ali g - da uk seereez episode 3

now don't worry madam this is a perfectly routine procedure now can you see the man who tried to give your cat the ecstasy tablets no no that's him that's the man is it precise black come on y'all miss ed Bo Selecta shout going out to the West Midlands believe it or not in our society things like that happen every day apart from the breakdancing being in police stations up and down the country innocent people was getting fingered that was an identity parade we is all gotten identity in fact they met Davis got free his name is George Phillips in the Bracknell benefit office and then the one in flower you know and up to lodge is Sally Kim this show is also about freedom freedom to think freedom to speak and freedom to think there's some people out there that is so ignorant that they spend all their time reading books and don't even bother watching telly British TV is known round the world for its in-depth documentaries nature programs and unbiased news America has so far managed to avoid that kind of shine it still as telly of the is quality check this collector now ain't just Britain that is got the telly now it's also spread to a place called America that is why eyes come here to Hollywood and I ain't talking about the nightclub in Bracknell to see the set of America most famous drama called the bold and the beautiful which apparently is about a fit go with four shaven even for us I swear I've been introduced as being B's new bad girl so to give you a little future what's gonna happen without telling you specifics for real yeah I'm kind of tell us specifics just have to watch so what is it like when you do the romance since what does that feel like um well I haven't had very many in Europe they cut out all the bits of it actually going in and whatever is you upset about that I don't understand they don't really show the whole thing and you're they just cut to you waking up you know in the morning you know going in here either very strong censorship in what do you don't actually unfortunately just anybody can't go on there they need to go special through the casting office can I not just be in the background or they're undecided Abed Oh they said before I was going to be in Delphine that's why I was so into doing it you said that I was going to be in the [ __ ] thing thought maybe filmmaking buy-in once no no I was whispering because I know that I started because you started first and an idea with now I was gonna check out Sally Jessy Raphael she be like Vanessa Feltz except so well differently you see what country could I ask you about one of the problems dies a few weeks ago me was going down acre my street from where we live and we see me Uncle Jamal was van there and the bucket says because if this bus is rockin don't come knockin or whatever and by oh these sounds coming from the bus from his van and I opened the back and I see this la massive Giza like attacking me uncle Jamal and I think I was gonna try and stop them because as here in the shouting and screaming or whatever and then I see that disc users was disc is attacking him if his punks is down I realized the killing is actually kissing him dead he just saw with the scream screams of delight or were they screams of anger ruin our screams of what kind of screams worth it when I die for day it was he was getting beaten up or something but then your eyes they were having sex well I don't know if there was definitely doing that they weren't wearing they're having sex it's my oxen I tell you a lot of people I know that a lot of people are in America think that everyone speed like a queen but I'll tell you there's a lot of people always leaving not like the Queen oh don't speak like the Queen the Queen the Queen crown oh man giving me all the money then maybe I'll start speaking like the cream my own [ __ ] is the West Staines massiv will be an honor to me and all them of my boys are ohm if you could pick them up can I hear up for the West Staines massiv same thing what advice do you have for me and doing for the first time you ensure I think you're doing pretty well that is they know what's good about you how are you that's very nice what do you mean it's a nice compliment that's a very sure you are yoyoyo him take enough risks when him spin then discs they get up for DJ divorce by the way before I forget apparently me Julie said she know you Julie Julie Julie was she alright oh good from longtime Java birthmark in a Shibata crease so as you met her or not now the people at the channel said Allie would you like to interview miss ed get me president Blaise by him say I want do it mister get me the other guy the controversy T's you know the one who married that woman so people wouldn't think it was by E but he said it wouldn't do it he said just give me some money not even that bothered so please welcome the best Prime Minister this country Avadh Rey Hattersley big out myself I was about after the show you me a jacuzzi and anything you want from KFC so is why short for Leroy nope nope Roy is short for nothing where I come from little over Roy is Roy's are thick on the ground in Yorkshire that's a very common name so Royston and to all your old homies like neil pillock well he's a big man in Europe he's really running things from how he's running tins there yeah everybody knows they're really running as all that running things there they're also running things here I for real yeah the amsterdam connection act so why don't you just get all your bad boys back together you peeler the dr. livingstone MC foot and mash up bliss and all his rude boys I wasn't I wasn't a bad boy I was a good boy you can possibly imagine actually you've got to be well careful though if you're talking to government you need somebody well wha to take out more more long cuz she in the eye areaa well she was but lens glare removed her violent all together at now if you know if it's probably in the WVS is that so tell me what is Tony Blair's really lack oh he wants to be Prime Minister do you think he ever will be I think in 10 years time only Blair will still be prime minister of this country do you think that he is perhaps a bit of a dong I think it's a pretty successful Prime Minister listen I know you can't say it because otherwise is Tony Blair's not not a donk well each one I don't know if it isn't all right let me ask one last question with this the opposite of everything you say is true so easy don't know check this I said that Tony Blair's missus is preggers is that true I think it must be true could it fit in all the newspapers but don't you think it sends a bad message to young people in getting his wife up the Duff fingers president you'd have more tastes and be getting some quality mouth flat Mariah Carey I mean I think Blair is a lucky prime minister that that's a good thing to be and I think the fact that it wife's having another baby will move him up the opinion polls tie percent ten percent either make even more popular method from a male that the kid is gonna be black know you getting me we may know is that true I think if I was a betting man I'd probably gamble against it being black and a bit racist though no I'd gamble against it being back simply on the probability so what do you think about Maggie Thatcher I think she would a catastrophe all right what would have happened if you would have fallen in love with her I would have been certified as it insane did you ever think no or flipping her over and born enough politicians don't like to give straight answers hooroo but I think I can say without much gel that I never actually thought of that so is you telling me that no one from your party has actually seen Maggie's touch there's some sacrifices with your above and beyond the call don't go minstrel you've been on it for ages welcome back during the break me and Roy is just been Chilean he's been telling me some stories in one go unbelievable now check the state a family today girls is having sex at younger ages there's an increase in absentee father's and more and more people is having affairs but we shouldn't just concentrate on the good things to discuss some of the more shitty aspects as well we got on a nanny headmaster and author and some old biddy into a room for a discussion realize so at what age do you think you should start beating your kids I mean I ain't talking about beating the crap out of them but just something like a little dead arm or something like that I mean when you think about it a child learns from a small amount of pain do you think it's right for to get a wet towel and flick the battery because that will teach them discipline but also a sense of humor I don't think it's for any person to interfere in another person's way of doing things with their family let's bring this on at what age should parents give their kids their first spliff like it's illegal do you know that it ain't illegal if your dad gives it to you do you think at least they should teach them how to recognize good gear so they don't be sorry about never teach a child that you'll go to hell for it in my opinion anybody your middle is visiting your child in prison where he's beating them buggered and given drugs days life as you would say okay let's bring this on is read about this woman who is a II who a decay by having sex with the test job or whatever I think it's funny because everyone to have the tester yeah I think for couples loving couples who can create a wonderful family for a child for some reason they can't do it biologically that's a scientific benefit ie unfair bringing up a kid inside a tool that can it be well bad for the kid or the conception whatever it grows up in the womb I think it's to feel the womb of the mother the heartbeat as the first years or whatever that is gonna ruin the kids ed and the way I think well pig is to chew it's just an ordinary tiny tube and it's just the ordinary I'm the bigger tube what age did they take it out the kids never gonna change oh oh please do you think homosexuals who is gay should be allowed to adopt kids I think it's an unnatural situation and not in the best interests of the children themselves do you not think it could be good because the kid could learn about the joys of brown love for now what it could not get it ain't 6-8 only there you know there's also the brown wings whatever I think we won't need to teach children to understand that there are people who have an attraction to their same sex but that it's unnatural well what about a couple of girls who like to drink from the furry Cup they'd be allowed to adopt you know eat from the bushy ball whatever could they be allowed to adopt it I have never no experience of this and I really don't know if okay do you think there's enough teenage pregnancy too much but don't you think if it's working down there then put it to use on the pitch let's play maturity to be able to relate cause and effect for example how come there's so much teenage pregnancy if English girls is also frigid explain well they are they've got nothing on the French because me mate went to Calais and slept with three girls and that was only in a day trip well that's just promiscuous for God's sake he must have paid them he didn't pick them up in the supermarket no he said they fancied him and one of them was a model they do it for now me don't know if any of you has heard of it but there is something out there called the third world these is some of the poorest and most shitty countries on the whole planet some of the children in Bangladesh is so poor today is wearing trainers that is free or four years old what is needed is sneakers that have real grip when it comes to the problems these kids face in doing the moonwalk and Crazy Legs this is Sameera she has to walk for over thirty miles to the nearest disco don't think that just because she lives in the jungle that she knows ever heard any she ain't never listened to nothing above 130 BPM so what we want to do today is turn the tables on the third world by giving the third world turn tables if you remember one thing from tonight let it be this give a man a compilation tape and he will dance for a night teach a man to scratch and he will be dancing for generations of course what is most important for these people is access to clean water so that when day is either they don't get dehydrated but now it's a lender support in the studio please give it up for a very special lady all the way from Albert Square it's Melanie from EastEnders you know everyone out there agree with me that you is the best thing in that show you as HAP Salalah brilliant okay okay I love your record so so tell us why do you think we should help the third world well there's so much suffering there's been some disastrous famines especially in the last few years disease and pain for millions of people and I think it's our responsibility to help for realized feeling that you care and Melanie there is someone I really wanted to me please brothers and sisters welcome Gary Ingram's the lucky winner of our I get to know Mel from EastEnders competition you are joking no no but I've come on to help a good cause and do a bit of a tap dance it's not after sex with the teenager but they've been selling tickets in every little chef around the country I myself is bought 40 well maybe you should've thought about asking me first but how do you think this poor boy must be feeling I mean look at him it ain't gonna take very long no fair enough me respect you order more for that will you at least bring him off come on it's for charity just that just a quick shakin back I'm sorry but no well you is a very very bad person and out there coronation Street go down the tubes EastEnders whatever speak to the arms because the face a little really in the chiller on you what what's the number after after to wait jinx you cannot speak to us say your name as for you don't worry I'll introduce you to my sister by our pocket waivers and shoe thought you are Steve the force booyakasha now we all look back at the music of the AES and laugh hysterically at their air and cloves but who knows in 50 years time people may look at a picture of me and think I look ridiculous that is why this week is gonna take an 80s legend and they'll bring her into this the 20th century so from the pretenders please big up for Chrissy I I got to tell you Chrissy the main reason has got you on this show is as a favor for me uncle Jamal him always talked about having a sandwich between you and Suzi Quatro you ain't met me include your mouth now age-wise you you ain't no Billy my man says you is only as old as the man you'll feel and she is currently feeling a 37 year old go Derrick what is he gonna play for us tonight I'm going to sing the classic it's a thin line between love and hate I recognize their accent is you're from Egham lessons gentlemen big it up for none other done the legend quit see between love and things it's five o'clock in the morning and you just give me did not come this is really depressing he was worried over speed this up a tiny bit she's come on let's invite all the time she's smiling bowtie rickety rickety to really blow horn ultimate journey my mom's gonna be home at about 11:30 and up chips instead of onion rings tonight there is a finland between lebanon tonight there's a fiddler especially and we has just got time to update you on the telephone thing Reebok has offered 40,000 peers of trainers to give to the third world and there's only one thing to say to that we booked come off it in 1991

Channel: AssasinPimp

Views: 1,132,374

Keywords: Ali g, Ali, Sacha Baron Cohen, Ali g Da seerez UK

Id: ga_wRL-lNao

Length: 29min 3sec (1743 seconds)

Published: Sat Dec 17 2011