Chelsea Handler on Craig Ferguson (2012) [HD]

[Applause] my next guest from my money is the best late-night host working today no joke I sees the host of Chelsea Lately which airs weeknights on E please welcome the adorable Chelsea hi now say you're great and you smell great oh thank you oh you look really good really I like this is go art on it okay my eyes are here yeah get to your eyes I've seen your eyes before and I'm looking forward to seeing them again but right now I'm appreciating thank you look well and congratulations on your new studio congratulations on your new Steve it's it's a little smaller than yours I couldn't even actually tell the difference from the last not really no you can you can't be yours is huge it's like it's a lot more expensive than you right yeah yeah well that's what you want though you're an expensive girl I look at you and I think that's money right there is it different working on it you feel like it feels very exciting I feel like I'm a big girl like I feel like I went from high school to college you know to me yeah yeah about big girls yeah yeah no it's what about your little fellow that does he look even smaller he does he's it's actually a big stage so there's a lot of kind of like empty air so yeah he really has to kind of speak up and we got him a bigger seat yeah you got you got did you get your massage chair by the way oh wait did ya thank you so much and when it was my I was on the Chelsea show just before my birthday and and in your dressing room there's this massage chair which is like the climax I mean really this thing it really is I mean it puts its Thunder you know I mean it's really great I went and it does hurt for Chuck's burger but the but what I said to Chelsea how much I loved it and she bought me one for my birthday yeah no to be in fairness I didn't have to even pay for it they were happy to just give it to you I pretend that it was a gift from me but I just called the company and they were like who is that I know what you're doing because I know how lovely you are and you're doing that oh I'm so tough I'm a tough girl but you're not just no I'm sorry you're soft you're scary is what you are but there's something about I wonder about this if you come across this in your daily life because you're scary but it's very attractive she thinks I do think so I don't know if that's just me I'm saying other man I'm thinking like how do you feel when you see me do you get like a resurrection yeah yeah sure well I'm not all the time well you are older that's my age it's not gonna happen every time let go but if it happens at all I'm like oh I appreciate that but I'm sure I'm not very attracted to a lot of men probably don't like girls like me you know what you mean smart clever beautiful girls like that I always tell you if you were a single and I were single I would definitely have a one-night stand with you that's the most romantic thing it's kind of like ships that might have passed in the night briefly for sex what's your criteria between a one-night stand and a relationship material well if it happens for more than one night then it's a relationship but you don't go in with that plan no you never do I mean you never plan on a one-night stand I haven't had a one-night stand well that's not true but I have it I haven't had them as fruitfully as I did when I was in my 20s then it was just like all bets were off you know anything was things were coming and going what things we talking about it we talking you ever been abstinent I did I went to Amsterdam once on my very first book tour and I went you know when you go through security at the airport they always ask you a few has any drugs on you because obviously that's pretty much the main reason everyone goes to Amsterdam and remember saying to the person because we had done like a bunch of acid and I remember saying the airline person I go in May or on me yeah cuz we were so high by the time I was like 25 years old and we were so high on that plane ride and I was in first and she was in coach and I was so high I moved back to coach because I couldn't be alone I was like good wait wait before we got on the airplane you're mine why is the ballsiest thing I've ever heard in my life well I don't think I was planning on being I think it was just still in my system and I had to get on the plane right ticket for the plane I just think I got a long plane ride all these drugs I have to get rid of I don't wish to seem disrespectful but they take drugs to Amsterdam I mean to Amsterdam you know I was going leaving out oh you were leaving answer damn I thought you were taking the drugs into Amsterdam is like they they got some well I wish you could listen a little I got better when you say that word you pull my hair a little bit about Mary that's what it is keeps your hair fresh and yeah yeah let me ask you what's going on with your life I know you had a baby right yeah no about two years ago you still have it yeah yeah I got to know my gun older kid and the baby they're awesome they're they're very very nice people I want to meet your wife someday yeah you should have dinner like you me and you know your wife and then you can bring your boyfriend's really you have one well maybe I mean I can get one no I I can find you a boyfriend you want a boyfriend yeah yeah yeah if you want what I mean he'll be small quick how small Tom Cruise small okay so we'll skip the boyfriend and I'll come over your house I'd like to go into people's homes and hang out okay you can cover my husband hang out I'm going I'll be away for Thanksgiving you know I would hope I don't ever date an actor normal oh come on I mean I can't be that take themselves they take themselves very seriously but it's hard to find people that have a good sense of humor you don't mind if I tell you I don't mind it at all it's hard I mean those guys take themselves very say they do because what they work they do is very important they you're absolutely right hey we both better be careful because you know we gotta invite these people on the show and listen to the rock you didn't got so the thing is they seem to be fine with it most of them if you make fun of them and then invite them on the show don't you find you don't yeah they seem to have a good I mean if they do come on your show after you've spoken about them then they have a very good sense of humor do you ever do you ever stop yourself to everything I can that no that guy I wish I could you know but I just figure you know what it's working so I'd rather be honest than just be full sorry I don't even understand that that's why you're not in a relationship I'm you're right are you gonna oh I hope not oh come on you'd be a great mom why would I be a great mother I'd be a terrible mother what are you talking about they agree you would raise comedians I think you know what you're saying I love when people say you'd be a great mother like you have any idea what kind of mother I would be I don't think you have any idea what mother you what is that insecurity my dear friend I love Mary he chipped his tooth yeah I know I I did I think it was there was a night it was some actor here talking about something then I had to him and they know it was chip did bother that Mary gave me that so I've got that from a Mary and the chair from you I said and I drank this and I sit in the chair and go I shall see Mary love me so you know that I'm deathly afraid of snakes I have really no I know why you're afraid of snakes I am a therapist you know I had a snake in my driveway and it was and my driver had to run it over because it was slithering it was talking it was talking to my dog I'm not joking before or just after you come back from Amsterdam no this was recently this was like a couple of months ago and I was sitting and the dog was barking and my friend was walking at my driveway and she said you have a rattlesnake in your driveway and I am like I will go and just like like start to twitch and I'm not scared of a lot of things and I'm scared of snakes and I was coming up to pick me up because I was going out and I'm responsible driver and drink her so I said run over run over that snake that's cool why he was a rattlesnake he was gonna attack me no he's a rattlesnake he's just moving from one place to the next to get on with whatever they drive way to my pool or my backyard but he's not going like gonna get jealous ain't gonna get Chelsea to do this thing I believe he wasn't saying I'm gonna get Chelsea I'm gonna get Chelsea - bidelman I don't like rattlesnake snakes I don't like big wuss and then they said oh you can get a king snake to eat the rattlesnakes in your yard I go I don't want any more buckets there you go that's the girl I know go take a break we'll be right back [Music] [Music] I've known Chelsea Handler everybody are you interested in are you frightened of fruit I got some fruit and yeah it's kind of my thing I'm trying to find a new way of getting rid of guests and you know at the end you at the end of the interview when you're trying to figure out what to get it done that's a that's a coyote it looks a bit like what is it look like chess well why I'm not I have no idea I've never seen anything quite like that before don't think you're telling me the food all right let me draw a little face on it then I'll be then it'll be not on this pen doesn't work oh you gotta alright this seems like a great bit yeah it's really working well look no one's threatening [Music] I'm not really I don't want to freak you picture of a snake last night with my friend and I jumped out because he said looky-look and I was I mean I can't handle it I don't mean to freak you out I'll calm you down with a picture of Pat Sajak over you like Pat Sajak no no you kind of this cuz this studio was built for Pat Sajak oh and she had a late night show he did yeah for about two months and it was this is the studio and your studio was built for Conan Conan right yeah whoopsy this is Pat Sajak I thought he was on that show we live best yeah we all a fortune right you should host a game show you'd be really good at that you know that's a great idea do you have a production company I do but will a fortune is filmed in this very studio at CBS to do no not this one but this is in CBS unless they do when I'm no here do you think they sneak past a jacket great these parties going all right come on he's only he's like a gnome this used to be mine yeah you have similar haircuts if you look closely yours apart I said I'll come on there yours is a little bit more postmodern ironic but his is like well that actually looks like a piece is that a wig no I think the real take away your game yeah that's what you're taking a bird out it oh no I forgot to tell you you're gonna watch over tonight I'm going to a party with keeping a party with Kievan why are you saying his name like that it's not even a name mom you're either Kevin or you're Stephen Kievan does not exist Kevin does exist and he is kind and employed no bomb I did not agree to this please don't do this to me honey if you watch Albert tonight I'll sign the application for NYU tomorrow and then this time next year you're gonna be trick-or-treating the West Village I love you thank you you're welcome

Channel: UberDurable

Views: 1,254,766

Rating: 4.7649527 out of 5

Keywords: Craig Ferguson, Chelsea Handler

Id: O_wVXdBpRxY

Length: 14min 24sec (864 seconds)

Published: Sun Oct 21 2012