AITA For Taking My Parent's Side When My Brother Came Out? [Reddit Relationships Advice]

hey guys check out our new channel for more edit relationship stories relationship hunt link in description enjoy the video my 25 f husband 45 meters told me a week ago that he cheated right after we got married and is upset i won't forgive him we dated for three years and have been married for four years he told me that about six months after we were married he was on a business trip he and a woman on that trip got too drunk and they slept together he said it was the only time i was pregnant with our first when he was on that trip he said he was upset that we weren't having sex as regularly as we had before that was his excuse after he told me i just went silent the kids were in bed and i just went to our room and closed the door we haven't slept in the same bed since then he's now telling me that since it was just one night long ago i have to forgive him i don't even know why he told me i had no suspicions why would he what was to gain i don't feel like i owe him forgiveness he's suggesting we go to our preacher for counseling either i'm just stunned that my world has been turned upside down in the matter of a week your husband is a creep number 37 year old needs to be anywhere near a 17 year old he's also lying if you think he only cheated once i've got a bridge in brooklyn to sell you some oceanfront property in arizona i see george straight lyrics i upvote king george as a texan i'm contractual obligated to upvote [Music] he thinks he is owed forgiveness when he couldn't grasp the concept that his pregnant wife didn't feel up to [ __ ] him as often as he wanted he's a selfish man child he is owed nothing from you you should ask him why the hell he decided to tell you this and ask him what else he has kept secret it seems unlikely he suddenly decided to just come clean about this one thing totally randomly is he testing the waters to see how you respond to this before springing other stuff on you was he so guilt-ridden he had to unburden himself but at the same time so sure he was justified in what he did that he was sure you'd forgive him it makes no sense also a word of caution depending on your church and your preacher the preacher may very well take his side and try to shame you for not fulfilling your wifely duties and try to force you to forgive him this happened to a friend of mine she left her husband anyway because the preacher was obviously batshit crazy but these preachers exist don't let anyone convince you this was anything other than your husband being an entitled spoiled [ __ ] men who cheat while their wives are pregnant are just the worst i agree totally he's got some kind of motivation to tell her this now and it won't be good poor up is probably going to be drip fed nasty truth a bit at a time poor girl op you are young just walk away now and start over if you do decide to go to counseling don't do it with your preacher get a therapist preachers are typically focused on saving the marriage whereas a therapist will help you figure out if your marriage is worth saving also go alone to therapy first to sort out how you feel my guess is he will dominate the counseling so watch out for that he is making this about you and not his cheating which is really the issue yeah definition don't do couples counselling it tends to escalate abuse 25 years old girl married for four years and dating for three dude age 45 and an abusive [ __ ] so predictable did he wait until your 18th birthday or not even i did that math quickly too what kind of 38 year old is hanging out with high school girls i'm 39 and the only people i know around the age of 18 are my daughter's friends and they are basically children i didn't even think about that at all jesus this makes it so much worse at 40 to the youngest people i hang out with is probably 36. what the hell does any 40 plus man have in common with a high school student gross i'm 41 and when i meet anyone under 25 i think that i could have a kid that age grows to date someone that much younger than you the half your age plus seven is a good rule [Music] am i the antagonist for calling out two ladies for being creepy at the grocery store i was in line at the grocery store picking up a turkey and fixings the lines were long due to thanksgiving and not to mention everyone trying to hoard toilet paper line was about four transactions deep when this incident happened with me being the 40-h person in line anyways in line in front of me were two thirty-something ladies then two other random people in spot two and one and of course the cashier the two ladies in front of me were whispering to each other quite loudly about the young male cashier's good looks nothing crude but loud enough for me and at least the 20 person in line to hear as the line moved forward the cashier had to stand up on a stool to grab some cigarettes from the top of the cigarette case as he was reaching for the sigs the two ladies quickly pulled our biophones and snapped a picture of his butt they pretty much high-fived each while each saying loudly did you get that i got that damn right i did send me yours and i'll send you mine with a normal voice i said do you think that it's okay to do that they whipped around with shock and both had a who the [ __ ] are you look on their face then one said excuse me i said i watched as you both took pictures of that young man kinda creepy they said so what and moved up to check out of course the cashier has heard all commotion and has no idea what to do or say so he just sheepishly starts scanning the lady's groceries i mentioned again that what they did was wrong and i'm certain that if the roles were reversed and the cashier was a young girl and then two men snapped pics and you'll just happen to be me in my vantage spot you two would be calling 911 and screaming bloody murder am i right or am i right about now other people in line and around the checkout line are already listening in and seemed to be in agreement with me then then the ladies flipped it on me what are you doing watching us who does that omg and started acting like a victim they paid and ran out while loudly calling me creep as soon as they were gone all eyes moved to me and pretty much everyone forgot that they were the baddest and started looking at me like i just ripped a big old fart in the line how'd i become the [ __ ] am i the [ __ ] nta what you did was really amazing what the women did as creepy af exactly not the a-hole those girls are the creeps it is disgusting what they did but they got away with it because of their gender men literally get away with this exact same thing all the time it's not right no matter the genders of the people involved nta opus nta they were trying to save face and you are 100 in the right and most likely when the eyes in the room turned to him they probably were wondering different things such as what was going on may not have been paying attention in the first place should i do something does he have anything to add in this 24 over 7 nanosecond world i'm sure they have al forgotten by now definitely not the a-hole they were being creeps and tried to pull know you as a smoker screen while they made their escape you did the right thing thanks for speaking up you're not the [ __ ] they just deflected it from them on to you because they know they got caught nta that's so [ __ ] gross honestly the [ __ ] that service industry workers have to deal with is ridiculous they were just salty that they got called out on it and tried successfully to turn it around on you nta if this were men doing this to a woman the repercussions would be far worse the double standard is absolutely not okay unfortunately no legal repercussions though nta no one deserves to be sexually harassed at work you don't have the right to take a picture of someone and especially not there but without their consent you think somebody is hot cool jude waits till you're out of earshot and tell your friend so you don't embarrass them or anyone around you they were just pissed that you called them out on their unacceptable behavior and trying to deflect sexual harassment can happen to anybody and needs to be called out when seen you did the right thing nta i agree with you that poor cashier they were being really disrespectful good on you for calling them on it i'm guessing the people who were i knew after they left didn't see the initial photo taking incident and just heard two respectable looking women calling you a creep loudly some of them might have been looking blankly apparently at you while they were thinking whoa what the hell just happened but you did a good thing nta they were definitely the creeps in this situation [Music] definitely not the a-hole i think it just flipped because either no one else witnessed them do it or no one wanted to stick up for you and deal with the old women who think they're entitled lol nta what they did was wrong and you called them on it [Music] yeah that happened lol am i the antagonist for taking my parents side when my brother came out of the closet my family has always been liberal and have not been shy about other people knowing it like they would have the who they are voting for signs of the front porch everyone in the family is also fine with lgbt plus community and supports it so my 16 male brother 19 male came out as gay today to the whole family my parents smiled and said congratulations and we will always love you slash support him then the whole thing was dropped and we moved on with our day my brother has been angry that my parents didn't have a bigger reaction and has been giving them the cold shoulder he came into my room and was ranting to me about it he wanted me to go with him to confront my parents that's when i said dude they don't care about who you like to bang their response was fine isn't this the end goal for people to not care about people's sexual orientation and be treated the same you know they support this what kind of response did you want them jumping for joy tears being angry well he called me an [ __ ] and i wanted to know if i was not even families who are liberal toward lgbtq people as a concept can be surprisingly uncool when it's their family member coming out your brother probably spent a lot of time building that moment up in his mind and worrying about the outcome and he probably hoped for a reaction commensurate with how emotional it was for him that doesn't make him an [ __ ] but it doesn't make the rest of you [ __ ] either for just being accepting and moving on hoping for a different reaction doesn't indeed make him the [ __ ] getting angry ranting and then calling up an [ __ ] dust yep kid got mad at me for not acting any different when she came out to me why would i i love her as much before she told me her sexual orientation something that has zero effect on our relationship and it won't change sometimes a maturity player factor with teenagers i know shocking slashes did you try asking what she wanted slash how she wanted to be treated absolutely i want my kids always to feel welcomed in their home and their skin if in doing something that makes them feel less i want to know about it so i can stop i feel like i can relate i came out as be to my mom and i expected one of the two things either i hate you you're disgusting or i love you you're still my son and the hugs and stuff what happened was yeah i'm fine with it i was kinda happy that my mom's okay with it but also kinda disappointed there wasn't a bigger reaction maybe the pop culture media has made coming out into a very dramatic event i can see your brother's puff but he's just being petty now your parents support him what else does he want now edit i gave the wrong judgment it was a typo edit too thanks for all the awards and these many upvotes these are my first awards ever i think it's that it is a huge revelation to you this is you realizing who you are defining something new and important about yourself and you're excited and a little confused and a bit scared and it's highly emotional because it's your life but since everyone else is living outside of you it's just congrats on that because they didn't have to do the emotional and mental labor to come to any conclusions except that you are who you are yesterday and who you will be tomorrow to them you are the same but to you you are different and new and you want them to see that and with some parents they are perceptive enough to realize their kid is gay before the kid realizes it so it's not a revelation at all anecdote time when i first met my now 25 plus years best friend and her then four-year-old son we were chatting about our respective kids at one point she whispered to me he's gay and pretty much giggled just in a year whatever we get it kind of way our kids have remained the very very best friends for all these years as well we are all family really and she was right he's gay and wonderful just as he is no big gender preference reveal thing he figured it out long long after the rest of us did but he got there in the end danx perceptive have to be able to pick that up from a four-year-old now it takes a lot of courage to share this information with family and be open about yourself but this may have been a moment your brother built up or idealized for some time now it takes a lot of courage to share this information with family and be open about yourself but this may have been a moment your brother built up or idealized for some time now the brother is allowed his emotions and being upset about it i disagree with him lashing out at his brother and demanding op confront their parents for him that goes beyond appropriate reactions and being upset for refusing to take my dad and stepmom in title sounds horrible but hear me out email 32 had a bad relationship with my family my dad showed an unbelievable amount of favoritism and treated my half brother differently i was always told to do things for him sacrifice my time slash future plan slash my health just so he could be happy in other words my half brother has and will always be the golden child i donated my kidney to my health brother when my dad and stepmom were freaking out and worrying sick about him for being on dialysis for a short period of time i was expected to step in and help because family and i had to do it my dad decided i was no good for my brother's health and kicked me out of the house so they could focus on my half brother i lived with a friend of mine for a while i worked several jobs but i didn't get the chance to attend college because i was busy helping my brother my half brother moved out of the house and got his own place while he went to college i hear about my family via friends neighbors who are still in touch with me i rent alone now and i'm currently dealing with a number of medical conditions including anemia this has been affecting my work and i'm doing all i can to keep things balanced anyways my dad reached out to me last week wanting to meet with me for a talk i agreed and i have no idea why i just wanted to hear what he had to say since he sent people to get me to set up a meeting so we could talk he told me that he can no longer make his mortgage payments due to his inability to work and spending money on medication for his condition as well as some debts he said that his son's fiance refused to take him and my stepmom and asked if i was willing to let them stay with me till they figure something out i was taken aback and i didn't know what to respond all of a sudden i remembered why i'm in this situation struggling both physically and emotionally working more than i can handle paying for everything on my own dealing with stress and anger because of how i was treated by my own family i told him i couldn't take them i refused to discuss this any further when he started talking about what my mom world wanted and how i should help like i'm expected to just because their golden child wasn't being supportive so it's now my problem and i needed to fix it i haven't spoken to him since now he's at it again and wanting me to help out since i already have my own place even said that i was trying to get back at him because he had me help my brother when he was sick in the past and claimed that any other brother wolf done the same the thing that really got me was when my dad cried he rarely ever cried before and he's the type that acts tough and refuses to ask for help but he kept talking about the hurt my half-brother caused him and he clearly didn't expect this treatment from him after everything that he's done for him nta you already gave a kidney up for a family that treats you poorly please don't give them any more not to mention he trying to emotionally manipulate him using his mother crying saying her brother won't do it so you have to and you have always done thing for me without me giving back to you so why would i expect to stop nta dad's not crying because of opus he's crying because opp's half-brother refused him the half-brother received an abundance of paternal love and attention and doesn't want anything to do with the father that speaks volumes and the father knows it and still his response is woe is me instead of i apologize op is a gem and not the a-hole it's the brother's fiance that said no small but important distinction since we don't actually know if the brother wanted to roll over for daddy and was stopped by an intelligent partner or if he actually hates his father and the fiance was just the one who took the brunt of the anger when relaying the story to op great point nta he kicked you out he is no longer able to ask you to be a bailout card if anything your half brother should be the one stuck with his father's complaining they leeched enough from you yup and to add insult to injury they kicked him out after he donated his kidney slap away a helping hand don't be surprised when the helping hand vanishes for good this is honestly inconceivable to me what kind of parent person does that i guess one kidney wasn't enough now they want to cannibalize what's left of the kid what the actual [ __ ] nta your dad turned his back on you when he got his new family he made a choice he is not immune from the consequences of his past decisions your half-brother has the duty to help them out because you know family yes if he wanted to play the family card he should have treated you like family instead of as an organ farm he's reaping what he sowed with one entitled compassion-less child and one alienated one nta shakespeare's king lear was right when he said how sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child dad has to live with how ungrateful his golden child son is [Music] nta you gave him a kidney and they kicked you out don't waste another word on these [ __ ] yep the father bet on the wrong son he can fend for himself nta don't be taken in by him crying and talking about how hurt he is he kicked you out after you donated a kidney to your brother i bet you cried when that happened did it make a difference no it didn't i should imagine that his actions hurt you badly his actions changed how your life turned out if you want to take them both in that's fine but don't do so out of a sense of obligation or because of guilt trip because they didn't give you the courtesy of either the dad was only crying about how hurt he was by the half-brother's actions he is not even crying for his poor treatment of opus the dad is a terrible person nta right it's still not a sincere apology it's i'm being treated the way i treated you and so once again i'm going to expect you to fix it there's no real understanding or regret aside from the fact that his bet on his golden child didn't pan out my guess is that if good old dad wasn't having financial problems op would have never ever heard from him in other words op your dad is still seeing you only as something to use or a resource to tap not as a true family member or someone worthy of love and respect regardless of what you can give to him it's still all about using you nta

Channel: Reddit Hunt

Views: 8,084

Rating: 4.8565021 out of 5

Keywords: aita, askreddit, reddit aita, reddit open marriage, reddit, cheating reddit, reddit cheating wife, reddit cheating, aita update, reddit relationships, reddit update, reddit stories, reddit funny, reddit breakup stories, reddit confession, relationship STORIES, reddit family relationships, reddit relationship advice, relationship drama, break ups, reddit cheating girlfriend, reddit revenge, reddit creepy, reddit school, reddit relationship stories, tifu, reddit hunt

Id: MR6VNXg-I6g

Length: 22min 37sec (1357 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 23 2020