Bartenders Share The Craziest Things People Told Them While Drunk (r/AskReddit)

bartenders have read it what are some of the things drunk people have told you while completely hammered had a regular get drunk and recount a dream he had once about Freddy Krueger several years later I'm having a conversation with someone about dreams in that same bar he just happened to be sitting next to the customer I was chatting with fairly drunk and idly listening to our conversation so I decided to try it this one time I had a dream that I was being chased down the street by Freddy Krueger then while he was chasing me he grew really big and would cup his hands over the Sun he would do it really fast and there was this crazy strobe effect this was nearly exactly how he had originally told it to me about halfway into the story I noticed him look up by the end of it he was standing tears in his eyes scared to death that we had the same Freddy dream yelling no [ __ ] way dude no [ __ ] way are you serious are you [ __ ] with me right now yeah dude I'm [ __ ] with you you told me that story a few years ago and forgot I had him going though the story pretty much ends there we had a good laugh he let the relief wash over him we went outside and smoked I think he might have said good one at some point I might have told him there's no such thing as Freddy at some point my favorite was a regular who came up to the bar for a glass of red wine at this point he was not yet a regular it was his first time here I poured the elderly man a nice glass of Pinot Noir told him a little about the wine in the history of the building the bar is in built in 1604 course he seemed interested in it he was we chat a little and he is overall a pleasant but quirky old man at one point he looks at me and says you must know I have a gift I can read people's past not their current past but previous life's I can't do it with everyone but I'm getting strong signals from your past would you like to know yours we are now joined by another regular of mine a girl I was actually trying to get weather the time but the sadly never happened I pull the man another glass pour myself want to because this is about to get Curt he tells me what he sees and feels in my past lives there is one life he can see very clearly but it's a bit shocking he stares I tell him to go on the girl is asking all kind off in your face questions she's being a little annoying honestly the old man ignores them or answers them if she can and tells me about this previous life our lived he tells me I was an Irish boy I have a big red beard go figure and that my family in died Feld Island during the famine we got on a boat to New York my mom died on the boat and I joined a gang in New York I eventually died in a gang fight with a rival gang sounds familiar right well when the man went to the bathroom I checked and indeed Gangs of New York was on cable the night before the man comes back and the girl and I play along he tells me some more details about the movie I mean my previous life I go along with his [ __ ] until he stops talking about it then the girl turns to him and asks in me can you see my previous life he looks at her takes a sip of his wine and says yes yes you were a monkey I'm a bartender slash waiter at a restaurant in puto Rico after hurricane I'ma be owner bought a huge ass power generator so we wouldn't bail out of business we were fine for a few days before we got our asses kicked by hurricane Mario I was able to get back to work five days after the Maurya hit and holy [ __ ] I have never had such an emotional day at work I worked for 12 hours straight selling bottled water and sodas due to the dry law after about maybe the eighth straight hour working the place started to empty due to the curfew there was military in forcing people to go home before nightfall I was cleaning up the place when an older gentleman Vietnam vet and coincidentally a die-hard Steelers fan just like me came over for a whiskey sour at first I told him I couldn't sell it to him because of the dry lure and I could get in really big [ __ ] trouble turns out he's friends with all the military surrounding the area and he had permission for one drink I served him the drink and he just straight-up asks me how are you man how's your family that destroyed me I hadn't seen my parents in days had no cell signal so I couldn't call him I had just moved in with my gf and after the storm she had to stay with her mom because she lived closer to her job I was incredibly alone and felt hopeless I just started crying and talking to the guy and eventually calmed down but holy [ __ ] I needed a good cry somewhat related I used to work in a bar across from a large hospital I had one guy spend a lot of time in the bar while his wife was in the hospital across the street having a difficult childbirth he told me my Martinez with a best and promised to name his child after me uh of course dismissed this as the drunken ramblings of a madman came in a couple weeks later and showed me the birth certificate of his daughter she had four middle names one of which was a feminized version of mine to this day I'm kicking myself for not asking who the other three were named after I wonder if any of them were other bartenders been a bartender for years have old ladies trying to pick me up pretty regularly I've had drug dealers slide me fifty dollar bills have had people try to fight me because I cut them off or it was last call the craziest things is the people I see cheating or the people that I learn are swingers I live in a pretty small town so it's weird to see I've had some bad experiences but I've also had some great ones I took social work in college as a stepping stone to get into policing but had kind of given up after not being able to find a job in social work I was serving some guide the bar top and suddenly he calls me over and of nowhere says you're into policing eh I was pretty confused cause I hadn't mentioned it at all and I've never seen this guy I asked him how he knew he replied I've been a cop for 30 years we know a cop when we see one and this motivated me I explained my situation and how I couldn't find a job and he gave me a bunch of tips and pointers on how to get into policing and I was just really appreciative he was sitting there quiet all night not saying anything till suddenly he bursts into conversation like that I was pretty confused but he was a great guy I have had so many bizarre people walk into the bar I work at it's a really small place that people enjoy drinking quietly at over the years I've had a range of odd topics from a restaurant owner admitting he never sold fresh food to people unless they knew him to a person admitting stalking and eventually assaulting a woman which made him move to a new city lots of people end up talking about how they have no one to talk to about their problems so I guess they finally come for telling a stranger who doesn't have an obligation to care I used to be a barman at a private function venue often had people who did okay but consider themselves as rich and incredibly wealthy these middle-aged / older men would brag to a 19 year old about how much more money they earn for me and that I obviously made some mistakes to get there being the slippery bastard that I am I'd usually converse and listen ask questions about how they got to be so successful and quite often they'd give me a good luck in the future tip worth it it also taught me a lot about discussing what you earn don't man so many to choose from here I'll give a few of my favorites the time this woman was talking to me and started to complain about her boyfriend's penis he was sitting next to her she didn't notice the time some drunk guy gave me an I D that was obviously fake I denied him and he said no it's fake it's fine but my favorite happened when I was actually a cocktail waiter when I was 19 this smashed country woman grabbed my shirt and pulled me into to try and whisper but was basically yelling while pointing at the guy next to her at the bar she said I'm going to [ __ ] this guy he looked confused and replied I don't know you what made it so funny was the guy's girlfriend was on the other side of him staring daggers at this woman extra story when I was a cocktail I actually got knocked out by a drunk guy who tried to punch another guy but was so drunk he miss wide right and made contact with me when I came to he was underground by the bouncer and apologizing to me I felt bad for that guy there was this guy at the bar a few weeks ago he was lonely and his face was completely hazy he stayed until closure time without saying a single word beside what drink he wanted usually I don't but this time I had lot of pity for the man so I offered him the last round he was the only client left when it was time for me to go home he asked really politely if I could knock him down and that he will give me 50 euros I started laughing but quick after I realized he was serious so I tried to ask what's up and why do he wants me to do this told him that no money will make me hit an innocent man he didn't answer but he thanks me then moved on I called the police to describe the guy and let them know my fear that he does something stupid to himself no news from him or police since so I'm sure everything went good that night thankfully I once had a military guy probably about 26 who was a regular at the bar I worked at last year he would come and alone to chat with my coworker and I have seemed pretty lonely this bar was in a smaller town with not a great scene or much military presence anyway once lone nightly comes in right before I'm about to close and asks me for a whiskey sour I make it for him but before I can even give it to him he looks up at me with the saddest face and says I have something to confess I take steroids I was pretty speechless so I said up at least it isn't heroin and on the next breath he goes I take them up my ass I've never told anyone that and slumps down in his chair I have no idea if he had a bad sexual encounter or if the weight of his ooze was just too much to keep private anymore that I honestly felt bad for the guy wonder where he ended up I have two favorite stories the first one is one time while I was working my husband stopped by to visit me and he was flirting big-time the guy next to him who was plastered leaned over and attempted to whisper but ended up shouting she definitely wants to go home with you but I don't know how if you noticed she is wearing a wedding ring tread lightly my husband started laughing and said well she is my wife so I hope she wants to come home with me my second favorite story was when this girl came in with this guy the whole time he was this sleazy [ __ ] to her constantly putting her down and touching her inappropriately even though she constantly told him to stop later he went to the restroom and she admitted this was their first date and she didn't know what to do she was really scared then she went to the bathroom just to get away for a while when the guy came back he poured something into her drink thinking no one saw right as she was coming back I picked up her drink and dumped it on his head and told the bounce of what happened I have never seen the bouncer happier that when he literally picked this guy up and threw him out the girl and I are now best friends and my favorite slash most fucked-up one from a girl in her late twenties early thirties we had a function hall upstairs huge room with its own separate bar the toilets were on the ground floor one level down this cute very drunk girl came to the bar and said that the room was a bit smelly and that we should check the toilets downstairs the loos didn't smell but there was a strong miasma of [ __ ] in the air so I had the joyous task of investigating turns out a guest who we think must have done a lot of coke had struggled to find the toilet despite the signs and had tried to use a small lift instead but had run out of time and just [ __ ] herself so she had taken off her tights wrapped up her [ __ ] and put them in someone else's never found out who did it so we could only assume she had left straight after that by taking the stairs past the loos early had to really match her looking the reams come into the bar one night they were doing some hardcore gay bashing about an hour later after some serious drinking we found them in a dark corner of the bowling alley making out and pulling each other's clothes off I had one guy who claimed to have studied sociology psychology while in the Army started telling me about how much he knew how much about soldiers brains and made it clear he was actively analyzing me and testing the reactions of my co-workers it was very uncomfortable as I'm already aware of how screwed up I am and complex as I have but hoped it wasn't that obvious he did tip me though so he's definitely far from the worst customer I've ever had regular quiet fellow usually stayed for one or two pints and then headed out it was several weeks before he opened up he wasn't hammered when he told me it was really just conversation but he had killed a guy while driving under the influence he started coming to my bar after he finished his prison sentence he seemed pretty damn choked up about it I always wonder how he's doing I got out of the business though lost touch with the regulars

Channel: ToadFilms

Views: 102,285

Rating: 4.8911862 out of 5

Keywords: craziest things, drunk, while drunk, craziest drunk stories, craziest, things, bartenders, bartenders of reddit, bartenders share, reddit, askreddit, askreddit funny, top posts, top posts of r/, r/, r/askreddit, reddit top posts, reddit cringe, comedy, reddit compilation, top posts of all time, askreddit question, askreddit top posts, ask reddit, askreddit reading, subreddit, reddit stories, best of r/askreddit, funny reddit, best reddit posts, best of reddit, ToadFilms, toad films

Id: OvHpK4BmXtg

Length: 13min 49sec (829 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 27 2019