Colour Me Ladies Conference | Bettinna Carlos

i remember not praying that much my whole life because i was in disbelief and in my pride i thought i could control my body thinking that there's nothing growing inside me so i was chanting i was chanting day and night i'm not pregnant i'm not pregnant i'm not pregnant i would wake up in the middle of the night hearing myself audibly say that chanting that the first time i visited the ob guess what there was heartbeat already and i said lord if you are really giving it to me i have no reason not to embrace it so i took on the pregnancy and where is my baby she is there now of course i was still afraid i was afraid of public scrutiny how to tell my parents my parents did not know yet at that time someone else but told my mom i was seconds away from telling my mom about it i told my dad he did not talk to me for a few months but in the nine months god little by little restored everything and allowed forgiveness to take place in giving way for my baby so acceptance of my pregnancy was just the first step at recognizing how powerful and in control god really is but the bigger hurdle that tested my newfound relationship with him was when i decided to break up with a father the relationship wasn't working out um like what i said i was very worldly the person was not even we were not even in a relationship we were just flirty relationships and it was not conducive to raising a child and even if i had that fear now remember i came from a broken family so i have this idea of i want a normal family but it wasn't possible we were playing baha'i behind but we were not married and so i found that freedom in christ to break off from that relationship because there was no covenant in it we were not married i felt that i had the power to say no you know freedom is not saying yes all the time you're a slave when you say yes to every single thing but when you're compromised freedom is saying no to the wrong things and i said no to that relationship and at that time i was of course worried obviously magic i wasn't a superstar when i got pregnant i wasn't a superstar there was nothing to come back to and i wasn't sure if there was anything else that i could do aside from act so i prayed i said lord what do i do how do i fend for this child and you know as if i remember hearing it audibly god said one day i woke up one day god said it's time for you to make a business out of your baking because i'm just a home baker it's just my hobby but god said you bake as a business i've been baking previously for four years prior to that moment but i would just make wala lang there was no point to it i just like making and giving it to people but in preparation pala for that time that the lord gave me that that hobby so i was struggling but it was also at that time when a friend from college invited me to ccf and i was i was one seeking for direction on how do i parent what do i teach my child truthfully speaking what what can i teach her what good can i teach her i cannot give what i do not have so i was seeking for wisdom on child rearing and also looking for solution to our relationship and then that first moment that i went to ccf you know that the topic of the service was heart parenting it was the first of the series of hard parenting so talk about god's timing but god knows exactly when and how to call you and he called me on that day this was july of 2011. so after a few sundays of attending service my worries dissipated one at a time and i learned to pray to god according to my needs when i am tired from wearing too many hats as mother father provider worker laborer i call out to him as my comforter when i am in need for whatever for bills to pay for food for diapers i call out to him as my provider if i am need for work i call to him as my provider when i am not feeling well i call to him as my healer when i'm tired i call to him as my healer and when i need reassurance that i am not alone i call out to him as my partner and i realize that as i call out to god according to my needs he becomes those in my life and really true to his word i need not be afraid because god was with me and reading my bible every day and meditating on his word and claiming his promises empowered me and took all those fears away that god really is with me i am not alone you know if there's one name that the lord has been so real and so consistent for me up to this day is jehovah jaire my provider i first attested to this one week after i parted ways in the form of the business you know it took only seven days for me from that moment that he whispered to me to the first day to the first brownie that i sold seven days only by god's grace will he allow something like that to happen i did not study business but if there's a need it was having if there's a will there's a way when the lord tells you he will empower you he will equip you he will enable you god's grace alone so you know the lord has been the ceo of my business for more than a year now while i am simply the ceo but yes i am the child of owner the owner of my business is gone so all the decisions that i had to make from what kind of prada what to name it how to price it i asked the boss i asked the ceo and really he's faithful he said that in matthew 6 33 seek first my kingdom and all my righteousness and all these things will be added unto you and really he is faithful to do that he has also led me and prompted me to reach out and enable many women adolescents and housewives alike to earn as resellers of my cookies at one point i had 15 resellers all over the philippines i know there was some in cebu also most recently in my seeking for a new product after i lost my stint on idol sakusina the lord told me to make a cake and it's funny because even though i am a baker i don't like to make cakes it's very fragile i would only make cakes once a year if it's my daughter's birthday but god said why don't you make a cake because you like chocolate cakes and why don't you make it two flavors in one two in one okay and then that there that's my cake the all mine customizable chocolate cake and you know who the lord used to name that gummy i asked what's a nice name what's a nice name she's all mine because this cake is all mine and i named it all mine and the lord blesses every time you seek him for anything you know he's our father he's the kind of father anytime you ask he will answer he said that in his word ask seek and knock and he will answer and you will find and the door will be open for you only if we really read the word and we can claim his promises can those really be alive in our lives so any any business decision from pricing to expansion i always ask the big boss first not only did the lord provide for my family through my humble home-based business but also he made he made way for a showbiz comeback like no other like i said our best friend best friend but really with the lord nothing is impossible i was able to go back to gma 7 after i left them and i went to abs that's god's grace also for allowing that to happen and not only that i was also published they got me because i was a baker and i was not allowed to bake but that's god's grace i did not deserve that i don't know how to cook but the lord blessed me that blessed me with that stin he gave me that part in the show even though i am not a chef i did not study culinary libra promise and although once upon a time a talent manager told me expected endorsement child out of wedlock morality but i knew i knew my situation what the lord's word prevails you know a month later we shot our first endorsement for cb in asia for super bowl is it god amazing [Applause] in my quiet times with the lord i ask him lord why am i where i am why am i everything that i am host why am i where i am lord and allow me to read this to you verbatim because these were the exact words that he told me this was in february 2016. he says i made you a television personality i put you in the limelight so that you can point where the true light is i gave you the gift of speaking and made you to host so that you will acquire and polish the scale to share me effectively and give a testimony of my work in your life with clarity and impact to your audience i put you in a literal position of influence as an online influencer so that you can make me known to your 443 000 followers daily on social media and it is also of no accident that i made you into a baker so that you can teach that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of god i gifted you with a talent in needing so you can use it to show people the need for the bread of life to truly sustain them and finally i want you to know that i orchestrated every single moment of your life so that after 22 years you can finally come home to me and i made you to be a single parent so that you can experience the fullness of my being a father both to you and to your daughter that's what the lord told me that's why i am who i am now that's why i do what i do now now it makes sense the lord made me hit rock bottom because when you're at the bottom there's nowhere to go but up and there's also nowhere to look but but up like job he allowed me to suffer so that my pain may be used as a powerful testimony of how our father is the father of all who loves us unconditionally who is always faithful who is a present help who will always forgive and accept us and bless us even when we fail our god is a god who forgives heals and restores completely god put me through pain because he has a purpose for it he said that in first in second corinthians chapter one verses three to five so that he can comfort me and i can comfort others with the same affliction with the same comfort that he has provided me that is the purpose why i am where i am why i went through the pain that i went through because the purpose is to comfort others with the same per with the same comfort that the lord has provided for me you know with the lord your pain does not go to waste there is a purpose for your pain everything is god ordained everything is father filtered allowed to bring glory to him through our lives my life changed when i accepted jesus i i have been a believer since 2011 but it was only in 2016 that i got baptized baptism is a public declaration declaration of your inner conviction that jesus is my lord and savior so it's a ceremony but 2011 papua new guinea allow me to share with you a story that happened to me in 2016. um in 2016 i had a cancer scare that's why i was telling tita honey 2016 i had three shows a teleserie a hosting job and uh sitcom i would tape five to six times a week almost every day with barely any sleep but you know the lord knows how to call you the lord knows the best way he can get through you because he made you and because i was a workaholic admittedly he had to physically immobilize me so that i can hear him so it started as lumps on my legs every day it didn't hurt but it was alarming so i had it checked they had it biopsied one doctor said it's rheumatoid arthritis so twenty-eight meriyumanapu simultaneously on my left axilla or my kilikili i also had lumps i had it biopsied also and they were not sure if it was cancer so either cancer or arthritis whether they're related or not but the lumps on my legs disabled me for a time i couldn't stand up because there were so many lumps up to the soles of my feet when i stand it burns i couldn't tape because i couldn't wear anything above the knee i couldn't stand because it burned so i asked can i take a six month leave from doing teleseries i also couldn't make making poetic source of income lord indica because i couldn't stand so in in that moment i was crying to the lord i work hard i trust you why did i get sick i thought the surface was just i was i was overworking my body remember the body is a temple of your ho of the holy spirit and you are also a steward to your body and i was overworking it do you know what the lord told me do you really trust me i said i do lord i trust you do you trust me one hundred percent to take care of you and that kind of hit me i was so busy working so hard work work work work work work cussing out mother slash fatherhood but i was doing everything how can the lord work in my life if i was doing all the work and then i asked my dad i said papa please pray for me my dad goes to victory church and he asked all the pastors to pray for me we've nev i've never met them they don't know what's happening to me they just know i'm sick and you know all their impressions were about unforgiveness unforgiveness so am i sick because of unforgiveness that's not what they're saying but they're saying maybe there's some unforgiveness in your heart and during the time that i couldn't work i had serious one-on-one sessions with god and i would cry to him like how come my doctors cannot find out what is wrong with me they are specialists you should know what this is they're choosing between cancer tb extrapulmonary tb or autoimmune but they couldn't they couldn't find out there are eight of them and you know when i was digging in there was unforgiveness in my heart there was unforgiveness toward someone i refused to face and of course that is the father of my child so on that year the doctor the rheumatoid arthritis doctor said i can give you medicine to make the lumps be flat but the bruises will never go away don't ever think your your legs should go back to normal okay you know how amazing god is i will show you my legs there is no mark at all of any lamp this was everything was completely gone after a month of seriously spending time with the lord and i said lord even if there are still lumps in my legs or in my in my kilikili in my armpit lord i felt i was healed if you get me now lord i am ready because of course inevitably when you have a child and you're the only parent that your child has you will cry lord i'm not afraid to die but it's sad that i won't see her grow up it's sad that i won't see her graduate and lord that's how you speak to the lord you speak to him as a friend as your father i only cried for two nights and the lord told me you know she's not yours she's mine do not worry about her i will take care of her i will take care of your family but really god reminded me that he's the one who will take care of her and me anyway i was healed it wasn't cancer they said it wasn't cancer it was also another doctor said it was tb extrapulmonary it was outside of the lungs so it wasn't um contagious um so they gave me medicine for six months on the first week i had an allergic attack i i have no allergies i have no known allergies hindi i thought i was really gonna die because i couldn't breathe i was choking it was a payday friday ortigas was barado pinasso driver co so that i can get to the hospital and then the following day i said i'm not going back to the i don't want to go back to the hospital anymore so i seek um i seek an alternative doctor and then you know that that um that meeting with a doctor i felt like was a divine appointment i shared this earlier at the workshop because the doctor even without looking at me yet just by reading the results she said i think it's autoimmune i'm like there's no known cause to it but basically it's your body annihilating itself annihilating big word ask yourself why are you killing yourself dude i opened up to the doctor and i felt it was god telling me you're getting sick because you're abusing your body i was abusing my body so i decided to really care for my body and i stopped doing teleseries and it was a choice that i got the choice that was difficult to make because 80 of my income comes from there but it was a test of how much i trust the lord so i got rid of that to honor what he told me to take care of my body and all a few months later i attended a solo parent retreat so because no more telesco i had time i had time to be with my child to bring her to school to pick her up to cook for her things that i do not get to do when you have a very demanding talent area that takes you away at least 24 hours a day three times a week i was able to attend a retreat a solo parents retreat and it was in that in that retreat that the lord told me you are the mother i am the father you let me be the father and i felt lord for the longest time i have been trying to play two rows i am one body playing two rows but it was there that he said no you're the mother be the mother because a child is a gift from god a reward from heaven when you are blessed with a child it is a reward it is a calling you are called to be a parent so prioritize your child the order of priorities the child comes first before work but i would work first because i think about her because of provision i always say that parasite i am just the mother god is the father let me take care of you i will take care of you that's what he said that's how that's how faithful our father really is sexy you know i and that same year 2016 is really a year of testing and pruning me because god knows you well like what uh tita honey said kanina until you listen to god he will not stop telling you again and again about something he will really make you call it until you obey and god honors our obedience that same year i got baptized i said in december um five years of being a believer but i never got to attend that true life retreat where you get baptized because my work but because that year i didn't have a tele-series i was really able to go and you know it was a turning point and also uh my faith took a deeper level because of that retreat yes i've been a believer for quite some time yes i know the foundations and the fundamentals of my my belief the theology but it was different because god had a different purpose for that that was a weekend friday saturday sunday when i woke up that friday morning i i was so sure of my faith and i knew at that moment that the devil was trying to stop me to block me because there will be a breakthrough in that retreat i called up my best friend and told her and she said you know that fear is from the devil no fear like that is coming from the lord she said that day that's what she said so i went to the retreat on the third day the day of the baptism i woke up in tears i knew it was the day of baptism and i you know i woke up feeling so sure so safe so secure so love i have never felt that sure my whole life that i was gonna give my life to the lord so it was like giving my life to him again so i said lord you need to see what are you feeling thank you happiness i felt i was gonna give my life to the lord that day and i said lord whatever you want me to do i will do it anything i will do it because you said my presence shall go with you and i will give you rest if you tell me to go i will go because you are there because you will meet me there you are here you are with me through it you are there already and the test of that is in forgiving the father of my child because i received forgiveness i am able to give it can you imagine meeting a person who has cost you all the pain in your life who has made you work this hard lose all the sleep who has never contributed anything to the life of your child but no if the lord tells you you have to and that's what the lord did last year when i saw him i said thank you thank you for stepping up and allowing this meeting to happen and you know why i know it's by god's grace alone that that happened i told him i want you to know that i have forgiven you i want you to know that even if you don't ask even if you never ask i have forgiven you and i pray that you will also forgive me if it was just me i don't think those words will come from me that was the lord speaking through me and that's the kind of forgiveness that the lord has given me and it's with the same forgiveness that i forgive this person i am able to forgive because i have been forgiven and i can only do that because i received it first from the lord you know something i want to share with you about forgiveness two things number one forgiveness is a decision it's a choice it's not a feeling you don't wait for it you don't wait to feel it first before you forgive you will wait till eternity hindi payanda madating it's a choice that you make forgiving people who have hurt you does not make them right it does not justify what they did it frees you from the sin of unforgiveness it frees you so that you can move into all the good things that the lord has for you because that's the devil pinning you down do not forgive stay in there wallow in there with bitterness resentment no that's not the kind of life the lord wants for us the lord wants you to be free free from all the bondages free from unforgiveness free from everything that is holding you down and that's only possible if you receive it first i was once so lost but he found me at my lowest he met me and he picked me up he healed my heart and brokenness he restored me to wholeness i once felt empty but he alone filled me i was once clingy to men in the wrong relationships but now i depend on christ alone i was once very self-sufficient but now i am solely christ dependent i trust jesus with all my heart and with all my soul in all my life and i don't know what he has in store for my child and i i don't know if i will still find a husband god wills for me to marry but my desire for a partner is alive in my heart but it is up to god if it's god's will for me to marry bonus because he already is my husband my partner my lover he filled me already he filled that gap in my heart he made me whole already he made me whole already and jesus is more than enough for me last wednesday march 7 my daughter turned seven and every time i see her i see grace daily grace i know i would not have been able to raise her to the girl that she is now if it weren't for god's grace god's grace seven years but 365 days time say heaven no sleep barely any sleep only by god's grace and god's faithfulness when i look at her and i have nothing but gratitude to the lord for saving me for restoring me for completing us because he completes our family not one day that i feel that we were less of a family just because we left one member because god is her father god is my partner and we are completed forever lord sure i'm gonna call my forever now with you i love you i thank you i praise you jesus allow me to share um three more important points just to summarize my how the word how the lord has worked in my life can i see the slides please i want all of you to remember that the lord is close to the lost the last and the least he's close to the brokenhearted like what rika said god is the father that completes your family whatever it is that you are lacking in your life say god see god next we have a purposeful god there is a purpose for your pain i have said it times again there's a reason for your pain for your circumstances everything is god ordained father filtered aloud for the purpose of refining you like silver he says that in romans 8 28 he causes it for the good of those who love him why do you ask what if you ask why does if god loves me why does he allow me to go through bad times through trials because it's god's opportunity for you for to mold you to mode his character the character of his son in your life there's a story about how how silver becomes silver it goes through fire and all the impurities are thrown away and if you ask the silversmith when to know when to stop he will tell you that he will only stop when he already sees his image on the silver and it's the same thing that god uses he will prune us like what he said it will not be easy that's not the guarantee of god he's not after our convenience or our comfort he is after our character he wants to mold christ in us and if what it takes is for us to go through trials and pain he allows that but he also has a promise that he is with you but he says that even to the end of age he is with you and finally the third point that god is our partner he is the only person who can be everything to you remember i used to jump from one relationship to another looking for all my needs from one person and i would never be satisfied because apparently that wasn't the design the decide is that you look to god for everything and he is that one person that only person who can be everything to you and i put this in parenthesis desire to marry for the right reasons just to close just a light story to close i want to marry because i want to have more children not because no because i want to have more children and i really have the desire for a family and it's fine whatever your reason is it's fine as long as it is for it is the right reason not for selfish reasons and i say this because some singles or some solar parents and that what they need is another person to fix their life no it is only jesus who will really fix your life he will break you before he can fix you but that is the amazing and beautiful work of jesus because he is there through that beautiful process and you can claim that god is amazing thank you so much

Channel: Citichurch PH

Views: 227,946

Rating: 4.9438257 out of 5

Keywords: Citichurch, Citichurch Cebu, Jesus, Bible, Faith, Prayer, Hope, Obedience, Church, Philippines, Love, God, Savior, Messiah, Jo, Alfafara, Brian, Kairuz, Grace, Rivera, Brian Kairuz, Jo Alfafara, Grace Rivera, Cebu, Church in Cebu, Jesus Christ, Bible Study, Preaching, Preaching Cebu, Holy Spirit Cebu, Worship Cebu, Worship, Live Louder, Deeper, Christmas Special, Production, Volunteers, Ministry, Ministry Sunday, Rahab, Bettinna Carlos, Colour Me, Ladies, Conference, Bettinna, Carlos, Bettinna Carlos Eduardo

Id: Iotbsq1koS0

Length: 36min 30sec (2190 seconds)

Published: Tue Apr 13 2021