Are You Sure You Want To Get Married Pt 2 | Try Me | (Part 9) Jerry Flowers

hello everybody it's time yep yo time to make that change are y'all ready okay listen it was so good well we didn't even introduce ourselves oh yeah i'm jerry flowers how are you doing denisha flowers say hello to my little friend she is here with me on the night i said i probably need to have uh my rib come back with me now pray for me what was that what's what i'm just introducing you look you're a monster now a holy holy gangster spiritual monster yeah so uh look let i just want to say this like my wife and i are blown away uh we decided it was like look we're gonna have to do part two of this particular conversation based on all the comments listen we have people from all over china taiwan uh brazil of course states new york and atlanta everybody i'm just like man this is like international you guys are showing out go ahead let us know where you're from drop it in the comments drop it in the comments let us know where you're from if this is now your ninth time in the try me series because we are on lesson number nine crazy right y'all believe it cray cray number nine yeah this this one on the night i hope you ready y'all put your seat belt on tighten your lace front let's go this message is gonna be good and make sure you do a screenshot take a screenshot so we can see where you're watching it um there was somebody from like paris remember i showed you that screenshot yeah and the eiffel tower was in there yeah eiffel towers in the back they were you know uh having dinner and watching and i saw family watching you guys are blowing us away and i think this is just a result if you give god your yes get ready for him to blow your mind amen amen and it's also encouraging because it lets us know that people are still hungry for the word of god right and we strive to give you sound biblical doctrine as everything that sounds good doesn't mean it's sound or good amen so i hope you guys are ready for this on tonight um we have a foundational text that i think is gonna be very good in mark chapter five mark chapter five i can say it now like it's normal turn your bibles because i've seen many people have their bibles and their notes and their ipad like pen so turn your bibles to mark chapter five we're going to read a few passages of scripture mark chapter 5 verses 35-42 it says while he was still speaking some came from the ruler of the synagogue's house who said your daughter is dead why trouble the teacher any further as soon as jesus heard the word that was spoken he said to the ruler of the synagogue do not be afraid only believe somebody say believe please and he permitted no one to follow him except peter james and john the brother of james then he came to the house of the ruler of the synagogue and saw a tumult and those who wept and wailed loudly when he came in he said to them why make this commotion and weep the child is not dead but sleeping and they ridiculed him but when he had put them all outside he took the father and the mother of the child and those who were with him and entered where the child was laying then he took the child by the hand and said to her to leia takumi which is translated little girl i say to you arise immediately don't you love that word immediately the girl arose and walked for she was 12 years of age and they were overcome with great amazement but he commanded them strictly that no one should know it and said that something should be given her to eat a verse of importance and where we're gonna park on tonight takes residence at verse 40 and they ridiculed him but when he had all put them outside somebody said put him out put him out when he all gave them an eviction notice he took the father and the mother of the child and those who were with him and entered where the child was land god bless this moment bless your word we are praying that you anoint our lips oh god all the study means absolutely nothing if you aren't seen if you are glorified and if we don't make you visible so praying that you have your way in this moment touch the hearts of your people for you know where they struggle you know where they need healing you know they need encouragement we're praying that we can be all those things because you are all things to all men in jesus name we pray amen amen are you all ready so listen we are in part nine of our try me series and we said you know what we need to just come out here and do destiny decisions part two are you sure you want to get married we talked about tri-trust we talked about try patience we talked about tri-kingdom language with part three and four we talked about try resting try surrendering try believing and now we are talking about tri-purpose try purpose somebody say purpose purpose because you have to understand that purpose is a fixer purpose is a fixer it is a fixer of a problem the purpose of these lights on my wife and i right now is to fix a darkness problem so since you and i have a purpose this means god has given you the oil to change something there is something that you have been cosmically created to fix in the earth this is why the devil for many of us has constantly been coming to hit us and try to distract us and send us counterfeit after counterfeit because he never wants you to discover that you're called to be his problem so he tries to get you stuck on your problems i need relationships in my life that don't cause problems but help me fix problems you know what relationship goals are to me when you marry somebody who helps you advance the kingdom of heaven and terrifies hell when your whole clique is oily when all of us are fixing problems i need circles why are we coming out like this i need circles that fix problems not cause problems because purpose is a fixer so that when you and i die some problems should no longer exist because purpose is a fixer we aren't just existing we are living when you're existing you need your alarm clock to wake you up oh but when you are living purpose wakes you up your assignment wakes you up a calling wakes you up so now i live on purpose i talk on purpose i think on purpose i marry on purpose i even date on purpose because it's impossible for you to be spirit-led and serial date come on that was just a gut punch why be coming out like this we talked about consider your purpose we talked about consider destiny and fight for destiny tonight we're going to continue that conversation somebody say purpose purpose yeah so talk about this okay so if we look at the passage with jairus right um jairus needed something from jesus when he went to find jesus at first he needed jesus to be a healer because his daughter was sick if you go before the passage that we read um somebody came to say you know don't trouble him anymore your daughter is dead yeah right but at first he needed jesus to be a healer okay so once the person came and told him that his dog was dead now he needed him to perform a miracle right and and jesus told him don't be afraid only believe and i think a lot of us are in seasons in our life that we need a miracles from god you know it's gone from one place to the next place okay it was it's it's gone from bad to worse okay and i think if we if we get to a place where we can be like jairus and trust only believe then the stuff that we're asking god for like the clarity that we need like you know the uh the the connection in your marriage that you need like the depression that needs to be removed like the uh the insecurity that needs to be removed like all of the emotional problems the mental problems that you have that need to be removed if we trust god and only believe then god can perform that that miracle however when when when jesus got there with jairus you know they were wailing and they were crying and they said why you know he was like why you know why are you guys crying she's she's asleep and they ridiculed him okay and and some in some uh passages it says they laughed him to scorn they mocked him they mocked him right and so now we have to remember jesus you know a lot of movies portray jesus as this you know hipster you know peace be unto you long hair but i mean i can imagine if you are laughed to scorn and you know who you are he's like i'm you know i'm god you know what i'm saying so i know they're not about to be up in this house laughing at me so i'm sure he wasn't like everybody needs to leave the house immediately you know what i'm saying i'm sure he wasn't like that i'm sure he was like get out everybody needs to go i'm sure he had some some you know some force behind his voice because the atmosphere was not conducive to perform the miracle that he needed to perform talk girl right so he was like nah y'all got to go you know like that person you get at that you know the person gets mad and they're like everybody got to get out everybody got to go everybody gets out that's i believe that's how jesus was he was like like martin like y'all stepped yeah it's time everybody you got to step in get to happen right but i believe jesus probably had that type of attitude because he was like i know they are not about to be up in here you know doubting like i can't i can't do a miracle in this atmosphere right and so he only he pretty much kicked everybody out except for the father the mother and i believe the text says the people that were with him at the time and he kicked everybody out and then when the miracle was performed then you know he's like don't tell anybody because people were gonna see you know clearly that the girl wasn't dead and i think a lot of people you're having these issues in your life or in your marriage or in your relationships because you don't have an atmosphere conducive for the miracle you don't have the atmosphere where god can change things and do some things and move some things and turn some things around yeah it may have gotten from bad to worse and from worse to worser or even worse if that's yeah worser yeah but here's the thing you haven't taken the time to have faith believe and then evict because what jesus did he served that eviction notice he evicted those people and what god needs to do in some of our lives he needs to evict some things but we have to create the atmosphere so that he can evict those things but if we still got those things around us those people around us we still have that bad attitude or or that bad mouth you know we can't talk to people the right way if we still have all of this craziness in our and our emotions if we're still allowing things to come into our life that's distorting our view of who god is and what he wants us to do then guess what god can't uh change and change things in your life and can't make the miracle he can't perform the miracle because we have not allowed god to evict those things and that's the step that a lot of us need to take in our marriages we're talking about kingdom marriages and relationships here listen you want god to turn some things around you've got to invict some things sometimes the problem is you okay sometimes it's not the other person maybe there's some things that god is doing in you that you need to remove that you need to allow god to transform that you need to allow god to evict and he can't perform he he needs to have that atmosphere conducive so he can perform your miracle preach girl you just came my flamethrower look did y'all hear what she said there's two things i want to touch like when we were talking about tri-purpose i think we have to understand that god does everything on purpose which makes it easier if we live a life in purpose if god does everything on purpose we must live a life in purpose so that we could be in tune to make decisions that are beneficial for our purpose so i have to make sure that you you have to understand i cannot be the solution and the pollution at the same time that they're just some things in my life that has to go right there's some things that god has to deal with and we're just gonna have to be honest and have to be open like i understand everybody needs healing yeah but we have to make sure that we're not allowing people to use our heart as their practice field that's good i have to get to a place where i'm i am no longer justifying my scars because i'm in love with the person who has a relational knife wow this this this is not healthy god wants us to live a life of purpose right and so in this text you may be wondering okay i thought we were talking about you know do you want to get married and destiny decisions and are you sure we are pointing out the problem the problem is instead of us evicting things help me holy ghost instead of us evicting things we evict jesus i don't want jesus to mess this up because my biological clock is ticking i don't want jesus in this room i will have this room have potpourri but don't come in here start talking about me being sexually pure don't come in here start addressing my vibrator don't come here start addressing my masturbation we don't want to talk about that we just want you to stay in the living room we want it nice and tidy for you and in here yeah it's vacuuming in here it's cleaned in here but that basement is just stuff in the other room that basement issue that stuff that you're not talking about because possibly you were raised and you were told what goes on in this house stays in this house and there's some stuff that jesus is saying listen until that gets out certain things can't get up y'all didn't hear what i just said this girl couldn't get up until certain things got out and i don't know who we're preaching to on the night but what needs to get out i wish i had a spoon and some teeth what needs to get out of your life that god is saying you want me to do the miraculous that has to go you want me to do the miraculous this has to go i need an atmosphere that's conducive stop asking when am i going to send you the one i need you to be right how are you more ready for me to send you somebody than for my son's return come on i need you to be ready for me i need you to spend time with me you know what the issue with your marriage is i don't have i don't have any say in your marriage you go off your feelings you go off when someone hurts your emotions you get offended quickly and then you wonder why god where are you in the midst of this i'm about to mess some people up and then people misquote scriptures and say well you know what whatever god put together he's obligated to keep together i think you have to understand this some of this stuff god's not putting together no yeah we're gonna get an email on that one we're gonna get some comments on that one yeah some of this stuff god is not putting together we are and if god didn't put it together he's not obligated to keep it together and i believe on tonight what we're trying to do coming in your living room coming in your car coming through your retina display through your laptop to your ipad or wherever you're watching this we're trying to give you a mike tyson uppercut and let you understand maybe the problem is you haven't allowed jesus to be your landlord jesus wants to come in and say listen this has to go right you want me to heal you from childhood i need you to stop acting like that doesn't hurt because you cannot feel a void that you keep avoiding we have to address that stop coming up to me talking about god is great god is good let's talk about you not talking to your daddy let's talk about that let's talk about the issue that you're smiling because i'm tired of people that have been classically conditioned that have face lifts but they don't have heart transplants i want your heart i don't want just lip service i want your heart you want to give your heart to somebody who love you and i'm trying to let you know you can never love them the way you're supposed to love them if you don't let me be your landlord there's some stuff i have to evict stuff that a lot of churches don't like to address yeah i said vibrator because how are you trying to be sexually pure but you got to vibrate assist how are you trying to be sexy pure but you got a condom why you still got their contact in your phone why you have a contact saved with somebody that they live in a place that you fail right right we going all the way here you know why we talking about this because there are so many people who are struggling in bondage but you're smiling like you're free and we don't want you to act free we want you to be free and jesus sometimes has to come in like an episode from martin still yeah all y'all got to go step get this get out get out get out all everybody has to get out right because you want me to do the miraculous right right right right so let's touch on some things that god has to evict what do you think is a big thing that god has to edit point number one loneliness i think um loneliness is not just for people that are unmarried okay loneliness can apply to people that are married and unmarried okay because you can be in a marriage and still feel lonely and i think uh people think when you get married oh i'm not gonna be lonely anymore and really that's an insecurity issue because god is supposed to be our everything and i'm not saying that you know you don't have moments of weakness maybe if in your unmarried state where you're like you know you may long for somebody but you can quickly snap out of it when you understand you know what i'm in god's will it's going to happen in his timing if that is his will and i'm going to continue to focus and trust in god but when you allow loneliness to to take over your mind and take over your heart then that's when the enemy can come in and then you can start like we said before entertaining counterfeits and other foolishness so um and then when you're in the marriage and you're lonely then you may have gotten married because you thought marriage was going to cure loneliness and we have to remember that god is the only one that can fulfill us completely because i can be in a room full of people and still feel lonely that's an emotional issue that's a heart issue that god's got to heal okay and so we need to allow that atmosphere uh in our hearts to say okay why am i lonely what what is it about me that i feel like i need people or i need someone to feel fulfill me or i need somebody to be with me or i don't feel complete or i don't feel important or i don't feel like you know i'm somebody or i'm special and and i remember um when my mother before she re married my stepdad she was single for some time and i i can recall i don't ever remember her talking about her being lonely ever because she was about her father's business like i can't say that enough like when you are so focused on who god is and what he is for you and what he is in you and what he's doing for you and what he's doing with you there's no way that you can possibly be lonely because you're so consumed with who he is like you can't be lonely because you're so consumed with his love and his goodness and his purpose and his and his calling and the destiny he has for your life like how could you possibly be lonely so if you're lonely you have to be focusing on some somebody else you have to be focusing on something else you have to be involved and consumed with something else other than christ because you can't like live a life or a state and be lonely and have christ at the same time yeah you have to be that like allow god to evict those things because i promise you if you think you getting married it's going to cure you from being lonely you're going to be sadly mistaken and you are going to be lonelier in your marriage and your marriage is going to suffer because of it because you are not complete in god because you're not one in god you're not holy god and that's what has to happen first that's what needs to be evicted before you allow a relationship to form because then you have two whole and complete individuals serving christ together not one whole and one half and then you expect to be whole and you expect this person to fix like listen no christ is the only fixer he's the only fixer he cannot fix my loneliness i can be with him 24 7 and i can still feel lonely yeah it does not fix relationships friendships not no type of no type of ship that you can get involved in situationship can cure your loneliness or fix your loneliness if you are not wholly complete in christ not even a puppy okay or a dog or a pet is gonna make you feel secure only christ can and that has to happen before you decide to get in any relationship of any form yeah and she she's not just up here giving you religious rhetoric okay when we were courting i had to catch this woman okay ladies let me mess you up kingdom men don't necessarily look for a woman that's already going at a slow pace counterfeits look for somebody who's going at a level faster than them so that you could drag them okay but when it's kingdom it's kind of like this it's like we're running we're just kind of running and i just happen to notice like you're right next to me right so she's not gonna be so clingy because i'm her everything she already running before i got there right and if i happen to slow down she's still running don't look at me keep on going because if you look at me you're gonna miss your hurdle right and a lot of us are slowing down slow down start coming back with me a lot of us are slowing down because we're lonely and we're keeping somebody who takes your speed that's good we're using we're we're entertaining people that makes us slow down when god is saying no this is the pace i want you to go at when it's kingdom and you're going at your kingdom pace you don't slow down for anybody else you either hop adjusting my speed hop in i'ma carry you bruh or you gonna get left you're gonna get left in my dust come on you don't get left in my dust but i'm not gonna slow down for you see you have to understand this you have to understand this she had like what two or three jobs i did mission trips p12 groups was going to tanzania she was all over the place right and for me because we talked about this in part one since i considered my purpose you're gonna be a pastor i recognize she'll be able to help me with missions i'll be able to help her with missions and so now how i view it since i'm a preacher i'm like a trumpet blower right view a kingdom i'm the trumpet blower she's a worshiper she lays on the red carpet in the kingdom we're going to keep bumping into each other yeah we're going to keep bumping into each other i'm blowing the trumpet saying here comes the king she's laying down the carpet saying here comes the king you want to give get in relationships that help you help you they don't fulfill you yeah see many times our insecurities are exposed by who we pick that's good oh lord our insecurities are exposed by who we pick and a lot of us have yet to realize that sometimes we are picking ponds instead of recognize we're called for oceans all right there's a difference i said this before there's a difference in being alone and lonely adam was not lonely but he was alone when you are alone you have mastered your solo when you are lonely you won't even play your solo because you want to do it wow there's a certain chord that god needs in his symphony that there's a certain note that god needs in his symphony and as long as you're not playing you'll know why would god send you somebody right now in your rebellion right now i need you to work your assignments i need you to play your note god is not hiding your purpose he's not like you didn't find it yet no no that's not it either he wants you to be so much about him and like we said prior in this series the cure for loneliness is not company it's calling yes it's calling when i was unmarried like we're trying to give you some truth when i was unmarried when there were friday nights that i knew i was going to be by myself i hit up the parents of the young men that i discipled they were called blazers bold leaders aimed for zion exposing the righteous standard i know this real church but that's what i've called it right blbc brotherhood led by christ and i knew if i didn't have nothing to do friday night hey can i pick up your sons we're going to play basketball we're going to play 2k and that's all i did it was life on life i don't know what it means to be bored and single yeah i don't like i think when your kingdom waiting never feels like waiting yeah waiting never feels like waiting because there's something that you could be doing right now if you don't believe me jesus says it this way the harvest is plentiful right but the label right there's some there there is something to do there's just not people doing it because they're so consumed with like when am i gonna get married or why is this or why don't i have this you know they're they're so worried about what they don't have that they're not even paying attention to all the stuff that god has already made available for them to occupy talk and i think uh a lot of believers i'm talking about believers you know we we are cons we're not even consumed you know you say you you believe in jesus and you say you know you're a kingdom citizen you want god's will but you you're there there's no fruit yeah like i can't see there's nothing that you're doing and and if the if the harvest is plentiful then then be one of those laborers okay and don't be consumed with all of this other stuff that trust me if god wants you to have it he's gonna give it to you like we can't stop what god has for us like you know especially if we're doing the will of god like if you're pursuing purpose and walking according to the calling that god has called you to we can't miss any of it like we can't we can't miss that like especially but what happens is things get delayed when we're consumed with other stuff so we want stuff we want god to send us things but he's like he said you know i can't send you this because it'll become an idol yeah i can't give you this because you're going to put it before me yeah i can't i can't give you this because you're not going to spend any time with me like i'm not going to give this to you okay i need you to be worried about my harvest like be consumed with my harvest be concerned with my work be consumed with my calling your purpose like there's something that needs to be fixed yeah okay it's not fixed yet because you haven't you haven't you haven't started fixing it talk listen marriage does not cure loneliness it exposes it did you hear what i just said marriage or relationship does not cure loneliness it exposes it this is why a lot of people are married and still lonely because the cure for loneliness was not a person it was purpose yeah and until you put your foot on that purpose you'll forever be lonely jesus is trying to evict that yeah so that even if you do get married i don't want you to be married and clingy because you don't have a life outside of them that's good that's why some people are so attached because you all they have maybe that's why they blow your phone up not because they're a bugaboo a bugaboo but maybe they have no life outside of you jesus is saying i want to be your life yes don't ever allow yourself to get attached to your career your money or your influence all of that could fade attach yourself to your assignment yeah because now you have self-power can't nobody take that because god's not going to take that the devil is trying to stop that but that's what you've been called to do yeah somebody said purpose purpose okay point number two we didn't hit that one thing it's so good as a point here when you when you live a life of boredom boredom thoughts open distraction slots okay yeah okay when you live a life of boarding boredom you're opening the door for distractions because they are viewed as somebody that can cure my loneliness point number two control control jesus is trying to evict control is there anybody watching this that you try to control outcomes you always constantly try to control things like you got your hands on the wheel and jesus is saying could you let me drive no i don't know this street lord he said we need to go this way lord i i know which way i'm going i know the directions say bro last time you bust the tire okay so i don't want you to continue to go down the street that's gonna cause you to delay because the gta right now it's like we're supposed to get there in 20 minutes but if you take your route it's gonna take about two years so let's let me get in the driver's seat i understand that you don't know this road i understand that it's different i understand that you never went this route but i'm god i need you to become the passenger and let me become the driver matter of fact you don't even need to be the passenger you can get in the back seat right you can put your seatbelt on just trust me to drive your life and i'm trying to tell you something that freed jerry when jerry recognized bro you don't control outcomes you really don't control results you can go to school to be a lawyer but you can't make a law firm hire you come on my wife and i could you like create an event to go on tour but we can't make people buy tickets there is a level of control that you will always eventually run to the wall of your limitation yeah and when you understand god's running this and not me i'm not concerned about what tomorrow holds because i know who holds tomorrow and i have to get my life in an alignment with god you're in control and not me and many times jesus is saying you know what i need to do in your life right now i need to evict your control freak that's good because uh you keep on going down streets that keep sending you in recovery and i'm ready to advance somebody say control and and i'm gonna say this a lot of it isn't just you're trying to control situations you're trying to control people and like you can't i think we're talking about kingdom relationships and kingdom marriages right you can't control people and i know a lot of and you know ladies may be mad at me but i know a lot of women have these control issues especially the my generation of women like you know we're very successful and we're independent which is fabulous trust me i was there um you know when i was unmarried i was doing my thing like a boss and i and i celebrate any woman that is you know living her life doing her thing and pursuing a purpose but when you get into a relationship you can't control your husband you can't do that and i i mean i know i want to touch on that because you're so used to controlling everything else in your life or making the decisions or making you know uh all your moves you know like a boss but when you get into a relationship you can't control that person yeah you can't control how they react you can't control how they respond you can't control how they think you can't control what they do you can't control your marriage like that isn't even god's design yeah and i think um a lot of women you may need to deal with your control issues and i'm not saying men don't have control issues because i'm sure several of them do but because i'm women i'm a woman i like to to to talk to the heart of the women we have to deal with those control issues because i can't listen i can't tell him what to do and can't and then get mad when he doesn't do it the way that i want him to do it like that is something that a lot of women have issues with already in marriage they're trying to control their husbands you cannot okay god is over him what you do is you go to god in prayer if there's something that he needs to change you go to god in prayer you may talk to him about it and say god i know i can't i can't change this person and we hear that like you can't change a person that is real listen that is a real statement you cannot change a person change is a matter of a man's will talk okay you cannot i cannot change him and we learned in our marriage that we couldn't change each other and he yeah real quick he learned that real quick he couldn't control me he couldn't control like he and sometimes he would try and sometimes i would try and we would bump heads constantly because we realized we cannot control each other yeah and so i think a lot of times we need to even evict that type of thing yeah i can control my life because if you're unmarried you can control some of the outcomes you know you can control you know hey where i go to you know where i work or where i apply there's certain things that you have stewardship over in your life but once you get into that thing and that marriage yeah you can't be controlling things you can work together like we said in in the previous um message your teammates yeah okay and i know some in some like basketball games if if one um player is doing too much they call them a ball hog right like that you're con you're trying to control the ball too much and you're not allowing the other teammates to help you win the game because you think you can do it all by yourself and you can't like that's why you have teammates okay you pass the ball there's different positions to come together to make the team and that's what happens in a marriage you're not controlling everything and then they're just watching standing from the sidelines you can't do that you have to allow god to evict that as well very well said uh i was thinking like when you were saying women you know um a lot of times the guys that are narcissistic the guys that are dictators and that are controlling they prey on the insecure yes and so with the lonely and the lonely right so sometimes you are positioning yourself to enter into a relational context with a chauvinistic man because you don't understand who you are in god already and you're not secure already so you'll confuse their control as love you they love me they you know i maybe i shouldn't have did this and maybe no no this is not love yeah this is not love it kind of it kind of makes me think about um two things i want you to consider this may be um different for you but i want you to consider and it's and it's theologically sound okay you don't really see in the text the bible saying wives love your husbands okay but you see it say respect your husband right okay but it does say husbands love your wives you know like christ of the church okay so i think there's there's a question that ladies have to ask themselves it's not about love girl it's about respect i think you need to ask yourself this question does this man do anything that is worthy of me respecting him right let's just take love off the equation for a second okay do i respect him does he do anything that's respect worthy does he do anything respectful and do i see him modeling respect to others because one of your requirements is going to be to respect your husband it's going to be hard for you to respect somebody that doesn't respect you it's going to be hard for you to respect somebody that's disrespectful to you disrespectful to others and even worse to add insult to injury disrespectful to god i'm not saying don't love him but i'm saying can you respect him because a lot of people are saying well i love him but does he do anything that you can respect yeah i know that's gonna mess some people up right there look number three we know what the lord is trying to evict cultural logic cultural logic i wanna i want you to think about something everything that's normal to culture is abnormal to kingdom rights and everything that is normal the kingdom is abnormal to culture culture says you got to get respect to get it kingdom says we show honor honor thy father and mother it doesn't say honor your good mother honor your good father i feel like i'm messing some people up it says honor them because they are just if all they are is the transportational system that god used to get you here in the earth for that reason and that reason alone honor that jesus could do no miracles in his hometown because a prophet is without honor everywhere else everywhere else in his hometown and i think the biggest issue especially for millennials and generation z is we think honors weakness we think honors weakness right culture says hey if they hate you i mean if they hate me hate them right kingdom says bless those that hate us if you ain't want me if you don't want me then don't talk to me that's culture kingdom is like yo if your enemies hungry feed them and when you're truly a living a kingdom lifestyle truly living the kingdom lifestyle it's gonna look weird to culture right right right yeah and and let me say this i think because this age is so exposed to social media and and the internet and you know where the information age we have all of this these philosophies and we have all of these schools of thought and we have all of these ways of thinking but the word of god is the constant thing that we should always refer to always always always so those schools of thought will constantly change yeah okay those those philosophies will constantly change and and the sad thing is if you're a believer and you adopt some of those cultural uh norms or cultural philosophies then there's no way that you can completely identify with the kingdom and i think a lot of people want to pick apart the word of god like i'm gonna take this part and i'm gonna take this part but this part i don't think applies to me so i'm not gonna do that part yeah and that's people's cultural logic a lot of people that claim christianity that ca that claim kingdom that claim to be believers they they they say they serve jesus but then their their their actions and their beliefs and their philosophies say otherwise yeah their lifestyle says otherwise the the bible and the word of god is the only philosophy we're supposed to follow period yeah and and you can't pick apart what you want to follow and then adopt what the culture says also like we're supposed they're supposed to be uh you're supposed to be separate okay we we are among people we are in this world but we are not of this world okay we are we are in you know in this place but we don't we're not supposed to adopt everything that we that the world does and there's a problem when you're blending in too much and when people can't tell what side you're on or who you serve or who you belong to because you identify identify so much what the culture identifies with now i'm not even talking about maybe certain styles or you know maybe you know uh a ways of dress or things like that but i'm talking about the way that you view life the way that you view relationships the way that you view the kingdom the way that you view sin like let's talk about we are believers that are called to do the great commission okay and and and god has plans for our lives but if we are so uh so trying to blend in and identify with the culture how can god possibly do a miracle in our lives yeah how could god possibly do the amazing and the miraculous in our lives and remove those things that he needs from us because we're so consumed to what the culture is doing you know what we're watching what we're listening to what are what what people around us are doing yeah we there has to be a separate this and distinct thing about the people of god and and if you look too much like the culture then how are you going to impact the culture talk yeah so good uh the next two are going to mess you up but i want to show you something we did it a while ago but i want to show you again because i want you to really understand that everything kingdom is absolutely the antithesis of culture it's the total opposite right like when god blesses you it's not so that you could raise your your standard of living it's so that you could raise your standard of giving everything is absolutely opposite okay so i want to show you this really quickly it's my daughter my daughter's like minnie mouse yeah you just put it here um so you just stand right there right and so a lot of us we are in relational context or we're in a position where we want god to send us something right can i get everybody to say sinned okay but here's the issue god's like i can't send until that ends when you want me to come in i have to evict that so god starts all by blessing you he just blessing your life and you're like oh yes the lord is good look at you catching mrs flowers come on here up she dropped one now i want you to notice i'm still trying to bless her life i'm still trying to give her more she's dropping the blessings i'm still trying to flood her life she's holding on to him she can't catch that one now look here it is look at you dropping all of them leave him down there leave him down there now look at this now she's asking god give me clarity god i need you to give me a raise god i need you to give me a better position god i i need you to get send me a husband lord you caught that one god send me a wife god help me be the first millionaire and so now we're discovering the problem is it's not that god's not blessing you it's not that god is not blessing you it's that you're not giving nothing and a lot of us until we give some stuff up until we let some stuff go it's not that heaven is not trying to bless you it's not that god hasn't heard your prayers it's not that god's not trying to give you more than enough it's not that god is not sending things to you is that you're so busy hoarding things that you can catch new things now i want you to throw all that now the text is given it shall be given unto you so if i give give it away i give give it away i give give it away what if this is what kingdom looks like you're not hoarding it but you're constantly catching it to give it away and this is what i want you to remember maybe god is saying listen there are some things i want to give you yeah but i can't give you unless you let me get rid of that in your life somebody said let it go let it go point number four gonna get in trouble we're gonna try to move quick sexpectations what is that that's when you merge sex and expectations together i think it's kind of clever actually i think so too it's expectations now why in the world would jesus want to evict that what if i were to tell you that god's original intent for sex was for it to be a discovery not an exhibit right right right right right and so when you have the mindset already we're going all the way here on a thursday night when you have the mindset i like if he hit it like this i like if she do it like this guy's like i have to uh remove that and you have to evict that because by default you're comparing what you did in sin to what i'm now going to do in a covenant you're saying like what if i practice abstinence get married and the sex sucks right right and god is saying um first off my original intent was for you to never really open that door like god's original intent can we talk about his original intent because he does have a prefer he does have a preferred will what he wants is for a virgin to get with the virgin right so you don't know what you're doing bruh and she don't know what she doing and y'all learn as you go oh i like this i do like this i don't like this i don't like the idea and you begin to learn yeah so that the devil doesn't have access to step in your marriage and you are trying to compare your wife to a porn star yeah that's this stuff and so now you're like you know what she doesn't satisfy me no you haven't been spiritually detoxed you haven't detoxed from the porn we're going all the way here we're trying to help you you haven't been detox for the porn you haven't been detoxed from all the stuff that happened in college and right now some of us don't even recognize your unmarried state is a place where you can cleanse that's good that's good you could cleanse you could turn down the volume we don't fast for houses we don't fast for cars we fast to turn down the volume of our flesh purity you know why we fast we fast to strengthen our no yes that's good that's good you don't have power over me self-mastery so that when god does give you a good thing so that when god does give you a king the devil can't step in with his deceitful stupid self and make you miss out on what god is trying to do because you can't get over alicia you can't get over stephen you can't get over michael you can't get over britney and so by default when we go on this thing saying i like it like this you are already comparing that person to people of the past what if they don't like it like that right is that too much it's not too much and you know that's why the word all the way there says be not conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind and a lot of us we have not allowed god to rewire and renew our mind from what and this goes with our last point what the culture says about what sex um should be in a marriage and a relationship so we are so um polluted by what the world and what the media has said um sex should be um that we have to take the time for god to purify that from us so that we don't have all of those unrealistic and sometimes very filthy and unfruitful thoughts when you get into a a marriage yeah and like he said before you cannot compare a sinful act to a holy union or a holy covenant like you can't do that and that's what people do and you know the sad thing is a lot of people want to get married so they can legally have sex and you know certain christians i mean i'm just going to be real about it it's a real feeling it happens people want to be able to to to legally have sex and not that it's not a part of marriage but that's not why you get married and i've had several conversations with people they just you know they they're like well the word says you know it's better to marry than burn with passion and then when all that passion is gone and you're with this partner because you just married him so you can you know have sex legally then you have no purpose together yeah then then then all you had was sex in common yeah that's it this woman just said sex and that's all you had was you know you you had sex in common and you didn't have purpose in common you didn't have destiny in common that's all you had in common was that you had sex together and then you and then you you make that a marriage and that and it's a part of marriage but it's a fraction of it especially when your kingdom like your whole our whole existence is not you know just to be in an intimate sexual relationship our marriage far supersedes that it far supersedes that when you're in a kingdom marriage you are trying to to do what god has called you to do together as a unit uh for the kingdom of god okay sex is a part but it's not the totality of your marriage and if you are trying to get to get married to have sex legally you need to get that evicted man i just feel just the heat on this like i feel like i'm sweating for y'all i'm just feeling the heat on this what if i told you that one of the dangers of sex before marriage is you could end up marrying somebody to recreate a sexual sexual sexual experience rather than a purposeful union yeah so the only reason you got with them was to recreate a sexual experience but this is not a purposeful union you ain't gonna be having no type of sex when y'all aren't getting along when you understand that they're narcissistic and they're selfish they're selfish and they mean they got a bad attitude they know she don't she can't respect you she can't follow you but you know the sex is good i mean and people don't want to talk about that type of stuff like there is there's so much more there's so much more to relationships and and marriage than being able to have sex legally okay you there you have to be able to live and to become one i have to be able to submit and follow this person this man i have to be able to to look up to him to see how he's going to father my children and how he's going to lead my family yeah that goes beyond sex yeah sex clouds your judgment you won't be able to think you won't be able to think right because it's creating this this feeling in your body like really like like your endorphins and dopha means you're releasing things in your brain yeah that is of the same chemicals that release in your brain when you do drugs and the enemy knows like if i can get them to be hooked or a slave to good sex they'll never let go of bad things because they're caught up in how they feel versus being a spirit-led and spirit-filled kingdom citizen i feel like this is coming for everybody's life but it's needed we need to talk about this i think a lot of us would have made the choices that we've made if we would have had conversations like this you may never heard of expectations hearing somebody say that listen god's original desire is for you to detox from that and your singleness so that you're not a slave to it in your marriage state you know what marriage problems are single problems that were never dealt with right right and i'm gonna say this one last thing i'm sorry i remember we were at a marriage conference and it was a couple that they they uh when they got you know they they were uh sexually active before they got married and then he the husband said he had to fight um thoughts when he got married to her because he didn't want to look at his wife as a piece of meat anymore because when they were unmarried he looked at her at like a piece of meat and he was like she's not a piece of meat you know she's my wife she's beautiful she's awesome she's my helper and so he had to to and i mean i remember them talking about that in the session he had to detox and and unlearn and rewire his brain how to see his own wife like he didn't want to look at her like a piece of meat anymore he wanted to look uh at her as a purposeful partner in their in their union so that stuff is it's real and people deal with it and you want to deal with that you know in the unmarried state if you can and if you know if you're already married god can still evict those things if you provide that atmosphere yeah we're gonna have to come back and just like just have a whole session on just sex maybe that'll be part ten something about sexual purity and kingdom five and six kind of going together go together uh jesus wants to evict your preference and he also wants to evict why friends okay so number five is your preference and number six is why friends okay when i say that he wants to evict your preference jairus wanted jesus to be a healer jesus knew before jairus ever came to him that his daughter was gonna die so it's like okay your preference is for me to be a healer but my preference is for me to be a resurrector yeah and you have to be able to submit and trust god enough when he doesn't meet your preference as the healer trust that he can meet your preference as the resurrector that's good and so if we talk about why friends right um verse 35 of our foundational text it says while he was still speaking some came from the ruler of the synagogue's house who said your daughter is dead why trouble the teacher why trouble the teacher you know what my friends are girl why are you not giving him none why why are you staying with her why are you doing it why you save it like that there are people in your life that constantly challenge your why by asking their why right these people were really trying to get they were really trying to get him to stop talking to jesus in other words they were saying hey bro you're wasting your time with that praying you're wasting your time with that church you're wasting that time with their webisodes you're wasting that time of being pure you're wasting that time with saving you're wasting that time he was like listen why do this stuff anymore right what you really wanted him to do is over and jesus has to switch your preference to show you it's not over just believe right that's good now last point and we're done crowd identity you can put luke chapter 5 on the screen i hope this is good for you crowd identity jesus wants to evict you trying to merge him with the crowd because there is three types of people i believe i believe there's a person that you post there's a person that you let your close friends and family members see and there's a person that you never let anybody see and that last version of yourself is the truest version of you and jesus wants to deal with that in luke chapter five verses one through seven we're done so it was as the multitude pressed about him to hear the word of god that he stood by the lake of jenesseret and saw two boats standing by the lake but the fishermen had gone out have gone from them and were washing their nets then he got into one of the boats which was simon's and asked him to put out a little from lamb and he sat down and taught the people taught the multitudes from the boat when he had stopped speaking he said to simon launch out into the deep and let down your nets for a catch jesus was looking for a stage he was looking for a stage this all this is what marriage is supposed to be a stage jesus said hey i need you to push your boat back because i have this multitude that need to hear the word and so i'm a step in your boat and i want you to put me in a position where everybody can see me and then after you let everybody see me i'm going to turn around and help you get what you're trying to catch maybe this is why simon didn't catch any fish the night before because jesus was coming in the morning and this is all marriage is supposed to be you know what we're doing right now we're a stage jesus is on top of our covenant and we're like hey everybody look look at this this is he's the one that's trying to evict he pointed he's the one that's trying to even it ain't about us it's not about redefining tv it's not about jerry it's not about tanisha that we're we're trying to give glory to god this is who we want you to focus on this is who we're trying to give glory to because as long as he's pleased we're going to be pleased and do you desire marriage and do you want to be married because i want to be a stage i want to be a stage for others to see how good our god is so god we thank you we thank you for this moment for just coming together and just having sometimes hard conversations god about living a life of purpose and recognizing that the things that we're supposed to fix in our life oh god and whatever it is in our life that you need to evict god evicted even if it hurts evicted even if we don't like it evicted even if it's uncomfortably evicted even if it's what we've always known evicted because like we see in our foundational texts that that girl could not get up until certain people got out god we don't want to risk things getting up in our life because there are things that you haven't evicted from our life give us the strength to let it go so that you can get glory in jesus name amen what if we have been so caught up trying to be like the crowd that we're forfeiting being the stage that is what god is looking for stages it's all about having relationships that jesus could stand on and we're like hey this is who we're giving glory hey this is who we're magnifying god is looking for stages and we didn't even have time to like really go in in that message because um if you think about it after simon allowed jesus to deliver the message he turned around and said now what is it that you need let down your nets for a catch because i firmly believe he's showing us the beauty of the first principle if you put me first everything else seek ye first the kingdom of god and all of his righteousness and all these things will be added unto you what is it that you're expecting god to do in your life and maybe it's tied to you putting god first god is looking for stages not for us to be like the crowd i love you guys so much i can't wait to see you on sunday at 6 p.m central time have an absolutely wonderful and fantastic night god bless you

Channel: REDEFINED TV

Views: 47,201

Rating: 4.9666138 out of 5

Keywords: Redefinedtv, redefined tv, jerry flowers, pastor flowers, pastor jerry flowers, christian relationships, christian dating, christian webisodes, are you sure you want to get married, relationships, Christian relationships, Michael todd, dharius Daniels

Id: MVcrPkAGUJI

Length: 56min 26sec (3386 seconds)

Published: Thu May 14 2020