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[Music] what was going on there huh we thought you were sleeping daddy how can I sleep with two Twinkie burglar roaming around can we watch Dragon to please yeah why not why not which one of these turns on the TV honey I think you just opened the garage I'm just planning ahead I know was that a stinky D good job whatever happened to the good old days when you pulled the knob and on came The Boob Tube the old Do's got a universal remote control one clicker controls everything makes life a lot easier for old people like you what whoopy do for the Odo I don't know ask your father ask me what do you think you'll have time to finish building the treeh house ever yeah Dad it's kind of been halfway done for 2 months now all right I want to it's just I got a lot of things going on at work right now but as soon as I'm done I'm on it I promise hang in [Music] there hey look at sunnd is duck oh no that's not wrestling that's something you should know about for another 10 to 30 years 10 for you 30 for you [Music] hey Michael yes I'll see you tonight at the swim meet swim meat I got to go to that yes uh I'm kidding you I'll be there okay all right I love you Michael forever and ever manabe Mr Newman Kevin odoya yeah always a pleasure what kind of stereo you got in that blue piece of [ __ ] you know what I never a check Kevin yeah well my father's stereo is a b your father stereo blows that's too bad no I said that's not what I said his father stereo [Music] blows pay the man let's [Applause] [Music] go morning good morning Mr Newman good morning Mr Newman man Alice I was stuck in traffic for an hour and a half when's the meeting um it it started already what can I go to the bathroom go to the bathroom I told you that you don't have to ask me well the interesting thing Prince Abu is that the building codes in Manhattan will allow us Michael sorry I'm late sir some more on in a red Lamborghini parked in my spot so Prince habibu Drive red Lamborghini I red Lamborghini I meant uh blue Ferrari is this one of your partners actually Michael is just an associate but he is one of our brightest young Architects thank you would you like to walk his majesty through our design concept Michael with pleasure Prince ABI habibu Prince habibu Hab habibu I thought I said that when Mr Amer explained to me the type of man you are a Visionary who prides himself on originality said to myself let's smash the mold and redefine Elegance so I present to you your restaurant where is where is bar bar is here's the bar now the waterfall make bar longer okay we could cut into the atrium a little bit no atrium just make bar longer for Prince habibu still itchy you got it and put big drain in floor for a t-shirt contest no you're kidding me right water's got to go some place Michael let's just take out the atrium and run with that and there's your drain God I love it it is simply awesome yeah basically you want me to design you an Arabian hoochie house how dare you compare Prince obu's bikini hot Restaurant to this hoochie house this idea got nothing I me no disrespect Prince Hab Hab Hab Hab iswing Prince is not swing Prince habibu we will I will make this happen John I hope that Atrium idea didn't take too long to configure Michael oh there'll be other Junes in my life sir see that uh parking garage over there on 56 yeah watsuhita wants to knock it down and build a luxury hotel you got the commission not yet I just need someone to come up with a design proposal intrigued hell yes I'm Fourth of July in with the kids this week and right when I get back I'm all over it great have a great Fourth of July with the kids I'll put swz it on it no no absolutely not I I can't I just wait 3 days Mel these guys are Japanese they can't wait for their fish to cook I guess I can talk to my wife great see you later for drinks at happy hour with Prince ababi yeah my son has a swim meet tonight that I have to get to nah I'm just messing with you we're [Applause] [Music] good That's my boy that's my boy kid you were great you're not my dad ehh as far as you know what I was just joking is it really my [Applause] dad yes you did it honey you were so great w what do you have a dolphin is something that was incredible you just got here Dad I saw you what you mean I just got here why are you saying that I was I saw you you jumped in over there you s to here then what stroke was he doing Dad he was doing the shut up hey good thing is Daddy was here to see you finish he didn't see me finish he was hanging out with pink blo for some reason yeah what was that about huh the kid was drowning I'm going to let him drown somebody goes drown into my pool how you doing bill hurle Ben swim coach you must be dad yeah Michael speed up Michael Norman sorry Big Ben that was great progress out there huh just remember right arm out head turns left left arm out head turns right I know I just forgot at the end well that's all right you mastered that with your power people going to think you're half a dolphin out there really yeah Yello [Music] streamer D honey slow down it's not a race that's a second one in 5 minutes keeps eating more and more he's like a machine he can't still be hungry he's not he's just doing whatever Michael's doing it's driving crazy everything Michael's been doing lately is very unhealthy for him he's going to kill himself um like a signature building we're talking about scared the crap Dad how much long are you going to live 1 minute one minute Dad no no honey honey honey don't worry I'm not dying I'm going to live for 200 years is that long enough for you and me promise I promise swear come here you son of a [ __ ] hey there a fames here show us some respect you pieces of [ __ ] go home and watch VH1 man don't light another damn one huh Benjamin Benjamin what am I holding a quarter now Grandma does not let me eat ice cream because of my diabetes true but she says nothing however about a tasty quarter okay all right very quickly please count to three does it taste terrible 1 1 2 3 are you [ __ ] me first he's eating like his father now you're talking like him B don't you ever say that again sorry Grandma how did you do that Grandpa a good magician never Reveals His Secrets your Daddy has wanted to know how I've done that trick since he was your age isn't that true son hey Michael Michael who you talking to Jesus I'm talking to my boss ma take it easy oh yeah well tell him to get a life you got family here you he come on my mother says hello oh he's such a big boy isn't he on his big cell phone big right see you that's it get some sleep thank you Mr G all right good you done can we relax now sorry you dead oh [ __ ] now you better run I kicked your father's ass in high school and now I'm going to kick yours I hate that M okay good night you two Cowboys reach for the sky poah Haun no back to bed come on poas is off duty getting sick Sheriff I don't got time to be sick so now I watch this documentary on Asian architecture you got to get somewhere sometime sweetheart besides all the Woodland creatures will laugh at you if you collapse you want to put up the tent this weekend yeah I forgot to tell you we had to postpone a camping trip Amer put me on a project that it's due Tuesday if I don't finish the designs I'm off it so but the kids have been talking about camping with you all year you think I don't know that it's just every choice I make every thing I do I disappoint somebody so maybe make sure you don't keep disappointing the wrong people Don it I'm not out drinking or gambling or hitting on chicks I'm working my ass off so my family can have a better life life than I ever dreamed of having when I was a kid the only way for that to happen is for me to watch this sing show so relax hun are you kidding me will you give me a break one time the odoo's got a stin in universal remote control we're going to have one too I sick of this you want me to open the garage G for you yeah CL open they're about to be on it is he man you guys got any universal remote controls in there for a shower curtain or a bath mat for a television H I don't think so maybe for a blanket you got a remote for a blanket I'm sorry dude I don't even work here I'm just waiting for my friend you kidding me uh actually yes I don't have any friends will you be my friend whoa wow [Music] man yeah bed fast Bast bed so tired of my [Music] life [Music] beyond everything theil see anything but darling be mine sorry to sneak up on you I just you guys got a universal remote control back here here something stinks like St french fries all right that's uh probably me you know fast food shortens your life yeah that's what I heard but the way my life's been going lately that ain't such a bad thing you're looking for a universal remote control yeah just one device to do it all for me make my life a little easier quicker not so damn complicated I'm not supposed to do this but you seem like a good guy hey somebody noticed thank you I'm going to show you a remote we just got in that's probably the most advanced piece of technology we have in this place sounds sweet it is sweet the latest greatest universal remote not even on the market yet oo I guess the OD Doyles remote can bite my Advanced technological ass then I don't know the OD Doyles but they bite it hard yeah come in the back with me okay this is this is very nice of you what's your name anyways call me Morty Morty I'm Michael Newman Michael Newman about to rock your world okay I got to be honest with you this place looks bigger from the outside side yeah just kidding oh hey hey I think maybe there in the middle [Music] sneaky wow where's the Box does it come with directions not necessary just point click eventually it will program itself huh how much is this thing cuz I ain't exactly thirst and how you know lucky for you it's not in the bar code system yet so I'm going to have to just give it to you whoa whoa whoa what a cat here man you want me to take my shirt off for you something cuz I don't play for that team hey get out of here why are you doing this then cuz good guys need a break every once in a while D it enjoy [Music] only one thing you need to know M this item is not returnable why would I want to return something I got for free twinky you don't need it you don't need it man you do need a Yodo though okay good job let's see what you got baby look at me turning my own TV on I'm freaking whiz good so I talked to the kids oh yeah they're being very understanding about not going camping this weekend great told them they could have a sleepover instead that's a great idea thank you thank you thanks for being so cool about this too yeah can I ask you something yes I mean after you do all this work and become a big player at your company mhm would you really think you're going to have any more time for us or are things just going to get even more out of control wait will when I get to that place and become a boss a millionaire a big shot the first thing going to do is hire a bunch of idiots just like me to do all my work so then you me and the kids can do whatever the hell we want just got to give me some time don't give me that look just saying give me some support all right I love you go to sleep just think about it Michael absolutely stop with the yodel are you going to wake up 400 lb one day okay hey hey hey keep it down dude everybody's sleeping you got to poop again don't you do the humpy pumpy on the duck okay we'll just hold it in for 5 minutes and keep the freaking volume down [Music] I guess when you combine mass quantities of car syrup with yodel you get acid hey you said you got to go go already man sniffy long droppings today [Music] [Music] holy [ __ ] yeah I mean you're right in the short run plastic surgery is a hassle but 6 months later I'm going to have a face and a body that's going to get me to places where I want to be oh my mother uh typical you know she says oh this procedure is too risky God if Samantha wanted her cheekbones shaved down I think i' freak out too I know but I just think you know they're too Slavic you should get some work done and then maybe Michael will want to hang out with you too morning Michael you're looking very crappy today morning Jen you're looking very Slavic you're just jealous cuz Don and I are going to the gym and all the guys are going to be hitting on [Music] us a Michael M is my one and only forever and ever babe sorry about last night I love you I'm oh my God want that so bad a husband that I can kiss and love and and give juice to you've already cheated on three different husbands with their brothers I think you've given enough juice to everybody love juice you know way too much about me I should never have done that Montel Williams show even Montel Williams thinks you're crazy and he's seen a lot of [ __ ] I was desperate for companionship all of my husbands all of them have emotionally abandoned me they went to work you had sex with their unemployed Brothers you're a horn do Michael okay sweetie no I have had self-esteem since I was a kid I had a rabbit named Peppa and that rabbited me to you man the rabbit even the don't look at me at me's to a deep Drive oh my it's out of here a two-run shot into the right field seats for I'm sorry what was that she has so many problems why do you have to be so mean I don't know hello I got to go yeah good Robo dog and he can barking over six different languages it's so cool yeah it's much cooler than your stupid human dog hey Dad see cabin's new robot dog yeah yeah very nice very nice this thing is worth more than your car not anymore Ain R dog [Music] heyy okay this is some sort of reality show are you the host Morty we're the cameras got everybody in on it huh Sundance did very well also oh all right America have your laugh I'm an idiot D I'm going to get you fast forward nobody's laughing at you Michael you wanted a universal remote control that remote controls your Universe yeah but what controls my dance skills we got the you got to have that b we got the B yeah oh Morty likes it too Michael just hit menu on the remote no the menu at the right Lobster yes on the remote uhhuh [Music] whoa what I got two three cop sh's kicking in again a is it going to work what is this all right I love your life menu my life has a commentary it's ch full of goodies click it click it this is last Tuesday Michael was eagerly awaiting the arrival of his lunch order who's that James eral Jones James eral does a lot of boy H work but his anticipation quickly turned to dismay as he realized Alice had brought him a cheeseburger instead of a hamburger as he requested cheeseburger I said a Hamburg Burger she always does this to me Michael considered demanding that Alice scrap the cheese off but decided not to fearing that Alice May spit in or otherwise defile the burger in some manner a wise decision for that was exactly what Alice was planning to do are you kidding me sneaky my God what else we got here making no it's cck hey psychedelic where are we is this a porno or something oh is that my parents they're making you like bunny rabbits that's the spotu by hiding change the channel how do you do this I can't see what happened what the floor is so mushy and slippery feels good on my feet check it out you hit the fast forward button I believe we're sometime at your conception okay very good Mrs Newman no we're in my mother's V push it's a girl it's a girl oh it's a girl thank you so much thank for that wait a minute I'm sorry it might be a boy what do you mean might be what is that maybe that's a penis maybe that's a pen that's a penis that's my penis can I see that can you bring that a little closer that's a tiny schmeckle we have a boy we have a boy your mother must have some superpower eyesight cuz I didn't see anything oh hardy har let's get out of here so if you think about it I can re-experience any part of my life I want to it's amazing what happened oh God what did I do hello how do I get your back here pal got you I'm not freaked out enough it's simple think of a time and a place rewind and you're there um time to place time to place my God like going aaki that's me in the jet shirt go little me [Applause] [Music] go good hands nice hand thank you Michael Michael dinner's almost ready invite your friends if you want to so any of you want to come byy my tent for some supper or we eat at my family's Winnebago and watch 3's company [Music] y you mom why can't we camp in an Arvy like every other family oh come on you call that camping how can you get close to Nature in a tin can like that plus it's more fun to have to keep each other warm at night don't you know it no cupcakes yet but I'm starving I agree with you Michael you know how hungry I am I am so hungry I could eat this ah this is where the quarter trick started did he do that well it's a trick coin you buy a magic shop just couldn't let him know I knew that sweet now I got to get back to work so I he play W it's a very powerful device use it with caution okay who are you you know who I am Mory if you have any questions call me no Linda I think Stacy it's the most beautiful feed award you wanted to see me Michael look I'm heading out to the Hampton in a couple of minutes and I'm counting on you this hotel project it's a big fish you reel it in for me and it's a howy partner oo okay thank you screw it up though and it's back to the mail room atrian [Laughter] boy Denise just called she's got to go to rehab again so she can't make it to the Hamptons I'm going to be alone on the 4th of July Mr Amer if you need female companionship this weekend my wife's friend Janine wow really what's she like let's just say uh she will eat you up Sir excuse me I'm sorry to interrupt but um this is kind of important okay go to the [Music] [Music] bathroom dude you suck so bad do not Hey Dad how you doing buddy playing some catch actually we're playing some drop cuz Ben hasn't caught one yet darn it you're a regular Derek Jor yourself o Doyle love you kid love you too Dad mommy no I know well I thought she should have gotten voted off but did you see her kids fade handbag was gorgeous oh wait hold on a second Trudy I got to say hi to your son I told your parents they should come to dinner really that sounds good why thought it'd be fun for them to be here for the sleepover okay so great yeah we'll see you guys later okay bye-bye it's not going to kill you to eat dinner with your family sweetie I know I just got to build an entire model tonight go see how to Daddy I can't take a whole none of this and I'm not going to cool I can skip chapters ah what a family all right let's get dinner over with next next next everyone's done but you buddy let's go will you stop already oh boy dad's quarter trick I can't wait not to see it alone in my basement at last should I do my work and become partner now I think so get to it Michael yo we don't want to interrupt we're taking off thanks for a great night you had a fun time hanging out with me that was uh we did good right good night honey love you my schmeckle got bigger Now That I'm Older just so you guys know that it couldn't have gotten any smaller yeah it look like a little Tic Tac yeah come here I'll freshen your breath bye you guys a nice lady where at dinner honey see is that so bad kidding me I had fun good for you can you watch the gang for 10 minutes while I clean up can't you I just I got so much stuff to do here oh you got stuff to do I got ghost stories charades the dishes and I got to sew the duck's head back on for Sundance and fix his butthole way to go champ I wish I had time to do all that stuff give me a break Michael you're a big boy you set your own priorities ask me for 10 minutes I'm not asking for like a whole day you don't have to do that much how big a deal is that I am so tired of having this [Music] argument skip the whole fight yeah babe I can't sleep you can't I feel bad that we keep arguing no don't be upset okay I was a jerk M you are a jerk I love you I love you to yes that smells good hey sleep over catches they ain't going to hear us come on okay quietly drank CLS me in a it I got to get back to work can't we just do it no we can't just do it honey come on I mean I don't have any new moves for you it's the same stuff just think of life last time and use that I like the old moves come on all right this time you can be Sundance and I'll be the duck yeah but you got to massage me first great I love giving massages massaging away here it feels good oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah we did it well you did I didn't want the whole thing to go that fast I don't think anybody did yeah I'll get you next time thanks so we go for tomorrow what are you talking about at dinner you said we could go to lunch tomorrow and pick out your dad's birthday gift Dad's gift is of course I I said so so I'll be there need another massage or anything go away okay yeah I got to go work hey Marty it's Michael L yeah can I talk to you for a minute hang on for a second someone's that my door hello Michael sh where'd you come from you don't want to know can we take a walk sure it's simple uhhuh you must have been an autopilot autopilot that's what happens to you when you fast forward okay yeah I'll show you here that's you on autopilot mhm the lights are on but nobody's home the remote lets your mind skip around but your body actually stays put for all the boring stuff honey we should go to lunch tomorrow get your dad's birthday GI so she did tell me I'm I'm having conversations on autopilot then you're not going to be the life of the party but yes everyone goes on orop pilot now and then the big difference is now you've got a Nifty remote to help you decide when oh this thing is the best by the way your wife absolutely gorgeous she is isn't she perfect face tight rocking body you okay amazing what is she felt for a schlub like you I'm a schlub I don't know about that f i see a good-looking man right there you want to see what a stud I used to be sure yeah all right let's take a look at some of the girls I used to fool around with before I met [Music] Donna is that a manal woman a woman what is this Animal Planet stop yes sometimes it's better to keep certain memories just in your head so I've learned Morty good night thank you good night Michael get sick man fast for me till I'm better Michael honey wake up late for work what it's Monday already huh are you kidding me no more FL skipped an entire cold thanks to you baby I love you no more tal all I don't remember doing any work this weekend but apparently I did bad news sweetie there's no hot water what I got to take a shower well you're going to freeze your bum off it's all good yes look at me all showered and dressed and looking sexy I like that did you smoke crack Daddy just watch your tunes and have a great day with your mommy okay eating cupcakes like your old man right here baby dad yes sir are you going to have to work late again tonight H unfortunately yes is there anything we can do to help well I'm going to be partners soon and I'm going to need a lot of new building designs so if you guys have any cool ideas why don't you draw them up for me okay rocking roll I get the paper I got the P you know IED you're on it now yeah yeah traffic traff traffic no more traffic wait a sec here we go that's what I'm talking about Baby Woo you look a little pale there pal let me fix that oh look at you now you're all yellow from the scurvy Captain don't get the Hulk angry you won't like him when he's angry oh oh oh there's Barney I love you you love me that jogger had giant [Music] boobies okay let's get me that tan you've been searching for that's it that's it check out Julio eaus pretty looking good Mr new really thank you very much Judy finish did I finish um I believe I finished uh let's see here look at that very impressive Michael yeah the river in the lobby it's actually pretty good man why'd you find the time to get a tance uh I guess I can do it all sir you can do it all all right all right everybody it's sexual harassment Speech day now anyone can be a victim of sexual harassment Blue Collar White Collar a woman a man even the office [ __ ] no not that I'm mentioning any names Stacy here we go sexual harassment can come in many forms you see what is hilarious to some could be offensive to others let me try to give you a real life example because I'm sure I've done it like the day I said you want a promotion pray God the lotion I was technically engaged in sexual harassment hilarious sexual harassment if you ask [Laughter] me now there is all also homosexual harassment now this is like when one dude comes up to another and says something cheeky no this will be good what you do another y [Music] proceed I don't know about you Americans but to me there is no doubt rro is the greatest of all time incredible you got to admit you can always count on mads well if you guys love Ichiro and manui so much let's order them both I'll eat anything excuse us for a moment absolutely Mr watsy see you guys in a bit eat your own mat baseball players we just insulted their national heroes I'm going to the bathroom to slip my lists I'll be here these morons are so boring they make me want to take a sword and chop my own dick off that hotel design like to rip it up I think that Egghead watched a bad documentary on Asian architecture who needs a stupid River in the lobby let's build more rooms and maximize profits e as fast as you can then we can get out of here and do jell shots at America's greatest cultural achievement TGI Fridays all right Michael save a small over bit before we order I was looking at our proposal you know what after getting to know you a little bit I realize this is not what you're all about in fact let's just throw it out all right start from scratch the river in the lobby idea what an egghead move let's just keep all the plan simple forget all the niceties and maximize our Revenue that's what it's all about anyways the profits but do me a favor just give us your account and your trust that way we can get the hell out of this dump go to a TGI Fridays do some jello shots till this guy pukes up a lung [ __ ] yeah that's what I'm talking about yes yes yes yes the king is home hello hello how can you goon sleep when you know I got your presents did what is it what is it well if you bring your tushies downstairs we'll find out coming I'm coming honey get your sweet little buns downstairs too come on come on come and get [Applause] him cost a million dollar Ah that's chump change now you guys deserve the best and that's what you're going to get from I'm now on okay so this well look who's here hey you guys want to ride these bikes yeah let's take them outside wake the odor let him see what you [Music] got these are the coolest bikes in the whole town doy's going to [ __ ] himself don't think I forgot my beautiful wife huh not a biker a cowboy Happ are you going to like this I hope oh Michael it's Beau yeah I heard you talking to my mother I love it you look good baby I got myself a celebratory cigar too why not what are we celebrating what are we celebrating we're healthy we got a great family I'm Amy's newest partner oh my god you're kidding conratulations I know I knew You' be S I love it I love you I single-handedly landed the watah account oh that's incredible I knew it was going to be a great day today I heard her song on the radio this morning we have a song Honey the song that was playing during our first kiss oh come on you're kidding me right um I know our song our song of course I know our song our song is what the hell was that song ah I remember this place and uh oh my God Wolverine's goofy cousin but look at you wow you were out of his League aren't you oh yeah the notes smooth buddy oh oh look at her what's going to happen you got an answer to that hey okay seal it deal fell yeah all she's thinking about is I am not kissing that beard absolutely not that's going to hurt me wait a minute yeah Newman get it yeah you know I'm such [Music] a Donna oh my God I'm so horny now oh God I'm not get me out of here Linger by The Cranberries was playing during our first juicy kiss my God you look beautiful in that pink sweater you wearing honey you remember what I was wearing of course I remember what Janine was wearing she scared the [ __ ] out of me then [Music] huh I love you I love you too honey [Music] yeah I'm going to live till I die I'm going to this way hey my new star congratulations so down big guy all right well I am a little tired we the family was late last night celebrating oh you really knocked one out of the park last night didn't you hey you were great too all you got to do now is draw off the construction plans if watah commits to the major bulk of the funds looking at my new [Music] partner I thought I was already your partner whoa Cowboy I said land the wat ahita account you'll get promoted I didn't mean right this second but I already told my wife sir I spent money I don't have to do these documents it's going to take me months and you better get started wow I just got a big headache what I was like H I trained or something I didn't see anything oh I forgot to tell you I hung out with your friend Janine this weekend I hope she's doing your brother right now you bigheaded buffoon no no no no you got more yeah anyway the sooner you get back to uh work the sooner you'll be partnerize I taste [ __ ] you do Stacy did you put [ __ ] in my lunch I'm going to get going now sir Oh [Music] Stacy have you considered the consequences of the thing you're thinking about doing yeah what are you saying I shouldn't do it it's your life what you do with the remote it's your decision Michael I know so I mean we're talking a couple of months here I fast forward through it what am I going to Miss uh 30 arguments in a haircut remember the leprechaun huh one from the cereal Ed they're magically delicious that guy right he's always chasing the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow but when it gets there the end of the day it's just cornflakes huh Michael yes you don't understand the metaphor I won't do it all [Music] right Dad yeah we have some designs for you it's not a good time man maybe they have help you finish quicker all right you want me to look at it let me see uh ceilings too high the hallways too narrow stairway placement makes no sense at all what the hell's this room made up pizza well it's stupid next what's yours made up pickles oh don't be a baby Michael have you lost your mind he's 7 years old if he wants a playroom made of pizza then why not maybe he's got to grow up sometime and get the hell off Fantasy Island hey pizza boy life ain't about being creative it's about kissing ass playing it safe making your boss a lot of money and hopes one day he might throw you a stinking bone all right yes sir am didn't make you partner today honey I'm so sorry but we'll get through this okay I promise jeez that's all we ever do is get through it when is it going to end pretty sweet eh two green beds full kitchen steam shower and satellite TV with round town why are you always trying to hurt me one day I'm going to hurt you back Michael Newman I didn't know you smoke cigars and Now's the Time no Kathy this isn't mine I took it out of Kevin's hands yeah he was smoking like a chimney no I wasn't I think I smell marijuana in it Kevin o Doyle you get your ass in this house right now I hate you are you D move it I again dope is for dopes buddy get Choice guys no I don't want to my bik have to us loves you but unfortunately there was a mix up of Daddy's work and we just need to bring the bikes back for now but I already told C I got new bike well we can paint my old bike and make it look new that's a girl bike all the kids make fun of me I can't take this anymore f for me to my promotion well here's the Michael Newman the greatest partner I could ever dream of thank you thank you guys my family thanks you I'm going to do the best I can and I won't let you down I I promise congratulations thank you how's it feel killer feels incredible sir you learned it but I'm telling you not just cuz that watso project either but for helping me pick up the slack now that I'm spending time with my special lady hey dinky are you kidding me you guys have been dating a couple of months now that's pretty huge for this one no the first few months were easy it was the one year hump that was the tough part her inappropriate weekend with my brother and Cabo well it was a potential speed bump but well Dr Bergman helped us work through it didn't he honey hey how's he doing for you and Donna Dr Bergman what do you mean oh you know what sweetie it's none of our business let's let Michael bask in his glory cheers bask away partner took that basard a year to promote me what else did I miss did you need something Mr Newman who are you Kirsten your assistant what what what happened to Alice she moved to a counting couldn't handle your hours and she prefers to be called Allan now remember no no no and who the hell is Dr Bergman and I feel like Michael's making no effort to connect with me at all no no I want to I want to it's I'm I'm on autopilot I'm on autopilot you're more like Auto Zombie good one Donna good one Donna Michael relax who is this big mouth why can't you and I just talk why because there is no talking to you oh no you never home home to talk too when you are you're just sitting there staring off his I'm on autopilot damn it what do you want from me this is what happens oh my God he's going to answer his phone what the heck happened I didn't even touch the remote great you're going to stop watching TV at dinner now oh can we Samantha my little angel look at you look how long your hair is getting what did you grow a foot Bend get over here don't you worry I'm not going to work tonight we're going to watch Dragon Tales together what do you say Dragon Tales is for babies dad I want to watch CSI yes CSI It's the episode when the final lady's arm what happened I missed the whole Dragon Tales era [Music] what whoa hey hello hey what are you doing come here give me my twinky get back here you freaking Gremlin don't yell at peanut just cuz he found your Twinkie stash who's peanut where's Sundance don't mention Sundance the kids just stop crying about what what what happened he died no no no no no stupid idiot s daddy held it in so long he was your best he's finally letting feel it one night when the Dock's head was off he tried to hump my leg and I didn't let him and I sh him and I'm sorry what an idiot okay it's okay what the heck did I do I love you do you still love me hi Michael it's been I'm really k confused no no no no no I'll change okay I'll be a better man I promise don't go don't go I'll stop working so much okay I'll be with you to stay with me my God it didn't take the duck long to get over Sundance it's a little deviant but it's kind of turning me on yeah well let's kiss and make [Music] up no no it's not my fault it jumped on its own I didn't even hit the button not even close yes honey what's going on down there it's all right hi uh there was a mouse I killed it it's dead but it broke the table first how did you get in here I had a feeling you wanted to see me I'm freaking out this this thing this thing is broken it's just it's fast forward and on its own now it's not a malfunction it's a feature it's using its memory to execute your preferences it remember stuff about me what do you mean it's an advanced piece of equipment like too you could call it Meo f fast forwarded through sex one time I don't want to skip it forever I like sex I it feels good correct me if I'm wrong but you fast forward it through an entire year that's a lot of sex put it all together that's like 30 minutes worth for you oh no no so what everything I F forward it is just going to do it on its own now pretty much no more showering no more traffic no more arguing no more sickness this bad this is bad you take it back I'm deactivating my service I quit I quit everything all right [Music] but this is not don't be mean ni hat no no no no no no no no just get away get away leave me alone whoa is this a stickup are you just happy yeah I'm going to take my clothes off then I wouldn't do that if I were you there's only one place left for it to pop up oh no no I don't want that come on man I told you this I know is non returnable come on just take it until we meet again don't do that come on Morty how do I get it to stop fast forwarding morning sweetie yeah you want to shower first yeah no I can't shower because then I'll fast forward and if I fast forward who knows how long I'll fast forward for let me just uh how's this I'm going to rough it today like in the old west okay Don I want to tell you what's going on right now so bad but I think it might lead to an argument and we can't argue because off I'll go so I just know there is a problem I tried to get rid of the problem last night and almost ended up in my ass so I'm going to go to work and just try to figure this all out you want to work in your bathroom I told you we can't argue okay no more arguing you're right I'm wrong all the time how's that you want to kiss I'll take you kissed you know what I can't give you a kiss because if I give you a kiss it might lead to something else and then zip another 3 minutes goes by you're laying there disappointed and I'm laying there like an idiot smiling so I want to be with you every minute of my life and that's why I got to leave right now have a great day once again Michael De Donna in bed confused and unsatisfied shut up James I Ain wasting the more time Michael Mr Amer is here your first day as a partner you come to work in a freaking bathrobe I I did I did I John I just feel we should stop wasting our energy on corporate brown nosing and worrying who's got the better suit Armani Calvin Klein who cares let's concentrate on what really matters the work that's the craziest thing I've ever heard but God damn it you're right life changing I feel Freer yeah keep the pants on oh sexual harassment yeah speaking of lifechanging there's something or actually someone I'd like to talk to you about Janine everything okay Michael Janine and I have decided to drop out of the Rat Race slow down and moved to Morocco Morocco Morocco okay Eric Lamona will assume my day-to-day responsibilities and I'd like you to take his job but Eric lisof is the head of the whole international division I I've been your partner one day so every account you worked on turned into gold and know I wouldn't be surprised if one day you ended up being our CEO oh hey I would love for that to happen but no no no no I don't want a promotion [Music] no Michael you have a phone call [Music] Michael where that big guy 10 years ago you told me you wanted to be CEO great news Eric LOF killed himself so you better stop with the junk food Mr chairman or you end up killing yourself [Laughter] too opening virtual blinds 10 years how much worse can things [Music] get oh my God I'm a fat guy look at me oh what is this I got titties I got I got juicy titties what is that oh God no just take me home e can I help you hey Dad hey Dad Ben that's you look how big you got you're enormous Look Who's Talking captain twinky in the SS fat ass it's really good for my self-esteem maybe if you would take me like to Pilates like you said you would people wouldn't think I was rosie o'donell come on I love you bring me back to quakies so Dad will you please stop yelling it is so embarrassing cuz I'm my daughter mom I'm going to Derek that's you Samantha when did you get boobs the same time you did Dad now can I go whoa whoa whoa whoa who the hell is this Derek guy dah my boyfriend the hottest boy in school hello oh he's going to be really hot when I burn turn his house down and you get your ass upstairs you put some normal clothes on why are you so mean to me get them on now and wipe off all that makeup right it's peanut dead too this one's got the duck doing all the work God damn it look how gorgeous you look I'm so scared knock knock gang hey sweetie what's going on well Don and I were going to get a cup of hot chocolate you want us to bring you one you cheating on me with Johnny g string over here come on time out Mike I thought we were pass all that no no no we'll pass this all that no you're right no you okay hey it's just that you don't mess with another man right you don't mess with stop it stop it Micha you're is to move out stay out off of me you scking up for him go away go away I hate you we can't AR I hate you I hate you I oh man you hate me no no 10 years you're not finished yet Marty why did you do this to me you did to yourself Michael no no I didn't want to waste all that time I didn't want to lose lose Donna the remote goes by your behavior every time you had a conflict between work and home work won no not true lie to your wife lie to yourself but you cannot lie to the remote the remote is Li proof so you can't change what already happened but you're still a young man young fat man you could win on a back so that's what I'll do go with tobs I saw what you did to the duck very good nice work you feel that in a second all right please please just read my note I hate you I hate you [Music] Michael are you awake Michael honey are you awake where did all my fat go oh was just a dream terrible terrible dream that Michael you had a bad dream that a fun dog push me over um oh Shaggy the miracle dog yeah if he hadn't knocked you on your nogin you wouldn't have had the CAT scan that found the cancer before it spread too far I have cancer oh you had cancer you're the only person in the world to gain weight during chemo that's probably what caused your heart attack heart attack I thought they weaned you off the morphine okay Mr junk food since the head injury you haven't been healthy a full day when EX ex did I hurt my head what was it like six years ago six more years no no it skipped all my sickness I'm going to go ask them to cut back on your pain don't go what this that's not bad for your third lipo section one more tummy tug should take care of it looks like a tongue liing um look I should go Bill's waiting for me downstairs Bill you're still with Speedo torpedo whatever happened forever and ever honey forever and ever look Michael I'm trying to have a civilized relationship with you for the kid's sake I really want to be friends but I can't do that if you would just stop flapping that thing it's my flap I'll do whatever ever the hell I want with it you done look Bill's my husband please learn to accept that I really have to go husband Donna no Donna Donna Donna welcome to architecture building a better world for all of us architect of the Year 20 all you dreams came true [ __ ] Dad hey how you feeling Benjamin look at that look what your face your skinny face you shaving now huh kid uhhuh your entire ass is gone what happened good for you uh right um my ass why don't we talk about it in my office my old office ah the architect how did this happen mom said you were still a little loopy no no no I'm feeling terrific the weight how did you do it staple treatment like your old man you want to have a flat fight huh you got to see this thing just working out with Bill five times a week same as always wow we that's a looker Blondie big lips chesty is that your girl no that's your daughter Samantha of course it is and you better always take care of her and make sure nobody touches her except you pop I'm just getting ready for this meeting oh whoa whoa okay Absolutely I'll take off for you like to spend more time together all of us take you out for ice cream how's that I know your mother won't come but you Samantha Grandpa Grandma that'd be nice huh there was something was funny with you today Papa take a seat let me get you a water okay what are we sitting for here you go pop drink this all right drink some water there I have my water what's going on Grandpa died dad e e hey Dad sorry to uh bug you would you mind looking at my uh my shopping mall design again this one is cheaper but if you check this out you'll see it has a much better natural flow cheaper one like I said I just let me do my email yeah yeah you're right Dad um he ain't right you're a schmuck look at it surprise hey Grandpa oh my god when did you get so handsome so Michael I had a wonderful idea your mother's playing Canter with her friends tonight I thought oh what a great opportunity you me and Ben should go and have a boy's Night Out can't what do you mean you can't you have to eat sometime we could go we could whistle at pretty girls I'm down for that see he's down I don't know what it means but he's down hey please don't give me that finger I'll make you deal if you come I'll show you the quarter trick will you look at the man I'll tell you the secret no Dad don't you want to know how do a stupid trick I've always known can you let me do my work you've always known you're pathetic e e e what do you mean taking him an angel Michael an angel I thought an angel's supposed to protect people the angel of death your dad was his time you bastard all right leave me alone leave me alone you have your fun just take me to a good [Music] place the stars in the sky the moon on high the best things in life are [Music] free and now everybody it's time for Mr Newman to say a few words y Michael go get him Michael [Music] spech um wedding cake wedding cake okay where's the groom show your face all right Dad Ben I didn't miss my son's wedding wow this is terrific buddy who's the lucky lady very funny Mr Newman and Peggy is that you God you got old no she I'm just playing she knows [Music] that Ben's wife welcome to the family family thank you congratulations let's have the best night okay meons at you look amazing a Michael you haven't kissed me like that since you were a little boy you were the best Ma you know I know that right oh darling that's so sweet you know Michael your father would have loved to be here I know Ma okay I'm just glad you're here a me too bu me too me too it's beautiful beautiful oh beautiful look at her son of my favorite such a schmuck for letting her go but don't let me ruin your evening I'll talk to you later Christina Michael you've been so generous taking care of all this in the kids honeymoon absolutely thank you so much of course Ben's wife seems like a nice kid huh oh I think she's wonderful oh definite keeper here's one you might remember from The [Applause] Cranberries how about all the songs huh Bill since it's our son's wedding do you mind if I dance with my ex-husband for a minute not at all back by midnight all right champ got it [Laughter] Bill nice up [Music] you know for still smelling good huh after all these years are you happy of course I'm happy our son just got married not about that you happy about where our lives ended up ended it's not over yet that's myd it's true that's a mantha yeah hey what are you doing put a sweater on covered them up what is with you I'm just kidding I it's not used to seeing y'all growing up like this okay well if that's your way of telling me that I look pretty then thank you let's go get some cake I raise you there Dad okay come on dad Michael are you okay is there a doctor we need a doctor here Dad it's just gous one dance you pop an artery why did you make me waste my entire life you were fast falling through your life long before you ever met me you lived the life you chose big shot this is not the life I want it is looks like it [Music] is hey you're up how you feeling I feel better now that you are here Samantha's been here like 36 hours straight she said she wouldn't leave the hospital until you woke up why' you do that because you're my father I thought bill was your father I have two fathers one of them told me he was going to live till he was 200 remember you both really need to get some sleep and I got a uh PL to catch big F this got to go on his honeymoon uh actually I just canceled the honeymoon Kensington deal might be falling through so I got to go do damage control oh no Julie and I can go to Italy anytime it's not that big a deal that's not fair your wife Dad she gets it keeping the business going is more important guys I'm sorry you're going to have to leave he needs all right bye Dad bye daddy guys this all hry whoa whoa hey fella you're a long way from walking out of here I got to see my son you're not going anywhere get back into the bed hey in that Colin farell where Michael those machines keeping you alive talk to my boy Michael stop no Michael it doesn't have to end [Applause] now a [Applause] dad dad dad what are you doing are you okay oh my God help help help family family what family family comes first I didn't make 200 but I love you [Applause] he Michael the note rot on in your pocket forever and ever big it's time to go where am I you're in bed bath and beyon sir I was just watching you sleep you look like you're having a crazy dream what you're not supposed to lay in the beds but I do sometimes I'm back in the store I'm young again I'm young again well I mean you're not young young I mean I'm young you're kind of on the back nine no no no I'm just teeing off baby look at you you want a friend e e e up all night killing myself trying to come up with activities for a Fourth of July camping trip but you won't let me think oh you want time to think why didn't you think about the fact you just W what did you just say Yes you heard me if you keep up this weird attitude I won't be able to go to work for a year and have to plan 10 more vacations that make you happy did you eat a bad Yodo give me those big L what's going on here Ben Ben come here oh my God I missed you I missed you look at you buddy you know what I'm going to finish the tree out so we're going to sleep in it next weekend and from now on we're going to exercise together and I'm not going to wear a speed up okay all right and you got a nice jump I love you one day you are going to be the hottest chick alive but you still got to have brains so tomorrow I'm going to teach you calculus you know calculus I knew you'd call me on that all right your mother will teach you now get your rest cuz tomorrow we're going camping I know it's going to be the best that put a sweater on don't ever take it off oh and Sundance doggy ears go by very quick so it's time to enjoy the real thing e e [Music] Michael like I said good guys need a break I know you'll do the right thing this time love Morty P.S your wife's rocking body still driv me crazy okay Morty hey who wants to have a pillow fight yeah

Channel: DDF: Movie Collection

Views: 2,535,477

Keywords: FullFreeMovies, ComedyMovie, DramaMovie, FantasyMovie, RomanceMovie, FreeYouTubeMovies, Click, Comedy, Drama, Fantasy, Romance, Frank Coraci, Adam Sandler, Kate Beckinsale, Christopher Walken

Id: g4S1xuL6Q2w

Length: 99min 53sec (5993 seconds)

Published: Fri Dec 08 2023