If You Feel Fear or Anxiety, Listen to This | Trent Shelton on Impact Theory

why do you think it's important to move towards things that scare you because on other side of that is your growth another side of that is strength even in going through pain like I look at pain as a positive thing I'm not talking about putting yourself through pain on purpose but it's just like working out you know the only way you're gonna get strength in your life is if you go through that hard moment that tough moment I wouldn't have a story if it wasn't for the sucky times in my life I wouldn't have a story if it wasn't for me going through my depressed moment so realize this just because it's a chapter it doesn't mean it's your whole story so for me I just understand that it's very important to embrace pain to go through it because I believe the foundation of all strength is pain [Music] thanks for tuning in to this episode of impact theory sponsored by our friends at Skillshare enjoy the episode everybody welcome to impact theory today's guest is a former NFL wide receiver and one of the biggest social influencers on the planet is roughly 10 million followers on Facebook alone gets hundreds of thousands of shares per post has a cumulative social Reach of nearly 100 million people and he's generated more than 1 billion views worldwide he's considered by many to be one of the most impactful speakers of his entire generation and as a result he's been invited to bring his unique blend of motivation wisdom and performance art two stages from the u.s. to Fiji to South Africa and just about everywhere in between a powerful orator with a home gift for spoken word he's able to get through to a lot of people that otherwise feel alienated from the very idea of self-help with a raw no-holds-barred approach that absolutely drips with authenticity he draws people in and gets them to take responsibility for themselves and begin taking the concrete steps that will help them actually improve their lives so please help me in welcoming the founder and president of the nonprofit organization rehab time the author of the greatest you and the only man I know that can make poetry sound cool as hell Trent Shelton welcome and thanks for having me this is great now you got people out here in force for you today dude cool love man I appreciate it no question getting to know you has been really really cool I the first time we met you were really quiet you definitely made good on the the notion that you're secretly an introvert yeah for sure that is true you're not somebody who needs the spotlight but you've done an extraordinary job of impacting people's lives and the whole notion that you have of your perspective can be your prison I find really interesting and I think a lot of people would have leaned into this while I'm an NFL guy I'm introverted never going to get up on stage it's never gonna be my schtick how did you come to be the person that we all know today well with me being an introvert it doesn't mean I'm shy you know I always like to tell people like I think one of my greatest abilities and I think one of the greatest abilities of people is being a listener and so I'm always observing I'm always listening I'm always you know looking out for a new idea so when I'm quiet I'm usually thinking you know and my grandma told me this a long time ago and I'll never forget it bless her soul she said when you speak make sure your words count and people will listen and so I just try to make my words count when I speak and I never want to be a speaker man it wasn't like I grew up was like that's my goal I want to be a speaker you know now it wasn't that it was a we get into the story but it was me lose my NFL career and kind of getting forced into a stage that I didn't want to do it but my friend forced me and I found my power and that moment was like aim this is what I was created to do like I really knew it you know that feeling and ever since then man it's been history now the first time you spoke was in front of 5,000 people yeah the first yeah the first big one and so like that's pretty crazy like walk me through if you're not because you've said that that was your biggest fear getting up and for sure people so how did you get to the point where you could walk on stage like that I've done a lot of speaking 5,000 is a big number like that's not foreplay and it was kids so that's even worse man you know cuz I'm like I know teenagers I know how I was when I was a teenager I'm like huh so my friend his name is Jonathan Evans and he reached out to me and he talked me into it man and I was like he used the notion of are you scared this whole process and I was like it's like it's just five minutes and you know you first started speaking five minutes seems like five hours so I say you know what let me do it I said I can go up there talk about sports they'll think it's cool and I'll get off the stage so that whole night before like I prepared it like it was a like a literally a rap verse I knew everything I was like I'm gonna hit him right here I got it memorized I am good so I get to I get to the event and I'm backstage and Jonathan comes up to me is like are you scared and I was like yeah bro I'm really scared right now he was like man don't worry about it man they love you they love you he's like pleasure I got tattoos out they'll just relate to you I think you're a rapper anyway so I get on stage and I remember looking out and 5,000 kids were looking at me and gave me that look in my eyes was like what is this guy to talk about and I literally grab the microphone and I went blank I forgot everything I prepared stage fright and in that moment I remember telling myself this you got a choice right now either you can fold or you can step up either you can sink or you can swim in steak and I just said go from the heart and it connected with those kids like I've never seen before those kids were quiet their eyes were big after I got off the stage they were asking me all these questions about life I'm like I don't know everything like what and in that moment I was actually supposed to go to New Orleans the next day for an arena football I'd sign with him and I say you know what I'm not doing it and I called the coach and the coach that he like literally hung up in my face it's like what you gonna do is I was like I'm gonna be a speaker Rehab time he was like what's that and I was like just gonna be a speaker man he hung up quick it's like good luck and he hung up and then I called my friends and my mom and those conversations didn't go like I thought they would go you know it wasn't my mom she was supportive but she was worried out of protection and that's when rehab Syme started I didn't have any followers and I walked into my purpose like what out that's really stepping out on faith in fear and I did it there's so much there I want to talk about I want to get back though to something you said that I never picked up on in your story before you said that he came at me your friend who got you to speak you got me saying like is this a fear thing was he like poking you about it like oh man come on you can't be afraid of this right yeah he was using that like the man thing right are you scared and I was like no I'm not scared and he just kept on like coming at me and Jonathan he's the type of guy that it's hard for you to say no to like he's just he's just the guy to get you to do things in a positive way and yeah he used that against me as like man I know you like if you was to rap you won't be scared playing football you're not scared like this is to impact kids like are you so scared and I was like I'm not scared I just don't want to do it you know this I want to play football I'm not a speaker that's not my gift he was like I think you surprise yourself and literally him pushed me on that stage changing my life forever it's incredible I love that he came after you like that and I don't actually don't know how you feel about that the using tactics like that to me I'm all for I used it myself for sure like when I don't want to do something I'll push myself to toughen up man up like you know whatever language people use but that's for sure what I tell myself do you use those kind of techniques on yourself how do you get some big time I call them leverage questions and I gain leverage on myself all the time even when I'm speaking backstage I'll always tell people as a speaker I think if you're nervous if you're scared you're too into yourself you're worried about you you worry about how you're gonna sound and as a speaker your job is to be a servant your job is to go out there and serve them stop worrying about how you look how you sound and get more into serving and so I would tell myself like you're being selfish right now I was like I don't want to be selfish you know and so even when I'm scared I have fear I'll go to the point where my kids like I'll go there like my kids depend on you like I was actually running today by Runyon camp and I was like if I quit on here I'm quitting on my kids it's just things like that keep me pushing us as a sports player I think it comes from that background yeah leverage questions I'd like that yeah leverage questions why do you think it's important to move towards things that scare you because on the other side of that is your growth another side of that is strength even in going through pain like I look at pain as a positive thing I'm not talking about putting yourself through pain on purpose but it's just like working out you know the only way you're gonna get strength in your life is if you go through that hard moment that tough moment I wouldn't have a story if it wasn't for the sucky times in my life I wouldn't have a story if it wasn't for me going through my depressed moments so realize this just because it's a chapter it doesn't mean it's your whole story so for me I just understand that it's very important to embrace pain to go through it because I believe the foundation of all strength is pain all right so speaking of chapters I think that one of the most interesting thing that anybody can put themselves through is becoming a professional athlete yeah and I get that it's sort of wrapped up but you talk a lot in the book about a Champions mindset yeah how did you get to the point where you could push yourself as hard as you did to get into the NFL I mean that's that's really extraordinary yes that was just at about the number of people that actually get into the NFL it's less than 1% it's like point zero zero zero point it's crazy and I told my son the other day he's like I'm gonna make it to the NFL I was like you better be working hard and 99% of the people in the world you know it's very very hard if me it was all I ever wanted a new it was like no other option for me so that's the powerful thing about tunnel vision is that when you really focus on something you really want it it's very possible but the thing is a lot of people aren't willing to go through the hard times put in the work when nobody's looking I think I tell my son all the time I'm like okay you want to track practice but guess what this is something everybody does what are you gonna do that your teammates aren't doing because you don't have to just be the best on your team you got to be the best in your city the best in your state one of the best in the world to be able to make it so it's a whole different level of commitment and that's where that championship mindset they came to me from I want to talk about that so I don't know how much you know about Will Smith but watching him from afar has been really really intriguing and he talked about on when they were doing the Karate Kid with his son yeah and a son got hurt like he injured his knee and will was like on him he's like you got to get back out there like you got a push and Jaden's response and he was way young so yeah like cut him slack but he was like I want mom and like goes over with his mom the people like will why are you pushing him so hard he said I'm teaching my son how to hunt yeah and I thought like gives me the chills now like I thought that was really powerful how do you think about that with your son do you do you worry about pushing too hard you worry about not pushing enough like what does that relationship look like so with Tristan I push him but I want him to want it I don't want him to want it because daddy wants it for him because to me that's great but if I got to push you to do something I'm there to support you but if I got to push you to do it it means you really don't want to do it so this whole process on these ten years old and people thought like you know you see kids playing at five and six and their dad is like you know going super hard on their kids and I get it but at the end of the day I want him to want sports I want him to want football like you want to be a doctor that's fine with me but you got to understand the same mindset to be successful you can take that in any field so you're gonna play sports for the simple fact that I know this can build you up for whatever you want to do it teaches you perseverance it teaches you how to handle pressure moments it teaches you how to work hard the ethics of like sports is great but at the end of the day I'm like Tristan I can want you to be a superstar but when you really want it like when it's like what you want to when you wake up at 6:00 a.m. without me waking you up when you say hey I want to go work on routes without me telling you that's when you'll be a beast and that's when you'll be super successful at it when did you start wanting success in football that badly when I was 6 wow man was right over that probably want to be better than my two older brothers but what really helped me was blessed enough I was able to live across the street from a professional football player and it made it very tangible for me seeing like cuz you know you're growing up you see these sport your heroes is like you know you think they're not human and so I was able to humanize like the dream at that moment in my life I'm like oh this dude is just working hard he's running around the block just like other people and I got around that my uncle he still coaches for their Chargers but he was coaching even back then when I was a little kid so I was blessed enough to be around it I got to see Jerry Rice I got to see teal and so it made it real for me so I'm like if they can do it they breathe just like I breathe you know they just work hard and I just want it and so at that moment I realized that it's super possible but I knew I had to put in the work to actually make it a reality for me did I love that I wish I had encountered that when I was young the bad news is I don't know that it would have resonated with me when I was a kid yeah I was not prepared to push myself physically to get good at something when I was young it was always about the easiest path for me and I think about this a lot with people in my community and I know you'll get this because you have such a thriving community yeah but the one thing I come back to all the time is I can't want it for you it's right and so the thing that haunts my dreams is how do you help people create desire and should you what do you think about that like so there's the whole Buddhist phrase that all of suffering is born of desire which I actually think is true and yet I think some of the greatest joys are born of desire and so my thing is I've gone all the way in on desire you like building desire to want something to need it even though objectively it like there's really nothing to it how do you think about want and desire well the leverage that I use with my supporters is I mean at the end of the day people say I train you changed my and I'm totally against that like I'm like I didn't change your life I'm not a life changer I just plant seeds like you had to make the decision to actually apply and actually do it but I use the leverage question of when you get to your last day on earth when you're sick are you gonna look back and realize that you wasted your whole entire life settling for Less not being who you're created to be even with myself like I don't want to look back on life like that I don't want to go to my grave with an incompletion so I talk to them like that summer you are gonna go to your gravesite when in completion I don't know who said this quote but they said you know the richest place on the world is in the graveyard and it's true because there's so many dreams talents and visions in there that people for whatever reason fear you know just life they never unwrapped those gifts and when I talked to them about that I used to actually this might seem weird but I used to actually go to the cemetery yep and I would bring one of my friends with me and um I would say bro we walked around there's like this is reality like we're gonna be here and we walked around and we looked at the tombstones and like death has no you know has no age there was people that were three people that were 80 and it's like I'm gonna be here one day and when I'm here I want to have a fulfilled life I don't want people to talk about me at a funeral and make up stuff I wanted to be like Trent really served this world and he really used his life not just for herself but to impact other people and so I'm just I know I'll go back to leverage but I'm big on that and that like flips the switch for me like Tom is ticking and so you either can waste your day you can do something with it one of the chapters in your book if I'm not mistaken it was the last chapter is about legacy yeah how do you think about legacy I like personally I don't think a lot about legacy I think a lot about phases of our lives so I I fully resonate with what you're saying about walking around the graveyard I would love to do this someday that would be sure it real but how do you conceptualize that do you have markers in your head about what you're striving towards like how deep do you go and sort of the like we're all headed to the grave yeah I don't I don't get to the particular parts of it like you know like how my funeral he said I like crazy so I don't get that end up but I do think about like the question that I asked myself and it's come up a lot more to me you know and I haven't figured out why but asked myself you know like what really matters and there's a quote by Bob golf and I'm probably not gonna get this right but he said basically like his biggest fear was like being successful at the wrong things and the quote is like way more beautiful than that but I'm paraphrasing it's like I used to ever fear I'm not succeeding but my fear now is succeeding at the wrong things and I think about that a lot like what's really gonna matter at end of my life and I literally prioritize my life around that I heard you say something once you want to talk about I'm in a butcher one of your just insanely eloquent beautiful quotes but you said you're not a success unless you're a success to your family yeah and I thought that was really interesting something because I don't have kids I don't spend a lot of time yeah but I do think a lot about what my wife thinks of me like that's a far more powerful motivator to me and then you talked about how basically how do you feel about yourself and if you don't feel good about yourself then you've got some fundamental flaw that you need to address how do you help people begin to take stock of where they're at with themselves reality so I have a rehab process and the first R is reality its facing reality too many people run from it you know my quota is you'll never win your war by running from your battles and so you got to step up and you got to face it I don't care what it is it might be something in your past it might suck to face it for me it was facing that my dream was over my identity so for somebody watching this it might be a relationship it might be a job but I kept running and the thing about it like you can run all you want but reality is gonna be right there when you stop and it's going to chase you or even if it doesn't chase you're going to be right then you have to face it so I really let people know that acknowledgement is power people think if I acknowledge that I'm hurt or I need help i need help is the most powerful thing that you can say and i realize that in my life because immediately you have people that are gonna help you and grow your life exposing yourself like in a positive way obviously but expose yourself we think that we always have to be so sheltered that we have to be so strong especially with the social media world it's like or have to have everything together that's like a silent depression that's gonna happen will you suppress things like that when you smile for the camera but died behind the scenes which I did so well for so long in my life you're never gonna fool the person that you see in the mirror every single day so I'm not really comfortable with saying I suck at this I need help and literally in my business life and my personal life in the last year it's been a greatest fear in my life just by asking for help and exposing my weaknesses in certain areas yes interesting your obsession with authenticity with being really who you are at all today I think is is really cool to see you get the kind of community that you've gotten around that being vulnerable and opening yourself up but what I find really interesting is you're also the flip side of the coin so as you were talking I was like he's absolutely right but the reason that I'm willing to listen to you about is because you're also driven you're trying to improve yourself you are trying to be great you are trying to be strong and tough you're just not afraid my favorite yeah like how do you do both I just I'm real with myself and I'm honest like we're humans you're gonna hit me everybody isn't on all the time you know we all have our struggles our silent battles as I like to call them and instead of ignoring those silent battles I let them out but yes I am a person that's will tell you make the world respect your greatness I'm very firm on that I'm a person that believes in myself I'm a person that wants you because I believe that's contagious like even with social media I feel like that's what really grew my platform is people looked at my life not because of my knowledge or whatever it's like Trent really believes this like he really does he really lives it he really he doesn't just talk it or type it he lives and that's a big thing for me you know I can tell people a secret right be transparent like in a real way because that creates connection now it's like I can relate to that person you know growing up in the church I'm gonna be real true Tom like I would watch pastors and preachers and I would be like I could never be them because it was always perfection I was like I can never beat them so I just chose a different lifestyle but now when I see people like say you know what I struggle with this I struggle with addiction doesn't mean you're not awesome because you have addictions everybody has addictions everybody has about battles some people just hot there's better so I relate more to that because now it be comes attainable now you become relatable to me and I can be like wow like I can still go through this it's nothing wrong with me I'm a human I'm gonna have my insecurities my flaws and I can actually grow from it so I think we need more examples of the world of that and that's what I just try to give people as much as I can you ever yeah great way of like packaging things up in these really memorable phrases one that you said earlier that I want to get back to is you said a lot of people never unwrapped their gift yeah and that really hit me what is that look like like how does one unwrap their gift yeah it's it's a process is the process of I think facing fear I mean you know we can talk about fear for like because facing fear is is super important we can talk about like my process with that I think in order to unwrap your gift so I'm not gonna go into my Scott life story that'll take forever but I realized like what fury is right and for me fear is creating a known result right from a situation you haven't experienced yet and so when I used to go back to football when I would be scared to go out there and perform I would be like you know what I'm gonna drop the ball I'm gonna miss a pass and the whole crowd of 80,000 people is gonna be like hi so I'm like I'm scared now stage when I'm on stage before I was speaking what do you think I was thinking I'm gonna freeze up again nobody's gonna care all of these things I realized that I was creating a result before I ever experienced it and so I said hmm if that's the case I need to create something better on the other side of that door something more empowering that's gonna force me to actually go through the door so now when I speak I say you know what I'm gonna impact at least one life so go out there and do it you know when it comes to my skydiving of course that thing was the pair of shoes not gonna open you're gonna die course you're not gonna jump out of plane but I immediately changed that so this is gonna be the most incredible thing and also leverage where now I can use this in every area of my life because I'll conquer my biggest fear so people out there that are going through fear for moments it's kind of like this you will never step into the ring if you're already telling yourself that you're gonna lose before the fight you never do that like why would you right so tell yourself you're gonna win even if you get knocked down guess what you're never knocked out in life until you actually tap to your last day so figure out that leverage point what's your fear what's gonna help you walk through the door and then you have to just give it to the world I never knew speaking was my gift until I actually went out there and failed actually went out there and embarrassed myself and I realized like wow this is what I was created to do and I knew that because I like to put it like this and I hope they get it that's watching this but I've never had so much like peace in the midst of like fear never had so much confidence in the midst of like my weakness in that moment and so when it comes to gifts think about it like this like when someone gives you a physical gift like Christmas in your birthday what do you do you unwrap it you show it to the world you put on Instagram you got that same gift inside you that the world needs and you're doing the world a disservice by leaving your gift wrapped up somebody needs your story my mom told me this and I'll never forget he said Trent you're assigned to reach people I don't know how many but you're assigned to reach people that nobody else can reach but you she said everybody has that and the more you leave your gift wrapped those people that need your message that need your encouragement whatever it is they need your talent they're never gonna get it and you're not gonna leave this world a better place I know people watching right now are thinking one question what is my gift yeah I want to unwrap it all day long yeah how do people identify what their gift is enough to be able to unwrap it this is a this is a good question this is deep so can we talk about purpose for a minute and go into this so this is my way of purpose and I've never heard nobody talk about this and some people might be like that's not right but everybody tells you to find your purpose right and I'm just like we're like who has your purpose like the world doubt the world has your purpose the world might have your validation of who you are they might be like oh you're great at this and so they give you that validation talk about this in the book I believe and I realize this like last year you and I actually wrote this chapter I went back and not changed at all because I'm like I'm telling people telling people to search for purpose I believe you are purpose I believe you are purpose you are created for purpose like we noticed that cyst is like a 0% chance of you being you you are that so you operate from there and it gives you that confidence that I am that it's not something out of search for you can take your life wherever you want to take it what you're looking for is placement right it's like so for me rehab time is not my purpose it's my placement I can take Trent to down the street and go impact lives because I am purpose right football if my mom was right back then I could use that platform to be Who I am so you can take your life anywhere and I want people to know that because some people think when you lose your dream or you lose something that it's over but you didn't lose who you are you lost that thing that placement right you so that's what I think about purpose and I would tell people like understand what your magnet is and when it comes to that ask people and so when I look back over my life ever since I was five years old people have been telling me I had this gift but I was so focused on what I wanted to do yeah I could even hear that yeah that's really interesting to me the notion of the difference between what you want and where you thrive that's definitely using my words not yours but yeah that whole dynamic is interesting another thing you've said that I'm really drawn to is I figure you were talking at one point and you said hey if you've got like a garbage part of your personality don't pretend that it's not there don't pretend it doesn't need to be improved like address that make the change yeah and that like it's that realism of you've got like the the painting the picture of the dream and the gift and you are purpose and all that but also recognize that you have these really dysfunctional parts of your personality how can people address a dysfunctional part of their personality yeah I think you have to you just have to face it and deal with it like I think it's just too hard to suppress it it's too hard to ignore it and so you have to be honest with yourself and truthful with yourself and I think a lot of times what it is is for me I was expecting things from people that I wasn't giving to people and so that's very very selfish you know so I had to look at myself and say you know what this part of my personality needs to be changed and needs to be fixed so it's that reality that you have to have with yourself and that that truthfulness and not knowing that it doesn't make you weak by admitting these things it doesn't make you less by admitting these things and I'll bring it back to social media because justice generation it's the filter life you know like even in real life like everybody wants to put up this filter and they think that's their superpower but your superpower is literally just being real and that's where you grow at like you have to acknowledge that I need help in this area I have thoughts I have flaws right here let me fix these things and that's gonna make you more of a superhuman you just mentioned suppression if yet about how suppression leads to depression yeah talk to me about that why does that happen and why does it matter it matters a lot you know just even for me even to get to that point of understanding that you know my college one of my best friends committed suicide and that changed my life like when we talk about going to the graveyard it was right around right after that time when I sort of think about life and what's going on and I realized that he was suppressing so many things he didn't have an outlet and I mean we take from a physical standpoint I mean if you keep suppressing something what's gonna happen it's gonna explode at one point and so what you don't face are things that you know you don't fix and so for me it's about letting it out you know a lot of my videos people don't realize like therapy is not a weakness especially as for men like go to therapy having somebody you can talk to have a Brotherhood a manhood have somebody you can same thing with women you got to have your clique of people where you can have open dialog without being judged to be able to let these emotions out because those if you don't deal what your pain your pain will definitely deal with you it will and I've been there before I've been like I said the person that would say I'm okay when I'm not okay when I was sitting my mom's room my mom would say Trin are you good yeah I'm good when I wasn't good at all and I got to those moments where I don't know if it was suicidal thoughts but I didn't care about living if something happened to me might be better off because my life is over that's the way I felt and so I had to let those things out in my way at that time was music with your mindset how are you dealing with your mom's cancer yeah it's hard it's very hard mom had cancer and what made it hard was she beat stage 4 liver and breasts and I'm with her at the at our last treatment she rings the bell she's like Trent I don't feel it's on my Instagram like she's where she runs the bunch of this trend I don't feel some don't feel right my mom like all right you just sing your mind she goes to the doctor that next maybe 2 days later and they found out after a test that she has brain cancer so at that moment I'm like it's not fair you know and I started questioning my faith and I have to do like a deep search and a deep dive of you know understanding and and finally perspective my perspective was my prison at that point and what were really helped in my perspective and I wish they wouldn't helped but it did my best friend's mother died in her sleep didn't have anything and so I told my mom I was like mom as much as this sucks you're still here you having to go through treatments means you're still alive that pain means you're still alive and that's the perspective that I'm taking with it now like there's people who wish they can have this pain there's people who wish they could you know be alive to even feel cancer and she's progressing with it though and it's hard man I'll tell people all the time I don't know the exact words even tell people how to how I'm dealing with it you know I'm just trying my best to be strong for her and try to see the beauty in it wow that's interesting I did not expect you to say that how do you see the beauty in cancer and in anything like that well it's for me seeing that she still has an opportunity to overcome it and I think you know is that is that power of perspective in that and saying you know what her life might not be how she wants it to be but at least she has life and that's how I look at my life at times and everybody should look at their life yeah life might not be adding up to what you wanted to add up to but at least you have another every single day is a new beginning every day is a new beginning and certain days aren't gonna look like you want to look but at least you have another chance like a hundred and I tell us that all the time 150,000 people die every day it's 55 million people a year if you're looking for a blessing put your hand over your heart realize that your blessing you have another opportunity a life and that's why I'm so intrigued it's like geeky probably but I'm so intrigued with sunrises and sunsets the sunrise lets me know that I have another day and his sunset means I made it through another day and so I'm I love sunrises and sunsets and I thank God for it it's really interesting you just hit me with that because today in particular the I had so much to do self-created I don't ever have to work again if I don't want to but I had so much that I had allowed to be on my plate that the sunrise was almost frustrating for me because it meant that time was going by and I just wanted it to stay dark and I wanted to have more time to work and get something done as you were saying that's like Padma that's a really powerful perspective shift to like one simple difference of framing of like you know wow I'm here I have the opportunity to have a lot of my plate and to dig through it that's just and it was a point like that's funny you said allow a lot on your plate I don't know where rapper is I think it's Lil Wayne I think he says like a lot of my plate is not my favorite dish she said that and I think it's a genius line because I'm like that is like that is true because there are times like cuz I went I go through these moments like I'm flying everywhere and I'm just like I should I gotta fly here like my book is like this is crazy and I caught my something like bro like do you realize the life that you have right now there will be times like you dreamed of this you know even a course I thought it would be football but like you dreamed of this you didn't have nothing on your plate and you were you would pray to have anything on it so don't get you know of course what I don't want to overwhelm myself with stuff but don't complain when you have too much on your plate because there's people that have nothing on it and so that those are the perspective shifts that I use like a lot every single day every time I'm complaining I go to that like you're blessed to be able to be in this position like you wanted this this was your dream you know so sure you talked about mental health earlier yeah like so okay you hiked for your own mental health what are other things you workout like a is that is that a mental health we're sure for sure walk us through what are the things you do to really take care of yourself so I guess to put him in a framework might seem corny but I called the phrase and it's simple I mean of course there's science behind it with the brain and oxytocin and dopamine all these things that were released but so I started with appreciation for me like appreciation so for me that is whatever it is that day appreciation for life and my breath my kids whatever it was roof over my head all of those things thank God for it the second thing that I do and I do these I try to do them every morning when I don't do them I can definitely feel a difference the second thing is affection you know I give my wife I take my son to school every day give him a hug get my daughter she's awake a hug because I always say hug a day keeps depression away hugs hugs really help you like this science behind it and then the third thing is accomplishment so I always set up one win for me whatever that is that could be I used to it's funny I used to have a basketball goal if you're at the store but had a basketball go outside we got rid of it but I would put a hike on seven foot because I was like I can dunk to him but I was like it's early in the morning like I can't jump that high early in the morning I would dunk it cuz you ever dunk the goal you know a ball before not very low but how'd it make you feel yeah good right it makes you feel like good and powerful you know so I would dunk it is starting my day I start my day off with power and we got really go so I can't do that no more but that would be my my win I always have some type of win whether it's right in the journal and then the fourth thing is activity which is me working out me training so before 12 p.m. for me is me being selfish in self-care like my family knows everybody knows before 12 p.m. don't hit up Trent unless you really need two dudes starting with power that's really rad to me about why that one I think it's so cool that you can you know yourself well enough to know that lowering the hoop to seven foot and Duncan the out of it yeah it's like gonna actually make you feel some kind of way because dude I'm the same way like whether it's putting on music or you know doing something like that where it's like yeah I still feel rad like even though objectively like Kobe be laughing exactly like it's still there's something to it what what's the usefulness of that well I just believe in the in in these words how you start your day will influence your day so if you roll over and you know of course grab your phone like most people do I do sometimes and I feel the effects of that because now I'm living a responsive life now I'm not controlling life right now life has taken me where life wants to take me in some plat times that place isn't beautiful I've learned by being around incredible people they're very intentional with their day and how they start their day they lead life they till life where life is gonna go so if life gives you stress and you're responsive you're probably having a stressful day but if you're intentional life gives you stress you kind of have a armor already in place to like ah okay I'm bulletproof to that right now I'm gonna keep on pushing and keep on pressing so how you start your day will influence your day those are words that I wake up to every single day in my head it's like start your day off with powers you can operate throughout this day with power and it usually works out in my favor I love that yeah I think it will work out for anyone who tries it yeah the greatest you yeah tell people where they can find it yeah the greatest you you can go to the greatest rebook dot-com of course my website trentshelton.com and all my social media I had trench Ellison so any and anywhere that sells books has it yeah the book is fire appreciated socials are insanity and the book I think is just another way to consolidate all that and give it to people yeah so people like your socials they're gonna love the book thank you really did a great job with that all right what's the impact that you want to have on the world I want to make sure everybody knows that they're enough no matter what they go through what they've been through that they are enough the number one cause for anything is people not knowing it they're enough they feel like they're not enough so when they run into me anything that I do stage book video I want them to leave there knowing that despite life-sucking right now despite this chapter I am enough and so when I leave this are people said Trent really care and he let people know that you know they can really make people confident their self-worth and who they are as a person then I think that would be a great legacy for me to leave you know one of the things that I tell people is that you know just because you had some bad chapters doesn't mean your story can't M well and every story has bad chapters it's about you find the strength to turn the page even with my faith I believe this that God would like to go through places you don't understand just to bring to the place where he needs you to be and so hold on to that in your struggle and your journey and your pain and then turn your pain from your worst enemy to your best friend do that use paint a little usual how do you use paint well my life is a perfect example I flipped it and now I help people get through that because I've been through it you know if I handed you a map and I never hiked the trail I say hey Tom go hike this trail I never been I mean I don't hand you a map I say Tom go hike this trail but I never been on it you look at me like ain't hiking that trail but if I say hey I hike this trail that's how you do it here's a map you would take it you would go through our confidence and so when you go through things when you go through the experience you become an expert at it right and you help others get through it so you go through it to help others get to it so there's a purpose greater than your pain I promise you that everybody the map maker Trent Shelton thank you guys I'm telling you this guy is every bit of accolade he's ever received he's earned every shred every follower every like every share it's astonishing dive in it will change you if you let it he's extraordinary all right if you haven't already be sure to subscribe until next time my friends be a legendary take care brother holy appreciate it that was amazing you're amazing what's up impact of this if you want to acquire new skills or improve the ones you already have then you're going to love this as you know a huge part of my life is about acquiring skills that have utility and exist in service of something greater than myself and that is why I highly recommend Skillshare Skillshare is an online learning community with over 25,000 classes across more Skills than you can imagine at impact theory we view skills share for things like project management marketing analytics and even for comic book and today Skillshare is giving the first 500 people who click on the link in the description to three months to their entire library of courses that's 60 days access to literally thousands of courses on whatever topics you choose for no money at all you just have to click on the link in the description below and join the classes that work for you and you will be in very good company as one of the seven million people on Skillshare and should you decide to stick around beyond your free trial an annual subscription to Skillshare is less than ten dollars a month that's nothing for a skill that can very well change your life so go ahead and click on the link in the description below to start acquiring those skills today and until next time my friends be legendary to take care if you want something if you have a passion in your heart fire in your belly it's gonna be you it's gonna be you getting up early it's gonna be you staying up late it's gonna be you running the miles and go into the gym and eating the kale and doing all the crap that you don't it's only going to be you

Channel: Tom Bilyeu

Views: 394,146

Rating: 4.9245119 out of 5

Keywords: Tom Bilyeu, Impact Theory, ImpactTheory, TomBilyeu, Inside Quest, InsideQuest, Tom Bilyou, Theory Impact, motivation, inspiration, talk show, interview, motivational speech, Trent Shelton, Trent Shelton & Tom Bilyeu

Id: BI1P14gjqKI

Length: 42min 5sec (2525 seconds)

Published: Tue Jul 09 2019