Comedians on OJ Simpson

well let's get to o.j o.j simpson's lawyers say they don't want the families of nicole brown and ronald goldman in the courtroom during the trial they're afraid the presence of the family members will just remind oj of how much more killing he still has to do you know and white people when y'all get mad at us like over the o.j thing you remember that one nigga fuck up they want to kill all of us fuck oj that's not our nigga that's y'all niggas you know what i'm saying after he fuck up you want to send him back to us we don't want him that's y'all nigga he never killed nobody when he hung out with niggas god with y'all chop chop stab stab we knew he wasn't a nigga from the fucking commercials only nigga that can run through the airport through security nobody touching let one of us in here run through the motherfucking airport click click get down get down and the pope came out with a book this week which contains a series of essays examining faith and morality in today's secular world and the changing role of the catholic church as it approaches the 21st century the book is entitled god himself told me that oj is guilty but no he gonna go put out a tape his version he's not a smart man you know he's starting to tape off trying to discredit his wife now she did can't defend herself uh first of all it is ludacrisp not to be confused with super sugar crisp to think that i would want to kill nicole see that was some old pussy for me you know i tapped that a few times dropped a few captain i was moving on to some bigger better whiter women i mean everybody i know fuck nicole brown marcus allen byron allen woody allen ethan allen debbie allen all your name man to me was that now i want to walk you all through this supposed crime scene that's right they say i supposedly jumped over this wall here on the night in question now if you know me from football or maybe one of my hurts commercials where i jump over the car or as of lately the high impact aerobic tape you know i got bad knees ashy bad knees there's no way i could have jumped over this wall and i'mma demonstrate to you i'ma show you with the condition of my knee there's no way i could have got over this walker oh damn my knee see so that's half a miss marsha case just right out the window now here's the kicker they say i allegedly dropped a glove at the scene of the crime now i played football what some 29 some odd years never once did i drop the ball how the fuck i'mma drop a glove at the scene of the ground look my hands is a train machine i can hold on to anything under any circumstance you know and beside the glove just ain't going to slip off no hand this big you see how big my hand is i could wipe my ass and scratch my head at the same time now i'mma demonstrate to you there's no way i could have dropped no glove at the scene of crime because my hands are so good now i want you to take this ball and i want you to throw it you throw it any way you want and i'ma catch it i don't care where you throw it you know what throw it over the wall [Applause] you see there's no way i would have dropped that glove in other book news prince charles released an autobiography in which he states that he never loved princess die and that his father pressured him to marry her the book is entitled of course o.j did it i mean come on [Music] a lot of racial shit this shit a lot of racial shit was the big thing oj oj was big that's right black people too happy white people too mad white people are like bam this is bullshit i see white people that mad since they cancelled mash black people waiting to ever yeah we won yes we won what the fuck did we win every day i look at the mailbox for my oj prize nothing no oh it's all about race that shit wasn't about race that shit was about fame cause if oj wasn't famous he'd be in jail right now oj drove a bus if oj drove a bus he wouldn't even be o.j he'd be orentho the bus driving murderer and everybody jury's so stupid fuck the fuck out of here man they're so stupid how could they not white people would have done the exact same shit okay the exact same shit cause that was jerry seinfeld charged with double murder and the only person that found the glove just happened to be in the nation of islam in his book o.j simpson says that he would have taken a bullet or stood in front of a train for nicole man i'm going to tell you that is some bad luck when the one guy who would have died for you kills you that's private [Applause] you don't get worse luck than that oj simpson up why won't he just sit down just go home just sit down you embarrassing everybody then got stopped again on some silly shit he gonna end up going back to jail for some just go sit down somewhere and what makes me think he's always guilty is that walk every time i see that walk i think he did it you seen me he wiping blood off his shoe and shit [Applause] he look like he's gonna kill somebody yeah i'll kill you motherfucker i'll kill again thanks i'm norm mcdonald and now the fake news well it is finally official murder is legal in the state of california what's that white man's name used to play superman christopher reeves put him in the car with o.j said chris stay here he'll walk his ass up out of there they're gonna mess with no goddamn oj oj is super nigga kill two people not get a drop of blood chase the dog away and still have time to catch this plane that's super nigga i can't eat a bean burrito without messing my shirt up i don't kill nobody i'm always late for my flight super nigga from seeing that shit brought back to oj trial that trial was deep because they had johnny oh johnny you know johnny johnny talks more shit than than jesse jackson the message jesse and jesse got messy we had a perfect nigger record to jesse got messy telling us to stay out of the bush no you stay out the bush nigga with that old ass baby i tried to help jessie hide that old baby they caught us the baby probably called the press that's an old baby the baby was shaving but johnny don't johnny talk shit baby johnny can get you off that nigga rhyme they got a little nigga go that nigga can rhyme you out of jail he got he got uh o.j off with that glove it don't fit a quit nicole was a hoe you gotta let him go that nigga will run he got puffy off what puppy changed his name to what oh should have changed into lucky nigga cause he was he rhymed him out the gun wasn't in the car it wasn't at the bar [Applause] that oj trial was deep wasn't it and white folks can talk to animals they wore that dog out was it akita a japanese dog did they wear that dog out come on we'll give you a show like lassie a gentle ben oh yellow come on you saw oj do it say oh jay did it come on dog the dog tried oh oh that's it that's a dog come on you're almost there oh oh oh oh yes you're almost there come on dog you can do it oj say it was a japanese akita couldn't pronounce the j oh couldn't pronounce that goddamn j if it would have been an english terrier we'd have been in trouble yes it was o.j since [Applause] the nigger that you call the jews it was very violent there was blood everywhere [Applause] i ran like a bunny rabbit i kept screaming god save the queen [Music] and there's charles woodson how about that i don't know what a season he had great manny he became the first defensive player to win the heisman trophy and congratulations charles that is something that no one can ever take away from you unless you kill your wife and a waiter in which case all deaths are off o.j simpson one of the nicest man i've ever met he was nice to me he's nice to my friends the conversation was filled with warmth and levity humor and wisdom he talked for 90 minutes and then suddenly the jew said you know what i've got to be going but it's good to see you again and i'm glad things went so well i said thanks juice and my friend said yeah goodbye mr juice they're new to the game he said no thank you for your hospitality good night guys and we said good night and he just walked out of the room and as soon as the door closed we all looked at each other like that nigga did that shit [Music] i feel like murder in the room

Channel: LaughPlanet

Views: 96,660

Rating: 4.8607593 out of 5

Keywords: comedians on oj simpson, oj simpson, comedy, stand up comedy, oj simpson jokes, norm macdonald oj simpson, chris rock oj simpson, jamie foxx oj simpson, eddie griffin oj simpson, paul mooney, hilarious, jokes, funny, laugh planet, dave chappelle oj simpson

Id: f2pk1aa5KWo

Length: 12min 0sec (720 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 29 2020