AITA For Telling My Mom That I Simply Don't Love Her? [Reddit Relationships Advice]

hey guys check out our new channel for more addict relationship stories relationship hunt link in description enjoy the video am i the antagonist for excluding my son from the will i am 55 have always had a troubled relationship m29 he was rude and had a narcissistic composition this was diagnosed by a therapist when he was 14 he always treated us as if we were beneath him this was the same with his teachers and friends however my son was incredibly talented he got into mit and is currently making over 500k a year we also have a daughter f 26 she was abused by our son and tried to keep up with his standards she didn't do as well as a son and ended up at a community college we had to put her through years of therapy in college and she has come to accept everyone is different we are incredibly proud of her the rest of our family think our son is the golden child of the family but they are heavily mistaken he helps out our relatives with financial problems but we'll brag about it for the next year he'll be like remember you were so broke and if it were not for me you would be on the streets i'm a godsend my son is married and has already had his first son he has mellowed down from his narcissistic tendencies ever since he got married his wife is a leading neurobiologist and is brilliant she is kind and has done wonders for him he has even started donating to charity and i've heard from my family he is perfect in every way and we should be proud of him i do acknowledge he has changed and i'm happy for him my wife and i are getting old while we are not going to fall of the wagon anytime soon we need to be prepared we don't have a lot we have our family home and the suburbs worth around 100k and our retirement funds we have agreed and put the house in our daughter's name and whatever is left from our retirement funds this is mainly because my son already owns a 2 million house and drives a mustard and porsche with a combined 7-digit household income somehow my son has found out about the will and approached me he said he was upset that he was not considered a part of the family and written out of the will he claims he has as much of a right to the family home as his sister he says he shouldn't be punished because of his sister's lack of success middle also expressed disappointment in us which really breaks my heart as she is an angle my son doesn't want our grandson to be around us because he doesn't want to feel second best this is breaking my wife's heart because she loves him my brother called me enough for prioritizing my daughter but no one understands that my son can take care of himself my wife wants to rewrite the will and i'm conflicted now for the top comments your son and his wife need to understand that your will is not a sentimental document through which you declare your love for your children it's a practical document that benefits your daughter only because your son is already stinking rich if he can't accept that i don't think he's recovered from his narcissism quite as much as you think especially considering the fact that his interpretation of your decision is that he's being punished for his sister's lack of success that is incredibly unkind offer him things you have related to his childhood or choose some things for him to include in your will so he can't contest it at the end of the day it's your money and your house to give away he does not have any automatic right to any of it i'd say your first priority is the welfare of your daughter so don't let him play his games and blackmail you emotionally by withholding his son he needs to realize the damage he's done and the damage he's doing his wife may have been able to tone down his worst narcissistic behavior but that doesn't mean it's gone not the a-hole i understand that my daughter is my priority when my son moved out for college he took all the things he loved with him we had a grandfather clock but it broke and we've gotten rid of it i'm racking my brain trying to think of things which will hold sentimental value to him but there is nothing i can find i think my only option is to talk to his wife and hope to convince her that we are looking for our daughter's future but if that does not work i will be up front with my wife that she will never have a relationship with her grandson and that many members of our family will resent us but we have to keep our daughter no one for safety i will put a little money for him so he cannot contest the will but i doubt he will what if your wife refuses to follow along with the plan anymore what if she creates a separate will from you leaving her half of the property and assets to your son this is a possibility i will not discount if it were to happen i will accept it as she has as much of a right to it as i do actually there are ways that spouses can agree to make certain behests unchangeable go to an estate lawyer don't try to do this yourself you also need to consider getting some advice on the transfer of your home especially if you are in the u.s if you or your wife require nursing care the state looks at whether you transferred large assets away rather than selling them to pay for your care go to a lawyer and get some advice nta i don't believe he's changed at all his reaction still sounds like the manipulation of a narcissistic person if it's possible rewrite the will in a way that leaves him the most minuscule thing possible that he can't legally contest at all that way your daughter's inheritance is protected from him how did he learn about the will there's really no reason for people to talk about who gets what until your death did you tell your daughter who told her brother in a desperate attempt to show her worth to him in my experience people who feel the need to tell everyone how they have helped others don't help out due to the kindness of their heart they want recognition for their generosity and holding a grandson hostage because you won't ask how high when he says jump he's the [ __ ] nta but keep your financial affairs to yourself there's really no reason for people to talk about who gets what until your death i'm guessing this differs my very large southern family talk very casually about who gets what when the elders die it's not taboo at all to ask four things when you pass i know other families like this i was surprised when my ex seemed upset when he heard us casually talking about stuff like that i bet they don't casually talk about cutting one child out of the will entirely am i the antagonist for saying things my wife gives our infant in front of our child's doctor my wife and i have a two-month-old daughter for the past month she's been feeding our baby mashed potatoes apple sauce sweet tea assorted fruit juices and other things the last time we went to the doctor our pediatrician told us to not give her anything but formula until she was between four six months old my wife does not care and says she knows best for our child and our doctor isn't the parent our daughter is always constipated and screams for hours at night that my wife says is colic i've asked her numerous times to stop feeding our infant table food and go back to giving her formula she is only feeding her one or two bottles of formula while i'm at work the other morning she was cooking scrambled eggs and oatmeal and i was off work so i started to make our daughter a bottle and feed her and she stopped me and told me not to fill her up with that and she wanted her to eat her oatmeal first i fed her the bottle anyway after a huge argument well baby had a doctor's appointment and my wife was talking about the colic and screaming fits and when the doctor asked what she was feeding her she only said formula nothing else i was angry because she lied and told her the pediatrician every single thing that she had been giving her and the doctor strongly recommended her to stop and that she was causing stomach upset and more than likely the reason for all her stomach issues instead of being apologetic for this my wife is mad at me and told me i ratted her out to the doctor and that she doesn't have to listen to her and that it's only a recommendation and that i made her look like a bad parent i tell her what a selfish little [ __ ] she was being and now she wants me to go stay with my parents until she forgives me and asks me to come home am i the antagonist here i maybe i shouldn't have flew mad at her and said some things i did maybe i should apologize to my wife now for the top comments nta is this normal for her i ask just in case some postpartum issue this quite odd behavior your child is going to be vitamin deprived baby will have potential damage to body you need to protect your baby see if you can take some time off of work to be there to ensure baby is being fed properly or maybe trusted family member you will be the ass if you don't intervene and ensure baby is safe no she's been very off i've asked her several times if she is okay and she says she is fine sometimes i wake up in the middle of the night and she's wide awake sitting up in the bed and staring at the wall then when i ask if she's okay she just says yes and lays back down i get up with our daughter as well but my wife is always awake i assume she sleeps during the day while i'm at work read up on the symptoms of postpartum depression and other postpartum mood disorders this is concerning this sounds more like postpartum psychosis than bpd op needs to do as several have suggested do not let her be alone with the baby call the pediatrician and fill them in fully call the mum's doctor and tell them that something is severely wrong she needs a psych hold to get emergency treatment so she asks the drive about the problem and then expects some magical cure when she lies about what she's feeding the baby and also wants to reject the medical advice because she's what an expert do what's right for your child based on the advice of doctors your wife sounds way off base on this one nta eddy to at your wife knows she's wrong saying you ratted her out is telling to me not sure why she's putting the health of your child at risk to be the obstinate parent she lies about what she's feeding the baby i can kind of see her messed up logic she sure that the doctor is wrong about feeding baby only formula if she tells the truth the doctor will tell her to stop feeding the baby adult food if she lies the doctor will have to find the real reason the baby is hurting she's betting her child's life on her being right and the doctor being wrong yes and she's betting her baby's life on probably no research too at least all the websites i looked at say absolutely do not give a two-month-old back quote real food so i don't even know where she's getting her ideas but it's really really dangerous and op needs to get full custody as soon as possible even four months is on the early side this is one of the scarier threads on here at the daycare i used to work at we wouldn't give infants real food until they were at least six months old and even then it was really only if the parents insisted she's absolutely right you should leave make damn sure you take that poor baby with you not the a-hole yep pick up baby formula and car keys then leave your wife may have ppd or something else going on but you need to immediately get your baby to a safe place and then investigate help for your wife am i the antagonist for telling my mom that i simply don't love her backstory my m16 mom and dad had me when they were both really young dad was 15 mom was 16. when i was really young my mom had a problem with drugs that eventually resulted in my dad getting full custody when she got pulled over high with me in the car last year my dad got married to his boyfriend of three years pop from here on out who is honestly a godsend my mom lives about three hours away and we don't talk often she never really kicked the drugs and she's in and out of rehab she doesn't feel like a mom to me we used to talk a lot more often but she did some things that really just made me hate her she said some homophobic things about dad and pop she showed up at my school unannounced and made a fool of herself to the point she had to be dragged away by campus security and she has promised countless times that she would get clean for me and never did now the only reason i talk to her is because i know it's important to my grandparents her parents that we have a relationship anyway she called a few weeks ago and she told me that she had just gotten out of rehab she's been clean for six months and she wants to move to my town to be closer to me i really didn't know what to say she has been sober before and she's not a very good person sober either she's really manipulative i said something vague like maybe that's not a great idea and she started sobbing over the phone saying how she's desperate for us to be closer and how she wants to be there for me i asked where she was for the first 16 years of my life and she said that it wasn't her fault and that it was the drugs i was feeling kind of bad at this point but i knew i didn't want her in my life for several reasons one she's homophobic and it makes pop and dad upset two she's really mean and manipulative and three i just don't love her i wanted to shut down the conversation in my relationship with her so i said maya i really just don't love you and i hung up she hasn't stopped calling and my grandparents keep calling me and ah even dad and pop say i was a bit too harsh was i am i the antagonist ignore my crappy english now for the top comments i said something vague like maybe that's not a great idea and she started sobbing over the phone saying how she's desperate for us to be closer and how she wants to be there for me maya may have stayed our substances for six months because she was in a rehab facility but this phone call indicates she still has severe problems if the first thing an addict does when they leave rahab is to call people they hurt and expect to be welcomed back with open arms they are still badly screwed up and the likelihood of them relapsing is extremely high i'm sorry i hope she's the exception but she still hasn't taken ownership of the immense hurt and damage she's inflicted on you her statement of how she wants to be there for you is a self-serving fantasy or a trite bus race she thinks people want to hear it is far more likely that what she wants is for you to be there for her you are not the a-whole your parents and grandparents are playing a stupid game called let's pretend like everything is fine and maybe it will all turn out to be perfect good on you for not playing along when slash if she relapses she'll try to say your coldness to her was partly why this is a lie she's a sole decider about picking up her drug use again you play no part in her decision to use drugs this all of this another warning sign that she's not taking sobriety serious is her saying her absence wasn't her fault it was the drugs right off the bat she's using the drugs as an excuse to get back into son's life instead of taking responsibility for her actions and respecting that those actions had the consequence of not wanting to immediately dive headfirst into a mother-son relationship with her op not the a-hole i'm glad you have supportive parents in your life you don't automatically owe anyone a relationship just because they gave birth to you you extra strength do not owe anyone a relationship when they've been absent from your life after endangering it when you were a small child an honest sponsor or therapist would hold her accountable for this manipulation instead of men's and personal responsibility which likely means she is not actually working with either i'm pretty cynical about a lot of rehab programs because for a variety of reasons lack of money or insurance coverage being most common they graduate people like my who clearly are not cured nor are they even stabilized she may have been discharged to a local halfway house but you are right she has a very low chance of staying clean and rebuilding healthy relationships dry them out and wrote group therapy i'm leaning towards not the a-hole of course it's a bit harsh but love is earned after all the things you've been through i completely understand why enough is enough for you how's the bond with your grandparents any chance they'll listen to you if you try and tell them how you mom has made you feel i'm sorry you have to go through this up nta i'm a recovering alcoholic slash addict and my parents have custody of my son he's 16 and he's turned out to be a wonderful person i was drinking and on and off in jail i was in rehab so many times i was sober and then relapsed so many times i saw and talked to my son off and on throughout the years i even blacked out and drove drunk with him put him in danger i'd always wake up in jail and have to call my parents to figure out why i was in jail when i finally really got sober six years ago i felt so many emotions about my son but i knew that all of it was my fault i f ked up not him so i never came at him all crazy like i'm the mama now when you're really serious about being sober you don't blame the drugs you just say i'm sorry you absolutely do not expect anything from anyone because you don't deserve it you don't deserve trust or forgiveness you have to just keep going you keep living and keep doing the next right thing and when one day you visit your kid and when you leave and he gives you a hug and when he says love you mom you walk out the door and fall down on your knees and weep and you thank god and keep doing the next right thing ops mom isn't in recovery until she can say it's all my fault not the a-hole and i'm so very happy that you have two great parents that love you and i'm so very sorry that you don't have three

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Views: 1,919

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Keywords: aita, askreddit, reddit aita, reddit open marriage, reddit, cheating reddit, reddit cheating wife, reddit cheating, aita update, reddit relationships, reddit update, reddit stories, reddit funny, reddit breakup stories, reddit confession, relationship STORIES, reddit family relationships, reddit relationship advice, relationship drama, break ups, reddit cheating girlfriend, reddit revenge, reddit creepy, reddit school, reddit relationship stories, tifu, reddit hunt

Id: XmUUWo43JuU

Length: 18min 44sec (1124 seconds)

Published: Mon Apr 12 2021