Bill Burr - Why I Avoid Going To A Doctor!

[Music] you talk about all this bodily stuff did did you almost die you what what what is you afraid of death or something no no I just always have something wrong with me I have I'm littered in hives every single day and they think it's the vaccine I have like rashes all the time I have scars from the Sun I have like I always have something wrong with me but this when I was young she fingered me she it's penitis and I was like I think I have an ovarian cyst and she's like no I'm the doctor and then I went and they were about to remove it like I was in the hospital with IV the doctor came in I'm like I'm like please I'm like a 15-year-old girl being like just check please check I think it's over veryan incist and they checked one more time with the the thing and they're like oh yeah [ __ ] it's in a very s I'm like you were going to take out my appendix for no reason because a woman with big fingers touched the wrong thing I don't know where the hell she was in there with gloves on I hope she had gloves on now that I think about it I don't know if she gloves they get a lot of stuff right though yeah they do and I look I hey I love doctors I'm not going to doctor yeah I'm just thinking like all this sh like the people that work in labs to cure diseases they must like on their coffee break be like why are we saving these unappreciative [ __ ] ass why we there are too many people on the plan like I just like it's you know somebody not funny telling you how to do a joke is like people not smart or not train in the area telling them how to do their [ __ ] job it has to be maddening especially when it's something like what we do is silly what they're doing is actually saving your [ __ ] life and you're like yeah no according to my research like all right according to this last Reddit search I did did yeah you know according to uh I agreei you.net uh they're saying you know this so have you ever self diagnosed yourself before on Google doing that whole thing where you're like I have this no really I don't I just [ __ ] like go see suffer and then my wife looks at me he's like what's wrong with you like that's what I learned she's like go to the [ __ ] doctor appendix ruptures you keep playing Little League Baseball just keep going were you good playing come on run it out there just running as fast as I can I'm [ __ ] dying from the inside are you like worried about your kids do you take them they go get checkups obviously but still young um no I could be better at that cuz I learned cuz I learned I kind of realized like uh that you know there was definitely um you know just something back in the day like you know I I feel like back in the day you were either that uh like hypochondria anytime your kid sneezed I remember like I had like neighbors like their kids would get a cold and they would take them to the hospital and my whole family would laugh at them be like oh my God point out the window yeah like they have got to be the biggest bunch of [ __ ] [ __ ] uhhuh yeah you just call the [ __ ] hey the [ __ ] you're like [ __ ] it rained today they're probably calling the [ __ ] Coast Guard [ __ ] [ __ ] like that's how we look but there they had to be like a happy Mee him because they were like overly so um I could probably uh you know but my wife is good at that stuff so that's usually how it works like hopefully in a relationship the stuff you're bad at they're good at and you know and you kind of able to fill in enough of the stuff so you're not like I don't think my parents were like that when I was a kid when I had the ovarian Cy thing they were like just try sleep like just try sleep sleeping sitting up and I'm like I don't want to sleep sitting up I'm in severe pain cuz my dad was like super European so he'd be like just eat some garlic have some have some cloves of garlic I'm like that's all he did as a kid he's like yogurt my grandpa lived to 107 off yogurt and garlic well the guy insides are rotten I don't what to tell you I got a friend of mine told me I forget what I had but she told me to to to she goes I know this is going to sound [ __ ] up but take a raw onion cut it in half and then tape it to your foot to your foot did you do it yeah you did it yeah like all right I'll do it and I put a sock on will you have a flew or something what the hell was wrong with you I forget what I had but I just remember the the end result was my room smelted like onions that's so was this recently you like this is it was it and it went away you're fine I forget what I had I can't remember what it was a white or a red onion oh no not no the red onions for the elbow no I'm kidding I'm kidding remember ring of onions I don't remember but like but her [ __ ] though is like it's like she's like she bats about 600 which is amazing okay so she seems to have like these oldw World remedies where there are some like uh you know there was some sort of Honey onion concoction with some uh um I don't know what the [ __ ] it is there's always there's always some sort there was some hot [ __ ] in there that whatever the [ __ ] it is cayenne Cayenne yeah yeah okay and you drink that and it kind of helps your immune system or something like oh my God uh uh uh ooh o o

Channel: Bill Burr University

Views: 8,417

Keywords: bill burr, bill burr university, podcast clips, funny, MMPC, monday morning podcast, going to a doctor, doctor, home remedies, treatment, steph tolev, Nia, Trump

Id: aPeDionWju0

Length: 5min 1sec (301 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 15 2023