AITA For Telling My Sis That She Shouldnt Of Married A Religious Man? [Reddit Relationships Advice]

hey guys check out our new channel for more addict relationship stories relationship hunt link in description enjoy the video am i the antagonist for asking my son to move out because i need his room for a nursery i wish i didn't have to ask him to move out i enjoy having him close to me and would love it if all of my kids could be together under the same roof but my husband and i only have a three british rail house with one of those belonging to my daughter a miner and one to us that only leaves my son's room for a nursery i had considered using our room as a temporary nursery for up to a year after the baby is born which would give him more time until he has to move but i think that would make things extremely cramped and uncomfortable for us all we do have an unfinished basement but he doesn't want to move down there and i don't blame him it's not really livable and it wouldn't be comfortable that brings me to the conflict i had discussed this over and over with my husband and a few close family members and friends since i felt guilty about asking him to move out and wasn't sure if i was doing the right thing but everyone i talked to said that it wouldn't be wrong of me to ask him to move out because he has a good job and can afford to pay rent somewhere plus he isn't saving for a house right now so staying with us rent-free isn't helping him achieve any of his goals it may also be good for him to have a place for himself since he's 24 and has never lived on his own i still felt terrible about asking him to move out so my husband and i agreed to give him until the baby is born plus a grace period of month or so after to move that's at least six months we also agreed to pay for movers and moving supplies plus his deposit and first month's rent to help make this easier on him if he needs more help beyond this like with furniture or other things he might need for his apartment we are willing to provide it when i brought this up to my son he was not happy he was certainly disappointed that i'd asked him to move out but he seemed more hurt than anything because he feels like i don't care about him as much anymore his view is that i value the baby more than him because i won't find a way to make things work so he can stay in our home he says that i'm a bad mother for abandoning him and treating him like garbage to be thrown out he's normally not like this and level-headed so his reaction has me wondering if i'm acting like an [ __ ] by asking him to move out my brother also has called me up to tell me i'm an [ __ ] and that i'm turning out to be as bad as our mother so their reactions have me here asking if i'm the [ __ ] for asking my son to move out so i can turn his room into a nursery nta no offense up but it sounds like your son is a bit coddled he feels like i don't care about him as much anymore his view is that i value the baby more than him because i won't find a way to make things work so he can stay in our home he's saying that he needs more attention from you than a baby he's 24. he should understand that you'll need to dedicate time to this new child and it's a bit immature that he's trying to compare himself to a newborn or throw this at you as a way to hurt you he says that i'm a bad mother for abandoning him and treating him like garbage to be thrown out abandoning him you're literally offering to buy him furniture cover his moving expenses and you're giving him six months to find a new place he needs to chill do you think maybe he's always been so level-headed because you've given him everything he wants time to kick this bird out of the nest nta come on he's 24 and can afford it at some point you can't stay at your parents house forever it would be something else if he was in a rough patch money wise or if he was 18 but you yourself say that he's got a decent job that you'd pay for the move and pay for his first month something most people don't have when they move out for the first time seriously op is doing the absolute most for this kid way more than a lot of parents would at my house 18 and done with high school means you're out the door figure it out my mom doesn't even let me stay in my old room if i come home to visit i sleep in the basement so i don't get too comfortable all i understand that's a little extreme but op is setting this kid up for complete success in a moving process and at 24 he should be saying thank you for letting him stay as long as they have not griping about getting kicked out you clearly shouldn't be a parent if you think that at 18 they should move out force a child into existence and then expect then expect them to have it all figured out at 18 especially in this day and age nap even though he's 24 he is still feeling supplanted by the new baby however he's old enough to live on his own is there a way to compromise can you finish the basement so he has a comfortable place and could stay in the house he might bond with the new little one if you can afford to help him out with moving and rent maybe he and you could contribute to finishing the basement it would also add value to the house i would be open to finishing the basement and turning it into living space info when you were speaking to him did you ask him to move into an unfinished basement without suggesting it would be finished if not i understand how your son would feel replaced i didn't mention finishing it at the time it wasn't something i was considering nta his viewers that i value the baby more than him because i won't find a way to make things work so he can stay in our home this is an incredibly petulant thing for a 24 year old man whose parents are housing him for free to say my brother also has called me up to tell me i'm an [ __ ] and that i'm turning out to be as bad as our mother this is unconscionable your brother should be ashamed of himself he should also house your son if he thinks it necessary that someone take care of this man who is fully employed and well into adulthood if you've heard it all it's in prolonging your son's childhood by providing so many things to him that he can provide for himself seriously the guy is allowed to be disappointed but carrying on like this i thought he was maybe 18 and it turns out he's 24. there's nothing wrong with living with your parents as an adult but act like an adult not a child op isn't kicking him out no reason at all or something [Music] am i the antagonist for not wanting a day party after being refused a present i wanted i 17f will be turning 18 in a couple of days and naturally my mom asked me to pick a present i want my mother is not by any means a greedy or inconsiderate person she raised me and my brother alone ever since i was old enough to remember and she's been trying her hardest to care for us which is why i respect and love her the most i asked for the same thing a 120 colored pencils faber castle outset four years ago as well taking into account my lack of experience back then i dodged a bullet by not buying that as they are mostly used by professionals and me being a self-thought artist would have probably wasted them but i have improved these past few years and i wanted to experiment with better art supplies mind you i have mentioned the cost issue of the present i wanted initially but she specifically told me not to pay attention to the price and just ask so the money isn't the issue now i feel like i'm being punished for following her instructions i know i should be grateful because a lot of deaf of her children would be lucky to even get a happy birthday and i am i try to mind my privilege as much as i can and keep in mind any present is good but my mother has the bad habit of completely ignoring my tastes i've never been a jelly girl i just don't like clothes and jewelry they feel superficial which i dislike my frustration lays mostly in the fact that this year she told me to get what i wanted since it's supposed to be a special day and i've wanted these crayons for four whole years so i tried my luck barely takes a second for her to say they are just crayons you can get better pencils at any store for way cheaper they are not even that good which if you are a part of the art community you know that's complete bs my grandparents of course back her up and say they are way too expensive for me to get coming from the same people who wanted to get me a car before i even got my license or held a steering wheel in my life that's not really saying much i'm just mad because why would you insist for someone to tell you what present they want just to criticize it i got angry and told her that if she doesn't want to get me what i asked for she can just not get me any presents at all since i may not be petty enough to pound them but i'd be [ __ ] enough to ignore them with this pandemic going on i do have the choice of holding a party with an invite limit but i just don't want to anymore i know they won't listen to me and just hold one anyway but i'm seriously thinking of just not attending i know it would just create more drama and i'm probably just upset but hey is this just me being a spoiled brat sorry this is kind of long and if you read all of it thanks have a good one nta i think your issue isn't with the present purse but with the way your interests are dismissed your mom and grandparents aren't accepting your true self and that always hurts on top of that they ignore your expertise and tell you what you should want according to them why did she bother asking them i think it's totally fair that you are upset but not going to the birthday party isn't going to help it'll make you look like a spoiled brat that only cares about her pencils while it's much deeper than that i'd try talking to your mom about how this hurt your feelings instead tai i'll definitely try that actually drop that mince it off back quote i know that somebody is having it worse and i know i should suck it up and be grateful for what i've got there will always be somebody who has it worse just as there will be somebody who has it better you are entitled to your feelings and entitled to your wishes you're not responsible for somebody having it worse with that being said not the a-hole oh and i totally get your wish i spent a whoo-hoo chunk of my first salary on thank you gratitude is not meant to be a bludgeon for you to beat yourself down with or for anybody else to beat you down with either for that matter being grateful for what you have means letting yourself be happy about what is present in your life it does not mean never asking for anything else being grateful about what you have is actually not contradictory at all with wanting other things far too many people misunderstand the principle of gratitude and turn it into some kind of guilt thing it's really really not supposed to be a guilt thing it's supposed to be about wonder and love and appreciation it's supposed to be about thinking well regardless of whatever else is going on there's actually a bunch of water in that half full glass and that's pretty neat apostrophe nta it sounds like the issue is less the gift and more your family not really caring about who you are as an individual i think there's probably a communication issue here and probably some anxiety from family members who want you to be a certain way because they love you and feel like if you're not like them you won't love them anymore i would also ask your mother what she was hoping you'd ask for and basically try to stay calm and talk to her like an adult and sort of reassure her you value her for who she is and aren't dismissing her then she'll likely be more receptive tai in all fairness it wasn't really a conversation when the topic was brought up she mostly just said no and i kind of stayed silent until i couldn't because she really hurt my feelings by insinuating my art isn't good enough to work on she always really loved my passion so to hear that from her was a major blow i think she probably not being an artist doesn't understand your aspirations and goals i think if you lay out how you feel to her in an unaccusatory way it might help you develop a closer bond nta but i would consider attending prismacolor pencils are very nice and they come in small assets but i understand you have your heart set on this specific set hey thanks for your comment since i live in europe romania to be exact prismacolor from the research i've made unfortunately doesn't ship over here hello fellow romanian poti saga cesti prismacolope etsy dakanu poti saka manziti pay amazon dsa you amazon uk hope this helps am i the antagonist for telling my sister that she shouldn't have married a religious man if she was so anti-religion my 22f sister emilia 34f is married to a hindu indian guy let's call him em my sister has always been an atheist while male is quite religious he goes to temples celebrates all the religious festivals is well versed in the religious texts etc emilia and male have been together since their college days and emilia knew he was religious i even remember asking her if this religious atheist thing would be a problem when they were in the initial stages of dating back then she was pretty confident it won't now is a different story they have a three-year-old son and their parenting style seems to be clashing as a result emilia is always venting or bitching to me about her husband and how has religious and how hell somehow brainwashed their kid into following hinduism my inbox is full of hate messages from emilia i was tired of those messages because i didn't want to be dragged into someone's personal lives today when she was going off about how there are so many festivals in hinduism and she's annoyed by that i lost it i messaged her saying that she shouldn't have gotten married to a person who she knew was religious if she was so anti-religion i also told her they should talked about all these parenting technicalities before getting married and having a child she blocked me somehow managed to get our parents on her side mom's been texting me saying that i was being harsh and amelia just needed someone to vent out her frustrations to am i the antagonist nta i agree that this is something basic and fundamental that needs to be sorted out before marriage especially before kids i also have a personal policy that while i don't hide bad things from my family i don't vent at length about negative things in my relationships that's a great way to end up with your family disliking your partner even once things are sorted out it sounds like you'd rationally write this up to her she blew it off she now she's venting to you about a problem you'd warned her about i'd allow a bit of venting but a constant barrage of it is just not helpful it sounds like she doesn't want help or advice she just wants someone to agree with her while she [ __ ] about a problem that needs to be handled within the relationship nta my wife is religious but respects my option that the kid should find faith if that's what they want on their own it baffles me that your sister and her husband hadn't worked this out long before they decided to get married i would get sick of hearing her answer about it all the time too you're in the right on this one this carrot there is a reason i married someone who wasn't religious and didn't want kids because we talked about the important things a long time ago some people skip the awkward conversation because they're in love and hope it will just work out yes this can be a deal breaker you can love someone respect them enjoy their company etc but if you have different world views you have to at least acknowledge them and you have to consider what will happen once kids are in the mix i have not seen many happy mixed religion marriages and of the ones i know that are happy they all discussed what they would do long before getting married shout out to those mixed religion families that had a knuckle and christmas wait to play both sides i hope you're referencing the awk and chris mack up if not i'll be bitterly disappointed honestly not the a-hole you don't have to be your sister's bitching board if you don't want to be particularly for issues you highlighted in advance her problems with her husband's religion seem to stem from an ignorance of what being married to a devout hindu might entail you're right the conversations about parenting are exactly the type of conversation that should be and well in advance of having children as for the parents you don't know what your sister has said to them so it would be a good idea to talk to them directly perhaps show them your inbox if they don't believe you not even a devoting do i'm hindu and i'm not overly religious but the way we have grown up the festivals and its rituals have been deeply ingrained in us even thought i don't follow all the rules the festivals are important to me as it's also something i look forward to it's like christmas it's a good time to have fun with your family and friends so i understand why the husband wants to teach the child about the festivals i'm a christian but my family is culturally hindu and i still love the festivals i'll take any excuse to eat good food and wear fancy clothes it's never really been a point of contention in my family since my parents one christian one hindu just kinda approached it as whatever the kids decide on is fine worked out fairly well for the most part you know this makes me think of my last trip to the indian grocery store they sell religious items near the register and they had a picture of jesus in between ganesh and krishna i think i'm a pasty white atheist but i'm fairly certain the flute indicated it was krishna close bracket in my opinion you're not the a-hole because she knew he was religious but still went with it she should have thought about those things before with him or having a child depending on how you said it you might be rude but they need a divorce if she can't get over being and it religious am i the antagonist for accusing my sister-in-law of trying to get rid of my parrot okay title sounds weird as heck i know but please hear me out my 16 male sister-in-law emily26f and my older brother john meters and my parrot mccaw blue lemayo why am i changing his name so some context about the cause they are the talking kind of birds and they have the potential to be really loud blue is honestly pretty quiet for his kind though and he's incredibly friendly although mornings he is very loud my family is used to this and doesn't mind but clearly emily does which i understand because she's not used to it but here's the thing she doesn't live with us they either visit or sometimes john and her stay the night because they do live sort of far in the morning when blue wakes up he wakes all of us up we are mourning people so it's fine but emily is always in a bad mood when she is woken up by blue i remember on multiple occasions her asking my parents why i couldn't just get a cat or dog she says it in a joking way but i see the passive aggressiveness of what she means today emily and john came over after a few minutes of just us saying hello and small talk and stuff john asked me to go to my room with him and he needed to talk to me i was kinda worried since it just sounded weird and ominous when we got to my room he closed the door and told me we needed to talk about blue he asked me what i was going to do with him since i was going to college i was confused because i already told my family that i was going to a nearby college that i could quickly drive to and still live at home he then tried to argue that college is hard and that i wouldn't have time for blue i don't think that will be the case though i've taken care of him since i was like eight and never had problems but then here's what got me he said emily found a family that could take him in i was immediately pissed and yelled at him that emily was trying to get rid of him and he got equally pissed and said that wasn't true i started to cry angry tears and he tried to hug me but i kicked him out of my room i was honestly so angry he could say something like that i've calmed down a bit and now i can sort of see where he's coming from now i think i'm tar because i may have overreacted but based on my interactions with emily i also don't think i did i'm honestly really confused should i apologize to them am i the antagonist what in the actual [ __ ] emily is wildly out of line trying to rehome your pet if what you've written is truly the whole story then not the a-hole i give you my word i'm being honest and i gave the full context hold on to you parrot they will get rid of him thiel say it's an accident but for dear god hold on to your parrot tell people tg why we'll do this without tur consent that's what i'm worried about talk to your parents as soon as possible and explain everything that happened don't try and keep this to yourself they are trying to get you to ditch a family member be here's the thing they are not going to let this go they will find a way to get rid of your bird most likely sooner but they may play the long game and wait till you started college i feel like within days of starting college you will come home and the bird is gone sit down with your parents this week and explain the conversation you had with your brother and any other supporting incidents where emily said the bird is a problem should go let them know this is concerning and would like to make clear your wish is that blue goes nowhere and your plan for blues once you start college i would also make clear that when you are in college or not home that your parents do not allow emily near the bird alone one of the things i learned with communicating with my parents that to also let them know your feelings i'm afraid that something will happens to blue or i'm concerned that there is a misunderstanding because of brother statement and would like to get this cleared up then have your parents speak with bro and emily you are a minor child they went around your parents back blue is also their responsibility and not only love put in but financially as well please be as clear as possible with your parents blue is a member of your family and after they speak with bro follow up with him and tell him your thoughts i'm not sure what you're feeling but if it was me i would tell him i'm sad and disappointed you would do this and that your intentions hurt me and our relationship and that it's hard to trust you after this also super important get blue chipped by your vet that way say he accidentally escapes from the house somehow open window took an uber sold on craigslist when he's taken to a vet the chip with scan to show his return address and that he is missing create a set of photos with his picture including unique marks and characteristics that way if blue goes missing you can call all vets animal control centers and adoption centers and let them know that blue is missing and can email them pictures and the id number blue was chipped with thank you so much for your advice you're right i need to talk to my parents i'm just worried they won't listen to me though because my brother is older and stuff but it's i was very disappointed in him i love him and thought he was better than this i'll do anything i can do keep blue safe getting him chipped if he is not already will be very helpful here when your parents forget about this in a few months or years they and even you will have your guard down and then that when blue could go missing if emily still is obsessing with the bird nta it might be useful to mention just in case that because of the monetary value of a larger parrot any legal trouble resulting from shenanigans will be expensive a felony or an expensive felony okay thanks for that info

Channel: Reddit Hunt

Views: 15,388

Rating: 4.916883 out of 5

Keywords: aita, askreddit, reddit aita, reddit open marriage, reddit, cheating reddit, reddit cheating wife, reddit cheating, aita update, reddit relationships, reddit update, reddit stories, reddit funny, reddit breakup stories, reddit confession, relationship STORIES, reddit family relationships, reddit relationship advice, relationship drama, break ups, reddit cheating girlfriend, reddit revenge, reddit creepy, reddit school, reddit relationship stories, tifu, reddit hunt

Id: 7xjJjo5ZZpQ

Length: 25min 45sec (1545 seconds)

Published: Sat Nov 14 2020