So you're fast. Oh, yeah. Real fast. heheheh Whoosh! Well, if the fate of the world ever comes down to who can win a 500 yard dash, I have your number on speed dial. Ohhh heh heh heh ha ha ha ha I actually like that. OHHH!! Whoopsie daisy. HA HA HA HA HA Joker! Sorry. Look at us. I have you. And you've got none of your super friends here to save you because, uh you fired em all. So uhh looks like it's time to say goodbye. Oh, wait Maybe there's something you want. What? What do I want? What do I want? What do I want? Uhhh let's see. How about we take off that mask and reveal your identity on TikTok? Or how about I drive your little tank car into a preschool? The possibilities are so FUN!! HA HA HA HA HA HA HA You're sick, Joker. Yeah, I am sick. What else do you expect from a man whose raised by a narcissistic mother who let her abusive boyfriend beat her sweet little son? That's me. Only for that trauma to manifest into a disorder where he laughs uncontrollably at Inappropriate moments HA HA HA HA like that. Hold on. What? What do you mean, what? That’s why you laugh? It's a medical condition? Yes. I thought you were just insane and maniacal. Yeah. No, it's, *cough* It's just a disorder. The Zoloft helps. Zoloft, helps? Yeah, but you know what was maniacal those THUGS who stole my sign from my sign spinning job. You were a sign spinner? It was a soulless job and THAT turned me into the homicidal maniac you see sitting before you. Because, you’re from spinning signs. Okay, here's Here's what happened. Okay, so the thugs stole my sign. Yeah, ok that you were spinning. And then I chased them to get my sign. You gotta get that sign. And then they beat me up with the sign. Okay. Was it like a big heavy metal sign? No, it was cardboard. They hit you with a card, like a cardboard sign? Yeah, but it was a really thick ply. Yeah. You know, like a moving box, you know what I mean like an Amazon box, but really, you know what I mean? So you're spinning a thick ply sign, and some riff raff took it, bopped you with it, and now you have to kill kids and sh*t. Well, the trauma of the whole sign spinning incident twisted my guts, traumatized me. Then I started carrying this gun around, you know, to protect myself. And then it went off in the children's hospital and I lost my job as a clown. And then... Hoooooo Hold. You worked as a clown? hahaha Well, yeah. I mean, how else do you think I can do this makeup? Yeah, cause you could never just freestyle that. This is a lot for me. It's like finding out Scarecrow was Scarecrow because he played Scarecrow in a production of The Wizard of Oz. Just f**kin kill me. I'm sorry. F**kin kill me. Shoot for the mouth hole. You want me to shoot you? Yeah. Why? Cause the more I learned about you, the lamer you get. And I'm getting lame by association. IT’S WAY COOLER THAN THAT! Is it? YES!! Let's go flop shoes. Okay. I got one for you. Okay. You know what’s really, really devious? Please. Something. Give me some. How about this? I dated my girlfriend for a whole six months, and then, I found out she was imaginary. Isn’t that cool? I just. I just want to be very well heard on this point. Eat f**kin sh*t. Sorry. Eat f**kin sh*t you clown car, valet. NOTHING was better than this. Me just, falling asleep, WONDERING why you might be the way you are. Is better Then this bullsh*t Lifetime movie that I being forced to sit through. You’re not TAXI DRIVER You’re MUST LOVE DOGS. OKAY! ALRIGHT! How about this? Please. This is some really twisted stuff. I want to believe. Here it comes. Before I was the Joker. Yeah. All I wanted to do was make people laugh. This is good. This is on brand. And so, I became a stand up comedian. You were an open mic-er? So I did some open mics and I did some bringer shows. Three drink minimums, that kind of thing. And then I got on late night, and the host mocked me on the air, on national television. HA HA HA It sounds like you just bombed Yeah, no, I didn't bomb. I just. They didn't get how funny I was. So, I shot the host in the face. Most comics just, you know, retreat into improv. Okay, uh well, when I didn't kill, I killed. HA HA HA HA HA Ohhh, God. We deserve better. Gotham deserves better. Puns? Come on, kill me. You hack! Alright, STOP!!! I'M NOT A HACK!! I’m not a hack. **music playing** What, what what? What? **music playing** What is this? Are you doing the Elaine? It's my dance. It's a physical manifestation of the stepping into my. Stepping into my new life of evil. Well, I didn't know you do interpretive dance. You you you are cool. **music stops** Really? NO! What the f*ck is this? BumpityBoo’s vlog? You’re lame. Hey, shut up! WE LIVE IN A SOCIETY! Oh, great. Your greatest contribution. A meme no one gets. You're gonna die worse than the ERMAHGERD GERSBERMS girl. F*ck this, I quit. I PREFER JARED LETO.
