob why our team has million more personnel nope no impact you just went after the color my phone you said it was displeasing you are flailing you were grabbing anything - it is guess what yeah you are a ship sinking very quickly the boilers of exploded there's oil leaking all over the sea there's fire you're going down by the bow old chum and you can't handle it you can't handle the truth you know movie that's wrong yes I did which one which one what's it from what movie is it from yeah if you could met you know where they shot it no you know what they shot it no they shot at the Arctic Circle hmm but you thought they actually shot it annales that's you I happen to know that you right now are flailing hmm Suellen I'm yes your flight well yes tonin's back me as a dumb phone because I don't like that it's a maroon color and I also don't like that great choice you said I could go with black but no no get me the maroon one coupon get that case did you buy it yourself dude oh it's an apple store you can win without which ones you go well I actually ordered it online how you ordered online it's a company I like yeah and so I chose the burgundy have you said a black I hope they have the burgundy in stock I like a red but I don't want a fire-engine red because that's fold on that bold except when I tried to cut my employees sighs but I go with the Burgundy because it's a little more subdued but it gives me that little edge so you have a little bit of an edge right there not for any black [ __ ] you're not like crazy to mature yeah well I look at you playing if you're lucky I look at you eat something food because meals gonna steal your pork chop so I don't care what if your phone Burgundy I see right through you need to go to hospital hospital right but your honey yeah meat he's taking a video of Ralph Macchio like it's gonna have its macho on me it's a - it's mushy about how that he courses that's how he pronounces his name yeah well there's like this credited you be snapped everything you think do you have any other gags or gimmicks you want to whip out your phone and I just want to know if you have a needless celebrities that you even have recorded messages from either your childhood hero you just coconutty listen would you claim otherwise yes they would yeah what what list is he on I think I was terrible I am 20 you that the man pronouncing his name incorrectly and I don't put him on the same level as Jack Nicholson if Jack Nichols isn't a you saying where alpha mafia was a name there has to be a gradation B plus a - he's not equal we're gonna go to the hospital Beauty visa day you were having a psychic right look at you look at your face look at my face it's a mess look I want you to look at my first love you know I'm looking what can I do in force I'm looking so secure I'm looking for a security whoopee no no I'm looking for actual physical security oh I see I want a security guard to take you to a man ice and take me to a hospital right I want you to be put on a lithium drip mmm and I want you to go to sleep for like a year right then you're gonna slowly wake up and you're gonna apologize to Ralph Macchio click on their penis celebrity when he's not is your childhood item I'm shocked to see stoop so low shot do you know the Peter Cetera song the Gloria love David Foster came out of the crowd it was also released on the hears Tara solo album solitude solitaire which by the way was also mastered very well I actually love this song one good woman I love I love what you did with Chicago I do like the David Foster produced albums well there you have it the computers broken it's just now spouting out random disassociated facts I'm sorry for me I'm sorry I broke you I had to do it all over again I might not have shown you I think it's nap your mind but what's done is done all I can do is appreciate this beautiful rhythm and the fact that you sorry for the shouting Karate Kid 2 is shot in Okinawa white so we have a psychic break yeah I know so yes

Channel: Conando O’Brien

Views: 250,349

Rating: 4.8021135 out of 5

Keywords: conanjapan, jordanschlansky, jordan, conan, conanobrien, teamcoco, conan without borders, travel, food, japanese food, comedy, funny

Id: GYzIB-lFlgs

Length: 71min 38sec (4298 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 03 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/FullmetalGin]

The Ralph Macchio part starts at 58:49

[u/grahamsutton178]

Ralph machio made Jordan almost cry for the first time In 45 years

[u/Danhedonia13]

I will be the one who she will marry.