Billy Connolly's Craziest Drunkest Story | CONAN on TBS

we just had the winter olympics you are one of the most famous scotsman in the world i didn't see a lot of scots in the olympics i didn't i didn't see i watched and that's one thing i was thinking about today pretty much everyone represented am i right about that no no the british team had four scottish guys the curling team the curl oh the curl i didn't watch the curls the best sport in the world the best sport in the world best sport in the world really at last housework has become olympic they took a common chore and they made it we're going to do it with vacuum cleaners and they change their mind it's extraordinary but the trouble with it is that they've given it to young people and they're all wearing spandex and nylon and all that curling is supposed to be played by drunk people wearing tweed yes it looks like that kind of hats woolly hats and you should have had a few pints and then you should go out a lot of drunk people on the ice i went to a meeting a gathering called a bonspiel in 1979 with 700 curlers on a lake yeah it was bedlam the noise was unbelievable so i hadn't marked out the lanes or anything they just people getting knocked over like nine pins so they hadn't actually there was no real you couldn't even possibly play in those conditions absolutely people singing and getting drunk it was wonderful that's what you think the olympics should be it's called a sport it's a sport now how come they can have winter olympics without a snowball fight you think that's how it should end the building of a snowman it's good sports they should make it more fun like that absolutely it should take the piss out of it a little bit delusion the luge doubles was very interesting did you like that yeah people lying and talking each other you like that huh yeah you can't lift your head because you slow down it's good what are you doing dude it's a change in my pocket yeah right [Laughter] now uh speaking of drinking you've been sober for a while now what years how many years 30. 30 years you've been sober what is it and what's in hell what is it that caused you what was the event that caused you from not being too personal to stop drinking well there were many reasons but the main one was that dawned on me that alcohol doesn't make you clever one night i was drinking with a friend of mine peter mcdougall a writer and i left his house blitzed and i went to phone home to my wife and i get into one of those british telephone boxes you know those red ones yeah and i made my phone then i realized i couldn't get out [Laughter] you were you couldn't you didn't you couldn't figure out i couldn't figure it out you know there was nothing wrong with the box the door was working fine i mean the telephone's on one of the walls that cuts it down to three [Music] and it's hardly hampton court maze so what did you do i phoned my manager yeah and i ran out of money and hey steve i'm stuck with our years and he found me he just went he went and looked at every phone booth he could find unless i was on a street called he went to all my usual haunts and he phoned me and he just opened the door for you smelling of urine i hadn't peed but a lot of people pee in those boxes oh it wasn't even your urine oh that's the worst nothing worse than smelling of someone else you

Channel: Team Coco

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Id: bFDmjD3mQak

Length: 4min 0sec (240 seconds)

Published: Fri Nov 13 2020