Awkward Puritan Double Date

>>HEY, THANKS FOR PUTTING THIS DOUBLE DATE TOGETHER MATT. I CAN'T WAIT TO MEET YOUR NEW ROOMMATE. >>YEAH, DON'T MENTION IT. >>YEAH, ACTUALLY, WHERE IS HE? I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE LEFT THREE HOURS BEFORE YOU DID TO GET HERE. >>OH NO! DO YOU THINK HE HAD CAR TROUBLE? >>I SERIOUSLY DOUBT THAT. >>HOW COME? >>OH, WELL. >>BECAUSE ANYTHING FASTER THAN A DONKEY IS CLEARLY THE DEVIL'S WORK. TRIBULATION, YOU KNOW THE WAY HOME. [DONKEY SOUND] >>[DONKEY WHINNIE] >>I APOLOGIZE FOR ALL DELAY, BUT SOME DEVIL WORSHIPPING MOTORCYCLISTS ATTEMPTED TO PASS US ON THE FREEWAY. >>OH, DO I DARE ASK WHAT YOU DID TO HIM? >>I TURNED THE OTHER CHEEK. >>GOOD FOR YOU. >>TRIBULATION HOWEVER DONKEY KICKED THEM BACK TO THE FIERY INFERNO FROM WHICH HE SPRANG. >>UH, HI. YOU MUST BE JEDIDIAH. I'VE-- >>ENOUGH WITH THE FORMALITIES. NOW WHICH OF YOU IS TO BE MY BRIDE? >>OH. >>AH, THIS ONE COMES FROM GOOD STALK. HER STRONG LEGS WILL BE MOST USEFUL DURING THE FALL HARVEST. >>ALL RIGHT, EXCUSE ME? >>JEDIDIAH, PLEASE. >>THIS ONE, HOWEVER, HAS PERFECT HIPS FOR CHILD DELIVERY. >>OH. >>PLENTY OF WOMB FOR THE CHILD TO GROW, BUT NOT ENOUGH TO SPOIL THE CHILD. >>AH! JEDIDIAH! LISTEN TO ME. THIS IS JUST A DATE NOT A WEDDING AUCTION. >>WHAT'S A DATE? >>IT'S WHERE YOU INVITE SOMEONE TO DO AN ACTIVITY SO YOU CAN GET TO KNOW THEM BETTER. >>YOU KNOW WHAT THAT SOUNDS LIKE? IT SOUNDS LIKE-- >>IT'S NOT THE DEVIL'S WORK. >>I WAS GOING TO SAY IT SOUNDS LIKE A WASTE OF MONEY. >>IT OFTEN IS. >>HEY! >>JEDIDIAH, WOMEN LIKE ROMANCE, NOT BEING COMPARED TO LIVESTOCK. >>I SEE. [CLEARS THROAT] ROSES ARE RED, VIOLETS ARE BLUE, BOTH ARE USELESS. PLANT SOME WHEAT! >>OKAY. YOU NEED TO WAKE UP AND STEP INTO THE 21ST CENTURY JEDIDIAH. YOUR VIEWS ON WOMEN ARE EXTREMELY ATEQUATED. >>YEAH. LET ME GUESS, YOU'LL ONLY BE HAPPY IF YOUR FUTURE WIFE BEARS YOU A SON. >>YEAH. >>ACTUALLY, I WOULD PREFER A DAUGHTER. >>REALLY? >>YES, BECAUSE SUFFERING IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL. AND NO ONE SUFFERS MORE THAN A MAN WHO RAISETH A GIRL. >>OKAY JEDIDIAH. WHY-- WHY DON'T WE-- WHY DON'T WE PLAY SOME MINI GOLF OKAY? >>OH YES! I WOULD BE HAPPY TO BEAT YOU UNTIL YOU ARE CLEANSED. >>NO-- JEDIDIAH! >>NOW REMEMBER, A SANCFITIFED PERSON IS LIKE A SILVER BELL. THE CLUB IS USED TO HIT THE BALL INTO THE WHOLE. IT'S A GAME. >>I HAVEN'T PLAYED A GAME SINCE I LEFT MY PARENT'S ESTATE 29-YEARS AGO. >>GROSS. HOW OLD ARE YOU? >>29. I LEFT THEM AT 7-MONTHS. >>7-MONTHS OLD? >>DON'T BE RIDICULOUS. 7-MONTHS IN THE WOMB. MY MOTHER WAS NOT ONE TO CODDLE HER CHILDREN. >>WHAT? >>IMMEDIATELY FOLLOWING MY BIRTH THE MIDWIFE PROCEEDED TO SLAP MY BUTTOCKS AND THEN MY FATHER BENT DOWN AND WHISPERED INTO MY TINY EAR, "YOU CAN CRY NOW, "AND OPEN UP YOUR LUNGS OR "YOU CAN HAVE MY RESPECT. THE CHOICE IS YOURS." >>CLEARLY THIS WAS A MISTAKE. LET'S JUST GO GET SOME ICE CREAM. >>OKAY. >>THE UNNATURAL FREEZING OF CREAM OUTSIDE THE WINTER MONTHS IS AN ABOMINATION! FORTUNATELY, I BROUGHT SOME OATS AND TWIG THORNS FOR OUR DELIGHT. >>OH. >>YEAH, OKAY NO. >>NO. YEAH, THAT WASN'T MY WORST DATE.

Channel: Studio C

Views: 1,790,855

Rating: 4.9562993 out of 5

Keywords: BYUtv, BYU tv, BYUtelevision, Studio C, StudioC, BYU Television (Award Winner), Awkward Double Date with Puritan Roommate, Awkward, Double, Date, Puritan (Religion), Roommate, Double Date, Puritan Roommate, Dating, Flirting, Mini Golf, Miniature Golf (Sport), Matt Meese, Mallory Everton, Jason Gray, Whitney Call

Id: wg9EAvG4WYk

Length: 4min 15sec (255 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 28 2014