Cricket & A Bat Wing | TigerBelly 156

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meals free at blue apron dot-com slash belly that's blue apron comm slash belly to get your first three meals free blue apron a better way to cook blue apron five four three two crazy rich agents coming to town for you Amy welcome to Gerber says welcome to the episode Tiger belly a che my name is Bobby would you do a bit the baby's the intro right now gonna start over let's go 5 4 3 5 4 3 2 ching ching ching in your eyes no good remix crazy rich Asians do it again five four three two call well gee [ __ ] it all man it's like you know I have to be listen I have to I support crazy riches you know Thomas Lennon was here last week and he says that a rising tide makes all the ships go high something like that yeah but when the ship is already sunk it doesn't go high and that's my ship why do you say your ship is something it's just I sunk it let's not get three years ago you know so a rising tide doesn't go high not all the ships go high yeah the most of holes some of them all if you're like in the bottom of right I just can't stand these Asian heads like Dad fan you know I mean the posting nine crazy and rich Asian like he's on he's a part of it oh yeah I mean other Asians always good for us you watch Bob I watch I'm working [ __ ] we enjoy Midtown why start about talking like that they all talk to me like that when that movie comes out you know man and I was at a table read today and it's a Warner Brothers movie yeah and so all the people from Warner Brothers are talking about and I just stood up I said nah no no no you guys don't even put me in it and then Saturday night I see Ken Jeong at the Laugh Factory we did a show together and um he's a friend I like him a lot he's talented guy but he's just like um aquafina really likes you like out of nowhere yeah and I would say hey cha cha she ate chicha I knew Aquafina way before you bro yeah yeah my foot my foot and my feet and my fingers on the pulse of America she was he was she was friends with her first wait how did you get cetera et cetera you too bro social media brother through social media she just randomly started following me I think through AUSA or dvd a si or something like that yeah and what did David chose how's you hear about that no what happened so David chill goes on if you guys don't know who David Cho is then go [ __ ] yourself because he's American sweetheart that's what I'm just calling merica sweetheart like Betty White yeah and he is apple pie and machetes yep yeah if you take apple pie machetes and some sort of dumpling oh come on come on do yeah my come on do as David Cho and Cho was like 'man um let me do a portrait of you at my house yeah oh right I picture that so do dog I was just like dude he's like a talented artist right yeah so I go I'm gonna zip on over to Koreatown and go to his house I go to his house and he paints the first painting he does is a painting of a banana this is the banana with slitty eyes you're sitting there yeah and I'm watching him doing aegyo dye me bro all right American Pie so then he goes this is not working I go sure ain't it he takes paint and he puts it all over my face into my ears you saw the photo it's on my Instagram he's doing this while you're just sitting sitting there you interviewed me for his own thing there's paint on my arms my head in my pits yeah in my bellybutton everywhere right and then he goes that's the piece like what dude I want a painting like a hanging in my house it'd be cool to say that's a David Choe that he'd painted of me but I'm never gonna get that from him I see one a banana what's fun today yeah still a David Choe piece still a David too I guess equally as special and then I did that and then on and then we we renamed our dogs we talked about already know welders we have to let everyone know that this was another foster fail but it wasn't my idea it's one a hundred your idea and your fault as soon as you said you were gonna I swear to god he called it yeah he did I swear to God we're gonna get rid of this one right and I'm like we'll see such a gas lighter who me yeah you altar like you alter reality and perception so much so so deeply saqqaq guys dr. strange if your that's what I have I'm a gaslighting dr. strange yeah because I don't know how you're flipping this story because I was right about to hand him in fact the last time that I took a fritter who's now Julio which was eggy at one point yeah it went from fritter to Iggy's Julio I took him to his last trial family and they kept him for four days Bobby had a meltdown and he said I cannot do this get the dog back no no that's not it no baby no what happened was it didn't work out and acts and we saw Julio again I said that's it that's six families we brought it to five whatever I was still willing I know but still what you but you have to know when it's not like the candy dip candy that you dip in the can't you know the dip them candies you know you can't give that stuff it's dogs are harder to give away as basically what I'm saying yeah I just said that candy is just easy to get you know I do you know like Halloween you know yeah people just take it that's what I meant to say I don't know where to dip in candy yeah right you should correct me when I'm talking you don't look you know what it is about it I say [ __ ] like that and you have a confused look on your face and then you don't say [ __ ] bro well yes men I don't want that anymore no no I really want confrontation yeah and I really want no that's wrong that's well that's not true this is one confrontation so cool let me tell you what happened yesterday I've always been yes sir yes sir yes sir whatever you want yeah finally I snapped yesterday in the morning in the morning what happened cuz he was talking about Christmas yeah yeah yeah yeah and I snapped and I was like why do you think playing 17-hour some video games is gonna get you on crazier occasions because and then my point was this was your response I said well I did call right when they were cast in that movie yeah I called we had discussions and the main thing was is that we don't want Koreans in it you know that that was the first no we want just Chinese yeah then I found out cam was in it yeah and then I was just like well he's in it and I get but it's Ken and then I'm like and then it just kind of disappeared right so she's trying to listen well we were talking about life and here's the thing though okay let me just say this location this is why I'm a yes I'm back to being a yes is that because you're wrong that's why she's wrong interacting that's where why you're at where you're at because of the video games but I think I'm thinking to myself okay I do stand-up every night yeah at all the clubs in LA I'm on a network TV show I have a great podcast Tiger Bradley you're listening to it right at one point is that being a loser no who said you were a loser the only person know you this is a problem with you you alternate between every five minutes is I'm doing so good and then the moment set someone says yeah you're doing good oh my god I should have been here I should be I could be doing more I could be doing this that's the human condition baby you know so what I'm assuming is but that's about being alive baby yes yeah it's about it's about wanting and not wanting it's about knowing and not knowing it's a buddy slept and awoke right because sometimes let me tell you my friends I am the slept King in general and normal normal right but sometimes I'm right and those are maybe the little pockets of space that because I'm around you 24/7 you're the old you're the motor out even growing up in my house I have looked at your face more than I looked at my parents face out of the 18 years I lived at home I mean I've never been so close to a face just physically do a face that big fat Filipino [ __ ] cheeky face right I've never seen a face more than hers like her I know her smells yeah her little tea bags he leaves in the toilet little bloody tea bags you know look down in it you know what I do now I don't flush it I pee on it - do I contest so I do a little contest to see how red the thing can become that's fine the blood clot I break up the blood collage and I observe and they flush you know you call those you know what you call those in in Philippine well in Bisaya well you guys would know I can't believe oh yeah because they're like little apples no I mean but you guys wouldn't know what what it's like to actually lose your endometrial lining and let me tell you sometimes it comes out in chunks and if you're saying you [ __ ] grow up it comes out in massive chunks yums so um you know who's guest starring this week I told you already we are you're not allowed to say anything you can no you're not absolutely not anything you can't say anything I can't say who's on this you've been in this industry long enough to know the rules well I didn't say no what sign no paperwork dawg no NDA here no D NDA no you're not a lot don't say it they do that though they did I you know when I was when I was in the dictator they had a sky in a suit show up at my house with a performance did you have to sign this Oh for that movie - not to talk about it I thought it was like Marvel movies no at that time that movie was supposed to be secretive or whatever yeah so I signed it all right well I'm just I'm not gonna tell you who it is cool though no so I wouldn't describe oh yeah so and you guys can play a little game with me yeah the audience can play let's play a game of life if you listen to Tiger well you know that in the last year I've been obsessed with the movie a couple the movies just name a couple so now I'm not gonna even name the movies all right but and one of the movies I've been obsessed at the star of the movie is guest starring on my show I can say that I didn't say anybody I didn't say anything so this person is on set but I don't have any scenes with her yet I have a scene with it a Thursday on him or him or her yet or just non-gender right very binary and then but I've been on set watching her him or him in him for him I'm not good answer I'm not that good at this the alien I'll just say it's an alien from he is not yeah he's not what do I say then you've been watching they on set yeah they on set yeah I can't get myself to meet this person did you introduce yourself - no but everyone's like she's he he's so nice they so nice they so know they so nice and I go I know but they don't know me yet yeah but they see the show already they know you're on the show so they know you I mean they they seen the show to do the show but they know they know Bobby leave I don't think they know Bobby Lee but so I've been watching day on set and I can't get myself cuz I'm gonna take a photo with a yeah and when I do I can't post it until they are on the show actually yeah but it's gonna be epic because I just love they I do and they so talented yeah and it's just it's because I was so obsessed with the movie they you know is they funny in movies or drama in movies they funny or both hmm they funny you know something happened today so you know Tiger belly fans you know public flippers sleepers you know puppet does his vest and puppet I'll be honest I think Papa don't know Papa don't know how to act really Papa he's being in stuff you know and I can do it it's like broad and it's funny but when it comes to like real acting Papa get scared so today I had to say this little chunk you know fast dialogue piece and I'm just all day you know just repeating it in my head over and over again and then I show up and the director goes oh you're writing a bike in the scene while you're saying so idle right there's a bike in a circle and see all this stuff oh it's it's like chewing gum and [ __ ] at this and what is at the term what is the term the day you to come and cook or walking that's it the easiest thing on earth walking it's something it's something like that doing two things that one wanna yeah yeah yeah that's what I meant to say yeah - in case a [ __ ] or chewing gum in [ __ ] yeah well can you pump and chew at the same time I don't know man rhythmic they mix it with anything while chewing I used to drink swim practice they used to have gum in my mouth okay Ben really yes could you um suck a dick and ride a bike yeah I could if it was propped up there yeah that'd be easy I could do that I could do that yeah I know you guys on the side are coming forward like this like what if they were like um three dicks right first of all wetson are you are you in a bike when there's three days it's uh Redux matrix the matrix five so wait then he tells you to ride the bike right maybe no riding the bike sucking dick how about sucking dick right yeah yeah we're back to the model oh sorry my bad what about eating [ __ ] and riding a bike no your eyes are closed most likely I love opening my eyes oh I guess you open your eyes it's weird I love watching you even blink I cry I like Ryan it's me no because I feel like I'm in a movie why are you crying though is I just pretending to move it cry in a crying scene Oh like a dramatic scene so I keep my eyes opened I'm crying I'm eating [ __ ] right I'm doing a little monologue on my head oh that's an interesting indie yeah check it out lovely lovely umm let's not talk about stuff like that yeah it's wait you were saying this oh you nailed it I don't know I didn't nail it I had to do it a fifty to fifty times oh well it is another thing though here the other thing is is that what's also I know people probably don't even like listening to me talking about it but I'm gonna do it anyway um it's not the fact that you're doing it it's a fact that people are standing it's the last scene and people are standing around going all right guy let's get it going so we can go home you feel the pressure of that but you know Oliver Hudson he's a good dude man I love that guy man and um yeah I'm not gay or nothing like that but anyway it's out well the way you said Oliver Hudson makes it sound you did something no I'm just saying that I ain't gay dog but dot dot dot don't know what you want infer not him specifically but you know there's a certain dog there are certain guys ten dots you know I mean they hey let's call thing again yeah you mean they which is like some Hollywood men in certain situations yeah you might do it life or death right or it's not even life and death it's like maybe station are you asking for a hall pass for a game to be gay you're allowed what I think you know we need to do is oh man lady we need to update the Pass let's cookies man and still suck dick sweetheart you guys updated your Hall Pass list no I have Tony Thornburg feel like your Hall Pass was a mail - no but you know what it's let me say something yeah I keep watching there's this movie on HBO called the case against eight mm-hmm there's a great dog it's a great documentary it's about how they fought - to appeal Proposition 8 you know how you gates could get married in California and then all of a sudden there was a vote and they did prop 8 and people voted on it and then they took away the rides and then George Bush's lawyer and Al Gore's lawyer they got together and they fought it and they repealed it it's a really good documentary I love like or you know other documentaries about when people fought to get HIV medication that's what documentary is that they survive a plague right there are other ones that's document yeah there's I love the documentaries you know and there's something about and I'm we being real there's something but their fight that I am kind of obsessed with let you identify well because they didn't necessarily the especially in how to survive a plague that documentary the government was not their ally they were not being helped in fact the government was actively working against a lot of these people who had AIDS yeah so when you have that kind of uprising and you overturn something that big as big as the government and you're able to get the medicine that you need in a faster time that the government would allow that is such like an a very that's like that's a huge victory and it's really really inspiring to watch something like I just like yeah I like just oppressed groups fighting right and then coming out of the you know some hope baby underdog story yeah I love I hope a baby another thing that she showed me last night which is the most grimace [ __ ] she this is what this lady does my girlfriend she'll watch something on Facebook or see some you know I mean black guy getting a pimple popped on his back right and she'll be like check it yeah check it out I don't like watching stuff that's your wax being pulled out and know from someone's no I don't like Nats fly box lies being like pulled out of people's skin is that why you leave red [ __ ] teabags in the toilet conditioned me to like that [ __ ] I can't stop watching anything everything like that but last night she was like oh no this is gonna tear you apart I go what is it she goes there was a I don't know a 12 year old boy four year old boy about 80 years ago 70 years ago yeah in South Carolina that was accused of raping killing two little girls and his trailer was a really quick his parents were like banned from the state yeah they were asked to like leave this thing leave the state and this 4-channel boy clutched his Bible while he was being electrocuted yeah his name is Benjamin Jimerson Phillips he was 14 and then recently some activists were like basically unearth his story and he you know he was that's not true I mean I don't want to I don't want to fight with you but I I taught the we the people that work on my show that makeup artists they're all African Americans yeah so I was I was telling them my girlfriend you know showed me this thing oh yeah that's that's they said her name his name yeah they all know yeah you know yeah but this kid arm was obviously innocent he clutches a Bible and then she goes kalila goes look at the photo she saw see your photo yeah but I told I know but before you didn't you thought that that was real but it wasn't I know but she's like she showed me a photo of a Fortuner boy in electric chair clutching his Bible crying she could this is the actual photo it [ __ ] tore me apart and then we went on a whole thing of like we gotta kill one no we were like enraged Oh toward white people for like an hour and then dissipated and I like to widen again that's why you're alive you already died yeah no but seriously like I you know I know that Pol Pot there's a lot been a lot I get any I mean I know bro I get it dude right yeah I know that every race can act horrendously but something about American history and the way you guys went a little kooky you know back in the time little cuckoo right Thanksgiving sounds like whoever's in power and a certain country can go a little cuckoo so if you just go around any evil part of the world say here's the power you'll be in a free country like America it's just mostly been white don't charge our sponsor lease it's beautiful mattresses one of the best space-age these pantries we'll be back Lisa Lisa Lisa a mattress redesign and a quality night's sleep helps you recover from distractions faster guys prevents burnout makes better decisions improve your memory and overall make fewer mistakes and life guys and let me say something right now if I had a Lisa mattress in highschool I would have got straight A's that's really what it's like bold statement I'm telling you right now because I would have slept so good at night and my mind would be powered and but the technology wasn't there in many ways you have to catch up with your technology guys Lisa is space-age mattress future sleeping it's the greatest mattress I've ever owned I use it with kalila we go Inca blinky on it and tell him about it well also Lisa strives leave the world better than they found it so together with the Arbor Day Foundation Lisa plants one tree for every mattress they sell and are committed to planting 1 million trees by 2025 right so don't miss these summer savings get a hundred sixty dollars off at Lisa mattress at Lisa comm slash belly yeah and I'm gonna say this right now with Lisa and they they're not this is not on the copy points or anything like that right I'm gonna spawn when you buy a Lisa mattress I'm gonna state this okay an angel gets its wings Wow because sometimes when you're you die and you go to heaven you're an angel you don't have wings oh yeah but Lisa provides all the wings oh so that's good good so so fine to your body I know we love them I know no no no no you know what I want out we will I will I will I will do a new topic but I want to do a little apology you're right George you're absolutely right and I want to say that every raise can act a little crazy and you have a point there power when people get into power although [Laughter] yeah but you know it's like we've talked about that Chinese guy in Canada eating that kid on the bus stop yeah people people do crazy things and um we've had that other guy on what's-his-name from sworn scale I like Buddha Michael Buddha he was a good one he's a good guy and we've talked to him about it and you know what what we all need to do is we just all need to love we do we do yeah don't you think yeah right kalila when you see a hobo right what do you normally do when you see a hobo you want to spit on don't you nope no I'm not done with this but you know what I do right I could do whatever you want with this get a sandwich sometimes I give him five if I'm in the mood have you seen me give 20s I have every once in a while maybe that's what I know I haven't well I I want to it's your heart that's in my heart but I think the key word of the week is love man mmm let's be real chest to chest you know mm-hmm let's be with each other let's absorb each other's energies and juices and just go with it mm-hmm you know I love you George and now your people have done horrendous things do but let me say something my people as well Michiganders no you know what I'm saying yeah but anyway yeah and that kid I don't know what happened but that that african-american kid the 14 year old you know it's a lot of prayers and wishes for his family yeah but he was proven innocent is what I was telling you and he said that's not true what like interupted mean you're like the ladies that the thing they said naw naw naw knows like how didn't even know what I was gonna say no that's I said I said they knew about the case yeah but you in you know they didn't say no no they were like you know we know that about that case well I didn't say that he was last night I would say that the listen the amount of listening them I know that last night I did say there's no absorption there's no real feedback you interrupted me before I was gonna say before finishing my sentence no trying to say earlier was activists it were eventually able to you know prove this kids innocence yeah but before I could finish that you were like no no no these ladies knew I was talking I was like what you had nothing to do with what I was saying and you just what I was gonna say did they approve it good let me ask you something do they prove it yes they did how I don't know they they just did I didn't read the whole Wikipedia thing can we talk about this though yeah go ahead what Kevin Spacey's movie did Friday night Millionaire's Club you know that oh right right right I saw that I just saw him you know how much it made how much opening night much on the guess what ten million I'll tell you here's a movie billionaires boys club I think that's what it's called a lot of good actors in that Friday night opening night it made a hundred and $26 are you for real 126 dollars if I could find a hundred and twenty six dollars in my house right now big people on that the other actors around him were like yeah why do you feel bad for who not for it Kevin Spacey the other actors they got yeah but it's also like Kevin Spacey is gonna be in this yeah I don't want to do the movie then well they had it really agreed to it but well before then because they had that kid Ansel Elgort from baby driver they have Emma Roberts oh wow huge names yeah yeah opening night made $126 holy crap there you go we mean there you go don't know you pervy yeah the box-office odds it's no babe is not 126 618 what dollars for the weekend the opening weekend oh that's still [ __ ] Oh what baby that's killing the game 18 opening night a maid $136 oh my god that's it also all weekend that's 600 let's even show more shocking you're right it is $126 opening night right at 287 the first two days yeah oh my god and let me see something right now it's over right for Kevin Spacey do you think that is insane yeah but do you what do you what can he do there's nothing you can do right it's over yeah it's over but don't people like oh what a Mel Gibson it was every once it was over for him than not he's like having a resurgence 20 years later but he wasn't violating young children no it's a big that's he huge yeah yeah and another thing is is that he was drunk and he did a whole rant about the Jews yeah which is completely insane and wrong but he was drunk and I've said some crazy things drunk I shouldn't say crazy things so overtake me miss the whole thing wharves I did not oh yeah yeah but you there's nothing he can do right no let me see if it's okay let me say something yeah let's say your PR guy okay and I'm Kevin Spacey no and you I just hired you yeah hey I'd like to resign try-try see what would you you would do okay let's reverse the world I'm gonna try you try because let me try call me Johnny yeah hold on I have Bill Cosby on the other line beep right up come on yeah hey what's up heard you're a specialist hey give it what's up what's up man uh so my movie tanks yeah I know you know $126 that's money yeah you're being sarcastic that's true sorry my bad but I was rough what's my next move was my next project well listen I beat your publicist hit up Scorsese know being your publicist we have to start from ground zero okay so um there's a couple of things we can do the first option is completely reconstructive surgery face off yeah I mean you're gonna turn into like John Travolta no I tried to folder you Anna can be mulatto you want me to yeah you could be like a new mulatto an older half black actor your name's gonna be James Jones sound Jackson you don't think I'll offend minority groups by no your name we're changing your name your whole identity so I'm no longer Kevin Spacey yeah you have the skills right and the voice oh the voice yes someone's gonna punch him in his like voice box okay forget that idea wait I've seen Mission Impossible they have that strip yeah or the second thing we can do is um you literally have to do you literally have to disappear and do make amends that's the real thing stop it you know what it's it's it's really as simple as this yeah and if I was Kevin Spacey as a friend I would say the career is probably over now we're fighting for your soul and you literally have to number one stop the behavior hopefully he has and number two you do everything you can to make amends and to make right all the wrongs and a lot of people that you harmed aren't gonna want to talk to you and at that point you're just gonna have to pray that their heart opens up because a lot of them you're gonna lose just off the get get go you're not gonna be able to do it but do everything you can to clean your side of the street because at the end of the day no one has any sympathy for you you made a lot of money you know and you did a lot of the harm and you used your power in the world kind of way you have to save your [ __ ] salted alright and I don't believe in God and when I say so I don't mean it in a religious context I mean your heart like your you know your spirit because it's damaged and you're [ __ ] if you don't because you're gonna die lonely miserable and empty really good yeah black face black faces yeah yeah I mean it's one hundred and twenty six dollars it's like I'll be honest with you no studio will touch that if you do one spot at them in the main room at the Comedy Store you make a hundred and fifty dollars yeah so basically like you open it the main room at the comics on a Saturday night do fifteen minutes you made more than then a movie it's like it opening the how much our dog sitter makes in a day right you could do there's so many things you could do three shifts at McDonald's can you make on $26 oh yeah yeah more right to shift to shift at McDonald's yeah yeah one waiting job at a decent restaurant you're gonna make more yeah this is insane how much money does it cost to make that moment I'm looking up right now it probably cost guess could all those eyelashes authorities million dollars thirty million dollars to make that that's like two Brazilian waxes yes it was a fifteen million so it made it cost fifty million to make the movie and it made a hundred six hundred dollars the opening weekend I have a question yeah who's who's the brilliant person who decided that it would be a good idea to put his face in the front of the [ __ ] movie post that's a very good point right who thought that you know what he might still wield some type of power here let's just throw in the freaking front of it all with big Kevin Spacey right there oh if I was the producer I would have called Kevin and go listen your name isn't gonna be on the poster your name is gonna be barely on the opening credits what are you you know I mean like three names and you'll be the third one and we're gonna write it in Israeli or something look I did Emma Roberts has a massive following that kid Ansel Elgort has a massive following put just first two in front and then you would have made so much oh they did that they kept his name dunno why not on the iTunes want it said Kevin Spacey yeah has his name on a business face there no but it would they could have just eliminated that completely you know what I'm gonna do I'd rather watch that movie then crazy I'm gonna buy tickets for that movie I'm rooting for that movie Wow I'm kidding man I'm godbless crazy rotations and all the people involved that blessed that fan god bless um everything man it's really good man you know we're blessed man you stop being so goddamn salty why sodium's good yeah you just stop being salty I'm getting really into this game no man's sky I think it's destroying my life well an outsider's view is it Mighty Mite aggress I'm not aggressive toward you when he's playing it Oh scream I didn't know but like when I play destiny right violent I was very I would throw things scream and whatnot okay until 6:00 7:00 in the morning right this game is more exploratory so I in and I don't know two years ago people are like this is the worst game ever made it refund it refunded a lot of money it's a beautiful game dude it's OhLaLa it's um so open you know that they have millions of planets and then you go to a planet you're like wow this is really into you you observe the creatures on it you go into caverns and basically you're a scientist in it yeah and I've been really getting into Star Trek next generation oh my god guys if you want my list of Star Trek at the next generation to watch we've already talked about it the past three weeks I'm just saying anyone wants to know I've been obsessed that Plus no man's sky yeah with that combination also three weeks I've been talking about that I didn't talk about it with Thomas Lennon I think patreon Oh with the patreon zwi talked about it is there more ads what is it Ruby Tuesday get ready for Ruby Tuesday oh my gosh ribbit-ribbit Ridge Ridge wallet rich wallet for your pockets Ridgewood okay let me see something about 12 years ago I um I needed to get a wallet so just listen what I'm saying okay and I bought one from 7-eleven and it broke apart and I keep bet we kept buying police clip wallets from the 7-eleven down the street and it's weak and as soon as rich wallet became response or we got I got one it is the best wallet I've ever owned in my life I'm being real look at George's right now okay look at the titanium on this right look at how those cards fit perfectly and look at the knotch you push and your cards come out it really is the design I'm just so blessed that they're on my life so they can't screen and and try to get your information I'll through the thing okay and that's space-age technology guys go to rich wall of calm and use promo code Tiger belly for 10% off guys if you want 10% off you use our promo code for sure okay that's religious that's rich wallet calm promo code Tiger belly guys now on to the show Richard Richard good for your pocket what did you Rogen Joe Rogan gun comes up to me and goes I want you to my podcast yeah and then I'm like yeah I'd really love you whenever okay let's do it okay I still haven't been on it why don't you follow up with them well I'm uh supposed to text jungle hey could I be I don't want to know why because I asked you I'm curious yeah because I'll tell you why okay this is that people that do our podcast I asked them people ask yeah and then they follow up like not through me I feel like I feel like George you know I've known Jill for 20 years yeah I loved you Rogan he's the best okay but there is he's an alpha male okay and I'm a coward Falls oh I really am I really I literally am weak and I'm a I'm a follower Thank You sheep no but like you know that I'll have talked about this back in the tribe days when we lived in tribes I'd be a gatherer for sure I'd be gathering [ __ ] that I don't even own yeah people would be go hunting it's not the people in the village would go out and they hunt right and I'd be weaving baskets with the women and making clogs and making sure that the haystacks are nice interesting right and then I'd be gathering other things and every once while I gather other people's stuff because I'm so good at what I do so when they came and come back from the hunt that I a do where's my water moccasins oh damn I got it wait a water moccasin is a snake it's not shoes way back to my apartment my snakes are gone who took my water moccasin is me was found in the Everglades is swampy area Misha's moccasins just not water here's another thing okay I've also been thinking about this is that there is no time period in human civilization that I would have survived in any any any civilization where there's a plague I'm the first one to get it I know it well that's fear poor person no I'll just be even if I was in a regal like situation I would just have blotches on my face and people like a dude what's going on I go I don't know and then I'd die and then they would name the disease ugly generically yeah you got the water moxie yeah slip blot you got slept ojos blotches and then like um back one in the front tier days remember back in the frontier days but Abe Lincoln right I've been thinking about this um having a family and then the nearest log cabin is five miles away so I have to hunt for the food right I would probably leave and come back with like a cricket in a bat wing is it hard to find I know that that's like all I could guys really good and then when I get back home our new families living there you're not gonna be like where my kids I mean that was three years ago my chauffeur ate a bat wing in a cricket right they'd be dead so if you had to choose an era now know it today Oh seven do that today actually nothing before or nothing after 1900 nothing after night I I would have to can I be born in a certain regal flow family I guess you can you can choose well then I would be like in the Ming Dynasty and I would be like a king maybe Emperor yeah but if I had to be a common person what society um probably I would probably live on an island like that an island like an island kind of a society I know but what's happening like have mammals you know evolved and live on land now are you still like you know what I mean prehistoric are you like you don't have to follow when humans actually you can be any time in oh there were no other humans I would be dead because I wouldn't need other people do the work for me right so I would probably be a part of a society a clan where they all know that I'm the [ __ ] one like he ain't gonna do nothing right and because they love me so much they still feed me and I could still roam with them here oh yeah I would roam you know the wilderness with them or whatever but I would be the last guy you know I mean I would be a problem for everybody I think hmm yeah you kalila maybe like ancient Mesopotamia of course a [ __ ] treasure hunter maybe when like the Code of Hammurabi was first written you know the first set of laws I would have liked have been like inject my own like hey can this be law like some absurd thing you know interesting making a law I would love to be in America if I was a like I would love to create laws or be in the room where they were coming up with it okay a consensual age someone who said 18 I'd be like lower 17 1 of 17 but it is fine you're you're right though I feel like that age thing is really sort of like arbitrary it's arbitrary yeah and it differs so much the way we value age in America is so different to how we evaluate other countries see age it's like as soon as you menstruate yeah like you some cultures think that you ought to get pregnant I mean that's a little [ __ ] ancient Sansa Stark and scary to think of because a twelve-year-old or some girls get their period of 10 9 even yeah I been around kids okay thank you know I've I don't know why why can't I even say that without it sounding creepy because I we've all know you've been around kids but you can now sleep right I know I meant I'm just letting you know okay and all the people out there listening the pop has been around children pop has been around children and in my head and this is true right they're so annoying right and they're just so in there and I just can't I'm very like even the kids on my show right I like I did a scene with van Crosby the boy on the show last night I love the kid he's so eccentric and so smart and I just like you know me but in my head you know I don't I I'm editing in my head and I'm I'm going you can't say that you can't say that and um so in my head I don't know how anybody you know over the age of 20 even thinks about you know I mean hitting on a kid or whatever so weird and creepy and weird the way he explained it is probably just like a part of their brain must be missing it's just something so you should kid you go that's a kid I cannot fathom ever feeling attracted to a child so I imagine it must be some kind of disease like a disease you can't I don't know it doesn't I don't know yeah I mean if like if I had a show like had to catch a predator mm-hmm but it was like my kids in the show yeah and dudes were coming over I would probably just kill them that I find that to be just insane I'll go crazy I'll get Steve involved what do you mean like bring him with you yeah my brother would go crazy rage town you go rage out wait I might have am i crossing any kind of line no why no because everyone in the room right now because I'm talking about kids and this kind of topic but you've no I know but everyone in the room right now is thinking that I'm gonna see something outlandish and insane and it is it an important appropriate talking about 100 Papa's around kids we know faster on children who's been around kids yeah that's it yeah I just um it's it's insane the human depravity you know and think up for laws and you know white let's make it 18 keep it 18 18 is great drinking 21 right up to 35 make it 35 yeah me no sex before 35 till near menopause what are you doing man what your dog keeps eating my scab it's painful why don't you wear socks dude no it's on my knee now she likes this cuz you put coconut oil on it right yeah yeah dogs my coconut oil [Laughter] yeah where we at alright a little over 50 it just turned I was scared I was gonna have to kill some dead air here no I was like Bombay Beach you know a beach I love you to kill air some air hey you know what why don't we spend the next 10 days just interviewing George about in his entire life everything was very interesting when was the last time you poop George I don't give a [ __ ] though I mean oh [ __ ] yeah when I see I don't give a [ __ ] I love the word gleeful it's something yeah depravity I just asked him anyways baby I feel like the world wants to get to know George Kim a little better Oh can I say something really no it's a good thing I just find that so mean George met in Pasadena and then we met up with Cindy for lunch after our meeting over there I heard that meeting Cindy goes it's just Muir's he's like white I lost my [ __ ] she loves you it's just I never thought she would say anything like that cuz she's like is it just because my voice sounds like every black comedians impression of a white guy I think so are you testing it was tested at two times ago and then it didn't get any laughs it just got a write that down yeah really great a great response hey Doris where have you been writing this down and why you've been writing Gilbert's let me try to set me up what have you been doing on the weekends hold on George so are we do you have a girlfriend no what are you dating a lot when was the last time you got your dick wet all right yes recently you have to be specific you're on the hot seat here was it somebody um what's her name what's your full name girl oh just random just imagine you still love Jessica everyone now room imagine George's penis are wrapped right and he's got a girl in the bed she gets naked yeah love it all right and he slowly you know creep I don't know how he does it his approach maybe kisses the thighs to get to the pit bag I know that's what I'm saying all right but look at his face and then sticky and they sticking his ugly ass pink penis on the edge of a woman's entrance and sliding it in yep in him going oh right and he palms and she if she has to pretend she likes it so she has to go ooh feels good or whatever right and then him going I'm gonna come oh oh that thought of him coming and then imagine his face his face turns all red right the veins under his eyelids pop out right and in its face is vibrating right oh like that oh my god your face doesn't look that much better can I show you guys what Bobby's face looks like what yeah do it it's a Japanese noodle commercial oh it's like when I this is the worst podcast we've done the whole thing I also I also think we should just get to the questions and maybe do a couple yeah yeah - actually I'm hopeful bus with all right kalila come and think about it erect peter ii city right there hey Bo Bob kalila Gilbert's and pink dick longtime fan here from Australia sorry if the question is too long four years ago when I was 19 some guys crashed my friend's party destroyed the house and assaulted people when the cops came I managed to get them to leave without violence afterwards they waited for me in six of them jumped me breaking my nose and sending me to the hospital I knew who the main instigator was but it was unable to press charges my nose is still crooked and I have held a grudge against him ever since I had been training jiu-jitsu for six years and I am a blue belt as I entered class last night I noticed the same guy who broke my nose was starting his first lesson since I've been unable to let go of my grudge I really want to wrestle him and be rough slash hurt him hoping and we'll give him some closure and give me some closure and stop him from stopped me from reliving that night no I could beat him but I also know this is kind of immoral an unrelated incident he also threatened my sister and I know he's still all around terrible person he also has no idea who I am so he wouldn't know why I'm acting this way toward him my question is should I go through the my plan in the hopes it will damage his ego or should I let it go a nosotros papaya to you also this is later my friend sleeps I'd like to tell you something that rage that you have and that resentment keep it it's it's a weapon and I wouldn't bring it up you know but I also you know wouldn't treat him the way I would know a normal human being right I give him the stink eye I'd be kind of cold with him and just being overall I don't even know what he looks like now or what the guy if you could definitely beat him now I don't know man you know no no he [ __ ] up his nose now it looks like Owen Wilson's nose yeah but this guy's a martial artist he's a blue belt he well like you learn offense and you're the opposite of no they only say that's a little separate kids can join but let's let's play this out let's play this out you hurt you let's say you happen to spar with him yeah right let's say use are you really really impose your weight on him and you [ __ ] just crack his clavicle just something that minor and then he's like wow this guy's really good he walks away injured what do you get out of that how does that mend though how does that mend your broken nose how does that mend the fact that he's already harassed your sister how does it how are you so certain that that it's going to change him as a person sometimes I beat multiple times and they'll never [ __ ] change Ari Shaffir when he beat me up he hated me right and he always said the last couple of years I saw him after that that if I hope you die you know I can pee on your grave okay now if I had died he would definitely pee on my grave at that point the pleasure of peeing on one's enemies grave there's not a better pleasure in the world you've done this no I'm just saying I can only I can only imagine right so what I'm saying is is that what is the peeing actually it's not gonna sink seep into the soil into the casket and you know maybe but it's just the act of it feels pleasurable well you're so different than me so what I would do did the guy is this okay this is the real thing and I'm gonna go back to what I would say Kevin Spacey be real remember the Kevin Spacey thing where I said about you know mean you that we all guys remember I remember so I would I would just be completely a complete [ __ ] right and eventually he might say hey wrong you somewhere and I go I would point to my nose ago you did this to my nose okay you say I don't remember yeah you jumped me at that party and then he's gonna go oh yeah and I'm gonna be like my bad man it was a long time ago yeah I know but my nose is still like this and someone's gonna pay how about we just grab lunch I'm really so no no okay you gonna go blind this is my first class you're literally a blue bit alright and then I would go I love you so there was confrontation I don't know I don't know how I feel if he can't do it but if I was a big man well this person right in front of John seems like a really cool headed chill dude with common sense the person that he that who broke his nose seems like a an awful individual I think I would steer clear from him altogether and not get caught up in that person's negative activity vibe whatever and just move on with my life what are you doing yeah cuz I something you know like like I said like who's who's to say even if you beat him up bloody that he's even gonna change or he's not even gonna retaliate field need to retaliate even more and harass your sister even more they're just some young [ __ ] dumbass dudes like that who just want trouble so I would say you're not gonna be the teacher just stay clear Koreans are really into offense look at our movies I know all revenge you know I don't know why but there's something that's my real life I know it's not real but I just like the idea or a venge but it's not healthy you're right why would you hug you could this guy could land in jail yeah you're a good guy give him a hug beep play the bitter tie and go hey or did you say pull him aside and go listen a couple years ago you know you jumped me and your buddies at a party my nose is all [ __ ] up that's fine I just wanna let you know that I'm completely over it and um you know I'm bummed that you did that but I forgive you something to that everyone HAP is everyone happy or that are like hey dude you did this to me do better like I don't know where you are in your life now but you need to do better and stop harassing me let's say just one roll around and give them just give it to even get em a choke hold and say I forgive you as he's passing out yeah well that's what I'm saying that's thank you guys see that's I feel like it's a healthy compromise Kissin while he's passing out yeah but don't like give me another one this is a female sleeper hi everyone I'm a recent sleeper and I would like to say that I've been binging her podcast all summer I'm 21 and never dated before I really believe in loving herself first before dating which is why I've been single but lately I've been trying to get in a relationship I've been mostly on dating apps and had been burned pretty bad every time I'm losing the courage to put myself out there and also becoming depressed because I feel like I put in a hundred percent when the guy treats me like the toy like a toy he throws away once he's done playing I really admire the relationship kalila and Bobbie have and I hope I you you know it's so [ __ ] up that you would even like laugh like that and I he that - yeah yeah - hyena laughs and I hope to find that guy I hope to find that diamond there in the rough - what advice do you have for me as I try to find the Bobby for me and how do I get over the other guys you know why that's funny she did odd B or didn't even give me a chance how does she find her Bobby how does she get over the guys that didn't give her a chance I think that you should really stop and consider what a Bobby is because it could potentially be life-ending it could if you're somebody who is very strong-minded and very patient and has a very high threshold for emotional pain I would say find a Bobby but if you're not those things I would i i i don't know i don't know what your personality is like so it's hard to say baby lady ok just can I finish can I finish I the reason you and I work is because I can't work with anybody else I've been with guys who have been great partners but didn't have that same level of difficulty that you provide is that sentence structure you have to understand that I am an athlete I still operate like an athlete if there's no hurdle if there's no obstacle if there's no level of difficulty for my 10 meter dive or my 3 meter dive I am not able to perform at my optimal level you have to tell me that something is difficult in order for me to want to even attempt it with my full heart Wow debate team Wow but Bobby gives me resistance when I say something he makes my [ __ ] hair fall out of my head and I like that because I don't if you're a doormat I know it sounds really it sounds [ __ ] up but it's what I need in my life I need someone [ __ ] up and he needs someone [ __ ] up like me it's it just works but for her this thing might not be good for you you might even call it emotional abuse but that's what I'm into make sense so how do you find what you're looking for on these dating apps yeah that's uh on these oh I don't know how these dating apps are now I think that tinder is garbage right except he found your body yeah but that was the beginning of tinder when there was still real talent there now it's just kind of a throwaway it is a hook-up app it's not a relationship I think I think hinge is better right hinge and I was a long time ago in the self Bumble I don't know I'm so out of it I wouldn't know but I know some friends who use hinge and they feel like guys they're more serious it seems that they're really it's like it's like a match calm but less formal maybe hey what's going on I'm listening he's about he's powering up so how old is this girl 21 and you know at the end of the day it's trial and error trial and error and you might find the guy right away she wants her Bobby she's right but is that it to get you you need skin you need a thick skin thick skin and the thick skin doesn't happen overnight it takes years because I'm difficult I mean I'm difficult in many ways I'm also a lottery ticket yeah I agree yeah I think because I'm special in that way as well so I don't know what to say cuz I was a little only one of me so you can't find really Bobby right and I'm a diamond in the rough and also what works for us and our relationship might not necessarily work for another relationship this type of openness and candor yeah we do the way we talk about oh you just tried it yet I think maybe we do I am I'm fine wow so quick you see how he's like your rapid that's a really that's a really cool sticker right there hey I have there's one more question that I actually go ahead when I read this is from Anthony and it says dear Tiger belly my name is Tony I'm 25 and my girlfriend and I have been together for almost six years a year ago we decided to get a little puppy who has brought nothing but joy into our lives now before pizza that's the name of the puppy PETA we would [ __ ] all the time but now with her it's very complicated we have a very small one-room apartment and no matter where we try to hide she finds us or we'll cry and go nuts if we lock her and other up tomorrow same exact thing we went through my question is with you guys with you guys look loving dogs so much what do you guys do to keep them peacefully away while you do your business bit of why it's true so true we have three okay if I hug kalila dog the dogs go apeshit in what way Lee barking protect not even bark growling barking they go apeshit and you know being having six animals in the small of a space it definitely affects everything when and I you know we went on vacation to Hawaii I said to myself this is our time and it was I started getting back in the groove of her but that's why I'm trying to find a bigger place so that white tilting your head bro yeah and that's what I meant to say so why are you poking your head like because I understood the valleys yeah I'll rip you did just watch your [ __ ] watch your back girl rip you okay the [ __ ] your problem right now dog got some beef anyway um we don't have to answer Tony Tony Tony Tony it's difficult and um you might have to find a bigger place matters like crate if you only have one dog I've definitely seen Richard born where people are [ __ ] in there's a dog yeah but some dogs are very chill about it they'll just sit and watch other dogs or want to participate but they think that Bobby is doing something me yeah that's fun they wanna they want to protect me so they they bark at him and you knew who Willie Tyler and Lester is mm-hmm Willi and Tyler and Willie Tyler and Lester or one of the first kind of big ventriloquist's in America Willie Tyler is kind african-american man he must be 70 something but back in the day he was on every TV show and Willie Tyler is imagine Sesame Street and that black guy that's in Sesame Street he's that guy just completely kind and innocent and his stand-up with Tyler it I mean Lester it's just cute and there's nothing but he told me one day that when he makes love to women Lester's at the edge of the bed he puts Lester at the edge of the bed and when he's humping Lester I mean he needs Lester to be there I know why just that just out entered my mind and he would take that with you all right get a puppet that was a weird podcast if you know what I worked all day Empire and I don't know I don't know you know in the long day's a long day I don't know but hopefully you liked it hopefully it went up the edit too much out of it I think that other stuff that was saying was fine okay but listen to it who knows god bless you take care goodbye any shows for Bobby close oh no something no more shows retired I was retired if you want Bobby to do you call those comedy okay because sometimes when we witness yeah you're fine yeah sometimes when I say some things like that like people are like why are you with him oh my god they don't understand because I don't get it babe you don't understand this in love I don't get it the challenge she's an athlete all right challenge George any announcements any shoutouts do we need to do for anybody not just read the text I gave you and I'm okay not an ITEX hey guys thank you make it look natural Hey kalila what are we doing are you hungry no I just ate but I am blue apron the first three goes free a blue apron comp slash belly so thank you to blue apron make sure you go check out those meals they use it don't miss these summer savings get a hundred sixty dollars off at Lisa mattress at least at that calm slash belly and get a ten percent off this slim sleek and delicious wallet at Ridge wallet promo code Tiger belly get those wallets guys make sure you follow us on instagram at Tiger belly on Twitter at that Tiger belly emails any questions or unhelpful vice at the Tiger belly at gmail.com and if you haven't already we're ready to episodes deep into the patreon so make sure so you subscribe it's only $5 but if you're legit it's $20 if you're more legit than that and you want Bobby to say your name on this podcast to become a real papaya a hundred bucks no or just show up and you can see that this oh sorry but okay so the market gross now goes I'm so gross check out our patreon how's the wise George looking at me kalila where can we follow you at calamity King George where can we follow you hi George underscore come alone Instagram look up for everything else Bobby [Music]

Channel: TigerBelly

Views: 190,752

Rating: 4.7460899 out of 5

Keywords: tiger belly, tigerbelly, bobby lee, khalyla, gilbert galon, podcast, khalyla kuhn, tgrbly, all things comedy, crazy rich asians, review, asian representation, true crime, my favorite murder, news, kevin spacey, movie, box office, publicist

Id: CKLJ0roAjfg

Length: 75min 56sec (4556 seconds)

Published: Thu Aug 23 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/Jhonopolis]

Khalyla looking particularly hot in this clip.

[u/sumeetg]

Starts at 43:11. Basically he talked to Joe about going on the podcast and he never followed up because he's intimidated by Joe...

[u/PhiWeaver]

I want Bobby Lee and Redban on together just to see how Joe handles it.

[u/darkjediii]

He's been on twice already.

[u/Vespergraph]

is jrelibrary.com/upcoming-guests official?

[u/2ND_Dinner]

I thought he came on a long ass time ago?

[u/[deleted]]

Stealer Gatherer lol. Bobby's awesome. He needs to follow up.