Best of Craig Ferguson

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it's like when you have sex with someone you don't want a profession he pretended someone else yeah yes I do know that I have done that so different sometimes have sex and pretend to somebody there I do were you a cheerleader yes in high school right I only did that to meet guys all the cute guys were were I'm just basically a slut is what I am no no you are adorable you're adorable my mom's gonna watch this and it's going to be just between this and the making out with the women on TV my family is just going to be so proud so it's so evident Rachel what's the film about then well let's see um I play a Larry David's wife Larry David must be what 90 but yeah I play a little runaway from Mississippi who ends up living with the stingy old Ebony czar Scrooge kind of character kind of like my life you know my wife is younger than me oh that's fine yeah whatever floats your boat man what's the deal with the snake cup you mean what's the deal with his big toe it's the kind of cop older man prefer a young man probably would use a regular cup but the young men know nothing in ways of lying oh that's like okay so if I had a small cup people would say oh he must have no room in his pants first you know it's always interesting time with you I know I was going to say this was the most awesome interview we've ever had this movie seriously yeah no it's a great movie I touched you have yeah that's great you were awesome in it who was the other the other guy Larry Larry's here wasn't he yeah he was that's why I watch the movie cuz he was coming and I didn't want to know it nor but his movie so I watched that you were there and you were there you were there and here we are really good really good anyway we're out of time so there you go you know I'm concerned for you in this film concerns well you've got a Canadian a Canadian I like the way you say it well I practiced yeah can you do a Scottish accent no you'd be careful for Scotty in Star Trek there nobody can do it what what no everybody that please Scotty can't do is go to shout train Simon Pegg in the new movies pretty good uh-huh if you don't need a band I do do you have one B again do you have one it's like so nice but you like these two the way I speak I'm used to it I'm not that strange because I thought you watch the show every night yes no but I've not had your mouth in my leg now listen your husband been here happy yes he was very nice he's got tattoos you know yeah yes my husband's colored he's Boston Texas he's not named no I thought he was from Texas no he seemed a bit Texan my neighbors here are we talking hot sauce really yeah is that a code and you given me not what my top comes off or something an English gentleman I am NOT an English gentleman actually I'm a Scottish star this gentleman here you can't be working all the time when you do relax what do you do to unwind you go to the discos for the young kids and shake your freaky boogie I'm not sure I've ever heard it quite describe that I'm from another country yeah actually I'm doesn't look like it right now cuz I'm I kind of get dressed up get feminine that you look lovely yeah yeah but I'm kind of outdoorsy and I don't know what it is about me and fishing but whenever I go out I always get a bite I don't know why I'll bet you do yeah I'll bet you do I guess you're a gentleman I am a gentleman so I got you I got you out somewhere I have here oh yeah really yeah Joe bring it out there yeah mater this Tyga's oh yeah cut the cake for dessert get some lovely haggis would you like it behind is it really hot it's really high yeah you got to cut through the fleece ah there did you make it uh yeah uh yeah I did yeah yeah it wasn't and may I compliment you on your amazing shoes they actually really something you got going on there I noticed you from time to time you do well you know it depends but yeah yeah I can see but leave it there I can see it better that's that's an amazing show is that the the Roman Sun don't go on that this is sort of dominatrix yeah oh I knew I'd seen it somewhere I've seen a rattlesnake in the wild you know when you know out there what do you do if a guys coming up netting on you and you're no interested that I'm polite right and then I stop talking to them is that rude no that's marriage you polite and then you sister you just they come up see hi right yeah I'm a guy okay so you're a party is not a party yeah well are you sitting down somewhere with your big night there and I came over and you think well there's this guy interested we might be he's got a dog them PETA he's gonna don't but he's got a little cat with them all right so hi hi hi I'm Craig what's your name I'm Munna these your little friends no I only I take them around so I could meet girls but really I'm an escaped mental patient do you cut women I did I cut Tristan Belen half I hate that you know the secret and I don't I do know the secret I could cut you in half right now you wouldn't even know so Taylor I know I I have special magic powers and you know why I've got them because I'm an American right do you like the magnum p.i I like the Hawaiian shirts I've never heard to them oh you so funny you should be on the television I got a vegetarian I'm not offended right okay like a good piece of meat okay oh oh do you oh no I wasn't wanting poison no no I was thinking of a lumberjack sketch by Monty Python I was thinking of this old cartoon they always showed between shows in the early morning cartoons and Canada's a lumberjack running on a lumber log in its gonna go nowhere this is gonna go nowhere I used any pain medication no I get it why should I everyone in Canada right now is going on the log and lady and again it's a good one she adorable well course you are adorable I have to actually I keep going cuz it's the commercial breaks and then stuff that's a shame you can't hang out I don't really like yeah I know I could sit I could stay with you you could interview and I could sit on your lap hello George Clooney George Clooney oh jeez you know didn't you didn't you say that in the beginning of the show what George Clooney I'll call me George oh no don't call me George Clooney man call me George I'm sorry did you think I mean call me George Clooney well I'm not a supermodel for nothing such a fool yes shoot but you know what it's okay because I don't know that many other Scotsman except for Scotty on Star Trek because what's common kitchen mean Oh travesty no no no he wears men's clothes but he's Canadian okay how about being single oh you know what I'm gonna give up raisin yeah yeah I'm gonna find someone and just marry the pants right off them that's what what sort of women do you like I think I I like tall women I like women who are intelligent I like women who are beautiful but overall the characteristic I'm looking for in a woman is lack of bitterness but in order to get a woman that's not even a little bit bitter you might have to go rather low in age I'll do what I have to

Info

Channel: 7dni

Views: 2,061,230

Rating: 4.764092 out of 5

Keywords: Craig, Ferguson, Bonnie, Somerville, Evan, Rachel, Wood, Sandra, Bullock, Emmy, Rossum, Paulina, Porizkova, Shirley, Manson, Moon, Bloodgood, Evangeline, Lilly

Id: mZ50wAUN-0A

Channel Id: undefined

Length: 9min 55sec (595 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 02 2009

Reddit Comments

Craig Furguson is always hilarious. I think it's because I watch the Daily Show that I just want to turn on the Late Late Show and listen to him and his gay robot skeleton pal make thinly veiled sexual euphemisms for an hour.

👍︎︎ 3 👤︎︎ u/GhostSongX4 📅︎︎ Oct 29 2012 🗫︎ replies