AITA For Telling My Girlfriend To Grow Up? [Reddit Relationships Advice]

hey guys check out our new channel for more edit relationship stories relationship hunt link in description enjoy the video am i the antagonist for doing my gf's laundry slash violating her privacy we're both mid-20s and moved in together about four weeks ago i had a surprise day off while my gf was at work so i thought it'd catch up on some house chores part of which was my laundry when i got to the machine i found it was full she forgot to hang her stuff out last night and left it in the machine so i took out her wet clothes and hung them out to dry i then put my clothes in the machine and turned it on some 10 hours later i folded all her now dry clothes and put them on the bed and then hung my clothes out when she got home i told her clothes were folded on her bed she was not pleased by this saying that it violated her privacy by going through her clothes abs that it was even a little creepy how it gone and touched her underwear there were bras and underwear among her clothes now such a thing had never crossed my mind as being weird or creepy when i was growing up i had sisters and of their all my mum's bras and such were in the laundry we just hung them out as normal and they did the same of mine or my dad's stuff was in the machine to me they're just bits of fabric but seeing as my gf didn't see it that way i told her i won't do it again but if that was the case could she please make sure the washing machine is empty as soon as the cycle is done so it's not blocking my schedule and that it do the same for her ty further exacerbated our fighters now she said i was trying to gaslight her by shifting the blame onto her now for the top comments [Music] nta i assume you two have sex i'm so confused why she needs to keep her brows and panties private from the man she has sex with she is making a mountain out of mole hill telling her to process her laundry faster if she doesn't want you touching her things was not at all gaslighting it was a reasonable request given her boundaries years ago when i was waiting tables this sort of issue came up one server approximate 22f was disgusted when a bartender 24f mentioned doing laundry that included a bf's underwear uh omg that is so gross bartender um i put his dick in my mouth what's gross about touching his underwear absolutely hilarious and pretty apt here what nta this comment sums it up the best nta i would have said no a holes here that this was just different ideas of what is private and what is not but she earns the r designation for saying you're gaslighting her that was an unnecessary escalation that prevents you from having a real conversation you two are a team now and it needs to be you plus her versus the problem not uvsr communication is key i do want to add that your take on the laundry is much much more common than hers it's more normal for couples to do each other's laundry than not so it's unfair that she's acting like what you did was unheard of eater it's possible she was embarrassed at the thought of you seeing something like period blood on her underwear and that fear slash embarrassment led her to this flip out doesn't make it okay but maybe there was something more going on that you didn't notice i also don't think it's fair to call your partner creepy for drying and folding laundry unless you have more information she's kind of implying he's perving on her underwear and lying about his motives for doing her laundry that's really not cool i get she may be embarrassed he saw stains or holes or whatever else but going right to an accusation of creepiness is hard to walk back she may not have meant it and instead was just lashing out but if so she needs to apologize if she meant it they have bigger problems exactly there are way better ways to communicate boundaries than calling up a creep nta that's weird she should have said thank you you're her bf not a creepy neighbor nta if you were some rando who did this yeah that would be creepy but you're her living boyfriend seems like a nice thing to do to finish someone else's laundry it isn't like you haven't seen her in those pieces of clothing right the only thing i can think of is that you two moved in together pretty recently and she's still adjusting to what that means requesting she has her stuff out of the way is totally reasonable too the person you are having sex with thinks it's creepy that you handled her undergarments is it creepy when you handle her genitals am i the antagonist for calling my wife irresponsible my wife 25 f and i 26 male have a baby girl that just turned 2 who well calls it my wife loves cosmetics she'll practice a lot and says she's even thinking about starting a muah business however she lately has been wanting to practice makeup on zed which i was cautious about but didn't mind as long as it wasn't a full face nor could she do it every day she agreed to that the next day i heard z whimpering in her room so i decided to check on her and i saw that her skin was terrible she had a really bad rash and blistering in her face her left eye was swollen her skin was very irritated and she kept scratching making it more irritated i quickly got us both dressed and rushed to the doctor's office and it ended up being contact dermatitis one hour after the appointment my wife came home excited saying she can't wait to do another mackey machiaveron's ed and that she bought new products for her to try i confronted her and demanded that she tells me what did she put on zed's face she admits to me that it was a full face of my coop while i was at work and that they even went out to the park so others can see her talent i called her crazy and irresponsible because now our daughter has contact dermatitis and that she broke our agreement she got upset with me calling her irresponsible and lashed out at me saying she was only trying to make her look pretty and that she wanted zed to have a passion for makeup like she does since she doesn't even pay attention to it so now i'm wondering am i the [ __ ] for calling my wife irresponsible now for the top comments nta your daughter is not a doll calling your wife irresponsible as an insult to irresponsible people no fan of makeup on babies but as a dermatologist i suspect the main cause of the rash was the cleaning it off if she used a lot of makeup the soaps and the makeup remover will have stripped her skin causing an irritant dermatitis she could have a contact allergy but from this is less likely baby skin can't tolerate irritants like soap as well as adults as their skin is thinner and only reaches full thickness by eight or nine sulu i have a question about that i just looked it up and it says that contact dermatitis usually shows up minutes to hour after exposure to something who was watching the kid after the mac loop was taken off did the mother seriously just put the kid in a crib slash pen after she was done with her and never check on her after that or even more concerning did she see her daughter start to develop a rash and choose to do nothing about it honestly there's a lot about this that's disturbing behavior probably cleaned her up and put her down for a nap dermatitis developed during the nap i know with my kids i can't walk into their room while here sleeping or they'll wake up and a monitor might not be clear enough to show skin conditions under normal circumstances i can see there being a good reason why but when op told his wife what happened to their daughter she seems to care more about makeup rather than the well-being of her child which makes me wonder if she saw and decided not to do anything nta i'm in moore and i was taught to never ever put macup on children especially babies for that reason specifically and because baby's skin is still so new and sensitive and you're damaging it by putting unnecessary products on it that were never meant for babies or even toddlers your baby cannot say no and your baby cannot fight back against your wife and your wife is treating your baby like a mannequin that should be decorated and showed off this is not okay and it needs to stop edit i wrote [ __ ] in caps because i'm legit panicked on behalf of your baby edit too just wanted to add that there is a reason why us professionals will do a test run on the skin before applying loop directly to the face here's something most people don't know about makeup is that people can have allergic reactions to one or more of the ingredients in macup and it can cause some temporary or long lasting damage to the skin unless properly cared for burns rashes and then scarring from both of these there's also the risk of cross-contamination when people share macup if your wife is applying nysha dow to herself and uses the exact same product and the brush on her baby she's passing off her own bacteria and germs onto your baby and then back to herself cross contamination is also the reason why professional mu is clean and sanitize their products and tools in between clients everything has to be cleaned and sanitized before even touching another client and we have disposable ones for product that is applied to the lashes and the lips your wife has a passion for makeup but it doesn't sound like she'd been through any sort of training otherwise she would have known all of this and her negligence has harmed your baby this is abuse your wife is abusing your baby who can't say no or protest against it and i'm sure even if your baby is protesting your wife could just be ignoring it edit three ignore any typos my autocorrect is being a huge pain lately and changes words without me noticing and even when i fix them autocorrect changes them again i'd also like to add that it's incredibly [ __ ] up that her reason was to make her look pretty like there's just so much wrong right most mothers consider their child beautiful without need for something like mac loop especially a baby my response to this post wth is wrong with your wife nta for sure this isn't okay it's abusive the baby doesn't want it and she wants her to force her to wear makeup and show off her skills with her baby i guarantee you if i saw a mac youth artist that made up their baby like this i'd get out a 1000 football and never hire her this isn't going the way this crazy bee thinks it is am i the antagonist for forcing my son to babysit so i don't know if i'm really the [ __ ] here or not but by how my son's acting i might as well be wanting to see unbiased opinions on this i'm 34 male am a single parent to my two kids 18 male and 11 f i have a meeting coming up this saturday that required me to be out for the whole day in a city about an hour away my usual babysitter isn't able to make it that day since she has prior commitments i contacted the list she gave me four people who she can trust no one available i contacted my friends and yet none were available and i don't interact with family due to other unrelated reasons so that's not an option either my son has never babysit my daughter and that's okay so i asked him if he'd be willing to babysit 11 f i even offered him 100 since i'd be gone for about six hours that day all he had to do was make sure 11f is safe and feed her lunch which i was planning on just ordering from my phone to my home man technology is great so all he had to do was get it from the front door he refused i thought it was a pretty solid deal but i guess not but all good the beating was cancelled anyways and was booked on zoom instead why was it not originally i'll never know today he came knocking on my office door and asked me for some money so he could take his girlfriend out on a date he doesn't have a job i thought to myself that it's been a while since i had a day for myself maybe i'll go fishing so i offered the same exact deal 100 to look after 11 f for the day otherwise no money he started tripping out saying that's not fair to me you're a horrible parent this is parentification she's not my responsibility so on and so forth so i said well if you want money to take your girlfriend out that's how it's going to be he reluctantly accepted but has since been audibly complaining to his friends online 11 11f asked me why teen male doesn't like her which broke my heart her bedroom's next to my office so she probably heard everything at this point i may just take 11 f out on saturday make it a nice father daughter day since my son is being such a drama llama currently am i the antagonist now for the top comments nta your son is acting out 100 is so much money for such a small task honestly he's acting like a spoiled brat no offense you should definitely take your daughter out on saturday i'm sure she would be so happy right i thought it was a pretty solid deal too the museum in my city just opened up she does not like fishing so i think i'll take her there if i go through with backing out of the deal no offense taken he's normally not like this only when things involve disrupting his plans he gets all hot-headed like this and he's clearly been on reddit and now uses parentification incorrectly just please tell him the correct way to use gaslighting and obviously not the a-hole my dad had a rule i didn't have to do chores but i would only get an allowance if i did babysitting can be considered a chore so it seems reasonable to me yet this kid have no idea of what parentification is getting some cash to make sure a kid have meals for one day is a gig having to step up and assume the mental physical and emotional labor of looking out for a kid for extended periods of time with no compensation whatsoever is parentification i'd argue even with compensation if you have no options of getting out of it it is still parentification the difference isn't money it is choice and time nta this is why i dislike reddit and other forums sometimes they take words and throw them around and everyone just starts using them to be lazy justify being shitty one of the key aspects of parentification is a lack of acknowledgement or support for taking on things that are considered parental responsibilities getting paid to babysit a sibling for a couple of hours is both acknowledgement and support your son is just throwing around words he read online while she isn't his responsibility his girlfriend and their date is not yours he is 18. if he wants to treat his girlfriend he needs to get a job if the dad has claimed boyfriend defecation to the request for date money well that would have been slightly our territory but also amazing the bolster at 18 ask your dad money to do something after you turn down a way to get money but to ask for enough for a second person too nta he honestly could if you allowed invite his girlfriend over and have a chill day with his sister while getting some money he fumbled the ball thinking about it he definitely could have i'd been on the wiser nor would i care as long as 11f was fed and not hurt by the time i got back home nta being over 18 it's totally reasonable to expect your son to kick in on helping the household and family you're offering him 100 bucks to basically do nothing besides be at home and he's refusing and then wants you to just give him money for his own recreation in exchange for nothing yikes your kid sounds spoiled lazy and entitled you're not the r except in suffer as you are culpable for raising a child who acts like this close bracket accept insuffer as you are culpable for raising a child who acts like this that's fair it's been pretty rough after my wife passed and i feel that i did drop the bull as a parent if this is how he's acting after being given a pretty sweet deal i would have gobbled this deal up so fast if i was him i wasn't particularly a ready parent at 16 and it's all just a learning process that does sound like a rough situation sorry for your loss best of luck yay pretty rough but it's been about five years now so i'm a lot better now than before thank you am i the antagonist for telling my girlfriend to grow up me 23 male and my girlfriend 27 f have been together for about five years four but literally a week from five and three years into the relationship we had a child for context he wasn't a planned child by any means as we had taken birth control measures early on our war protection and then she started taking birth control neither of us know how the child happened but we accepted that it happened and moved on i finished up the last little bit of college i had and found a job before the baby arrived she stopped working as my income was now enough and now stays home with the baby as we discussed that was what would be best in the following years since the birth of my son my girlfriend has grown increasingly more intolerant at first she was elated wanted to show him off and was happy to deal with everything then it grew to her being annoyed by small things she wanted me to change every diaper we split them once in home and during off days and was annoyed by everything our sun did flash forward now and contrary to the saying terrible twas he tends to be very well behaved he doesn't cry that much he adapted to potty training quickly and well and he doesn't really fuss my girlfriend has been going out a lot i don't have a problem with it because everyone needs time to have fun and relax this night was the night she went out a few nights ago my son came to my side of the bed he woke me up and told me that he peed in his sleep i told him it was okay i woke up my girlfriend and told her and asked her to clean him up quickly while i went and cleaned it she took a minute to wake up so i went ahead and left to go clean it up in the middle of it i heard her screaming at our son i go in there and ask her why she's screaming at him and she responds that it's because he peed the bed i told her has to and that accidents happen this shouldn't be a moment to scold him and scream she said that since i could be better i should do it so i helped him get cleaned up and then cleaned up in his room and by that time he fell asleep on the couch i covered him up and went back to my room when i got back is when the argument started i told her that i shouldn't have to handle that alone because she can't control her anger she told me that since i was such a good parent i should quit my job and stay at home and she should go work since she's so horrible she went on with this for about five minutes before telling me she regrets having our son a little shocked i told her she didn't have a way of finding a job capable of supporting us and that she proposed the idea of her staying home when he was born i told her she needed to grow up because the way she was acting will be something he remembers ever since we've barely spoken now and wondering if i took it too far now for the top comments nta but i think there may be different things involved your gf may be regretting the lost years of being pregnant plus having a child perhaps she wants to pursue a career can you afford to send your kid to a daycare center if she looks for a job maybe she's looking to find her identity and not just as a mother it may be a bunch of things i'd suggest talking about it about what you both want what you're both able to do given the circumstances and what things you both need to negotiate slash give up because you both decided to have a child and i know it's a moot comment but congrats on being pretty grounded and growing up so quickly not every guy i know old reacted like you did close bracket the kid would also benefit from spending time with other kids and being cared for by someone with more patience it sounds like sahm isn't the right choice here i know there is no way i could have been rsahm first of all as my ex-husband didn't earn enough but after nine months of maternity leave i was ready to go back to work part-time and two to three days a week really helped me be a better parent honestly as i just couldn't do sahm full-time like q-dos to people who do i think rather than posting on reddit about this one argument you need to see the bigger picture your girlfriend is struggling and clearly is not coping well as a stay-at-home mum you two need to figure this out perhaps she needs some therapy to work through her anger towards her son could well be postpartum depression perhaps you two need to find a way for her to return to work this is much bigger than one late-night argument and it needs resolving as soon as possible i violently agree with you i also want to add being a rsahm isn't for everyone and not everyone knows that right out of the gate i think there is a lot of middle ground between her staying home 100 of the time and her being the breadwinner could she get a job that is enough to cover childhood even part-time next fall your kiddo will be old enough for regular preschool could you afford for the kid to do that while she has a part-time job or goes back to school it's so so hard for me to work full-time as a mom like the old saying about democracy it's the absolute worst system except for all the other ones for me ymv it's apparent she's drowning here and it will benefit your son and everyone else for her to be healthy and supported being a rsahm isn't for everyone yes this it's [ __ ] hard and if you don't actually love it the hardness can break you i love staying home with my kiddo it's what i always dreamed of but [ __ ] is it not easy to go all day every day having conversations with a two-year-old who needs near constant attention while everyone else you know gets to go have conversations with adults about things other than dinosaurs and poop some of the best mothers i've ever known mothers i aspire to be more like including my own mother and best friend have told me flat out that they would have lost it if they'd had to be at home full full-time when their kids were little and they have perfectly healthy happy grown or nearly grown children who adore them being a rsahp is a choice that should not be made likely and should be re-evaluated often it sounds like op thinks this decision made before their child was even born locks his gf into full-time childcare forever it definitely should not my mom worked part-time when i was a child because she knew that she couldn't spend all day alone with me and my brother without going insane obviously she loves us daily but she was never meant to be a stay-at-home mom it just isn't for everyone um ppd can appear up to two years after the birth of a child i don't think this is an [ __ ] question i think that your girlfriend needs a doctor she is literally saying the trademark ppd spiel right now especially if she was excited to be a mother before now i think you need to prioritize getting her to a doctor treat this seriously and as an urgent condition that needs attention right away takes a cleave from work if you have to and consider finding alternate care for your son until you can get her into her gp

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Views: 1,111

Rating: 4.891892 out of 5

Keywords: aita, askreddit, reddit aita, reddit open marriage, reddit, cheating reddit, reddit cheating wife, reddit cheating, aita update, reddit relationships, reddit update, reddit stories, reddit funny, reddit breakup stories, reddit confession, relationship STORIES, reddit family relationships, reddit relationship advice, relationship drama, break ups, reddit cheating girlfriend, reddit revenge, reddit creepy, reddit school, reddit relationship stories, tifu, reddit hunt

Id: CZqy_CXwO0M

Length: 24min 32sec (1472 seconds)

Published: Thu Apr 15 2021