Buddy Hackett Carson Tonight Show 7/5-1986

why is it Wow when people are around you they start talking like you all your friends as soon as you're around they say your nose come on overs Buddy Hackett all of a sudden see I don't talk that way I'm talking like them is the truth that story that the guy walk into the barn he talk like it yeah well you know I don't think I won't enter the boy talk like that detect at a bar tena how it a thought it don't us bartender said seven dollars but then had a hunchback oh he says darling darling but rocket on how much got the to Mohit and water this is seven dollars each at different tension come get the bottle of beer he safai dollars he say what the director just give me a bottle of beer watching to get my bottle of beer he's just to the bartender wanna thank you for not making fun of the way I speak the bartender's I want to thank you for not mentioning my hunch he says she's done a hunch he says yeah it's it everything is so high in here I thought it with your what understand John that I had no intention of saying that but when you start telling me about hawk yeah you fringes the Internet excuse me Fred I apologize excuse me whoever's in charge of that but the things I hear on television everybody's allowed to say who's new but old guys like me who's supposed to nobody ain't allowed to say it no more you know one channel here in town plays movies now I think it's channel 5 yeah uh with the original language in the picture you know Los Angeles Kaiba made a filter like that one flew over the control of the Cuckoo's Nest I think they did patent the other night where they leave in the language because it really in certain pictures it's very vital to ities and you know patent didn't say gee whiz let's take the beachhead and in this joke it's hard to say no kid everything at Ojai in here I thought it would your haircut that's right you can't say that don't work now yeah haircut I've been feeling you looking good I feel good yeah but I does a roof oh come on uneasy well I want the other day to the lawyer and we reviewed our will that ain't a happy moment you know he's sitting there and the lawyer where there's some new laws here we think we ought to discuss well I'm thinking I guess I'm gonna be dead what I care give me a letter my touch it and he's saying would you want to be on life support system well not while we're discussing the will I don't know that's a new thing you have to ever come to a time when you have to be on life support I said no I don't want to be a no life support if I can't dance to the music I don't want even know it's playing right you want now Sheree's 11 years younger than me she said they guess she wants to talk about donating her organs that's not a bad idea yeah well I'd like to get some room no no mommy so anyway Oh shame what about she don't want to donate him to a foot like what a fool around with him you know until a research trunk she don't hurry she wants them if they're that she'll donate a you know Jewish law you're not allowed to desecrate the body you gotta return it the way it is right right but if it to do somebody good I said to Sharon in fifty years old you're gonna lever not at thirty years right nobody's gonna want 80 year old eyes you know like me suppose I donate my heart would you do that I would but if I forget to give him that bottle of pills I take every morning that guy Oh we've talked long enough now it's time to play you bet your life Noah I know you do but I got to stop here what about my eyes somebody with murine you have you locked in like my liver could go direct to edge I mean his body would never know the difference his body would not reject your live knowing okay I've got to do this commercial first I don't need to know before we do that yeah we have mr. mr. Kennedy yes I can all right here's mr. there we go folks we'll be back for more talking like any stroke unlikely ah we were talking about donating dummy organs science or to somebody actually pass away well there's some people that don't have the same organs everybody has fringing a guy goes to the doctor Manny says huh I've been talking this way all my life I want to talk like a regular person the doctor said I have your file here and having examined you the only difference between you and other people is that you have been more sexually endowed than most people in the sense that in a in some place where you should have two you have four in other words you can get a free pass the first base is what the doctor the guy says well Ruth are you the doctor so we can perform an operation and reduce you to normality and perhaps that will affect your voice so did Isis okay so after the operation a few weeks passing that the patient comes back he says doc I'm talking normally but things are not exactly where they were and I prefer to have things put back the way they were and the doctor said who - we just can't I've never heard that fine then you didn't know Irene done whatever that means she told it to me oh that's a funny story uh the only reason I hadn't heard about the musician that woke up with a terrible hangover no but I think I'm going to go ahead well he had this terrible terrible hangover and well before I tell you I ought to tell you when I can get away with okay okay so uh this guy is praying in the temple nice little Jewish man who says God please now as a lottery is legal the lottery is legal let me win the lottery I all my life pray to you I never asked for not I don't want for me but it's a boy was born with a clubfoot and you don't play good in these now ten years old the other children's different and the doctor said he could operate he'll have a slight limp you'll be able please God for that child I want to win the lottery could you help he said there's other people down the block in the air space I don't know about aerospace it's not Jewish people but that's all right doctor that's nice Christian people they're going judge they have nice children they're losing the house could I have that win the lottery I'll pay them to mortgage whatever will be left I'll give to a charity comes back the next week to the temple god I'd have won the body I was here last week and the voices sir so who's that it is I the lord god she's did a expert too much he said no but when you ask to win the lottery you have to do your share what you have to buy a ticket so this guy wakes up with a terrible hangover music this is my crowd they don't want that but like first what I gotta do this everyone I get hot you have to show some I John I need this to make a living I sold my car I think I had a few paintings I had a cell just to get by for bread Modigliani uh we got time for one more yeah look I go and come back all right first you mean but if we can lift it if I can lift that I could even balancing up ed get it hey guys one thing here okay we are back my friend Evan then I'll bring Elliot no I don't think okay okay I really can't tell you any more stories cuz there's a beautiful girl waiting to come out and I don't I don't want to know it's not fair she's young she has a whole establishment to make and it's her time and it's my time to move over and come back and tell you the story next time isn't that sweet yeah Russia she is

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Views: 417,127

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Id: bNPzsG3yDPo

Length: 10min 57sec (657 seconds)

Published: Fri Feb 19 2016