Bill Maher - Is Being Politically Incorrect - 4.2/6 Visits In Chronological Order [240-720p]

[Music] so what's driving you crazy now which was ripping your nuttin you know I mean I mean the whole country is becoming a theocracy there's one thing it's that's dangerous it's tabloid stuff you know the fact that people don't follow what's important the fact that people follow you know all they care about is the Michael Jackson trial that's and I have to say I watch it every night also on the I watch the reenactment every single night I find it I find it fascinating and I find it telling it it did it speaks about so many things that are wrong with this country mmm Willie the least of which is Michael Jackson you don't think Michael Jackson is now I do know you did I mean I first of all I think he's gonna get off I think he gets off regularly but yeah no but I went to I was sort of defended him Jane I used to have this argument because he would do a lot of Michael Jackson jokes and I would say you know J I did I would Jay Simpson jokes because I knew he killed his wife I don't know if Michael Jackson is you know right right little boys but evering watch the trial now I think it's much more likely but I also think that there is no perspective people have no perspective especially about crime you know Selah zero-tolerance of course nobody ever wants to see a child you know diddled that's just plain wrong but even the people who are testifying against him they're saying that he serviced them they didn't service him hmm you don't I get a distill you vote no no I I said on it makes me crazy that's mine that's Michael Jackson aye it drives me I the idea of someone touching my kid right I would go I've nearly swollen I agree very wrong but you know I remember when I was a kid I was savagely beaten once by bullies in the schoolyard savagely beat if I determine being savagely beaten and being gently masturbated by a pop star it's just me the office question is to Bill Maher everyone uber a bike ride Belmar everybody [Applause] Bueller laughs well welcome welcome how lovely to see you hey I got high with the best not going to be very area dodge if you go high with a bad here you aren't very high they think you meet the bond of this show it's time to go to hospital you don't really want to bend you don't want guests you just are so happy right here it's just you and them really you should know like you really want me here well you don't want a relationship forced me out of this no no I don't want you here I love you I love you Belle I going you're sure you come in my show it's like with the Monkees she's live in the same house with a fire line living in Toledo no no monkey no monkeys here we go down the street that's my point he doesn't need me here he just really wants to talk to me about the election bill what's going on any surprise Oh mr. entertainment you can show it come on well it's not till tomorrow I mean the big surprise would be if Barack Obama and Joe Biden cannot somehow beat a 200 year old man and the spokeswoman from the car show that would be a giant surprise you'd be very very very fun you've been very tough on Sarah Palin I I don't as I see oh no no she must see slightly come he is a category-5 she's people should be tough on her why shouldn't we be tough on her because she's a woman I thought we were always had an attractive woman that's the thing you know you live your way I love my way all right European values I'm married but now I'm votin in fact I voted already who'd you vote for I'm not telling you right all right you voted for Obama you're not a crazy person but but you you hit it on you hit on it in your little sketch there with the what I don't think you can say mention I'm serious I think employ hey Greg I can I'm on HBO all right we say all right all right I'm saying again what do you call them here on regular TV Holly Holly the suspect all of them but the reason why all these crazy right-wingers love her is because they're hot for her McCain wants to do stuff come on I'm telling you the surge is working in his pants ah my wife a better anonymous bank will abide when I tell jokes we have to stop but when you do it okay yeah I know you're right yeah I don't want to go alright alright fair enough carry on then go on trash an American Hero why don't who's an American Hero Sarah Palin oh no no John McCain well he's certainly very brave yes I would agree with that he did heroic work for his country he also crashed three planes and they don't talk about a lot of the stuff with John McCain because you know it's like well he was appealed up and he was you know and and we do honor that but you know it has nothing to do with whether he could be a good president you know if getting roughed up is the criteria that I'm going to vote for a Tina Turner oh now I'm making a perfect oath all they are being back down there hey Bob this Shira peelings husband being a part of this is he part of this group this absolutely really lasts yes it's amazing to me that the media didn't make more of this issue during the campaign absolutely I thought it was yeah it's so interesting that their whole campaign was calling Obama every every bad name in the book he's a terrorist pals around with terrorists you know they should pal around with economists anyway but okay pals around with terrorists he's a socialist he's a communist he's an Arab he's an anti-semite he's an anti-american and of course the worst he's a celebrity yeah that's what the worst thing they event about it was that he popular he fill stadiums yeah well the Republicans can fill stadiums like the Superdome during Katrina hey [Applause] why your old Microsoft weapons disapproval service has to be disapproving a two-year I'm the sort of grumpy old grandpa that get you know hey my long maybe you did vote for McCain well maybe but what was the question oh yeah she's right I am that they could call all these name to call Obama all these names and yet nobody called them out on something that actually is treasonous yes Todd Palin was a member of the Alaska Independence Party in the 90s and partly into this century Sarah Palin has spoken to the Alaskan Independence what he said you're doing good work I support you the head of the party the person who founded a guy named Joe Vogler Joe the has said things like hey I will never be buried under your damn flag he said he hates the American government I mean this is really treasonous stuff sadly you think about these people if it weren't for us they'd be Canadians it's all the ties between us Greg I agree there we are definitely building the wall on the wrong border I'm stop it he doesn't mean that Canadian viewer I have a viewer in Canada right I'd like to keep on giving up to Canada lovely of them you said I'm going to move with McCain you said well you know I never said that I said every week on the show I would never move but we have presented options for people who do want to move that's what I meant Canada is Canada one of them well no I'm not moving but identically it one else we're moving well can it is a great country I do anything like a big blue state you know it's a it's like everything we have in America but without all that right-wing nonsense you know the you knows another country then yeah no I mean this Scott Scotland like them we're not talking about time right you know go and get a talk show habit - yeah no you don't want to talk - it's good you have to win by fighting but they're they're not you know at least half of this country is just is just dumb ass ignorant and they don't have that in Canada like 20 there was a poll last week 23 percent of Texans this is a week before the election believe Obama is a Muslim Wow and that's just stubbornly ignorant and you know McCain on Palin when they're under stump they're always saying who is Barack Obama well if you don't know by now if you can't get that through your thick skull it's really not his fault you know it used to be okay to not know anything in America maybe you went to high school here or you're a Baptist but uh but now information is everywhere there's the internet and the Google yeah you got all rights get all the information at a fabulous entertainment that's come we have to take a break I want to talk to you more about that we'll be right back we're in my Belvoir [Applause] [Music] we like it wasn't bad welcome back I'm here where's our Bell mark Musa your documentary Religulous that is pronounced currently children ousted correctly that is this documentary anti religion no well started but it's not mean you know I think one of the reasons it's done well and people like is like a hundred million dollars okay that's like a regular movie but right but it has among documentaries it's already seventh on the all-time list of every documentary they ever made good so it has done well yeah and I think people people were expecting it to be mean spirited and they found that it is not because I'm not trying to be mean spurted I'm not trying to put my finger in people's face and saying you're stupid what I'm saying is I'm asking questions that people never ask in this country because usually this topic of religion and faith you say the word faith case closed conversation and you know that's my faith and what I'm saying is I'm just going to ask you questions like why is faith good why is saying you're going to suspend critical thinking a good thing especially when you're a senator I'm thinking about I think it's a fair question I think faith is good because it combats fear of the unknown I think that's what is useful for but if you're doing it by making up stories and cleaving to stories that were made up by men in the Bronze Age run and they didn't know where the Sun went at night and you know what makes babies I know stuff George Bush still doesn't know then it starts then it starts to affect policy you know Sarah black well there's an interesting thing the the marriage of religion and politics in America which is actually I I studied the Constitution a little bit before I became a no unit here talked about it was said you know it's not against the Constitution that religion in politics forbidden yes we call it separation of church and state you and I was wondering ever if but it is that your motive of making the documentary is not really about religion it's really about politics so that's certainly part of it I think even people who are religious and wouldn't agree with my central thesis that maybe we shouldn't you know believe in the invisible space god I think they would agree that we've had it up to here with having religion shoved down our throats by political people well that's for sure I think they hide behind it I think a lot of people are scoundrels hide behind religion I wonder though do you believe in God uh I don't not a look I don't say I'm an atheist because that to me is mirrors the kind of certitude yeah it's that when the people have I say I don't know this is what we say in the movie is I don't know and anyone who tells me that they know for sure what happens in the next world and of course the people who talk about the next world they're more sure of that than what happens on earth which is ridiculous you know we don't know what goes on in this world we get all this stuff dead wrong right no I know it is kind of war and yet they know about the next world in such certitude and with such detail you know that when you get to heaven you'll meet Jesus he's at the right hand of the Father he's wearing a white robe it has gold piping on the sleeve there's a chorus of angels three of them are playing trumpet well do you know this it seems play but what about with running religions could you look a lot of different religions in the movie but whether any of the religions you looked at you went actually you know I can see a way in there for me no no no no I mean no I mean they're all crazy they're all completely insane the new ones are actually funnier because you know like Mormonism and Scientology right which I think they should combine and make more mythology they're even funnier because you know they're only like a hundred hundred and fifty years old you know by the time they got to the trough most of the good crazy was trying to take so like the Mormons had to I mean you ever studied what the Mormons I've read a little bit under the banner of heaven the John Krakauer book if you read that I have not that's it's a very interesting study of early only Mormon I mean they believe in magic underwear yes yes that's right protective undergarments how many are wearing magic underwear today well good because if that gets up in the audience you're going to leave I'm just kidding what I can say I know I'm very magic underwear because I can drive myself like a dog using my magic underwear oh now I'm now I'm going to pretend I'm offended that you're that hold our right what I'm about to say I know I never be offended I'm not talking to you anymore I'll talk to the bed my first guest is a great big star and he's got a documentary Religulous which is out on DVD today does it show Real Time with Bill Maher begins a seventh season that's ready on HBO at 10:00 p.m. please welcome the wonderful Bill Maher everybody [Applause] [Music] well you'll really like to get close up to the camera though I do yeah it's the only way I could battle the completely crappy lighting we have in this video that was the whole idea behind the spot but I mean I've heard that phrase make love to the camera but you like no one else I've ever seen really do you have a girlfriend but only my wife someone you could bone on a regular basis because you just seem to really want to get in that camera I do I slap it like it's a naughty girl okay you can go to what you can get away with that with that Scottish accent yeah I know yes very all the people who could not see it when it was out because it wouldn't play in your town because you live in America well it got you from seeing it now you could actually buy it at Walmart right and you can pick up a weed whacker while you're getting and speaking of weed whacker again the camera you see no stop it now I don't I don't make love to the camera I think love to a lady yo you do you have a regular yeah I'm a wait I'm married you haven't oh I've thought about well you that's because I've thought it Oh surely don't be so no no no I would never look people think I'm against March I'm not against marriage there are some people I know who love marriage they're called women what you know why this is so great because we just had Valentine's Day and Valentine's Day is about love and religion is not real but love is wow that's the most shameless plug I've ever seen pretty cynicism hey guys you got near the camera was there the the I've seen the movie are you are you have a goal organized religion you you really have a goal to be fair I ever go yeah you have a go yeah no like me with a camera and I I know it's not easy for me to make an argument for organized religion but I'm going to I feel it's my job really yeah Phil you what do you think you're up to nagano well if only all of America was as half-hearted issue object but a human billions fanaticism though we don't really against religion and I disagree strongly and I'm the guy who made the movie I really should of course it all of religion is fanaticism well that's a fanatical thing just know it is not yes it is no you know that's the art that's one of the critiques we got is that you're only you know trying to pick on the extremists excuse me but if you believe in a talking snake if you believe you're drinking the blood of a 2000 year old God on Sunday you are an extremist you're extremely irrational you think that well what do you mean not anybody but religious people do that's what religious people think the Hindus doing Hindus do believe that they believe their I'm crazy good night Oh like Iran and India yes they've outsourced the entire show I'm the biggest show in Mumbai I got it I got to make a call Dage really you're on an indeed I don't know but do you tube everybody going everywhere now yeah that's true yeah do you ever Google yourself I told you Craig I'm not married I don't have to could you believe in hope though I do I believe in love don't like Mary you don't like village it was the one thing have to do with the others you started it yes I do believe in love what but what what is marriage that is a state sanctified thing I know that is saying you know this only if you're no gay no right right exactly that is you know and I don't why would i if I wasn't love invite the state the government into my private life why would you do that tax rebate [Applause] [Music] [Applause] I've lots of other romantic reasons right and you count those pennies when the state gets into a divorce I've been divorced too right how'd that go ha ha ha you've never been divorced now wait no I never been married for how could I have been Devorah talented guy you'd figure me out no I'm very proud I never got my toe caught in the trap but but I swear to God the last time I was here you were single yeah well I was I just got married Wow yeah so you met someone no the wedding for congratulations oh very much again how long have you been a citizen uh just over a year now right and when did this country fall into economic disrepair I did actually no you really jumped on a sinking ship didn't here my friend I don't have a talking Rock if I had a talking rat on my ass [Applause] [Music] how does the real time show go and that's a fantastic show that you really stick it to all the folks that was about it half a caesura thank God religious so I've been on the show I like this is very good thank you so much yes we're starting our new season so on the news east gainfully employed in a few days on Friday nights oh I'm sorry President Obama I can't beyour Commerce Secretary yeah have you done your taxes yeah well because there's a lot of people in the Obama cabinet I haven't I don't think he has ever met anyone who did do is to I know it's looking bad right now yeah not on a hot streak with the vetting how many times are going to be with the Obama presidency for you because you were sticking it to Bush pretty tough I mean Obama well I mean you ready agree you agree or don't agree he's just started you know but yeah I think you're skirting around the question everybody asked is how can you make jokes you know Bush was so easy are you having trouble making jokes about Obama I do fart jokes Pope and listen he may be wonderful but the man farms and when he does I'll be there [Applause] how long is this show go water that's commercial obviously here until you but thing you believe in love well I do believe in love do you that's why didn't connect all weekend here before right now sorry you want to have commercials and makeup sex because that really is like Mary's day like I took mushrooms in the desert how long have we been out here when you learn enough but it's always nice that you come to see it early it's one segment you nursed it all into one yeah yeah well you wanted to break no you foreigners do it the way you want no I'm an American American we don't all sound the same in America both you as a liberal gentleman would know that we never really got to the economy no we never got to the economy and I just as well because it's entertainment it isn't so bad bank robbers are not even robbing banks there's no money in it are they before I get back please welcome Bill Maher everybody [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] hey Bill what's up bill want me to clean that up give me someone we'll get to in a while I'll clean out up later I actually clean up my studio when I'm done you look drunk look at your tongue look drunk cuz I've been a cool I actually haven't had a drink in 20 years by I appear to be drunk that's why you're so irritable I am variable you drink a lot don't you I don't drink a lot anymore I used to drink a lot really what happened I got old yeah I mean yeah I mean that's a lot of it is that you just can't you know your body can't take it but I mean I was never a drunk I was a heavy drinker there is a big difference there is that's the truth but you know I miss it like a dead friend I really yeah I mean it changes your whole life when you can't drink yeah well if you change your whole life when you can't drink you're drunk you're a drunk if you drink in the day oh really you're drunk if it's you know if you can't stop drinking it affects your life it affects your relationships yeah none of that I'm good time after work I used to be in the studio right across I remember yeah I used to say there's old drunk Belko I don't know won't even hear that you were still in is I was a guest on your show many but our political II incorrect I remember yak we love it well you used to make good stuff here yeah we used you you did yeah I liked it them why are you doing your comedy specials on Yahoo yeah it's streaming it's streaming does that mean you can cut smoke uh well I could go anywhere I see you cuz here yeah but it never makes it to the air well I mean normally on HBO we can cut there anytime you can yeah cuz a lotta but but no I wanted to do something different I you know I mean this is a different age at the age of the internet Craig yes it is and chatroulette that's the one yeah usually I likely never known it well I certainly know what it is rates like you do you just turn up naked and get your photograph taken and then talk to people right Sorna this conversation is getting a little awkward Robin that's kind of my thing though I know that I know it anyway I really I really don't know about it well it's let me put it this way right if someone tuned in to chat roulette and saw Mitt Romney masturbating they would go gosh I wonder who else is masturbating right now [Music] so you think people get teeth as quickly I'm saying people don't like Mitt run they're always we're always looking for some batons I found a way to make up you mean it is politics dunya alright well I sit you must be having a nice time man with the Republicans old baton and snapping to each other right now thank you for that generic opening coworker your money to prom right i eating done II know I know that's very nice of you but I know you're not really interested in politics not so much I think I'm gonna honestly I'm every time I talk to any politician at all not just American by the way any politician anyone to world them like you I did there so I mean I want to shoe business for a long time but these people are genuinely sleazy penance enemies in general do you mean not all of them I don't I mean I don't I don't I honestly don't think the president is sleazy I may need a ringing endorsement throw that's my number ma'am so I don't know I'm talking about politicians like man I'm not talking about every politician but every time I meet one of how would it change if you invent him you think he would have made a grab for you that might get my vote mister no I don't know I just I kind of don't really interested in get and then you love that battle enough fight all the time I don't like all that I don't know if like growing up I'm done so I don't want any more arguments I'm like assembly's fine but it does affect people's lives I mean like we said we've had a big argument in this country lately about whether women should be able to get birth control from their employer right what do you think about that you must have an opinion oh no I have a private opinion but this is a TV show where I'm having this talk to a drunks Kalyn know everything has to be Bob with the babies all right you know I don't feel the need to have everyone know what I'm thinking about everything except drunk skeletons and you know which is I know you feel that way which is odd when I'm here and then you ask me a question because I know you hate the answer you don't know you have an accident yes what was the question I can't remember well you having a nice high equipment we might as well be still drinking the amount that we can keep a conversation going it's so fine no we might as well no I think we are professionals though I mean basically we've talked about nothing for quite a little time yeah that's the great thing about coming on your show I burn no material I think I'm a rating in Georgia we have [Applause] [Applause] goodbye govern a omnium with no mark please ignore these papers on the floor there for no reason whatsoever yeah thanks for getting a show of them though I dropped some papers before Belgium oh he said what are these papers I was like ever mine I don't like Sun totem then I offered to clean the montage over that's fine I'll get to them later because it doesn't match that's what thing is isn't much what doesn't match the thing you did that bit and now you're taking it out I think I'm taking up the show because you are spoiling ah interesting that's why but the papers are on the floor if the papers only made sense because you did the bit now you're cutting the bit but the papers are still on the floor yeah and the kind of crazy I got I got up there running I'm alright I you know I admit I'm a little anal which brings us back to Rick Santorum are all right on you go I don't know much about Rick Santorum really I know that you some very very very - hugely conservative right oh my god this guy thinks about gay sex more than Richard Simmons yeah make me be bad yeah I know yeah I don't think anyone could think about gays like more you would know but I'm not gonna argue that point but yeah but yes he's probably the most conservative Canada we've ever had in guys he's not a real contender is he absolutely he's the front-runner right now yeah I know but it wasn't it was the guy that was having sex with all these women he was a front-runner for a while and then a Bachman with a witch's hat she was the frontrunner for a while and it's not real it's just made up no no now it's getting real now they're down to the last three see there was yesterday there at one point it was like nine in the in the race right and then they all kept dropping off you know Bachmann dropped out Kane dropped out dropped out Perry drugged but that's my favorite part of the campaign is when they started killing them off like the repulsive teenagers in a slasher movie right but now they're down to the final four so these are the hot teenagers that are laughs that wouldn't have all fine I wouldn't exactly call it that but but yeah these are the people whom I mean there's Newt Gingrich you're right of him yeah he's been on the show last politician I had on the show in you Newt Gingrich was here yeah so you're responsible for this again I'm really sorry and what was he like cuz I told you what I said but you can't judge you cannot judge all politicians by the biggest fattest turd from the ninety by the way conservative websites he said that know me I have no problem insulting conservative now I know that I know but I mean the other Paula I don't like them either especially on the Republican side but I mean Newt Gingrich's is a is a Batman villain I mean he and I don't mean like from the new Batman I mean like from the old Adam TV but talking about a fat over the hill character actor up with two henchmen in dogs in a warehouse it's that man I mean mistress attic so you know you're not thinking he's real though is he real he's a real person I know that is that right if I mean he's a real was like I'm gonna go back thank ya real is he a real content well you know he was and hit now he's dropped out again but the thing is Super Tuesday is coming up that's when a lot of states a lot of the southern states vote a lot of what I call the car on the lawn States vote and a lot of these good people do not have cable bill and that's where I wear anyway so yes he could thing is he's for some reason lost the woman's vote Pernell yeah ego perhaps because he's had three wives uh-huh he's also by the way people don't realize this they know we said three wives he's also went three religions Gilley was born a Lutheran right then went to Baptist right probably to win election in Georgia and now he's a Catholic I love people who have three of the one true faith I was I was not that's why I come here to pick up your papers and to it is that is amazing to me he never mentioned that when he was here made you I never asked them so what did you talk about and what scale that guy do when this was here I think he was going to meet a pastime and I said he had nice hair then we read an email and he left I know if he doesn't talk to me only he write well [Applause] he doesn't like they don't like you he's very conservative [Applause] [Music] show me your junk Korea day so let's do the candidates we talked about there's there those Gingrich there's a Santorum there's a Mitt Romney Mitt Romney yes yeah what's wrong with that Romney's got lovely hair seems nice well you know what's wrong with him I mean let me count the ways for first of all he's very out of touch with the regular person in this country you know he's one of these rich people who buys into this theory the Republicans put out this idea now that America is not as the Democrats would describe it haves and have-nots they hate that idea for I say we're halves and soon to haves mark Rubio made a speech he said when Americans drive through a rich neighborhood we don't look at the houses and hate the people in the houses we look at those houses and say congratulations we'll be joining you soon that which I think when I Drive through Beverly hell yeah which this is that this is this is the worst game since pet rocks I mean it to hold that kind of carrot out to Americans they will be joining you soon yeah before after newts moon colony is up I would like to sooner than that I don't think that's a good idea then didn't call me I thought that was a great idea my you don't like Star Trek without Road little call he's a great idea like go to the moon where you gonna be a vacation dude that's pretty good what do you even need me before you like I still for you but it's only because you know gorgeous with everybody stop just Rocking absolutely I would have it no other whoa I know anyway look we're out of time do you want to do the mouth organ the glittery ball or the awkward pause or do you want to go for the big cash prize I want a big cash prize what time in the Johnson fifty dollars in a bag with a dollar sign on it in quarters right oh it would be perfect for the Batman villains yeah this is exactly what a Batman villain that I'll give it to Newt alright then you would be contributing to his campaign no I won't all right to make the window guess what's in my box I don't do that you can answer a question one way to win you can answer a question you ready I am alright then Iceland is in the North Atlantic its capital city is reka Vick okay I know it's not gonna anything to do with that yeah you're catching on divers yeah alright within five their many pounds of milk does it take to make one pound of cheese Oh I I don't know how people out there in America these good people they work in farms well they're American cheese they can answer this question right now how many pounds of milk articulate one pound of cheese yeah ten Ken [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] talk about it with my first guest tonight the very funny man his show Real Time with Bill Maher is on Friday nights on HBO and he's performing at the Palms in Las Vegas this weekend Bill Maher everybody Bill Maher [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] thank you very much hey Belle hey what's with the white shirt in the gray jacket well I know I called you last night we talked about this what we were going to wear well I said I said I wanted to wear a white shirt and gray jet this is I love when you come on strong like that hey you know we met here you know baby years ago this was at the OPI studio right hand this was I think so wasn't yeah I've been at this this is we people always definitely wife you're on HBO do you tape at CBS because that's show business yeah yeah face and and also it's corrupt it's a lot yeah yeah yeah it's corrupt it's corrupt any biennial but I've been on this lot since 1996 through politically incorrect when that was on Comedy Central then on ABC then real time at HBO ah but I've adored that's gang yeah that's right that's right we're still here and I may say I'm impressed you still go out and do the stand-up you still do your things though you know you're saying yeah yeah yeah all the time you have to get a sense of autonomy from the from the you know the Borg that controls you in my case CBS in your case the Democratic Party you know yeah and then oh it's a joke fellas a joke give us a joke I don't mind a joke that's just not an accurate one but but you know what I hire you boss wait I say that daddy no wait a minute everyone show about I can't figure well no because you know there's so much drama in late night yeah you know and you never take the bait now you know everybody else is all a little bit up going I did it as you're like now I'm happy here yep at 3:00 in the morning yep nobody knows I'm here bill I'm like I'm like the commando of late night I'm the new underpants of late night I sneak into your house you know the skeleton as the co-host I would have loved to have been at that production meeting when this show started you know I was like well should we have a sidekick you know a Ned McMahon Andy Richter type and then some people said no let's not do it and then somebody I'm guessing said let's do it but a skeleton suit well actually the first sidekick was a potato it really was I had a little potato sitting there and add a little face drawn on it and even I'll go that's great Creek and that cow over so listen you go and do stand-up the one impressed I think that's good that keeps you sharp that keeps your testicles taut it keeps your skills honed it's what I'm saying no I did you ask a question yeah I don't know do you think it does uh yeah I mean I'm in Vegas this weekend yeah do you do it for money or did you do it because you like to I mean there is money involved yeah I go for a lot of reasons one you know when you start out and stand up and sucks it's which one of the hardest jobs to begin it's awful because I remember I just I'm just a girl like oh it's awful though because you're learning something yeah in front of people now if you learn hate you yeah well I hate you cause you stink you're right right yeah you know so we still talking about the early days of stand-up but you know it gets good later on after you know what you're doing and so your mother's will redeem that and I mean I I just loved Vegas because it's such an anti politically correct place it's yeah it's you know II as a stand-up personally it's the only place you can play between Thanksgiving in the end of the year because at that time of year everyone is spending all their money on Christmas but in Vegas Christmas does not exist they don't care for I have played there on December 23rd there's not I got I'm not free there's got a Fanta cost is not music there's not paper there's nothing nothing because they don't want to remind people that look you're you should be spending this money on your jokes instead of yeah you know I think that's probably true are you a gamblin man do you do you partake of the activities available up there gambling prostitution drugs any of that well at my age just I'm just really down to the drugs yeah yeah I think one of the core the great compensations were getting older the drugs get much better don't they I mean like the doctors when you had your colonoscopy that drug was amazing I thought are you doing my pharmaceutical drugs what other kind other I don't do illegal street drugs [Applause] no no no I like my drugs come to get delivered by a guy in a white coat and going over the drugs that will kill you they are yeah how about the part you have you got you must have a feeling about legalizing pot is a good have a feeling have you met me yeah you smoked a lot of pot you'll be into legalizing pot well I first of all I what do you mean by a lot a little bit I I mean yes I mean this is not a do it battery research there is some way I threw over there actually earlier on this is like having no Nelson Mandela on and not knowing he was in prison but yes I he was in prison yes he was I never brought it up when he was in yeah like come to this show anyway yeah I mean or my show or any all right but yes I mean we're moving toward that goal I mean you know this country has moved to a place I didn't think I would see in my lifetime two states have now voted to legalize it applause they don't you have a clause for box line yeah well no they have a saying that will applaud for point they hold it up yes our long national buzzkill is nearly over yeah and and I think that's a great thing I never cared for it much really to be attached to you we I'm not saying they should be illegal I'm sorry I never cared for it much you know but you tried it oh yeah it makes them too fine tried we went held a lot yeah yeah no I'm thinking every bug I've ever heard it this and it shows but this I understand this because I know pot only works on 1/3 of the people a third of the people who smoke pot get paranoid a third get sleepy and lazy and low B and lose their brain capacity a third get high there's a reason why they call it high because it makes you better way better and VBS can write 5 is over [Applause] [Music] we're back welcome back everybody we're back I mean with Bill Maher he was tell me he got a sparkling conversationalist class at that three-minute commercial break seemed it just went by like that and that is that I could see why you have to show my friend you were mesmerizing yeah well that's the way it is the way we do it here is you know we don't play the commercials during the commercial break we add them later using editing power I'm still a little pissed off about that shirt yeah you're looking right at it you're like you're like examining my chair when two men dressed the same mm-hmm it's maybe but maybe it means they like similar things get to your next question I don't have a next question you get to yours what about uh yeah I would like to ask you a few things okay then who are you I'm the mama Kardashian she's getting ruined too you know how old are you know 50 150 when I'm 57 isn't there something liberating about yeah look just yeah stop - not really caring her back when I pointed no antacid I know he's just kind of like I'm gonna go to the bathroom right here right right now and not only that you get a round of applause for it Oh indeed grandpa went in the bathroom right there he is so bad Julia was here last night Steven Tyler who's 65 67 63 or 64 or something he looks great though I mean it looks like like it's only version of himself he's the second yeah I saw Aerosmith recently oh yeah like you could smell the bengay I was deaf no no III hate it when people make fun of the Rolling Stones and you know like oh they're so old if they were too old to be doing it people wouldn't pay to see them no that's fine yeah me old as long as you're doing it well and they're still doing it well yeah also the Rolling Stones I must say they look like they did when they started they were skinny and ugly to begin with you're absolutely right they're skinny and ugly now yes that's true they and that's so rare I mean crosby Stills and Nash they look like they met at a Weight Watchers meeting you know I don't know how these guys have kept their waistline and every hair on their head even the guy who had cancer has every hair on his head you know why what was them for a little bit the Rolling Stones yeah yeah I worked with Mick Jagger for a while what was I like to have to haul around those and that was tough we I was writing a script he had seen a script written he wanted me to write for him so I was working with him he's clean II think they're all tiny it's like you know when you go to a museum and you see clothes from the olden days you think oh people were little back man that's what they're like I've met him he didn't strike me as tiny you have a big head metaphorically or just like physically a giant physically a giant head why are you even saying that I can't believe you're giving me a hard time about my helmet Bill Maher everybody Belmont [Music] [Applause] take that now no not at me [Applause] sorry this runoff give me that damn thing no you're gonna hold outside dog Oh see I don't know how to do it oh yeah okay now what

Channel: The Jayleno Fly

Views: 382,402

Keywords: クレイグと女の子の女性, クレイグ・ファーガソン, ロボットをゲオフ, craig ferguson, craig ferguson and the ladies, flirting masterclass, funny late night, best talkshow, funny talkshow, talkshow compilation, talkshow moments, flirt talkshow, geoff the robot, the jayleno fly, funny moments, bill maher, bill maher craig ferguson, bill maher interview, bill maher michael jackson, bill maher politically incorrect, politics, bill maher donald trump, bill maher funny, bill maher talkshow, comedy

Id: XAywG0wWySQ

Length: 51min 39sec (3099 seconds)

Published: Wed Jun 28 2017