Be the Greatest You with Trent Shelton and Lewis Howes

my purpose is you know Trent Shelton at my peer Who am I because when I understand that I can go in any placement right I'll close our placements I can go in any of those placements and actually live my full potential actually make a difference [Music] welcome back at one of the school's greatest podcast we've got my man Trent Shelton in the house brother so good to see you man I hear you're looking to lean and mean Thank You Man definitely lighter than the last time hardly I have I like it man we got to hang out a few weeks ago in Puerto Rico yeah it's good to do a run with you and a workout leading the hip workout for all of us with Dean and the crew and you've got a new book out man I'm excited about this because last time we talked we kept saying like when's the book could it happen yeah this is called the greatest you make sure you guys pick it out check it out it's out right now you guys can get it face reality released negativity and live your purpose yes and you've been inspiring people for was it five six years now with your online content or longer now long it was started 10 years ago in 2009 but I would say 2011 is where I got really focused kind of really take off about 2012 yep now you got over 10 10 million on face right it's a million on Facebook a couple million on Instagram and everywhere else just keeps blowing up yeah all your videos seem like they have a hundred million views just like you're really intent all about your message and you speak to people heart and I think a lot of people are struggling right now and you bring this this voice and this message because you've been through the struggle as well we talked about in your book you talk about this but you're you're married and you've got some beautiful kids right now yeah another one on the way but back in the day you weren't like this perfect like husband boyfriends not at all you tell us a story you were dating someone but then you had a baby with someone else at the same time you were off and on it was tough man so it was my first year in NFL and just do our college man like that was a lifestyle I mean growing up you know that was the picture of success you know it's money cars women that's what we thought success was so I wanted all those things when I got it and so I got caught up in that lifestyle that was new to me at 21 years old 22 years old had a often on relationship that's no excuse to do what I did but it was off and on and she actually lived in New York and I was in India so it kind of gave me room to do what I wanted to do exactly exactly have fun exactly and live my life at that point man and um I end up mean Maria just being out you know she was in and out hapless in Indianapolis yeah and Indy and uh beautiful I mean when I first saw her I was like man she's bad it was like there's be another yeah and uh you know we messed around and we were friends and ended up getting her pregnant yeah and I was over dating someone else yes see that was tough man that was really tough because even on a deeper level the girl I was dating our families were really close and I've been knowing her since I was born like our family our mom's our best friends and so it became very much a lot of friction than trail the lies everything everything and I was hurting more than just her so now my mom and her mom are not friends they're friends now but at that time yeah they were going back and forth to each other because you know each was trying to protect their child and it was like the first time I had to face reality like you know there's things you can run from there's things you can hide but like a pregnancy you can't hide yeah I'm asking my homeboys like hey what should I do they like man don't just don't worry about it don't don't don't tell him don't tell her now just let it blow over and just I have to face my reality man I can't keep living like that like let me face it and I faced it in it was bad it was really bad what he told the girl you're dating I told her and I actually got kicked out her apartment at the time and I had Instant Karma I was trying to fly back to Texas and it was like a snowstorm in New York and I got stuck in the airport that day it was bad so um she's screaming at you she's upset she's heard yeah it was bad it was very bad and you know of course over time and even being me being not a just rude to Maria to like I was blaming her I was trying to blame everybody from my mistake so I'm blaming her telling her like it's your fault and not being a man I should have been to her during her pregnancy so for the first five or six months in her pregnancy I wasn't too active just to be honest with you and um Wow I had a wake-up call because I had no excuse my father was there for me my whole entire life I grew up in a good household and I was like man like I'm about to have a son and I refuse to be that guy no matter what the situation is with his baby mother and use that as an excuse or a reason not to be in his life and so I had a conversation with Maria and I said listen we don't have to be together we don't have to like each other but let's make this about our son Tristan and we both agreed on that and we came to an understanding and as time grew we grew closer to each other we got to really know each other and peel back all the layers of our past and everything and I mean we're married now for three years going on for wow man so you how long were you together with your first child just being you know co-parent couple not being together but just parenting about seven years seven years yeah Tristan's Tim yeah about seven years Wow so you weren't together in the seven years you just opened on yeah parenting off and on so probably about three of those years we were together okay three those together why'd you break up um well we didn't break up so the part the first the first fourth right we were just friends transparent off and on like friends enemies parent all of that stuff you know just the emotions and then we just finally came to uh for like a mature place so we're young I'm mature place and then we put all our differences aside and we realized like we really had chemistry and love for each other and we got to know each other on a deeper level and then that started our relationship and we've been together ever since Wow okay so three four years ago you you started their relationship where you've been together yep Wow you get married to or now when you get married to that now yeah we got married three years ago three years ago that's when you got young yeah okay so you got together and got married and you had second child may have a third one on the way yep third one on the way it's amazing man yeah yeah we definitely like I'll tell me well that song that story definitely beat the odds man just of having to go through that so I understand like co-parenting and you know when I talked to MIT I understand like having the troubles cuz Tristan he lived in any hapless for a while and like I was in Seattle plan that I was in Washington and then it was funny like every time I would bring them in and try to make it work I got cut so it was like is this like not meant to be and even being in Texas being away so I understand that but also like well I really wanted to fight to be in his life and it wasn't about making a relationship work for Tristan though at the same time because I knew that wouldn't keep us together so we had to love each other know each other kind of despite tryst you know I'm saying a lot of people rants yeah exactly it's a lot of people who will get into relationships are get married because they have a kid together and I think that's the key it's gonna keep them together and that's absolutely not already can Mike and bring you together but that child or children can not keep you together and we knew that so we have to figure out like we're not to keep someone together um I think in a relationship just first of all connection in certain selflessness and really understand that you really love that person like not because that's your baby mom or your baby dead of course that's a factor but I love you for who you are despite anything else right anything external of your internal self so we have to realize that and really come to grips with that when did you realize like oh this isn't just my baby mama yeah co-parenting but this is someone that I truly have feelings for our love her soul when did you realize the moment I can't remember the exact fill in our moment but I know was around the time when she moved down and she said she move down to Texas and she said it wasn't for me right that was she still stands about is about that day but you move down to your city she moved down the fourth because Indy she felt like no against anybody in Annapolis but just forward there's better opportunity and she always said well if it didn't work out with you there's other guys in the Fort Worth and takes us better than India so she so move down and when I realized that man is how once we put our image shortness aside and became mature how she had every right because I was struggling like she had every right in the world at that point to like beat me down I really could barely provide for my show my chalks I'm playing arena football I mean oh that is right this was a twenty probably 2011 yeah this wasn't like the owner in a football right yeah exactly I'm hundred a week exactly definitely for the love of the game at that point so I'm struggling with that I'm trying to train kids on the side and so I'm in a horrible position as a as a man not being a provider and she had every right to be like okay this is my time to shoot shots at him and tear him down but instead she build me up really big-time she build me up and she saw just by encouraging me like when she realized it I just started rehab like rehab time starting 20 in 2009 but this is the moment when I started to realize like okay this is something as far as me speaking and as far as a brand and building it and so she was there at the beginning with me making t-shirts and right and helping me write every single name on a package and going to the post office all a time and that moment and she was there for you even when you weren't together big-time big-time and um she probably started to feel like wow this girl's really got my back she really cares in the ugly and I'm not really treating her well and she's still there for me in the ugly moment because when I met her you know I was a football player that was my highlight so I could say well maybe she's with me because of that right because that's my beautiful my beautiful success but when it was the dark moment of my life my rock bottom and she was there still there for me and she was like she could even like rehab so I'm like no you to get a real job and what other people were telling me that she was like I don't know like what it is you're gonna do but I'll help support and I believe in you Wow with that so she like held it down that's for our household and so it was always my goal to flip in and be like hey you don't have to work anymore and and now she's an influencer herself but it's cool to be able to do that but yeah she had my back when when a lot of people didn't and so that gained a lot of a lot of like like a real knit cuz I'm big on that man like when you have nothing when you're going through something like who's really gonna be there for you who's gonna have your back and sometimes it's the people closest to you that you think would that wouldn't especially when it's a person that like she had every right to come back at me because how I treated her you know previously and during her pregnancy but she went past all that and say you know what I see some inside of you and I believe in you and I'm gonna support you and she never belittle to me never made me feel like less during that time some very inspiring what do you think what do you think it's about that's inside of her that made her being able to do that without being resentful or angry at you but actually put her feelings aside and support you like that I don't know man so we have to call her right now and that's good but um is that more of like a female quality in general or is that just like you got lucky with her on accident kind of I think it could be a human quality with people you know I'll just I mean it just depends on the person in their heart and I think she really had genuine you know love for me you know to like and of course I'm the father of her son her dad passed away when she was 14 and so maybe she thinks that you know or maybe she knows that you know make sure Trent's there you know as a man like I want to fully support and make him a best man he can be for for tristant lay together or not exactly but did she always want to be with you was that part of like her vision um or she like screw this guy yeah I believe she was attracted to me and I believe she wanted to be with me but I think you know after all the mess that was going on and that whole thing of within that you know span of years I think she got some for me she didn't want to be with me but I think it was kind of a conflict back and forth yeah yeah what do you regret about those couple of years where you were kind of the nastier version of yourself to her to maybe people in your life yeah maybe to yourself what do you regret that you did or said and what would you say to yourself if you could go back and talk to that guy man the things our regret is just hurting people you know you know how it feels to be hurt as far as like anybody watching this I know how it feels to be hurt so why would I want to put that on there people when I wouldn't want that put on myself by other people and so I will always tell myself me I know that's the simplest phrase in life but treat people how you want to be treated get a respect you wish to receive give the loyalty you wish to receive because a lot of people say you know I want Louis Albano ulti but they don't give loyalty you know or they don't give support I want people that support me well who are you supporting and so for me it's going back and saying oh be a reflection of what you believe in what you truly stand for and make sure you pass it on other people and set that tone yeah I think I talked to Matthew Hussey is a friend of mine he's a relationship coach for women they were so he'd told me one time like a lot of women will ask me like how do you find the one mm-hmm like how do you attract the one the person you want to be with he's like make a list of all the qualities you want from that person and then go be those things there's a write down every quality you want to attract from that person and start being that thing you know if you want a loyal man be a loyal woman if you want to giving a caring compassionate guy you know be that towards other people yeah and you attract that so that's powerful man Wow I'm curious to know you had your vision was your purpose was to be an athlete right as a kid you wanted to be a professional athlete yeah is that yeah for sure you're saying yeah but then things got off track and you got cut you play arena ball for 100 bucks a week or never get paid then whatever happened there did you get injured and you just decided this is not worth it well have a you know they have the UFL at that time yeah so the I got signed to the UFL so I left arena got signed to do a lease never happened right it folded and then that's all I was like all right and then I went and signed again with the Voodoo but I never made it to the Voodoo straining came yeah yeah and they're amazing you just feel like okay I'm not playing anymore I gotta figure out what to do next yeah when someone gets has a purpose or a dream that they pursue and they get a taste of it and then their entire identity shifts into something else how do they figure out what their purpose now yeah so I have a I would take about purpose and I want to touch on it and a lot of people I haven't really heard it said like this and it's actually in the book I actually wrote the book the chapter of the book and I went back probably much later I was like I want to take this I want to change it and so I get that question a lot right how do I find my purpose and my thing is this I don't know if purpose is something that you necessarily find you know I don't know if the world has your purpose right I think we go like where is it gives it down the street you know where do has it and so I think when when we look for it like that we can end up lost or finding something that might be a pretend purpose or something that are you know are once like I really wanted we say okay this is my purpose now I think you our purpose as a person that's what I've been saying enough when I said that it kind of changed my life so I say I am purpose you were born on purpose I mean of course you know the nerd statistics about like you the chance of you being you it's like 0% chance and your parents have to come together the sperms whatever so like I'm like your if you're looking for a miracle you're that miracle it's like do you realize that so you are purpose and when I really embodied that and really like understood that I realize that my purpose isn't rehab time because that can be lost my purpose isn't football because that can be lost my purpose is you know Trent Shelton and my pure who am I because when I understand that I can go in any placement right I feel owes our placements I can go in any of those placements and actually live my full potential actually make a difference actually use my life to bring betterment in this world and so that's helped me in the process of not getting attached to something and allowing something to become you know a temporary identity so I literally can leave here now and be that purpose I can go talk to somebody outside so you don't need all these different things yeah now people say well what's my what's the admin who's right of course we look for that wisdom what's the place exactly what's the placement exactly and I just feel like with that you know it's kind of a deeper soul search so like with me being a speaker I never want to be a speaker I thought man a speaker was corny you know I didn't grow up it's like I want to be a speaker when I grew up I wasn't in the person development like I was raised pretty much from hip hop to be honest with you you know and when I look back now I realize how many times like people have put the calling in my life for this or people have identified that because I'm naturally an introverted person but when I would speak people would say man like you're gonna be a powerful speaker I can probably name four or five times in my life and so I think that if you think it into you exactly in that magnet that you have inside of you you start to realize I call it the magnet because it's what attracts people to you and when you understand your magnet that's where your power is released so I realize like people identify my magnet way back then I just was too blind and too wrapped up into what I wanted to do that I couldn't even feel that so maybe a step that somebody can do like ask people like what it what is it about you that that grab it takes people like what's your magnet I'm sure people will tell you it's like oh it's your smile or it's the way you speak or it's the way you do this and that and then you just gotta go and do trial and error test it out try to get stuff yeah see what you like I think at the end of the day you can have a lot of people telling you what you could be good at - yeah but you it's got to resonate with you at the end of the day fulfillment you've got to be the one that says yeah I want to do that or I want to try that explore that and you're gonna figure out quickly like maybe if everyone said you're gonna be a great speaker and you did it for a year and you hated it yeah well at least I tried it and I'll have to think about it anymore and maybe I can speak in a different way maybe I can do these creative videos where I get to speak my message online but I'm not in front of a big stage of people so you can still figure out a mechanism in a different way with your gift yeah and try different stuff no you know maybe it's like you loved writing and everyone said oh you should go write books and you try it and you really enjoy the process but you liked writing movies you liked writing TV shows you liked the different creative process within that mechanism so yeah that's I think it's a great idea of saying I am purpose yeah it just empowers you now you're not like feeling like you're in you know incapable of doing stuff so how does someone when they figure out okay this is the gift that I have I'm born with purpose yes I am that purpose and I have this talent this gift this attribute that adds value to other all right so I'm gonna go start doing this thing but how do I actually believe in myself and develop a Champions mind if like I'm gonna do something at a high level Ryan how do I develop that mindset when there's so much competition yeah there's so many people who are better than me I'm so far behind I'm so young I'm so old I'm so whatever I don't have the resources yet how do I develop a mindset a belief that my purpose is something that I should go all-in on yeah this is a pack full question man go through layers in this so there's a lot of ways I mean I think one thing that you can do okay I think fear is a part of that right like fear like you might not go all-in because you're fearful love like you say you might not you know be as great as someone else or you might not you know succeed in that field so for one understanding what fear is which for me it's it's basically just creating a normal result from a situation you haven't experienced yet so you're telling yourself what is going to be before you ever go to do you're ever gonna do it so of course you're not gonna go do it you know so if you believe this result is gonna happen it's gonna be bad exactly I'm gonna fail I'm gonna look stupid and what's gonna make fun of me then you're probably not gonna want to do it exactly or be able to give your food like it's like playing football like if you go out there and like we're gonna lose or I'm have a terrible game more likely you have a terrible game it's gonna be hard to operate at high level so I've just learned to I always say like if fear was a door and behind this door was all this negativity things that I'm saying like I'm gonna lose I'm gonna suck I'm never gonna walk through that door so in order for me to walk through the door even though the door is super scary I have to make empowering things on this side of the door right I'm gonna learn I'm gonna grow even if I don't win it's gonna be some valuable in it so let me walk through this door right even though it might not be perfect I'm still gonna find growth inside of it so to me that's like a small little trick to like really hack fear and get over fear and also of course it's Brendan talks about this a lot like not just repetition but like really like focus repetition like finding the area and say you know what I'm gonna get better at this because sometimes fear comes from not being prepared you know I mean if we go back to sports if I'm going to a game didn't watch tape then do any of this stuff I'm people ready scared or taking the test you know so preparation also is a part of that and so I would just tell people oh you got it you got to figure out all that how to get over fear but just go out there and do it and one way to go out there and do it I use leverage questions with my life so I'll go all out bro like this might be over-the-top stuff but say so I was running running it was a saddle next to running I don't know what the trail was my friend took me on like a back trail and as I'm running you know it sucks it's uphill my heart rate is like zone five and I just tell myself like if I quit on this then I'm not living it for rehabbers if I quit then I'm putting a monster than myself that's a quitter and my son and my daughter are gonna feel that like I go over the top with it so I don't give up and so what leverage questions it can be anything I can meet a simple levers question that tomorrow's not promised that's one of the best ones right 150,000 people die every day tomorrow is not promised so if I'm not going after it then I'm gonna die incomplete well I'm gonna die being a person that I wasn't created to be like I want to meet the greatest meet I want to meet my full potential so I I told hub Thomas yesterday about I would literally go to cemeteries at one point and it seems super creepy like I'm weird but I will go to cemeteries after my friend committed suicide it def became so surreal to me because it was somebody that was like next to me I will go to cemeteries sometimes with my friend just walk around and be like bro we're gonna be here one day Wow and it's like you look at the tombstones you realize that deaf have no preference you know different ages it's five year olds or 80 year olds it's black it's white it's women as men it's children it's adults and it just made it super surreal for me so gain leverage right in your life like what's something that's gonna make you move that's all you have to do is move take that first step that's the most important step in the journey and listen you're gonna fall in your face you're gonna be embarrassed but everybody who's experienced greatness has been through that like you didn't get through a hundred million two hundred million downloads overnight right I'm sure you went through things you probably like I'm throwing this one away right so go through that and study people who have been through it to give you that confidence yeah that's good man how else do you develop a champion mind for yourself yes how do you push through your your dad you're gonna have three kids here soon you've got traveling all the time you've got book launches videos every day all this stuff how do you stay in that mindset consistently and do you drop off of her yeah of course I drop off sighs last year everybody knew I dropped off post videos if I could you gain weight I was like that's from last year sorry but um I of course like yeah I don't have perfect days you know I'm I'll be the first I had days where I'm lazy I have days where at times where I doubt myself all these things so everything I talk about like I could practice it myself sometimes I'm making video I'm preaching it to myself but how I keep a championship mindset is I understand these five principles in the championship mindset understanding these words that everybody's heard before but I think when you break it up I've studied high-level people like I've been around course athletes I've been around people as yourself and we all have these qualities like everybody has them so number one is commitment and commitment Stan loyal to what you said you were gonna do long after the movie sentence left yeah being your word exactly so when that move leaves who are you gonna be so some people might be watching this podcast is gonna be hype or whatever and like I'm changing everything which is great but we know in real life it's who are you gonna be called the New Year's Eve mindset right new year new me so you gotta find commitment and I would just challenge people like find something small to stay committed to I mean fitness is a great thing say hey I'm gonna go to the gym you know maybe two days a week three days a week and stay committed to that because if you can't be committed to the small things don't expect big results and big things now the second thing is discipline my definition that discipline is probably easiest definition ever I just get good at saying no to the things that don't get you yes and that's very hard because there's temptation out there there's just bad habits that are just waiting for you to start doing so maybe it's your friends maybe you gotta start saying no to your friends and maybe you know your friends aren't bad phrase it's just that when you around them they're not do the things that you want to do are they're not at a place where you want to go like I had to leave some friends behind not because they were bad to me it's just that hanging around them under that mindset was contagious and I knew I wasn't strong enough to be around them because I would fall victim to that lifestyle right so I have to let them go I'll used to like to pour like I said it would be like how'd you stop partying and like I was like I used to love partying and going out like I probably still do like it to be honest with you like it's fun but I just tell myself like where is this leading I'm six seven hours in the club and you know you're exactly and it's like where is this really going you know it's just like a false sense of fulfillment that actually moves me nowhere and so think about that like that's discipline discipline is you know you're saying no to the cake or the products you really love like discipline is not saying no to things you hate that's easy so it's saying no to the things that you love or you like that I'm gonna get you to a place where you would love to be mmm that's good third thing is the magic word for everything consistency yep and my definition of consistency is anchor your actions and greatness so daily you produce nothing less than your very best so when you're consistent you become reliable when you're reliable you become a trustworthy person people always ask train like what was your thing with the rehab time how did you grow I just tell people I'm a consistent and living the purpose you you've been consistent like consistency pays off consistency makes you a go-to person if I was an off-and-on person or came without off and on switching one minute on my page I'm talking about positivity and next one I'm talking about something just to go viral people wouldn't come there people come because I know trend is gonna talk about something with self-worth or something would grow I'm gonna listen to Louis because I'm gonna have somebody or even himself pouring into it so I know I can go here and also I can tell other people to go there because I trust the information that they're giving ya so be consistent like you know to be the most talented the most whatever but if you're consistent it will always pay off hmm love men the fourth thing is is faith and faith for me is believing the odds are beatable even when the odds say it's impossible and that's simply faith faith is just knowing that even though you can't see it right even though it's not right there in your face it's gonna happen it's the gardener's mod said it's being able to plant a seed and water the seed and you know you're taking care of this this seed and you don't see the growth happening on top of the surface but you have the mod said you have the knowledge to know that if I'm doing these things if I'm putting in the work if I'm you know creating the right habits um if I'm making the right sacrifices there's growth taking place that I can't even see and then one day boom right that fruit of that crop comes up I learned it from my grandpa because I was so impatient I'm like we just plant it like yesterday where is it and then next week and then I have to come back to visit him and then finally that crop would be there and he always told me is like there's something going going on beneath the surface growth taking place that you can't see and you have to know that growth is happening even when you can't see yeah and it's the same thing with your business every submission relationship health you gotta know if you're doing the right things it's going to happen yeah and for me that's always kept me you know focus just understanding that faith like man I'm doing the right stuff so it's gonna pay off even in Fitness I mean you you if a week or two you're not seeing major results but you know you keep doing it then one day you take off your shirt or you're running you're like man I'm tired yeah you know I'm good yeah so put in the work um fifth thing is heart and heart is finding the strength to give more even when everything else even yourself says you have nothing left and my demonstration of that would be kind of that that marathon mindset just I think it's like my nineteen they say right is like the mile or mile 21 just rushes up to you yeah just like I can't do any more but you keep pushing on you keep pushing through and you know everybody talks about the why and the reason and you have to use those leverage leverage questions in your heart because there's gonna be a time when life sucks it's gonna be a time when everything and your business your personal life might not be going right right when things hit the fan when the pressure is on your life but you have to know that as long as I keep pushing through as long as I keep moving forward the breakthrough is near right sometimes in order to have a breakthrough you got a dam there break down yeah that's what a breakthrough is right so that's the chamber chair Monson the things that I reminded I remind myself daily to practice and to keep in place with my life you're training for a marathon right now iMac is funny I'm actually running a half marathon on Sunday we're Rachel and Dave this was in Texas yes because they asked me and I was just like I say yes before I thought about it they asked me like a few weeks ago is like we're in the marathon you should do it I'm just like a half marathon I'm like alright but I've been I've been training like yeah it's just so nice I'll be fine oh yeah I was like I was like man I should do like weighted so I said yes first in Austin in Austin yo I think it's my weight go it's a Waco that's why I did it two layers of weight go so 'allah gist I was like cool you know I think it's powerful for us when we make commitments on things that scare us before we're ready yes then we get ready exactly I mean it's like ah maybe you didn't want to do that or maybe you're not ready for it but you had four weeks or whatever it is five weeks - okay let me get my my game to another level now let me be even more diligent more committed discipline consistent and believe that like I'm gonna push through by creating a routine now for this game plan for this exactly and so you've probably been more disciplined in the last four weeks then you work before that because you knew you had something at stake and I don't want to go through that process of like not being in shape or it cuz that's hard I think a lot of us don't have enough at stake in our life there you go we we don't have enough at stake Ness that's why I think it's important to challenge yourself every year with big challenges something that's like gosh can't I do that it doesn't have to be a marathon but make it started out at a 5k or whatever it may be you can start off with something or you can also write a whole book in a year but you can get started on something I think the bigger the challenge the more committed you become to your life yeah like you just step up to to something greater than yourself you see leave me to that faith you're like wow I've never thought I could do this but I gotta figure it out because I made a commitment to myself and I want to honor the commitment and when you follow through on some big challenge like this for yourself you gained so much confidence and belief and poise and grace and when you continually do that week or month or year after year you just become better and better you become the greatest you when you have big stakes in your life I believe no I definitely agree with you on that bro so it's like it's almost like okay I had the baby before I was ready to get married so then you like leaned into it and you grew up and you got ready for for the marriage in the relationship but that was a big big thing bro big probably it's probably not the best way I would tell you to go hey yeah nobody's that as you're saying but you're right though it may be you wouldn't have risen to I wouldn't know who you are now I wouldn't without having a child I'm gonna have fun in the next 10 years I wouldn't play around on you I wouldn't have you're right I mean absolutely I've said that like Tristan may mean like really become a man in mana because my life became bigger than me and somebody else's life depended on me like for the first time of course you have your brothers and your family but you know but like having somebody directly that's your responsibility like it made me man up he made me look at myself and be like I don't never ever told you this but like the first thing that I told Tristan he couldn't talk about I told him in my head you know I don't want you to grow up to be like me and that like hurts as a father you know I'm saying and he's gonna cuz he's gonna the whole saying you know uh listen to what I don't do it as I do listen what I say whatever that been like okay like no kid ever does that they're literally watching what you do their example so you need to become the example that you're speaking into and everything and even though like I like to see him watch me you know a day where'd you go I ran six miles and just planning that all I'm doing this I'm working so he's seeing that and he's saying that example so now you know he wants to go do more he's seeing what it takes I'm like oh and play sports no more and I'm having to do this so you want to make it to NFL you better start getting on it you know but now he's seasoned at me I'm not just talking and I'm living and that's the best way of influence is to actually be like an example mm-hmm you talk about burning bridges yeah why do we need to burn bridges in our life and what does that mean yeah so let me be clear let me be clear about this part you don't need to burn every Bridge in your life right if there's an argument there's something that like don't burn certain bridges but there are certain bridges in your life that leads you back to destruction that leads you back to pain that leads you back to a toxic place in your life those bridges that don't serve you you have to burn them because don't don't think you're so strong that you know you can I can I can have this in my life I'm strong enough not to go back here no you got to let it go you have to literally like burn up the boats right and let it go so what are those bridges in your life maybe it's friends maybe it's habits maybe it's addictions maybe it's your mindset you have to burn those bridges because when you do that you have no choice now but to move forward and build the bridges you like that need to be built like I wouldn't be able to build the bridges that I've built with you that I build other people if I were to have these same bridges I can promise you because I wouldn't be in this world my mindset wouldn't have brought me into a personal element when they brought me into doing what I do now so I had to burn certain bridges what um what can people do to evaluate those parts of their life should they get theirs write a list of like their Josas friends family of like habits like what are the things they should be thinking about so a simple thing that they can do is write a list of always say bits people are habits to write a list and just put a dr e by write a D is for drain then he is for energize yeah and that's it and so if somebody is actually like a CD like consistently draining you then those people don't need to be in your life it's just facts if somebody's consistently draining you if nobody there never pouring nothing into you and you're always porn into them you're gonna be empty right a relationship should be reciprocated it should they should pour back into you so are they consistently drink now you're gonna have people you're like that drain you that need to stay there it's it's gonna have that but there's people in your life that are you know consistently bringing drama gossip problems to you like you're never happy you're never fulfilled around them you have to let those people go and then energizes are these people bringing energy to my life positivity into my life bringing growth into my life even though they might not tell me everything I want to hear they're telling me things that I need to hear the challenge in me they're making me see or bigger vision like when I talk to some of my friends like and some of my peers I don't want to hear what they have to say sometimes because it's exposing me but I love that because I know in that exposure I have to grow from it yeah so that's an easy way to do it just make a list of the people in your life first and then maybe the activities in your life the habits the addictions things like that and so does this give you energy or taking ya drain or energy in a great way with your friends check your text messages your text message groups like I literally had to realize that a lot of my text messages with certain people like I would do the history I was just let's see we're being talking we're talking about not it's nonsense then go anywhere and then I have a group of people where we're talking about goals growth family things that is awesome or of these conversations in my phone and less of these so you can tell the person's lifestyle by their text message threats straight up Wow look at your text yeah okay now you've gotten to a place in your life it seems where you've got such clear energy I mean since last time I saw you're no longer much we've got like clarity in your face like your skin is different your eyes look different you've got this energy this focus you've got you know this book coming out the greatest you've got ten million plus people following you and listening hundreds of millions of views family is healthy thriving what's the greatest challenge for you at this point in your life to get to the next level or what do you face was is there a demon in your life you practice these things for a decade you're on top of it you've eliminated all this stuff what do you do next is it I'll just maintain this or their new demons or challenges that come up for you oh man it's a deep question something let me let me think about them for the real will the real demon what is the what is the what is the thing that challenges you maybe it's in your marriage maybe it's with your kids maybe it's with family it's comparing yourself to other people I don't know what's the what's the thing that you struggle with in your mind you're constantly have to play a game with yourself to say no that's not what I want hmm probably I don't notice a comparison but I think be the growth and success thing like for me so what I mean by that is I gotta figure a way to like really where this is a great question and I'm glad you asked this so for me it's always making sure so I'll paint a picture like this of course growing up my definition of success was totally different now right it's it was making money exactly miss exactly yeah so even with that part of it it's like I have a business I have employees that take care of right so of course making money you have to make money if you have a business or you have any business but for me it's of course I'm getting this massive growth and I feel a lot of times it's you know it can take you to a place that you don't want to be at right that resists like we're just from the standpoint of I'm gonna take doing things that I get your morals because it's not that deep but you know the celebrity the the attention that you get it like all the extra stuff that I don't care anything about you know I don't I can honestly say that because I've had those things and those things didn't fulfill me so I'm the guy that's like you know shying away from that yeah so for me it's like I think it's just that that that part of it is like being content wait I'm trying to worried this right bro this is tough being content with where I'm at right and I'm realizing what life is about or better yet I'm sorry I'm trying to put this in the right words it's just straight of real so better yet it's about am I am I being I'm gonna say the word lazy but being content with stuff right versus being like should pushing how much do I need to push right I have that battle because it's like okay I mean it's just so hard because every single doubt crate videos I create videos every day I can impact people I can speak and all that but is that really worth it and so Bob golf has this quote I should have just said this at the beginning to make it easy but it's great I'm Perry I'm paraphrasing it but he said like I don't wanna be successful at the wrong things and his quote is a lot more beautiful than that but I'm just paraphrasing I don't want to be successful at the wrong things it for me it's like what a success really mean you know am I know I'm impacting people's lives and it's great but at the expense of what like right now I'm not at home you know what my kids obviously my family and so it's like it's that battle though I just chill and relax and be okay and say you know what this is fine let me just keep doing this or do I grow but I know in growth a lot of other sacrifices are gonna take place so what is the greatest you then is it constantly reaching the next level and impacting more people and I don't think so or is it being content and living like a balanced life and and making sure you're healthy and happy peace is the greatest you yes I feel like my piece man that's that's I don't have any piecing of all the success what the point that's where I'm at like I've that's the definition I've came to in the last year with success is like it's peace is getting to my core self like I'm interesting like who is Trent Shelton at the core without all this stuff over the last 34 years that's been added on and all these ideas in the world like I'm just like hungry for that because I know at the end of life I asked myself this question a lot and I don't know why lately but I'm I'm always asking myself what really matters like at the end of life what's gonna really matter I don't want my mom being sick that I really opened my eyes up to a lot it's like what really matters and I don't want to get to the end of life knowing I lived a life that of course I made a lot of impact but I didn't make the impact in the places that I should have made it so that's why I was saying what youth sports like I want to get into that that's cool and everything so that's the battle man and it's a lot because everything's coming at you every type of way so it's like am I being lazy I'm not going exactly how I want for my where I should be yeah exactly I do is there another level another level and like some people are that drives them like the next level next level but like how many next levels if you're losing yourself in the process of doing it so like that's what if you're reaching the next level and you're not losing yourself you continue to explore yourself and you unlock new things and yeah growing so maybe that's an answer for each person is different for everything so I think is your definitions in your meetings in which you want yeah out of life yeah cuz I don't have kids right now but I could imagine like I'm getting all I'm 36 I just turned 36 and I'm like when I turned 30 I started I looked at a baby differently then when I was like 22 yeah I saw a baby that's like huh like yes kids were cute and I liked them before but I was like I like almost cried that's a little bit just like seeing a baby cuz I could see what I could feel like being a dad and 36 like I feel it more and more I I still have the desire right now that yeah it's but I feel like okay one day this is gonna probably change my life yeah for sure my whole priorities would probably change for sure for like a deeper meaning of family and yeah like intimacy with like a small group of people and making sure I want to be there for them I can only imagine like once you're away from your child for like a weekend or a week I'm sure breaks your heart yeah and that's why like I sacrificed so much in that like I'll be like no I don't wanna do that even if it's like financially like good and great I'm like no because at the end of the day I know what Tristen Maya my boy or girl is gonna remember and so like I'm flying back lay there on the red-eye just to be at my son's called a gator ins like a little run they run around the school just to be there it was it's not a track meet or whatever but I want to make sure that he always knows that even despite everything I had going on I was always present in his life like so success to the world means absolutely nothing to me if I'm not successful to my world alright so that's that's and so that is the the balance factor of my life and trying to figure out that like I'm the type of guy where I probably could be like somewhere on an island somewhere with my family and like disappearing and be good yeah this is with just the normal stuff but then there is a side of me too that I know requires me to fulfill the calling I have in my life being in the spotlight or making these videos like that doesn't I'm an introverted person about not naturally my best study used to give me anxiety but I say this other day being in a crowded room I still feel alone at times that's type of dying and so but it's my calling and I know that I was created for this and I'm to do this so I had to walk into it and if it fills me by the way like it's not like I'm doing this yeah I hate it but that's just who I am so sometimes I want to fall back and be like I don't need people on Instagram and all that type of stuff like Facebook but then I understand people need me so oh snap that's a whole nother thing it's part of your purpose it's like yeah if you're in an island by yourself would you be doing a disservice to your purpose exactly so it's kind of balanced trying to figure out the balance for yourself like be content with the impact you're making and happy with what you're making now and also being present for your life and your family and how much to push that's interesting it's tough man I think our mind plays tricks on us too yeah it's like what is enough there you go I asked that's that's a great question I asked that question actually when I was here last time and I went to all this thing I was going to New Zealand I have them on the camera I asked everybody in the audience that question like my VIP and again when I said what's enough and everybody gave their different answers yeah like what's enough money and your bank accounts no impact what's enough and will it ever be enough Jayco tackles that did he has only we saw that video of Jay Cole he talks about that like he talks about like the the basically like being a hamster on the wheel and just like the running for the next level of the next level this you know you get this money next level and he has a great video about that I feel like I feel like it'll never be enough in the sense of I always want to give something to humanity yeah yeah like I'm always wanting to be working towards something to help people whether that's helping two kids at a youth program coaching them as opposed to trying to coach the world or if it's continually impacting more more people are serving people through a product or a service whatever it might be but it's like even if a billion dollars just planted in my bank account I would still want to do something for people yeah I don't know it's not a necessary about the money anymore now that I've got money but it's about showing up every day and knowing that I'm here for a reason and fulfilling that I am purpose yeah contribution yeah the contribution and that wise it's like what's the point so it's never like it's not about like what is enough it's like how much are you willing to give how much how much can you consistently give yeah I think I don't know I think this well you can also make sure your present for your family and the things that matter the most so you're not just giving all your time and energy to strangers but your how much can I give to my family how much can I give to myself how much like can I give to others yeah prioritize like my top priority like its peace and it takes and I know I lose a lot I put like I lose a lot of gain in the external realm of stuff but I prioritize my pizza's smart so how how can I have peace in my heart and how much can I give with peace in my heart maybe yeah it's like once I start to feel stressed and overwhelmed then I need to pull back and go back to peace yeah maybe that's the balance yeah I think so yeah inner peace is should be the focus exactly I mean without it life yeah how often have you felt a lack of peace in the last 12 months maybe a few times yeah I'm more like a day or two movie yeah I'm more cuz I'm more conscious of it and what I want with that like and I set my day up for that like I mean I literally set my day up like before 12:00 like my family knows that it's like my time like just for me because I better me cuz at first my wife was like like before 12:00 like I saw you can call me obviously but like let me take this time for me so I can come back home a better man for you and a better father because if I'm frustrated if I'm not as I do my Forte's as I'll call them and take care of that and get my workout in I'm gonna be not the greatest me I should be for you so let me be the greatest me and so I love to give people their there a long time their self-care time to be positive to be selfish so you can come back a better version for me so I'm like okay cool go to the spot like do that please so when you come back home to me you know you're refreshed you're at peace and it makes it better yeah so and she's my wife has realized that and see how like how better I am for her and for the kids what are your forays so the forays some really simple but it works so always how you start your day influence you today obviously you have a great video about that so a great book to write yeah and so the first a is appreciation obviously wake up gratitude thank God think you know whoever you think thank them you know appreciate it for life it's to is affection always say hug a day keeps depression away so I usually hug my wife my kids you might not have somebody and go hug your coworker or something be weird at first and uh three is accomplishment so set your dad for a wind so do something I used to dunk a basketball on a seven-foot go so we got rid of our goal it made me feel powerful I started Monday off with a win so that's a accomplishment three accomplishment at four is activity and that's usually my workout so I always say uh you know movement is is very critical when it comes to mental health like move get outside nature heals and I'm protecting your piece so that's like my protecting my piece thing so I call it like protecting my piece protect the piece it's right I like that man and I think everyone should be focused on themselves first otherwise you're not gonna have anything to give anyone else exactly like the piece why can you dunk on a template rim or no right now yeah I probably can I got to get warmed up there's too early no more yeah maybe like I was 25 but not like okay it's different now takes a couples warmup I love this man make sure you guys get this book the greatest you trans got some of the most inspiring videos online right now and a lot of other friends with Jay Shetty and Prince E and a couple other guys but your your on the top of inspiration with Rishi everybody man so make sure you guys check this tab the greatest you following money Instagram Facebook that's where all of his videos are you and YouTube too yeah that too it's just Trent Shelton yep yeah so make sure you check all a lot of stuff out I think I asked you the three truths last time but I'll ask you again what uh if you could leave the world behind with only three messages three lessons and no one had access to your content any more because you got to take it all with you when you die trade billions of media video views with all these great messages books you create everything you want your life but at the end they take it with you you can't leave it behind and you get to leave behind three truths all right what you say is the three things that you would leave behind for people to to be the lessons you would leave behind number one it all starts with you self responsibility the world owes you nothing that's where your power is number two would be check your peace mm-hmm and number three would have to be your life isn't over so what do you mean by that just no matter what you're going through in your life no it's not over it's and other stories another chapter sometimes in this storm you know we feel like it's gone it's done but your life is never over until it's over over so you always got morning you can always rewrite a new story exactly just turn the page every day's a new beginning every day's a new page I love that man what's who's your biggest inspiration right now in your life someone you know is someone you don't know outside on my family because that would be like a typical answer um biggest inspiration hmm Jake oh yeah who's go top who's Jake holt yo Jake oh maybe I've seen no Jake oh okay well he's I mean he's top rapper I mean outside of Drake Caggiula I'm sure heard the music yeah you for sure you yeah for sure you heard uh yeah middle child so um but yeah J Cole just for the simple fact that I loved his message I just love to see people at such a high level but don't lose himself like I saw a picture the other day he's riding a bike in New York getting his hair cut out of just a local barbershop yeah you know so and he's always giving back just cool things and he just does everything against the grain you know as far as like going against the Machine and calling other things I need to be called down just the person like you can be a regular human being and still do great things so that's cool kind of like I like his message man of course I love his music music so it's kind of on the people that I'm like absolute I like what you doing that's cool man well I gotta acknowledge you transfer for showing up man and constantly improving your life because last time I saw you you're still doing big things but I see your health on another level getting to meet your wife it was cool to just see that you know you haven't let this success and the fame and all the people following you and praising you hold you back from like having this strong bond with your wife your face time before we started it's like I love seeing men keep a tight bond with like their family that keeps him grounded and like keeps a focus so I acknowledge you for all that man I acknowledge you for doing the challenging thing and writing a book it's not easy yeah and for everything you do man you're set an example for running distance it's not hard man yeah all the stuff you do is not easy so I acknowledge II for not allowing your success to make you lazy necessarily on your health and your relationships and things like that and I'm not taking the easy way out man so thanks man analogy for all that make sure you guys get the book follow Trent Trent Shelton is that try and shelter in a rehab time what's a trench shelter but I mean you're gonna file rehab Tom - yeah let's show them selves my mayhem yeah everything final question what's your definition of greatness what's my definition of greatness you do what you were created to do then that's greatness and being who you're created to be t-money you say to brother house [Music] [Music] [Music] [Music] you

Channel: Lewis Howes

Views: 41,483

Rating: 4.9010081 out of 5

Keywords: lewishowes, the school of greatness, podcast, 2019, interview, tony robbins, sucess, money, business, millionaire, secrets, how to, trent shelton, relationships, rehab time, motovation, lewis howes, nfl, Show the World Your Greatness with Trent Shelton, relationship, your life it not over, friendship, know your worth, your heart will heal, are they really your friends, loyalty, Rehab, mel robbins, oprah, ellen, motivation, success

Id: W8s5q0Jm5Q8

Length: 56min 52sec (3412 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 29 2019