A Wrinkle in Time - Nostalgia Critic

[Music] [Music] hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic guy remember it so you don't have to there's just something about nostalgic fantasy books whether they make good film adaptations or whatever Eragon was there's always a part of us that has to see what the cinematic version of the most imaginative tales look like and clearly the best director for a trippy sci-fi Mindwarp about children traveling to different worlds would be one who specialized in films about prejudice and race relations well that turned out exactly what we got [Music] being immediately an already difficult book to adapt with one time tries to be that artsy kids film and to open up your mind but instead turns out to be that artsy kid that tries to open up her mind with his ultimate interpretation of Donnie Darko yeah you all know that [ __ ] they made a movie like him based on the only kids fantasy books you remember being more jesusí than narnia the adaptations for this novel have often been underwhelming and this version is not underwhelming but how do I put it remember that very pompous ending to American Beauty where they say you don't understand our film but don't worry you will imagine that for two hours but is there anything about it that worked I mean without the use of a slowly becoming legal substance well let's take a look in more detail this is the unsurprisingly bizarre but surprising in the way it's bizarre wrinkle in time the film opens with Chris Pine and Mel Gibson's beard showing his daughter Meg the ABCs of pretentious speeches is always there even if you don't feel it I want you to remember that when you read the reviews for this movie this is are enough gee I wonder if that speech about love means he's gonna disappear I'm gone dad later tomorrow marks the four year anniversary of the disappearance of massive scientist dr. Alex Murray there are still no leads in the case but perhaps the biggest mystery why can two kids who can have screens in front of them literally through breathing listening to radio as a pop song indicates mega sad and often me followed by mean kids who say such terrible things as Jaime you get it you can call me every variation of the c-word you like but say hi to me you better expect this and return it hi Megan oh hi Marc trust me you'll be seeing few high marks in this [Music] yeah we made that on our way to make father Terabithia kid for losing his best friend our gang is called the plot devices anyway what do you make him fun at her for it this is the kid asking for it and she never mixes my medications at all also unconfused who's he talking about being awkward and funny-looking the way meg is supposed to be awkward and funny-looking oh god yeah by Disney standards what a dog that she is only on the cover for magazines instead of five when will everybody learn that beautiful people are beautiful people she gets sent to the principal for introducing the bully to basketball because that's a problem the principal would deal with and he tries to give some advice you can't keep using your father's disappearance as an excuse to act out odds are he's not coming back oh this is why I got the most emotionally crippling principal of the Year award don't worry things will make more sense when you get hung up boy your house is so warm you've done a wonderful job keeping the darkness out call me mrs. whatsit I will call you anything you like as long as you don't touch my bathing suit area don't worry my friend I caught her stealing sheets guys she's harmless anybody who breaks into a house and touches kids like that isn't that harmless she is on a list have I ever been wrong he might be Charles Wallace oh I highly doubt that he's one of the greatest minds in recent history his personality is on par with man dark but still smart cookie I do hope you leave on a line more up your ass than your toilet paper coat I'm really confident in my weirdness which means either escape from a place with bars on the window I'm really cool I'm not really cool I random boy from school want to be a character Oh tell us whether you're talking aren't you what are you doing here I don't know I'm introduced 15 minutes in I had no lines and I had nothing to the story but I do give this punchable look of whimsy every five minutes so what do you say Calvin you want to come with us why not so ever wonder if that crazy cat lady down the street was as insane as you thought she was love without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit Gibran Lebanese this is mrs. who played by Mandi coming Charles seems to have met her before and explains how she only speaks in obnoxious quotes he's just a ball the past language so when she needs to think she keeps and uses other people's words oh that's evolving past language huh because it kind of sounds like you're just not smart enough to come up with your own words so your use of famous quotes calendar to give the impression you're above everyone else the wound is the place where the light enters you Rumi person hey how about this quote you do not need to quote great men to show you all one I realized the irony I'm using a quote to get that across but I don't think she's smart enough to realize that soon we tired her out she was really tired it's tough being that pretentious 24/7 they go back home where Calvin gives more inspiring faces is that his role as they discuss how her death suggested that space travel can be done through the right frequency from your mind rather than enduring the oppressive rules of time and space we could wrinkle it we don't need rockets we don't need spaceships all you need is to tap into the right frequency you just need your mind you have to be really long-winded and act like your superior above everyone else speaking of which where's Oprah [Music] finally a size and image that encompasses all of Oprah's ego why be president when I can be God your father has done an extraordinary thing no human has ever traveled so far out in the universe I was thinking about putting him on the cover of my magazine just giving you'll be me again we heard a call out in the universe a human call they say the call must have come from her father so they're there to help find it we must find him as soon as we can are you up for it depends will I also look like Tina Turner exploding it to Lady gaga just have to find the right frequency and have faith in who you are okay that last part is [ __ ] but Disney really likes to throw that in very much so tester you're scary enough far away I don't need to see you up close the foot feels the foot when it feels the ground Buddha Nepali shut up or I'll stab you in the face with a soldering iron walk it Joe Dirt they journey to one of your desktop backgrounds as they get busy trying to find her dad or they look around [Music] the online tea Oprah smiles at your enchanting waste of time oh don't think he pass up a whimsical face you should talk to them everyone knows that flowers are the best cost birds in the entire universe I think even hippies would watch this saying get a job can you help us find him hey that's funny I speak finger they say her father is just north of avatar Park so what's it suggest they travel on her once she changes into sexy vegetable gremlin Tucker American it shouldn't die everybody everywhere so they ride the Cabbage Patch stingray and are so blown away at Oprah's magnificent Oprah Nastase imp Lee have to touch her that sounds like a joke but it is all too laughably real [Music] oh my soul is filled with the need to hand out cars to mask my insecurities perfection lives in the cheeks of paradise this is where we grow the Jolly Green Giant testicles what do you think he got that voice from singing lessons but uh-oh they lose one of their flops oh no I'm gonna die flowers catching though and they show them the evil that distracted their flight it's called Camazotz known simply as the it I know I could come up with a better jump I love any excuse to play that cliff what do we do love looks not with the eyes but with the mind Shakespeare British the ability to speak doesn't make you intelligent the only good quote from Phantom Menace they traveled to Mordor Stonehenge where they come across the happy medium which sounds like a New Age kid show on Bravo well you obviously don't understand the importance of ballots well not as much as you use that stuff double we are looking for men who's lost in the universe well this one popped up right away but give me some more information they say they all have to think of makes father in order to locate him but she can because she doesn't see how that'll help well they don't understand how thinking about him is going to help us find him now flying vegetable ladies and ten story talk-show host that I can believe but they give my father I just don't follow they explained that they need her father to fight the it from corrupting mankind and that gives her the courage to find him with just the happy medium wait what happened to needing everybody they see the father figure now teleporting but got captured by the it so they decide to go back to earth to figure out a plan makes will to find her father is too strong though and it redirects them to where the it is a place where the Three Stooges have no power so they have to leave you'll encounter things you think you know but you don't it's a place to be suspicious now this is especially disappointing because in the book apparently the revealed to be centaurs but my guess is heavenly Oprah would die before being seen as something such ungodlike but I of course would not want to rob you of such an image so here it is though present are we can barely tester ourselves we must continue on without us you must find your father times like this I really love my job [Applause] [Music] [Applause] so the ax tries to chase our heroes down but they escape via Kingdom of the Crystal Skull fridge and try to figure out what to do next how did you do that whole thing with the log just a physics thing that's a physics thing they find a neighbourhood but quickly put together it's a little too Pleasant village darling time for dinner are you lost children I bet you're hungry we're having fresh you tonight I have roasts and potatoes and cakes of all sorts packet e come on we've just been told we're in a place of pure evil what could go wrong next will be telling me that gingerbread house is evil thanks word I'd have all sorts the fairy cakes of all sorts guys swords the neighbourhood turns into a beach once again trying to trick them who are you guys the man seems to know who they are and possesses Charles to follow him thanks for everything you put him right to us I'm beginning to think case of all sorts are clones of limited options welcome to Central Central Intelligence please he is dangerous shut up yeah shut up Meg did I really just hear that they honestly just said shut up Meg shut up yeah shut up Meg okay thank you says only a merit I before Disney would do this joke better than Fox's shut up me yeah everybody lost that day so bad enough the stranger has turned into a puppet Club Med host and Calvinist duck in permanent mark wahlberg happening face what no but charles is amazingly misdirected acting now has an evil spin as his possession forces him to talk more like a James Bond villain that's so like you to try to come to the rescue isn't it Calvin always so helpful overly carry pathetic honestly I can't decide whether or not this makes things more awkward or if it just fits right at home with his performance watch this kid could give - a run for his money he's gone he's not gone I don't see you he suddenly turned from the most annoying part of the movie to suddenly the best clever perhaps if you push back my bedtime I won't have to push back you're dead time make uses the glasses though to find a secret entrance to where her father is look out a genuinely emotional scene [Music] even though this is a very touching and well acted moment I have to admit I do kind of what Porky Pig to jump out and say that's all folks for a number of reasons the movie would stop so the father is back but that doesn't subtle down Charles is acting at all I'm underwhelmed I can see the witnesses of any soul I take your soul so desperate I want to bundle you up in a toy and call you my little Hitler no cakes of all sorts is worth this Charles throws them in a dark realm where the it tries to tempt Meg to join him oh my god she's moderately better-looking honestly I kind of think she looks better how she is she of course resists and make tries to snap Charles back to his quote normal self don't make me somewhat impressively shake you in its mildly annoying it of course works in charles's back as the missus returned to give support some of our best warriors have come from Earth this is where we leave you to become warriors on earth hmm do you mean actual layers are getting offended to feel superior on social media she returns home in a beautiful yet weirdly long transition home and the family is once again whole now I might have messed up a few parallel dimensions it's a long story but I think I have tribal blood in me now huh I guess we're cool now for no reason let's go eat something cakes of all so what is your deal I couldn't have done it without you windowsill and that was a wrinkle in time all the right ingredients for the wrong meal with the wrong cook in a weird way I can see this being one of those trippy movies that kids look back on years later as a means of opening up creative ideas but unlike other films that did that like say labyrinth or Fantasia this isn't going to hold much value for adults visually it's nice and it's got some interesting concepts I'll even go out on a limb and say the performances from everybody are good if they were just in more fitting movies Charles is acting could be great in a kid's action film Calvin's acting could be great in a Spielberg style fantasy even the missis's could work and maybe a fairy tale type genre but with the exception of the main lead and her father who really do hit their marks perfect everybody seems like they're giving their all just in the wrong project because of that it's a little entertaining and just how misguided it is I don't know if that's the director or Disney or whatever but it's a fascinating lock up my guess is none of the people who worked on this or kind of have trouble finding work in the future it just has to be a project that matches their talents better as is though this is a craziest journey through what the hell's build that didn't make me think but it did make me smile five minutes tops a critic if you'll excuse me there's a certain season around the corner I need to get excited for that's right matt'll wait this first [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] haters of all sorts hey everybody Doug Walker here doing the charity shout out have you been watching the news you know that the California wildfires have been not only destroying so much property so much forest but they've also been destroying so many lives it's really really destroyed so much and that's why this week we are doing the California fire foundation this is a charity set up not only to help the families and the victims of this terrible fire but also help the firefighters and their families as well people putting their lives on the line so hard so much to stop this terrible terrible tragedy going on it's by the time this video is coming out I think it's still going on so please please definitely go show your support and just give whatever you can to this charity because it's just eating up so much and man they just they need help man they need our support and just give whatever you can definitely click on the link and see what you can do to help take care you

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 871,399

Rating: 4.8945432 out of 5

Keywords: channel awesome, doug walker, nostalgia critic, movie, film, a wrinkle in time, a wrinkle in time movie, a wrinkle in time 2018, a wrinkle in time review, movie review, film review, disney, disney movies, oprah winfrey, reese witherspoon, mindy kaling, michael pena, chris pine, book movies, sc-fi movies, bad movies, book adaptations

Id: ulOHMd20kb0

Length: 20min 53sec (1253 seconds)

Published: Wed Nov 21 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/Combsy13]

I get the feeling that Doug isn't much of an Oprah fan lol

[u/Kishiryu_Red]

Look at Doug face. DERP