Brad Williams Daddy Issues • Part 4 | LOLflix

I'll make everything better stressful situations I make better my people make boring situations better help my people even make porno better you're a freak right there you're free I like you though I like you right now look at all the people that laughed when I said make poor and better because those people have seen a [ __ ] porn they know the magic that is [ __ ] porn if you have not seen a [ __ ] porn before what the [ __ ] are you still doing here right now go home to your computer - www.and enjoy that [ __ ] okay it's awesome it's amazing and I don't judge I don't judge you if you watch porn if you watch [ __ ] porn because in my opinion your porn should be a little weird it should be a little freaky it should be a little freaky legal it should be legal I don't want you guys getting busted be like the torques and it was okay but it should be a little weird because porn yeah porn is an escape from real life you don't want to see real life in your porn you don't want to see that you don't want to see what sex actually is in your porno reality sex that's two people banging as quietly as they can cuz their four-year-old is sleeping in the bedroom next to theirs I'm not getting off - you're gonna wake the baby No porn is not about what you can do porn is about what you can't do what you want to do what you've always fantasized about doing like I would love to watch a porno of two people just reaching [ __ ] [Applause] get it [Music] but people assume on watch [ __ ] porn and I don't I'll be honest with you I don't I don't judge you if you do but why would i watch [ __ ] porn my life is a [ __ ] porn if I want to see a [ __ ] porn I would bang a girl next to a mirror look left to go alright that's not what I watch oh we're all friends I'll tell what I like to watch right I'll tell you this is honest too I like to watch black dudes have sex with Asian women that's my family why do I feel like you're all judging me right now really you're gonna judge me about what I like to watch like your holier-than-thou like if I go through all your browser histories all I'm gonna find is missionary with eye contact are you hating me no I like to watch black dudes have sex with Asian women because for once in my life when a dick goes in a vagina I would like to hear how I don't hear that I don't hear that I put my stuff and it's like yeah you're supposed to be afraid of it and would it kill you ladies would it kill you to just fake it I'm not talking about the orgasm no I already know you faked the orgasm no talking about faking your level of [ __ ] respect yes [ __ ] respect ladies you have to understand something when your man takes his penis out for you for the very first time it's an emotional moment it is we don't know what you're gonna say we don't know how you're gonna react we don't know how we measure up to the ghost of penis pass that you've had in your life we don't know we're gonna say something when you see it like is that it like how [ __ ] up is that is that it like any man's ever heard that and said actually no I have more dick lucky for you I always carry some spare dick with me just give us a little encouragement a little attaboy does not to be crazy doesn't it be insane you don't have to win an Academy Award you'll have to see it be like oh I have never seen a penis of such magnitude you don't have to quote your favorite movie line like release the Kraken this is all you have to do all you have to do the first time your man takes his penis out for you just look at my face I'm gonna show you what to do okay is all you do see you man's dick is we do oh that's it that's why you got it right there did you miss it I'll do it again here you go if you do that your man's gonna be like yeah she's afraid of this day and then we'll [ __ ] you man we will I know always say that and there's some women the audience like Brad why should I do that for my man my man would never do anything like that for me ha ha ha Oh contraire we already do something like that for you ladies we do we're just really good at it and you don't know we do it see look at all the women right now looking at me like what the [ __ ] do you do [ __ ] do you do don't worry I'll tell you okay what we do ladies do you think every titty is perfect no they're not but guess what you'll never know you'll never know cuz no man is ever gonna do that to you no man cuz we are we are always ecstatic when we see the titties we are thrilled and we see the titties we see the titties you know there's a damn good chance and we're having sex right after that so we are gonna say absolutely nothing to [ __ ] that situation up okay nothing no man has ever taken off a woman's bra just weird nope that's never happened ever and ladies there are some [ __ ] up titties out there there's the [ __ ] up titties so many women get boob jobs you get like a lazy nipple like points off in that direction so like one titty is really into sex the other ones like hey what's on TV over there so many women have one perfect wonderful spectacular titty then the other ones like a little down sit them too just like that if that's the case your man doesn't care we'll have fun with the nicety then we'll have fun with a Down syndrome titty we don't give a [ __ ] we'll even talk to it in its own language I say that and there while you were laughing there's some women they're just like Brad I get that those are jokes but I'm serious Brad men do not like my titties they don't like my titties Brad cuz I have very small titties I am the president of the itty bitty titty committee and men don't like that they don't like the small titties Bret ladies is that you are you in the audience right now concerned with a low self esteem over the size of your small titties ladies if that's you I have one piece of advice for you and this will work have sex with me I will make you feel awesome about your small titties cuz I have small hands I make everything look bigger I like this a lot you're gonna go home tonight and have sex after the show great all right I want you to by yourself that's fine that's fine not judging that's fine but I want you guys to have great sex and ladies just understand that your man is freaky okay whatever you think about your man your man is freaky however freaky you think your man is add to Jared from Subway Stu that okay we want to do some crazy [ __ ] I know a lot of women they're like oh no Brad not my man especially your man oh my god I'm not worried about the guy that's open with what he like sexually I'm not worried about the guy that's like yeah I like some bondage I like a little BDSM little bbw and racial I like that stuff I'm not worried about that guy I'm worried about the guy that's like I like nothing unusual when it comes to things of a sexual nature that guy has a van and a basement do not trust him a man is not freaky fine test it test it ladies next time you're having sex your man it's gonna end right and you know what time that is right you know when the guy gets a little hitch in the giddyup right like he's all good for a while like that and you know once you see once you see that you're like t-minus 10 seconds so blast-off like you know that when that happens your man will say something to you at some point he'll look at you be like baby where do you want me to come now there is a thousand answers to this question but there's only one answer you should never say under any circumstances ladies if your man says that you should never ever ever look your man be like anywhere you want to never say that [ __ ] ever now I know a lot of you women you hear that you're like what if I say anywhere he's gonna come into faith because that's what he sees in the pornos it's stupid I don't know why all you men want to turn your women into glazed doughnuts it's done yeah we do want to do that but you didn't say her foods you said anywhere and you say anywhere the devil comes up in the back of our heads we're like she said anyway in the angel pops up and says okay so maybe just like on her tits maybes on her tits that's some place nice she can block it she could like put it together so it's easy cleanup like you could do that right there it's fun it's nice it's easy just on the tits she said okay maybe on the small of her back they write down a small verb a clock like I said before easy cleanup small tattoo right there for target practice it's a pretty nice spot all right and we'll check with you we will check with you we'll always look at you like baby did you say anywhere if you look at us be like yeah anywhere you want where's your sister what your sisters stomach constitutes anywhere why we're freaks we're freaks but we hold it in I want you to know that we hold in the freak that's how much we love you that's how much we love you and we hold in that freak every night do you know how hard it is to do that do you realize that every time your man has sex you doggystyle we're just looking down and we want to put a finger in that butt okay we want to how do we not it's been weakened at us the entire time we look down and see that we go right back to preschool like round peg round hole tonight you have my permission do that move fellas do that move hell yeah it's a great move Power Move let's go know who's back here man's back here right there that's good now a lot of women hate me right now but don't worry ladies if your men does that's you you can get a little fringe you can get the revenge yeah except you're down there like oh you thought that was funny like that and just do that right there right now a lot of men are looking at their women you will not do that to me later on tonight why not it doesn't feel good you're lying it feels amazing okay obviously never tried it now don't get me wrong ladies a lot of that depends on you if it feels good or not it depends on you it's not gonna feel good if you're too aggressive with it you know it's not gonna feel good if you're just like coming in hot like that's gonna feel do it if you act like you just dropped your engagement ring down the dispose or like where is that thing okay like don't do that or do that here's how it feels good just ladies pretend like you're playing a game of Jenga yes Jenga at our game right you can't knock the towel over you got to be sensitive he's got to be very carefully gonna be like I [Music] right now a couple of guys would you be trying to help me later you could try that and there will still be the guys the homophobic guys are like no Brad no you put a feel your buck that makes you get that mixture okay really do you really think that you think something just make you gay is that it no we're just make you gay like there's every bit of situation where a man having sex the woman like a man Percy and the hills are aligned [Applause]

Channel: laugh out loud flix

Views: 1,689,495

Keywords: lol, Comedy, stand up comedy, Laugh Out Loud, LOL Network, Netflix Is A Joke, YouTube Recommended, Recommended For You

Id: 8VvPY-qbmgA

Length: 14min 24sec (864 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 10 2020