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Welcome Friends to another r slash am I the Jerk video I don't mean to be a jerk asking a bunch of things but could you hit the like And subscribe buttons down below that said our first question of the day is by sad3531 am I the jerk for refusing to stop having girls night ends just because my boyfriend thinks it's wrong hi so I've been seeing this guy will 27 year old male for months now he's so sweet and funny and creative fun fact he drives two cars that He adjusted slash fixed on his own we don't live together but we do meet at my place every weekend he called and asked what we'll be doing on Friday and I said I wanted to host a gni since it was my turn he asked what the heck was a gni I said a girls night in and he got quiet then asked if I was being serious I was confused as he started talking about how outdated and so 1950s those events are and said that I should stop promoting and advocating for those events as there's so toxic and flat out a reek of misogyny I was shocked by his long rant but he said that that was his honest opinion I told him regardless I still plan to host the event after he tried talking me out of it and suggested we go out together he threw a fit after he suggested bringing his guy friends to join us and I refused since this is not how gni's work he called me a sexist and misogynistic for having a girls night in and making it so obvious instead of being ashamed of myself he said that my mentality will cause me issues in the future especially if I behave like that in a professional work setting let me tell you I was blown away by how he got so worked up like that over me just missing my girls and wanting to spend time with them we argued some more and he hung up on me after I said I will not stop hosting or being part of gni's no matter what he says about it I tried to call and apologize for lashing out later but he sent a text saying he was hurt by how I handled our small disagreement and needs time to process what he just found out about my personality this hurt me but my friendship and the bond I share with my girlfriends is huge and I don't want to risk the years of friendships by no longer being part of our bonding activities am I the jerk for making this my hill to die on like he says definitely in my book not the jerk for anybody that doesn't know there's different categories people tend to rate these stories which is you're the jerk not the jerk everyone sucks no jerks at all and not enough info definitely not the jerk in my book this isn't about being sexist or misogynistic this is about this guy being jealous he can't be part of whatever probably insecure that he can't be there every single moment he can to me this smells like a giant red flag do you guys agree with me that this is more about the guy just being insecure let me know what you think in the comments down below our next question is by proud AF fur Mama one am I the jerk for asking mom to leave after she insulted my kitten so last year my beloved Eddie cat passed away at the age of 14 after a lengthy illness I was devastated as I had raised her since she was a newborn kitten and her mama abandoned her I'm talking about like literally having to sneak her into high school with me to be able to bottle feed her I've been living alone for a year and it's been kind of lonely so I've slowly gotten to the point where I felt I was ready to adopt another cat after reaching out to the main rescues I found two brothers who I fell in love with the moment I saw their pictures I ended up naming them Bucky and Steve after the two main characters from the Captain America movie comic franchise the thing about Steve is he was born bobtailed which means just like a bobcat he was born without a tail he has a little nub which kind of resembles a rabbit tail my mom came over today to meet both my new boys and from the moment she saw Steve the comments just started coming about how freaky his nub looks and how it's not normal I was really annoyed but he's a kitten so it's not like he understands he's being insulted what really upset me and led me to kick her out is when Steve climbed into her lap and attempted to curl up in it Steve TV is the more shy of the two kittens so he often hides or takes longer to become comfortable with Unknown People in situations but he loves to cuddle up in people's laps once he feels safe he had just settled into her lap and was contentedly purring when she roughly picked him up and I don't even know how to describe it she didn't exactly throw him to the other end of the couch but she didn't exactly Place him there either that's when I lost my cool and told her that she was a guest and my home was now Steve's home and if she couldn't respect him she needed to leave she scoffed and didn't take it seriously so I doubled down and was like I'm a hundred percent serious leave my house now she started yelling that she raised me and how disrespectful I was being all because of a cat I don't know I just feel like she was being unnecessarily mean to an innocent animal just because he looked different am I the jerk well let's look at it the way it was you invited your mother over to meet the new pets you just got and what they do they talk bad about them they say mean things about the pets you rescued and then they handle them roughly as a person that loves pets and I've had cats I've had dogs you insulting or handling roughly my pets is like talking bad about one of my best friends right to their face and it's even worse when you realize they're innocent animals they don't know any better they never made a conscious choice to Bob their tail or look a certain way or act a certain way it's just they're innocent animals it would definitely upset me too I don't think Opie's The Jerk here this next question is by an anonymous poster am I the jerk for firing a girl I'm a manager at a small business it's just me the owner and another person who's my employee the owner usually handles the checks on a certain day we still haven't set up direct deposits yet because they have limits with their Banks the day the checks were supposed to go out the owner's father had to be rushed to the hospital and it was so bad that we didn't think he would make it this resulted in our checks being two days late I understand that it was inexcusable and unprofessional however it was something out of the owner's hands the girl however was up in arms angry and calling the owner multiple times about her check while this father Lay Dying he answered her the first time then told me to handle it and I explained everything to her however she still kept calling the owner I get that we all need money but in my opinion it's just tasteless to demand a man leave his dying Father's Side just so you can get your check on time she was our opener on Monday and she was late and not even in uniform I told her that being late especially when the store opens at 7am and she's the opener is inexcusable barring an extenuating circumstance and she went on a very long and drawn out rant about her check I informed her that I don't ever check and she'll get it once the owner comes later that day and my job is to ensure that she's doing her job and coming late 8 and not on our standard uniform is not our image and she kept deflecting and demanding to speak to the owner whose father's on his deathbed I fired her for a few reasons but the last nail in the coffin was her blatant disrespect for the owner and myself I did not come to argue with her however she was ready to battle I still feel guilty about it but I honestly don't know what else I could have done we did get her her check as soon as the owner got there but I didn't think she was a good fit for a few reasons and let her know that we won't be needing her anymore so read it did I do something wrong I definitely have a lot of compassion for the owner in the situation because I understand why it happened the fact of the matter is though as an owner and by hiring somebody you do have a contractual obligation to pay somebody on time I can't really blame the employee for being upset because you know imagine that check comes in and a day later they have to pay their rent sadly most landlords probably won't care too much about the owner's situation of the business you work at so the employee doesn't get paid on time you don't know what the employee has to do as far as financial obligations and then the next day they can come in they do so because understandably they want to get their check right the owner and the manager op already haven't paid the lady what she's entitled to get upset when they try to collect the money that they're entitled to when they're supposed to get it at that point you're kind of lucky that the employee showed up at All Uniform or not honestly after an experience like that firing the employee is maybe what they might have wanted like I said I definitely have a lot of Sympathy for the owner situation and I understand why it happened but the owner does have an obligation to pay people on time this next question is by throw ra not outed am I the jerk for outing my sister to her kids her kids were having a sleepover we've always had this picture of my family up from when we were really young and this was the first time her kids ever asked about it she's also seen the picture and never commented on it they asked who she was in the picture my sister started transitioning in high school so I didn't really think of her as trans like I know she wasn't always a woman but old pictures of her are just pictures of her to me and I sort of assume people know and it's not a big dark secret naturally I responded honestly I told them that was their mom her daughter said that she looked like a boy and I said she was I try to explain that she was a boy but now she's not and her son thought it was funny but it made her daughter really upset I was surprised she kept it from them it didn't come up again after that her and her husband picked the kids up eventually and neither kid seemed upset about it overall it was a pretty good sleepover a few hours later I have her husband on the phone asking what I said and calling me insane he said my daughter is distraught he was saying I outed her and how cruel that was but kids are pure outing means nothing to them because you can teach them empathy and understanding there's nothing to be afraid of being outed to a kid still I did out her which I apologized for I eventually got her on the phone and she said she's really upset with me but she understands I didn't mean to cause any harm I asked her if she was ever planning to tell her kids and she said she wasn't sure I was shocked at that my sister isn't typically a dishonest person at all both kids even know they're adopted I told her I did her kids a favor which I believe and then she said I'm never sorry about anything I think outing is horrible but in this situation was it Justified my husband also agrees it's the kind of lie that would have left her children distrustful of her in the future now I'm definitely not the most knowledgeable person about these kinds of situations but I would still say op is pretty clearly The Jerk in the story something so meaningful and sensitive like a topic like that re really should be up to the person behind it to be able to make that decision on what they do disclose when they do disclose it how much how little especially something that was so ongoing between a parent and their kid finding out that something like that was offhandedly explained to your kids when you never got a chance to even have a say in it op I think is definitely the jerk like kind of big time and frankly I feel like you can hear hints of it when op writes I told her I did her kids a fever which I believe to me that means op just completely disregards anything the sister feels or thinks and our final question of the day is by ruthless G am I the Jerk by eating meat in front of a vegan my 27 year old female sister-in-law 28 year old female has been vegan for the last six plus years and vegetarian for 15 plus years the rest of our family eat meat besides my grandmother who's vegetarian we have a very small family and have always come together on Christmas day now for the last three years at my sister-in-law's request we've had a fully vegan Christmas dinner no ham no turkey not even any Christmas pudding or custard our families will be gathering this year at my home and I've asked that we have food options available for everyone yes including meat and animal products of course there'll be plenty of good vegan food all sorts of salads and roast veggies not Loaves and other meat Alternatives as well as vegan snacks desserts and drink options and of course we'll keep the food separate so the meat doesn't sit on the table or contaminate her food for context I'm currently in recovery for 10 plus years of disordered eating and I've previously used restrictions such as not eating meat or animal products as a way of significantly minimizing my caloric intake not eating meat allowed me to consume 200 to 600 calories a day without coming to the attention to those around me as part of my recovery it's important for me to allow my body the food that it desires and not cut out entire food groups additionally I'm currently pregnant with a little girl so not only am I limited to what I can eat but I also want to get my relationship with food right before I project my issues onto my child therefore this year for the first time in three years I have very gently informed my sister-in-law of the above and that will be serving meat at Christmas this year there was a lot of back and forth and I tried to stay as polite yet for term as I could the conversation was calm however after it she texted me saying that for her seeing people eat meat is the equivalent of seeing people eat human flesh and therefore she won't be joining us for Christmas this will have a knock-on effect as her immediate family will be forced between choosing to join us or her I imagine they'll choose to stick with her as to not get on her bad side she can be very controlling at times hence why we've had three Christmases in a row so far that have been dictated by her lifestyle choice I want my child to grow up enjoying all food and to embrace past traditions of a Christmas ham or turkey and all that comes with it I've been told Now by numerous family members that I've ruined Christmas not only for this year but for future years too now instead of having one big day together people have broken off into smaller groups as a result of this conversation and family tensions are at an all-time high what do you think am I the jerk why while I do understand the sister-in-law situation and their discomfort with seeing meat or seeing meat get eaten if you're wanting to have a major event with loads of people from different areas and spread out families coming together I think one of the concessions you have to make is that there's different lifestyle choices being had between all of these different people and especially an OP situation they have legitimate reasons why they would want to stick to that lifestyle it's not really the same kind of thing but I've had relatives whose husband and wife are different religions and they'll celebrate those together I think the one thing about Christmas get-togethers is it's full of compromise and sharing with one another right I understand the sister-in-law's situation but Opie's not the jerk Opie did all that they could to compromise and support their lifestyle while also maintaining theirs that they need if trying to support everybody ruins it for everybody what more can you do am I the jerk for changing all the locks of my house without letting my mom know when I 23 year old male was 15 my dad died my mom 45 didn't wait too long to start over and moved her new partner in just two months later my dad left everything to me and not even a dime to her they weren't married my dad's will was structured so that she couldn't challenge it and she attempted and even asked me to pass over one of my properties to her to show my new dad that he was welcomed I couldn't even if I wanted to because my dads will specified that I must be 21 to have access to everything he left me this dude had kids 18 year old male 19 year old female their ages now and my mom prioritized them to keep him happy I mean she wasn't like abusive or neglectful but she tended to favor them they went on trips and even if she didn't tell me not to go she'd say something between the lines as wouldn't you like to go to your grandparents my dad's better I mean I'm not stupid I know she didn't want me there when I turned 17 she asked me to leave my own house because I kept fighting with her dude and I also reminded him of whose house it was when he wanted to play the man of the house I also called him John Conroy my parents told me to avoid confrontation so I went to live with them my mom would visit me often and tell me how much she loved me but she needed to keep peace at home after college I decided to check my properties and also the one that my mom's living at I wanted to renovate it to rent it since it's a good one and can help me to afford my masters I went there to inform my mom but no one was there later I found they went on vacations I called her but she didn't answer so I proceeded to change the locks mainly to officially take possession they arrived yesterday and couldn't get in of course they called me but I wasn't in the town I went today because some renovation Works will start in a few weeks I was in the backyard and my mom came in Furious yelling at me saying how dare I do that so we talked and I let them know they have two weeks to leave leave her husband an unemployed oh sorry self-employed was Furious my mom and her stepdaughter started crying because of the girls pregnant I'm sorry but I made up my mind my mom's family shaming me but I'd like to know if you think I'm the jerk my mom called me today saying we can talk considering the entire time this is op's property that they own I don't think they can be the jerk for wanting to take control of their property regardless of who's living in there secondly op was kicked out of their own property when they were younger by their own mom so would you guys agree with me that op has every right to kick them out in return now and take control of their property let me know if you guys agree with me in the comments down below our next story is from no material 4161 am I the jerk for not letting my neighbors access our pool my spouse 45 and I 46 bought a house in February with a pool it's a non-hoa single-family home we keep it for ourselves we have friends over again occasionally and we've enjoyed having people over for food drinks and of course swimming pool parties now that the weather allows for it we fit in the neighborhood or so we thought until Neighbors from three surrounding homes and us got into a weird conversation around their expectations to access the pool for weekend and holiday pool parties apparently the owners before us had kids and were friends with the neighborhood kids the neighborhood kids and adults would use the pool when they wanted to the gate was always open and they even had their Inflatables nearby and had arranged paying for the maintenance of the pool we told them that we're fairly private people and we enjoy our privacy and don't see ourselves letting neighbors have access to our backyard whenever they want each time many of us are wandering around outside they just ask over and over and try to sell the idea of having access to it they offer money and sharing the maintenance fees and such I was trying to enjoy gardening and was cornered once again I just really firmly told them that they really need to stop talking about the pool each time they see us stood up and left as I was walking back towards the gate to the backyard within our property line they were following me talking my ears off one of the ladies slash moms was still going on and on because she asked nicely and offers to pay for the maintenance and that she really didn't understand why I was so against it I turned around and asked them to leave now and never follow me on my property ever again we politely decline over and over and we're seriously getting tired of the nagging and the pool and their access to it being the only thing they want to connect with us about it's not like we created a bond or anything all convos are about the pool we had a party yesterday evening and as I was showing the front yard to my friend my neighbor popped up and was talking about how it must be nice to be invited to enjoy the pool and I said to her can you go now I'm having company am I the jerk for not wanting neighbors to have access to my property and seriously losing my patience with their expectations I think op is definitely not the jerk and frankly their situation sounds a little nightmarish they move into a new house hopefully they like it got a nice pool in the backyard they want to enjoy it and then it's like any second you step outside you're just getting harassed by your neighbors constantly like let us use your pools at all hours of the day it sure would have been nice if you gave us unbridled access to your pool at what point does OP start building a legal case for a harassment charge our next story is from aita throwaway twin am I the jerk for screaming at my sister at my engagement party I 28 year old female am getting married in six months to my fiancee 30 year old male The wedding will be really small only close family and friends and we've had a quick engagement just because we've been together for so long eight years now I have an identical twin sister M despite us being twins em and I have never been close due to M's seemingly pathological need to be better than me at everything ever since we were little she's had to be the better twin at everything if I wanted to do a sport she had to do the sport too if I showed an interest in a hobby she had to excel at that hobby our appearance always made a point of letting us find our own personalities outside of being twins so M's Behavior made it hard growing up it got worse in high school when I started to date any boy I showed an interest in she had to get there first it didn't matter if she liked him or not it only stopped when I moved away for University I got into my first choice M applied but didn't get the grades I moved away found my own personality and met my now fiance I've hardly seen M over the past few years except for Christmases and our birthday it all came to a head and my engagement party last month I invited my family and unknown to me my mother had told M what kind of outfit I was wearing she came and addressed almost exactly like mine but more glamorous her hair and makeup had been professionally done and she did look incredible I try to ignore it as it was a celebration for me and my fiance the night went well until M decided to make a speech side note m is not a bridesmaid I'm only having my best friend from University as a bridesmaid the whole speech was about us being Twins doing everything together and how much I'd always try to be just like em she joked about the boys I dated made a dig at not being a bridesmaid because Opie's probably worried I'd steal her Thunder and I rounded it off by saying if you get tired of her you know where I am to my fiance I saw Red grabbed her by the arm and dragged her in into the hallway now I'll admit I swore a lot while screaming at her and had no idea everyone at the party could hear I ripped into M and called her a psychotic jealous runt who couldn't stand the idea of her sister being happy I also yelled about how if she hadn't spent our entire lives pretending to be me she wouldn't be single unemployed and still living at home I rounded It Off by telling her to screw off and not bother coming to my wedding as I didn't want a pathetic waste of DNA there harsh words but I was really mad since then several family members including my mother have called me a jerk for embarrassing M at a family party and for bringing up sensitive subjects such as her unemployment I'm refusing to back down on her not being there despite nearly my entire family telling me to get over myself am I the Jerk It's Easy for all of these family members to say op is the jerk from the outside looking in not having to go all their lives with somebody that has tried to upstage them every step of the way and not only upstage them but try to like take these things at op's trying to achieve before op can achieve them themselves by the way if you're enjoying these stories make sure to hit those like And subscribe buttons down below so you never miss any of my daily videos every single video has awesome stories like our next story from safe amoeba a327 am I the jerk for laughing at what my son said and not saying something to him my son 15 was talking to my ex his dad while playing video games the other night he rarely talks to him due to his dad not making an effort he hasn't seen his dad in almost three years even though he only lives five miles away they were talking and yelling and I walked past the living room to the kitchen to put some dishes in the sink and wash the dishes and overheard them I told my son that when he's done playing games with his dad to get the Coke cans from his room so the ax knew I was in the room well they keep playing and then my son yells at his dad you suck worse than Kyle over something his dad did in the game Kyle is my boyfriend of two and a half years X asks who's Kyle I don't talk to my ex unless it's an emergency if he wants to talk to the kids they're all teens and have a phone I also don't care what they tell him as I have nothing to hide from him I kind of just assumed they mentioned Kyle before to him my son looks at me I look back at him and shrug basically telling son to tell Dad who Kyle is my son tells his dad your replacement there's a pause both my son and I bust up laughing X hangs up Suddenly later my ex messages me to complain that I was a terrible mom to allow my son to say that and I should have told him about Kyle when I started dating him we've been divorced nine years so am I the jerk for not responding when my son called my boyfriend his dad's replacement and then dying laughing I think op is definitely not the jerk is it possibly painful for the dad had to experience that sure but they abandoned their kid they've made no effort to try to be a part of their lives besides minimal effort while playing a video game they live only five miles away and they haven't visited in three years I think if that's the way the kid feels that's the way the kid feels and frankly in that situation it is kind of funny this next story is from throwaway key 56 it might have a jerk for refusing to give my son's dad a copy of the key of my new home my ex-husband 31 and I 30 divorced two years ago we share custody of our five-year-old son I moved up before the divorce and lived with my mom for a while recently I bought a one-story house using my dad's inheritance and I moved in with my mom and my son very recently his father comes to pick him up and then drop him off on certain days after I moved into the new house he had a conversation with me about wanting a copy of the key to the house I felt weirded out by this request but he explained that since I'm at work whenever he drops her son off he needs the key to get in and make our son something to eat and or prepare his bed I told him I have my mom there and she takes care of that he said it's not up to me and that he would like to have full access in any place his son is at I got upset and called him ridiculous he lashed back calling me unreasonable and that him getting a copy of the key was supposed to be a no-brainer and said he didn't even understand how this was a debate I told him to leave but he got his mom involved and she kept scolding me about trying to limit her son's access to his own child and acting stubborn about the key thing when this house was supposed to be the common area for us since my son lives here so his dad should have access to it I refused and Mom started arguing with his mom which caused a huge mess I feel like my joy in the new house is now ruined but I'm unsure if he has a valid argument here I think Opie is not the jerk and the bottom line here is its own op's home if they don't want their ex-husband in there or having a key to their house they have every right to enforce that and like obese expressed they have ample care there for their sons so there I need to be in there to help take care of them and put them to bed blah blah blah excuse isn't valid our next story is from left degree 2975 am I the jerk for laughing when my ex's wife complained to me X cheated on me with his current wife that was five years ago X and I share three sons who are 11 10 and 8. ex's wife has a daughter and a son with her ex who she also cheated on with my ex the two of them have said it all from it was meant to be to how great it is because the kids all have a bigger and happier family blah blah blah I'm over it in some ways there's very much a sting that the affair partner in my marriage gets to call herself my kid's stepmom but I'm not all that sorry that my ex is gone the man slept with her behind my back for 18 months before her husband and I found out I'm civil when the kids are around I ignore them when the kids aren't around this whole thing happened over X's parents they were disgusted with him for cheating mother-in-law told him that he destroyed his kids Foundation that leaving a spouse is never easy and divorce is hard for kids anyway but when you add conflict in the way of cheating you take something from a child that they can rarely ever get back and that's parents who can still care about each other and want the best for each other despite not being together they stayed very close with me and haven't welcomed ex's wife at all nor have they been involved with x's life since really or his stepkids it bothers her a lot my youngest son won an award in school a couple of weeks ago X and his wife were there so was I ex's wife ended up coming up to complain to me because both mine and ax's parents showed up briefly spoke to my son then to me and left she was saying how unfair it was how our kids don't understand why X's family have nothing to do with them and why they never see them but they know my kids don't have a relationship she said ex's family love me it hurts her feelings to not feel good enough I'll be honest I rolled my eyes first but then I laughed because she seemed to expect sympathy or help for me laughing at her pissed her off I've heard from her and my ex since that I was rude I should care about the kids at least and I'm not thinking of my kids when I keep Bad Blood between us and laugh at her suffering one part of me doesn't care and believes I'm fine once my kids couldn't see it Another Part Of Me wonders if I was a jerk to laugh at her am I the jerk as far as when the kids around it's good that op stays completely kind professional I guess you could say but frankly overall if you take a step back as far as your ex goes and the person your ex cheated with who is also now the Stepmom of your kids you have no obligation to be nice to them you have no obligation to help them out and frankly I I don't see how you're going to ever feel good about the prospect of helping out somebody who actively took part in destroying your marriage our next story is from us534-7751 am I the jerk I reported my car missing after my husband took it to attend his brother's wedding my husband 35 does not have a car he sold his old one to help pay for his brother's wedding I did not agree on this but he had this car before we got together so it's a shared property besides that I have my own car so that didn't affect me till my husband started complaining about having to commute to work and hang out places he tried to get me to let him drive my car several times but I stood firm and put a boundary making him understand that my car will never be driven by him one of the reasons why is how bad his driving is his brother lives out of town my husband asked if he could drive my car to the wedding but I refused but not because I'm not invited another story for another day but because like I said my car's off limits he threw a fit calling me on a reasonable to let him take public transportation because he can barely stand it for 10 minutes let alone hours I said it wasn't my problem which irritated him but made him stop arguing about it the day that he was supposed to travel out of town I woke at 10 am and couldn't find my car key I went outside and couldn't find my car either I was beyond pissed I called him and like I expected he took it and was on his way to the other town I lost it and told him I gave him no permission to take it for a whole five days and said that if he won't turn around with it and come home then I'd call the cops and reported missing his response was you wouldn't dare do it because you know what would happen I hung up on him then immediately called the police and told them about my situation I did not tell them my husband took it because they'd think it's a family dispute and decided not to get involved I just reported it missing two hours later I got a call from my husband saying he was back in town and was being held at our local police station I went to the station and talked to the cops my husband made a scene there swearing over and over that I gave him permission to take it and said I was acting out of jealousy in spite because he was going to attend a wedding that I was not invited to I took my car and went home but he had to stay a little longer he came home in the evening and went on a rage fit about how I created an awful situation and almost caused him to miss his brother's wedding he called me vindictive bitter and a lunatic to call the police on him and try to accuse him of stealing my car he had to leave the same day to be able to be there with his family and decided to extend this day and he still hasn't gotten back yet right now his mom and brother are blasting me for what happened and calling me spiteful I wish nothing but the best to op but I don't see how this relationship is going to last it seems completely contentious and Cutthroat and downright kind of ugly I don't think OB he's the jerk because they made it clear it's their car they don't want Opie's husband driving it they went and took it after they explicitly said no if it's your belongings that you say no to somebody else having or using and they go and take it anyways it's stealing and hope he's totally in the right this next story is from aita Doctor am I the jerk for telling my half-sister I don't think she's gonna make it through med school after she said my doctorate means nothing I 31 year old female have a half-sister Sharon 25 year old female Sharon and I were never super close as I spent most of my time with my dad and my mom's stepdad and Sharon were a proper family while I just became the other kid I didn't mind much because again I preferred staying with my dad anyway but he sadly passed when I was 16. I'm kind of low contact with my family now but I usually get invited to family events and see them there and we talk in message occasionally also I have a doctorate so my title is Doctor important to the issue there was a big party last night for Sharon recently getting into med school it was at a restaurant and there were Place cards with everyone's names on the tables they all said title and full name I noticed my card said Miss but I didn't say anything then later when I was talking to Sharon I just said oh by the way I think you might have messed up my card I'm Doctor not Miss Sharon said I'm not a real doctor to which I replied I have a doctorate so I also go by doctor she then said that it's not really the same thing I said again people who have doctorates are also referred to as Doctor even if they're not in the medical field Sharon then said I was undermining her achievement and Med schools a lot harder so my doctorate means nothing I got mad at her constant jabbing so I told her if you seriously think calling someone else doctor is undermining your achievement I don't think you're gonna make it through med school she sort of huffed and left to talk to someone else I assume she must have told my mom and stepdad about it because at the end of the night they came up to me and said I was really rude to Sharon and I didn't need to be jealous I'm not but okay I was just trying to defend myself but maybe I went too far am I the jerk I don't think op is the jerk at all when you earn your doctorate you're able to assume that title and I think it's reasonable to expect other people when at least addressing You by a title to address you with by the proper title and then they go and instead of just like apologizing for it or trying to correct it in any way they just make it some kind of weird jealousy thing and basically try to undermine oh peace title in my opinion they're the ridiculous ones here not OP our next story is from responsiblehelp4229 am I the jerk for keeping a secret storage unit my wife and I moved in six years ago after three years of dating when I moved into her place she didn't want a lot of my stuff in there because either she had it already or deemed as junk she didn't want my posters my toy toys or action figures and a bunch of other things she wanted me to get rid of it I tried appealing to her and finding a compromise but she was unwavering in her stance I almost gave them away until my friend just told me to put it in a storage unit since it wasn't a lot of stuff and they held significance in my life they were things I've had since I was an undergraduate and remind me of different times in my life I've always been nostalgic and never wanted to throw anything out because I feel like these items are memorabilia for another time in my life that will never come back so everything went into a storage unit I started with a locker but now I have a 5x10 not because I have that much stuff but because I like to spend some time staying in there and just going down memory lane every now and then I do it once a month or once every two months I even got things for my parents for my childhood in there my wife has always been the Practical one and never kept things unless they were super important or had major significance in her life she would honestly just throw out ninety percent of the things in the unit if not all so I always told her that I took care of the things she didn't want to keep but I did even now when I make purchases I know she won't let me keep they basically go in the unit recently my wife's been asking our kids to get rid of the toys they no longer play with but you know kids they don't want to do that despite the fact that they didn't really care for their old toys they didn't want to get rid of it either they were so upset and crying all day so I basically donated the toys that went untouched most of their lives and were still in good conditions and kept the worn out ones in my unit I took my kids with me to show them the toys and told them not to worry and I'll take care of the toys for them when we got home they were all happy and cheery when my wife asked them what's up they spilled the beans I never told them to keep it a secret but at the same time I didn't expect them to squeal my wife was very angry and demanded to see you unit I showed it to her and as expected she deemed all of the junk and wanted me to get her rid of it all I refused because I'm the one paying for it we have separate finances and this doesn't affect her in any way now she's not talking to me and everyone's been bashing me for keeping such a big thing a secret from her I just wanted my own space slash Den I probably shouldn't have hidden it but I know she would never approve of it and I didn't want unnecessary tension and drama am I the jerk I don't think LP's The Jerk admittedly I don't think they should have kept it a secret but I think the bigger problem here is op feeling like they can't be open about this about their desire or maybe even need to keep these things and hold on to them because of how controlling their spouse's being I think it tells you a lot that Opie would rather go out and pay for a storage locker to hold on to all these things rather than try to work it out with their wife and find a solution that makes both of them happy it sounds to me like the wife has a very unhealthy my way or the highway type way of dealing with things and frankly I feel bad for op because of that I'm not an expert here but to me I think that might be some form of emotional abuse our next story is from engineer this shoot am I the jerk for reminding my uncle then my sister is an engineer my uncle Duane is a realtor and he was telling everyone how smart he is and how he makes the best money in the family he was bragging over a Memorial Day weekend at a cookout I told him my half-sister Jenny is a computer engineer and in fact makes more than him he started saying he owns his own home we get into it because I said my sister owns two homes a townhouse in San Francisco and another in Austin Texas he was getting angry at me saying it's not the same thing and here we get more bang for our buck I told him he's still not the smartest or wealthiest person in the family though my uncle got super pissed at me and yelled at me saying I should be better behaved and try to get my dad into the argument and my dad didn't even acknowledge my uncle my grandma is so angry at my dad and I saying she'll never invite us over again or even give me another gift for Christmas or my birthday I told her that's fine my sister can afford to get me one from all of my dad's side of the family because we're tight my grandma and everyone stopped following me on Instagram saying I'm a jerk but I don't think I did much wrong yeah I think op's not the jerk here very clearly the uncle was feeling insecure wanted to be the biggest man on campus so to say and was upset and frustrated that they just could never be sadly it leaked over into more family members but I guess that's just how it goes and our final story of the days from the moon's love am I the jerk for walking out of a wedding I was supposed to host I 24 year old female have been hosting events since I was 18. I sometimes do it with pay but most of the time I just do it because it's fun I would usually offer to host events for close friends and family for free I jokingly asked them to pay me with good food and a good time and most of the time that's the case Daisy 25 year old female used to be a good friend of mine but now we're not that close anymore a few weeks ago I heard from one of my best friends that Daisy had been telling people that I would be the host at her sister's wedding reception she didn't ask me about it up until two weeks ago I wanted to say no but I'm actually really close with her family and I wanted to do them this favor I knew her sister was having a small wedding and they wanted to stay under a certain budget of course I wouldn't be paid for this event but it didn't matter I sent them the program for approval but never heard back from them until the day before the wedding all she said was oh yeah it was okay without saying anything else I felt a little worried about the whole event but I decided to push through because they'd already agreed the day of the wedding comes and Daisy told me to not come to the church and just go straight to the reception venue I did in when I arrived I was immediately being yelled at by the groom's family from what I was told they were the groom's aunts they criticized basically everything about me and told me that I should have dressed better and now all of their wedding photos would be ruined thanks to me I was wearing a dress pre-approved by the bride and had just plain makeup nothing too crazy since I was just a host I just lowered my head and didn't say much I waited until Daisy and her family would arrive when they did before I got a chance to tell her what had happened the groom's family chimed in and complained about verbatim how cheap looking the host they hired was I expected Daisy to defend me but she Shrugged and said the other host we hired canceled on us last minute please bear with her I promise she won't be in the pictures my jaw dropped when I heard her say that she ushered all the other guests inside the reception area and left me outside in my anger I left the venue without telling anyone Daisy kept calling me a few minutes after I left but I didn't answer a day later and my phone was being blown up by texts and calls from both the bride and the groom's family calling me all sorts of names for leaving the event without notice now I'm starting to feel bad about what I did am I the jerk you go out of your way for free to do the hosting for this event and you get treated by the guests like that and then when presented to the person who was supposed to be able to deal with that they lie to make themselves look better I don't think Opie's The Jerk at all for walking out of that situation they put no effort into making sure Opie felt wanted to be there considering they were doing it for free am I the jerk for telling my son the truth that the reason I had zero contact with him while he grew up is because I hate kids I won't beat around the bush I hate kids hate is literally the smallest word I could use to describe my feelings for kids kids in my definition ends roughly at 25. growing up I had a lot of anger management issues because of kids I was expelled repeatedly for how I coped with it until I was homeschooled when I turned 19 I got a job in a mine way up North so I wouldn't even have to see kids to be more blunt if I found a Genie's lamp my very first wish would be to get rid of kids in their entirety my second wish would be to have all humans come into the world as adults I hate kids I feel anger just thinking about them I literally lived very far removed from society just to avoid them most of you will likely call me the jerk for that alone but I'm not here for that 27 years ago I met a Candace a woman I was hoping to marry when she told me she was pregnant knit I made it clear I had no interest in being a father she wanted to keep the child and ended with my forfeiting All rights I made it clear I had no interest in having a relationship and would actively ignore any attempt of their reaching out to me many times did my son try to reach out to me and I won't pretend it angered me my anger is perfectly rational in my own mind but I respect that others won't feel that way a month ago he reached out to me again and this time I responded I'm honestly not sure how I feel about in regards to having a relationship but now that he's an adult I was ready to be honest with him he predictably asked why I was never in his life so I just told him the truth I hate kids cannot stand them that I would have been a worse father for how much hatred I have towards kids even I have the sense to acknowledge that I would be toxic he said he understood but now I'm getting calls and online messages from his mother and all sorts of people calling me a stain on Humanity among other things I just want to know am I the jerk for leveling with him I don't think I am because he asked for the truth but with all these messages I'm really starting to wonder to be clear I'm not asking am I the jerk for refusing to have a relationship with him I'm asking am I the jerk for being honest about why I think a lot of this comes down to what you have as far as expectations for a father whether or not it's about being honest with the kid why they weren't in their life the fact of the matter is they put themselves in that situation to have a kid op went on and on about how much they hate and despise kids I would think if somebody hated and despised kids that much they would make sure they're not in a position where they could have well took such a direct part in having a kid I'm not saying be celibate but I'm saying if you think kids are the worst thing ever you think that there would have been some protection against that and not to mention anybody up to 25 is a kid to this person I'm still a kid to this person but what do you guys think is op the jerk for being honest about why they weren't in their life let me know what you think in the comments down below our next questions by DV yui am I the jerk I'm turning my kids into picky eaters I and my wife have two kids aged 10 female and eight female my older daughters in gymnastics and my younger daughter does ballet as they have a lot of physical activity they get ravenous when they're done with practice however they usually have school immediately after practice so my wife and I alternate between packing food for them we usually pack a lunch and a breakfast for right after the practice thankfully my kids aren't picky eaters so it's easy to cook for them my wife usually packs sandwiches in a juice box or reheated frozen pizza for them which usually doesn't sustain them enough ipac curries rice salads eggs homemade smoothies Etc all the stuff that keeps them full for longer yesterday my kids told us at dinner that they like the food I pack for them a lot and then they want me to pack food for them every day since mom's food isn't as filling they said that they feel hungry before the second hour and the lunch starts only after the fourth hour they don't like eating at the canteen since the food there is literal crap and it doesn't sustain them either when the kids went to bed my wife got mad at me saying that the kids are becoming picky eaters thanks to me and my elaborate meals am I the jerk so in my opinion I would say no to me this seems like an insecurity Thing by the mom kind of being projected on the dad there's no hiding the fact that the dad packs higher quality or better lunches but does that mean the kids are being picky because they prefer the higher quality stuff the fact of the matter is what op is giving them is a varied healthy choice that is naturally sustaining whereas the mom who apparently makes like grilled cheeses or PB and J's or frozen pizza it's no surprise that comparing a PB and J to curries and homemade salads and smoothies isn't that much of a competition as far as sustaining that fullness I don't think it can be considered as picky eating when it's literally picking the option that makes you feel better our next question is by last concentrate 372 would I be the jerk for suing my boyfriend for not paying my medical bills I 21 year old female have been with my boyfriend 24 year old man male for four years we're both in college and don't have a lot of money altogether because of that I have more money saved up but that's only for college so I don't really even consider that money that I have if that makes sense so I'm deathly allergic to peanuts and it's been this way my whole life I was told even the smallest spec could kill me I've been very careful and in my entire life I've only had to use my EpiPen twice my boyfriend knows this yet he continues to eat peanut products but I just make sure not to kiss him when he has something peanut that day he washes Etc personally I never liked that he wouldn't just stop because I feel like he's putting me in danger but I also couldn't force him to stop either and it has worked for the past four years what happened so he came over into my dorm and we were just hanging out and he kissed me and a couple of minutes later I could feel my throat swelling and my lips getting bigger I instantly knew that I was having an allergic reaction I grabbed my EpiPen and shot it in into my leg and told my boyfriend to take me to the ER even with the EpiPen I was struggling and nearly passing out my boyfriend was really freaking out too once I got to the ER I was taken in and the last thing I remember was passing out on the wheelchair in I woke up and my reaction was down and I was having the side effects of the adrenaline but overall okay I got my phone out and my phone was blown up with apologies on how he forgot he ate a Reese's cup and he was so sorry and the police forgive him once I finally got home and settled down my parent picked me up I told my boyfriend he should be responsible for my medical bill and a new EpiPen the other one my school has and he was telling me he has no money and he can't and that I have more money than him Etc I was pretty peeved off at him because he just nearly killed me and now he won't even take responsibility for my medical bills well word got out to his family and I received rude text from his mom saying it's my allergy so I should have to pay the medical bill and I was the one irresponsible I got mad and texted my boyfriend saying it was dumb to bring his mom into this then proceeded to say if he doesn't I'm going to take him to small claims court because I don't have an extra five thousand dollars to spare for a medical bill he got very upset and I'm pretty sure our relationship is over now I've gotten a lot more text from his mom now and from his sisters and I'm choosing to ignore them my parents agree with me that I should go and do that but I'm just not sure so would I be the jerk this one I am very conflicted about there's really a lot of layers to this because it was a relationship they should know there's a peanut allergy if you have a Reese's you should know that you need to be clear before kissing somebody with a deathly peanut allergy but mistakes do happen op said it worked for four years so far or at least worked for a number of years and at the same time op is willingly in a relationship with somebody that they know consumes peanut products so if they're coming over having spent a lot of time elsewhere maybe it should have been something on both of their minds I would say that I understand where op is coming from as far as wanting to get the money back because the guy whether he meant to or not did put you in that position but I think this might overall be like an everyone sucks here kind of situation where there was a bit of a lack of responsibility from both sides leading up to this I would say that I do think the relationship is probably over this next question is by throwaway again X am I the jerk for making my daughter eat salad while my son gets chicken nuggets I have two kids a seven-year-old son and a nine-year-old daughter every other week I take them to activities in a certain mall and in between we go to a local fast food chain now I do usually have my kids have a healthy diet but for those rather rare occasions I let them choose whatever they want I don't believe going to a fast food place but then restricting their order so they won't enjoy rather unhealthy food makes sense so the kids menu comes with many different options and the menu even has pictures of all the food they go every week so they know my son chose chicken nuggets and fries as the main a drink and a cookie for dessert just what I would have expected my daughter picked the chicken Caesar salad I didn't expect that asked her if she was sure explained it didn't come with fries she loves fries she insisted last time I had the salad and she tried one of the croutons and a piece of chicken and loved them I didn't care too much and a Caesar salad's great it's not like just snacking a few salad leaves like a rabbit their sauce cheese chicken fried chicken and croutons as extras plus she had the ice cream for dessert well the food came we sat down and after taking a few bites she started complaining about the food she saw my son eat his chicken nuggets and dip the fries and sauce she asked him for one he let her try the fries and gave her a nugget as he usually can't finish all them anyways then she decided that instead of the salad she wanted fries now I said no she has to eat the salad or well I wouldn't make her eat it but I wouldn't buy her fries instead my argument is that she chose it she's old enough to make that choice and there's nothing wrong with the salad it looks delicious I even offered to give her some of my meal a baguette sandwich but she wants nuggets and fries now she started throwing a fit I ignored it told her to sit and eat or at least stop screaming now or there would be consequences some old lady heard her and I guess she picked up the it's not fair that he gets nuggies and fries and she has to eat that stupid salad Well the lady went off on me how I'm treating my kids unfairly and how I shouldn't body shame my daughter I told her to get out of my business and shut up she doesn't know what she's talking about note my son is extremely slim for his age he's a very active child and quite tall he's underweight but his doctor said it's nothing to worry worry about as long as he's eating normally it can be that way for kids his age my daughter's on the heavier side of average the doctor is also not much concerned here her weight's within what's okay just on the higher end of that so it might have seemed like it was because my daughter's not as extremely skinny that she didn't get the fried food which is not what happened am I the jerk for making my daughter eat the salad she chose instead of buying her nuggets and fries like her brother I think in this case it is unequivocally not the jerk the fact of the matter is op clarified the kids get their own choice and they clarified extra with the kid is that what you want there's no fries here yada yada yada if there was ever a better teaching tool for a kid to understand they get what they asked for if you want something think hard about it and speak up in the moment that would be a lesson learned any moment like this where the kids can learn some accountability is a great thing as painful as it might be to deal with your kids whining or crying or trying to manipulate you however why won't you do this for me or oh I hate you or you know whatever they can try to do to drum up your sorrow cave in and buy them fries I think it's a great thing that op stuck to their guns and said you chose the salad next time now you'll know that you can choose something you really enjoy and our final pondering is by a-n-s-d-i-n-f-d am I the jerk for telling my HOA to freak off because my son violates their curfew my dumb HOA imposed a 9 45 PM curfew for those under 18 in our HOA homeowners association mostly because of miners drinking and doing drugs in a park and playground I think there may have been some graffiti and vandalism seems pretty reasonable right to screw over everyone else for the actions of a few which by the way has done nothing to stop whoever's doing this the problem actually got worse after the curfew but now whenever kids lose track of time they end up having to spend the night at neighbors houses in fear of getting in trouble with the HOA for breaking curfew this is as freaking stupid as laws banning guns or drugs I'm pretty sure that it's unconstitutional and there's talks of a lawsuit my 17 year old son works at a movie theater and comes home from work often times at midnight or so he's been asked by the HOA board members why he's violating curfew and he explains why they said it doesn't matter and he's getting a warning he told them to go to heck and he doesn't respect them or give a care I got a letter with a fine I responded back and told them I'm not paying I got a visit from an HOA member and he told me I'd be getting fined as long as my son violated curfew I told him to eat poop and close the door I'd like to see them bring this to court they keep coming to me and I just slam the door on them I would definitely say in this situation op is not the jerk anybody including an official HOA should be able to recognize that curfews do have clauses that allow for people with employment situations you can't just go around finding kids for coming back from work now if the situation was that they did have an employment clause and op and their son refused to explain that they're coming back from work maybe because well I don't have to explain where I'm going that would change things up a lot but as op laid it out here if they're just finding you because you're out regardless of the reason like op said the HOA said it doesn't matter why you can't be out that late then op is definitely not the jerk and I do think they have the ability to fight that fine because now I'm not a lawyer but I don't think it would hold up in court because the kids coming back from work there has to be an employment clause and a curfew right am I the jerk for not wanting to go to my sister's wedding my sister's getting married next month my husband and I were both planning on going but when we got the invitation it was only for me when I called my sister and asked about it she said my husband was of course fine to come but she requested that he not be in any fan Family Photos my husband's in a wheelchair I've been married to him for eight years he's been in a wheelchair since he was 16 and my family has always ever known him to be in his chair apparently my sister doesn't want him in any of her wedding photos because she's afraid that he'll take attention away from her because he's different she justifies this by saying when people come over and see our family photo they always ask about him because he's the only one that's in a wheelchair so he stands out she says she wants to be the main focus in her photos I was livid I went off on her and told her she was being a selfish bridezilla I told her we wouldn't be coming I've been getting calls from parents and relatives telling me I need to apologize to my sister because now she's upset I'm angry at them for thinking it's okay to leave my husband out of family photos because of his disability my husband hates being a burden on people and he says he's fine with not being in the photos which made me even angrier because now he feels bad about himself for something I feel is unwarranted am I the jerk if I don't support my sister's big day because of this my husband says we need to be there for family even if he can't be in the photos my family says I need to apologize but I feel like this is an issue I need to fight for am I wrong as always the point of these stories is to judge whether or not OP is a jerk the various classifications are you're the jerk not the jerk everyone sucks here no jerks at all and not enough info in this story I would say op is definitely not the jerk imagine trying to say somebody cannot be in a photo because they're in a wheelchair they don't want your husband to participate in the outward facing sections of the activities just because they're in a wheelchair I agree with OP that this is something that they need to fight for would you agree that that's outrageous and that op is clearly not the jerk let me know what you think in the comments down below our next questions by business selection 24 am I the jerk for not wanting my son's bully to attend his birthday party I 40 year old male have a son nine-year-old male Lucas my ex passed away a year after Lucas was born Lucas is being raised by myself and my husband 41 year old male he's very shy and doesn't socialize a ton in school he does have a great small group of friends his birthday is coming up and he wants to have a small party with friends and classmates we went out and picked up some invitations and he handed them out in school another student that he was friends with Tyler picks on him every day for being shy and having two dads I've met with Tyler's parents to discuss the bullying and they even made comments about my relationship Lucas invites his friends and classmates Tyler's parents call me demanding to know why Tyler didn't receive an invite to the party I explained to her that it was up to Lucas who was invited she called me a few names and demanded for Tyler to receive an invitation tomorrow or she would go to the school I told my husband what happened and he understands that I'm protecting Lucas but should not teach him to exclude people am I the jerk for not wanting my son's bully to attend his birthday party I would definitely say not the jerk the kid's birthday is his birthday and I think one of the best things about having these kinds of birthday parties is being able to choose who you invite this isn't some soccer team thing where everybody gets to participate and gets a trophy for it it's Lucas's birthday party that they deserve to have the way Lucas wants to have it not the jerk our next question is by job and bf stress am I the jerk for getting frustrated with my boyfriend for implying I don't deserve to make the money I make I'm a 28 year old woman and I got really lucky to get the job I have right now I studied electrical and computer engineering in college and job hopped four times each time I switch jobs I negotiated really hard for pay and benefits I'm making a 160 Grand now working remotely and living in a very low cost of living area it's a really nice gig and I recognize I'm extremely lucky to have interests that line up with a super well-paying industry and super lucky to have been able to go to college at all but despite that I feel like I did work to deserve it somewhat College was super demanding and difficult my first few jobs had a grueling schedules and I feel like I'm being paid more for the knowledge I built over all that time but still I have to admit it's pretty cushy I never work over 40 hours a week my co-workers never contact me about work outside of my nine to five I get paid a stupid good amount of money for it and I have two months vacation time so on to the conflict my boyfriend used to work outside the home he's an I.T admin at a large company but because of the pandemic his job became partially remote so we're working out of the same house and I think think he sees how different our jobs and pay are he makes 65 Grand a year and works a lot longer hours he usually starts his day at 7 or 8 A.M and works till 6 or 7 pm he more often has to work weekends to do it stuff and he's on call for emergencies with his personal phone and it seems like they're having emergencies every week so since we've been working from home together he makes comments about it occasionally like must be nice kind of things recently he's gotten more frustrated with me though yesterday I had a bad headache so I told my boss that I was going to be away from my desk for a while since I wasn't feeling well I blocked out a two-hour meeting on my calendar so people wouldn't try and reach me and took a nap my boyfriend saw me napping during work and said they're really paying you to sleep huh I snapped at him saying that they were paying me for my skills and that I didn't care for the way he'd been talking about my job he said something Petty about my skills said napping and shooting the poop on zoom and how that's definitely worth six figures and I got really irritated and said that just because he was underpaid doesn't mean that he could call me overpaid if he was mad he should go take that out on his boss not me he said that I was being ridiculous he'd be in the poop at work if he did that I said maybe he needs to find a better job if his boss isn't ready to talk money he called me privileged and out of touch and said that it isn't that easy to just go find a better job I said that if you don't try you're never going to know he got irritated and stormed out am I the jerk for how I talk to my boyfriend about work I would say Opie is definitely not the jerk in the situation it seems like a chippy Petty jealous thing that the boyfriend's kind of building up over time and I think unfortunately for op it's kind of bubbling over I kind of understand where they're coming from as far as just the jealousy and frustration when you have to work insane hours off the clock or whatever and just make way less than the person you're watching more or less getting some time off to sleep and still being paid for that time but op is right that they're paying them for their skills and their knowledge that they've worked up over all that time definitely not the jerk and I'm a little worried for their relationship because it seems just getting Petty and Chippy this next story is by aita breakfast am I the jerk for purposely avoiding having breakfast with my husband and demanding to know why he was still home I'm five months pregnant for the bulk of my pregnancy I've had issues with keeping food down especially in the morning my husband doesn't understand this and accused me of starving myself and being on a fad diet I try to eat more to get him to stop multiple times but it always caused me to throw up that and the General State of our marriage made me start to intentionally avoid having breakfast with him I know his schedule so it was very easy for me to oversleep until he had left the house or gone into his home office for the day he finally figured out I was faking it because this morning he was waiting in the kitchen for me when I woke up my reaction wasn't the best because I wasn't expecting him to be home so he scared me but I demanded to know why he was still home and told him he had to leave he wouldn't and said he knew what game I was playing and we were going to have breakfast together today we did end up having breakfast together I tried to avoid it but he wouldn't budge and in the end he told me that we would be talking to the doctor about my lack of appetite since I still ate less than a child and from now on there wouldn't be any more oversleeping I plan to continue to oversleep though am I the jerk personally I'm actually going to lean into everyone's sucks here I feel like the husband might have real concerns op's concerns are Justified because the husband's reaction is sharp and demanding and just forceful but I feel like both sides are being oddly rigid about this and the fact that they can't sit down and have a breakfast together without it being some insurmountable stressful thing strikes me as odd between a married couple like to me from both sides it seems like there's just a lack of good communication what do you guys think our next question is by chasing your vision am I the jerk for telling my fiance I'm not willing to lie about how we met to our family and friends I met my fiance online on a dating app we've been together for two years now and got engaged recently however she keeps telling me that during the wedding she wants me to give a speech talking about how I met her while she was working at a coffee shop and I was so attracted to her that it was love at first sight and I immediately asked her to be my girlfriend she says that this makes her look better and will make her look good to her friends if I say that she was so beautiful that I immediately asked her out to clarify she's saying I have to say that I asked to be my girlfriend right at the counter without even having any sort of conversation with her first the only problem is I feel very uncomfortable with this untrue version of events I'm happy to say that she's beautiful and that I really love her personality and that we have a great connection but I'm uncomfortable with this portrayal of myself as some sort of creep who has to complete stranger to be my girlfriend there's other lies that she wants me to go along with too for example I inherited a house for my grandparents but she's asking me to tell all her friends and family that I myself paid for and bought her the house because she's so special after I said no she's been saying that I care more about the opinions of other people than how she feels and that she's reconsidering if she wants to be with someone who isn't on her side do I have a point or does she just to be clear my fiance said that the reason she wants me to do the speech and tell people I bought her a house is so that her friends will Envy her she already told her friends and family those things but it's another thing to want me to actually talk about them and lie about these things she knows that my friends and family know I inherited the house and that we met on a dating app but she says I have to warn them to not say anything and pretend to believe me at the wedding she gave me an ultimatum that we won't get married if I don't agree and hasn't talked to me for days it looks like I'm not the jerk based on responses how can I get her to see the light okay yeah it sounds like op figured it out towards the end of the story but definitely not the jerk it's one thing if you and your partner met in a way that you prefer other people not know of like if you and your partner agree that we met on a dating app or we met on a website or something like that isn't the most flattering story of events I think that's okay to make up a story that you both agree in but when it's one partner saying oh I want you to tell everybody that you adored me like some goddess at first sight that you couldn't think of anything in the world but me and Proclaim it to everybody not that dating app you met me on and they just completely ignore your concerns and feelings that's definitely them being the jerk and you not she's wanting to change the basis of your whole relationship with her just to make her look better with that alone what does that say I would be left thinking is what I did and the situation we're in not good enough and our final question of the day is by an anonymous poster am I the jerk for getting mad at my mom for refusing to let my wife host a single holiday I've been married for six years and my wife and my mom have never really gotten along I don't think my mom's an awful mother-in-law they just don't Vibe and they avoid each other if they can I would describe their relationship as Frosty my mom does respect her boundaries and doesn't undermine us as parents she just keeps a pretty big distance and doesn't interact much my mom hosts all the holidays at her house as does my mother-in-law my wife and I rotate which family we celebrate with and my mom's cool with that and has never pressured us to go to her house recently my wife has expressed that she wants a turn to host and she feels like since we have kids four and two that the moms should hand it over to her she talked to her mom who was very sad but agreed to let my wife have one holiday I talked to my mom since we both do the communication with her own family and my mom said No I gave her my wife's reasons one we have young kids two we have our own house now and our own little family and it's exciting for my wife and three my mom got 20 plus years of Hosting my mom said no again she said if we don't come over we don't have to but she will not be coming to our house she said we can invite my side of the family but she honestly thinks that would be a jerk thing to do I asked if she really was willing to give up her holiday with her grandkids and she said yes I did get frustrated and called her selfish the conversation ended with my mom Mom yelling at me that I'm a hypocrite and that she feels like I expect her to care about my wife more than she's obligated to I asked around and none of my relatives are willing to come but my sister did yell at me and said I'm a bad son and I'm disrespectful for thinking our mom should give up something she cares about I work for my stepdad's company and he's currently not talking to me and I guess my whole extended family is talking bad things about me and they're offended that I thought they would come to my house you know I've been thinking about this one for a minute and I really don't know because the mom has been doing it uh and it's been their tradition and every year they invite their family over to their house to have this Christmas party I think it's completely fine if op and their wife want to start their own tradition or have their own party but the fact of the matter is the mom has been doing it for a long time so you starting your own party and then trying to invite everybody that's always been going to the Mom's party is kind of stepping on the toes is something that's been going on for a long time now the family got seriously Petty and rude and went way over the line for sure but I don't think it's unreasonable for the mom to have the party that they enjoy hosting that they've been doing so for the last 20 years right I don't think op was wrong to ask or have their own party or even try to invite their family I guess if I had to classify it I would say op is the jerk but maybe just for the expectations that they should be able to take over and have all the family at their house and that the mom is supposed to just hand the tradition down what do you guys think do you agree with me let me know am I the jerk for telling my son to get over himself man up and stop publicly calling his wife dead weight my son and his wife are 25 and 27 and I'm 45. they both worked full time until a few months ago when his wife had to stop for reasons that aren't mine to share and my son has become insufferable it recently culminated in me telling him he needed to stop whining about the situation education and man up I love my son very much but he's always online posting about how hard he has to work or going on unprovoked monologues about the stresses of being a family's Soul Breadwinner he does this very openly doesn't even try to hide it from his wife it clearly makes her feel bad or like she's not pulling her weight since she also talks about having to do everything around the house and care for his wife since she's on IR for now I talked to her and she told me she wasn't bothered by anything but him claiming he does everything at home because according to her he doesn't when I pointed everything out to him he said well you and her can't understand what it's like to be the sole income of a household and that I should ask Dad since he could tell you his father was the sole Breadwinner for a long time I work too now though but yes he knows what it's like but he his father or my father were never this dramatic and everyone's heard my husband or dad express any worry over bearing the entire burden these were men they didn't do that they manned up and kept it moving sure they may have felt a little uneasy about it but they didn't dwell on it and they certainly didn't belittle their wife's contributions and my about doing everything at home as well my daughter pointed out he's my son and I shouldn't be standing up for his wife if it means putting him down but I'm just tired of him constantly moaning and groaning in person and online about a situation along with basically saying his wife is not pulling her weight I definitely would say that op is not the jerk in the story for clarification by the way there's kind of grades you give the people who make these stories and questions there's you're the jerk you're not the jerk everyone sucks here there's no jerks here and there's not enough info in this one I would lean not the jerk maybe somewhat not enough info because you don't know what exactly is going on with the wife but I feel like at the very Baseline there's no reason reason that op should be going around saying all these awful things about their wife regardless deal with it like you should in relationships and keep it private work through it with the people who are actually involved in it who enjoys hearing about some guy go oh yeah my wife is so incapable I've got to do everything here at work at home does anybody besides like a therapist who gets paid to listen want to hear that stuff what do you think is op the jerk in the story for saying those things to their son let me know what you think in the comments down below the next question is by Misty eyesduck am I the jerk for just leaving my mom to sit in a hotel for a week after she insulted my family I haven't seen my mom in years I moved out to Los Angeles when I was 16. she cut off all contact with me since that time I've moved on with my life I've met a wonderful man and have two children with him he's Latino so he often speaks Spanish and his family with my children I only speak very little Spanish but it's a non-issue in his family my mom came out out and visited my other brother who lives near he's in a similar situation with his fiancee well my brother's fiance wanted to meet his mother and heal the wounds of the past we repeatedly warned her that our mom is a religious fanatic and regularly watches Fox News her views on Latinos are not good within a few hours of meeting my mom fiance my husband and my two children chat on and off in Spanish my mom flips out saying that they're trying to breed into white culture and destroy it yes breed that's why they Latinos are mating with white people to dilute our Bloodlines at this point I took my kiddos and left they don't need to be around it my mom also got mad at my brother's fiance and called her a nasty s word when trying to reason with my mom so that was that Mom sat in a hotel by herself for the rest of the week my brother and I split the cost neither of us talked to her after that she has a few more issues with mask mandate dates so she refused to go into restaurants and just made herself miserable my grandma and cousins say we're the jerks for leaving our moms stuck in a city because she couldn't afford to change her plane ticket but mom never once tried to meet our family without being racist so I feel like this one is like a softball lobbed up for everybody to collectively just smash that ball out of the park and say not the jerk you do something nice you pay for the hotel room you try to reconnect with somebody that is estranged from you and what do they do they turn around and say you're trying to ruin a bloodline and all these awful things that quite frankly like op said doesn't need to get in the kids heads they don't need to think about that stuff this is somebody that just lives on a totally different conscious plane from everybody else there's no connecting with that you don't owe them anything you're paying for the hotel they can enjoy it have a nice week our next questions by 3hjaf am I the jerk for telling a woman with a newborn a dog can give birth so there's this woman I work with who gave birth two months ago and she's constantly bragging about it I'm not kidding you when I say she talks about her pregnancy experience and her newborn every single day the other day she was once again talking about how many hours she was in labor and how hard it is being a mom and I jokingly said you know a dog can give birth too she didn't find it funny at all and she'd given me that cold shoulder for the past couple of days I kind of feel bad about it but I just got tired of it I'm a woman too if that makes it any better am I a jerk this one is definitely I feel like a petty one but I do feel like op is the jerk in the situation the fact of the matter is the woman is a newborn mom and going through those struggles and learning how it's like I couldn't even imagine and they're at work two months after giving birth I'm sure it's a lot to handle for this lady it's probably their coping mechanism to get through it just talking about it like what op said was ingest but they also said they're kind of tired of it I don't know I feel like it's a light one but I feel like op is the jerk do you agree with me let me know this next question is by exotic teaching 2576 am I the jerk for telling my husband our daughter won't be around my mother-in-law unless she shuts her mouth I'm facing some very weird issues with my mother-in-law that I never thought I'd deal with my husband is red-haired slash Ginger and his mom has some soft ring curls his dad is a ginger as well so it's genetics my one-year-old daughter is also a ginger I never once thought of a reason why my daughter should feel uncomfortable with her hair color and curls until my mother-in-law made it an issue my mother-in-law hates Ginger hair she always tried to convince my husband his skin is empty and his hair is ugly that happened since childhood my husband grew up with a lot of self-hate which he overcame once his inner circle of friends tried to lift him up and encourage him to feel confident now my husband loves his looks my mother-in-law seems to do the same thing she did to my husband when she's around my daughter she says stuff like how unlucky she is she got that hair how she's gonna spend hundreds in her life to dye her hair how the curls are ugly and not easily tamed her freckles and all that my husband has told her multiple times to stop doing that because her daughter will internalize all these thoughts and hate her appearance for no reason mother-in-law throws tantrums claiming my husband won't let her have an opinion every time it happens my husband tries to put a stop to it but it never works one of the times she visited she brought a plastic wig to see what my daughter would look like with brown hair that's where I spoke up and said the joke is over now enough you either cut that stuff out or get out she Guild me telling me how I should be grateful she's looking out for my daughter so she'll avoid being bullied she threw one of the usual Tantrums about being entitled to her opinion and left once she left I told my husband and that his mom will not be allowed around our kids again unless she shuts the freak up and stops trying to force insecurities on my kid I want my kid to love herself growing up and if her grandma causes her insecurities instead of self-love she has no business being around my husband said that his mom is indeed being ridiculous but I'm taking it too far suggesting she doesn't see the kid am I the jerk definitely not the jerk and one thing I was struggling with all throughout the story is op's mother-in-law said they don't like ginger people why did they get with and marry a ginger man if they hate it so much the whole logic that this mother-in-law has is like so hypocritical your spouse and your child are ginger but you despise it like to High Heavens the bottom line no kid needs to have those insecurities forced upon them Opie is not a jerk for demanding somebody that can't keep to themselves being raised in a situation and being able to develop the Mind where you're being taught self-love is the best versus somebody like oh hate this about yourself hate this about yourself this thing that thing it's obviously going to be better for the kid this next question is by puzzle headed car 1801 am I the jerk for refusing to pay a missed appointment fee I had an appointment to get my hair cut and colored last week they have a policy which I was never made aware of that canceling an appointment with less than 24 hours notice is a 25 fee when I arrived The Stylist was sick he had snot running down his face and was hacking and coughing everywhere he said it was just a cold that went to his lungs and now he has bronchitis he indicated that it definitely wasn't kovid because he already had that and it felt different but he wasn't even tested I told him I wasn't comfortable with letting him cut my hair when he was this sick he laughed at me and coughed at me so I packed up and went to leave he and the manager told me I owed 25 dollars if I canceled I told them flat out no way you want 25 you can sue me for it and walked out I left a scathing review online and have literally told everyone I know about my negative experience I'm actually friends with The Stylist husband so it's lots of mutual friends and clients I'm talking about this with the thing that bothered me the most was when he laughed and coughed at me I really don't care if it is covid or the flu or a cold I don't want it and feel he shouldn't be working so close to people when he is sick the manager called me to insist on the fee but I'm sticking to my guns no fee will be paid unless they sue me for it period in the meantime I'll never do business with them again let's put this into perspective they don't know op's conditions Opie could have been very immunocompromised just the fact that Opie was in the building when that happened could have been enough to put them in the ICU do you think op's a jerk for somebody that's snotting and coughing being the reason they cancel on the spot I don't they're not the jerk to me what I would do is keep doing what op is doing put the name of the company out there the branch out there tell anybody you can and continue every time the manager or whoever tries to get a hold of you tell them that the more they go on about this the more I'm going to talk about your six nodding employee trying to give me a haircut and then you demanding I pay for that if they're gonna be stubborn about this I say you use the power of modern social media and drum up enough outrage over how ridiculous the story is I'd be willing to bet that you could probably get some kind of local news station to want to cover a story like that and our final question of the day is by an anonymous poster am I the jerk for not letting my mother-in-law babysit my daughter my daughter is breastfed exclusively and my mother-in-law knows this when I bring my daughter to my mother-in-law's house I bring enough breast milk that she'll have plenty with all the bottles and equipment for her I've recently found out she's only feeding my daughter formula because she believes breast milk is dirty and has been throwing out all my breast milk she said to my face breast milk is dirty because mothers who have sex pollute their own bodies she has never liked me and I've tried to get along with her but my husband just keeps his head down and refuses to speak up in my defense I've hired a babysitter and I won't let my mother-in-law babysit my daughter and my husband and I have been fighting because she's crying to him and he doesn't see it as a big deal how she's fed I feel like my family is getting split apart I'm gritting my teeth and letting my mother-in-law walk all over me because of my husband but this is outrageous to me because it should be my choice how I feed my baby but am I wrong for not letting her babysit her anymore because I don't trust her to follow how I want to feed my baby so what kind of logic does this mother-in-law have breast milk is dirty I'm sorry but do you know how humankind got to this point do you understand how logically most likely that mother-in-law was fed as a baby our ancestors weren't like okay I'm gonna go forage for formula mothers who have sex pollute their own body what I don't understand any of this logic so that said in my opinion I definitely think op is not the jerk and what I'm failing to see is how is this husband so complacent with everything do they not see the pure unadulterated issue not Dimension imagine being a mother and going through the effort of pumping all that breast milk and having it ready just to come home and find out oh I threw it all away don't worry like even if the Mother-in-law wasn't using it op could have still used it if I was one of the parents in the situation I would be frustrated I would be livid and i would support the decision for the mother-in-law to not babysit the daughter because that's just ridiculous am I the jerk for forcing my daughter to find her own way to a wedding because of what she was wearing my wife and I have three daughters 19 24 and 28. our youngest Jill just started a community college this year while our two oldest have moved away to start their careers Jill still lives with my wife and I as she's attending college locally and this saves her money this past weekend we were invited to my nieces and goddaughter's wedding a couple hours away the dress code was semi-formal so men were expected to wear suits and women in dresses as we were getting ready to leave Jill was taking her sweet time getting ready and I was kind of nagging at her to get going she had been out late the night before with friends and I'm sure she was feeling the effects of that when she was finally ready to go she was wearing some kind of black spaghetti strap halter top thing with leggings I told her that's not an appropriate outfit for her cousin's wedding and that she needs to change into something else she told me she doesn't have anything else to wear and that I don't get to police what she's wearing I told her that judging by the amount of dirty clothes on her floor and in her closet she clearly has other options she just didn't plan ahead enough to figure something out I told her it was disrespectful to her cousin the bride to wear something too revealing and tacky to their wedding Jill called me a jerk and said no one's going to care what she's wearing and if people focus on her clothes more than the bride that's their problem not hers I told her in that case how she's getting to the wedding is her problem not mine she asked what that meant and I told her if that's what she wants to wear she's going to have to find her own way to the wedding because I'm not about to arrive with my daughter looking like she's about to hit a club at 2AM instead of a tender cousin's wedding my wife chimed in at this point and told us both to calm down she told me I was being overbearing but also told Jill that she did not agree with her choice of attire either and reminded her that this is a semi-formal event she told Jill she would help her find a different option that would be better suited for this Jill scoffed at that and went to her room and closed the door I went and knocked and told her she has 15 minutes to be ready or wherever leaving without her she yelled at me that I was being a jerk so I went outside to wait and after 20 minutes I went inside and Jill was still in her room I told my wife that I'm leaving and she can either come with me now or her and Jill can figure out their own plans my wife asked what Jill's supposed to do and I said she can take an Uber for all I care at this point my wife reluctantly left with me and I could tell she felt guilty about the whole thing Jill ended up not coming to the wedding and both her and my wife blame me for it I don't think I was the jerk here though so as always with these stories the point is to judge whether or not OP is being the jerk the categories are you're the jerk not the jerk everyone sucks here no jerks at all or not enough info so to me in this story I would personally say I don't think LP is the jerk you can definitely make the argument about controlling what a woman wears or whatever but in this specific case this is about a wedding with a proper dress code and this is op's daughter so it would be directly reflective of their family probably op how it comes off when she shows up dressed completely ignoring the dress code what do you think is op the jerk in the story let me know in the comments down below our next story is by throwaway 8365 am I the jerk for not letting my daughter go to her homecoming dance my daughter's 14 in a freshman in high school she came home one day after being at her mother's for a week we split custody and wrote Homecoming on our calendar and starts talking about all the plans she's made with her best friend to go to homecoming together homecoming week happened to fall on a week she was with me she starts raving to my wife and I about the dresser mom took her to buy and that she's matching with her friend she had even bought a ticket already I was furious with her entitlement to just make all these plans without asking me first I can admit it's not just her fault but her mother's as well for not clearing it with me before buying her the dress and ticket in fact I wouldn't put it past her and her mother to have bought the dress and ticket before asking in order to force me into letting her go I want to teach her a lesson about asking first and not assuming that I'm just going to let her do whatever she wants and that she can't manipulate people in order to get her way so I told her that if she'd asked first I'd have been happy to have let her go to homecoming dance but since she decided to make plans and buy stuff before even asking if she could go I wasn't going to let her she cried and told me that you only get one freshman homecoming and I told her maybe she should have thought about that I said all homecomings are the same anyway she has three more opportunities to go and she's not missing much she sulked in her room for the rest of the day and didn't talk much I tried to comfort her but my wife said not to because I'd be teaching her that I'll give her my attention if she acts upset and cries I want to comfort her anyway because I didn't think she was acting but she rejected me that infuriated me even more so I left her in her room to cry alone her mother was Furious when she found out and demanded that I pay her back the money she spent on the dress and homecoming ticket I said absolutely not because she didn't clear it with me before buying those things so it's her own fault however she contacted her attorney who contacted mine and long story short I got to sit down with my wife and our family therapist for a painstaking conversation about communication it's now long after homecoming and my daughter's pretty much back to normal but she's still angry with me for not letting her go to that dance I stand firmly by my decision to not let her go but was I the jerk to me the answer is resoundingly yes Opie is really concocting this own fake storyline in their head singing they're out to get me they're out to pull one over on me and has an unhealthy obsession over being the sole decider whether or not somebody can and can't do something to me I think even though they're 14. if it's a homecoming dance they want to go to it's a no-brainer to let your kid go to those kinds of social events right like yeah she didn't ask about it but she came and she was like oh I got this awesome dress I'm gonna go with my friends we have these plans you're seriously going to listen to your kid tell you how excited they are and how planned they are for this awesome moment and go yeah but because you didn't ask me first you're not getting to do any of that I just think it's ridiculous you can still teach that lesson about them asking first but still let the kid enjoy the things kids want to do while they can it's a school dance kids love to go to those right they wanted to dress up hang out with friends have the social time I see no reason to prevent a kid from having that social awesome experience their only freshman homecoming because they didn't ask you first it's just egotistical and trolling to me what do you guys think let me know the next questions by bench virtual am I the jerk for telling my husband that he emasculates himself for context I was raised by my single father he raised me to be totally self-serving where I learned not only to cook clean Etc but to be my own handyman this has led to me being very independent especially around my house my husband on the other hand was raised to expect everything done for him and never really learned any self-sustaining skills but also raised to believe that the male is always right fast forward to last week I needed to buy a new line trimmer as my Old Faithful finally gave up on life I was busy with the kids and my husband said he would go pick it up for me I told him which one I wanted and what brand all my power tools are he said he understood but when he came back he had purchased one from a different brand when I asked about it he said he thought it was better and it was also cheaper than the one I wanted this annoyed me but I thought whatever be tried move on it wasn't until I looked at it I realized he hadn't brought the battery pack to go with it when I asked he told me I could just use the batteries for my other tools I tried to explain to him that this wasn't possible and why but he didn't want a bar of it a few moments later he said okay my brothers are coming over and we can go back to the hardware store I thought we would be either exchanging it or buying the battery pack but I was so wrong when we got there he walked straight up to the Tool Shack and asked the tool specialist to explain to me how my Ryobi batteries would work perfectly fine in my new Makita line trimmer well let's just say that this didn't go well The Tool Guy sided with me and explained when you commit to a tool brand you stay with it due to a few aspects about the batteries he was embarrassed but quickly did the exchange when finding out the battery slash charger pack cost more than the line trimmer itself when we got home it started he was yelling at me about how I embarrassed him how I'm constantly emasculating him and how I should be a good wife and just stick to doing things appropriate for females well this got to me and I snapped I replied with the only person that's emasculating you is yourself it's not my fault you never learned to be what you call a man and I walked off it's been a week now when he only speaks to me through the kids it's got me thinking am I the jerk I would say op is definitely not the jerk in the situation not only do I think op's husband has an unrealistic outlook on how things should be to me it sounds a bit 1950s and whatever he considered emasculating him he literally only did himself the fact alone that he's only talking to Opie through the kids is more than enough to make you see how immature he's being and how ridiculous he's being with this op did nothing wrong trying to get a new Ryobi line trimmer this whole thing was perpetuated by the husband not the jerk our next story is by reluctant to please am I the jerk for telling my husband that if he wants me to work then you'll have to split chores my husband a five months basically wants me to be a 50s housewife but also to contribute financially basically he sees all things inside the home as my job but also expects me to pull my weight financially he talked about accelerated retirement more shared income Etc I think this is nonsense why exactly is he Mr equality up until the housework it's like the guys who ask you out then expect you to pay like what the freak you asked me he then told me that I didn't even thank him for helping with the dishes I was not sure why he uses help when he lives here too and he told me it was your my job I honestly don't even know what to say I always wanted to be a housewife even if I never said it but I did envision myself being a housewife who simultaneously expected to contribute financially I finally got sick of it a couple days ago when he was upset because I made him wait for dinner since I had to stay late at work I decided that he'd either do the chores I assigned him on a chore chart or if he'd let me quit my job so that I could go fulfill this female's role in the traditional relationship he wants he says I can't because we don't have kids and I need to pull my weight financially he seems so sure of himself though I don't even know what to think he said that I wanted to be a housewife and this was the life of a modern housewife not sure what that's supposed to mean but whatever I think the fact alone that op had to ask are they the jerk in the situation is surprising you have a husband who's working doesn't expect to do any of the household chores expects you to do all of the household chores and work a job and contribute financially like op said this is a 1950s housewife situation and they call it 1950s for a reason that kind of living is in the past I really think we're beyond that at this point I'm not gonna tell op what to do with their relationship but if it was me I'd be looking for an out not the jerk in my book this next question is by Ed O Martini am I the jerk for ruining Christmas by not taking kindly to my brother-in-law's joke my brother-in-law's front porch is poorly made and not the code he's been replacing pieces of it for years a rotted board here a handrail there yesterday I dropped off a package at their house while they were out on my way down I went through one of the stairs basically the end of the board was rotted out and it no longer had any support on one side so it basically just turned into a seesaw my left leg went straight down and hit the ground so I was kind of Trapped in a weird position as I tumbled forward I scraped up my leg with some decent gouges from the splintered wood the end result is that my leg was cut and bleeding my pants were torn and I strained something in my upper back and shoulder not life-threatening to be sure I sent them a text when it happened an hour or two later I get a text that he and my sister-in-law couldn't stop laughing when they checked their doorbell cam I responded it wouldn't have been as funny if it was either of their elderly parents one of their kids or any of the delivery people who bring stuff to their home-based business at no point did he apologize or offer to pay for my pants I did get a you okay text with the Emoji with a headbandage today I get a how are you feeling text I said a little sore but nothing that would stop me from helping you tear down that porch and rebuilding it safely you know with proper stringers risers and shreds his response I'll be replacing the board today expect a bill in your mailbox lumbering cheap my response was good when you stop by bring your Ensure insurance info so I can make a claim later today my wife gets a call from her brother asking if I was actually going to file a lawsuit or Insurance claim and how he led his homeowner's insurance laughs because money was tight when my wife told them that we weren't actually going to file a lawsuit he got even madder because he was really stressed out for a couple of hours and how he doesn't want us to come by on Christmas their family was hosting this year because we might stub our toe and sue wife wants me to attempt to mend fences so as to not ruin Christmas I suggested that she and I talk about it on Wednesday so we can get some perspective am I the jerk I don't think Opie's The Jerk in the situation poor brother-in-law was all stressed out for a couple hours worrying about the insurance claims while op was dealing with an actual injury a cut up leg they went over dropped something off and because their house was poorly maintained their brother-in-law's porch gave way and honestly Ops lucky that it was just pants torn in scrapes with something like that where the board gave way and their leg went down into the hole and touched the ground they're lucky they didn't tear a tendon or a ligament or break their leg on that and after that all they get are two texts and a joke about expect a bill in your mailbox Lumber ain't cheap yeah Lumber ain't cheap but you sure are fix your dang porch am I the jerk for not putting my husband's children in my will my husband Jack and I married later in life we were both in our 50s it was a second marriage for both of us he has three children I don't have any biological children but I'm still very close to my former stepson Thomas that I helped raise we were both very well off financially Jack more than me Jack owned his own business and was up front that he intended that business to be left to his children we signed a prenup before our wedding that basically said we get to each key but we brought into the marriage we kept our finances separate though we both contributed to a joint account for the household expenses which we split 50 50. we did our wheels at this time Jack left everything to his children and I left mind to Thomas we were both aware of what the other had done and we were fine with it Jack's business went under about four years ago he was desperate to keep the business going and poured all his savings into it the business had been his grandfathers and then his fathers and he was determined to be able to hand it down to his children he ended up losing almost everything he was completely devastated standard of living wise not much changed except that I'm paying a hundred percent of the household expenses I love him and I'm fine with this I had a health scare about a month ago where I realized that if I died Jack would be left with nothing as my will gives everything I own to Thomas I told Jack that I was planning to change my will my plan was to put a third of my assets into a trust for Thomas's children he has two currently that both call me Nana a third directly to Thomas and a third in trust for a jack I would set it up so that Jack would receive a generous monthly check but that after he died the Assets in the trust would go to Thomas I did it that way because I want Jack taken care of while he's alive but after that I wanted to go to Thomas not Jack's kids Jack is furious that his children aren't going to receive anything he kept pointing out that I have three stepchildren not just one former one why are his kids getting nothing and Thomas everything I should say that by the time we got together Jack's children were grown one already had a child and another was married other than the occasional holiday I never lived with Jack's kids while he's not mine biologically Thomas is my son in every way that counts while I get along with Jack's kids we're not close at all Jax threatening to leave me over this he keeps saying that if I don't care about his kids that means I don't care about him I've told them that's nonsense and that I don't respond well to ultimatums we had a plan to leave our assets separately before we were ever married but now that he doesn't have money suddenly he wants me to leave my money to his kids am I the jerk for not wanting to personally I think op is not the jerk first and foremost I believe your will should be completely up to you to decide however it possibly gets distributed whether anybody possibly deserves that money or not just by like morals or ethics I think it's still reserved to be your choice where that money and assets go second of all I completely agree the dynamic is totally different when you actually raised one of the kids and they were literally your son for every meaning of the word it's different than the fully adult kids your new partner already had that Dynamic and that relationship will just never be there do you guys think that in this situation Opie should leave money for Jack's kids let me know in the comments down below our next stories by throwaway issues R.A am I the jerk for refusing to sign anything while my eyes are blindfolded ever since I got out of the hospital for chronic problems my husband's been introducing me to some games every evening one game used to be about doing things while my eyes are blindfolded involving puzzles Rubik's Cubes shaped objects Etc we take turns to do it just for entertainment just a couple of days ago he's been trying to get me to sign papers while wearing a blindfold I refuse to do it because he never lets me take a look at what I'm signing neither before or after he says that he was just trying to see if I could leave the same signature every time I sign but I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable I told him I don't want to play this game unless and until he shows me the papers first he said never mind then and stopped bringing it up last night he tried to convince me to give it a try and even volunteer to go first I asked if he was going to show me what I was going to sign and he made a face and said no it's the rules and I should respect them I refused and he kept on about how I kept acting worried and suspicious for no reason he said I clearly don't trust him and he was hurt by finding that out now after everything we've been through we had an argument and I told him to drop it and not bring it up again period he was mad despite saying it was no big deal he was obviously upset with me and kept talking about how I don't trust him and that I was out of line to assume or suspect anything from him like this I might be paranoid but I couldn't help it I don't think I was the jerk to him after he stood by my side when my own family didn't even visit it's one thing if like you're doing it for fun on some blank construction paper I guess but the fact that this guy has like basically admitting to there being actual papers that you're signing because in any other world if you played this game they would say oh sure it's just this blank paper I would start sleeping with my eyes open around this person I would put the blindfold on go to write it and just before I'm about to press the pen to the paper snap the blindfold off and try to find what the heck they want me to sign shoot even signing on blank papers is probably a terrible idea this next story is by striped sweater0410 am I the jerk for calling my brother's girlfriend tubby I'm 15 year old female my 18 year old male brother brings his girlfriend 18 year old female to our house almost every day after school I go to tutoring three days a week and on these days that I come home later I frequently find things in my room have been moved and sometimes even missing my brother almost never comes into my room so I know it's not him so I suspect that it's his girlfriend I told him to tell his girlfriend not to touch my stuff and he seemed offended that I would accuse her my best friend had given me a box of chocolate for my birthday and I remember very clearly putting it in the drawer next to my desk the next day I had tutoring and when I got home I saw that it was gone I of course assumed that it was the girlfriend there was literally no one else in our house I confronted her directly this time and asked if she could please return what she took and not to go into my room again she became super defensive and said she didn't know what I was talking about I asked if she could dump out the contents of her bag and she started crying which made my brother yell at me finally she admitted to taking the chocolate and she pulled it out of her bag and threw it across the floor it managed to slide underneath the stairs railing and exploded on the first floor I asked her about the other stuff that went missing and she admitted to all of it I said stay away from my room tubby which caused her to absolutely ball like I'd never seen before from anyone her age my boyfriend then told me off and said I should apologize to her I said why should I apologize to a thief and I went into my room she hasn't come over since that happened I don't know what's going on exactly but I don't really care my brother said she's really insecure and has low selfish steam she's quite overweight and that what I said was completely uncalled for am I the jerk so while in this situation I think I would personally feel bad after the fact for unknowingly attacking an insecurity of theirs and making them feel bad about themselves I still would have an overwhelming feeling of they deserved it I think op's not the jerk anybody getting stuff stolen from their room especially treats that they were saving for themselves that they were looking forward to would probably do just about the same thing in fact a lot of people would say what op did was rather restrained this next story is by trees 50956 am I the jerk for making my stepson walk on his engagement night the title sounds bad but hear me out my stepson Rowan 23 just got engaged to his fiancee she comes from a highly conservative family and they both won't live together till after marriage they're both on great terms and I have to say her parents are a bit much so the engagement party was held at restaurant I drove my wife Rowan and his best friend Jack there because Rowan's car needed some work things went quite well party ended and everyone went home on the way back I had to stop by the store so I could grab something for our 16 year old son Rowan Jack and I waited in the car Rowan and Jack kept laughing then this young lady walked towards us because her car was parked next to mine in the parking lot Rowan kept trying to speak to her while she was trying to load her stuff in her car Ian Jack kept throwing words at her and she seemed annoyed Jack then said hey he just wants to look at that butt then Rowan said let me see a jiggle baby I was appalled I told them both to knock it off but then Rowan sarcastically replied relax I was just giving her a compliment but she doesn't get many of those often the lady got in her car and I started arguing with him about his behavior and shamed him for acting like this on his own engagement night he argued back saying something about my car and I lost it I told him to get out immediately Jack got involved so I kicked him out too my wife got back and started engaging in the argument saying I can't let her son walk home from his engagement party I replied that her son can't be harassing other women on the way back from his engagement party but she kept defending him I told her to either stay or get in the car she did and I drove off Rowan didn't come home and my wife gave me heck for it we later found out that he was staying at one of his guy friends place from what I understand he's pissed at me in refusing to see me my wife said it was my fault I escalated the situation over some stupid crap boys his age do all the time I told her he can't do this while in my car but she took it as I was holding it over his head she said I should have never have made him walk the night of his engagement and demanded that I apologized to him was I The Jerk for kicking him and his friend out of the car on his engagement night somebody needs to post that gif of Drake getting up out of his clapping this poor lady at night is just trying to put stuff in their car and these couple of jerks are catcalling and harassing her I don't care who it is it could be the pope it's not acceptable they don't get a pass for it because it's their engagement night and in fact that's kind of shocking that they would do it on their engagement night like if there was one night to even like hold back that kind of cat calling BS our next story is by throwaway zero one one three eight one am I the jerk for not giving my switch to a relative for free I 25 year old female have a Nintendo switch in a few games a week ago my cousin's family came over for a vacation in the U.S they have kids who are about eight and five they asked if they can play on my switch I said sure and picked out an age-appropriate game for them about an hour later they gave it back and said thank you later that night they were excitedly talking about the switch and how I was really nice my cousin's wife spoke out and asked if I can give them the switch for free I looked at her like she's crazy and told her heck no she got offended and told me I'm too old to be playing on it which I responded with you're too old to be begging for video games she got even more offended and started yelling at me she refuses to talk to me my cousin's on my side but my mom's chastising me about how I should keep peace I'm sorry but in what world would you ever give up your 300 plus dollar console this isn't some Christmas gift or birthday gift that you're just tossing their way this is something you paid for yourself with your own hard-earned money that you obviously want for yourself it's like if I went to that person's house and watched something really nice on their TV and at the very end saying wow that TV's so nice can I have it for free it's like no of course not Opie's definitely not the jerk our next story is by annual customer seven am I the jerk for not punishing my daughter for ruining her stepfather's briefcase I 34 year old male have a 10 year old daughter Ava with my ex-wife we were together until she was seven we each got half custody at that time but it currently is every other weekend at her mother's house she remarried to someone I'll call Rob who has two sons who he clearly favors over our daughter who he seems to hate I've expressed concern at the way he seems to feel about her but have been shut down last weekend robbing my ex went on a weekend trip where they had to drive for three plus hours each way on the way back Ava was sitting in the third row of their Minivan and got sick she ended up throwing up all over Rob's new fancy briefcase that probably cost two hundred dollars he was mad because they'd given her something to throw up in and she purposely threw up on his briefcase he said that he didn't think she should be able to see her horse or take lessons until it would pay for a new briefcase for him and after I picked her up texted me that her mother boards a horse at the same bar and Ava goes to and so she saw her and was very set that I wasn't honoring the agreement I didn't think it was reasonable and I didn't agree to co-parent with some idiot who hates my child so I have no reason to enforce his punishments her mother says I'm undermining her Authority and being a jerk am I the jerk for not punishing her as the child's Soul father and one half of custody you have absolutely every right to parent your child the way you see fit as long as it's within legal means I say Opie's not the jerk and personally kids are going to throw up sometimes ten-year-olds make mistakes sometimes I'm sorry about your briefcase but what are you gonna do make them work it off I think it's pretty disgusting that they think a 10 year old is targeting them by throwing up on their briefcase like as if a 10 year old girl on the verge of throwing up was having some secondary plan in the back of their mind to ruin their stepfather's briefcase and not just focused on I don't know how bad they're feeling I think the dude needs to get over himself imagine a jerk for telling Mom she'll no longer see wife or baby so me and my wife have a newborn who is breastfed my wife hates confrontation she never stands up for herself she won't argue with anyone ever I mean ever she will let you walk all over her and then apologize to you it used to be infuriating because she's the sweetest soul and she just lets people say what they want and she doesn't deserve it but after talking there's a good reason behind it so we're working together how to fix this well one thing was she always felt afraid not because she didn't want to but because she knew it caused the confrontation breastfeeding anywhere but the house or in a bathroom or closet and so we'll keep a blanket it took a lot of explaining but unless she's uncomfortable with breastfeeding just anywhere there's no reason to hide in a bathroom well we're at my mother's house I don't have the best relationship with her but my wife thinks it's important and I enjoy talking to my dad so we were over with the baby chatting with my father and my mother cooking as they were talking she started feeding baby was eating and she had a blanket covering her slightly dad has six kids he couldn't give less of a crap he looked away for a moment so she could get situated and engaged back in conversation without any issue my mother comes in gasps and goes on a rant she said that it's disgusting and if she was to do that she should have gone home especially in front of her husband who apparently looks uncomfortable and it's rude to do when you know people around you don't like it Dad Cut Her Off saying to keep him out of it and feeding a baby wasn't his issue she ignored continued ranting saying that she needed to respect herself more and don't ever do that in her house again I stopped her I said that she needed to get lost and get over herself she had six kids who she undoubtedly did the same thing with and this was just her way of taking her anger out but she's not going to do it on her I said that she was being a hypocritical jerk and that this is the last time she's seeing my wife or baby this happened once and is not going to happen again then she said that she was just in a bad mood and she's so sorry she took it out on her and she's welcome to do whatever she needs to I told her she should have thought about that before then went to my wife who mid-rant left the bathroom in his sterics but didn't want to interrupt the baby's eating we sat in the bathroom for a little while until the baby was done she stopped crying we left my dad said I was being more reasonable than he would have mom sent me tons of messages families telling me that I was being dramatic and that it wasn't that serious and I was being entirely unreasonable and if my wife was that hurt by it she needed to grow thicker skin she didn't even actually have an issue she was just being mean I think I was right to do what I did but am I the jerk if you ask me if you have a mom over at your house who has a newborn baby there should be some kind of expectation that there's probably going to be a feeding session that goes on if the mom is totally uncomfortable you know that's something that could be communicated and worked on maybe maybe op's wife could go to another room for a bit or something but clearly in this situation the dad had no issue and nobody had any issue and the mom was making an argument just because do you think in a situation like this that op's Mom would have any right to be able to ask op's wife to move to a different room while they were feeding the baby or would you guys say that's just kind of unreasonable or maybe even idiotic the minute what you guys think in the comments down below our next story is from internship OS am I the jerk for telling my roommate his autism isn't my problem 19 year old male I took a summer internship program there's five of us in the house Adam 19 to 25 I don't know has been difficult to live with he said he's autistic and is on the same internship as me Adam refuses to pick up after himself and tells everyone it's because he hates touching gross things so he doesn't do any trash or anything he considers gross last week he tried to get me in trouble at work because he said I was discriminating against him at home our HR told him that it's not his problem my roommates and I told Adam he has to chip in with bills and cleaning and Adam refused we stopped doing any of his chores and piling his dirty dishes and trash outside of his bedroom door he took a picture and showed both HR again and our landlord his mother showed up flew out to clean up after him she said she's staying for the rest of the summer and we told the landlord and he said she couldn't and she asked to pay we got into a huge fight with Adam's mom and she took him home Adam's still responsible for his summer lease and the landlord threatened to put an eviction notice on Adam's credit report Adam's mom called the internship and tried to get me fired and try to have us removed from the least because we didn't give reasonable accommodations to her son I don't think we're jerks and we expected that Adam had to do his chores and it wasn't our fault that he broke the lease his mom keeps saying she's going to sue us the landlord and our company for not making reasonable accommodations for Adam but we didn't bully him and just wanted him to do his dishes and pick up his trash admittedly I feel kind of bad for Adam in a way because very clearly I I'm assuming this was going to be an experiment and it very clearly did not work at all but yeah I think Opie's not The Jerk It's not their responsibility to play caretaker for this person who's just paying for an accommodation for the room it's just simply grossly unfair to expect that Opie and the other roommates are going to totally pick up the slack and do extra because Adam struggles this next story is from Kane throwaway ACC am I the jerk for yelling at my bro brother after he insulted my wife so my wife is different than my family she did not grow up the way I grew up she's still breaking old habits my wife was homeless for a really long time with both of her brothers she took care of them for a long time while her parents were God knows where she was 18 couldn't get in the system and was terrified of bringing her brothers there so they would hide behind dumpsters surprisingly a lot of dumpsters are gated and if they aren't they have quite a bit of room in the back and size of it due to this she would find a way to get food give it to her brothers and would only eat when she had to and when she did it was horrendously little amounts she doesn't look down on the fact that they were homeless and rather that she got them out of that situation by herself now that you got the reason for this here's the problem my family has a lake house to go to for Summers this is the first summer married everyone introduced so why not my wife rarely see he's my brother because I rarely see my brother while everyone was eating we don't sit around the table like some would we all kind of scatter now bringing in what I've explained before she still has a regular eating habits of course we're working through it but I can't force her to eat and if I did it wouldn't last opposed to if she did it herself so I don't unless I see it going on for too long again she usually eats after everyone else does well when we all went to bed she felt hungry and decided to go to The Pantry I heard commotion from the bedroom and it was my brother raising his voice at her accusing her of stealing from the pantry stealing what food that our parents the owners of the place said she's welcome to okay I came out asked what's happening my wife stays still and my brother flat out says you're so blind bro can't you see she's stealing from you now she's stealing from us too he Cut Her Off she was trying to explain that she would never not only that but we keep the money separate she was set on keeping it that way he laughed and said you know what that's what you get for marrying someone who has a criminal record for what stealing stealing what food I yelled and said that he needed to stop acting like a rich boy because I could have sworn him himself had a criminal record for stealing too only he was stealing for craps and giggles and she was stealing because she was hungry but I'm sure his wife would love to hear about that since I guess she's a fool too for dating someone as delusional as him oh and of course with a criminal record we got our stuff in left of course I got messages from him got messages from my mom saying I was immature and I acted like a child she said I ruined the vacation my dad's the only one who thinks I was in the right am I the jerk really don't think I am I mean who would just sit there and let someone say that I think op is definitely not the jerk I think everything op did here was totally justifiable and the brother sounds like a real piece of work that can't understand other people having gone through different realities upbringings experiences they make no effort to connect with op's wife and they have no conception of what it would be like to go through what she went through No Remorse no concern for them just wants to point fingers and put them down almost essentially saying that they're irredeemable because they struggled throughout life by the way if you're enjoying these stories make sure to hit those like And subscribe buttons down below so you never miss any of my daily videos every single video has awesome stories like our next story from an anonymous poster am I the jerk for telling my friend that he's a creep and women have every right to not like him so my friend 18 year old male let's call him Steve has been my friend for about a year now Steve goes on a lot of dates and I I started to notice that he never goes on a second date or even contacts the person again I was always confused because from the way he acts with me and Friends he seems like a super nice and likable guy and if it isn't him it's still a little odd for every girl he's been on a date with to have had something wrong about them to where it never works out well last night I finally found out he went on a date with a close friend of mine 19 year old female he didn't know about our friendship after their date my friend let's call her K called me to tell me about an awful first date she just had she basically said that he started off the date flirting super hard and making inappropriate jokes after the date which was a very quick one he immediately asked her to take her home she refused but he insisted and he kept asking until she finally left and drove home but not straight home she realized he was following her and had to drive to her brother's house until he finally drove away way he also harassed her through texts shortly after she arrived home about an hour after that call I get another call this time from Steve guess what he wanted to complain about his awful date basically he told me that he was taking a new route home in some stupid witch claimed he was following her I asked him well what happened during dinner and he told me that it was completely unrelated he went on a whole rant about these hateful messages she sent I asked him well can I see the messages and he got super defensive and told me no and to take his word at this point I'm annoyed and a little mad so I tell him that he's a literal creep and that this is probably normal behavior from him and that any women he acted like this to had every right to not like them apparently my words in tone hurt his feelings because he started crying and saying he has no one and just wants someone to like him I started to feel bad so am I the joke work or is he just playing victim and I'm slowly falling for it also I'm meeting with my friend to hopefully contact Steve's past dates because this honestly seems like a problem little side note I already have two of Steve's date stories one being my friend and the other being a random girl he went out with both stories show similar if not same behavior from Steve oh I think Gopi is definitely not the jerks Eve is a bona fide creeper this dude is following girls home who clearly have no interest in him that alone is enough it is this dude is insane and then you call him out on it they're probably crying not because they feel bad because nobody wants them or wants to connect with them it's probably because they feel bad they got caught or like op suggested they're just trying to create some kind of emotional confusion where they can appear like they're the victim this next story is from boriat am I the jerk for telling my stay-at-home mom wife to get a job my wife and I have two kids seven-year-old female and two-year-old male my wife's been a stay-at-home mom for seven years now I worked two jobs and had to get another job over the weekends to cover the extra bills after our seven-year-old had some health issues before my third job I did the housework over the weekends and now I don't do anything around the house anymore my wife said that she'll also stop doing the housework so that I can see how much she actually does I told her I know she does all the housework and I respect that she also does the child care most of it the past two weeks my wife stopped doing any housework at all no laundry cooking grocery shopping Etc two days ago I asked her why she hasn't been doing any work and she said she wants a housekeeper and we should put the two-year-old male to kindergarten so that she can have time for herself I told her we could only afford that if she gets a really good job which she won't because she's been out of her field for so long she she said she's done being my maid I told her I work from 9am to 5pm and then 6 p.m to 2 A.M every weekday and now also 7 A.M to 4 P.M on the weekend I told her if she gets a job not even a very high paying one I can quit one of my three jobs and take care of the kids too so that she doesn't have to be a stay-at-home mom she called me a jerk for suggesting she doesn't do enough already and told me to just find more work and be a real provider am I the jerk I don't think op's the jerk and if you ask me doesn't sound like much of a partner sounds more like a selfish lead weight just ready to sink the whole family in living conditions of your family because I don't know maybe they've just gotten too used to the lazy life not doing anything they want to just be pampered and do absolutely nothing I just feel bad for op because how do you fix something like that our next story is from throwaway Rai am I the jerk for not defending my bio mom I female 27 I'm a black woman adopted into an Indian family important I was adopted young as my bio mom didn't want any children when someone in my family got married we all went and it was a big party beautiful Bridal jewelry dresses and so many colors I loved it though marriage wasn't my end goal I knew that when I had in my wedding it would be big and colorful for more important information my bio mother got in contact with my adopted mom three years ago asking to meet me and I did I slowly allowed her back into my life and though my mom and dad adopted didn't care much for her they tried their best for me and that brings us to now I'm getting married soon and we've been planning for a beautiful wedding my fiance and I are very excited and so are my parents in the early stages I noticed my mom wasn't feeling a lot of the things we were doing but I try to keep her involved Mom do you want me to teach you how to drape basari I think you'd like it my clothes are just fine I've tried so hard to share the culture I grew up with with her but she just seemed so uncomfortable before the incident I gifted her some gold earrings from when I went to India years back and I found one on the floor and I don't know where the other went but I never brought it up since I figured it was an honest mistake a couple weeks ago me and my mom adopted were discussing my wedding dress in Bridal jewelry and when I mentioned the dress being red my mom cut in she was confused so I showed her a picture and my mom adopted asked what the problem was ignoring my adopted mom she turns to me and says I just always pictured my daughter in white for her wedding not all this I explained to her that it was normal but she continued she talked down the dress and everything especially the Bridesmaids being too flamed up and taking the the spotlight I tried suggesting a second small wedding or even a white wedding shoot just so she can hang it up but she wasn't having it my mom said that I needed to stop trying to play dress-up my adopted mom then said she couldn't come and I gently agreed my bio mom won't speak to me now and I feel like a big jerk I feel like if I had educated her better she wouldn't have been so blindsided I don't want her to feel like I'm abandoning her I just want her to be more considerate of the culture I was raised with I know I can't ask my parents since they're biased so I'll ask here am I the jerk how could I have handled this differently I mean unless you want to go and give them crazy amounts of prep before getting to this point which frankly I'm not convinced would have actually have made a difference or not I think the end result was probably going to end up being pretty inevitable I mean I just wish the best for op and I hope that despite everything it doesn't outright ruin their relationship with their bio mom and that they do have the wedding of their dreams our next story is from Hank's free am I the jerk for not helping my ex-wife let me start this off by saying I 45 year old male was an awful person in my 30s I did drugs I was selfish I wrecked my marriage and was horrible towards my then wife at the end of our marriage she got pregnant but she miscarried and that was what really ended the marriage after the divorce I went to rehab got clean and have now been sober for seven years I got a good job and rented an apartment that I still live in I even managed to save up some money my life is really good now I have an amazing fiance my ex moved on and remarried but never managed to have kids she's 39 now and is trying to get pregnant via IVF she recently contacted me and asked me to pay for the IVF treatment because she says the miscarriage she had caused her so many problems that she will never get pregnant naturally she has a minimum wage job and is paying off a lot of debt so is her husband and they can't afford IVF now I told her I'll have to talk to my fiance about it but I don't feel comfortable paying for her IVF I talked to my fiance she said that's a ridiculous request I called my ex and told her I won't be paying for the IVF she called me selfish and said it's my fault that she can't get pregnant anymore because the miscarriage was my fault anyway am I the jerk I think op's not the jerk would you guys agree with me that even when they were together and having that miscarriage if that did affect things that ultimately it's not op's responsibility whether they can or can't have kids later on in life at all let me know what you guys think in the comments down below this next story is from Alaskan bull worm 1000 am I the jerk for refusing to give my little cousin my stuffed animal I 20 year old female was gifted did an adorable stuffed avocado for my boyfriend near the time he had asked me to officially be his girlfriend I've cherished it ever since even if it was something as simple as a small stuffed animal yesterday my two little cousins ten-year-old male and seven-year-old female spent the night and I allowed them to take to my room in the morning when I entered my room I saw that my seven-year-old cousin had dug through my stuff and found my stuffed avocado she had instantly loved it and was playing with it I just reminded her that it's not good to go through people's things but I told her it was okay to play with it she asked if she could have it and I told her sorry that she couldn't and it was mine she became a little whiny but I left her in the room and allowed her to play with it when my uncles came to pick up my cousins my little cousin still had the avocado in her hand and was showing my uncle he kept insisting that she wanted it and was persistent about it my uncle then came to me and had to ask me if she can have it I told him sorry but no and didn't explain any further as I felt like I didn't need to my little cousin then began to cry and whine about it I told her it's okay because she had many other toys at home and this one small thing is mine so she can't have it my uncle had a surprised almost disappointed look on his face but left with my little cousins as she continued to cry I refused to let my guard down about it but I'm not sure because it's a very small possession I'm no one to judge someone else's parenting skills but I've always felt my uncle greatly enabled my little cousin when he would judge my parents parenting skills prior to having kids of his own so am I the jerk I think op is definitely not the jerk I think regardless of what anybody thinks of your possession from an outsider's perspective you know they think it's just some dumb little stuffed avocado if you have legitimate sentimental value in whatever it is that you own anything no matter how little or how big could be in value valuable to you and having something like that that reminds you of a good moment with somebody that you care about a lot an item that immortalizes a moment that you've cherished ever since you got it I don't think you have to explain to anybody why you deserve to keep that this next story is from okay internal 969 am I the jerk for telling my brother you would need to come to my wedding alone if he wants an invitation my brother's family is messy he's been married three times as five kids between the first two marriages divorced wife number three a couple of years ago and is currently dating a known alcoholic who still drinks his first marriage ended because my brother decided he wanted to be with someone else that relationship broke up wife number two came along not long after they were married for four years had three kids one after the other but ultimately she couldn't deal with my brother's oldest kids not wanting her around and treating her badly that marriage ended more brutally than his first more than a decade later he was married to wife number three when the past came back up and as kids from the second marriage started hating their older siblings for breaking up the family and not being remorseful about it the older kids said that they hadn't liked the younger kid's mom and had no regrets about pushing her out of their lives they cannot be in the same room today without fighting between this and the kids of the second marriage disliking the third wife that marriage ended the older kid said it was funny how the younger ones didn't like their dad's wife and that was okay but they were horrible for not liking the younger sibling's mom my brother tries to make everyone get along but they don't want to now he's dating someone who's shown up drunk to so many things and has actually caused a couple of scenes because of this I don't want them near my wedding not my nieces and nephews and not the new girlfriend I brought this to my brother after he mentioned coming to my wedding he told me at 55 he should be able to bring whoever he wants and I should stop treating him like a child I told him it wasn't me treating him like a child but about me protecting my wedding that I would only invite him if he comes alone he believes I'm a jerk for putting a rule on him like this is he right I think Opie's not the jerk in this situation you're having a wedding and you know that a certain subset of your family is going to be Cutthroat and ruthless no matter what you do history says that these people will not get along if they're in the same spot and frankly a girlfriend who shows up and crashes events you also just don't want to take that risk on your wedding so while the brother may take it personally I don't think Opie's a jerk for having that stipulation this next story is from weekly character 9202 am I the jerk for telling my husband to quit calling me while I'm at work I'm 31 year old female an esthetician and I do facials I had a 90-minute one today it's her most expensive of two hundred dollars I keep my phone on do not disturb in the drawer so I can check in between clients if anyone was trying to get a hold of me or tell me something everyone that's important knows when I work and they know to text if they do call they get the hint after the first try when it goes to voicemail today my husband kept calling me repeatedly and it started vibrating it was during the facial massage and the lady looked right at me I didn't say anything since it was quiet and that's supposed to be relaxing so I finished up and at the end I apologized I said it was on do not disturb but they must have kept calling she said she didn't even hear it she seemed happy with everything dipped 20 percent well after I saw it was my husband and I got pissed he's done this before he knows to call the front desk if it's an emergency and text anything else and I'll see it in between clients it was 12 30. you know I was working until one he had a tire appointment at 2 and was trying to tell me to to take the around route home because there's a highway back up okay he could have texted that and I would have seen it when I'm leaving so I blew up at him and told him to quit doing this and I told him the client was mad even though she wasn't and he said well she can just stay mad I told him to quit it or I'll get fired and he said so you don't want to work anyways I only work a little bit and it's just a small side income he pays for everything and I don't have to work I complain a lot but I do like it usually he told me if I didn't want it to ring then keep it in another room extremely inconvenient to check in between clients especially to know if something's life or death and it's my problem not his anyways I just learned I can turn it off so repeat calls don't ring either so I did that otherwise I was just going to block him during work shifts so am I the jerk oh I definitely think Ops not the jerk here you've expressed a very very clear limitation that anybody should be able to respect your own husband is not respecting a very simple ask you don't want to be called during your work shift as long as it's not an emergency and they're not afraid to say right to your face no I'm gonna keep doing it just a total lack of respect and our final story of the day is from Mojo will 95 am I the jerk for telling my stepdaughter she can be whatever she wants on Halloween so I 27 year old female have the honor to be the stepmother of a sweet imaginative and wonderful little girl six her father and I get her every other weekend at the moment and she lives with her mother and stepdad the rest of the time we alternate holidays every year I.E she was at her mom's last year for Halloween so she'll be with us this year one day about two weeks ago I was driving her back to our house and the topic of what she wants to be for Halloween came up this little girl had a 10-year plan for what she wants to dress us up as she stole me for a while now that she wants to be Ariel from The Little Mermaid this year I told her that absolutely we can do that we'll cut to yesterday I'm driving her to our house after picking her up from her mom's house and the topic of Halloween comes up again it's her favorite holiday as well as my own she all of a sudden says Jacob not the real name of stepdad says that Halloween's for scary things only not cute things that going as a mermaid was Dumb and she said her mom agreed luckily we were at a red light so I looked back at her she was clearly upset and was starting to tear up I was getting real upset with her this is not the first time that her other parents have told her something was dumb or stupid for a liking I told her that Halloween is the time of year when you can be anything you want that's the point I told her that her idea was not stupid and that she'll be with us this year so if she wants to go as Ariel or a barrel we don't care and she's gonna be cute no matter what she thought that going as a barrel was a funny idea and it made her laugh however she still thinks that going as a mermaid is stupid and is now trying to think of something scary my heart hurts for her but am I the jerk for going against her mother's feelings about Halloween I'm always afraid of overstepping boundaries in that apartment my husband says not to worry because she'll be with us so she can pick whatever I think Opie's not the jerk here let's put it this way it's one thing to decide by yourself to switch what school the daughter goes to or that the daughter is now going to follow a very specific diet that only you have set or even maybe something like you decided to get her hair cut in a drastically different way doing that kind of stuff would probably make you the jerk without getting any kind of clarification from the mom but encouraging her to dress up as whatever she wants to be for Halloween I don't see how you can be the jerk for that and I agree with OP it's kind of sad to see the stepdad and Mom's reaction I'd rather see them encouraging the creativity and the dreams of being Ariel for Halloween am I the jerk for giving my nephews money for a field trip my brother and his wife have five kids and now they're struggling financially like a lot of families I only have two and my ex and I make a lot of money plus we're very tight with it my two boys go to the same summer camp as their two oldest boys when I dropped off my kids this morning I ran into my nephews and spoke to them the camp was going on a field trip to an amusement park I noticed both boys had a lunch I thought that was particular because other kids brought cash to buy lunch there and for souvenirs I asked them about it thinking my brother didn't know they said their parents had money I was like screw that I told them that I'd buy their lunch for forty dollars each of course they took the offer so I went to the ATM and gave their counselor forty dollars for each boy for lunch or whatever when I picked up my sons I asked my nephews what they did and what they bought in a having the cash made a massive difference 30 minutes ago my brother texted me to tell me I should have ran the idea by him first he said he felt like a horrible parent I told him that 80 isn't a lot of money to me that's like two hours of overtime he should move on the boys are 8 and 11. I don't think gopi's the jerk in the situation I could understand why the brother might feel insecure or maybe worried that the kids are going to think less of them or judge them because they didn't give money for that lunch but all that op was doing was looking out for their relatives and making sure that they had a better experience than they otherwise would have do you think the father worrying that the kids might judge them for not giving money in the situation is a legitimate enough concern or should they just be grateful for op giving their kids that money let me know what you guys think in the comments down below our next story is from an anonymous poster am I the jerk for telling my stepsister that no one cares that she's tired and to help with dinner I have a stepsister man daddy who I've never gotten along with my Mom married her dad when we were 12 and 13. my dad was pretty wealthy or at least comparatively so I got a lot of material things that Maddie didn't mostly clothes nicer car fancier prom dress and it made Maddie insane I wasn't showing off but I feel like life isn't fair and I have a right to accept gifts it hurt Maddie's self-esteem to the point that she became Sullen depressed and wouldn't talk to any of us we're currently adults and Maddie as I'd say definitely a millionaire she threw herself into school and work and was determined she was going to have more than me I'm middle class and don't really care I mean sometimes I get a little jealous of her clothes and jewelry but to me nothing is worth working like she does Maddie is obsessed with things to the point it seems really toxic she specifically said she doesn't want kids because she can't imagine taking the time off work to give birth and heal I don't care if she doesn't want kids but the reasoning was a bit what the freak for me we both went to our parents place for dinner last night and Maddie was clearly tired she could hardly keep her eyes open and was falling asleep in her husband's arms we were both supposed to be helping with dinner but her dad said to let her sleep it didn't seem fair so I tried to wake her up Maddie yelled at me that she physically couldn't make dinner and to leave her alone I told her that wasn't an excuse and no one cares if she's tired she does this crap to herself and it's ridiculous it isn't like she needs to work these hours her husband began yelling that we're the reason she needs to work these hours and how could her dad marry my mom and let her grow up around all of my things and that since it's our fault we should let her sleep her dad agreed and told me to leave her alone and Maddie ended up crying she screamed at me that I'm mean and it doesn't take three people to make dinner anyway I said that isn't the point and no one cares about her sobs story about not having designer clothes as a kid I think Opie is the jerk in the situation to be honest even if you totally agreed on the soul condition that both of you go there to help with making the dinner the fact of the matter is they're too tired they're falling asleep so either be pissed off at them and basically kick them out of there so they're not around anymore or just get over it and excuse them and accept that they're tired be maybe grumpy about it but is it really worth it taking it out on them I think it was just totally uncalled for it sounds to me like even though Maddie worked all their lives to surpass things from their childhood op is equally just as still stuck in that childhood mindset our next story is from a naughty Mouse e27 am I the jerk for calling up my boyfriend's daughter for lying I live with my boyfriend and his three Elementary school-aged children who are here 50 of the time we all have a pretty great relationship although it was a bit of a transition for me as I don't have kids of my own despite this we've adjusted to our roles relatively well and while I don't consider myself a parent they have an involved mother I am a trusted adult that helps them when needed plays with them upholds the rules in our home Etc the middle child's nine and she's a sweet kid and we love each other though she has some behavior issues that her parents have put her in therapy for this morning everyone was downstairs they're all early risers but I'm not while I was upstairs in our room in bed I was awake for a while and I knew my boyfriend was making breakfast I make a work call and was talking for no more than five minutes when I got a call on my other phone from my boyfriend sounding really irritated saying what are you doing are you going to come down or not I said I was on a phone call but that I would be down in a little bit a minute later he comes up the stairs demanding to know what was going on and why I wasn't coming down I muted my call and said I was working and why was he so angry he said that he had sent his middle child nine-year-old female up to get me to tell me that breakfast was ready multiple times but that she kept saying that I told her I was working and wasn't going to come down which never happened she had never opened the door or even knocked I said that never happened she never spoke to me or came to get me that morning I could hear her arguing on the other side of the door to her dad and I repeated that she did not come upstairs at all so what she told him was not true eventually I went downstairs for breakfast and she was sitting at a table quiet and stolen am I the jerk for calling out a nine-year-old for lying I don't care if this was a nine month old that could talk and lie I don't care if it was a nine-year-old and I don't care if it was a 90 year old if they're lying especially in a way that intentionally throws you under the bus I don't think you could ever be the jerk for calling out the truth and frankly for the development of that child I would rather you call out their lies like that I think it's invaluable for a nine-year-old to learn right away just being truthful or doing what you're asked to do is way better than lying about it I also think it's worth setting them down and talking about why they felt the need to lie whether it was just more convenient for them or if they're afraid of some kind of lashing out from somebody either from Annoying somebody or not delivering the results that one parent expected maybe which would be getting op to actually come downstairs our next story is from El Wally it might have a jerk for not sharing my Wi-Fi password with my mom and younger brother I'm male 19 had lost access to Wi-Fi along with the rest of my family consisting of mom female 43 and younger siblings male 18 and female 10. during the pandemic my father The Breadwinner who doesn't live with us decided to stop paying for Wi-Fi he claimed it was due to slow business from pandemic restrictions I tried protesting but my father argued that I had a job this only paid the minimum wage by the way the family went without Wi-Fi for about a week until I got fed up I talked to my brother and mom who both had a job about splitting the cost of a Wi-Fi subscription they refused with my brother saying he could get Wi-Fi at work my mom telling me she didn't need it because of her unlimited mobile data keep in mind that I begged her to share her data through a hot spot during my Wi-Fi list week but always replied you'll Slow Me Down frustrated I reluctantly apply to my ISP for the cheapest package available determined to not share my password with them with the exception of my helpless Kid Sister a couple days after the Wi-Fi router was installed my mom came asking me for the password to which I simply responded saying I thought you didn't need it she complained that her mobile data didn't work that well sometimes so I proposed she paid half the bill in exchange for my Wi-Fi key she got Furious telling me I don't pay rent and bills and that I'm under her roof I reminded her that she doesn't pay these bills either it's my dad desperate to get back at me she decided that I can't use her TV in the living room anymore and hid the remote I'll admit at first I was annoyed but quickly got over it considering she Hogs the TV most of the time anyway my mom now ignores me calls me selfish and doesn't share anything with me anymore so am I the jerk I think op is definitely not the jerk they went around to everybody else that would possibly use this wi-fi offered a very reasonable solution which is splitting the cost of a bill that everybody would be using and they all denied it they all turned it down so for you to go to them say hey can you split this with me they say no so you go and stomach the bill yourself and for them to come asking for Access anyways well no are you gonna help cover it if not then Opie has every right not to share our next story is from prior presentation 98 am I the for not allowing my friend to stay with me after they were kicked out of their house I 18 year old female live alone in a two-bedroom house my job requires I work 60 hours every week anything above 60 is considered overtime 60 hours is still over time but no one calls it that since it's mandatory I would also like to add that I work graveyard 5 30 pm to 6 a.m that being said I'm tired once I get home and rarely have enough energy to be around people when I do see people I always go out and meet them at their homes or around the city never and I mean never have I had people come to my house other than my significant other no one knows where I live and I'd like to keep it that way I wouldn't say I'm paranoid I just don't like the idea of people knowing where I live it's nothing personal against anyone I like my privacy not even my parents or siblings know where I live and they respect me enough not to ask the situation began a week ago when my friend 20 year old female of about three years called while I was at work around 2 am and asked if I would let them stay with me because her dad kicked them out for a reason they wouldn't tell me I told them no I said hello is everything all right why are you calling me at two in the morning shouldn't you be asleep she says hi could I ask you a huge favor I say what is it she says can I stay with you for a while two months Max my dad kicked me out and you're the first person to answer me all night I say no you may not what she says are you serious I say completely after that she said I was a jerk for leaving her on the street and that I'm probably lying about having a house since no one's been to it she has a boyfriend and siblings who also have houses I'm not understanding why she couldn't go to one of them or to a shelter for the night since well it was night and people would probably answer her in the morning her boyfriend later that Monday let me know she's going to be staying with him and apologize for her calling me while at work work her friends contacted me through social media none of whom I've ever met or really even know the names of telling me I was a jerk and that I should have swallowed my pride and let her stay with me our shared friends have sided mostly with me with the exception of two even if I didn't have a problem with people being in my house she's a personal trainer that only does video meets it's basically the same as following a YouTube workout video except it's live and one-on-one I sleep during the day and I'm a live sleeper can you see how her working out and talking to people at home would be a problem for me so am I the jerk for not wavering on my privacy boundaries while people might be a little curious about it op being so overly restrictive about their privacy boundaries you know not letting anybody even family know where they live well that's one thing I don't think you're the jerk for not letting somebody crash at your house for two months I think if you're somebody that lets that happen you are a total Saint and more power to you and bless you for doing that but I also don't think you should ever feel obligated to have to do something like that even as much as it would help a friend out I mean obviously if anything happened to you you wouldn't be able to rely on that person to bail you out you know considering you didn't do anything for them but again I don't think you're a jerk for not giving up your house this next story is from bitter possible 3930 would I be the jerk for telling my brother-in-law and his wife that we won't be doing any more kid sitting during the summer I 40 year old male and my wife 37 year old female agreed to Kid Sid for her brother and his wife for two weekends while they go to Europe the kids are five-year-old male and two-year-old male a few days ago we get a food detailed email for procedures for the week how this email also details how both kids behaviors have been getting worse so needless to say it's going to be a ton of work and we'll be giving up two weekends his wife has already started to ask my wife about babysitting during the week when he isn't in daycare and they're working from home she really doesn't want to do it because she's busy with work and the kind of screwed her last summer however she's nervous about upsetting her brother would I be the jerk if I put my foot down and told them no that I nor her will watch them anymore this summer I don't think Opie would be a jerk for putting your foot down and saying no to them asking if you want to babysit their kids if they want to go and pull their relative card or leaving them high and dry or whatever then they're just being jerks and trying to emotionally manipulate you you should never have to feel bad or feel like you have to explain yourself for saying no to babysitting somebody else's kids this next story is from language ill-8971 am I the jerk for demanding that my girlfriend pay for herself when I cook background been dating for two months my girlfriend 23 Works a full-time job and lives at home with her mom in other words no lack of funds me 25 live student with a part-time job and a relatively expensive apartment in other words pretty slim budget problem since I'm the one with a private apartment we spend most of our time together here and then it's natural that she eats my food I have no problem with cooking a little bit of extra food since I think most of the food I cook is delicious but cheap I also regularly drive her around since she doesn't have a car or license the other night I hosted a dinner party with some friends and made pizza along with a wine for the guests the next day I asked everyone to pay for their share my girlfriend was the only one to object she said that it wasn't fitting to ask money of a partner and was extra upset that I hadn't informed her previously I got mad since I don't want to pay for company even if it is gifts and I feel not appreciated since I regularly cook for her and drive her around without asking for compensation so Reddit am I the jerk here I'm gonna say Opie is the jerk only for not expressing that they would want them to pay their share beforehand inviting them all over having them over cooking for them no questions asked feeding them and then after the fact going to them and trying to recoup money from them just seems like an extremely backwards and possibly deceitful practice op said that they're actually in Sweden so maybe the cultural practices are a little different there but overall that's how I feel personally what do you guys think is Opie The Jerk here our next story is from successful Pace 8837 am I the jerk for tearing the family apart over a few harmless comments I 22 year old female got engaged in January to my boyfriend 26 year old male of four years and I've never had much of a problem with his mother before I'd like to emphasize that she's a very kind person and has always had a lot of patience for me and my less than ideal family situation including teaching me how to cook and other life things recently though she's begun to send me and other family members text messages about wanting grandchildren her first text message to me was I'm so glad my fiance is marrying a girl with such light skin you'll have such pretty babies and most of her other texts are all variations of my skin and future grandchildren it made me uncomfortable but I wasn't really sure how to address it without crossing the line so I'll be honest I just left it alone my mother-in-law has also apparently made comments to my younger sister-in-law that she wants a light granddaughter and that we my fiance and me will keep trying until we get one it's gotten to the point of obsession to where she'd text my fiance every day asking when we'll have kids even though we originally planned to wait at least a few more years she's never mentioned my skin or lightness to him as far as I know it all came to a head last night when mother-in-law was talking with her sister about us having kids and my older sister-in-law asked why she was so sure we were having a light baby and my mother-in-law replied well op so pale it would be impossible if she didn't my older sister-in-law got upset and made a comment about her obsession with being white and stormed out the dinner just got kind of ended a while after that and I guess my younger sister-in-law talked to my fiancee because this morning he asked them to tell him what was going on I just showed him the texts and he got into a fight with his mom and stepdad about her comments and apparently this isn't the first time she's made statements like this around my older sister-in-law now the whole family is fighting one side's calling my fiance my older sister and I sensitive while the others are glad someone's finally said something I also got a text from my mother-in-law's sister saying we're selfish and awful for ripping the family apart over a few harmless comments to top it all off I'm pregnant and I'm not even sure if I should say anything even though I'd planned on letting everyone everyone know at dinner so I guess am I are we the jerks I don't think Opie's The Jerk at all and let's be real has anybody ever enjoyed that whole when's my baby having a child I just can't wait for a grandchild of my own and to be extremely clear the whole thing about light skin is just really really weird and inappropriate and even if it is something that they personally are hoping for that's the kind of thing they need to keep to themselves and shut up about this next story is from dangerous Star Seeker am I the jerk for copying my co-worker's outfit I female 22 work at a Walgreens part-time my co-worker Anna not her real name has a great sense of style I love her outfits and one time she came to work a little more dressed up because she had a date later I told her I loved her outfit and I asked her where she bought her boots pants shirts sweater and jewelry she told me where she got everything and I went to the same stores I Unfortunately they didn't have my size in the stores I could only order them online I decided to buy similar pieces at stores I regularly shop at to recreate the look I wore the outfit on a date and ended up running into Anna when I went to work the next day she gave me heck for copying her style I admitted I copied her but I didn't see what the big deal was I would never wear the outfit in front of her or at work I also had different pieces on I brought up how she told me where to buy all the pieces and she said she thought I was just making conversation Anna said if she knew I was actually going to buy them she wouldn't have told me where to go I apologize to her and told her I had no intention of stealing her style I'm a T-shirt and jeans person but I really like that outfit she wore and I wanted it Anna told me to return the pieces and I told her no I agreed to never wear those pieces in front of her or at work she told me that it wasn't enough and I had to return in the clothes and promise to never copy her again if I didn't she would tell all our co-workers I beat her to it and showed them a picture of myself in the outfit with my boyfriend they all took my side since the clothes looked so different on me Anna's style is cute delicate and highly feminine I bought similar pieces in different colors and cuts to flatter my body so I gave off a tomboy look everyone agreed what I did was okay Anna was really upset and is giving everyone the silent treatment personally I think she was overreacting because it was just one outfit I could be the jerk because I did copier I think Ops definitely not the jerk here I think if you see a style and an outfit that you really like why wouldn't you be able to recreate that look and wear it yourself this co-worker just reeks of selfishness and maybe jealousy maybe they're worried that op pulled it off better than they did maybe they don't feel special enough because op he wore a similar outfit and especially to op's credit they didn't wear it anywhere that it would actually affect Anna at all so I think their co-workers just off the deep end and needs to get over themselves our next story is from Reddit monkey student am I the jerk for skipping my only sister's wedding I'm 22 year old female my sister 24 year old female asked me to be her maid of honor a few months ago since then she's not included me in any of the wedding planning told me she doesn't want a bachelorette party and decided to do her wedding in a different country where her fiance is from she's staying in that country I won't stay where since she might see this post for a couple of months before the wedding to help furnish the house plan the wedding Etc my sister asked me to spend about a month and a half in that country to help her plan wedding stuff I was able to come here for that month since I just graduated college and have some time before I start work however since I've gotten here my sister's gone out every single day with her fiancee okay let's call him Max and his family and has not invited me out except once when she was wedding dress shopping I had a conversation with her about how I'm in a foreign country so I'm not comfortable going out alone when I know nobody here also the only reason I'm here is for her she called me inconsiderate and selfish saying I should be prioritizing her needs since the wedding is in a month we've been arguing every day about a random or Petty things since I've been here the last straw was when I went out to buy fabric for my dress for the wedding we'd agreed on a color and getting the dress custom made once I got the fabric my sister unsurprisingly did not want to come dress shopping with me because she was with Max's family when I got home she was upset that I got the fabric for the dress without her despite me telling her before going she said she thought I'd wait to buy it when we were together mind you I'm paying for my dress and she didn't offer to pay for it at any point we got past that conversation and started discussing the design of the dress my sister got upset at the design I chose because it wasn't modest enough for her Max's conservative family it was an off-shoulder maxi dress with literally no cleavage showing not a bodycon A-line with a slit up to the knee she told me since it's her wedding and she wants to go for a certain look in her pictures that she should pick the style of my dress I agreed with the condition that I have to like the design too the fabric getting the dress made would cost around four hundred dollars so I want to be able to wear this dress again at some point she picked out a very ugly long sleeve dress that looks very much like mother of the bride dresses when I kept telling her this wasn't my style and I wouldn't feel comfortable in it she said I was being inconsiderate and told me she'd wear a sparkly red cupcake down to my wedding my wedding is next year I ended the conversation by telling her that I'm not catering my style to Max's family and I'm not dropping 400 on a dress I don't even like she said if I don't care about what she wants then I shouldn't come to the wedding am I the jerk for still getting the dress I want made I am her only sister and maid of honor I don't think Opie's The Jerk here it sounds to me like their sisters being quite unreasonable with it I don't know if there's gonna be any saving this and Opie shouldn't be bullied into spending 400 on something that they're never going to wear again I just hope the best for op in their wedding down the line our next story is from nutmeg 63 am I the jerk for not Consulting my boyfriend before accepting male clients I work at a pretty well-known three-letter waxing establishment and was hired to perform services to both men and women recently my book was going to be open to perform the male Brazilian which means more money with a niche clientele because a lot of my co-workers don't feel comfortable I personally don't care here's where I need judgment I accept it because again I don't care I'd rather not work on anyone because they deal with some interesting nether worlds region but it's part of the job that I accepted my boyfriend's upset that I didn't discuss with him before accepting and felt disrespected and angry that I would be willing to work with and touch other men this was mainly resolved where I won't be performing any services on men but I'm still curious am I the jerk actually unless Ops given any reason to be concerned about Opie doing this job on male clients I don't think they're The Jerk it might be nice to give them a heads up or explain but I don't think Opie's The Jerk for not outright mentioning it because there's nothing actually inappropriate going on they're just doing a job with no other pretense to it and our final story of the days from Eternal abyss0809 would I be the jerk If I decline a child's party at my home my son Josh and his partner of four years Sheila just parted ways Sheila's been accusing my son of cheating she's been living with us for the entirety of their relationship due to lockdowns Josh has been staying in his place of work along with some of the employees and is rarely home when Sheila told me about her suspicion I told her that she could go and stay with my son in his accommodations since his accompany allows wives to stay there so she could confirm if her suspicions are correct she declined saying she's afraid of what she might find out I said she shouldn't be afraid and that as she just gets one bit of proof I would personally whoop my son's butt in his workplace and would ban him from ever coming home to us and disown him Sheila still declined but I was made aware that she's been maligning my son and the supposed other woman on social media to the point that both have been harassed and the woman in question was contemplating on filing a case against Sheila Sheila was the one who ended the relationship and moved out of our house with no warning she just came home from work one day with some of her co-workers and gathered all of her belongings and took the baby without a word I cried for a week that was three months ago and my son stopped giving financial support because Sheila's keeping the child away from him he was anticipating that Sheila would file a case and showed up so he could ask the court for time to see and be with his child at least once or twice a week or a maximum of four to five days in a month to which Sheila is vehemently against she's only allowing one day of visitation on the condition that my son should be the one to go to their place where her whole family lives to visit the child and not take the child anywhere else they're set to resume mediation next week just this morning Sheila called me to ask if she could use my home which has a fairly large garden for the child's upcoming first birthday she said she thinks our place is the best venue since my 85 year old mom who can't walk without assistance and has comorbidities can attack attend the set event which she won't be able to do if the event is held elsewhere she also said that she would be inviting most of her co-workers and Friends some of whom have left hurtful comments on her post hence the need for a big space my daughter heard our entire conversation was on loudspeakers since I was busy cooking and was bewildered why I would ever consider Sheila's request to think that since she left Sheila has never contacted any of us nor agree to let my mom see her great-grandchild during my mom's birthday a week ago where I invited her and her parents to come she may be right in saying that Sheila's only using my mom as an excuse to avoid paying for a venue so would I be the jerk if I declined Sheila's request considering that the parties for my grandchild that I haven't seen for three months now I don't think Opie's the jerk if there being a bad parent they're denying your son of being able to be in that kid's life entirely they're not bringing the kid around ever for you or your mom or anybody else that's interested to be in their lives as well and then call you up out of the blue asking for a favor from you how about try and work with us first before we get to that point am I the jerk for making my sister-in-law feel like crap about her weight 35 year old female and my sister-in-law is 46 year old female I have three children the oldest being 16 year old male for my birthday last week my son went out and bought me this swinging hammock chair that I've been wanting for two years and I cost him quite a bit of his saved money which I fully intend to put back into his bank account so he can continue saving he was so excited to see me open this gift and couldn't wait to help me set it up I told him he shouldn't have that it was a lot of money and his response was you never get anything nice I wanted you to have it and it was true I usually don't get anything for my birthday or Christmases outside of Tupperware or soaps so it might sound stupid but I've cherished the swing ever since he got it for me especially where I finally have something nice that's mine my sister-in-law comes over once a week to see all of us and she immediately headed straight from my swing which my son hooked up on our deck I told her to please not sit on it and she said is there a weight limit so I told her yes 250 pounds and I even showed her the box to confirm she wasn't upset about this she just said that's a bummer they didn't make something more capable of holding us big girls I simply agreed with her and went about my business at this point my husband shows up from work when I went inside to grab some drinks her and my husband are talking on my porch and not even five minutes later I hear a loud crash and my husband say freak are you all right I go out and sure enough she had sat in my swing and the crochet netting around the hook snapped on one side causing her to fall right on her butt she's sitting there laughing gets up and says I guess I need to learn to listen so I lost it as I said above I literally never get anything nice now ever this is the one thing that I had that was mine and it didn't even take someone a freaking week before they ruined it for me so I said I literally just freaking told you not even 20 minutes ago that it would not hold you and to please not freaking sit in it she makes some comment about usually the way limits will lie I thought it would hold so I said the weight limit probably would have held you if you were only 50 pounds heavier not a hundred fifty she's 420ish pounds because she's one of those girls who eats food on camera for money and she absolutely loves her weight but regardless instead of apologizing or offering to compensate me for my destroyed item she's resorted to saying that I'm a crap bag for making her feel like her weight is a problem and my husband's on her side it's just a freaking swing am I the jerk I think op is definitely not the jerkier and if the husband's willing to die on this hill I think there's gonna not be really any way to get it through to them until OPI can find something of equal footing to explain it to them I'm not advocating for op to actually go and try to break anything but would you agree with me that the best way for Opie to deal about this would be to find something that two other people might be small value or menial but means a lot to the husband grabbing it taking it to them and saying what if I fooled around with this and broke it especially if I broke it after you told me the very specific way it could break if I messed with it would you guys agree that that would be the best course of action let me know what you guys think in the comments down below our next story is from professional art3411 am I the jerk for not correcting my son when he told his stepfather slash my husband off I've been married to my husband Jeremy since my son Chris was eight he's now 17. my husband and him have a fantastic relationship despite what the title may sound like my birthday's in two weeks and I honestly haven't put much thought into it my husband's Not A Gift Giver he says he has a hard time figuring out what to get yet and doesn't want to waste money on something that people won't use he's also just a practical person whereas I'm by far the sentimental type so even when he does get me something it's something I can use every day which no big deal obviously but I've requested some sentimental pieces and he just never gets them so I pretty much gave up on ever asking for anything and it did really bother me for a number of years but it truly doesn't bother me now usually well my son graduated a year early and doesn't start college until next year so he currently Works two jobs his choice I've asked him to cut back and enjoy his teen years before adulthood but working just makes him happy so he works at a mechanic shop and a junkyard most of his buddies work there too so at least he's getting in time with friends well my husband hates spending money and tries inflicting that on us he lives as frugally as physically possible and saves every single dime that he can he could retire right this second and wouldn't be able to go through all the money he saved my son comes home last night with three of his buddies that work with him and he's like I know it's not for two more weeks but I can't wait for you to open this so please open it now him and his buddies are snickering about it so I thought it would be some gag gift but much to my surprise it was a huge absolutely gorgeous wall piece that has photo frames and shelves built in my husband immediately was like wow how much did that cost that could have went into a Roth IRA account I don't know if I said that right my son immediately shot cold daggers and my husband and says it's truly none of your business what I do with my money and since you had I had refused to buy my mother nice things that she absolutely deserves I'll make sure she gets something nice and for the record we made this ourselves didn't cost us anything my husband just stops talking looks at me waiting for me to say something and when I don't he shakes his head and walks off after the boys leave he says I'll allowed Chris to embarrass him in front of other people and I should have said something I simply told him that Chris was right am I the jerk I don't think OB is the jerk in this situation because realistically I don't think LP had any grounds to be required to jump in and defend their husband in this situation I think one thing most people can agree upon though is when somebody gets a gift for somebody else one of the questions that they can absolutely refuse to answer and is also kind of trashy to just ask unless you know you have that kind of relationship with that person it's how much they spent on any one gift let alone the fact that this son is working two jobs on their own volition they have every right to spend their money the way they want to and it's nice for the husband to look out for him but he's also a major jerk if he tries to Police Every Little way he spends his money by the way if you're enjoying these stories make sure to hit those like And subscribe buttons down below so you never miss any of my daily videos every single video has awesome stories like our next story from Out The Way Rio am I the jerk for taking my daughter to the restaurant my stepdaughter forbid us from I female 36 Mary Jeff male 39 two years ago he has a daughter Alicia 16 from his previous marriage and I have a daughter Morgan 12 from my previous marriage as well Alicia isn't closer to me nor Morgan and she always has something to be upset about for example when me and Morgan moved in with her and Jeff she tried to control where we can and can't go but areas I was allowed to redecorate and put my furniture in what room Morgan got Etc her excuse was that she wanted to keep the house how her mom left it as much as possible Jeff asked us to be more patient and she'd come around eventually she did come around but still tries to control other areas of mine and Morgan's life I had a million conversations that ended up with her throwing a tantrum Jeff talked to her and told her not to try to control what Morgan and I do ever and she agreed Morgan's birthday it was days ago we plan to celebrate at a restaurant and let Morgan choose which one she picked a really nice restaurant that is an over-the-top expensive and we agreed the party would be there however when Alicia heard which restaurant we were going to she went off on me and Morgan and said that we can't go to that restaurant because she had tons of memories there of her perfect old family and she won't let us taint the memory for her I found this Beyond a logical and unreasonable I told her she could stay home but she said it wasn't about her being there it was about the idea of me and Morgan being there with Jeff as family when it used to be her her mom and Jeff we got into an argument and Jeff told me to tell Morgan to just pick another restaurant but I snapped and told them Alicia had no right to dictate where me and my daughter go and he shouldn't be encouraging her he told me he wasn't encouraging anything just trying to keep all parties satisfied he told me to get more going to change the restaurant or he won't go that was it for me I decided I wasn't going to change it just because they wanted me to and ended up going with Morgan to celebrate with just my mom Morgan of course felt upset that her stepdad missed her birthday celebration when I pointed this out to him he argued that I literally gained Nothing by insisting on this particular restaurant and upsetting Alicia who's refusing to speak to any of us even him and ruined his relationship with Morgan I said it was Morgan's choice but he said I was the adult in the situation and have failed to navigate through it am I the jerk for still going to the restaurant although Alicia forbid us from it I just wanted to make Morgan feel like she has a say and a right to spend her birthday however she wanted would you guys agree with me that op is not the jerk here and that despite whatever previous Memories the stepdaughter had that op's daughter had every right to choose that restaurant and have that birthday there and expect their stepdad to be there too let me know know if you guys agree with me in the comments down below our next story is from an anonymous poster am I the jerk for keeping the whereabouts of runaway cousins secret from her family I'm 19 year old female my cousin 30 year old female ran away from home a couple of weeks ago and I say run away because it's illegal for single women to live on their own in our country if you want to rent a place you gotta either have a husband or a brother or any other man with you or otherwise a family member her family is absolutely horrible and I know that their description of her as a mentally unstable woman is due to their own abuse and she'd be much better off without them so when my cousin moved away she cut off contact with the whole family except for me and I know where she went but I chose to deny knowing anything about what happened or where she was to ensure that they won't use me to get to her in any way now my other cousin her sister followed me to the campus cafeteria and overheard me talking to her and she completely lost Mr Crap she told me she knew I was hiding something and that I watched them go without sleep for several nights and whether I enjoyed putting them through this she said that my cousin was mentally unstable and there's tons of predators around who could take advantage of her as a lone woman and that I put her in severe danger by keeping it from her family she said that they had to file a missing report and the whole family was in a mess thinking something happened to her she said I was really heartless and merciless for having done this to them and demanded I tell them their whereabouts even though I was shaken by the guilt In the Heat of the Moment at the time I still insisted that I only knew she ran away but really didn't know where she was and refused to give her my phone to check whether it's true after she was gone I deleted our conversations and her number just in case but I still feel quite conflicted about this and whether I really should have at least told them she ran away of her own volition and not kidnapped Etc or I could potentially put her in danger by not divulging her whereabouts since she might harm herself am I the jerkier I think op is not the jerk because really it's not op's place to do that when the cousin very clearly wanted to leave on their own volition to me it sounds like they want to know where she is so they can go and stick them right back in the family cage so to speak basically allowing that cousin to leave and stay free from a family that wants to control them I don't think op is the jerk for withholding that information this next story is from ad luck Lark am I the jerk for accepting a free place to stay for college and not asking for my stepbrother to have the same I got accepted into the College of my choice in another state almost immediately after I told my family my paternal grandparents offered to let me stay in a house they own so I won't have to pay rent I accepted my mom and stepdad asked my grandparents about my stepbrother staying there also since he was going to a college close to mine my grandparents said the offer was only open to me their grandson this was badly received by my mom stepdad and Stepbrother who all think he should be afforded the same offer I've been under a lot of pressure from my mom stepdad and Stepbrother to advocate for him to stay in the house with me or to turn down the offer if they refuse I don't want to do this am I the jerk I don't think Opie's The Jerk for not wanting to go at bat for their stepbrother to have accommodations from their biological grandparents the fact of the matter is these grandparents aren't related in any way to The Stepbrother they don't have any connection they probably weren't there when the kid was born growing up it's one thing for them to be cordial but expecting them to give up room and board to somebody that frankly they're not related to they probably don't have much exposure to it's a bit much and it's a bit much to expect op to try to convince them otherwise this next story is from Pink Addy am I the jerk for snapping at my younger sister and telling her my husband wasn't Prince Charming my younger sister was nine when I married my husband and I'm pretty sure she's had a crush on him since over the last seven years she's completely romanticized our relationship to the point where she constantly makes comments about hoping to marry someone like him even though she barely knows him and I've told her repeatedly that life isn't just happy social media pictures I've been staying with my mom and stepdad for the last month and in that time all my sister wants to do is talk about my husband he's the last person I want to talk about right now so hearing about how wonderful and perfect he is constantly has been making me angry yesterday I finally snapped at her when her and some of my younger cousins were talking about boys and my sister brought up my husband she was saying how she wished her parents knew someone like my husband so she could meet her prince charming too for context I met my husband through my dad when she said this I snapped at her that my husband wasn't Prince Charming my sister went quiet and quickly left the room I did feel bad bad and try to talk to her but she locked her door and wouldn't let me in she since told her parents and my husband my mom told me that while she understood why I said it I shouldn't have shattered my sister's fantasy just because mine has been and that the version of my husband my sister thinks is real is the one she wants to marry not the reality she also said I embarrassed my sister in front of our cousins and that's why she doesn't want to speak to me my husband's been sending me condescending texts about how he disagreed since he was very charming and saying I used to be sweet am I the jerk I'm guessing there's something that happened between op and her husband to make them feel in a particular way about them not being a Charming or a necessarily outwardly great person but I also think op's not the jerk here because let's be real op sister is kind of crushing a little too hard on op's husband and frankly I don't think Opie would be the jerk for doing what they did if it was solely just to try to get them to back up our next story is from attic lights 5475 am I the jerk for returning the money my husband took from my family for attending our cookout for context my female 28 husband male 33 comes from a wealthy family and he himself has inherited a number of assets from his relatives one of them is a huge house where we live right now with a pool and a huge backyard with lots of features we decided to host our first cookout after we got married seven months ago and we invited both his and my family that was on Friday both families came and we had lots of fun then everyone went home later I then got a phone call from Mom and she didn't sound okay she asked whether or not my husband took money from his family before they attended the cookout I was confused I asked what she was talking about and she told me that my husband charged every single person from my side of the family who attended the event 25 I was utterly shocked and very angry and fell like this is legitimately damaged my relationship with most of my family because almost all of them came over not just that but he got 275 dollars from them I was so livid I hung up the phone and confronted him immediately he told me my family got to enjoy the space and View and said that I should think of it as a resort cookout since this house has lots of luxuries I told him it was a horrible thing for him to do and that what made it worse is the fact that his family didn't pay like mine had to he laughed and then reminded me that his family gave him this house I demanded he give the money back but he said no and that he won't even give it to me since the house is technically his I went and took the money and gave everyone who paid their money back with a sincere apology from me my husband found out and flipped out at me calling what I did overstepping and disrespectful I told him he shouldn't have taken money from my family for being guests at our house but he corrected me saying it's his house and that he'd bet my family never got to attend a cookout at a house like this and that it was just 25 but I disrespected him and went behind his back and took money that wasn't mine we stopped talking after this argument and he keeps venting to his mom about me taking his money that he earned his own way I think it's one thing to ask for people to bring like food items if you're gonna have like a cookout but straight up telling people to pay 25 when you invite them to your house for a cookout I think that's pretty trashy doubly so when you're charging only the family of your partner and you don't even tell her that that's happening our next story is from balconies 13 am I the jerk for leaving my fiance at the mall after he insisted that I buy him a 350 dollar watch me female 32 and my fiance male 30 Aaron have been together for two years I have a high paying job and work long hours he used to do a three-week shift in a job that paid five times less than mine we're on pretty great terms on everything except money he's a big spender and spends so much on fancy stuff although his job doesn't give him this luxury he constantly likes and wants new stuff like watches gadgets electronics and car accessories and I do my best to use every occasion like Christmas and birthdays and New Year to get him what he wants lately and after he lost his job I have been noticing him tagging along whenever I go shopping then having me buy him expensive stuff right there and then I end up paying to avoid causing a scene in public because he'd beg me and then start throwing a fit if I refuse I talked to him about it since it seemed like a pattern but he said he just happened to see something he liked and thought I could pay for it I told him I'm no longer feeling comfortable with this and that the next time he tries to put me on the spot then have me pay for something he likes then throw a tantrum if I refuse then I'd walk out and leave him there he crossed the sword and said he'd never do such a thing on Wednesday we went to the mall to get a Father's Day gift for my dad and we walked by the accessory store Aaron told me to stop and follow him as he entered the store I knew this wasn't going well because he repeatedly tried on the Swatch that was worth over 350 dollars and expressed his admiration for it he then asked if I could pay for it but I said no and lied about having only three hundred dollars for my dad's gift which is why we were there in the first place he then started going on and on about how cool and catch the watch was then asked if my dad was more important than him I looked around and saw people looking at us as he started raising his voice I told him to knock it off but he refused and insisted I pay for it I just turned around and walked out of the store and out of the mall I got in my car and went home he started calling me non-stop but we didn't talk till he got home he blew up saying that I reacted ridiculously and selfishly after he begged me and I refused he said that I made a joke out of him by walking out and leaving him at the mall I told him what I said would happen if he decided to put me in this position again he argued that all he was asking for was just 350 dollars and even showed me a small notebook saying he's been writing down everything I pay for so he could pay me back but I was too selfish to even consider it he yelled at me then went out to meet with his friends his best friend tried to get involved by shaming me for how I behaved at the mall and hinting that what I was doing was borderline Financial control am I the jerk should I have just paid for the watch Opie is definitely not the jerk and this is financial control Financial control of their own finances not buying your fiance 350 using your own money is not Financial abuse it's not Financial control they're not going to dehydrate because they didn't get that splashy 350 dollar watch they're not gonna starve to death either they're not going to be shamed and looked down on upon and feel lesser because they didn't get a 350 dollar watch this next story is from aita maybe bridezilla would I be the jerk for disinviting a guest for my wedding over the color of her dress my 23 year old female wedding is at the start of August and I've been confirming RSVPs this weekend to finalize seating and Catering Etc I ended up chatting with one of my uni friends B 24 year old female and we got onto the topic of clothes for the wedding and B was saying how excited she was to dress up as she hasn't been invited to a non-family wedding before now while we're both British bee is ethnically white whereas I'm South Asian she said that she wanted to wear a sari to my wedding so I told her a few places she could get a nice one and she went shopping I did tell her that red was our bridal color so it should be avoided in my community you don't wear Bridal colors whatever they may be on the wedding reception itself the Sangeet mendi Etc are different now she's saying that she fell in love with a red and gold sorry and has bought it I told her that's the color of my bridal gown and she needs to find another outfit she said she's sure it won't matter on the day but like that's the equivalent of someone wearing a white dress to a western wedding she's refusing to compromise and change her outfit because she loves it so much and she won't have another occasion in which is appropriate for her to wear a sari I don't want someone wearing red and gold on my wedding day would I be the jerk if I Uninvited her over this I think gopi's not the jerk here I think as the person throwing the wedding if somebody expressed that they're deliberately going against the wishes of whatever you want your wedding to be you shouldn't feel like a jerk for uninviting that person for not respecting the rules that you want to have for your wedding our next story is from aita cloth 35 am I the jerk for refusing to ground my son when he called my father-in-law pathetic my husband and I have two kids Ryder 21 year old male and Juliet 16 year old female both of them are close to both sets of grandparents and visit them regularly Juliet is discovering her style and she's experimenting with clothes hairstyles and makeup Ryan gave her a sewing machine last month and she kind of went nuts with this doing a lot of pieces for Fun Since Julie's still a minor we set a few rules because we believe that even when she's expressing herself there's still things she shouldn't wear like no see-through things no large cleavage and no minis she's always mixing patterns colors prints and textures pants under skirts dresses as Cardigans big earrings and necklaces Etc sometimes it does feel like too much but that's just fashion isn't it she seems happy and we don't think it's fair to call her outfits ugly when she's just having fun and experimenting she still tones it down when it comes to family gatherings because she's afraid people will say something it's important to add that writer 100 supports and encourage urges his sister most of the funny jewelry that Julie owns are things writer bought for her and as I said he gave her a sewing machine recently she also makes some shirts and is trying to make him a jacket yesterday was Ryder's 21st birthday and we decided to have a small party just with family Julie asked Ryder what would be his theme so she could dress accordingly but he said she could dress however she wanted and I swear you could see Julie's eyes sparkling she ended up wearing a weird combination but looked happy and Ryder said she looked pretty as soon as everyone starts to come they I Julie but nobody says anything I noticed my father-in-law making a face and when he wants to give Ryder a few words he says it's time to address the elephant in the room Juliet looks awful go change the normal clothes little girl Ryder just rolls his eyes and says that a 70 year old man bullying a 16 year old is pathetic they start to fight and my father-in-law demands I punish my son but my husband and I refuse you made Julie cry I think op is not the jerk first of all I don't even think they were really calling the father-in-law pathetic specifically I think they were calling their actions pathetic and frankly I would agree with the writer that what the father-in-law did here was pathetic they might not understand a 16 year old experimenting with clothing and expressing themselves but that doesn't mean that they have the privilege to try and force them to conform to what the father-in-law thinks is the correct way to dress and our final story of the days from background walls 9413 am I the jerk because I told my daughter it's wrong to let her brother her cousin and others get married at our home but not allow her sister to do so my second eldest child has gotten engaged she's in the process of planning her wedding next year my oldest child and her husband own a ranch and farm in our neighboring state she hosted weddings before my youngest got married to his wife there my niece got married her husband there I know she's done the same for one or two of her husband's relatives also my second illness wanted to have the wedding there my eldest originally said yes however she changed her mind when more details about the guest list came out she was made aware that my second eldest daughter would have a large guest list her and her fiance intended to invite 600 to 700 people to the wedding between families friends and colleagues they knew a lot of people who would attend plus the staff for catering setup and other logistics can easily bring the total of bodies to a thousand my eldest has a large property it can take hours to drive from one end to the other and on horses or on foot it can take over a day to get there and back it would be understandable if she had a normal house that all these people wouldn't fit on however the property is large she said any weddings or events she's ever had have never been more than a hundred or so bodies including staff and she's never had had something so large although she's never charged a fee or any money to host weddings my second eldest daughter was willing to pay her even though everyone else used it for free however my eldest still backed out there's a wedding planner who will have charge over the staff will take care of any Logistics and who has insurance so everything would be controlled my eldest is still saying no now my wife and I told her it was wrong to open her space to her brother and others but not her sister as well as to back out over the size of the guest list when the property has so much room my oldest wasn't happy to hear this she got into an argument about it I'm disappointed my eldest is denying her sister what so many others have been allowed to enjoy as the property is a beautiful place for a wedding and they have more than enough room in this situation I think op is The Jerk It's one thing for the daughter to open their property to the relatives for multiple weddings when it's a wedding of a manageable size but expecting them to just freely or low cost anyways open their property for a wedding 10 times the size of anyone that they've had or another way to look at it is take both those weddings that previously were held there combine those parties and then multiply that by five it's just so mind-boggling and so many people I don't blame them for being overwhelmed or not wanting to go through with having a thousand people on their property regardless of the amount of insurance or Logistics that are overseeing this whole thing it just sounds like a scary nightmare am I a jerk for telling my husband he should be ashamed of himself and he would be incredibly lucky if his oldest daughter ever speaks to him again I married my husband three years ago he was divorced and previously widowed he has two daughters Annie who's Now 26 I believe from his first marriage and Amy who's 17 from his second my husband told me about his late wife his ex-wife life the issues they had as a blended family when he remarried and Annie was not on board with him remarrying and the fact that this strain ended his second marriage he was also honest that Annie never forgave him for remarrying and never wanted anything to do with Amy or him after she turned 18. what he didn't tell me was the major role he played in all of this I found this out three weeks ago at a dinner with his extended family the story as I now know it when Amy was around five years old she took a special interest in a necklace that belonged to his late wife my husband gave the necklace to Amy which upset Annie because all her mother's possessions Were Meant to go to her my husband told Annie that it was just one item and she needed to get over it because Amy was entitled to have something too and he brought up that it was the piece her mother wore the most my husband told her that it was a special gift to give to her sister that she was being selfish his ex-wife told her that her mother would want someone as special as your sister to have a piece of her as well and he never got over it she tried to take it from Amy and was punished the last time she saw any of them she told them to all go to freaking heck Amy still has the necklace too she's let it get into a bad way and talks about it as if her dad bought it for her I was shocked I never would have expected my husband to be that way he was very Unapologetic about it and told me Annie would have to get over it someday I told him that he should be ashamed of himself that he should have allowed Annie's mother's possessions to be hers to do with as she chose that Amy didn't give a crap about his late wife or the significance of those items but Annie would have I told him he'll be incredibly lucky if his daughter ever speaks to him again and I wouldn't blame her if she never did he was Furious I judged him his family said I should take my husband's side over his daughter who I didn't even know except for the nephew and niece who told the story because they also think my husband did a messed up thing am I the jerk I think he's definitely not the jerk here I think all you have to do is put yourself in Annie's position and you would instantly know that what the dad did here was not okay at all if you imagine yourself in that spot where your own parent that you care about deeply passes away and something that that parent cherish dearly gets handed off to some kid who wasn't related to them who doesn't care about the significance of that parent actually loving that item and you being told basically deal with it then you totally understand why Annie's upset do you guys think something like this would ever be salvageable again between the father and daughter or could this very well be something that the daughter never speaks to him again over let me know what you guys think in the comments down below our next story is from being witchy am I the jerk for flipping out on my roommate when she tried to ban drinking and alcohol from our apartment I 26 year old female have a little bit my friend we'll call her a 27 year old female for a few years now we've always had fun and typically get along super well a has a tendency to be what I I like to call a relationship chameleon whoever she's currently dating she starts to mimic their likes and behaviors this guy she's been dating for maybe two months apparently went through rehab for alcoholism and has been in recovery for a few years now I know getting sober isn't easy and I respect the strength that it takes to work through that well a couple of weeks ago a announced that she's giving up alcohol and solidarity with him okay cool she's never been a big drinker so no big deal she became a vegan for the last guy because he was she went right back to meet as soon as he ended things the time before she talked about converting to Judaism because when they have kids the mother had to be Jewish etc etc none of her other relationship Trends have ever affected me or my lifestyle right after announcing her newly sober lifestyle she starts being judgmental and pushy we have a bar cart that was pretty pricey that's well stocked she told me we need to get rid of it I said absolutely not she then said that I can keep it but it needs to go in my room once again no we live in the city bedrooms are small I only drink on weekends because my work is intense and wake early a bunch of us were out to dinner and she complained we were making her uncomfortable for having drinks and said we should respect her the final straw was last night my boyfriend came over a was out with her boyfriend and I made us a super nice meal he brought over nice wine a and her boyfriend come home early he goes into her room and she freaks out saying how she told me she had banned alcohol from our apartment I snapped and told her she's ridiculous this is my apartment and that when this guy eventually gets sick of her she'll be drinking again I also told her I was sick of her crap and that the apartment was in my name only I lived here with another friend prior and she needs to move out she grabbed sober boyfriend and stormed out I can't keep living like this am I the jerk for snapping on her and telling her to move out I can afford my place solo the stress she's causing isn't worth it she apparently started a group text with all our mutual friends with a distorted version of what happened saying I went crazy and kicked her out my phone blew up with messages with people mad at me and I had to tell people what actually happened I think op's not the jerk in this situation I have a lot of respect for anybody that can be able to go cold turkey and go sober it's obviously a very tough thing to do that said if you're living in a situation where you've got roommates you can't just expect your roommate to adopt lifestyle changes with you like that willy-nilly and especially considering they had stuff that cost quite a bit of money and op almost assuredly didn't want to give up alcohol and they started getting berated for it and put down and argued with I think Gopi is not the jerk for just saying all right look this isn't working it's my place I can afford it just to leave by the way if you're enjoying these stories make sure to hit those like And subscribe buttons down below so you never miss any of my daily videos our next stories from clocking Jam am I the jerk for not inviting my stepsister to my engagement party I'm a 27 year old woman and my fiance Ryan is 28. my parents divorced 15-ish years ago when I was 12 and my mom remarried around two years later to Tom Tom has two kids from his last marriage Lily and Anne Lily's my age but I'm a few months older than her and we went to the same school slash grade every other year since we both bounced between our divorced parents during the school year Lily never wanted to bond with me even with my attempts but Anne did make an effort I met Ryan in my junior year of high school and we had an on and off relationship throughout school like regular teenagers and broke up at 18 and then we reconnected years later when I was 25 and have been going strong since so Lily hated this like absolutely freaked out because she apparently never dated anyone in high school and didn't have an official relationship until late in college in high school I could never have Ryan or any boyfriend over to hang out because she would get insanely jealous she made a whole scene when we went to the senior prom together she demanded I go stag because she didn't have a date I didn't and you would not believe the Meltdown she had when we announced our engagement through social media whenever I did break up with Ryan she would rub it in my face and say I never deserved him how he doesn't like curvy girls I'm Latina and stuff like that my mom and I went through engagement invitations a few days ago and I specifically told her that only Anne and Tom are allowed to come and Lily is strictly not invited well my mom told Tom who got upset and then told Lily who then called me and that created a whole mess she called me absolutely Furious saying that I was insecure and that now she's going to wear white to my wedding since I want to make this about myself I'm very upset and my mom told me that I just need to invite Lily because we're were sisters and if I had in the first place then this drama wouldn't have happened I then told my mom I'm no longer contacting her until she apologized Ryan's on my side saying that Lily's made me miserable and to Stand My Ground but Anne's told me to be the bigger person since Lily's going through a hard time and I've been inconsiderate with her emotions by having too many boyfriends throughout the years and she's only had two I feel like everyone else is acting absolutely crazy and I feel like I'm losing my mind with no one seeing it from my side besides Ryan so am I the jerk I don't think op's the jerk it may be a very unpopular thing amongst the rest of the guests to not invite any one specific person but the fact of the matter is is it's your wedding you know who you want there you know how you get along how people would probably react or treat you at those events and frankly if they deserve to be there so like it sucks they probably disagree they might give you crap for it but I don't think it makes OPI The Jerk for not inviting them our next story is from I'm so freaking tired 34 am I the jerk for spending money on my friends and my co-business than my sister's IVF funds it is ridiculous that I even have to ask this question but since everyone in my family is triggered by me my own trust and my decisions is eroding and I need judgment I 34 year old female have a sister 29 year old female who's been battling infertility issues for the past five years since I'm not married and don't plan to have children my parents are desperately looking to have a grandchild and so are doing everything they can to support my sister some of her previous failed pregnancies were high risk and she had to quit most of her jobs halfway after getting pregnant and her husband makes just enough to support both of them so to help them financially my parents along with one of my paternal aunts set up a small fund to support the IVF procedures the thing is at first every everyone was motivated and since we've had about at least 25 people from the community and family who chipped in every Christmas it was okay and the burden didn't just fall on me although since the start I was pressured into contributing the most over the years many people have dropped out and now it's just seven of us including me my retired parents and other retired aunts or uncles who don't even have one-fourth the amount to donate since then it's been nothing but pressure to donate more from my side I've stood my ground and said no and everyone keeps guilt-tripping me my sister keeps taking loans after loans and I don't know but the anger and stress of it all is being projected onto me however I decided that this time around I no longer want to contribute as much mind you I used to contribute upwards of 7 000 every year after years of feeling used for money and being a doormat I got enough and made my stand I instead decided to start and invest in a small baking side hustle with my friend which I kept hushed for long till we publicized our social media account my sister found out and made a scene to my parents saying I was being cruel and greedy with my money when literally all of this while I was the one contributing the most out of any of them this baking side hustle has been a dream of mine since I was young and never mind the fact that they don't want to support me because my sister's IVF issues overshadows everything but they keep belittling my passion and efforts sis says that baking aspirations can be halted and continued but she only has a limited time left what the freak am I the jerk here like please tell me I'm not going crazy obviously whatever she says I'm sticking to my baking business plus it's cooperated with my friend I can't just quit the side hustle on a whim would you guys agree with me when I say that it's pretty clear Ops not the jerk here would you guys agree with me when I say that op didn't have any responsibility to donate any of this and if they had never donated any money at all to their sister's IVF funds they shouldn't have felt guilty or irresponsible or a jerk for not allocating money for their sister's IVF funds let me know if you guys agree with me in the comments down below this next story is from budget problems 9946 am I the jerk for refusing to allow my sister-in-law and her kid to go to my vacation house with us for the week my husband 30 year old male and I 29 year old female are planning a week-long vacation at my vacation home that I inherited from my parents some years back we're leaving Friday and coming home next Friday we're bringing my three kids 12 year old male nine-year-old male six-year-old male my husband had mentioned bringing along our mutual friends Robin Trish and their two daughters 11 and 7 and I was completely okay with this I tell him to invite them as our kids get along great and they're good company the vacation home has Lake access with canoes and kayaks and plenty of fishing and swimming areas and a nice sized fire pit however they unfortunately can't make it due to work my sister-in-law Jen 46 year old female has a 12 year old daughter named Emma I know I'm 100 going to sound like a jerk here but I do not like this child and I can barely tolerate my sister-in-law my sister-in-law raised Emma to believe she had autism she still thinks the doctor simply don't want to diagnose her despite them running multiple tests and stating it's truly just ADHD everything Emma does is excused as well she has autism and doesn't think or react the same way as other kids she's a massive bully to both kids and adults I can't even count how many times she's looked at me while I'm talking and has said will you just stop talking it's really annoying stuff like that well last week Emma was pulled from school for mental health because she bullied the wrong kid and it backfired so sister-in-law pulls her from school excuses it as autism and says she needs a much needed mental health break my sister-in-law knows we're going and asked my husband if they could come so he asks me if I would be willing to let my sister-in-law and her kid tag along and I immediately said no absolutely not under no circumstances he said he understands why I wouldn't want them to but claims maybe being away from Electronics in the city will help his niece and I said that I wasn't willing to have a crappy time to test whether or not it helps his niece and that this is supposed to be our break not an added headache his final argument was that the boys could use the company and I laughed and said in what world do you think the boys would want her company considering they don't even like going to her house he put his hands up and said all right no problem tells his sister I said no and now she's fuming at us saying her kid needs the break and she feels like we're being unnecessarily harsh I definitely think Opie's not the jerk here if they were willing to let the sister-in-law and their niece tag along that would be great of them but they have no obligation to they have no responsibility to and if they're gonna get pissy at them so be it but that doesn't make op and their family jerks for saying no you can't come to our vacation and that's not even mentioning all the ways that the sister-in-law is an awful parent our next story is from aita BNB dog am I the jerk for bringing an emotional support dog to an Airbnb and ruining the trip I have an emotional support dog Lucy she isn't a trained service dog and isn't legally protected I don't bring her into stores or anything mostly she's a pet except at night when she helps me with nightmares I have cptsd and extreme night terrors and without my dog I'll scream and cry but she can cue into the signs that I'm about to have a night terror and wakes me up before it gets bad so with Lucy I can mostly sleep normal without her it's a disaster this past weekend my friends rented a cabin more like a big vacation house in the woods for us all to hang out there were 10 of us total I got a ride with two of my friends who had been to a cabin with before I brought Lucy last time and it was fine no one said anything when she got in the car with us I checked the Airbnb listing and it said pet friendly I wouldn't have come if it said no pets because I know my night terrors would disturb the other people but bud with Lucy allowed I would be fine so I didn't think anything of it but when I got to the cabin the girlfriend of my sort of friend Jake got really upset about Lucy apparently she's allergic and didn't bring any allergy meds and no one told her a dog would be coming this was my first time meeting her and I don't even have Jake's phone number so I wouldn't have been able to let him know I felt bad about it and suggested Lucy could stay outside on the patio until bedtime when she would sleep with me but Sandra said Lucy couldn't come inside at all because of the way the cabin was kind of a loft slash open plan setup not sure how to explain this but it's like the bedrooms didn't have ceilings and the main roof was way higher than the rooms I suggested I go back home but the friends who drove me weren't willing to drive all the way back so Lucy had to stay on the patio all night it was terrible I got the room next to the patio so she could sit at the sliding doors and be near me me but she'd never slept outside before and it was in the woods with who knows what animals I tried to sleep on the patio with her but I was cold and uncomfortable and couldn't sleep if I don't sleep at all my cptsd symptoms get bad and I become a volatile mess so I didn't want to risk not sleeping so I went to bed inside but of course I had a night terror and woke up everyone screaming twice they were pissed the next morning they all got together and voted me out and said I had to leave my one friend drove me home and barely talked to me the whole time no one's responding to my apology texts I know it was probably a jerk move to bring a dog without checking with everyone but I didn't know most people that well and last time it wasn't a problem I didn't know someone allergic was coming but my friends all definitely think I'm the jerk and I may have lost this friend group am I the jerk so I think op is definitely not the jerk I think in this situation it's an unfortunate circumstance that somebody was allergic it's definitely one of those things that you realize after the fact it would have been nice to check but for op to be put down the way they did and outcasted by this group I think it's just unfair to op and I don't think they were the jerk for bringing the dog in fact as far as I'm concerned the way they acted here is essentially them saying hey we think the guy with allergies is more important or more in the right than you with your dog they're basically picking sides and seeing you bringing your dog was in the wrong the guy with the allergies is right and then essentially slapping on a whole layer of and you should also feel ashamed for doing so the sex story is from how to goon am I the jerk for making my stepson clean the whole house instead of going to a birthday party I 39 year old male have an 11 year old daughter and a 12 year old stepson they get along well most of the time but like most kids they fight and annoy each other my stepson developed a habit of going into my daughter's room and taking things to his room to upset her like a t-shirt a favorite pen a teddy bear Etc I've told him to stop doing that repeatedly and told him that each time he does it he will be punished the first time after he took something he was on trash Duty for a week the next time he had to wash the car the next time he had to help me mow the lawn which he hates Etc he pretty much stopped upsetting my daughter after this my wife says I'm being too strict but I told her his behavior is unacceptable and he has to be disciplined yesterday was my stepson's best friend's birthday party and my stepson was really happy to go very excited about it a few days before this party he entered my daughter's room and took her diary when my daughter found out she got very upset and told me and my wife about it my wife suggested we discipline her son by making him wash the dishes that night I told her this has become a big problem and just washing the dishes isn't nearly enough we sat both kids down and I explained to my stepson that what he's doing is taking my daughter's stuff without her consent and that is not okay stepson says he does it just to annoy her I said I know but he has to stop he said that she annoys him too like how she always sits in the armchair he likes the most this was the example he gave and I said that I know that and she's disciplined for it as well but what he's doing is worse I said I know they like each other and they're happy to be siblings and they're just teasing each other but this breach of consent needs to stop he cannot enter her room Uninvited much less enter her room and take things stepson yelled at me saying this is his house my daughter and I moved in with my wife and stepson years ago and he'll enter the room whenever he wants I told him that's it he isn't going to the party and will instead clean the house with me and my wife that day he's obviously upset my wife says that that was a jerk move for me but I think it's the only way he'll learn I think op's not the jerk here I'm not one to be able to say how you should or shouldn't parent your kids but I would say if your kid is disrespecting you to your face like that withholding something like going to a birthday party is honestly probably a fair form of discipline as long as op remains level-headed and the disciplines remain reasonable which doing chores specifically doing chores with you I think is more than fair at some point you would think that they would get over themselves and just grow as a person to respect others I'm guessing there's some underlying feelings going on here from the stepson if you can afford it family therapy would probably be a pretty good option but just alone on what op did I don't think they're the jerk our next story is from artistic relative 420 am I a jerk for yelling at my mom's husband in public my dad died when I was seven years old my mom remarried when I was nine I'm now 16. my mom's husband which I'll call him because I don't feel like he deserves the title of stepdad or dad came into the relationship with some clear your jealousy he told my mom to take down all the photos of my dad in our house bringing up that it felt like dad's house versus his even though my mom and I had moved prior to their marriage and after my dad died so it was never my dad's house he then made a big deal out of me having so many photos of my family and my parents in my room I told them I liked looking at them and I liked having the memories near he said I could put photos of my dad away so he wasn't intruding on our family I told him I didn't like him I was nine and he wasn't going to take my dad from me he kicked my grandparents AKA dad's parents out of our house when I was 10 because they brought me some childhood photos of dad he went crazy saying he didn't want photos of that man and his house I never did forgive him for that he told me to stop bringing up my dad one time mom and I were talking about dad on his birthday and he said it was disrespectful and he didn't want to feel like he was competing with a ghost my mom into the conversation and apologized to him but I was pissed off at him more than anything he was such a jerk to friends of our family who knew my dad anytime someone commented that I was getting more like him he would scowl at them and tell them to move the conversation along because talking about a dead man was uncomfortable for most people he used the line once that he was the only dad I ever had and I told him that was not freaking true and he was never going to be worthy of being my dad anyway that's a lot of background but not all since I don't have unlimited typing space my mom's birthday was Saturday and her husband threw her a party Midway through he gives me a gift inside was a photo of himself that he wanted me to put in my room and adoption papers I tossed the adoption papers in the trash he saw what I did which led him to make a comment about not being able to toss away the truth I got mad so freaking fast I told him to get over himself that is jealousy and insecurity was not my problem and I would never let him legally become my father that I didn't even want to marry to my mom and he was a disgusting jerk everyone heard what I said he's still Furious mom was upset by his anger almost everyone left after I yelled am I the jerk I think op is definitely not the jerk here I think this guy is absolutely a lunatic for trying to erase op's biological father clearly this guy has mountains of insecurity about never being able to live up to Opie's father I think he goes without saying that he could have handled this so much better from the very start and frankly I think it's irreparable at this point do you guys think there's anything this guy could do to fix that relationship let me know in the comments and our final story of the day is from nothing man 24 am I the jerk for telling my classmate to cover up their legs so this sounds weird but I'm in the 8th grade and we're doing senior trips all of this week yesterday we went to a trampoline park but this is a throwaway so I won't say which one but one of my classmates wore shorts but she has eczema and has these hyper pigmentation spots on her legs on the right she has this really big one and on the left she has multiple smaller ones they're all healed but it's just hyperpigmentation that's left but another one of our classmates who's also my friend kept talking to me about the spots and he even jokingly referred to them as cow spots or giraffe spots and she heard us and got upset and told us leave my legs out of your conversation I get enough crap from strangers thinking I'll give their kids a disease and my friend told her to mind her business while I told her if you don't want people talking about your legs then cover them up and one of her friends came to play knight in shining armor and said cover up and die of heat stroke because it's only getting hotter here in the Bronx and no one's wearing sweats all the time a teacher then broke it up so am I the jerk uh yeah I think op is definitely the jerk here imagine having a condition that you have no control over and because you want to be comfortable and wear shorts people are going to pick on you and tell you to cover up and bully you and make you feel bad and shame you for something again you have no control over op is not only the jerk but they should feel bad for telling somebody else to cover up their legs because of hyperpigmentation but with that being said that's all the time we have for today so if you want to hear another am I the jerk your story that was crazier than any of the stories in this video click on that left video or if you missed my latest video click on the right but with that said I'll see you all next time with some more stories

Channel: Storytime

Views: 435,404

Keywords: storytime, story time, life stories, r/maliciouscompliance, r/idontworkherelady, r/entitledparents, r/entitled parents, entitled parents, maliciouscompliance, malicious compliance, prorevenge, r/prorevenge, r/pro revenge, reddit stories, funny reddit stories

Id: 8MKq3r_Qvqk

Length: 237min 59sec (14279 seconds)

Published: Sun Aug 13 2023