AITA For Going Above My Son's Teacher? [Reddit Relationships Advice]

hey guys check out our new channel for more edit relationship stories relationship hunt link in description enjoy the video am i the antagonist for yelling at my bf4 telling personal stuff to family so my 24f boyfriend 25 male and i have been seeing each other for a few years now and everything is going well we get along well with each other's family up until now some relevant personal info is that my dad who i don't speak to is an addict he did some hard drugs staring with a male and spent time in jail for it but his record is now clean regardless he's opposed and emotionally and financially abused me all my life so obviously i told my boyfriend this because he asked about my dad and it's important i guess his backstory but it's a sore spot for me and i don't talk about it much well the problem starts with him telling his mom about my dad when i'm not there on a phone call next thing i knew his mom was calling me asking why i didn't think this was important info for them to know i asked what she meant and she said when you guys have kids i don't want my grandchildren to be addicts which makes no sense anyways because i don't even want kids after getting an earful from her and telling me she never would have drank in front of me if she knew i don't drink by choice how she doesn't judge me but she will be careful from now on and other weird [ __ ] i hung up the phone and went to my bf who confessed he had told her about my dad but didn't know she would react like that i told him he had no right to go telling his family anything about my backstory because it doesn't pertain to them in any way and he told me he could tell them whatever he wanted how addiction is a disease so she wasn't really wrong that it's wrong to purposely hide that from him i told him cancer runs in my family too are you going to tell your mom that too does she want a full medical history before she allows me to have your children it just got really ugly anyways he hasn't spoken to me since unless it was to be passive aggressive or ask if i need to talk to someone and i don't really know what to do here anyways i'm starting to feel guilty that maybe i overreacted because my dad is such a sore spot and maybe i should have told them all sooner i don't know am i the antagonist edit okay holy [ __ ] i didn't expect this to blow up this much while i was sleeping thanks everyone for the awards and private messages i'll be trying to respond to comments as i can now for the top comments nta but are you sure you want to be with someone who can't stand up for you not only that but i feel like doing what he did breaks trust and he can't even own up to that how do you know you can trust to tell him anything that is private to you now nta addiction stigma is real the only person in this story who is more garbage than your boyfriend's mom is your boyfriend himself he can't just tell people what you tell him in confidence you are supposed to be a team and he's failed at his part both my parents are like ops i have spent my life trying to be better than them when i tell people about them i have seen people's whole demeanor change because they view me differently sometimes i get a omg but you turned out so well which is nicer but still biased because they are saying they expected me to an addict as well i've never even smoked a cigarette lol but the stigma is absolutely real op you are not the r but your boyfriend's mom most definitely is she already has formed a bias against you and that will probably never change no matter what you do how you behave she always view you through the lens of a possible addict you will always be competing against her view of you that's a toxic family that will never fully accept you you deserve better than that i don't think itv's that they expect you to be an addict as well rather that they are surprised you're so well balanced despite what you went through it's a well-known fact that drug abuse traumatizes all family around you even if they never pick up the habit this is especially valid in the case of addicts children that you turned out a functional human being in spite of your what i assume to be traumatic childhood is a compliment my dad's an alcoholic and abandoned me when i was five no then kept coming back every once in a while to tell mum he loved her despite being married to another woman and having a younger daughter i grew up in a broken family with a mentally shattered single mother when i tell people this and they go you turned out so well i take pride in saying yeah i worked very hard to break away from that i like who i am nta his family isn't entitled to your private business that's your story to tell when you are ready to he doesn't get to make that choice for you so he's an offer doing so he also went behind your back to do it so even he knows he's wrong to have blabbed when i was 15 i dated a guy who i told about past sexual abuse he then went to tell his mother who told my parents when i hadn't been able to yet and then said it was for my own good and that he didn't ask me or tell me because he knew i would get mad up take some time and think if you are willing to live with that disrespect towards your history and your regards i'm really sorry that happened to you there are no words to describe how you must have felt it's what pushed me to go to therapy and to snap out of it and realize it was not a good relationship also sucked because people around me told me i was overreacting because his intentions were good very much over it by now but those were not fun times thanks for the concern three nta but do yourself a favor and toss him away maybe it's the wording but it sounds to me like the kind of family where the fact you don't want children won't matter at all as long as your bs dear mama is happy oh and the boyfriend should put these back into his pocket he dropped them what a freaking piece of artwork this dude must be am i the antagonist for not getting to know my nephew and niece and not wanting to bring them into my home i 27 f have an older sister 28 f we are 18 months apart in age i have a two-year-old son she has a five-year-old son and a three-year-old daughter i have never met her kids my sister and i never got along and i'll be honest that i don't know why it started petty stuff more than likely but i will always remember that my sister wished i had never been born she told me multiple times she told my friends our parents really hated it and i remember all the times they would talk to us about not having to be best friends but we should be respectful and not mean we went to therapy individually together they tried to get our cousins to help things not by forcing time together but by trying to encourage less hostility when i graduated high school she didn't show up she got a lot of [ __ ] for it and then when she showed up at our cousin's graduation a week later in a different city she made her feelings very clear that i should not have sent our family after her i didn't but she blamed me and that if she hadn't been clear before she never wanted me for her sister she wished i had never been born and everyone would have been better off without me around i asked her what i ever did she told me she didn't have to tell me anything and to leave her alone so i did and i have she refused to bring her kids around me she would give ultimatums to family either invite her and exclude me or invite us both that she would not be there she had a fit at our grandmother's 70th birthday because grandma wanted her to come anyway and she showed up and wouldn't bring her son in who was a baby at the time because i was there it seems now she has calmed a little our parents babysit for her and they have shown me texts where she told them it was okay to have me around them they asked but i said no i said no for two reasons i know she would stop that access at any time for any reason and i could do nothing about it and i'm worried if she did that it would hurt my son as he gets older and if he got to bond with them i should also point out she had a very nasty response when my parents tried getting her to meet him my parents don't get my refusal they told me i should jump at the chance then a week ago they asked me to watch the kids for two hours for them i said no i said i didn't feel comfortable with that my parents tore me to pieces for not doing more to have a relationship with my niece and nephew and that i should be ashamed i'm having some guilt about my decision am i the antagonist now for the top comments nta you are under no obligations to rebuild bridges other people burned yeah some people like walking with a can of gasoline spilling behind them and lid match in their other hand you do not need to put time and resources rebuilding the bridge when they will just burn it back down again my ex does exactly that she would get upset with someone at the slightest misstep and then would tear that friend and you [ __ ] guilty tripping them then trash talk them to mutual friends then complaining to me how she had no friends jeez i wonder why is that do we have the same ex nta she has hurt you repeatedly in the past and damaged your relationship it's entirely your choice whether you want to try repairing it or not but honestly given that she hasn't even offered an apology it doesn't seem that it would be worth it and your parents should stay out of it since you're a grown adult and can handle relationships yourself she doesn't want to repair her relationship with me she's just open to me meeting her kids that is what partly worries me more would she use her kids to hurt me more baffled by this when i hate people i don't let them near my kids i'd stay the hell away honestly unless she's actually prepared to ask for a reconciliation otherwise you're just opening yourself up to more abuse when i hate people i don't let them near my kids seems to me this sister only hates her enough not to take advantage of free babysitting just goes to show that there's no actual reason behind the hate the sister knows op isn't harmful nta i wonder if she is suddenly okay with you being around because she needs another babysitter either way she was malicious and curly her entire lives and can have her wish of not having a sister now i don't know honestly maybe she still has no interest in meeting my son according to the texts so just guessing she's now okay with you meeting her kids because she is finding herself in need of childhood more frequently than she did in the past and the reason i suspect she still doesn't want to meet your sunnies because she doesn't want to have to return the favor by watching your son nta your sister has some real issues i'd have trouble forgiving a person who treated me garbage for most of my life why would you want to bring that negativity around your kid also has she even apologized or tried to make amends doesn't sound like it don't let that back into your life oh she still doesn't want me around her she's just okay with me meeting her kids apparently that's a mess you want to stay away from am i the antagonist for going above my son's teacher after she asked him if he was gay my son is 13 and as quirky it's very easy to confuse a 13 year old boy who isn't really into sports and more into greek literature as being effeminate he is also a late bloomer given these circumstances in middle school it's very easy to be labeled as being gay as his dad i'm pretty sure he will be straight he has a few issues with some classmates that's more related to personality conflicts those same classmates are your average middle school [ __ ] who are [ __ ] to everyone it doesn't rise up to the standard of bullying long story short my son's teacher noticed this and wanted to discuss it with him my son said he didn't care and his teacher went off about how people shouldn't treat him because he's different my son was very confused and his teacher asked well you're queer aren't you my son came home crying over it and the comment was made within an ear shot of another kid who laughed now that's bullying i am allowed the teacher who quickly turned it on to me saying that he was concerned that my son wasn't getting the support at home if he was queer and was being bullied at school over it i told him my son's sexuality was none of his business he apologized and asked to meet with me and my son personally to apologize in person i thought about it and decided an apology wasn't enough there needed to be accountability and this teacher needed to be taught a lesson himself i went to the principal who was pretty livid after spending a few days looking into the matter she wouldn't say what the outcome was but the teacher was maya and i heard he got suspended for a couple of days edit for people who are asking me how i know if my son is straight it's a moot point the real point is that his sexuality is none of his teachers business furthermore if he thought my son was being bullied or harassed then he should have gone to me instead of taking matters into his own hands the teacher didn't see my son getting beaten up or even called a name what he saw was my son being different than most of the other boys in his class and concluded that he must be queer or gay or whatever now for the top comments ash the teacher sucks the most and what he did was incredibly inappropriate he should have found a way to signal to all potential kia plus questioning students that he was an ally without directly confronting your son when i taught i made it very open and clear that i'm supportive of the gay community in trans rights by simply asking the students for their pronouns and preferred names on their classroom surveys lo and behold i had students coming out to me sharing about their home issues etc it should always be the student who approaches the teacher to discuss these issues never the other way around that said i'm also giving you an r rating but a gentle one you've stated that the classmate's previous behavior doesn't rise to the level of bullying but it sounds like it did you've also said that it's easy to confuse your son as gay and that you're pretty sure he will be straight because you're his father what these comments suggest the tiniest hint of homophobia he's already gay or straight or b or whatever he's just still figuring it out like every other kid his age the comment about how it's easy to confuse him as gay is pretty loaded with stereotypes and assumptions gay people come in all kinds of forms i know a lot of mass gay men who are into sports one was a professional athlete if you're saying stuff like that around the house he may feel like it wouldn't be acceptable to come out to you or he may convince himself that he is gay because he fits into the gay stereotype more than the straight one also if the teacher truly believed your son may not have the support he needs to come out i would take a moment to reflect on why the teacher felt that way their actions were inappropriate but it's quite possible that your son has made some statements alluding to a fear of being gay or had some other reaction that concerned the teacher i don't think you're a monster and it seems clear to me that you love your son but i would consider that his reaction to his teacher might warrant a conversation where you let him know that he will always be supported in your home no matter who he loves edit ops responses make it pretty clear that he is homophobic and would struggle to accept his son if he turns out to be gay i totally understand why the teacher had these concerns now the problem was she didn't ask him she assumed he was in front of other kids are you gay is very different than you are gay right and she called him different that is so [ __ ] her up ash the teacher shouldn't have assumed your kid wasn't straight and you shouldn't be assuming he is you're also pretty damn blessed about the fact your son's being constantly bullied the teacher probably thought he saw an lgbt kid who was lacking parental support he was at least half right info why did your son come home crying about it is it possible he was just outed in front of another student sorry you don't get to decide if your kid's sexuality is any of your teachers business that's not your decision to make that decision belongs to your kid and your kid alone everyone sucks here you more so emo i told him my son's sexuality was none of her business he apologized and asked to meet with me and my son personally to apologize in person so is the teacher male or female my son was very confused and his teacher asked well you're queer aren't you if the teacher is male and he used the term queer he might be gay himself and thought he was being informal and candid which could be seen as a sign of idk bonding or support and then we have to take into account the possible homophobia of the op slash dad or even potentially the kid himself who inserted the term queer what did the teacher actually say i thought about it and decided an apology wasn't enough there needed to be accountability and this teacher needed to be taught a lesson himself referring again to the teacher as male i'm also a bit concerned about the ops clearly stated desire for revenge there are a lot of different angles on this one i also wondered about op repeatedly switching the pronouns for the teachers i'm starting to wonder if the teacher is openly trans or something am i the antagonist for walking away when my friends joked about fairy rings for people who don't know what fairy rings are their rings usually made of mushrooms in fields there's folklore attached to them that says if a human steps into one the fairies will take them away i know this is not real but i grew up with a very superstitious grandmother who would tell me this [ __ ] all the time as a kid if she saw me walking towards one she would literally yell for me to stop and change direction as an adult again i know they are not real but that doesn't mean i'm about to start walking through fairy rings willy-nilly i live with my boyfriend and two friends a couple and we arranged to meet another couple for a hike they tease me a lot for being superstitious as there have been a few other times that it's come up we were hiking and i saw a fairy ring directly ahead again i know they aren't real but i just tilted a little to the left so i went around no one noticed then a few minutes later there was another and again i went around this then happened a third time at that point my friend asked why i kept swerving away from the group i was like ha didn't notice but boyfriend realized and burst out laughing telling them what i'm doing they started laughing and joking and then began jumping in and out of the ring and stumping kicking the mushrooms while teasing me about it they were loud enough that a few people nearby were looking over and they looked like total [ __ ] i told them to stop but they didn't i then started walking we were on our way back so i just kept going they caught up with me a few minutes later and three out of the five people i was said i was being a prat and overreacting making them feel bad and ruining a nice day out i said that acting like [ __ ] in public wasn't my idea of a good time and they said i was being [ __ ] the other two said the joke's over let's just head back and things went back to normal however once we were back my boyfriend rounded on me and echoed his earlier sentiments he was one of the people who gave me [ __ ] saying that i embarrassed him and was acting [ __ ] over a joke and i'm being overly superstitious and need to chill i said he was being a pillock then and he's being one now and i'm sick of them teasing me and they should have known when i wasn't laughing along that i didn't find it funny he said they aren't mind readers and i can't expect them to just know i don't find things funny and i owe him and the others an apology for getting upset over a joke about something i take too seriously anyway am i the antagonist now for the top comments nta it wasn't funny when they were teasing you and it was doubly unfunny when they stomped on the mushrooms for no good reason like even if you don't care about fairy rings don't [ __ ] up our fungal friends given all they do for the forest i hate people who wreck [ __ ] for no reason mushy rings are cool as [ __ ] and they ruined it for everyone else nta dear boyfriend slash friends look i know fairies aren't real what is real is that you belittled and hurt me over a harmless tradition i held with my beloved grandmother it is not okay to make fun of me over something that makes me feel closer to an elderly past loved one you are not being a very good friend slash partner really play it up and throw on the guilt they were acting like total dicks over something so silly also how about leave no trace hiking it's nice for others to enjoy the fairy rings so leave them be nta your boyfriend doesn't sound like a fungi and those friends are pretty poor spore t s there must be a moral in there somewhere yeah he and your friends have mushroom to grow as people nta even if they were not fairy rings they jumped on mushrooms for fun something the local fauna needs for food all one that makes the mars and some people don't go on ladders some people ask a guy in the sky about blessings and some people don't walk into the fairy rings nothing is wrong with that nta they don't have to find fairy rings serious or avoid them at all but that's not what they were doing they were bullying you what also annoys me op didn't embarrass him he embarrassed himself by acting like this if he can't take a hint that's on him doubling down makes it even worse nta i wouldn't make fun of someone for not walking under a ladder also wouldn't ask for an apology if i made fun of them and they got upset also i'm assuming you're irish maybe i completely understand the superstition my granny and ants would be the same way i don't see why you need to apologize at all maybe it's just a culture thing for superstitions like this nta there's a very scientific reason for why mushrooms can grow like that but that doesn't mean you turn douche and stomp them to mock a person who has a tradition around their appearance this all seems much more a case of people acting nasty to someone and then others wanting the mistreated person to take it to keep the peace than about mushrooms though lots of people feel like it's easier to get the wrong person to take the hit than to get the instigators to take responsibility your boyfriend and friends seem to care a lot more about not having to feel uncomfortable for their bad behavior when you're walking away made it clear they were being hurtful then about the impact of their actions it's tyler not a good look to care more about someone talking about bad behavior than the bad behavior in the first place but that's people for you just cause there's more of them trying to smooth it over though doesn't mean they're right keep not stepping on mushrooms with your head held high nta if someone isn't actively laughing it's pretty obvious they don't find the joke funny if anybody keeps going at that point it's not a joke it's just being mean i know they aren't real said while glancing over shoulder but the number one thing i'm not doing is trying to find out for sure exactly if someone does have a run in with fee it sure as [ __ ] won't be me

Channel: Reddit Hunt

Views: 2,048

Rating: 4.8904109 out of 5

Keywords: aita, askreddit, reddit aita, reddit open marriage, reddit, cheating reddit, reddit cheating wife, reddit cheating, aita update, reddit relationships, reddit update, reddit stories, reddit funny, reddit breakup stories, reddit confession, relationship STORIES, reddit family relationships, reddit relationship advice, relationship drama, break ups, reddit cheating girlfriend, reddit revenge, reddit creepy, reddit school, reddit relationship stories, tifu, reddit hunt

Id: 2GbUVyW_E6I

Length: 24min 49sec (1489 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 16 2021