BEST TALKING HEADS (Season 1) - The Office US

people say I am the best boss they go god we've never worked in a place like this before you're hilarious and you get the best out of us I think that pretty much sums it up I found it at Spencer Gifts downsizing I have no problem with that I have been recommending downsizing since I first got here I even brought it up in my interview I say bring it on people I respect heroes of mine would be Bob Hope Abraham Lincoln definitely Bono um probably God would be the fourth one and I just think all those people really helped the world in so many ways that it's um it's really beyond words it's really incalculable I suggested we flip a coin but Angela said she doesn't like to gamble of course by saying that she was gambling that I wouldn't smack her the most sacred thing I do is care and provide for my workers my family I give them money I give them food not directly but through the money I heal them today I am in charge of picking a great new health care plan right that's what this is all about does that make me their doctor yes in a way yeah like a specialist well first what we have to do is find out what motivates people more than anything else sex it's illegal can't do that next best thing torture come on Dwight just help me out here it's just stupid in the wild there is no health care and the wild health care is ow I hurt my leg I can't run a lion eats me and I'm dead well I'm not dead I'm the lion you're dead it's a real shame because studies have shown that more information gets passed through water cooler gossip than through official memos which puts me at a disadvantage because I bring my own water to work that was beautiful all her idea - awesome she's so great when I am backed into a corner that is when I come alive see I learned improv from the greats like um drew Carey and Ryan Stiles [Music] Robin Williams oh man what I love to go head-to-head with him oh that would be exciting all right I'm Mork from ork but I'm I'm blocked from smorc no no no no Judy Blume rule today is diversity day and someone's gonna come in and talk to us about diversity it's something that I've been pushing that I've been wanting to push for a long time and corporate mandated it and I never actually talked to corporate about it they kind of beat me to the punch bastards um but but I was going to and I think it's very important that we have this and so I'm I'm very very excited when I am playing hoops all of the stress and responsibility of my job here just melts away it's gone so Who am I am i Michael Scott I might just be a basketball machine what's done in wrestling I've never heard of it filing paperwork who cares possible downsizing well that's back that's probably gonna happen actually my fiance has plans for us this Saturday so I really hoped wait doesn't make me work maybe I should sleep with him I'm kidding kidding totally kidding Jim it's okay here but people sometimes take advantage because it's so relaxed I'm a volunteer sheriff's deputy on the weekends and you cannot screw around there it's sort of one of the rules how come Chris Rock can do a routine and everybody finds it hilarious and groundbreaking then I go and do the exact same routine same comedic timing and people file a complaint to corporate is it because I'm white and Chris is black I do I read small business man I also subscribe to USA Today and American Way magazine that's the in-flight magazine some great articles in that they did this great profile last month of Doris Roberts and where she likes to eat when she's in Phoenix illuminating I'm a deer hunter I go all the time with my dad one thing about deer they have very good vision one thing about me I am better at hiding than they are at vision football is like rock and roll it's us boom and basketball is like jazz you know you're kind of downbeat it's in a pocket I live by one rule no office romances no way very messy inappropriate no but I live by another role just do it Mikey it's nice having Katie around it's another person for Michael to interact with I think in order to be a ladies man it's imperative that people don't know you're a ladies man so I kind of played that close to the chest hello what can I say women are attracted to power and I think other people have told me I have a very symmetrical face I don't know I don't know maybe they're right do I feel bad about betraying Jim not at all that's the game convince him we're in an alliance get some information throw him to the wolves that's politics baby get what you can out of someone then crush them I think Jim might have learned a very valuable lesson when I retire I don't I don't want to just disappear to an island somewhere I want to be the guy who gives everything back a check for the kids and for the team I want it to be like hey who donated that hospital wing that is saving so many lives well I don't know it was anonymous well guess what that was Michael Scott but uh those anonymous how do you know because I'm him can I trust Jim I don't know do I have a choice no frankly I don't will I trust Jim yes should I trust Jim you tell me Coffee is the great incentive Iser in the office it's a drug he's quite literally a drug that speeds people up it's not the only drug that speeds people up you hear stories about Dunder Mifflin in the 80s before everybody knew how bad cocaine was good man did they move paper what is the most important thing for a company is it the cash flow is it the inventory no it's the people the people my proudest moment here was not when I increased profits by 17% or when I cut expenses without losing a single employee new new new new new it was a young Guatemalan guy first job in the country barely spoke English came to me and said mr. Scott would you be the Godfather of my child Wow didn't work out in the end we had to let him go he sucked the purse girl hits everything on my checklist creamy skin straight teeth curly hair amazing breasts not for me for my children the schrutes produce very thirsty babies do I have a special someone well yeah of course a bunch of them my employees if I had to choose between a one-night stand with some stupid cow I pick up at a bar and these people I pick them every time because with them it is an everyday stand and I still know their names in the morning [Music]

Channel: The Office

Views: 546,467

Keywords: the office, the office full episodes, rainn wilson, john krasinski, steve carell, michael scott, the office fire drill, jim and dwight pranks, dwight schrute, jim halpert, jenna fischer, the office thug life, the office funniest moments, the office bloopers season 1, the office cpr, the office parkour, Best The Office Moments, Compilation, Season 1, Talking heads, Interviews, Blonde dwight, No healthcare in the wild, I'm the lion, WORLD'S BEST BOSS

Id: nxD1LAOabAw

Length: 10min 11sec (611 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 08 2020