Bernie Mac Original "Milk & Cookies"

[ __ ] let's discuss it black folks don't discuss [ __ ] [ __ ] your [ __ ] ass down nappy head bastard i'm telling man i got i got one daughter my daughter 21 years old my daughter's been in school for the last four years anaheim the last four years of my life me and my wife been swinging but i had to [ __ ] up two years ago i got three new additions in my [ __ ] family three new [ __ ] kids my sister kids you know i ain't saying we family we family you know my sister on drugs yeah i ain't ashamed to tell you i got her kids you know some of your family members [ __ ] up you gonna be looking at me all [ __ ] up your family [ __ ] up too i'm just having to tell you about it yeah my brother gonna call me and say man they're gonna take the kids so you know i said no i couldn't have that i came to court the jail was gonna separate the kids you know i shouldn't let the judge do that but i didn't know no i'm giving these [ __ ] back man i ain't scaring skate these [ __ ] on my [ __ ] nerve man three [ __ ] new kids in my damn film two four and six oh [ __ ] come help me keep these [ __ ] you owen folk and that two-year-old she the [ __ ] see that [ __ ] she's she worshiped the devil she's the worker for the devil or the four-year-old my sister must have really been getting high with her cause she don't say [ __ ] all she do is look at you i told her the other day i said [ __ ] if a fire breakout boy you better have a whistle or horn or something but you're gonna be a burner [ __ ] [ __ ] with me i ain't got time looking on my [ __ ] law like there's no goddamn fire talk death mute talk five blazes [ __ ] that [ __ ] that [ __ ] that [ __ ] that and and and and and the six-year-old homosexual oh [ __ ] don't know six-year-old walk all like this here crying all the [ __ ] time usually that's what's wrong with that's what's wrong with parents today you act like you don't see [ __ ] you don't know [ __ ] you see your [ __ ] kid you know no kid ain't no god damn good this boy's a [ __ ] six years old he gonna be a [ __ ] just like on good time michael oh no [ __ ] that [ __ ] that you knew michael was a [ __ ] when he was singing when you're young at that [ __ ] sister here's this quick [ __ ] quit playing with yourself tell the [ __ ] truth trooper sets you free so you play a game i ain't burning i can't play no goddamn game the ball is assistant i can hurt my heart ain't nobody knows this in our family this first one you know and the two-year-old he do whatever the two-year-old tell him to do two-year-old the boss see that's the one you got to watch that's that little [ __ ] there's something else that's how i talk to her a little [ __ ] little [ __ ] [ __ ] that town timeout with leaky kids murderers today they must kill the you ain't gonna kill me i'm gonna kill them i can see y'all reading ebony right now i can hear you talking it's a shame my brother max [ __ ] up those kids walking around the house two three o'clock in the morning go to bed [ __ ] i had my pillow my gun right on my [ __ ] pillow they come in the bedroom i said i said you think what the [ __ ] walking around [ __ ] it's time i can't sleep i said keep [ __ ] with me keep [ __ ] with me keep [ __ ] with me i came in the house the other day man one o'clock in the morning she gonna send the [ __ ] one six-year-old downstairs for some milky cookie ain't going i'm going upstairs he coming down he can walk past me like i'm a visitor you know he's just gonna walk past me like i ain't [ __ ] i'm baby [ __ ] i said where you going dude to get something cookies that's how he said it i said i wanted to hear him say it again i said what to get something i can cook i'll say you little [ __ ] yeah it's too goddamn late for the [ __ ] milk [ __ ] going back upstairs switch your punk ass back upstairs yo yeah you can smack all your wrong [ __ ] put my foot in your head that's how i talk to him he's going to go upstairs in the room the two of you are going to say where the cookies and [ __ ] you know he's going to tell her him downstairs who the [ __ ] is him like i ain't got no name and [ __ ] you know what i mean she gonna tell him i go get this [ __ ] myself she's gonna come downstairs oh boy ladies and gentlemen looking like a raccoon and [ __ ] you know what i mean i started to shoot that [ __ ] you know she's gonna open the refrigerator get a little ladder that's what you get ready to do get some milk and cookies i said did not take your [ __ ] boy you couldn't handle goddamn milk now it's too goddamn late go to back the [ __ ] up staff when you get [ __ ] up down here she gonna look at me all up and down like i'm short you know you know what somebody look at you like that man you know what the [ __ ] that mean on the street so i said well what the [ __ ] look at that move hey [ __ ] she gonna walk past me whatever whatever you better walk it off [ __ ] you better walk it off you [ __ ] you

Channel: Walter Latham Comedy

Views: 12,644,741

Keywords: Milk & Cookies, the Bernie Mac Show, Walter Latham Comedy, hilarious, parody, improv, funny videos, jokes, black comedy, Comic View, Def Comedy Jam, BET, TVOne, OWN, Comedy Central, ESPN, standup comedy, reality TV, Kevin Hart, Mike Epps, Madea, Tyler Perry, relationships, hip-hop, money, Dave Chappelle, Chris Rock, Wild 'n Out

Id: Y5yMZEr6MbI

Length: 5min 48sec (348 seconds)

Published: Wed Jul 03 2013