Ali G Da Best of Ali G

Jack and everybody gonna scream and shut up you see the man put the nine come for welcome to Stan's booyakasha my name is Ali Jimmie represent the West Staines massiv and I is the only non batty presenter on the whole of channel 4 apparently even the geezer from countdown has been bombed by travelpod college idli halogen li the interviews eyes done has been called greatest meetings of minds of this the 19th century and over the next half hour you will see some of the bestest of them for the first time in history miss actually allowed cameras into the streets of Staines themselves so people out there can learn about life in the ghetto some of the scenes you may see over the next half hour some viewers may find well disturbing especially if my sister turns up because she is well rung and as a night at go like that first up my quest for knowledge we checked out Major General Ken Perkins will be the most highly decorated soldier in the British Army in it to talk about war on Tim look and learn wicked I'm here to talk about the military I got with me my main man Major General Ken Perkins now he's seen a lot of action in Korea in Malaysia in World War two so he knows his stuff and he knows where is that now the army is important any violations without I think probably so is it difficult to get in the army no you need to be physically fit you need to be mentally alert so it's not just for people who was a bit thick it's not it's a bit thick you won't get in what about the SOS they would signal there's the hardest there are the best soldiers in the world probably I would say yeah yeah now is it hard to get in extremely hard you know does it help if you've already killed someone because I got a mate Dave and he's killed someone I don't believe him talking rubbish or whatever what about batting men well there's every gays in the end of the years I mean you know there isn't a problem unless you make a problem but a lot of the officers went to public school and you know there's a lot of gain to the army really public school there's not a breeding ground for gays if you hadn't no defenders wouldn't the other side since appeared to bid bum them that you was fighting you you you you you don't have a real vision of what war is so what did you fight for in World War two who's our first house me on our journey men originally I then which which side soldier did you ever think about changing side let's say me you know I was always with man united away when we became say they weren't gonna win the doubles I went to the Arsenal when it was when you thinking that the Gerry's was gonna win who didn't think maybe I'll go over to the Jerry I've no never thought like that okay so what is carpet bombing carpet bombing is when a whole formation of bombers fly together and drop their bombs all at the same time to produce a carpet of bombs on the ground so why don't we do that on northern island why not well they're British but they is causing all the trouble we're Sanya small people in the number of people in Northern Ireland caution traveled most of the people are loyal citizens but how is you going to be sure that you get is getting everyone was busy with do the carpet why don't you lock out everybody in this country to make sure you lock up the criminals enough respect major general Perkins in the house he put a lot of years in to the country time that you your own started putting in a big it was right down here when we first realized that Britain is like a ladies punani because there is both made up of many parts that that and that and if you is to keep the whole thing happy you must pay proper attention to all of them which is why we went to check out Wales which we like to think of as their of Britain to solve their problems Chiqui when you eat the word Wales you probably think of the fish with the biggest dick in the ocean it is also the name of a country there is only 200 miles away from Britain they is all banging on about a devolution so I is coming to find out what it is and if I can help with that what does your boys want we want self-government wage so what happened if you know Blair go mental or ever wanna come and invade the Wales what will you do we'd sing him away this is now going to a coal mine which is a place where the way was people used to live underground musical - lived in here before they became human beings no they've never lived within the might they only worked within the mains what people work under here yeah 30 to 40 people who work in your everyday job so what kind of animals is there down in the mines is it true that there was animals there that were like dogs with a head of an ant that could fly was there squirrels there that was like free me as long I this big see no I am Gina oh I read about that follow me now and I just show you some photographs so why is it mainly brothers whose work why is it mainly the immigration that does sweat and dirt and he hasn't pretended to be like you say ever that now the kids that this university might all sound like thieves but that is speaking in the language of Wales is gonna go in there and learn some of this will SH and see if I can try and prevent from getting covered in flow hello hello and we I'm hello I'm Joey Ali yeah but you say Ali do we why do you say do any not do any do we do Helen do any Ali do any you could say mr. Beene Dewey hmm mr. bendure me [ __ ] yeah cool why call that especial life that we have in Welsh that's different doing do you say that we've learned a lot about the whales today but most important let's increase the peace and keep it real take it away boys I this is one of the most regular gigs after the crooked billion IVA if when we play the latest in speed garage and odd cost swing beat every Wednesday evening to the posse here unfortunately there's a bit of a bad vibe this week because a couple of the normal not in here because there's that may their souls rest in peace with to park in the sky shall going out to maple on way to respect now that is it for part one come back in the second half where we have no evidence arose boy son science wolf and I'll be taking a special trip to the countryside both ago lets you make some noise in the ladies in the house jungle is passe I now you is never too old to learn how to enter yourself in the gale that is why I run workshops in gang culture here at the Aubry house residential home in Guildford every Wednesday now he ever tell me what is the three biggest dangers on the street today Russia drive-by and quick respect now to learn more about new education method we went to check out my main man sir road boy son one time Minister of Education check it now the ak-47 is a manual load in semi-automatic piece of weaponry but if he was right can far up to 40 rounds per minute FM the ak-47 I don't know anything don't ask me today I'm too worried okay don't be worried is not loaded listen here is none other than my main man so those come in the house the tree is talking about the education thing let talk about the discipline do you think the road there is enough discipline in school I think there's slightly less than there should be do you believe kids should be caned I do wicked MA I am believe kids should be can't even in school even in school do you not think the road if you get caned in school you can't concentrate as well because a lot of people out there say that if you get in kind well I was getting there in time I've concentrated all my life you okayed respect from the ethic so they respect from there yeah so I mean it was a I mean it shouldn't be done evil and it shouldn't be done badly but now you don't have good stuff you you have to have good King you are tough we good K do you think sex education should be taught in the school no why not III think that is the job of the family do you think porn stars should teach sex education in the school why not because I do not respect to pop born the earth stars as you say but there's more born in experience than anyone our country but someone who has had a forehead or whatever will know how to cope with any situation why the some of these situations I wouldn't put myself in for the beginning for real me feeling that Cyril it's me feeling that sister let's talk about the teaching methods do you not think so Road it is time for new teaching method no human nature hasn't changed and the garden I mean what about rap do you think rap should be used in school I don't know what rap is but rap is like you know we checking it my rocking it the feeling it luckily voice and in the house make it feel it like a mouse rather nice is that what it said I think that's for these the schoolyard so what about the math what do you reckon about the mouth do you reckon you rate them off or do you rock the bath the baths the math the math that's the math you know one two three why don't they teach proper math in school what do you mean by Papa Papa maths why do they teach in kilos and grams when you should really deal in ounces for ounces they modernize and teaching ounces I prefer they all ones as being a traditionalist I would have the old things back again wicked and you need to know about quarter ounces eight four ounces without kind of thing well doing bake baking or anything breakfast every day I mean make my own breakfast very good so I mean whoever bought a kilo of anything you know but from me mate Dave and he's down for approval you know I mean what is that useful for the kilo I'm not certain that the kill house is up great what so Road do you think there should be mixed schools I think there should be a choice for parents and the pupils themselves do you not think though if you have mixed schools all the boys will spend all their time chasing math and all the girls who spend all their time just preparing them they're in well control that's cool right it's right but Mimi got an a-plus in punani but me failed me exam this mean was so into the chase in the bit off that's him that's your fault I think overall single sex schools work better than mixed schools but don't you think single 6go skills they just breathe you know people who are drink from the ferry cup is in it but no dam goes that is drinking from the ferry car that like him from the bush II play you know what yeah yes sir roads will they always be education throughout the nation stopping domination they'll always base in the station yeah always be some method of one generation putting in the work of the of the of the next generation wicked you is rocking sir roads by Sun in the house I wish she was my teacher with him years ago and I wouldn't have turned out like this this according to the DSS I live in freer the flats in this block not to mention one in that old biddy zone we was in but not everywhere is as beautiful as the top lower sea state apparently there's this well minging place called the countryside so we got me Maura and checked it out wicked eyes come out to the countryside because he ain't only animals that live here there's also people's too and they have got issues that they is worried about and they is getting all minstrel about so he is finding out what they is check this is important to wear the right clover so you don't look like a prick that you only is wearing wellies your name is teri for years you know take us around this farm check out a few of the animals there you won't come out in the children all right what the [ __ ] is that man things yeah she the upon tube what is going on there what do you use chickens for they lay eggs they look what do you mean they lay eggs come out of chicken yeah where did they come off the backside they cut off they are they wouldn't even eat something it came out of my Julie did you come over me came out of my mum's punani no out of her body me in every another wicked I see in the countryside as chicken these are the fish but it is disrespectful to pull a saga fish it is a terminology we use which is friendly this is no way to suspect so you're not cutting these dogs when you call them [ __ ] you're not saying that there is a bit loose or whatever okay until you call your women the [ __ ] wicked me think me a spider we have learnt to respect the ways of the countryside it is a place of peace and tranquility let's keep it that way as you can see I ain't just the DJ I can also swim this is me 50 minutes this is me Kellogg's water skills one and this may go for rescuing a rubber brick from the bottom of the pool in my pajamas yes they were ill figure the only reason I dive down there was we made Dave told me it was a massive block of ash when we go out we was well pissed off but smoked anyway now if I drop this spliff on the floor which I won't because a it will get soggy and B I may get a Veruca me mouth it will fall downwards toward the ground because of something that lives in the air called science to find out more about this I went to check out the original naughty professor ants wolf check it check this today we're talking about science we got none other than my main man professor Heinz wolf in Brunel University checking out with Brunei as a place in Southeast Asia email University we're talking about science now science is important isn't it professor yes it's very important what is the smallest thing in the universe the smallest thing in the universe are I think some of the elementary particles which make up an atom how small is they well how small I mean how do you mean in Lindon sort of yeah in centimetres millionth of a millimeter is it smaller than a cent smaller than a salt sound is smaller than a salt not necessarily how will you get sand go ahead so is the smallest thing no no one two men if you had any flour is flour is smaller is the smallest thing I thought now what about medicine how is science involved in the medicine medicine is increasingly based on scientific discoveries what about knob enlargements if I understand you correctly and I have to sort of demented bit up some stations about so how the code language which you employ I don't know it's not a subject of which I have ever worked be interested in or require right I would never need one better I can well imagine being a sympathetic sort of guy that if it bears that heavily on somebody's mind that it believes themselves to be insufficient in that department not me I can say that seem a bother what does infinity me infinity means that if you are travelling by any means whether it's phone calls or sitting on a beam of light you'd never come to the end is it a number so is it more or less than a million million million million million minute but even over the head one or two there okay I'll add a million on the end is there edge because by definition even if I carry on saying that all day because the way because the pay isn't anything bigger than a Killian but every time you try to think of however big it is I can always come along and says I've got a number this one bigger and that number is infinite no hello don't think just cause use watch these interviews that you is a brain scientist because you ain't and let's of course you with the brain scientists in which case you probably still is one but for the rest of you know you ain't obviously them people that was sitting a course in the brain scientist thing and they got their result through and opacity during the program congratulation and this don't apply to you and if we have gone mental inside made they know you can sort me out but for the rest of you adore peace out and respect later wit boys don't we go hear me now

Channel: timbland181

Views: 1,597,967

Rating: 4.8592629 out of 5

Keywords: 11 O Clock show, Sasha Baron Cohen

Id: KmvaOipgf-c

Length: 25min 43sec (1543 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 12 2016