Hi, welcome to Sorted. We're a bunch of mates in London
looking for exceptional things in the food world that
will help make our and your life that little
bit better between stitching each other up in innuendos. Now be warned, we
have two chefs, but we give them
limited air time. And we make sure
all of our ideas start with a
suggestion from you. Gooey in the middle,
baby, let me bake. Hello, everyone. I'm Mike. This is Ben. And today-- We are doing another version of
something you absolutely love, where I go shopping, buy
some pretentious ingredients, and see what we're going for. I get angry. I know you've not done
one of these before, so you don't know
how this works. What do you need to start
facing the other way, and then we will tell
you to spin around. Oh, my goodness. This, pretentious-- I know. I know. Definitely. It's a powder. Who knew? It smells fishy almost. I'm going to taste it. I'm going to lick it. It's some sort of seasoning. Wow. It's really earthy and
almost like mushroomy. It's mushroom and
meat, so it's umami. I'm the chef. I make umami. Me, me, me. Savor it like mom's-- Moms. Just like moms. Mom. Mike, you have a very,
very good tongue. I'm so sorry about him. I hate being in
this seat already. It's a little pot. Oh. Umami. A pot of umami-- I thought umami is a taste
like sweet, salty, bitter. What would you sprinkle it on? I don't know. I guess you put it
in, like, stews. Because of the
name, I'm instantly drawn towards umami burger. Also, I must appreciate it,
the fork and the chopsticks-- chopsticks for aesthetics,
forks for functionality. These things again-- why
are you doing this to me? I gave you a fork as well. I know, but obviously
I can't use the fork because people are going to
judge me for using the fork. And they're going to judge me
for using the chopsticks badly. You eat quite a lot, I feel. So would you-- do you think
you'd use it like a salt and pepper type seasoning? I wouldn't season
stuff at the table. I'm trying to season
it, as I'm picking it. I don't think I could live
with myself if I brought that to the table, and I sat there
with someone and just went-- I'm just going to sprinkle
some umami on this. Having tasted it and
having it tasted on there, I'm not sure whether it's
actually strong enough. I think I could season
that better myself. And how much do you reckon
that little pot was? Dread to think-- 4 pounds, 15. I would because I'm an idiot,
and I watched Martha chef pay 6 pounds, 50 for that. That's pretty damn close. Close. It's really close. 6 pounds, 70. 6-- 20 off, OK. Whose house do you
think would have that in their kitchen cupboard? What? This is for wannabe
hobbyist chefs. Barry Taylor. This guy. So pretentious or not? 100% pretentious. I think that's the most
pretentious thing I've seen. Oh, and we're just
getting started. It's like I'm doing
the triple jump. Right, now go with that beat and
spin around at the same time. Oh, what? These are going to
sound so pretentious, I can tell already, because
kettle chips are already a bit like, oh wow, you've
got two friends coming round. Bust out the kettle
chips and hummus. Crunch. Oh dear. I got a proper crunch. They taste fishy. I mean, they're not awful. I don't dislike them. Would you-- would you
drink some with champagne-- a few Bellinis,
some sour cream-- Oh no. And? Caviar or something? Is it caviar crisps? These are caviar crisps. These are ridiculous. I don't even really taste-- they taste a bit fishy. They don't taste of caviar. I'm not saying it's
horrible, but it tastes like a really salted
crisp with a hint of fish that doesn't taste
enough like anything for it to even warrant being
on this delicious tree trunk. How much for a bag like that? They're crisps. It can't be like 4 pounds,
3 pounds, 4 pounds? I think if you're-- if
these are even in your hand, then you're already an idiot. 5 pounds and 50 pence. You could pick up almost
two bags for that. 3 pounds, 95 a bag. So coming up to the big
question, pretentious? These are so pretentious. These are absolutely
pretentious. To me, the definition
of pretentious is something that you
do or buy in order to impress, regardless
of whether it's actually a good product. Meow, meow, meow, turn around. How was that? Oh, generic powder. Which is considered
oatless and tasteless. Good test. I feel like I'm going to be
throwing in this, aren't I? James is going to
guess his first time. It's weird. It tastes fatty. I don't know what is. I can't even tell you that
taste of anything, really. This is true collagen. Collagen
is the most abundant protein in your body and is essential
for nourishing your joints and providing your skin with
strength and elasticity. It's 100% hydrolyzed
grass-fed bovine collagen. So the great thing about this
is, because it's hydrolyzed, it will absorb into
cold liquids, as well. Oh, my gosh. OK, two to four teaspoons. I'd put four in just in case. Did it say two to
four tablespoons? Yeah, I'm looking haggard,
so I'm going four. In terms of taste and
stuff like, it's fine. I can drink it. It's delicious. You can't take-- put it
this way, four teaspoons of that has not ruined it. Whether or not it's actually
going to work, I don't know. Would you add a powder
like this into your drinks to try and make
you look younger? You know like when
you workout and stuff, and you do take
protein supplements? No. No, I'm telling you. Right. Because clearly, I don't know. It depends on which
part you work out, so do I need to workout? Like, do I need to-- Look at your skin more. It looks expensive. It looks really expensive. How much would you
pay for that, Tom? How much would I pay,
because I wouldn't. I absolutely would
not buy that ever. 10 pounds, 10, 10, 11.99. 18 pounds. 27 pounds. What! What? You are right. It looks so expensive. Oh, my goodness. That is 27 pounds. Oh! I don't know enough
about the science, but I'd never pay that. I wouldn't pay 10 for
that-- let alone, 27. Pretentious or not? And this is the
most difficult one. It looks pretentious,
and that's why I like it. I don't feel that
this is pretentious. I just feel like
this is not useful. You've got a sexy
back, yes, but I'd like to see your front, yep. Oh, it's not a powder. I know what this is. I know what this is, and
it's amazing if I'm right. Are you right? Is he right? This is tea, and you
cover it in hot water, and you make sure you
put it in a glass glass. And it literally grows as
the hot water unravels it. It, like, unravels
and grow into a thing. This is a tea flower. This is a 1,000 Year Red
Giant Flowering Tea Bulb. These are amazing. A minimum of 24 liters of
tea, already it's worth it. Whatever it is, it's worth it. Are you into your wanky teas? Yeah, I'd like a taste. Yeah. Need to brew three to five
minutes with hot water throughout the day. This is slightly unfolding now. I've already set up. It's mine. I bought it. I was going to say,
how much would you be prepared to pay for
that pot, which we counted, had nine bulbs in it. 20 pounds. 10 pounds. That is 19 pounds,
95 for that pot, which makes it 2
pound, 20 a bulb. OK. I think tea is one of the
things that is actually worth paying money for. This is so pretentious,
because I'm only buying this, so that I could show
people what it does. It's not like, you know-- But it looks like a dust
mite, at the moment. I'm going to poke it. I mean, from what I did earlier. I don't think it gets much
more exciting than that. Really? Oh, is that it. That is it, isn't it? I'm gutted about that. Now, based on the
good taste awards, what does it taste like? I don't care. It's very subtle. It's not at all
bitter, which is nice because green tea is
quite often bitter. It's actually really nice. It's quite fresh,
and it's grassy. And it's green tea, but it's
probably very good for you. I am just disappointed,
because I've seen ones that look a lot better. I don't feel like tea
pretends to be a super food. It's just sometimes green tea
is kind of given that title, but it's not pretending
to be anything. It's just saying what it is. It's quoting the benefits, but
it's just tea, and it's nice. So I don't think it's
really that pretentious. I mean, I could just go home
and put some in the bath. James, James, James,
please turn around. Well, Mike, Mike,
turn it around. I said, Mike, Mike, turn it
around and lift that cloche and see what's there. It looks like it
could be chocolate, and I'm hoping it is. Yeah, like spice--
spiced hot chocolate. You know there is
something weird in that. Oh, I can see it. It's got a gold leaf. It's like Aztec hot chocolate. Boom. What! What? You can read your own label. Read it aloud. The Aztecs? I am such a good chef. Look at that little
pretentious smile on his face. I'm so happy with myself. Gold dust, saffron,
pistachio, and cardamom-- oh, you can taste the cardamom,
and that tastes amazing. It might-- this is 23 carat
gold drinking chocolate. It doesn't really look that
appetizing with the gold in it. This saffron and the cardamom
right at the end comes very-- and it's really chocolaty, milky
obviously, warm, and delicious. But it's interesting,
at the end, you get, like, the
bit of saffron in it, and the cardamom comes
right at the end. You go, wow, that tastes
complex, and I enjoy that. Is it worth pointing how many
servings you get from that jar? 25 grams would be, like,
five servings or something. Oh, you do the math, because
it's a 140 gram portion. Does that annoy you as
much as it annoys me? What? That's just ridiculous. I hate that. Why? You'll finish it
down to the very last of what you
think is a portion, and there won't be enough. And you'll go-- I have to get more. So in your penultimate portion,
you look at it, and go, I need more of that, otherwise
that last bit's wasted. And then it's just
an endless cycle. How much would you pay for
that little tub of 23 carat gold drinking chocolate? Oh, you've been looking
forward to this bit. And that could last
a couple of months, if you just have one every
now and then as a treat, and I'd probably pay
5 pounds for that. 12 pounds, 50. 12 pounds, 50. No, no, no, no, no. I'm happy to say it is seven-- teen pounds and 95 pence. You can get nice
drinking chocolate for significantly
less than that. It's a shame because
it tastes delicious, but it is not something--
it's just not worth it, absolutely not. Is 23 karat gold drinking
chocolate pretentious or not? It's pretentious--
100% pretentious. If you liked that,
give it a like. If you want to see
more of those videos, and you want to send
Ben shopping again, give the video a like
and comment you like it. So we were on a roll
with these dad jokes. Jamie's not here at
the moment, and Ben's taking over the reins. The average Jewish man
prefers tea Hebrews himself. I don't even know. As we mentioned, Sorted is
just run by a group of friends, so if you like what
we're doing then there are loads of ways that
you can support us and get more involved. Everything you need to
know is linked below. Is it pretentious, or is it not? How much do you
think it's worth? Will that change your opinion?
