April & Ann: BEST FRENEMIES | Parks & Recreation | Comedy Bites

[Music] i want another nurse well there are none we're stretched pretty thin right now then i want a janitor they can do what you do right yep nurses and janitors are totally interchangeable except no one dresses up like a janitor when they want to be [ __ ] i get the sense that maybe you're angry at me for kissing andy no i'm not what are you talking about that's crazy and that you think it might be fun to take it out on me please don't do that do i can't do anything i'm sick [Music] my blankets are on the floor stay back [ __ ] april you finalized a rental right shut up anne i told you never to talk to me that was champion oh my god i'm sorry bad dog yes everything's fine with the rental i wish you weren't right but you are you have turned into a very beautiful wise and fertile government employee stop it's kind of weird when she just starts raining compliments on you huh don't try to bond with me can't win anyone find any mistakes yeah actually in here it says the pawnee is great but in reality it's terrible let tom know we haven't found anything hey i'm thinking about getting a new phone do you guys like your phones i've never used a phone in my life what about you ron do you like your phone um here's my goal i'm gonna get these two people that i've known for a long time to talk to me for five minutes who am i kidding one minute one minute would be amazing morning is leslie here oh man i am so tired i took a half shift at the hospital last night and i had this really weird patient weird how i probably shouldn't talk about as one of the grossest things i've ever seen talk well this guy came in he got his hand stuck in a pringles can and he tried to cut himself out what kind of blade did he use uh three and a half inch serrated buckets of blood he passed out over his arm and slumped onto the floor to the boncho very good question april answer her yeah the bone showed everyone in the universe loves a gross medical story boom i win and so when i finally cleaned up the vomit i found the toe i forgot about the towel so did we crazy right that story is awesome indeed thank you for sharing jenny ann perkins is currently attending the valentine's day dance alone so i need each one of you to bring an eligible bachelor for her tomorrow anne's not totally hideous why does she need our help because that's what friends do april they help friends find happiness hey you're here and i brought a bachelor are you kidding me no you brought oren ann is not some weird morose mummy offense intended oren let this be a wake-up call about the way you present yourself to the world i think ann and him would be cute together thanks for nothing why should i do anything to help her because despite the fact that all you do is give her a hard time she would do this for you just go hide under the table with your friend oren yeah i see you weirdo april tom and ann are on a date i know what do you mean no how do you know cause i set them up man i need to like wrap my head around this why it makes sense to me this is a small loser town loser people tom's like at least semi-cool you know what i'm hearing you tried to make anne happy for valentine's day oh you're a very nice person yes you are very nice i guess it would have to be channing tatum's body ryan gosling's face and michael fassbender's sense of humor what about you build your perfect guy um yao ming's torso napoleon's brain and the hunchback of notre dame's hunchback do you like my nails even though she hides it underneath layers of sarcasm resentment and grumpiness i know deep down somewhere april likes me i'm kind of just fracking for friendship are you ready for you to tell me what's going on with chris yes no to sing if you're lost you can look and you will find me time after time go no tell me about chris if you fall i will catch you i'll be waiting tell me about chris where i'm leaving and i don't care about the letter i want to have a baby and i asked chris to donate his sperm and he's taking a really long time to make up his mind and it's really freaking me out and i can't stop thinking about it and i'm obsessing about it i want to think about anything else but that but it's making me crazy secrets stolen from deep inside you know this song already of course i do everyone knows the song it's amazing the drum beats out of time if you're lost you can look and you will find me time after time if you fall i will catch you oh i'll be waiting time after time time after time time after time good stuff it's never happened here is your letter of recommendation so you're off the hook no need to pretend to be my friend anymore thank god i can't tell if you actually hate me or this is just how you are but i had fun hanging out with you so i don't care what you say you're my friend and i hope you get into veterinary school because i like you so there i got you something too baby naming book i hope it works out with chris and if it doesn't i hope it works out with someone we're gonna hug now oh yeah ow you're hurting me yippee road trip who's excited to go to bloomington is that where you're gonna sit i'm driving where else would i sit trunk i helped april get into vet school in bloomington and today's her orientation so we're taking a little road trip while i'm there i'm also going to pick up an organic baby blanket i would get one of pawnee but fun fact our only baby store is attached to a chemical refinery i made a special road trip mix cd for us i hope you like toriyamus oh cool all right so you have everything you need for orientation yeah an empty sprite can an old man's fingernail in my pocket and a picture of patrick ewing on a roller coaster i'm all set great hi you're back hello again as you remember i'm april and this is anne my 65 year old grandmother yes that's who i am anyway we'd love to hear about bloomington it seems like a real hip kind of college town me ma god no one uses the word hip anymore sometimes i wish you went down on the titanic with all your sorority sisters i'm not going to school here april don't flake out on this you're gonna love it here bloomington is great it's got culture and music and tons of youngsters youngsters am i 65 years old yeah i'm not going here i don't want to let's leave can we please talk about what happened back there what and i just stole your phone and texted every guy in it that the baby was there it's not that big of a deal listen i know you don't believe this but i care about your future and i'm just a little disappointed that you're just not following through with this yeah it's not about following through okay i was on the fence about whether i wanted to do it and as soon as i got there i just had a gut feeling that it wasn't right for me that's all so just like that boom huge life decision made that's how i make all my life decisions my gut is always right okay it was right about marrying andy and it was right when it told me that you would be the worst person i would ever meet in my life and i've met guy fieri and so gross how do you get your gut to talk to you you don't get your gut to talk to you you just listen when it says something well right now my gut is saying that we are going to listen to mariah carey the whole way home good [Music] well let's go set up this party april thank you i know you may tease ann but deep down inside i can tell that you really care anne's leaving town and saying painful goodbyes to loved ones greatest day of my life okay don't mention anything about the groundbreaking to ann repeat that back to me tell anne about the groundbreaking frame and for murder release a deadly virus into the water supply good looks like we hit a wall oh god are you okay what's happening i'm just so scared that this means that ann won't really leave pawnee raccoons that is one thing i will not miss well michigan has wolverines maybe they'll eat your toes so how long do you think you'll stay in pawnee for i don't know we like it here i made andy promise that someday we'll move to transylvania but that probably won't happen until we're like a hundred well for what it's worth i'm really happy that you and andy are married why why because i love him and i love you why wouldn't i be happy why aren't you what's that i love you too i i couldn't i couldn't quite hear you please don't make me say it please my going away present to you will be that i do not make you audibly say that you love me thank you okay leslie's coming back get off me wench did i miss a nice moment no yes you did you

Channel: Comedy Bites

Views: 1,973,422

Keywords: april & ann, april ann, april ludgate parks and rec, ann parks and rec, april & ann parks and rec, april ann parks and recreation, april insulting ann, stay back slut, parks and rec flu season, april and ann singing, parks and recreation time after time, champion parks and rec blooper, april sings time after time, april & ann sing time after time, ann leaving parks and rec, parks and rec ann goodbye party, april & ann i love you, april says i love you to ann

Id: A3jShyh9ZjU

Length: 10min 25sec (625 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 10 2021