Bill Burr & Joe Rogan - Never Use Your Debit Card

[Music] I was getting up against being here by 11 and I got to get home to take my wife out of the house because she's going nuts staying in the house with the kids so I got that thing and I got to sign this you know life insurance you know I got to do all this adult and I'm thinking I got this little window to get gas and I show up in the industrial park there's no gas station I finally going all the way down and the whole time it was like it's Thrifty and I'm thinking like isn't that a [ __ ] car rental place so I pull in and uh I stick to credit rise I stuck in and I'm going this is too easy because I know I have the exact amount of time to get her right on time and of course it's just like is this debit I'm like I'm like no and they go go in and see the the guy behind the register I'm like yeah I try to use my credit card and he goes ah we don't we don't uh we don't take credit cards here and I go why he goes I just take debit card I just kept saying why I'm a two-year-old and he finally just goes that's cheaper and I was like all right that's a good that's a good excuse I gave him like 60 bucks and it'll end up being like 30 nights then I had to go back in and get my change and he's looking at me like see [ __ ] idiot it would have cost you like 15 more so I do that all the time yeah I'm not a bigger fan of those [ __ ] debit card only ones that's stupid why not you never use your debit card use your credit card anyway why what happened because that's your money so if somebody takes that and then cleans you out that's your [ __ ] if somebody swipes your credit card number that's their money so then they call you up and they just go Hey Joe did you buy a ham hock in [ __ ] Vancouver at a strip club uh well I know I didn't I was in Burbank good luck with that has anybody ever bought a ham hockey dude you've given me every piece of the [ __ ] elk except that I've got some ham hock for you some uh some bones he can uh chop up and make marrow with so I gotta I got a buddy of mine as a lawyer who who uh prosecutes uh identity theft which a lot of lawyers don't want to do because it's unbelievably tedious and they when they call up a lot of times they call them up to credit card companies to uh to fight for their case they still have to go through that maze if you'd like to do this press one if you'd like to do that press two you know and then are trying to help them out so but that was one thing that I remembered out all the things he told me not to do because don't ever use your debit card because if they get that and they clean you out that's your [ __ ] money you know and then all of a sudden you get a mortgage coming up and then you're late and you're like No but somebody took my my money and blah blah blah it's your credit card they have to deal with it I had an attempt recently and uh I'm I'm thinking I'm wondering whether or not it's because I switched over to Windows because you know I have this Windows computer now I get pissed off at Mac people got mad at us clearing our throat and I just cleared my throat again um I switched over to this Windows computer because I get mad these Macs they they switched over all the ports and now you have this USBC and you have to get an adapter if you want to use all your other [ __ ] to it I was like I got Rosetta Stone French right I can't there's no place to stick the [ __ ] yeah you have to get an adapter you get it so I was like what the [ __ ] how about the iPhone 7 with the little [ __ ] umbilical lightning thing yeah yeah we can get a splitter with that where it goes with uh you can use a regular headphone jack but it's all extra money yeah it's all extra money and then you [ __ ] lose them I think the idea is that eventually there's going to be some peripherals that are more powerful and they don't work on the existing ports but you know like I got this uh this Lenovo ThinkPad and I love it and this is the second one that I got because it's got everything it's got an ethernet port it's got HDMI it's got all this [ __ ] it's tiny the battery life is [ __ ] forever it's got this fat battery on the bottom but for the first time in a long time somebody tried to steal my identity and I'm like geez I wonder if it's has to do with that I wonder if it's a Windows thing does that make sense wow not really could be could be something else I don't know but uh it's Sneaky but at least when I have a business management company they contact me they put the stop to it right away oh that's cool but it's uh it's disconcerting that your shit's out there you know someone's trying to find your social security number and attach it to your credit card and yeah buy something yeah I've had it happening at the gas stations where they put that fake scanner on they put a fake scanner over the scanner so as you scan through and you're even allowed you even are using it like you're using your credit card you're buying gas but you gave them your credit card information yeah I've two times credit cards that's happening at gas station restaurants are another big double swipe thing yeah restaurants well that's people that work there scumbags you gotta go uh you got to go cash as much as you can I know right isn't that crazy this never happened you don't know me I know a guy he's dead now but he was one of the first credit card thieves and his name was International Sal that's what we used to call him because uh when he got arrested that's what the that was what his nickname was was International South because this is in like the 70s or the 80s when credit cards first came out he would get those uh those carbon slips from restaurants and they would make up new credit cards and then sell them to criminals and he would just get bags and bags of cash from it and this guy was gambling he would go to the pool hall that I went to and just he was like the most Perpetual loser you've ever seen in your life like he could not win it was a psychology sounds like an oscar-winning movie yeah this guy's life well in a way it probably should be I mean he was a he was a trip so how did he how did he end up dying cancer bad uh colon cancer it was real it was real bad and a buddy of mind that's why Hollywood would switch up this this uh the script it's just too common go off a bridge like Thelma and Louise [Laughter] oh

Channel: Bill Burr University

Views: 1,545,600

Keywords: bill burr, joe rogan, bill burr joe rogan, jre, mmpc, bill burr university, bill burr comedy, bill burr podcast, funny, podcast clips, joe rogan experience, never use debit card, bill burr advice

Id: CFXK7JMvptI

Length: 5min 58sec (358 seconds)

Published: Sun Feb 05 2023