A Computer Co-Wrote this Sketch

[Music] hi I'm Mike Trapp from CollegeHumor and I'm Zak done from bottleneck you know even here at College Humor our cushy comedy writing jobs aren't safe from the relentless progress of technology our computers analyzed college humor sketches to create a predictive text engine which our team of elite writer engineers used to write something better than college humor ever could have well I mean I don't know if it's better please enjoy the first college humor sketch written by Botnick we do all kinds of like different styles comedy and like it's like we just launched drop out it's really interesting interior college humor sketch grand reads a website page about how to get a Jar Jar body he will pass away underneath the couch exactly one year from today Allie Katie Rica Rafael and Siobhan are sitting around the table like bad candles on a half-assed cake piece of seaweed touch my mouth and I swallowed it that's trap Enders with pieces of coconut Venus let's get this meeting started like yesterday oh these four friends have to steal a car but just when they're about to use the new phone a stranger has celiac disease just gonna use a tiny computer now a sketch where a shark touches my leg and I just love it so much right now not because it's dumb it would probably read the New York Times okay this one's called when the salad man flirts with people it's about how vegetables are getting super friendly a sketch where I eat the kind of rice that would be totally great right now I need vitamin I rice none of these meaningless ideas are a funny sketch I'm yelled at all day just for being a terrible human being disgusting okay so all crime is legal but just for the Yankees it's not a good thing help us sketch about falling into the little hole in the breakroom has that hole always been there we see a large hole in the ground it wins there are slices of me floating in the desktop how the hell did that happen this apple cider is a granola bar and it hurts to drink theoretically you should be completely non laundry everything goes blurry on grant takes off his glasses grant takes off his glasses and the office looks like oil paint it was that radio always saying my thoughts this is flooding my thought engine don't you think this cantaloupe is making everybody crazy no great so I can put my mouth on it Haiti is clearly uncomfortable with her hand hams are being paranoid they're literally afraid to kill my mom's friends Wow I'm screaming in my body but you can't hear it your big fake arms are stressing me out grant takes off his shirt and starts panicking everyone screams his body is covered in stem you people need to make me a [ __ ] human before I talk like a sprinkler everyone exchanges looks McDonald's is actually good for the whole sketch moves around and everyone screams [Applause] [Music] [Applause] it's obvious color tumors time and space are broken look around the desks are not usually this sasquatch grants clothes are advertisements for my ankles and now everything is relationships cause you're grinding my mind beef I can't make sense of sounds repeat are we computer people I think she's got it we're stuck in a big old computer the world is a smart box and we am inside I sneeze data wow it makes you an ad but [ __ ] off [ __ ] it's so not cool my high school named me least likely to be in a computer I'm just a program designed to make haha a file name laughs man computers vaguely God I guess we're made entirely of invisible garbage and fact this girl's going on Twitter to remember her name a moment of decided silence as she looks at her phone and squint news about what happened to us tomorrow damn how much time has taken place since we were trapped in here when we started smelling year I sent you a dumb shirt every day it feels like a tuxedo ago now it's useless there's no way to split we're stuck doomed until son explosion to mind jokes in this humor computer [Music] everybody is really [ __ ] freaking out right now the camera pulls out if you know what I mean interior CollegeHumor office night of the dolls traps it's at a desk in front of a very old computer the office is clearly empty of his co-workers trap looks at the camera aren't I a shitty [ __ ] hi it's Mike Trapp from CollegeHumor click here to subscribe click here for more fun things and send help to keep me from sinking please please help please help

Channel: CollegeHumor

Views: 2,201,271

Keywords: Collegehumor, CH originals, comedy, sketch comedy, internet, humor, funny, sketch, weird, botnik, technology, the singularity, robots, jar jar binks, failed pitches, special effects, trippy, computers, alternate reality, trapped, mike trapp, zach dunn, grant o’brien, siobhan thompson, raphael chestang, rekha shankar, katie marovitch, ally beardsley, hardly working

Id: BjngNWP9C5s

Length: 5min 35sec (335 seconds)

Published: Mon Jan 14 2019

Reddit Comments

[u/[deleted]]

This actually made me laugh to tears. Easily my favorite CH sketch.

[u/[deleted]]

This is actually the best college humor sketch I've ever seen.

[u/Leprecon]

This is a really good sketch

[u/[deleted]]

This one really is good, although the story seems planned out enough that I'm guessing the bot had at least a little bit of human help (hence the "co-wrote" in the title).

The line "Empty me, damn you! I'm trash!" seems super meaningful for some reason. I also love Trapp's grin at the end. "Aren't I a shitty bitch?" He's so proud of himself.

Oh, and I'm totally using "This is flooding my thought engine".

[u/[deleted]]

THIS IS MOST EXCELLENT WRITING. MOST VERY HUMANLIKE IN EXECUTION.

[u/GargamelLeNoir]

Man this felt like a particularly bad fever dream. I loved it.

[u/AutumnFoxDavid]

There is no way this was written by a computer. I'm confused why I haven't found any comments disagreeing. If it was powered by machine learning, as implied, then it doesn't make sense how well it all fits together. When they're in the computer, they all talk about how they're in a computer: "I'm a program", "sneezing data", a computer doesn't know that these are related to them being in a computer. It also matches the CollegeHumor format too well. I think that if a computer was involved, it was very minimal. Previous similar ideas have met criticisms for saying they were written by a computer, like the Harry Potter one, and I think this is far less believable. I definitely think it's funny, but it's definitely misleading in how it was created.