Billy Connolly Tells Just About the Funniest Story Ever

one of the actresses brought a fart machine it's a sort of a glass with it looks like putty in it oh yeah I got one of those shove your fingers it's fantastically funny yeah and one of the actresses was complaining because we were smoking cigars in her dressing room you know Oliver Platt and everybody were all blown away and the smoke was construed a ventilator and Zillah sword actress was complaining until we went in with a fountain machine and all he stuck his bum in her dorm and [ __ ] greenu laughter and thereafter we could smoke and you know Steve Buscemi he looks like a serial killer oh yeah people avoid him in the street like he's gonna kidnap the children you know he's get out look he's actually a screamingly funny man but we're all trying to do the best for us you know and I was trying to do those walking ones they're tough they're very very oh yeah you got to be kidding you got any good you got to be careful the wee ones the deal and I could never get it right but he was doing the splits and midair ah run normally the director would see I forgot ray okay it was funny the first time lines let's get back to what let's remember why we're here box but no it's kind of do cheese go machine of his or joyful experience did you ever light him the body who was brilliant I've tried by I can't do like I can't fart just at will I would love to be able to do that and I can't raise one eyebrow two things I'd love to be able to do all the things we wish was just think how they should be to do boss flying under the air but I can do buddy no I can't well you know I read a story the other day the viewers sent me a story about a lady who was in a restaurant waiting for her date to arrive and all of a sudden just without warning she let one go and she was very the entire restaurant herded and she said to the waiter stop that he's his lady which way is it heading but you know I supposed to be true then at the coronation ha ha ha on the Quinten beside the king of Tonga Tonga yeah that's right and the horse farted one of those carriages and the Queen mother says to the king of Tonga I'm sorry and he said oh I thought it was the [ __ ] okay time time tough now let's remember what people think the child is the more childish jokes the funniest Vogon choice are melt and then you bit stuff like that all right now let's not forget why we're here let's not why are we I don't know

Channel: myourek

Views: 5,168,378

Rating: 4.7638898 out of 5

Keywords: billy, connolly, funny, funniest, story, big, biggest, laugh, fart, flatulence, tom, snyder, hugely unclassy, hugely, unclassy, grossly, sophomoric, grossly sophomoric

Id: vHfllwAUdIM

Length: 3min 14sec (194 seconds)

Published: Mon Feb 18 2013

Reddit Comments

[u/DrunkenJarJar]

The laugh off camera makes it!

[u/prstele01]

I would listen to Billy all day.

[u/moistkeef]

Connolly has a talent for mouth produced fart noises. The array and complexity is amazing.

[u/VerlorenFormaat]

Fart jokes are the best jokes.

[u/Infidus_Imperator]

Cracked a smile the whole way through. The Queen's mother anecdote make me snort my beer :p haha I love Billy.

[u/BossHuskar]

I hate to be that guy but I didn't really find this funny. Also the laughs felt quite forced to me.

[u/KixStar]

Not THAT funny, but I love Billy Connolly. I wish he was my grandpa.

[u/[deleted]]

I am almost certain this type of story has been told since the dawn of humanity. Not only that, it is still funny in any culture around the world today.

Plus this guy is an exceptional story teller.

[u/EquationTAKEN]

That last bit, "I thought it was the horse". I immediately thought "I thought it was the whores".

No rest for a dirty mind... and the queen.