Coming out can be a bad idea.

hi I'm Dave from boyinaband I've just released my song spectrum and it's a bit different so I wanted to talk a bit about why and how it came about because this song is a first for me in a lot of ways I wanted to try something with two of my youtuber home slices cry and mix both in the same song for the first time now I've been talking to mix about her wedding to her girlfriend chrism and how freaking horrible it was that chrism had to grow up with a family that was actively against her because they were really religious and their religion stigmatized her sexuality well Chris Thomas makes his wife now and I was at the wedding and shockingly enough no homophobic gods smited anyone how not even a little smite but yeah that talk made me think about how there are so many people in this situation where coming-out means getting severely attacked or disowned by your family so I was trying to figure out what I could do that would be useful for these people and whenever I'm in a difficult situation I've always turned to music so I thought if I make something really specific about this issue perhaps that's something they could listen to again and again to get them through those difficult times whilst also telling a story of what they're going through for those of us who aren't familiar with that struggle and that's where another one of the firsts for me comes in I've always wanted to do high-quality music videos so far it's just been me doing my best to organize everything but I figured for this with help from a professional I could really tell the story of what was going on so I was looking around for someone to help me figure this out and I have a friend called Dwayne which let's be honest is one of the most weirdly satisfying names to say in the world Dwayne Dwayne Dwayne works for a non-profit called somewhere too because they help people find somewhere to do things and he offered to get them to give me advice and find a place for me to do the video they found me this frickin awesome grungy location they found locations for like videos band rehearsal spaces business ventures freaking loads of stuff and it's sponsored by the Big Lottery Fund so it was all free I had no idea this kind of thing existed I would have used it crap tons if I had I know a lot of you home slices who watch me are really creative yourself so I thought you might want to know about it I wanted to go for something that suited the feel of the song but also told the story so the director there was a director it was weird suggested putting the sets for the story inside the main location to kind of reflect the confined situation I'm in a metaphor so that was a bit arty I hope that came across I feel frickin amazing getting to try out all this new stuff and even more amazing getting to share it with you guys honestly like how I feel about this rather than having to play it cool or something but yeah this was another first for me in terms of the issue as well this was the first time it properly addressed an issue that I wasn't directly affected by so I want to clarify a few things about the song because I know some people will think it's a bad thing to suggest that people hide their sexuality regardless of circumstance and while ideally I obviously agree with that in a real world people don't always have a situation where it's safe to do that these are people that have to listen to the conventional Hollywood idea that you should come out and everyone will accept you but then rationalize that against statistics like the fact that 40 percent of homeless youth in America are LGBT like if you're in your early teens and you have hardcore Christian delusional parents who think that being gay is Satan then they're gonna frickin abuse you or potentially kick you out or send you to some camp to try and fix you or something so for those people if they carefully bring up the topic with their parents to kind of judge what their opinions are on the subject and they'll know whether or not it's safe to come out to them I did do my research as much as I could I like I said I was talking to mixing chrism who was in a very similar situation to the one I talked about in the song I also talked to my friend cry who was pansexual and he actually had a really funny story about how he realized that I'll leave that to him to tell but yeah both minks and cry are in situations where they are able to be themselves they're in a place where they can say with experience that it's possible for LGBT people to have a happy life where they don't have to restrict themselves and I asked both of them what they thought would be the most important thing to tell their LGBT fans they both responded with if you're gay or bisexual and don't come out to them unless you know they're like not totally like oh my god no this is unholy or something then just no real reason to be like shout mom freaking games yeah I get messages like how do I come out to them and the answer is wait so you'll be able to be financially stable and there's no risk of you being kicked out for your crazy [ __ ] family and then tell them so my advice is to step back from the situation and think rationally of will I be assaulted for saying this or this today so I hope you do enjoy the music video thanks again so much to cryin mates for being on my song and to somewhere too for providing the space I made a video over on their site to explain a bit more about it if you're interested I'd love to hear about anything you get inspired to do from looking on there in the comments and say something nice to Duane when you contact them cuz Duane is lovely just for watching and have a nice day miss identify because the clenching of her teeth was just her biting on the line logic said it's gonna be ok I'm in Australia at the moment and this is not my Pokemon collection it's actually Mac's mofos I'm staying at his house for a bit gonna make a video with him don't know if you know who he is he's not quite the same content as me mats do you want to do a cameo max say something nice you have beautiful hair oh thank you that'll be using that woman

Channel: Boyinaband

Views: 1,155,156

Rating: 4.9219646 out of 5

Keywords: Spectrum, Cry, Cryaotic, Minx, mangaminx, therpgminx, limelight, hello monsta, town of salem, murder, too much fun, lgbt, gay rights, homophobia, hold on, boyinaband, boy in a band, rap, electronic, screamo, metal, dwain

Id: g0wlTye5fsc

Length: 5min 29sec (329 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 27 2015

Reddit Comments

[u/PucciPanda]

Oh hey it's Dave! I love this guy, he does great music production tutorials

Edit: Spelling

[u/[deleted]]

Boyinaband <3