In The Army Now | English Full Movie | Comedy War

see see how I just blow those guys look in there's the thing look up look up look up no game over you're again shouldn't we get back to work I'm working look I'm testing out new products what are you so paranoid for anyways pretty soon we're going to have our own store look Quinn's going to fire your ass from this place do you think I'm scared of that what is he looks like alert I'm are you afraid of him no bongs Quinn's looking for you I told him you were playing video games here hold this okay I got to do something oh yeah you're not afraid [Music] huh this is all for you see all the money I'm saving wow Quinn look at you you're looking fantastic is that a new suit it's got to be our money oh it's JC Penny well at least you wear it well is that brdy smell what did we say about leaving the sales floor you told me not to and I won't if this place catches fire I'm selling tape decks to the firemen you're not selling anything anything to anybody that's why we're letting you go where home no no no no Quinn hey hey you can't fire me come on I'm a I'm a crazy boy I'm a dedicated crazy boy let's not drag this out no Quinn hey look come on please I mean my rent's due my mom she needs another tummy tuck please come on I no not this time please there's a lot of personal pleas please don't let me please don't let me go Quinn I could be crazier let let go my leg I could be totally insane go you have a customer waiting you'll have to excuse me Mr Quin I have a customer a customer who evidently asked for me by name hi may I help you miss yes you sold me this Watchman last week and um I'm afraid I have to return it see I knew you'd be returning it it's too small to ruin your eyesight and besides I could tell the one you really want is this one this is our topof the line our very best 35 in projection stereo color monitor with Advanced super digital PMP I'm sorry that that's way out of my price range not with our $200 rebate no money down 10-month deferred 64 Monon layaway plan you ask yourself how could it be right because of we're a crazy boys sorry they make us do that that's a very nice offer but this is just plus this screen though it promotes good eyesight really mhm for four out of five optometrist recommend it okay I'll take it okay fantastic I'm going to take this to the cashier and I'm arrange everything thank you very [Music] much come on am my not still crazy boy that is brood I smell you pervert CBR Jane wased last night both parties have been making frequent appearances at the courthouse all day hoping Gabriel you were outstanding yeah right this is the last time I save your butt okay I work too you know I know it was an emergency the guy was about to fire me right it's always an emergency they better take that TV back hey they're going to take it back yeah how about just giving your literally Italian sausage man a little kissy po facilities in Chad the US has issued strong warnings that you are so irresponsible you be serious for one minute okay I'll be serious let's get naked not not now not here why don't you love me anymore yes yes of course I love you yeah but but look your boss is going to catch us I don't care about that perverted fat on a JC Penny suit B Jack turn it off turn it off turn it off well I can't believe he actually fired us oh come on Bones we blew up 22 TV set yeah but don't those things come with warranties I'm sorry man you know I didn't realize Quinn could see you in all those TVs no problemo my friend I was sick of getting down on my knees for that guy anyways wa bones I had no idea begging for my job you know what Jack though this is amazing you know what this does this brings us one step closer to the uh store no no no what this does is it brings us one step closer to living in the dumpster how are we going to get the rent for the store if we don't have R for our apartment excuse me can we play through yeah sorry we're just disgusting oh my God Army Navy Air Force Marines no did you order a code red answer me did you order a code red man you want the truth you can't handle the truth yay he's goofing off wow that was my Nicholson oppression good I do it sometimes when I play golf B come man I could say I couldn't help myself I'm sorry when you join the Army is it true that you have to give your whole life away no something like that with us we're in the reserves what's that let's just get this straight here after our basic training we owe you two weeks a year one week in a month for which we get paid and then on top of it you're going to throw in $2,500 just for signing up basically yes wow well then how come everybody isn't in the reserves do people actually know about this stuff well we do try to advertise oh yeah um it's not a job it's an adventure no that's the Navy the Fe and the proud no that's the Marines H keep going going and gone no no that's the um Energizer Bunny gentlemen we're be all you can be yeah in the Army you need us and we need you a win-win situation I got one more question can I get a pen oh no actually could we just have a second uh amongst ourselves certainly take all the time you need just hold that ball point just one this is insane why doesn't everybody join would you listen to him in there sh it's like joining a health spa only they pay us oh my God okay we are the beneficiaries we get a guaranteed check for 8 years and a special skill a special skill yeah the P here we go land combat missile op opportunities tactical fire specialist you heard him talking about combat pay right you know you have to be in combat to get paid for that right he said reserves aren't called up unless there's a major conflict when was the last war huh World War II no 20 years ago have you ever heard of Vietnam huh Desert Storm no what I'm kidding give me the poer we're going to go to the unemployment now just let me see let me just try tank T repair Land mining Specialists water purification water purification that's it what water purification telling you to snap my brother's a pool man he look you take dirty water and you make it clean how hard can that be I don't know and hey and if there is a war what are we going to go in there with h water balloons that's I mean but but yeah this is for our future okay if we need sign up right now we get a guarantee check for $2,500 if you times it times two wow that's $6,000 it's a nice chunk of change huh yeah but hey this is first store yeah I'll even give you first billing no you don't have Jacks and boneses of stereos just do it all right all right all right let's do it a yes okay everybody knows me for my hair okay what I need you to do is just just a little bit on the side not a whole bunch and kind of keep bre it so still I'd like to see it in something short but sassy the real '90s look something that works as well on the rifle range as it does in the Disco okay that's [Music] perfect all right is my head I mean look at it does it look bigger than it I mean do I look like a big potato honestly yeah honestly it it looks great it really does really really really it looks Macho all right look at these man look at these Army issued see I think those are unique idiotic no those are unique see you're distinctive no one has them really you're King all right one of a kind they broke them all when they made you [Music] jack I can't I can't do it ja come on I can't do it man I can't do it this is just like your childhood [Music] remember yeah yeah you're right you're right that guy is exactly like my dad see come on wait a minute though my childhood sucks no I I can't do it man I can't I can't handle being yelled at by some musclebound drill sergeant no man I can't do it get the hell off the [Music] truck oh wa she can drill me anytime on the double right now come on moed moed hello sweet pants get down here get down rough stuff down here and take those gles off what you think you want some beat or something what's your name private Bones come we're reporting for Dy sir I mean man Sergeant whatever you will address me as drill sergeant do you understand yes but you don't need to yell cuz look I'm standing right here I'm not yelling in at your private drill sergeants do not yell we simply speak in a voice loud enough so everyone can hear that way we all learn from each other's mistakes oh okay thanks for explaining it from here on out your butd is mine you will obey every order without question [Music] grunt oh you a funny boy huh cutie pie right well I don't know you but I don't even like you and I make it my personal mission to turn you into a soldier for the next 8 weeks I'll be all over your butt like white old rice is that a promise give me 20 W my wallet drop and give me 20 hold this boy you better get on that ground and give me them push-ups ah it's been a while yeah all the way up and down right [Music] PP w a is that [Music] good up upbody on your feet up the right now [Music] sleeping get your butt off that bre [Music] back I'm up I'm up I'm up extend to the left all right all right we going to be getting grass drills I say running place I say go go [Applause] Jack yeah run where'd the sun go there is no sun any more bones sun is gone we died and this is hell oh okay thanks for explaining priv it got that weapon around backwards [Music] thanks see the picture on the front of this [Music] weapon it's put there for privates like you it's idiot proof Dam it the gig line runs down the seam of your shirt through the edge of your belt buckle down the seam of your zipper this is a straight gig line see it learn it do it from here on out anyone without a straight gig line will have to answer to me [Music] Conway what the hell is this just Sergeant I guess my gig lining straightening [Music] huh oh thank you Jo sergant don't thank me thank you recruiter come on boy come on you can't do it I know you can't do it the two types of Bayon that Fighters the quick and the dead what are you what are they what are you what are they what are you what are they [Applause] volun what are you crazy I sure am I'm a crazy boy hello Conway yes ma'am come here um Mom on my way woo hi hit let's not fight come here hit me and you'll be sorry I can't hit you you're a girl and I love you you got two seconds to hit [Music] me okay but this is going to Hur oh [ __ ] I'm sorry I was just going to I'm going to teach you a lesson never drop you're got it can I please throw up [Music] now get up get mad you get mad you get mad at now listen to me very carefully private this is exact L the same as practice but this is a real live grenade I want you to do exactly as you've been trained yes just Sergeant when I give the command to execute I want you to drop the pen throw the grenade yes your sergeant drop the pen throw the grenade yes Jo Sergeant execute move it thanks Joe Sergeant you saved my life I owe you one no you owe me 50 50 mama mama can't you see M can't you see Sergeant L made a man and that I will obey the orders of the president of the United States and I will obey the orders of the president of the United States and the orders of the officers appointed over me the ERS of the officers according to regulations according to regulations and the uniform code of military justice milary justice so help me God so help nice me you bye good take care bye ah it's the uniforms man know private Conway never thought I'd say this but I think I've done the impossible I've turned you into soldiers thank you drill sergeant carry on uh is this uh unit 341 that's US soldier hey phones Conway here this is my partner jck hi Christine nice to meet you look like we'll be working together Christine Al G Jan right what brings a pretty little lady like you to water purification I wanted infantry but until they ask that crap about women not being allowed in combat I'll just have to settle for kicking your little butt that would be nice nice feisty one huh like that shut up yeah I know I'm going to have to kill your friend hey Bones Conway hey uh Fred AO good to meet you you okay Fred oh man I'm fine yeah thanks thank you so uh what do you do when you don't purify water well I'm going into my uh final year of dental school wow and now now that is great no it's not why did you know the dentists are more feared and loathed than any other profession that's including lawyers no see I don't think people hate dentists it's just the sound of that drill yeah and then they stick that sucking thing in the back of your like and the nurse says oh that and then they Jam those cardboard x-ray things and then they and you know when there's you had a cavity and they did that Little Pony thing and then right the nurse leaves and she goes to lunch and she D act there right meanwhile there is a lead apron right on the thing and you're sitting there [Applause] like see see that's what I'm talking about if you don't want to talk about it it's okay oh no no no it's good we should talk about it cuz my therapist uh said that I need to get it out kind of like an emotional enema so we talked about it and said why not join the Army Reserve be all that you can be on the weekends yeah maybe it' help me to face those things in my life that I'm most afraid of and what are you afraid of uh well I'd have to say uh damn near everything floss hey keep it good morning purifying our water is one of the most vital operations in the military it is absolutely vital that you know your equipment inside and [Music] out two soldiers must man the hose at all times this is for your own safety people okay never lose control of your hes a a turn it off turn [Music] it after careful training you will be able to produce potable water from the most disgusting swampy parasite infected diseased water guys look it's our first glass of purified water all right go for it man try it nah I'm not going to try here you try it ah I'm not going to try it we should get Christine yeah she'll taste anything I'm not going to try it let's get Freddy okay oh Freddy no no thanks I'm allergic it'll make me break out well then who's going to try [Music] it [Music] who's the leader of this outfit he is he is son I've been doing this for a long time and I got to say this is the best damn glass of purified water I ever had congratulations you keep this up and I'll be putting you in for private first class thank you Sergeant but I could not have done it without the inspirational guidance of my brother the pool [Music] man back honey excuse me going to go fresh in [Applause] H Jack get the phone who is it what a freak going on about wild geese Migra B what don't which way who cares North or South South yes yes yes what you guys don't you remember about the code so that if we got called up for active duty then we would know that it was for real it's got to be a mistake it's got to be Chad hello Mama it's Frederick uh you sitting down Chad is in the African country the one that Libby is about to invade uh turn off the [Music] music do you remember when you told me that every black man should visit the motherland bones why do you think I chose water purification M it's your brother a old man no it's because Chad is in a desert and water purification is the reserve occupation most likely to be called up if there's a desert war and there's a desert war and we're going that's it phones I'm going to kill you you got to relax here okay I'm going to get us out of this one trust [Music] me at e sir I know we're going to Chad but there's something that you need to know about Jack and I before we go sir yes uh uh bones and I are very close uh friends very oh I see and that case boys I guess you're not going to Chad sorry to disappoint you sir uh just one thing anything kiss him excuse me kiss your friend you don't have a problem with that now do you oh no he kisses me every day just do it is it hot in Chad as the Libyan raids against UN forces near the border continue this us B force is being ready to deter The Invasion threatened by the Libyan leader in his television broadcast last night and as the buildup here continues the first Army Reserve units arrived here today these units will Aid in the supply and logistical support of the growing us presence here these troops are in High Spirits and the moral is high and their hopes are high and this will remain reporting live from Chad for worldwide news report this is too cre [Music] I am First Sergeant Brandon T Williams it is my intention to run this company like a clock if one gear slips in my clock my clock can tell the wrong time if one spring is loose in my clock my clock can tell the wrong time first sergeant will Li just like to tell the right time do you understand me what did he just say I don't know something about his clock being broken have my words Fallen upon deaf ears yes Sergeant I mean no Sergeant don't you know I'm your first sergeant well actually I wish you were my first sergeant but I already had a couple ones already drop and give me push-ups you will continue to do push-ups until you learn to address me as first sergeant is that clear yes first sergeant K one for sergeant two for sergeant three for sergeant four for sergeant five for sergeant don't six for sergeant seven for sergeant eight for sergeant nine for sergeant 10 for sergeant 11 first sergeant 12 First Sergeant 13 first sergeant 14 first sergeant 123 for sergeant 124 for sergeant 125 on your feet son I bet you did a lot of push-ups when you were in basic training didn't you yes first sergeant well you just did your last push-up Soldier I will never ask you to do another thank you first sergeant you just graduated the peeling potatoes 6543 for sergeant 6,544 for sergeant oh for sergeant 6,500 five first ooh 6,1 6,5 452 first sergeant okay [ __ ] I lost count wa we got it we got it we got it lookt oh oh look hey it's the [Music] sunroof oh look gabrieli tucked in a little note in my duffel bag a yeah oh dear Bones by the time you read this I will already be what I will already be in Milan with Guido oh she dumped you sorry bones I must say though this guy sounds really nice he's got a villa right on the Adriatic Sea Jack don't rub it in no no you're better off she's a horrible speller there's only one s in loser look at that and immatures I don't even think that's a word Gabriella she she broke my heart sorry well fortunately I'm too shallow to stay bump for too long uh would you mind turn the light off please Jack oh yeah Fred you checked your your bag for scorpions right scorpions he's messing with you Fred no I'm not Chad is the Scorpion capital of the world yep fed they're big ones too but as as big as my fist they outnumber people two to one and that margin grows with every sting so have a good sleep Fred night everybody night nice to night John boy [Music] scor I got one I got one I got one I got one I got one I got one I got one I got one I got one I got one I got one I got one very funny we're just trying to help you get over your fears Fred really Fred don't worry about it you come and sleep with me yo I I would rather take my chances with the Scorpion thank you God I hate this it's not that bad it's like Camp John Jacob Jingleheimer Smith my name come on my [Music] I [Music] got don't eat the chicken and it tastes just like frog ready go who that special forces 14. 11 seconds damn try it again go easy incredible time me all right go oh that is not good what happened that is not good oh great he's coming over just just don't look at him you lose something yeah thanks put in my lasagna you better call 911 get an ambulance find a doctor order a toe tag cuz I'm going to tear off your head and spit down your neck do you understand me boy huh hey hey you have to relax a little take it easy we're in the in the middle of a war and we're on the same side yeah dude would America have won the Civil War if Benjamin Franklin did not get along with elanar Roosevelt right on a little knowledge a little knowledge to parte go ahead man if our soldiers our American soldiers acted like this in Desert Storm Sodom the would still be running Iraq so maybe we're a bunch of reservists fresh off the plane right it's obvious but you regular guys you've been here so long that your brains are fried so I guess what I'm really trying to say is come on genius sit down that doesn't mean we all can't be friends please yeah there only one problem with you newbies old tell the truth man you don't eat enough no that [Music] that's shut as you were son I bet the mess Sergeant could use a volunteer to peel potatoes yes sir can I count on you yes sir carry on I happen to know on this base there's not one unpeeled [Music] potato I I got I heard the uh libyans are already backing down and we're going to be out of here in 2 weeks yeah well I hear they're sending 20,000 more troops and we're going to be here till Christmas very wait wait wait hey wait where you going not like I got bad [Music] breath nope and until they comply with UN resolution 991 I don't think anybody's going anywhere oh you're amazing Christine how do you keep up with all that stuff Christine Christine all right quit screwing around Chris send some water with this mud [Music] Chris [Music] Jack FR how does it feel to be dead water boy I don't know how does it feel to be a dick dick damn it where's my water there was none delivered last night first sergeant godamn piece of [ __ ] newbies how am I going to run a decent HQ without my coffee that is truly a pathetic sight who perpetrated [Music] this ow who did this to you I can't tell you for sergeant what you have too much honor oh been threatened with death untie these clowns and give me some water I have an announcement do you guys want your water cuz you're looking a little bit crispy you better oh I know I know I know tell me if this is right I better call 976 find a doctor and tag an ambulance cuz you're going to tear off my toe and spit down my head right do you guys what your water or not Sergeant report to Captain Roberts you've got a mission water boys report to First Sergeant Williams you've got a mission too listen up Captain Denby says we're going to resupply the forward un peacekeeping base this is a very simple routine Mission you will fall into line in a very large very prepared Convoy all you have to do is follow the truck in front of you when your troops get thirsty you will give them water Conway you look confused are you sure you want to send us to a forward area we're just water boys You Are Soldiers you will get in that Convoy and you will be a credit to the United States Army is that clear yes then musle your L gag and bu to and move out [Music] yes [Music] damn it forget it they're going to send the tow truck man what I wouldn't do for a double meat chili cheese burger right now no a margarita on the rocks or some fresh buttery Jiffy Pop that's not popcorn boys H that comboy is under a deck really I don't think so Maniac shooting at us the maniac is the enemy what the hell are you doing surrendering don't Sho [Music] surrender nice going Christine did you have to shoot so close huh you scared the [ __ ] out of me well excuse me for living I was just trying to save your worthless little life Christine are you aware that after a near-death experience there's often a desire to have sex yeah Jack that's right I feel it all right just not with you ever got it yeah got it I'm glad we could have this little talk I don't feel anything you guys let's get out of here the truck's on [Music] fire ST Low it's going to explode where's Bon [Music] hello now Ricky take your mustering lolly gag and let's Lolly gagon out of [Music] here isn't the road that way taking the shortcut is there one mhm the road curves around like this all we got to do is cut the desert here and catch up the Convoy over there watch out come on you think I know what I'm doing here I guess this is the wrong time to tell you guys I get very easily [Music] cars Bon I don't see a road I have the best sense of direction of anyone you know the road's over there 3 miles maybe four oh yeah maybe 10 maybe 20 maybe our truck is sinking no [Music] P hey forget it okay just shut it down we'll Ki it out no stand back stand stand back I'm going to rock [Music] it you quit it it's not working you're sucking too much sand into the air filter I order you to shut it down now you order me yeah but I'm private first class okay I'm ordering you come on the only reason you made private first class because your brother's a cool man huh you happy happy yeah well I hope you brought your AAA card let's see well look you cracked the block I could have done it if you hadn't stopped me yeah you're so full of it you know what shut up we got to figure out what we're going to do and then why don't you just ask our fearless leader here private first class Bones the one with the highest rank all you had to do Jack was just listen to me okay I was trying all I've ever done is listen to you and look where it's taken me look we're in the middle of some African hell hole under a flesh frying sun with the sky filled with vultures ready to pluck out my eyeballs vultures don't come around unless something's about to die what are you are you ripping the sleeves off your jacket oh that's going to look sexy Jack tomorrow we have to walk away from this water truck we have two canteens between us we're going to fill up the sleeves of our jackets with water and then we have more water am I the only person who paid attention in survival class there a scorpion on my back there's a scorpion on my back that's enough there's not a scorpion on your back uh-uh there is a scorpion on my back FR there's nothing on your back you keep un imagining things thank you I needed that I'm sorry I snapped look you don't have to apologize you're right I see things very clear now all right look guys I want to apologize to everybody okay he's okay I feel like a brand new man all right now can we get some rest okay thank you okay what are you doing just felt like he's always playing did you guys see that thing it was what [Music] it's a truck there's the road we are safe I told you I had a Flawless sense of direction what a coincidence that truck looks that looks like our truck Hey listen you guys hey I figured out why we went in circles do you remember our map reading class we didn't follow the [Music] sun look this stream is due West all we have to do is walk away from the sun in the morning and towards the sun in the afternoon we should be there by Nightfall so you're saying we should risk being dried up into human jerky again just to follow another one of your half faked plans I'm not saying anything okay I I mean I'm pretty sure this is going to work but since I let us down before I say from here on in we put everything to a vote we can't vote you order we follow okay why order us to vote that is not how The Army Goes you have to tell us what to do what if I'm wrong then we die I order us to do a sunbake plan thing we're dead [Music] hey hey hey hey hey wait a minute it's the ocean I don't see anything what what are you blind the waves it's the ocean it's a mirage it is a mirage and there's Caesars and right across street is the barbery coast where you can get a 399 Buffet man it's the ocean come on come on let's go come on [Music] first come on [Music] here's the canteen go get your boy cuz he's [Music] bugging you okay man you okay here take a sip listen look Jack we got two choices one we could put your clothes back on we can get ourselves out of this mess go back to Glendale start up our own store become rich and famous we're too you can lie here butt naked and crushed away leaving your skull to be found by a young Arabic Prince that's going to use it for an ashtray you don't want that in your head you make the call come on let's get out of here what do you say come on here here here come on come on come on hey oh oh Jack look at that ass maybe you should stay naked get some sun on those cheeks what oh man man now I'm seeing things the palm trees right on the horizon a it's another Mirage oh my God I see it too it's not a mirage those are the palm trees it's still Oasis oh man you saved our life where's my kiss justtin the stream was due West right it was on the map right where's the water this is [Music] sand nobody move there is a big snake right by your feet no thanks for not moving Jack roow me the gun if you don't attack it it'll go away I don't want it to go away I want to have for dinner throw me the [Music] gun you want some of this baby huh there you go come on oh oh oh no I'm still going to get you die bman I'm [Music] you huh should [Music] have huh it's a win-win situation will you look at that water from the Bullet Hole water yeah water water fresh water I can't believe it is it snake yet depends how you like it well done used to be afraid of scorpions now he's eating snake that is impressive friend I thought we were all going to die but you pulled us through I don't know how but thank you that was uh pretty exceptional so what are you going to do if I I get us rescued um I will take off all your clothes tie you to the bed rub warm oil all over your body from the bottom of those feet to the top of that head and proceed to have the nastiest freakiest sex with you that you have ever imagined oh that's it damn it I saw her first and look what happens same thing that happened with Gabriella I saw her first and and and Wanda tushman in the third grade I saw her first and that girl in Palm Springs that turned out to be the guy I saw that thing first too you know why I'm not just strangling you right now cuz you can't cook a snake no because no matter how long we've been friends I never thought you'd be the kind of guy that would save our lives let alone kill a snake but you did oh hey man thanks yeah I I think it's the UN flag we're safe guys Christine and I are going to need some time alone sure [Music] man president in The Situation Room of the white house today and the president is scheduled to address the nation tomorrow at 600 p.m. Eastern Standard time we will of course bring that you are the reservers from Glendale California correct according to wnr you are presumed dead in a truck explosion um where are we you're on a military base well inside Libya that is all you need to know oh I forgot to mention the war is starting tomorrow how' you know that American TV your country is expected to start bombing our air bases tomorrow and when that happens we will unleash missiles with chemical Warheads against your bases consider yourself lucky to be here sleep well you know this is fine it's like the time you got us arrested in Tiana except for in Libya and your dad's not going to pick us up here brother yo it's you guys also [Music] American oh see I see I was wounded and I don't feel well please sing a song to comfort me sing a song any song okay resue me my team is on strategic Recon you know that's when you go Behind Enemy Lines and you try to locate their assets like tanks and bunkers we were on our way to a resupply drop and we were ambushed the other guys were killed killed I took a bullet in my leg and they brought me here uhuh I don't know [Music] words use this to dig around the base of the bars from the window I got one of them loose already to escape what are you [Music] crazy look it's the duty of every P to try and Escape we're in the middle of a desert what good is it going to do for us to escape to complete the recon mission Soldier the Special Operations cargo plane was instructed to make a supply drop at rendo point about 15K North here if we can get off this this space I can get a silon if you want you're insane okay the libyans are going to launch chemical weapons for much safer here no I'm a soldier and I got a job to do so are you now get to work priv lonely [Music] me my heart you know what you didn't scare me I just felt like screaming don't worry about it most men think I'm scary so you can't sleep I'm too excited excited they might torture us tomorrow they might even even kill us I know it's just like the Night Before Christmas yeah well at my house we got presents I'm talking talking about the anticipation we might die we we we might Escape it we don't know what's going to happen that's the coolest thing in the whole world most girls are into horses and stuff they're weird most men say that too I like it you do yeah horses are boring so if I do get us out of here and I will is it true what you said about Tim the up and all that wild sex stuff oh if you kiss me again okay get wait I think I got it wait look we're going you got got it yeah look St St you got to wake up I can't turn the alarm off it's not an alarm it's an aid siling oh thank God I thought it I was having another panic [Applause] [Music] [Applause] attack h yes almost try it again okay Crush that was good just a little more to the left we got him yeah you guys just keep trying do you guys realize what we are doing right now this is a scene from Pirates of the Caribbean all we need is that mang dog right and then you can go why just try it [Music] [Music] again how much do you love [Music] me uh I'm sorry I I don't get it what is it with us in trucks I mean we get them we break them we smash them we crash them we we run out of gas I don't get it yes yes yes yes yes I understand that but we're not getting tortured by Baba gadoo right now okay no instead we're lost in the desert again without food and water again stuck with this special forces guy he can't even walk cuz he got his leg shot up Fred we're free damn we're going to die free or maybe not 55 American dollars then on top of it see this truck serious Bonafide Libyan Army fighting machine and it's all part of this amazing offer my friend and maybe if you're lucky might even have a cool a track you could play AB stuff on it huh and you asked me how could it be why such a deal because we're crazy boys we're giving it away hm you like this watch is it interesting no no no no no no the watch come on it's got the phases of the moon and the compass what this has a compass yeah really yeah well we've been stuck in the desert for 3 days and you're telling me this watch has a compass sorry oo Jack boy you're going to get some nuggies later I'm going to just pound you like this I forgot yeah well uh about the compass well you're going to forget about your little watch here Jack because it's gone uhhuh here you go my friend hey you guys in my life I've seen a lot of camels toes but I've never seen one on a camel I think he's got a crush on new bones really how can you tell cuz he's been nibbling on your ears yeah and licking on your neck it's okay you're just a kill me our supply drops on the other side of that Libyan base what Libyan Base PA are you blind it's a Libyan base covered with a camo tint what are you talking about I guess we're going to have to go around it around what see that jeep right there mhm I see the Jeep okay but I certainly don't Oh you mean that Libyan base the one under the cam tent I thought you guys were talking about some other libian base will there be medical supplies medical supplies uniforms food food water radio everything we need yeah but where is it it's supposed to be right here hey you guys come on come on you guys come [Applause] [Music] on yeah yeah yeah [Music] F Hot Wheels oh Stern these things are intense no wonder people join the Army be all that you can be in the Army what happened to him his leg looks pretty bad I think it's infected cuz he lost a lot of blood but look at his gums they're fabulous man not a touch of gingivitis he's been flossing yeah but why is he acting so wasted oh that's a morphine absolutely the morphine the [Applause] better hello somebody answer us please you got to believe us we're stuck out here in the middle please just help me get a hold of yourself Soldier oh thank God it's you listen don't say my name what did I say to you when you first arrived in Chad uh something about your clock being broken close enough okay calm down son we're going to get you out of there now listen carefully your call sign is now Glendale our call sign is Now Burbank did you recover the fast attack Vehicles Glendale Oh you mean those doombuggies yeah those things are intense good this equipment was intended for the Special Forces team to carry out a vital Mission you are our only assets on the ground with the right equipment in the right place say what you have to take over Glendale listen let me explain something first of all Sergeant we're water boys so please your soldiers first Glendale now listen up the libyans have a mobile scud launching base right in your area these scuds are loaded with chemical weapons and targeted at us bases our aerial photographs haven't been able to find him you want us to find him well what about Stern Stern can find him he'll be up pretty soon Stern daddy Why can't I go to ballet class teacher says I'm a natural these SCS can't be spotted from the air because of heavy camouflage camouflage why didn't you say so in the first place listen we saw the thing this morning Stern wrote down the coordinates right Stern we'll tell you where it is you you guys can come here and bomb the hell out of it come on send the Air Force it's not enough to tell us you have to go back there and paint it paint it trust me it looks perfectly fine the way it is I mean paint it with the laser the laser target designator it's in your equipment all you have to do is Return To That Base point the laser at it and call me back on the radio the Air Force will do the rest you can be a mile away in perfect safety all right wait a minute Chris what get over here bones they can't make us do anything we don't we don't know how to use this stuff Fred do you use lasers in dentistry right uhuh I know what's going on you going to try to make the brother hold the laser right no my laser was a little itty bitty laser this is a big laser there's a difference Glendale Glendale no can't they just Evacuate the bases yeah or we can take an hour out of our busy lives hop in these cool Doom buggies pop the base with the laser and let the Air Force blow the hell out of it now you listen to me Glendale please hold yourself there one second I'm just trying to have a moment with my friends is that okay just have a cup of Jaba please chill Fred when you first got here you were completely freaked right yeah and now look at you huh you're a regular GI Joe a fighting man from head to toe and Chris you wanted infantry well now's your chance let's see what you got and Jack my friend you were a complete screwup but now look at you you're still a screw-up but if you did this and you survived you'd have stuff to tell your little screw-up grandkids basically you guys up to a few months ago we were all a bunch of minimum wage losers from Glendale but this whole event has changed our lives you know who we owe it to the Army this is something we got to do come on keep going with it Chris I know you're with me yeah boy Fred listen if you can't handle it I understand man I can handle it Jack what do you say man oh I say I say you're crazy I think you're all nuts but you're the the private first class I'm the private I'm going to follow you my friend wherever all right you guys let's do this thing pick it man B you ready let's go bone I know I know it's just little bit of business I have to take care of you're going to have to go now you're going to have to go be all the camel that you can be bye all right troops let's go bu some [Music] [Music] scuts [Music] all right Glendale to Burbank come in I wish we had cooler code names what was that Glendale nothing I was just saying that these code names suck can I call you General sweet pants you better remember who you're talking to Glendale are you in position guy's got no sense of humor yeah we can see the Target have you painted it with the laser just did good going Glendale the air strike is inbound it should acquire the Target in s minutes it is vital that you do not take the laser off the target until the target is destroyed can you hold it there for 7 minutes I got it propped up here on the Rock I can hold it here all day long I'm good to go no problem Burbank good lay low and Report any change in situation we'll be standing by [Music] out come on come [Applause] [Music] on tell me again about the store oh the store well it's going to be great we're going to have our own room where people can get their feet [Music] massaged [Music] Bak we're under attack Hold Your Position Glendale and keep that laser on the Target on the target we are the target tell them to hurry up you better hurry we got 60 pissed off lians heading towards us stay stay with it stay with it let's get these guys Jack come on okay you know how to do it all right this is for the Glendale water board not bad huh [Music] woo [Music] [Music] [Music] reload out it [Music] [ __ ] I missed yeah at least they didn't blow up my my head where you going soldiers we knew you can do it oh I'm going to find you the biggest bottle of champagne and Chad yeah well don't pop the court yet the bomb's missed the base wasn't hit you better send another air strike here and send it fast wait [Music] one lale the backup strike of f-111s is being diver converted to your target ETA 3 minutes 3 minutes what are you crazy we don't have 3 minutes in 3 minutes we're going to be Shish kababs we're under serious attack you'll have to hold [Applause] [Music] them oh [ __ ] oh my God you better get the planes here sooner the scuds are ready to fire 2 minutes and 30 seconds Hey Hey where's he [Music] going hey [Music] hey all right my man you stay right here I I got to [Music] go hey guys move over move over oh [ __ ] firing mechanism report the situation shut [Music] up aim set range if known or estimate who came up with these directions I don't know tell me to shut up one more time when I'm going to rip your spine out and use it for a putting iron shut up I'm not good with directions push safety and hold down okay now everybody back Fire by pushing trick suck on this at one [Music] time sorry last chance my friend [Music] yes yeah yeah oh man oh guys am my signal everybody body scream like crazy make them think we got 50 guys up here okay one and [Music] go we scared [Music] him scared yeah don't mess with the Glendale Reser it behind two weeks a year one week in a month we're the few we're the pr we're the water Bo stck get out [Music] yeah woo yeah all right St B not bad for a bunch of water boys huh no soldiers I'm proud of you guys [Music] get you ought to be damn pleased with yourselves congratulations you did an outstanding job it wasn't a job for sergeant it was an [Music] [Applause] adventure hey [Music] hey you're going to have to go get a blood test bone what you go have a good day if you need anything come see us next time look at that hair oh hey how you doing I'm real well nice Jack and Bones huh yeah you fellas going to be all you can be it's a win-win situation [Music] oh this is crazy man no it's brilliant it's just two weeks a year man one weekend a month I can't be right I swear trust me

Channel: DDF: Movie Day

Views: 732,774

Keywords: FullFreeMovies, ComedyMovie, FreeYouTubeMovies, In The Army Now, Comedy, War, Daniel Petrie Jr., Pauly Shore, Lori Petty, Andy Dick

Id: gFm94zM3lf4

Length: 87min 41sec (5261 seconds)

Published: Thu Dec 07 2023